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Speaker 1: Hi, guys, it's me real quick. Before we hop into

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the podcast, I just want to let you know I

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have a new comedy special called Sorry Dad coming out

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on December twelfth, so keep an eye on my YouTube

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and it will also be available on OnlyFans Tea with

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no interruptions, no commercials. Enjoy the podcast, you guys. Hello, Hello,

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Welcome to Talk and Schmidt. My name is Brittany. I

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am your host. I am so excited to be here.

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This is our very first episode. What is going on?

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Welcome to hell? It's me, Satan. I saved you a seat.

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I hopped out of your nightmares and into your fucking screens.

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So here I am. I. I am launching a new podcast,

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and I'm so excited about it. I think this is

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going to be a lot different than the last project

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I did. Obviously, it's just me and Biggie Small's the

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dog and yeah, so it's going to be different. It's

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gonna be a different format, it's going to be a

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different vibe.

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Speaker 2: Uh.

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Speaker 1: We're going to talk more about health and wellness, and

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we're going to have a confession corner for you guys

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to write in and tell me anything you guys want

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to talk about and we are going to keep badvice going.

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This is just the intro episode, so I'm going to

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get you guys caught up on my life and my

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summer and what the fuck's been going on with me,

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and just know I missed you so so, so so much.

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But also I had a really nice time not talking

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not yeappened for a whole summer. It was so peaceful

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and chill and serene, and I really liked it. So

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you know, this party's going to be a little smaller,

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a little more intimate, probably than the last party we

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were all at together. But I'm excited. I'm excited if

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you're here. I'm excited that I'm here. I'm excited that

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bigging small so the Dog is here. It's all very exciting.

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And before I launch into the podcast, I just want

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to let you know I am on the road. I

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have a show in Denver on December eighth, So if

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you're in this week, I think by the time this

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comes out it'll be this week. Please come see me.

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I'm at the Denver Improv. You can look at my

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show links on Brittany Schmidt dot com for all of

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my stand up shows. I've been having so much fun

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doing stand up. You guys. I am in the middle

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of writing a whole new set and I just filmed that.

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You guys have so much to tell you. I have

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so much to tell you. It's so exciting. Okay, So

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I have a show in Denver twelve eight. That's my

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last show this year, one and only, and then if

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you look towards next year, I've got a bunch coming up.

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I've got Austin, I've got Rallie, I've got I'm going

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to Europe. I'm doing a London show. I'm going to

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be all over the place. So check Britney Schmidt dot

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com b R I T T A N Y S

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C H M I T T NO D. I took

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all of those in college. So come to a show,

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come say what's up. I would love to see you.

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And on that note, we're going to get into it.

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Let's get into the most asked question. Listen, you guys,

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I vacillated. I have gone back and forth, over and

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over and over again whether or not I want to

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talk about this highline top note. I really don't. But

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since so many of you asked, I mean hundreds of dms,

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there's a lot of questions about what happened, what happened

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with everything, what happened, and I can confirm, I will

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confirm that the friendship is over. But what I'm gonna

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say is like, listen, I know you guys want the tea.

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You're like, it's piping, it's scalding, and trust me, if

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I gave it to you, you'd all have third degree burns.

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But I live and die by the fact that when

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you talk about someone else, it says more about you

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than it does about them. It's kind of the same

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way like I used to work in hr I you know,

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I recruited people full time for a living, and I

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worked for a really big company, and you know, there's

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there's rules about recruiting and interviewing and all that stuff,

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and one of the main rules is if they're talking

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like mad, nasty shit about a place they used to

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work at, they're gonna do that same thing to you.

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And it's also just I think it says more about

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them and their inability to cope with like life and

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its challenges and how people and jobs and nothing is

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ever perfect. So I listen, I've done a lot of

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work on myself, and I can take the punches as

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they come. And I know there's been some sneak dishes

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online and on Snapchat. You know, she can't get off Snapchat,

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Oh my god. But I'm gonna rise above it. I don't.

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There's a few things that I'm gonna talk about separately

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that I want you guys to know about. I really

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value being an honest person. And there's just some stuff

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in my life that's been going on where you know,

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some some people think like, Okay, I'm just gonna get

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into it. I'm just gonna say it. I have been

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in my life sober for big chunks of time. I've

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had full sobriety. And to me, full sobriety is, you know,

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no alcohol, no hard drugs, no soft drugs, no fun drugs,

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no drugs period. And I've gone back and forth a lot.

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I had three full years of sobriety, and then I

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you know, did mushrooms and I smoked a little pot.

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And then I had another three full years of sobriety,

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and then I did mushrooms and I smoked a little pot,

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and then I got I started over again. So listen,

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I'm a little bit of a back and forth girly

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I'm not a one size fits all person. So if

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you're looking to me for perfect sobriety, please don't. That's

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not me. That's not how I'm practicing, that's not what

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I'm doing. And I you know, I'm going to tell

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you guys some stories about this summer and what happened

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and what went down, and I'm just gonna be honest,

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and I'm gonna tell you I did some fucking mushrooms.

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So I don't want anyone to fucking be like, oh,

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I tell you were sober, and like, listen, I don't.

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I don't think sobriety is a one size, fit all,

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fits all thing. I think AA was so important to

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me in the beginning of my sobriety, and I might

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go back to it. I have no idea. I think

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all we do is get on these microphones and we

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contradict ourselves and we say things that we really genuinely

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mean in the moment, and then we change our minds

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because we're people. And that's the only thing that stays

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the same as change. That's the only constant that there

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is in life. And I will say, in my experience

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since I got medicated for depression, which if you guys

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were not with me on that journey. I was severely,

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severely depressed. I was diagnosed with moderate severe depression. And

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once I got medicated for that and I got on lexipro,

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my highs and lows within my personal sobriety, the edges

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on everything just kind of softened. Nothing felt as serious

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or as severe, or as high or as low. It did.

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The medicine did work. So my experience this year so

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far in my sobriety has been excuse me, has been that.

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And listen, for me, drinking is the thing that I

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can't do. If I start drinking again, we're all in trouble.

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Call the cops. Call your there, pissed. Call my mom

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because I'm coming to find her. I'm gonna be I'll

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be in hell. I'm gonna die if I start really

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drinking again. But I know that my sobriety has been

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talked about, so I'm just gonna talk about it too.

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I don't think anyone has the right to talk about

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somebody else's sobriety. I think that's fucking crazy. But you know, listen,

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if you if you want to fight that way, you can.

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I all I can do is be honest with you

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on my journey. I am not in a position where

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I'm struggling right now, but I'm also not in a

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position where i'm fully sober. So if you're trying to

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quit drinking, I am happy to help you, guys. I'm

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happy to give you advice on what I did. All

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I can do is share my experience, strength, and hope

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and pray that it helps you in some way. But

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just know that, like, I don't want to disrespect anybody

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ever who is fully sober by saying, like, you know,

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I'm sober and I can help you on there's a

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lot of I don't know what I can do. All

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I can do is sit here and be honest and

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yeap a little bit and hopefully get like one hour

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of your week make it slightly better, or I annoy

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you so much that you turn it off and then

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you get a whole hour of your week back. And

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that's pretty good too, So listen you, guys. I'm so

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excited to be on this journey with you. I'm happy

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to have a space where I can be open and

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honest about it, and if it changes again, I will

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be open and honest about that. If I decide that

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I need to go back to the program. We can talk.

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We'll talk about that, we'll talk through everything. Like life

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is constantly changing. I'm constantly changing. I have no idea

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who I'll be next week. I don't know who will

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be in five minutes. I don't even remember who I

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was yesterday. So I just this is who I am today,

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and I am enjoying myself. So with that said, I

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have so much shit to cut you guys up on,

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like so much life. Shit happened to me this summer.

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It was really really unbelievable, and I think it was

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like it was a balance of the best and worst

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summer I've ever had in my life. So I guess

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at an average, it was just like a very midsummer

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but super highs super lows. And I want to start

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with a high and some good news, which is that

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I have a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend. I found one,

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I trapped one, I got them, I got all the

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butterfly net and I fucking caught them. No, I didn't

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mean to. Honestly, this was such a happy accident, such

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a mistake, not a mistake. I'm like, this is the

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worst thing that's ever happened I mean somebody helped me.

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I blink twice of your being held hostage, get out

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of here. No, not a mistake in that way, Like

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I truly didn't mean for this to happen. I got

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off of Hinge because I was having the worst luck,

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like the worst luck. Actually, I don't think it was

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that bad. I just think I was finding guys that

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were saying they wanted relationships and they weren't wanting relationships.

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And that's fine. You know. I think a lot of

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people do that to get laid, and that's you know,

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that's fine. What could a woman do to get laid?

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That's a lie? Well, I guess we wear push up bras,

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and we wear push up bras. And this fake hair

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on my head right now, the four hundred fake hairs

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on my head. You guys know me. You know I

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have four hairs on my head. I'm wearing fake hair.

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But I, by the way, I love this weave no shade,

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thank you Setlana and Sweden or whoever's hair this is.

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But I actually did find a product to help me

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grow my motherfucking hair back after that op that op

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as bitch put those extensions in my hair that tore

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all my hair out. Yeah, I did finally find a product.

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It's called Berber Hair Oil. They are one of our

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sponsors for the show, so I don't want to ruin it.

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I'm gonna gush on them later. But back to my

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motherfucking man. Okay. So I went out to the Hampton's

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for Arena's fortieth birthday and we had a great weekend.

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The last podcast I was doing had just ended, and

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so I had some time, so I was like, I'm

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gonna spend a week in New York and do some shows.

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And so I did that, and I, like I said,

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I took hine off my phone because I was just

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getting fucked around, and I think like the Frenchie, the

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last guy was talking about the fucking six' four mixed

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Race french model who was just beautiful and completely uninterested in.

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ME i really feel like he was the final test

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from the universe because physically he was a specimen and

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mentally emotionally the most unavailable and closed off Person i've

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ever met in my, life which usually for, me WHEN

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i see those types of red, Flags i'm, Like, OLA

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i am a. BULL i am running towards, that AND

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i did for a little bit and THEN, i you,

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KNOW i just finally like he was trying to meet

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up again after we had like a weird fight, thing

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AND i finally was, like you know, WHAT i think

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we're just ultimately looking for different. Things like the first

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NIGHT i met, him he was, LIKE i do not

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want to date. YOU i want to have sex with multiple,

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women BUT i want you to be my main. One

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AND i was, like that sounds great for just, you

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for you and only, you that sounds really. Great BUT

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i went along with it because he say this unch

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00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,159
he has this little laxceunle news go, da like he

237
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:12,080
had abs up to his fucking teeth like he. Had

238
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:15,720
it was just he was a beautiful person and hold

239
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:21,559
on pause for diet. Coke BUT i really feel like

240
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,559
he was the final. Boss LIKE i do believe that

241
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,440
the universe tests you with, people, places and things to

242
00:12:26,519 --> 00:12:28,799
see if you've learned the lessons that you need to.

243
00:12:28,879 --> 00:12:31,600
Learn AND i think that's why sometimes in, everything in

244
00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:35,840
relationships and friendships and mentorships and jobs and, careers and

245
00:12:35,919 --> 00:12:38,840
you will get similar situations that test you in the

246
00:12:38,879 --> 00:12:41,840
same way until you learn the. Lesson AND i think

247
00:12:41,879 --> 00:12:44,159
for me finally saying you, know WHAT i. Think we

248
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,279
want different, things but this has been so fun getting

249
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,639
to know. You and he just hearted the message and

250
00:12:48,639 --> 00:12:51,000
we never talked. AGAIN i think that was my test

251
00:12:51,039 --> 00:12:53,720
from the, universe AND i felt really good about. It

252
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,679
it was, like you, know six ish weeks SINCE i

253
00:12:56,799 --> 00:12:59,240
had gotten, LAID i went To New. YORK i was,

254
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:02,000
Like i'm wanna Download hinge. Again and my full, intention

255
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,279
my one hundred percent full, intention was to have a

256
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,279
one night. Stand that's ALL i wanted to. DO i

257
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:10,080
dropped my age parameters On hinge down to twenty. Five

258
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:13,559
they were at thirty five BECAUSE i was trying to intentionally, date.

