Speaker 1: Hi, guys, it's me real quick. Before we hop into
the podcast, I just want to let you know I
have a new comedy special called Sorry Dad coming out
on December twelfth, so keep an eye on my YouTube
and it will also be available on OnlyFans Tea with
no interruptions, no commercials. Enjoy the podcast, you guys. Hello, Hello,
Welcome to Talk and Schmidt. My name is Brittany. I
am your host. I am so excited to be here.
This is our very first episode. What is going on?
Welcome to hell? It's me, Satan. I saved you a seat.
I hopped out of your nightmares and into your fucking screens.
So here I am. I. I am launching a new podcast,
and I'm so excited about it. I think this is
going to be a lot different than the last project
I did. Obviously, it's just me and Biggie Small's the
dog and yeah, so it's going to be different. It's
gonna be a different format, it's going to be a
different vibe.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: We're going to talk more about health and wellness, and
we're going to have a confession corner for you guys
to write in and tell me anything you guys want
to talk about and we are going to keep badvice going.
This is just the intro episode, so I'm going to
get you guys caught up on my life and my
summer and what the fuck's been going on with me,
and just know I missed you so so, so so much.
But also I had a really nice time not talking
not yeappened for a whole summer. It was so peaceful
and chill and serene, and I really liked it. So
you know, this party's going to be a little smaller,
a little more intimate, probably than the last party we
were all at together. But I'm excited. I'm excited if
you're here. I'm excited that I'm here. I'm excited that
bigging small so the Dog is here. It's all very exciting.
And before I launch into the podcast, I just want
to let you know I am on the road. I
have a show in Denver on December eighth, So if
you're in this week, I think by the time this
comes out it'll be this week. Please come see me.
I'm at the Denver Improv. You can look at my
show links on Brittany Schmidt dot com for all of
my stand up shows. I've been having so much fun
doing stand up. You guys. I am in the middle
of writing a whole new set and I just filmed that.
You guys have so much to tell you. I have
so much to tell you. It's so exciting. Okay, So
I have a show in Denver twelve eight. That's my
last show this year, one and only, and then if
you look towards next year, I've got a bunch coming up.
I've got Austin, I've got Rallie, I've got I'm going
to Europe. I'm doing a London show. I'm going to
be all over the place. So check Britney Schmidt dot
com b R I T T A N Y S
C H M I T T NO D. I took
all of those in college. So come to a show,
come say what's up. I would love to see you.
And on that note, we're going to get into it.
Let's get into the most asked question. Listen, you guys,
I vacillated. I have gone back and forth, over and
over and over again whether or not I want to
talk about this highline top note. I really don't. But
since so many of you asked, I mean hundreds of dms,
there's a lot of questions about what happened, what happened
with everything, what happened, and I can confirm, I will
confirm that the friendship is over. But what I'm gonna
say is like, listen, I know you guys want the tea.
You're like, it's piping, it's scalding, and trust me, if
I gave it to you, you'd all have third degree burns.
But I live and die by the fact that when
you talk about someone else, it says more about you
than it does about them. It's kind of the same
way like I used to work in hr I you know,
I recruited people full time for a living, and I
worked for a really big company, and you know, there's
there's rules about recruiting and interviewing and all that stuff,
and one of the main rules is if they're talking
like mad, nasty shit about a place they used to
work at, they're gonna do that same thing to you.
And it's also just I think it says more about
them and their inability to cope with like life and
its challenges and how people and jobs and nothing is
ever perfect. So I listen, I've done a lot of
work on myself, and I can take the punches as
they come. And I know there's been some sneak dishes
online and on Snapchat. You know, she can't get off Snapchat,
Oh my god. But I'm gonna rise above it. I don't.
There's a few things that I'm gonna talk about separately
that I want you guys to know about. I really
value being an honest person. And there's just some stuff
in my life that's been going on where you know,
some some people think like, Okay, I'm just gonna get
into it. I'm just gonna say it. I have been
in my life sober for big chunks of time. I've
had full sobriety. And to me, full sobriety is, you know,
no alcohol, no hard drugs, no soft drugs, no fun drugs,
no drugs period. And I've gone back and forth a lot.