259
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:15,200
Speaker 2: You.

260
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:18,240
Speaker 1: Know AND i REMEMBER i on the old. Podcast we

261
00:13:18,279 --> 00:13:20,600
had a woman on who like tore my profile. Apart

262
00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:22,960
she was just, like, no you're just you're being too

263
00:13:23,039 --> 00:13:25,240
funny and this isn't real and no one's ever gonna

264
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,440
get to know. You AND i was, like, yo, Bitch

265
00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:30,960
like the first the, person the people that the person

266
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:34,120
THAT i want to attract will like my, short funny.

267
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:37,080
Prompts they will not mind that it says Typical, sunday

268
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,399
what are you? Doing AND i, say contemplating the sweet

269
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:45,000
release of. Death you, know my, Person my person will understand.

270
00:13:45,039 --> 00:13:49,720
That and SO i dropped my age down AND i

271
00:13:49,759 --> 00:13:53,639
pretty quickly met with this guy who was twenty, seven

272
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:56,320
and he was really, funny and his prompts were very

273
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,720
similar to. Mine they were short and, sweet AND i liked.

274
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,879
IT i could tell he was, funny AND i couldn't

275
00:14:01,879 --> 00:14:03,720
tell much, else so the rest was a, mystery AND

276
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:05,519
i like. That like one of his prompts Was i'm

277
00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:08,799
weirdly attracted to dot dot dot the clinically. INSANE i was,

278
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,320
like sign me, up, BITCH i will wear my straight

279
00:14:11,399 --> 00:14:16,519
jacket to dinner LIKE. I i JUST i liked, it

280
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,720
and then he is, Like i'm weirdly afraid OF i.

281
00:14:18,759 --> 00:14:22,080
Think it was like small talk and, elevators AND i was,

282
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:23,440
LIKE i hate small talk.

283
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:24,159
Speaker 2: Too this is.

284
00:14:24,159 --> 00:14:26,840
Speaker 1: Perfect and he's handsome and he's tall and he's funny

285
00:14:26,879 --> 00:14:29,759
and we started bantering and it was really. Cute AND

286
00:14:29,879 --> 00:14:31,720
i was In New york after The. HAMPTONS i was

287
00:14:31,759 --> 00:14:35,039
In New york with a girlfriend and she had gotten

288
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:37,639
us tickets to This broadway show AND i don't really Do,

289
00:14:37,679 --> 00:14:39,440
broadway BUT i was, like, whatever we're In New, york

290
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:42,559
we're gonna do. It and then this guy was LIKE

291
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,039
i have really bad. News the only time THAT i

292
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,480
can see you is tonight for like an early dinner at,

293
00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:49,519
seven Because i'm going to The. Hamptons AND i was, like,

294
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,200
oh don't do this to. Me you. Know it was

295
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,240
like one of those, things, like don't ruin my fucking

296
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,320
day with your bad news and Your hampton's. Plans by the,

297
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,000
WAY i was just in The. HAMPTON'S i don't really

298
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,679
like him that. MUCH i just felt LIKE i was

299
00:15:00,679 --> 00:15:02,440
in a backyard with a, pool, which by the, way

300
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,919
you can find those. Anywhere and granted MAYBE i wasn't

301
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,360
on the most expensive property with the waterfront, view but

302
00:15:07,399 --> 00:15:09,919
the food was bad and everyone's so, entitled AND i

303
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,559
just don't really get what the fuck's going on in The.

304
00:15:11,559 --> 00:15:14,279
Hampton's but Maybe i'll go back And i'll get, It

305
00:15:14,279 --> 00:15:16,360
but this TIME i didn't really get. It, ALSO i

306
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:17,519
think it was tough for me because it was a

307
00:15:17,519 --> 00:15:19,799
fortieth birthday party and everyone was kind of like in party,

308
00:15:19,799 --> 00:15:22,480
mode and you, KNOW i JUST i. WASN'T i had

309
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,840
brought some mushroom chocolates with me just in CASE i

310
00:15:24,879 --> 00:15:28,279
wanted to, vibe AND i didn't find the right time

311
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:32,080
to do, it SO i. Didn't but, anyway he was,

312
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,919
Like i'm going to The. Hampton's we can do an early.

313
00:15:33,919 --> 00:15:35,440
DINNER i have to leave the. DINNER i have to

314
00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:37,720
leave the city at nine. Pm AND i was, like, okay.

315
00:15:37,879 --> 00:15:42,480
NICE i love a nice early. Dinner and you, KNOW

316
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,080
i was, like does this have something to do with

317
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,360
our age? Gap Because i'm nine years older than you

318
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,919
and you want to take me to like A Grandma

319
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:53,120
Special Early Bird special with the FUCKING i don't know

320
00:15:53,159 --> 00:15:55,120
we're even kind of good an Early Bird special Not New.

321
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,840
YORK i don't think they exist In New. York but,

322
00:15:56,919 --> 00:16:01,480
anyway long, story long as FUCK i canceled The broadway.

323
00:16:01,519 --> 00:16:03,360
Show there was just. Something. Okay first of, ALL i

324
00:16:03,399 --> 00:16:05,799
want to say two things THAT i forgot to. Say

325
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:08,200
WHEN i was going back into the city from The,

326
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,600
HAMPTONS i got WHAT i can only truly describe as

327
00:16:11,639 --> 00:16:14,559
a download from the universe to Download, hinch AND i was,

328
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,480
like in my, mind my rational mind was, like why

329
00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:19,720
the fuck WOULD I why WOULD i do. THAT i

330
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,200
can go out to a bar and meet a GUY

331
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,039
i don't need to WELL i want you know WHAT i.

332
00:16:23,039 --> 00:16:25,200
MEAN i can go out in the wild and find a.

333
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,159
MAN i don't need, to but there was just a

334
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,759
really strong feeling to download. It And i'm LIKE i

335
00:16:31,799 --> 00:16:33,919
do every single Time i've been on this app in

336
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,120
the last six. Months it has taken me to the

337
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,919
pits of hell and spit me back. Out SO i

338
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,399
don't really know WHY i would do, this BUT i downloaded.

339
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:42,559
It LIKE i, SAID i lowered the. Age we get

340
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,960
on there AND i just, again the banter was so,

341
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:50,120
good one of the funniest People i've ever, met AND

342
00:16:51,559 --> 00:16:55,600
i just got so, lucky like he's so fucking. Cool

343
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,639
but then he was, Like i'm not going to be,

344
00:16:56,679 --> 00:16:58,080
here AND i was, like by the time he got,

345
00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,480
BACK i was gonna be. Gone it was this whole,

346
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:01,879
Thing SO i cancel this. SHOW i go to dinner with,

347
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:05,160
him AND i get there And i'm, excited like we

348
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,279
had been having great. CONVERSATION i put on like a

349
00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:10,559
cute little skims dress AND i had My Jack nichols

350
00:17:10,599 --> 00:17:14,920
and cocaine glasses. On AND i get there and he's

351
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:20,960
speaking frantically with the host and He i'm, like, hey

352
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:22,960
you know what's, up and he's just, like hang, on

353
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,960
give me a, second frantically with the, host And i'm

354
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,000
just catching like little words here and. There he's, like,

355
00:17:27,039 --> 00:17:28,519
NO i don't want to sit with. Him sit him

356
00:17:28,519 --> 00:17:30,680
across the, restaurant sit him in the other. CORNER i

357
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,240
don't want to see. HIM i don't want to make

358
00:17:32,279 --> 00:17:34,119
eye contact with. Him AND i was, like what are

359
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,559
we getting ourselves into? Here like what sort of arch

360
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,880
nemesis is about to show up at this? Dinner and

361
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,799
then two seconds later he rolls his eyes and he's,

362
00:17:44,839 --> 00:17:48,119
like oh. Fuck it's, Like, britney this is my. Dad

363
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,799
this is my dad and his. Wife AND i was, like,

364
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:55,640
oh oh, hi and like, meanwhile he AND i hadn't

365
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,000
even SAID i. Yet he was so busy, yelling yelling

366
00:17:58,039 --> 00:18:00,839
at the host THAT i am pretty much met his

367
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,599
dad at the exact same TIME i met. Him and

368
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:08,799
his dad just do you, know just a, sweet sweet. Dude,

369
00:18:09,039 --> 00:18:15,000
uh kind of like a, tough Tough brooklyn. Dude and

370
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,400
and we go and we sit, down and it's so

371
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,880
funny because his energy was just, off And i'm trying

372
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,319
to figure out DO i want to tell you his?

373
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,759
Name DON'T i want? TO i don't want to tell

374
00:18:23,759 --> 00:18:25,359
you his name BECAUSE i don't want people looking at

375
00:18:25,599 --> 00:18:28,279
him Up and that's not like it's just more for

376
00:18:28,319 --> 00:18:33,680
his own. Privacy he's a more private. PERSON i want

377
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,480
to call him Mister, manhattan BUT i. Can't CAN I,

378
00:18:36,559 --> 00:18:39,079
Okay i'm calling him Mister. MANHATTAN i don't. Care maybe that'll,

379
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:43,480
Change maybe it'll change along the. Way i'm so excited

380
00:18:43,519 --> 00:18:46,680
to tell you guys about the sponsors For Talking. SCHMIDT

381
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:52,279
i went after when it sounds LIKE i hunted. Them Oh,

382
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,720
GOD i. Burped that was Die coke that was. Sponsored

383
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:57,839
that burp was sponsored by Dia. Cope this podcast is

384
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:01,319
not NO i went after and it does sound LIKE

385
00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:02,960
i hunted, them AND i kind of. DID i went

386
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,519
after some sponsors THAT i really love And i've been

387
00:19:05,759 --> 00:19:08,480
talking about. Organically SO i just want us all to

388
00:19:08,519 --> 00:19:10,000
be on the same page and get a little bit

389
00:19:10,039 --> 00:19:13,680
of a discount and enjoy What i've been. Enjoying so

390
00:19:13,759 --> 00:19:16,680
our first sponsor is CALLED A life on The lamb

391
00:19:16,759 --> 00:19:21,359
and they are bone broth and aravatic. Aravedic is that

392
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,240
how you say? IT i don't, know but it's bone broth.

393
00:19:24,599 --> 00:19:27,960
Goodness AND i have been using their bone marrow face

394
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,880
fat every single night BEFORE i go to. Bed it

395
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,160
is a. Dream do you smell a little bit like dog.

396
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,880
Chow yes you. Do But i'm telling, YOU i get

397
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,039
more compliments on my skin now THAN i ever have

398
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,000
in my entire. Life and it's because every single Night

399
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,039
i'm using the fat face on my. Face they also

400
00:19:44,079 --> 00:19:47,359
have a body drench oil that is it's not too.

401
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:51,759
Oily it soaks in and it's filled with vitamins and

402
00:19:51,799 --> 00:19:55,319
it makes your skin feel delicious and edible and it

403
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:59,279
doesn't smell the other products of theirs THAT i. Love

404
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:02,960
so they have a buffalo bone broth that is one

405
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:08,559
of the most delicious bone Broths i've ever, had and

406
00:20:08,759 --> 00:20:10,920
for me, PERSONALLY i love to do a bone broth

407
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,559
midday WHEN i want a little something in my stomach

408
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:17,240
like a little salty. Snack it's not a snack because

409
00:20:17,279 --> 00:20:20,920
it is just, liquid but it's filling and it's nourishing

410
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,640
and it makes you feel good and it gives you

411
00:20:24,759 --> 00:20:27,519
nutrients and vitamins and builds you up with all the good.