I had three full years of sobriety, and then I
you know, did mushrooms and I smoked a little pot.
And then I had another three full years of sobriety,
and then I did mushrooms and I smoked a little pot,
and then I got I started over again. So listen,
I'm a little bit of a back and forth girly
I'm not a one size fits all person. So if
you're looking to me for perfect sobriety, please don't. That's
not me. That's not how I'm practicing, that's not what
I'm doing. And I you know, I'm going to tell
you guys some stories about this summer and what happened
and what went down, and I'm just gonna be honest,
and I'm gonna tell you I did some fucking mushrooms.
So I don't want anyone to fucking be like, oh,
I tell you were sober, and like, listen, I don't.
I don't think sobriety is a one size, fit all,
fits all thing. I think AA was so important to
me in the beginning of my sobriety, and I might
go back to it. I have no idea. I think
all we do is get on these microphones and we
contradict ourselves and we say things that we really genuinely
mean in the moment, and then we change our minds
because we're people. And that's the only thing that stays
the same as change. That's the only constant that there
is in life. And I will say, in my experience
since I got medicated for depression, which if you guys
were not with me on that journey. I was severely,
severely depressed. I was diagnosed with moderate severe depression. And
once I got medicated for that and I got on lexipro,
my highs and lows within my personal sobriety, the edges
on everything just kind of softened. Nothing felt as serious
or as severe, or as high or as low. It did.
The medicine did work. So my experience this year so
far in my sobriety has been excuse me, has been that.
And listen, for me, drinking is the thing that I
can't do. If I start drinking again, we're all in trouble.
Call the cops. Call your there, pissed. Call my mom
because I'm coming to find her. I'm gonna be I'll
be in hell. I'm gonna die if I start really
drinking again. But I know that my sobriety has been
talked about, so I'm just gonna talk about it too.
I don't think anyone has the right to talk about
somebody else's sobriety. I think that's fucking crazy. But you know, listen,
if you if you want to fight that way, you can.
I all I can do is be honest with you
on my journey. I am not in a position where
I'm struggling right now, but I'm also not in a
position where i'm fully sober. So if you're trying to
quit drinking, I am happy to help you, guys. I'm
happy to give you advice on what I did. All
I can do is share my experience, strength, and hope
and pray that it helps you in some way. But
just know that, like, I don't want to disrespect anybody
ever who is fully sober by saying, like, you know,
I'm sober and I can help you on there's a
lot of I don't know what I can do. All
I can do is sit here and be honest and
yeap a little bit and hopefully get like one hour
of your week make it slightly better, or I annoy
you so much that you turn it off and then
you get a whole hour of your week back. And
that's pretty good too, So listen you, guys. I'm so
excited to be on this journey with you. I'm happy
to have a space where I can be open and
honest about it, and if it changes again, I will
be open and honest about that. If I decide that
I need to go back to the program. We can talk.
We'll talk about that, we'll talk through everything. Like life
is constantly changing. I'm constantly changing. I have no idea
who I'll be next week. I don't know who will
be in five minutes. I don't even remember who I
was yesterday. So I just this is who I am today,
and I am enjoying myself. So with that said, I
have so much shit to cut you guys up on,
like so much life. Shit happened to me this summer.
It was really really unbelievable, and I think it was
like it was a balance of the best and worst
summer I've ever had in my life. So I guess
at an average, it was just like a very midsummer
but super highs super lows. And I want to start
with a high and some good news, which is that
I have a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend. I found one,
I trapped one, I got them, I got all the
butterfly net and I fucking caught them. No, I didn't
mean to. Honestly, this was such a happy accident, such
a mistake, not a mistake. I'm like, this is the
worst thing that's ever happened I mean somebody helped me.