412
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:31,519
Stuff they also have bone, jelly so bone jelly is

413
00:20:31,559 --> 00:20:34,799
a little, thicker but it does have twenty grams of

414
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:38,599
protein per, cup which is. Crazy SO i don't know

415
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,319
if you're like me and you're a protein girly and

416
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:42,680
you're trying to like squeeze in all your macros and

417
00:20:42,759 --> 00:20:44,599
get all your protein and so that you can stay

418
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,279
strong and. Fit but if you, are even if you're,

419
00:20:47,319 --> 00:20:50,279
not just one cup of bone jelly a day is.

420
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:54,720
Great does wonders for your protein. Intake it's great for,

421
00:20:54,799 --> 00:20:57,960
collagen it's great for hormone, balance it's great for gut.

422
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:01,319
Health it is just. Great SO i want you guys

423
00:21:01,319 --> 00:21:03,480
to go check him. Out they have The Britney bundle

424
00:21:03,559 --> 00:21:06,839
on their, site which is the Face, fat the bone

425
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:10,680
jelly and The buffalo bone. Broth and if you use

426
00:21:10,759 --> 00:21:13,240
the code Britt love's ten it's b R I T

427
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:17,319
t l u V s, ten you will get ten

428
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,039
percent off your first. Order AND i want you to

429
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,200
go do it because it will make your life. Better

430
00:21:23,599 --> 00:21:26,079
so go to A life on the lamb that's a

431
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:29,279
L I F e ON o n t h e

432
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,640
l a m dot. Com use the code Britt love's

433
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,359
ten for ten percent off your first order and think me.

434
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:39,000
Later we, meet we, have we sit for. Dinner but

435
00:21:39,079 --> 00:21:43,559
his energy is LIKE i could feel him right, away

436
00:21:43,759 --> 00:21:47,960
Like i've never really locked into a person. ENERGETICALLY i

437
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,599
can usually tell how people are. FEELING i can read

438
00:21:50,759 --> 00:21:52,720
energy pretty. Well i'm not you, know it's not my

439
00:21:52,759 --> 00:21:55,480
first day on, earth but LIKE i could feel, him

440
00:21:55,559 --> 00:21:57,799
LIKE i could feel he was, tense and he was

441
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,279
uncomfortable AND i think maybe a little, embarrassed and it

442
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,599
was just like it was kind of a strange energy

443
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,519
because we had been having such great chats like on you,

444
00:22:05,559 --> 00:22:08,400
know On hinge and on text and. Everything SO i

445
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,079
JUST i just felt the energy. Shift and you, know

446
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,039
he had a few drinks trying to like loosen. Up

447
00:22:13,079 --> 00:22:16,160
but then his dad kept walking over to the table

448
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:20,079
to talk to, us WHICH i thought was so, funny

449
00:22:20,279 --> 00:22:23,680
but he was really. Uncomfortable but his dad comes over

450
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,720
and he's, like, oh the salmon is fantastic. Tonight you

451
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:30,279
guys gotta try. This it's so. Good he's like DoD

452
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,920
blaslie was. Alone and then this dad walks. Away and

453
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,799
then his dad comes back and he's, like, so how'd

454
00:22:35,799 --> 00:22:38,920
you do? Me And i'm waiting for him to answer

455
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,400
because this isn't my. DAD i don't know this. MAN

456
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:43,960
i don't know this. FAMILY i don't know how good

457
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,440
of a sense of humor they, have you, Know and he's,

458
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:46,880
like how do you guys MEET i wanted to be

459
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,799
like an abortion. Clinic that's how we, met you. Know

460
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,000
but he just was like we met on the. INTERNET

461
00:22:53,079 --> 00:22:55,279
i was, like, yeah we met on hinge and then you,

462
00:22:55,319 --> 00:22:57,759
know it was just it was just. Funny it was

463
00:22:57,759 --> 00:22:59,839
just funny and. Weird but his energy was. Off AND

464
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,680
i had these mushroom chocolates in my purse And i'd

465
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:07,160
never taken them. BEFORE i had a sponsor Called Happy

466
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,920
caps that had sent me a bunch of, stuff and

467
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,039
LIKE i, SAID i hadn't taken mushrooms Since. January BUT

468
00:23:14,079 --> 00:23:15,480
i brought him To New york just in CASE i

469
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,279
wanted to do them in The. Hamptons and so after,

470
00:23:18,319 --> 00:23:21,160
DINNER i was just, like you, KNOW i can feel

471
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:24,400
you're a little rocked by the FACT i just met

472
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:28,359
your whole family on the first. Date BUT i was,

473
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,039
LIKE i have these mushroom. Chocolates do you want to do?

474
00:23:30,079 --> 00:23:32,200
Those and he's, like, yeah, sure that'd be. Cool AND

475
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:34,759
i DIDN'T i didn't know the dosing on. Them i'd

476
00:23:34,799 --> 00:23:37,559
never taken them. Before AND i was, like you, know

477
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,039
one is fun, too is? WOO i don't, know is

478
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,279
what are the rules? Here and SO i gave him

479
00:23:42,319 --> 00:23:47,880
two chocolates AND i then myself also took two AND i,

480
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:50,880
mean they hit us so fast and so, HARD i

481
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,880
felt LIKE i got hit by a freight. Train like

482
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:57,839
his knees started. Wobbling and we got in a car

483
00:23:57,920 --> 00:23:59,759
and we went To, shaymargo which is like this members

484
00:23:59,759 --> 00:24:01,640
club in the. City but we couldn't be around people

485
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:04,279
like we were not we should not have been allowed

486
00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:06,359
in the. Wild so we went to a back room

487
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,359
that was really, dark and then our server came up

488
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,440
to us and he looked like the. Cryptkeeper he looked

489
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,079
like he died two days, ago and he was like

490
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,200
trying to peddle us his. Jewelry it was a very strange.

491
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:19,880
Experience he's filled an espresso martini and his white linen.

492
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:23,119
PANTS i, mean the whole night was a fucking. Mess

493
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,920
but it was fun and it was, easy and he

494
00:24:27,079 --> 00:24:30,240
was easy to be, around AND i just LIKED i

495
00:24:30,319 --> 00:24:32,319
just liked. HIM i just liked. Him it was fun

496
00:24:32,319 --> 00:24:35,880
and cool and easy from the. Start and we ended

497
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,880
up going back to his place and he lives with his,

498
00:24:39,039 --> 00:24:41,960
brother SO i met his, dad his, stepmom and his

499
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,680
brother all in the first. NIGHT i was, Like i'm

500
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:49,440
pretty much in the family. Already and, yeah we went

501
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:50,960
back to his place and we hooked. Up SO i you,

502
00:24:51,039 --> 00:24:53,759
KNOW i dragged intoke advantage of a young younger, man

503
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:58,480
and that is women in men's. Fields that's women in

504
00:24:58,599 --> 00:25:00,599
men's fields right. There. Now we had a great. Night

505
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,400
it was very, sexy very, cool very. Fun BUT i

506
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,400
still was like pretty much under the IMPRESSION i was

507
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,359
not going to see him, again you. KNOW i even

508
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:09,480
when his brother he forgot my name and he asked

509
00:25:09,559 --> 00:25:11,240
me the name, AGAIN i was, like don't Or i'm

510
00:25:11,279 --> 00:25:13,640
just blowing, through like you're not going to see me.

511
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:18,559
Again AND i had a really nice, night AND i

512
00:25:18,599 --> 00:25:20,799
broke my. RULE i usually do not spend the night

513
00:25:20,839 --> 00:25:25,720
at guys', houses not even just on the first. Date

514
00:25:25,799 --> 00:25:27,839
LIKE i really don't like to, sleep not in the

515
00:25:27,839 --> 00:25:29,519
bed That i'm supposed to be, sleeping AND i really

516
00:25:29,519 --> 00:25:31,640
wanted to go back to the to the hotel and,

517
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,440
sleep but there was just something really nice and really

518
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:38,119
comfortable about him and meeting, him and it was easy

519
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,000
and he's like one of the funniest People i've ever

520
00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:42,920
met in my. Life and he's just like really sexy and,

521
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:46,039
cool and, yeah we had a great. Time and then

522
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:48,200
the next, MORNING i was, like all, right, Well i'll

523
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:52,319
see you, later and he he just texted me right.

524
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,880
AWAY i don't even THINK i got three blocks away

525
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:59,200
from his place before he texted. Me and he's just

526
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:03,920
been wonderful ever, since like the most consistent, communicator the,

527
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,000
funniest the, kindest the most. Thoughtful like he's just fucking.

528
00:26:07,039 --> 00:26:13,240
Great and he's like he comes out da da, Da,

529
00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:18,160
No i'm just. Kidding. Yeah so it's just that it was,

530
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:20,359
Amazing like what a. Gift AND i also, think you,

531
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:24,000
know that was another exchange from the universe energetically where

532
00:26:24,079 --> 00:26:28,000
some things had ended and needed to. End and ONCE

533
00:26:28,039 --> 00:26:31,640
i wasn't giving all of my energy to something outside of,

534
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:34,920
myself it WAS i was able to attract something that

535
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,079
required my energy in a in a more positive. Way

536
00:26:38,279 --> 00:26:44,519
and you, KNOW i it's it's been a really interesting.

537
00:26:44,559 --> 00:26:47,279
Relationship it's different than any Relationship i've ever had in

538
00:26:47,319 --> 00:26:49,920
my life. Before he lives In New. YORK i live

539
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:55,240
IN La maybe there's maybe maybe that's not, forever and

540
00:26:55,279 --> 00:26:57,920
by MAYBE i mean. Definitely AND i do have plans

541
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,640
to tell you guys what's happening, next But i'm not

542
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:01,359
going to do that this. EPISODE i can't blow my

543
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:05,920
whole load in the First Welcome back. Episode but, yeah

544
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,279
he you, know we really like. Synced we synced up

545
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:14,519
and he's just really. Wonderful and he told me about this.

546
00:27:14,559 --> 00:27:18,640
Theory he told me about this, theory WHICH i really

547
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,599
like AND i want to repeat to you. Guys this

548
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,079
theory is called the red string. Theory it is An

549
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:25,880
East asian belief that an invisible red thread connects two

550
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,119
people who are destined to me regardless of, place, time or.

551
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,920
Circumstance this string may stretch and, tangle but it will never,

552
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,319
break ensuring that if you're meant to be, together you

553
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,400
will be. Together AND i love, that you, Know i'm

554
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,480
a little woo woo AND i love that. Shit and

555
00:27:38,599 --> 00:27:43,920
he sent it to me And mike AND i broke

556
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:45,839
your heart and said that was told to him by

557
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:53,519
his last. Girlfriend mike ruined my. Life, No i'm just.

558
00:27:53,599 --> 00:27:56,079
Kidding mike was, like he definitely read that from another,

559
00:27:56,119 --> 00:28:00,240
bitch AND i was, like, oh he's, young, TikTok who knows. Y, Yeah,

560
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,519
no it was another it was another. Bitch it was.

561
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,960
Definitely it was definitely another. Bitch And i'll fucking get.

562
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,200
Her i'll find. Her All hunter. Down oh my, god

563
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,519
speaking of, which we me And rena did the most,

564
00:28:11,599 --> 00:28:18,200
unhinged most unhinged thing. Ever AND i really want to say,

565
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:19,839
it BUT i don't know IF i, should BUT i

566
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:27,039
want Whatever i'm going. To you, know, listen we're. Girls

567
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,119
we like to know what the exes look. Like we

568
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,440
like to know what they're up. To we like to

569
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:35,480
make sure they're not within five hundred square feet of our.

570
00:28:35,599 --> 00:28:40,960
Man we treat ex girlfriends like grade schools treat sexual,

571
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,960
predators right like there needs to be an invisible line

572
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,519
that nobody can cross to get to our fucking, man

573
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,599
especially in the. Beginning you, know at the beginning of

574
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:50,880
the relationship is where you're, like stay the fuck away

575
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,440
from my, man and then you're a few years and you're,

576
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:58,480
like take, him, somebody take. Him. No but me And

577
00:28:58,519 --> 00:29:00,839
rena did something unhinged and we looked up one of

578
00:29:00,839 --> 00:29:04,480
the exes and then her profile is, private BUT i

579
00:29:04,599 --> 00:29:08,960
needed more, information AND i was, LIKE i obviously can't follow,

580
00:29:09,079 --> 00:29:14,920
her But rina. Can And rina is. Famous rita's. Famous

581
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:20,000
she has a big following on social, media and she's objectively.

582
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,440
FAMOUS a lot of people know who she. Is And

583
00:29:22,559 --> 00:29:26,319
riina being the true gee she, Is she goes and, follows,

584
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:30,000
follows and the girl accepts. Immediately we let. That what

585
00:29:30,119 --> 00:29:33,519
we didn't realize we had done was that we already

586
00:29:33,519 --> 00:29:39,680
had pictures of her AND i on her story in his.

587
00:29:39,839 --> 00:29:47,519
Speaker 2: Apartment so we went off the deep end trying to

588
00:29:47,599 --> 00:29:50,880
sneaky stock of this, hoe and she probably clocked us so.

589
00:29:51,119 --> 00:29:55,799
Speaker 1: Fast go, Ahead, MIKE i see you cueing. Up what

590
00:29:55,839 --> 00:30:03,680
are you? Doing you grabbed the? Mine? No, oh so, anyway,

591
00:30:03,839 --> 00:30:07,559
listen we're LIKE i think all, girlfriends ex, girlfriends all

592
00:30:07,599 --> 00:30:10,039
of us were like The Spider man meme of like

593
00:30:10,079 --> 00:30:12,119
who can be crazier and not let it? Sho Like

594
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,160
i'm trying to tuck my crazy in right, now but

595
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:20,480
sometimes it fucking flies out AND i can't help. It but, yeah,

596
00:30:20,559 --> 00:30:22,480
No and here's the. THING i have a new theory

597
00:30:22,519 --> 00:30:26,240
about ex girlfriends. Too ex, girlfriends ex, wives ex, partners

598
00:30:26,279 --> 00:30:29,079
all of. It there's this instinct in us THAT i

599
00:30:29,119 --> 00:30:31,359
don't know what it. Is it's hardwired BECAUSE i can't

600
00:30:31,359 --> 00:30:33,240
get rid of. It no matter how much Therapy i've,

601
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,200
done no matter how MUCH i, aahuasca no matter how

602
00:30:35,279 --> 00:30:37,519
Much i've talked To god or seen The, LORD i

603
00:30:37,519 --> 00:30:39,440
can't get rid of the fact, that, like WHEN i

604
00:30:39,599 --> 00:30:43,400
get into a new, RELATIONSHIP i want to fistfight the.

605
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,839
Exes i'm, LIKE i want to knock you down and

606
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,359
make sure THAT i don't ever fucking see or hear

607
00:30:49,359 --> 00:30:52,039
from you. Again BUT i was thinking about this the other,

608
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,880
night AND i was, like shouldn't we all be, Talking,

609
00:30:55,519 --> 00:31:00,279
like shouldn't we all have little mini conferences but before

610
00:31:00,319 --> 00:31:02,960
we get into a relationship with someone and just be, like,

611
00:31:03,039 --> 00:31:06,240
hey what were your speed? Bumps what were the red

612
00:31:06,279 --> 00:31:09,680
flags that you? Saw because right now my blinders are

613
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:11,839
on And i'm. Digmatized BUT i would like you to

614
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,160
tell me what down the ROAD i might be able to.

615
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:17,640
EXPECT i think there's a whole website that girls made

616
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:21,160
that was all about like putting up like your past

617
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,200
dates or past stuff about. Guys, yes, yeah so that

618
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,680
is to get. GIRLS i forget what it's. Called could

619
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:30,039
you maybe google that you don't have a computer in

620
00:31:30,079 --> 00:31:33,319
front of, you you have a. Phone there is definitely

621
00:31:33,359 --> 00:31:36,640
a site where girls like rat guys out for bad

622
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:40,039
behaviors so that you don't eventually also date. Them BUT

623
00:31:40,119 --> 00:31:43,880
i think this is, Different LIKE i don't necessarily Listen

624
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,160
i'm already dating, him that's my. Mother like a man

625
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,160
that's my, BOYFRIEND i will go to war for. Him

626
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,960
BUT i feel like just a pow wow would be,

627
00:31:52,079 --> 00:31:55,359
nice you. Know, like And i'm the perfect example BECAUSE

628
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:59,119
i was such a vicious cunt to my first husband's ex,

629
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,039
wife was, like fuck, you fuck, This how could you do?

630
00:32:02,079 --> 00:32:05,160
That how could you bub blah bah ba ba, Ba

631
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,759
LIKE i just went off on her and to her

632
00:32:08,839 --> 00:32:12,880
email by the, way to her e. FACE i went

633
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,240
off on that. Bitch but WHAT i should have done

634
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:17,680
is sat down with her and had a coffee and been, like,

635
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:21,759
hey tell me what the struggles, were what really, happened

636
00:32:21,799 --> 00:32:23,799
SO i could have been a little more. PREPARED i

637
00:32:23,799 --> 00:32:27,000
think it was the t. App the t app that makes. Sense,

638
00:32:27,079 --> 00:32:30,519
okay so, listen if you need to warn someone about

639
00:32:30,559 --> 00:32:33,119
a man that's acting, up go to the t app

640
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,119
and do. That BUT i think this is a new

641
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,400
app that me And mike are going to create. Together

642
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:40,119
actually it's not an. App IT'S i just need to

643
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:42,079
dm a home and be, like, hey baby, girl what

644
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,640
the fuck went down? Here because this is the STORY i.

645
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:48,640
Got and you, know every time you get there's three

646
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,559
sides to every, story, right there's my, side their, side

647
00:32:52,599 --> 00:32:57,400
and the, truth and we all like our whole life

648
00:32:57,559 --> 00:33:00,920
is just how we interpreted. It it's not actually what's.

649
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:04,599
Happening that's woo, woo and that's for another. Time but, like,

650
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:08,519
truly our life is a series of interpretations that are

651
00:33:08,559 --> 00:33:11,799
misinterpreted and then repeated until the end of. Time so,

652
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:13,920
Like i'm aware that like half the things THAT i

653
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:17,440
think happened to me probably. Didn't in That i'm aware,

654
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,559
that you, know WHEN i was a younger comedian AND

655
00:33:20,599 --> 00:33:22,079
i thought it was the best thing in the. Room

656
00:33:22,519 --> 00:33:25,279
WHEN i was a brand new, comedian, LITERALLY i did

657
00:33:25,319 --> 00:33:29,039
my first, set seven minute, set AND i went To Marlon,

658
00:33:29,119 --> 00:33:32,160
wayans Who i've been friends with SINCE i was, nineteen

659
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,720
AND i, said take me on the, road put me

660
00:33:34,759 --> 00:33:38,240
in a. Movie i'm ready for the big. TIME i

661
00:33:38,279 --> 00:33:40,079
watched that set back And i'm, like, girl you should

662
00:33:40,119 --> 00:33:42,880
have taken twelve, seats sat the fuck, down and never

663
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:45,640
honestly probably ever got on stage. Again but it's, LIKE

664
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:49,480
i think we have this delusion that were better than

665
00:33:49,519 --> 00:33:52,319
we are in every single situation we're. In AND i

666
00:33:52,319 --> 00:33:55,359
don't really exactly remember HOW i got to this. THOUGHT

667
00:33:55,359 --> 00:33:57,279
i was talking about exes and ex girlfriends and me

668
00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:00,440
being crazy and me And rana doing really really really,

669
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:04,680
horrible really horrible. Sneakop we did a really bad sneak.

670
00:34:04,759 --> 00:34:11,400
Up but, LISTEN i, UH i got a motherfucking, man

671
00:34:11,599 --> 00:34:15,119
and that's pretty. EXCITING i love when things happen, accidentally

672
00:34:15,159 --> 00:34:19,199
like wonderful things happened by accident BECAUSE i was, ready you,

673
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:22,679
KNOW i was really really really ready for meaningful partnership

674
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,039
AND i had been seeking it. Out BUT i think

675
00:34:25,079 --> 00:34:27,920
that's the. PROBLEM i think when you're actively seeking something,

676
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:33,119
out it's, like stay away from, me crazy. Lade but

677
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:36,559
now WHEN i was In New york AND i just was,

678
00:34:36,599 --> 00:34:40,199
Like i'm just gonna fuck a young, guy, which by the,

679
00:34:40,199 --> 00:34:42,360
WAY i FEEL i feel like such an, old like

680
00:34:42,559 --> 00:34:45,199
lecherous man When i'm like describing him to, people And i'm,

681
00:34:45,199 --> 00:34:47,000
like don't, worry he's got an old, soul you, know

682
00:34:47,519 --> 00:34:50,159
like he was raised and he was raised In, mann

683
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:53,400
so he's like an old twenty. Seven BUT i also,

684
00:34:53,519 --> 00:34:56,639
think like there is a certain. Age, no it really

685
00:34:56,639 --> 00:34:58,119
doesn't have to do with. Age it has to do

686
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:00,719
with you and your soul and how you and all of.

687
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,719
That age is really just a. Number my ex husband

688
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:09,320
was older than, me you, know according to, numbers and that's.

689
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,920
It you, KNOW i did a lot of teaching in that.

690
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:16,400
Household but he was you, know he was infinitely better

691
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:19,320
than me in a lot of, ways but not you,

692
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,159
know just there's a there's a maturity that comes with,

693
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:24,800
age and it also can come with like living IN

694
00:35:25,039 --> 00:35:28,960
i Think New York, city that's, UH i don't. Know

695
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,960
it's a tough life. There Like i'm there for five

696
00:35:32,039 --> 00:35:34,159
days AND i feel Like i'm twelve years. Older i'm,

697
00:35:34,159 --> 00:35:36,280
Like i'm not. Herod every TIME i go, THERE i start,

698
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:39,719
vaping starts smoking. Cigarettes i'm, like, LIKE i get any

699
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:41,440
endle the stress of just like walking out the. Door

700
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,679
biggie fucking hates, it but he does not Like New.

701
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:47,320
York so thank god we're not moving, there you. Guys

702
00:35:47,679 --> 00:35:50,239
i'm so, so, so so so excited to tell you

703
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:53,360
about this next sponsor right. Now DO i have fake?

704
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:56,440
Here and YES i. Do but for those of you

705
00:35:56,639 --> 00:36:00,639
who've followed me or the old podcast or whatever you

706
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:04,360
know about the crisis that was my hair loss after

707
00:36:04,559 --> 00:36:09,239
extensions In, FEBRUARY i have never felt more low in

708
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:12,199
my life than WHEN i lost all of my hair

709
00:36:12,559 --> 00:36:15,039
AND i had four hairs on my, head AND i

710
00:36:15,119 --> 00:36:20,400
looked a little bit, like what's his? Name Not? Chucky

711
00:36:20,599 --> 00:36:23,239
who's the little rascal that had like two not little,

712
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:28,679
rascal the, alfalfa, alfalfa thank. YOU i looked a little

713
00:36:28,679 --> 00:36:32,079
bit like. ALFALFA i was devastated WHEN i lost my

714
00:36:32,159 --> 00:36:34,880
hair AND i couldn't figure anything. Out there was one

715
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:39,880
POINT i paid three thousand dollars to get exisomes exosome

716
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,800
therapy treatment In Beverly, hills and THEN i read that

717
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,159
it's illegal and it doesn't even, work AND i was,

718
00:36:45,199 --> 00:36:47,840
like oh, no that's fucking, Cool LIKE i love, that that's.