I blink twice of your being held hostage, get out
of here. No, not a mistake in that way, Like
I truly didn't mean for this to happen. I got
off of Hinge because I was having the worst luck,
like the worst luck. Actually, I don't think it was
that bad. I just think I was finding guys that
were saying they wanted relationships and they weren't wanting relationships.
And that's fine. You know. I think a lot of
people do that to get laid, and that's you know,
that's fine. What could a woman do to get laid?
That's a lie? Well, I guess we wear push up bras,
and we wear push up bras. And this fake hair
on my head right now, the four hundred fake hairs
on my head. You guys know me. You know I
have four hairs on my head. I'm wearing fake hair.
But I, by the way, I love this weave no shade,
thank you Setlana and Sweden or whoever's hair this is.
But I actually did find a product to help me
grow my motherfucking hair back after that op that op
as bitch put those extensions in my hair that tore
all my hair out. Yeah, I did finally find a product.
It's called Berber Hair Oil. They are one of our
sponsors for the show, so I don't want to ruin it.
I'm gonna gush on them later. But back to my
motherfucking man. Okay. So I went out to the Hampton's
for Arena's fortieth birthday and we had a great weekend.
The last podcast I was doing had just ended, and
so I had some time, so I was like, I'm
gonna spend a week in New York and do some shows.
And so I did that, and I, like I said,
I took hine off my phone because I was just
getting fucked around, and I think like the Frenchie, the
last guy was talking about the fucking six' four mixed
Race french model who was just beautiful and completely uninterested in.
ME i really feel like he was the final test
from the universe because physically he was a specimen and
mentally emotionally the most unavailable and closed off Person i've
ever met in my, life which usually for, me WHEN
i see those types of red, Flags i'm, Like, OLA
i am a. BULL i am running towards, that AND
i did for a little bit and THEN, i you,
KNOW i just finally like he was trying to meet
up again after we had like a weird fight, thing
AND i finally was, like you know, WHAT i think
we're just ultimately looking for different. Things like the first
NIGHT i met, him he was, LIKE i do not
want to date. YOU i want to have sex with multiple,
women BUT i want you to be my main. One
AND i was, like that sounds great for just, you
for you and only, you that sounds really. Great BUT
i went along with it because he say this unch
he has this little laxceunle news go, da like he
had abs up to his fucking teeth like he. Had
it was just he was a beautiful person and hold
on pause for diet. Coke BUT i really feel like
he was the final. Boss LIKE i do believe that
the universe tests you with, people, places and things to
see if you've learned the lessons that you need to.
Learn AND i think that's why sometimes in, everything in
relationships and friendships and mentorships and jobs and, careers and
you will get similar situations that test you in the
same way until you learn the. Lesson AND i think
for me finally saying you, know WHAT i. Think we
want different, things but this has been so fun getting
to know. You and he just hearted the message and
we never talked. AGAIN i think that was my test
from the, universe AND i felt really good about. It
it was, like you, know six ish weeks SINCE i
had gotten, LAID i went To New. YORK i was,
Like i'm wanna Download hinge. Again and my full, intention
my one hundred percent full, intention was to have a
one night. Stand that's ALL i wanted to. DO i
dropped my age parameters On hinge down to twenty. Five
they were at thirty five BECAUSE i was trying to intentionally, date.
Speaker 2: You.
Speaker 1: Know AND i REMEMBER i on the old. Podcast we
had a woman on who like tore my profile. Apart
she was just, like, no you're just you're being too
funny and this isn't real and no one's ever gonna
get to know. You AND i was, like, yo, Bitch
like the first the, person the people that the person
THAT i want to attract will like my, short funny.
Prompts they will not mind that it says Typical, sunday
what are you? Doing AND i, say contemplating the sweet
release of. Death you, know my, Person my person will understand.
That and SO i dropped my age down AND i
pretty quickly met with this guy who was twenty, seven
and he was really, funny and his prompts were very
similar to. Mine they were short and, sweet AND i liked.