719
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:51,639
Great but WHAT i did find that has worked Wonders

720
00:36:51,679 --> 00:36:54,679
AND i will show, you, guys not next, episode but

721
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:57,559
one of them, soon how thick and healthy my hair.

722
00:36:57,639 --> 00:37:01,159
Is It's berber hair, oil you. Guys they are on

723
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:06,320
the cutting edge of hair, growth hair, strengthening hair making it.

724
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:09,440
AMAZING i really cannot say enough good things About berber hair.

725
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:12,360
Ooil you do the derma roller twice a, week oil,

726
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:15,079
treatment leave it in. Overnight you do oil on the,

727
00:37:15,119 --> 00:37:19,039
scalp massage, it rub it, in you do one two little,

728
00:37:19,079 --> 00:37:21,800
pumps put it on the rest of your. Hair you

729
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:24,639
brush it with one of Their mermaid. Brushes you put

730
00:37:24,639 --> 00:37:27,360
it back in a tight ponytail and leave it in

731
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:31,800
overnight and let the magic. Happen i'm not kidding, you you.

732
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,480
Guys my hair is healthier and stronger than it's ever.

733
00:37:34,519 --> 00:37:37,880
Been it's not one hundred percent back, still but it's getting.

734
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,639
There and once it gets, there it's gonna go past

735
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:42,719
there Because i'm going to keep using this till the

736
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,039
end of time UNTIL i have the, healthiest strongest hair

737
00:37:45,199 --> 00:37:47,119
in all of the. World And i'm pretty much rapunzel

738
00:37:47,119 --> 00:37:49,480
it AND i could throw it out of a window

739
00:37:49,639 --> 00:37:51,360
and you guys could all climb up and come say.

740
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:55,280
Hi So Burber hairoil is. Amazing go To berber dot,

741
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:59,599
com which is burbur dot com and use the code

742
00:37:59,679 --> 00:38:02,760
brit b r T t for fifteen percent off your first.

743
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,239
Order this is truly a game, changer you. GUYS i

744
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:06,800
really want you to love it as much AS i.

745
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:09,760
Do there's it's never going to leave my. LIFE i

746
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:12,599
also use it on my. Boyfriend you can do little

747
00:38:12,599 --> 00:38:16,840
haroil treatments on your man if he's acting, right and

748
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,159
then if he's, not you withhold them and then he

749
00:38:19,159 --> 00:38:21,119
doesn't get, them and then he's sad and he knows

750
00:38:21,119 --> 00:38:23,679
he was acting. Up, okay you, GUYS i love. You

751
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,039
go check Out burber dot. Com It's burber dot com

752
00:38:26,079 --> 00:38:28,760
code brit bri T t for fifteen percent off your first.

753
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:33,400
Order go get. It on that, note speaking of speaking of, mom,

754
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,800
man uh, SORRY i PROMISE i won't be this annoying

755
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:39,679
like my. Man my m am is like a. Bitch shut. Up, no,

756
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:43,079
listen it's still. Early everything could go tits. Up it,

757
00:38:43,119 --> 00:38:47,679
won't but it. Could it. Might stay, tuned you will see.

758
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:51,599
MORE i just want to say never say. NEVER i

759
00:38:51,639 --> 00:38:53,360
need to say. That i'm not even saying that to, you.

760
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:55,880
Guys i'm saying it to me BECAUSE i need to

761
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,599
remember to never say, never because every single TIME i say,

762
00:38:58,599 --> 00:39:01,159
NEVER i swear, it it's an ex on your back

763
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:03,760
for the universe to fuck you up and give you that. Never.

764
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:07,000
Like WHEN i was, younger my parents had a really,

765
00:39:07,079 --> 00:39:10,840
really really, tumultuous gnarly acrimonious. Divorce it was, very very.

766
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:14,159
Bad and can you guys Tell i've been reading the

767
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:19,960
dictionary this. Summer acrimonious. Tumultuous isn't that impressive acrimonious. Girl,

768
00:39:20,079 --> 00:39:22,559
OKAY i want to bring backward of the. Week fuck you.

769
00:39:22,559 --> 00:39:24,519
Guys you didn't like, It i'm bringing it. Back we

770
00:39:24,559 --> 00:39:27,920
all need to have better. Vocabulary it's, sexy it truly.

771
00:39:28,039 --> 00:39:31,840
Is that's a HILL i will die. On but. No

772
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,760
my parents' divorce was. Gnarly it lasted seven. Years they

773
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,840
lost not, everything but fucking close to. It you, know

774
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:41,320
they like they had a bunch of, property that all these,

775
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,159
houses it was all. Gone it was just like me

776
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,679
riding around on a sad fucking pony that was about

777
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,559
to get. REPOED i just didn't want. It it didn't

778
00:39:48,639 --> 00:39:52,280
it seemed like if that could be what happens after.

779
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:55,039
MARRIAGE i didn't want to get, married SO i always,

780
00:39:55,039 --> 00:39:56,679
Said i'll never get. Married i'll never get. Married i'll

781
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:58,480
never get. Married i'll never get, Married i'll never Get and,

782
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,679
YEAH i get, married AND i got. MARRIED i was,

783
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:02,360
Like i'll never get. Divorced i'll never get. Divorced i'll

784
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:03,880
never get. Divorced i'm not gonna be like my. Parents

785
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:05,480
i'm not gonna feel like my. Parents i'm better than my.

786
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:07,480
Parents i'm smarter than my, Parents i'm more educated than my.

787
00:40:07,519 --> 00:40:11,320
PARENTS i have more money than my. PARENTS i got fucking, divorced,

788
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:14,360
okay and then WHEN i got, DIVORCED i was, Like

789
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:19,440
i'll never date A. Gemini i'll, never, ever ever ever Dated.

790
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,400
Gemini THAT i went on the fucking podcast and, Said

791
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:25,000
i'll never do. It Fuck Gemini's Fuck gemini. Men they're

792
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,039
the scariest People i've ever. Met i've always said About.

793
00:40:27,039 --> 00:40:31,880
Geminis geminis are they have two. Personalities one of them's

794
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:37,880
an asshole and that's the nice. One and, uh my

795
00:40:38,639 --> 00:40:42,920
dad is proving to be. True My gemini boyfriend has

796
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:46,199
about twenty seven, personalities and, listen you never know which

797
00:40:46,199 --> 00:40:48,039
one you're gonna. Get it always keeps me on my.

798
00:40:48,119 --> 00:40:52,159
Toes BUT i will say, This, listen you, Know mama

799
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:55,000
kinda loves an. Asshole it's a little, hot, Right it's

800
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,199
a little hot when someone pushes. BACK i just can't

801
00:40:57,239 --> 00:40:59,840
have someone bending over all the. Time it's not there's no. Challenge.

802
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,039
NEED i need a little bit of what he's, got

803
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,719
and sometimes he gives me a little too much of

804
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:08,800
what he's, got and uh Then i'm, like reel it

805
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:11,280
back BEFORE i start fucking, crying you, know reel it

806
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,119
in a little Bit i'm, LIKE i can go back

807
00:41:13,119 --> 00:41:14,400
and forth and back and, forth and Then i'll hit

808
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,719
it and then it's just Like i'm gonna cry. Now, no,

809
00:41:18,159 --> 00:41:20,440
No i'm gonna start. Crying. NO i love jousting in a.

810
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:23,599
Relationship roasting is my love. Language being mean to people

811
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:26,039
is my love. Language like If i'm an asshole to,

812
00:41:26,079 --> 00:41:28,199
you that finally MEANS i trust you enough to take

813
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:30,840
my jokes and know that they're, jokes and that LIKE

814
00:41:31,119 --> 00:41:34,639
i love. You me saying you look like a fucking

815
00:41:34,639 --> 00:41:39,000
idiot in that shirt is me saying, LIKE i love

816
00:41:39,039 --> 00:41:41,320
you to the moon and. BACK i love you so fucking.

817
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:45,400
Much LIKE i, really really really love to roast. People

818
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:47,039
and we can go back and forth and we can

819
00:41:47,079 --> 00:41:50,159
go tip for tat and he is fucking, funny but

820
00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:53,239
he can get mean and THEN i cry and THEN i.

821
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,960
Cry and here's the other thing about being in a new.

822
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,400
Relationship it's challenged me in a lot of. WAYS i

823
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:00,360
was single for a long. TIME i was singing for

824
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:06,559
almost three. Years, wait, no, yeah it's three years In

825
00:42:07,119 --> 00:42:11,239
it was three years In september SINCE i had filed for.

826
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:13,559
Divorce so it was a long time to be by

827
00:42:13,559 --> 00:42:16,719
myself and here's the. Thing being by yourself makes you really,

828
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:19,039
strong makes you really, tough it makes you really self.

829
00:42:19,079 --> 00:42:22,519
Reliant AND i think there's so many truly wonderful things

830
00:42:22,519 --> 00:42:26,480
about being. ALONE i love being. SINGLE i have always

831
00:42:26,519 --> 00:42:29,159
loved being, single even WHEN i was younger and girls

832
00:42:29,159 --> 00:42:31,719
were dating boys and they were you, know everyone was

833
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:34,239
like falling in. Love, REALLY i really didn't mind being.

834
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:37,360
Alone AND i was single for all intents and purposes

835
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:40,360
until my, marriage and then after my MARRIAGE i was

836
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:43,679
single for all intents and purposes for nearly three. Years

837
00:42:44,079 --> 00:42:47,320
AND i love. INDEPENDENCE i love not answering to. ANYONE

838
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:48,880
i love going to bed WHEN i. WANT i love

839
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:50,800
waking up WHEN i. WANT i love eating WHAT i

840
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:52,760
want WHEN i. WANT i love not having a man,

841
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:54,960
around asking AM i? Hungry DO i? Need?

842
00:42:55,079 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 2: All?

843
00:42:55,679 --> 00:43:00,639
Speaker 1: LIKE i like the freedom of being in. DEPENDENT i

844
00:43:00,679 --> 00:43:04,360
would say one of the cons to being single for

845
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:07,559
so long is the only person checking on you as

846
00:43:07,639 --> 00:43:10,840
you and you don't have anyone really to help you

847
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,960
regulate your, emotions and SO i feel, like you, know

848
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,480
you rely a lot on. FRIENDSHIPS i think female friendship

849
00:43:16,519 --> 00:43:19,480
saved my life in you, know being. Single BUT i

850
00:43:19,519 --> 00:43:25,880
will also say you almost have like this well built

851
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:30,880
up inside of you of, emotion and like every time

852
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:33,840
your feelings were hurt and nobody was around to, care

853
00:43:34,079 --> 00:43:37,880
that's still in. There every time you dropped a jar

854
00:43:38,079 --> 00:43:41,840
Of marranara sauce in the kitchen and it exploded glass

855
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:45,039
and maranara sauce, everywhere and no one was there to help,

856
00:43:45,119 --> 00:43:47,639
you and no one was there to even laugh at

857
00:43:47,639 --> 00:43:51,119
you or or just make the situation a little bit.

858
00:43:51,159 --> 00:43:55,000
Lighter that's inside of. You every single time you stubbed

859
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,960
your toe and broke your fuck it shattered your pinky

860
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,679
toe and you just had to sit there and writhe

861
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:03,920
in pain on the floor by, yourself and no one was.

862
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,719
There that's inside of. You so What i've found about

863
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:11,199
being in this new relationship is that things can be,

864
00:44:11,239 --> 00:44:14,639
fine things can be. Great and, he'll you, know he'll

865
00:44:14,679 --> 00:44:17,079
ask me like are you? Good is everything? Okay And i'm, like, yeah,

866
00:44:17,119 --> 00:44:19,519
No i'm, Good and then he'll ask again and it's

867
00:44:19,559 --> 00:44:21,440
a little, bit you, know and he'll ask again because

868
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:24,960
something maybe is slightly, off something slightly, off slightly, Off

869
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:28,840
it could be slightly fucking. Off LIKE i don't, KNOW

870
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,599
i wanted just silence to meditate AND i could hear

871
00:44:31,679 --> 00:44:34,719
him on in the in the other room where he's

872
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:36,360
supposed to be talking on the, button And i'm just,

873
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,400
like and he's, like is everything? Okay and then it's

874
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:41,760
like a kid when you ask a, kid you, know

875
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:43,559
a kid falls down on the playground and they get

876
00:44:43,639 --> 00:44:45,000
up and they're, fine and then you ask them ten

877
00:44:45,039 --> 00:44:48,320
times if they're, okay and then they start sobbing. Uncontrollably

878
00:44:48,639 --> 00:44:51,000
that's HOW i feel in this, relationship like every time

879
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:54,719
something slightly, off and he's really good with my, energy

880
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:56,719
he can sense, me he knows if anything's like even

881
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,679
a little bit, OFF i have all of this shit come,

882
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:02,239
up And i'm, like this has nothing to do with.

883
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:05,920
You this is about a guy From, january a guy

884
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,559
who ghosted me In january that had a perm you,

885
00:45:08,599 --> 00:45:12,000
know like this is this is something completely. Different So

886
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:15,239
i've been working on managing my emotions and making Sure

887
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:19,599
i'm having the appropriate, action the appropriate reaction to things

888
00:45:19,599 --> 00:45:21,800
that are happening within our relationship and not letting like

889
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:25,559
the well of all of my feelings come out because

890
00:45:25,559 --> 00:45:28,039
that's not appropriate and it's not even his. Fault he

891
00:45:28,079 --> 00:45:32,679
wasn't even around for that. Yet oh my. God, anyway

892
00:45:32,679 --> 00:45:34,480
this episode is not brought to you by diet, coke

893
00:45:34,519 --> 00:45:45,360
but it should. Be, OKAY i all that to say

894
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:49,960
all that to say this relationship has been bringing up a.

895
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,000
Lot there's a lot of, emotions there's a lot of,

896
00:45:52,159 --> 00:45:54,800
things there's a lot of old, stuff there's a lot

897
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,360
of old patterns that are coming. Forward and it's LIKE

898
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,599
i sort of get exhausted Because i'm, like how fucking

899
00:46:00,639 --> 00:46:02,679
long AM i gonna do this? For? Like how much

900
00:46:02,679 --> 00:46:04,400
work DO i have to do on? Myself how many

901
00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:06,039
times DO i have to go to? Therapy how many

902
00:46:06,039 --> 00:46:07,400
times DO i have to talk to my? Sponsor how

903
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:09,000
many times DO i have to do in your child?

904
00:46:09,039 --> 00:46:11,480
Work how many times DO i have to attempt to

905
00:46:11,559 --> 00:46:14,840
love myself to not show up as an, insecure fucking

906
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:18,079
maniac in this? Relationship and the truth, IS i don't.

907
00:46:18,119 --> 00:46:20,159
KNOW i have no. IDEA i have no idea if

908
00:46:20,199 --> 00:46:22,199
there's even a version of myself that can show up

909
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:24,920
in an early relationship WHERE i feel really fucking strong

910
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:29,400
feelings and not be terrified because my view of love is.

911
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:31,960
Chaos my view of love is also that it always

912
00:46:32,039 --> 00:46:34,480
leaves and it's always, fleeting And i'm always afraid for

913
00:46:34,519 --> 00:46:38,559
the next shoe to. Drop AND i spent three fucking

914
00:46:38,639 --> 00:46:41,199
years working on, myself working on my, codependence working on

915
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:44,400
my sex and love, addiction working on everything that makes

916
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:48,079
me the WAY i. Am that's, imperfect and like we're

917
00:46:48,079 --> 00:46:50,159
all going to be imperfect forever till the end of.

918
00:46:50,199 --> 00:46:51,880
Time BUT i want to be as close AS i

919
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:55,800
can to peaceful and self fulfilled and love myself and

920
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:58,360
all that shit that's like so corny to even say out.

921
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:00,679
LOUD i really want that for my so THAT i

922
00:47:00,679 --> 00:47:03,920
can show up into a relationship as a, peaceful calm.

923
00:47:04,039 --> 00:47:07,639
Presence but this relationship has been a little challenging for,

924
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:11,599
that especially because it's long, distance and long distance relationships

925
00:47:11,599 --> 00:47:13,880
are insane because you have to trust somebody across the

926
00:47:14,079 --> 00:47:17,320
like trusting someone but that's sitting in your living room is.

927
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:20,960
Hard they could be on their phone talking to fucking porn.

928
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:24,039
Stars like you never know what anyone's, doing even if

929
00:47:24,039 --> 00:47:26,079
they're right under your. Nose the truth of the matter

930
00:47:26,119 --> 00:47:28,360
is people are very, secretive and you, know we all

931
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:31,039
we all have secrets and we're all a little bit,

932
00:47:31,039 --> 00:47:34,719
SHADY i, Think and so for, me the trust has been,

933
00:47:36,119 --> 00:47:39,159
tough but it's no fault of his like he has

934
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:42,519
been nothing but. Somebody he has shown me nothing but

935
00:47:42,679 --> 00:47:47,239
somebody who is a, constant kind, communicator somebody who shows

936
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:50,559
up for me all the, time and he's given me

937
00:47:50,639 --> 00:47:52,480
no reason to not trust. HIM i just have some

938
00:47:52,519 --> 00:47:56,039
like deep seated issues and they come, up and that's really,

939
00:47:56,079 --> 00:47:58,119
sucks because, like falling in love is the best thing

940
00:47:58,199 --> 00:48:02,039
in the, world and it being tainted with these emotions of,

941
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:04,480
well what is he? Doing who is?

942
00:48:04,519 --> 00:48:04,880
Speaker 2: He yut? With?

943
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:08,000
Speaker 1: Heho is she all fucking? Killer like that shit is

944
00:48:08,039 --> 00:48:10,480
so exhausting to. Me i'm so sick of. It it

945
00:48:10,519 --> 00:48:12,559
hasn't gone, Away SO i Don't if anyone who has

946
00:48:12,559 --> 00:48:14,880
a cure for, that aside From La loave, bottomy let me.

947
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:20,679
Know but, yeah it's just Been it's been a, lot a,

948
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:23,960
lot a lot of stuff coming, up but also like really.

949
00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:26,920
Fun our third date because we don't live in the same.

950
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:29,320
City our first date was In New, york our, second

951
00:48:29,519 --> 00:48:32,519
like weekend chunk we spent together was In la our

952
00:48:32,559 --> 00:48:37,159
third date was In. Paris we just have this really,

953
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:41,719
fun big Life and, YEAH i mean it's still at

954
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:44,679
the beginning. Phases we've only been together for four and

955
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:47,400
a half, months maybe five, MONTHS i don't, know whatever.

956
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:49,440
MONTH i don't. Know we got together in the middle Of,

957
00:48:49,519 --> 00:48:53,159
june whatever the timing on that. Is but, yeah it,

958
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:57,280
uh it's been really. Fun Doing paris with someone again

959
00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:01,360
has been not to say, again but like you, know

960
00:49:01,679 --> 00:49:03,880
There's paris is such a romantic, city and when you

961
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:06,079
go there with one person or one, partner it's hard

962
00:49:06,119 --> 00:49:08,000
to not go back and feel haunted by like a

963
00:49:08,079 --> 00:49:10,920
relationship that. Ended and going back To paris with him

964
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:12,840
and going to new restaurants and seeing new, things it

965
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:14,920
all was like it was just really fun and really

966
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:18,800
fulfilling and really. Wonderful, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Yeah, okay

967
00:49:19,199 --> 00:49:22,599
Now i'm going to get to what was the most

968
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:26,800
challenging part of my summer and one of the more

969
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:31,880
challenging Things i've ever just. Experienced. Ever, so while we're In,

970
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:34,719
paris and while we're, gallivanting and while life is feeling

971
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:38,119
really good and, wonderful something simultaneously is going on that

972
00:49:38,159 --> 00:49:43,280
feels really bad and dark and, scary AND i felt very.

973
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:47,320
Helpless so for those of you who listened to my last,

974
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:50,840
podcast you may have heard me talk About. Sylvan sylvan

975
00:49:51,199 --> 00:49:55,880
is a healer and a psychic and he works with

976
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:59,480
a bunch of, celebrities AND i pretty much knocked my

977
00:49:59,519 --> 00:50:01,519
way in to see, him even though he has a

978
00:50:01,559 --> 00:50:04,559
really long waiting. List he's apparently just this phenom of a.

979
00:50:04,599 --> 00:50:09,360
Person AND i went to go see him and he

980
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:11,960
said to me three times during our session that my

981
00:50:12,039 --> 00:50:15,119
dad needed to get his heart. Checked AND i called

982
00:50:15,119 --> 00:50:17,480
my dad AND i told him that right, away and he's, like,

983
00:50:17,599 --> 00:50:20,800
yeah you, Know i'm doing. Great i've been playing. BASEBALL

984
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:22,920
i feel healthier than, Ever Like i'm really really. Good

985
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:24,400
AND i was, like, okay, cool could you just go

986
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:27,599
get your heart? Checked AND i want everyone to know

987
00:50:27,639 --> 00:50:31,280
about this heart. Test it's called a calcium heart, scan

988
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:35,679
and it will scan for calcium build up levels in your.

989
00:50:35,679 --> 00:50:39,440
Heart and it In. Wisconsin it's forty nine dollars to

990
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:42,719
go get it At. Aurora it's super, cheap and it

991
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:46,119
is the number one preventor of heart attacks for anyone you,

992
00:50:46,199 --> 00:50:48,400
love anyone over a certain. AGE i don't know what

993
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:50,119
the age. IS i think it's like fifty five for,

994
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:53,400
men and it's actually lower for women because women are

995
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:56,480
actually at a higher risk of heart attacks than. MEN

996
00:50:57,039 --> 00:50:59,440
i think we think traditionally like they drink and eat

997
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:02,119
more so you know that the heart's gonna give out.

998
00:51:02,199 --> 00:51:05,440
Quicker but just historically women have more heart issues than,

999
00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:08,960
men so women go get. Checked. EVERYONE i went and

1000
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:12,000
got a calcium heart. Scan after you know this, Story

1001
00:51:12,039 --> 00:51:15,000
i'm about to tell, You so my dad goes in

1002
00:51:15,039 --> 00:51:17,239
for his calcium Heart, well no he. Didn't first of,

1003
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:19,360
all my dad did you guys Know, charlie he's so.

1004
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:21,719
Stubborn he lied to me and he said he went

1005
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:23,239
in to get it, done AND i was, like keep

1006
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,360
sending the results and he's, like oh my. God he's,

1007
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:27,639
LIKE i don't have. Time i'm doing, Great LIKE i

1008
00:51:27,639 --> 00:51:29,519
don't want to do. This and so we were supposed

1009
00:51:29,519 --> 00:51:31,039
to go on a fishing trip To canada and we

1010
00:51:31,079 --> 00:51:35,400
were gonna have to canoe in up The Wawieg river eighteen.

1011
00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:37,239
Miles SO i don't know if you just heard, that

1012
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:40,599
eighteen fucking miles up the Wawi Egg. River that's not

1013
00:51:40,639 --> 00:51:42,480
something you can do with a heart that's not. Perfect

1014
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:44,880
SO i told my, dad, Listen i'm not going to

1015
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:47,239
go on This canada fishing trip unless you go get

1016
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:49,440
your heart. Checked and so he's, like oh my, god, fine.

1017
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:51,199
Whatever he's like when they ask Why i'm. There i'm

1018
00:51:51,199 --> 00:51:54,199
gonna say it's because my kids are, Annoying like, fine.

1019
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:56,599
Whatever so he, goes he gets. Checked he sends the

1020
00:51:56,639 --> 00:51:58,400
results off to me and my sister as if he

1021
00:51:58,559 --> 00:52:01,360
just aced the. Exam he's not a. Doctor i'm not a.

1022
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:03,760
DOCTOR i have no idea what's going. On there was

1023
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:06,039
something at the top that's a ninety eighth, percentile and he's,

1024
00:52:06,079 --> 00:52:07,480
like looks Like i'm, good AND i was, like, YEAH

1025
00:52:07,519 --> 00:52:09,960
i think you're. Good my, sister who's the scientist in

1026
00:52:10,039 --> 00:52:11,639
the family and the only one of the brain in

1027
00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:15,679
between her, ears she calls her friend who's a, doctor

1028
00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:22,360
and starts freaking. Out she's, like these are horrifying. Numbers you. Know,

1029
00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:24,920
basically if these numbers are north of three, hundred you

1030
00:52:25,079 --> 00:52:28,679
are at a high risk for a cardiovascular. Event and

1031
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:31,960
he had four numbers that were north of a. Thousand

1032
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:38,960
so the next step was to get. Stented they were

1033
00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:41,840
going to put stents, in which stenting is usually, temporary

1034
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:45,559
temporary relief for you, know heart build up in the

1035
00:52:45,599 --> 00:52:48,719
main arteries in the. Heart when he went in to get,

1036
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:53,719
STENTED i was In, paris So i'm out here kiking

1037
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:57,800
la laying falling in, love and my dad goes to get,

1038
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:00,159
stented and we all kind of thought this is you,

1039
00:53:00,159 --> 00:53:02,320
know this is gonna be the. Solution he'll be better after.

1040
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:08,320
This my sister calls me after the procedure and was,

1041
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:13,119
like his arteries are too clogged to. Stent he needs

1042
00:53:13,159 --> 00:53:22,519
to get emergency open heart. Surgery and everything just went.

1043
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:28,119
Dark it was like the music that was playing in

1044
00:53:28,159 --> 00:53:32,400
the background. Disappeared the MACAROON i was eating tasted like.

1045
00:53:32,559 --> 00:53:35,960
Cardboard the cigarette THAT i was smoking that felt so

1046
00:53:36,079 --> 00:53:40,360
sexy two seconds ago was. Asphyxiating it just was like

1047
00:53:40,559 --> 00:53:49,239
everything went. Dark and you, KNOW i joke a lot about.

1048
00:53:49,639 --> 00:53:53,960
Death it's something THAT i quite frankly look forward. TO

1049
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:59,320
i think it's gonna be pretty fucking. Peaceful that, SAID

1050
00:54:00,079 --> 00:54:05,639
i have never even begun to metabolize the thought of

1051
00:54:05,719 --> 00:54:10,760
my dad. Dying and Obviously i'm not an. IDIOT i

1052
00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:13,000
know we're all gonna. DIE i know we're all just done.

1053
00:54:13,039 --> 00:54:15,400
It you, know it's a ticking clock counting backwards for

1054
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:17,320
all of. Us but my dad has always been just

1055
00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:20,920
such a, strong macho. Dude you, know he's the, biggest

1056
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:23,920
toughest guy in every. Room he's the, funniest most, charming

1057
00:54:24,039 --> 00:54:28,639
most wonderful. Person and you, know is he? Perfect, no

1058
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:33,360
but he's been a perfect father and he is the

1059
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:37,840
person who made me WHO i. Am AND i to

1060
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:39,880
SAY i love that man feels like it's not even

1061
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:43,840
doing it. JUSTICE i adore. Him he is my hero

1062
00:54:44,119 --> 00:54:47,079
AND i can't imagine real world without, him AND i

1063
00:54:47,079 --> 00:54:52,400
don't really want. To and in this, moment it was

1064
00:54:52,440 --> 00:54:54,400
the first TIME i had to think about. It my

1065
00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:57,440
sister sent me an, article not an, article a diagram

1066
00:54:58,639 --> 00:55:03,480
so THAT i could see how clogged it. Was and

1067
00:55:04,039 --> 00:55:09,480
the left ascending ventricle was ninety nine percent, clogged and

1068
00:55:10,119 --> 00:55:12,280
when that gets to one, hundred he would drop De

1069
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:20,880
and then he had three. Others one was over ninety,

1070
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:23,239
percent one was over eighty, percent and one was over

1071
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:31,280
seventy percent, clogged all main main. Bites AND i just

1072
00:55:31,519 --> 00:55:33,360
ventnam AND i was, like DO i need to fly home?

1073
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:33,599
Speaker 2: Now?

1074
00:55:33,679 --> 00:55:35,039
Speaker 1: Like what DO i need to? DO i had a

1075
00:55:35,039 --> 00:55:37,480
few more days In, paris and she's, like, realistically they're

1076
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:38,719
not going to be able to get us in for

1077
00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:41,079
a consultation until next. Week she's, like fly back To,

1078
00:55:41,199 --> 00:55:43,360
la get your, shit come, home and just plan on

1079
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:48,960
being home. Indefinitely and so that through a wrench in,

1080
00:55:49,159 --> 00:55:54,360
things AND i, felt you, know, responsible like that's my.

1081
00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:56,440
Dad i'm of COURSE i was going to go. Home

1082
00:55:56,480 --> 00:56:00,800
it wasn't even a question of. THAT i did have

1083
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:04,719
to cancel a bunch of, shows not cancel a reschedule

1084
00:56:04,719 --> 00:56:07,239
a bunch of. Shows you, KNOW i was on, TOUR

1085
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:09,840
i was, working AND i had to go home and

1086
00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:11,800
just take care of my. Dad and that was the

1087
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:15,719
only thing that. Mattered And i've never had something an

1088
00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:18,840
event quite like this, before because it just everything else,

1089
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:23,679
froze time stood. Still EVERYTHING i was chasing after career,

1090
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:28,920
wise it just. Didn't it suddenly just didn't. Matter it

1091
00:56:29,039 --> 00:56:31,199
wasn't even a second. Thought LIKE i just. WAS i

1092
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:33,480
was so hyped up about this PROJECT i was working

1093
00:56:33,519 --> 00:56:35,760
on AND i just needed to get you. KNOW i was,

1094
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:38,039
Like i'm going to get in acting classes And i'm

1095
00:56:38,039 --> 00:56:39,800
going to get happy to do, this And i'm going

1096
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:41,119
to make this AND i was going to put a

1097
00:56:41,119 --> 00:56:42,639
bunch of money into a thing THAT i wanted to.

1098
00:56:42,639 --> 00:56:46,440
Shoot and it all just. Stopped it all just, stopped

1099
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:49,559
AND i just went home AND i was there for my,

1100
00:56:49,639 --> 00:56:53,679
dad and you, know my sister did the lion's share

1101
00:56:53,679 --> 00:56:55,239
of the work BEFORE i got, there And i'm so

1102
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:57,360
grateful to her for. That she does live an hour

1103
00:56:57,440 --> 00:56:59,320
away from, him so it's really nice she can go

1104
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:04,000
be with. Him but, yeah he had to Have we

1105
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,800
thought it was going to be quintuple, bypassed but once

1106
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:09,280
the surgeon got in, there it was quadruple, bypassed so

1107
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:12,400
he had one fewer artery or whatever they're. CALLED i

1108
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:15,280
don't even know to. Bypass and for those of you

1109
00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:17,280
who don't know what bypass surgery, is BECAUSE i didn't

1110
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:19,679
know what it, was they basically take veins out of

1111
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:26,159
the leg and they create new pathways for your heart to.

1112
00:57:26,239 --> 00:57:30,280
Flow so it's like, plumbing like your heart's arteries are like.

1113
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:35,559
Plumbing and if a pipe is, clogged instead of you,

1114
00:57:35,599 --> 00:57:39,840
know clearing, that you can always just have create a

1115
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:42,599
new pipe to go around and then the liquid will

1116
00:57:42,639 --> 00:57:47,559
flow where it flows. Easiest and so they did, that

1117
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:51,400
and you, know my sister AND i went. IN i

1118
00:57:51,440 --> 00:57:54,800
don't think anyone really understood the. GRAVITY i think my

1119
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:56,960
sister might have understood the gravity of what we were

1120
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:59,199
about to get, into BUT i don't think my. DAD

1121
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:01,519
i don't think my really. Did he, was you, know

1122
00:58:01,599 --> 00:58:03,880
he was making jokes the whole, time and the nurses

1123
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:05,320
had to be, like you, know you're going in for

1124
00:58:06,079 --> 00:58:09,400
a very serious, surgery, right and he just he couldn't help.

1125
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:11,800
Himself he was joking through. Everything and that's WHERE i

1126
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:13,719
get it. From you, know my dad's the person that

1127
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:17,280
taught me that the darker things, get the funnier they also.

1128
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:19,880
Get and you, know for the first time in my,

1129
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:22,440
LIFE i did see my dad. Scared not the day,

1130
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:24,840
of not on the operating. Table he was not scared,

1131
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:28,000
then BUT i think the weeks coming up preparing for the,

1132
00:58:28,039 --> 00:58:30,800
surgery in between the consult and when he had to

1133
00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:33,639
have the, SURGERY i think he was a bit scared

1134
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:37,119
and that came out in. Anger and he's not an angry.

1135
00:58:37,119 --> 00:58:39,239
Person and you, KNOW i can count on one hand

1136
00:58:39,239 --> 00:58:41,840
how many Times i've seen him. Angry three of those

1137
00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:43,920
times would be WHEN i was home for the. Surgery

1138
00:58:44,599 --> 00:58:50,159
and here's the. THING i. THINK i have always thought

1139
00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:53,599
that anger is just fear and adjacent mask AND i

1140
00:58:53,679 --> 00:58:57,079
think for the first time in his, life he was

1141
00:58:57,119 --> 00:59:02,320
also confronted with his own mortality and that's fucking. Scary

1142
00:59:03,199 --> 00:59:06,639
and ALL i can do was be patient and be

1143
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:10,960
of service and help him HOWEVER i. Could and the

1144
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:14,159
surgery was, Gnarly, uh it really, was but it was

1145
00:59:14,199 --> 00:59:18,800
also really well. Done and we went To Saint luke's In,

1146
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:22,400
milwaukee And i'm forever grateful for the entire team that

1147
00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:27,199
took care of my dad and saved his. Life when

1148
00:59:27,199 --> 00:59:31,079
he got out of, surgery he looked fucking. Rough he looked.

1149
00:59:31,199 --> 00:59:33,960
ROUGH i mean he. Didn't it looked like he died

1150
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:37,280
two days. Ago AND i just he just had tubes

1151
00:59:37,280 --> 00:59:39,480
coming out of. Everywhere he was in so much. Pain

1152
00:59:39,639 --> 00:59:42,920
i've never such a tough. Guy and you, know before the,

1153
00:59:42,960 --> 00:59:45,360
surgery HE'S i saved the bike And i'm not going

1154
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:47,400
to need. That and then when he got, out he's,

1155
00:59:47,519 --> 00:59:50,239
LIKE i you, know he really needed. Medicine he was

1156
00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:52,719
really in a ton of. Pain and my heart broke for.

1157
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:55,519
Him and you, know he was a little delirious and

1158
00:59:55,559 --> 00:59:56,960
he was a little out of. It but the second

1159
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,199
he got the tubes out of his mouth and he could,

1160
00:59:59,239 --> 01:00:02,159
talk he looked at the, nurse THE icu, nurse and he,

1161
01:00:02,239 --> 01:00:04,679
said AM i going to be able to play? Guitar

1162
01:00:05,599 --> 01:00:08,079
and she, said, yeah, like once you heal, up you're

1163
01:00:08,119 --> 01:00:10,840
going to be able To and he said, well that's

1164
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:15,000
cool BECAUSE i couldn't. Before and we all just, laughed

1165
01:00:15,119 --> 01:00:19,199
AND i just, like only, him only only he would

1166
01:00:19,239 --> 01:00:22,760
make a, joke a really you, know a funny. Joke

1167
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:24,199
it was a dad, joke but it was a funny.

1168
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:27,280
Joke and right when he got out of, surgery AND

1169
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:32,519
i just was SO i don't, know it was just

1170
01:00:32,519 --> 01:00:35,760
a really it was a really challenging time for him

1171
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:39,559
and you, know for all of, us and the recovery

1172
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:44,360
was not, easy and there was he had to figure

1173
01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:46,039
out how to, walk and it was hard to breathe

1174
01:00:46,039 --> 01:00:48,360
and don't even think about. Coughing you, know it just

1175
01:00:48,480 --> 01:00:52,000
was it was really. Tough all that to, say he

1176
01:00:52,119 --> 01:00:55,559
is doing so much better. Now EON's better. NOW i went,

1177
01:00:55,599 --> 01:00:57,599
HOME i saw him two weeks. AGO i went and

1178
01:00:57,639 --> 01:01:00,199
filmed a special In, chicago which you, guys am so

1179
01:01:00,199 --> 01:01:03,440
excited for you to see the. Special, okay onlyfan shot a,

1180
01:01:03,519 --> 01:01:06,480
special and it's going to be AVAILABLE i think in

1181
01:01:06,519 --> 01:01:10,239
the beginning Of, december maybe middle Of. December i'm going

1182
01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:12,039
to be throwing it up on my, YouTube so please

1183
01:01:12,119 --> 01:01:13,800
keep an eye out for this. SPECIAL i had so

1184
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:17,320
much fun filming. IT i it was just such a special.

1185
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:22,000
Experience my dad was, there my sister was, there my

1186
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:26,039
boyfriend was, there my best friends all flew. In claudia flew,

1187
01:01:26,079 --> 01:01:28,519
In kenny flew. In, LIKE i had so many people

1188
01:01:28,559 --> 01:01:30,480
fly in to support me and show me, love and

1189
01:01:30,480 --> 01:01:33,280
it just felt really. Special And i'm actually so excited

1190
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:36,519
for you guys to see this, one so that will

1191
01:01:36,559 --> 01:01:39,760
be coming, out stay tuned on. That but, yeah after,

1192
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:42,360
that so my dad came out the specials called Sorry,

1193
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:44,239
DAD i like brought him on. STAGE i did this

1194
01:01:44,280 --> 01:01:46,679
whole thing with him. Afterwards it was really really, nice

1195
01:01:46,719 --> 01:01:50,599
AND i JUST i had a really good time making the.

1196
01:01:50,639 --> 01:01:52,360
SPECIAL i don't know what else to say about. It

1197
01:01:52,400 --> 01:01:54,440
so you guys, said some of you know how MUCH

1198
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:56,440
i fucking hated the last, one but this ONE i

1199
01:01:56,480 --> 01:02:02,679
really had fun. With but, yeah so, after you, know

1200
01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:07,119
after we shot that special In, chicago The brewers were

1201
01:02:07,119 --> 01:02:12,360
playing The Cubs game five playoff, game AND i got

1202
01:02:12,360 --> 01:02:14,920
my dad. Tickets my dad's a huge baseball. FAN i

1203
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:17,519
got to sell. TICKETS i looked at The brewers roster

1204
01:02:17,559 --> 01:02:18,679
BECAUSE i was, like the, NO i don't want to

1205
01:02:18,719 --> 01:02:21,480
pay for. Tickets but, like, randomly this guy THAT i

1206
01:02:21,559 --> 01:02:23,880
used to talk to in, college he used to play

1207
01:02:23,880 --> 01:02:25,599
for The. Brewers he's now one of the coaches and

1208
01:02:26,239 --> 01:02:27,920
he's like an old homie AND i just hit him

1209
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:29,400
up On. INSTAGRAM i was, LIKE i don't even know

1210
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:31,440
if you're gonna remember. Me he's, Like Britnie, blucknschmid of

1211
01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:33,519
COURSE i remember. You he left us. Tickets it was

1212
01:02:33,559 --> 01:02:38,440
such a special. NIGHT i will, say Mister manhattan got

1213
01:02:38,440 --> 01:02:43,639
introduced to, Tailgating wisconsin, tailgating and my, god did he

1214
01:02:43,679 --> 01:02:47,599
get fucking his ass handed to. Him for those of

1215
01:02:47,599 --> 01:02:50,280
you who don't, know we really waterboard people with beer

1216
01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:56,800
and brats and cheeseburgers and small. Talk and he pretty

1217
01:02:56,880 --> 01:02:59,880
much got bullied into drinking like they. Were you, know

1218
01:03:00,039 --> 01:03:03,199
we were walking from the car To Miller park and

1219
01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:05,480
what's not It's American Family field now he used to

1220
01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:08,039
Be Miller. Park and they're, like you need you need

1221
01:03:08,079 --> 01:03:10,199
two beers for the for the, walk and he's like

1222
01:03:10,239 --> 01:03:12,800
two and they're, like you gotta take at least one

1223
01:03:12,840 --> 01:03:14,760
otherwise we're gonna have some. Questions So i'm, like you

1224
01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:18,360
guys are actual, bullies And i'm, like, literally our fucking

1225
01:03:19,599 --> 01:03:23,159
our state bird is a drunk. Driver so that's that's

1226
01:03:23,199 --> 01:03:26,840
The wisconsin. Way, baby but, yeah he we did A

1227
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:29,719
brewer's tailgate and THEN i had already bought Us packers,

1228
01:03:29,719 --> 01:03:31,920
tickets so we went to The packers game the next.

1229
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:34,920
Day and that was a lot because it took us

1230
01:03:34,920 --> 01:03:36,440
two hours to get out of The brewers. Game we

1231
01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:38,440
had to wake up, early drive two hours to go

1232
01:03:38,480 --> 01:03:41,960
to The packers, game, tailgate go in watch The. PACKERS i,

1233
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:45,440
mean poor Mister. Manhattan by the time we were at

1234
01:03:45,440 --> 01:03:47,159
The packers, game he was just sitting there with a

1235
01:03:47,239 --> 01:03:49,679
vacant look in his. EYES i PUT i bought a

1236
01:03:49,840 --> 01:03:53,639
cheesehead to put. On he didn't like, that and just,

1237
01:03:54,519 --> 01:03:58,559
vacant dead behind the, eyes sitting when everyone else around

1238
01:03:58,639 --> 01:04:00,880
us is standing so he couldn't see anything except for

1239
01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:03,400
The CLEVELAND i think they were playing The. BROWNS i

1240
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:06,360
think it was The Cleveland. Browns just the fans of

1241
01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:09,239
The Cleveland browns, asses that's what he was staring. At

1242
01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:11,480
And i'm, like, hey, MAN i was, like would you

1243
01:04:12,079 --> 01:04:14,039
feel a little less stressed if we went in the

1244
01:04:14,079 --> 01:04:17,920
family bathroom and Fucked and he's, LIKE i do not

1245
01:04:18,039 --> 01:04:22,559
have the. CAPACITY i do not have the emotional bandwidth

1246
01:04:23,159 --> 01:04:27,079
to fuck you in a cheesehead in the family bathroom right,

1247
01:04:27,119 --> 01:04:31,199
Now i'm, like plus. It but you know who was

1248
01:04:31,280 --> 01:04:34,519
drinking and having a good, Time good Old Charlie. Schmidt

1249
01:04:34,719 --> 01:04:39,719
pops was dog walking the twenty seven year old and

1250
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:41,320
he's having the time of his. Life and he's, like

1251
01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:43,159
you Have. Britter he's, LIKE i got a new, heart

1252
01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:46,639
gotta wear this puppy In AND i was, LIKE i

1253
01:04:46,679 --> 01:04:48,440
don't think that's how it works at, all and he's,

1254
01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:53,800
like my, heart my. Rules and that was, that you.

1255
01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:58,679
GUYS i, mean that was kind of a crazy quick

1256
01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:02,320
recap on the summer and what's been going on Since

1257
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:04,880
i've been off the. MICROPHONE i have missed you guys so.

1258
01:05:05,079 --> 01:05:08,000
Much you, know, LISTEN i know it's LIKE i said,

1259
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:10,320
earlier it's going to be a smaller. Party sorry if

1260
01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:12,679
this was a little. Weird first times are, awkward AND

1261
01:05:12,719 --> 01:05:16,679
i just was, like just hit you guys with every

1262
01:05:16,719 --> 01:05:21,159
single Feeling i've felt since we last. Spoke BUT i

1263
01:05:21,199 --> 01:05:23,079
am so excited to get back on the road and

1264
01:05:23,320 --> 01:05:25,159
meet more of you on the road once. Again i'll

1265
01:05:25,199 --> 01:05:30,000
be In denver On december. Seventh DID i Say december

1266
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:31,679
eighth in the beginning of the. Show i'm going to

1267
01:05:31,679 --> 01:05:34,320
be There december, seventh nothing. Matters we're all going to,

1268
01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:38,639
die AND i will start giving you guys. Prompts if

1269
01:05:38,679 --> 01:05:40,440
you want, to JUST dm me On. Instagram in the,

1270
01:05:40,480 --> 01:05:43,119
MEANTIME i want. CONFESSIONALS i want things you don't want

1271
01:05:43,159 --> 01:05:46,079
to tell. ANYONE i want things you need help working.

1272
01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:48,599
THROUGH i want anything you want some bad bys. On

1273
01:05:48,960 --> 01:05:51,519
i'm just going to do a confessional corner moving. Forward

1274
01:05:51,639 --> 01:05:54,000
that's going to be everything kind of wrapped into. One

1275
01:05:55,159 --> 01:05:57,760
we're going to do a few more. Stories it's not

1276
01:05:57,840 --> 01:05:59,719
all going to be about my personal. Life this time

1277
01:05:59,800 --> 01:06:01,880
just was BECAUSE i felt LIKE i owed you guys

1278
01:06:02,159 --> 01:06:05,159
an explanation for everything that's been going on and just

1279
01:06:05,199 --> 01:06:07,159
a little catch. UP i feel like we're you, know

1280
01:06:07,239 --> 01:06:09,440
we're all pals. HERE i Wanted takiki a little, bit

1281
01:06:09,519 --> 01:06:12,000
So i'm so happy to be. Here go Follow Talking

1282
01:06:12,039 --> 01:06:16,039
schmidt On, instagram and if you haven't, already please, follow,

1283
01:06:16,159 --> 01:06:19,960
like subscribe To, Spotify apple, podcasts all that good. STUFF

1284
01:06:20,480 --> 01:06:23,679
i love you so, much, besties AND i will see

1285
01:06:23,719 --> 01:06:24,400
you next. Week