IT i could tell he was, funny AND i couldn't
tell much, else so the rest was a, mystery AND
i like. That like one of his prompts Was i'm
weirdly attracted to dot dot dot the clinically. INSANE i was,
like sign me, up, BITCH i will wear my straight
jacket to dinner LIKE. I i JUST i liked, it
and then he is, Like i'm weirdly afraid OF i.
Think it was like small talk and, elevators AND i was,
LIKE i hate small talk.
Speaker 2: Too this is.
Speaker 1: Perfect and he's handsome and he's tall and he's funny
and we started bantering and it was really. Cute AND
i was In New york after The. HAMPTONS i was
In New york with a girlfriend and she had gotten
us tickets to This broadway show AND i don't really Do,
broadway BUT i was, like, whatever we're In New, york
we're gonna do. It and then this guy was LIKE
i have really bad. News the only time THAT i
can see you is tonight for like an early dinner at,
seven Because i'm going to The. Hamptons AND i was, like,
oh don't do this to. Me you. Know it was
like one of those, things, like don't ruin my fucking
day with your bad news and Your hampton's. Plans by the,
WAY i was just in The. HAMPTON'S i don't really
like him that. MUCH i just felt LIKE i was
in a backyard with a, pool, which by the, way
you can find those. Anywhere and granted MAYBE i wasn't
on the most expensive property with the waterfront, view but
the food was bad and everyone's so, entitled AND i
just don't really get what the fuck's going on in The.
Hampton's but Maybe i'll go back And i'll get, It
but this TIME i didn't really get. It, ALSO i
think it was tough for me because it was a
fortieth birthday party and everyone was kind of like in party,
mode and you, KNOW i JUST i. WASN'T i had
brought some mushroom chocolates with me just in CASE i
wanted to, vibe AND i didn't find the right time
to do, it SO i. Didn't but, anyway he was,
Like i'm going to The. Hampton's we can do an early.
DINNER i have to leave the. DINNER i have to
leave the city at nine. Pm AND i was, like, okay.
NICE i love a nice early. Dinner and you, KNOW
i was, like does this have something to do with
our age? Gap Because i'm nine years older than you
and you want to take me to like A Grandma
Special Early Bird special with the FUCKING i don't know
we're even kind of good an Early Bird special Not New.
YORK i don't think they exist In New. York but,
anyway long, story long as FUCK i canceled The broadway.
Show there was just. Something. Okay first of, ALL i
want to say two things THAT i forgot to. Say
WHEN i was going back into the city from The,
HAMPTONS i got WHAT i can only truly describe as
a download from the universe to Download, hinch AND i was,
like in my, mind my rational mind was, like why
the fuck WOULD I why WOULD i do. THAT i
can go out to a bar and meet a GUY
i don't need to WELL i want you know WHAT i.
MEAN i can go out in the wild and find a.
MAN i don't need, to but there was just a
really strong feeling to download. It And i'm LIKE i
do every single Time i've been on this app in
the last six. Months it has taken me to the
pits of hell and spit me back. Out SO i
don't really know WHY i would do, this BUT i downloaded.
It LIKE i, SAID i lowered the. Age we get
on there AND i just, again the banter was so,
good one of the funniest People i've ever, met AND
i just got so, lucky like he's so fucking. Cool
but then he was, Like i'm not going to be,
here AND i was, like by the time he got,
BACK i was gonna be. Gone it was this whole,
Thing SO i cancel this. SHOW i go to dinner with,
him AND i get there And i'm, excited like we
had been having great. CONVERSATION i put on like a
cute little skims dress AND i had My Jack nichols
and cocaine glasses. On AND i get there and he's
speaking frantically with the host and He i'm, like, hey
you know what's, up and he's just, like hang, on
give me a, second frantically with the, host And i'm
just catching like little words here and. There he's, like,
NO i don't want to sit with. Him sit him
across the, restaurant sit him in the other. CORNER i
don't want to see. HIM i don't want to make
eye contact with. Him AND i was, like what are
we getting ourselves into? Here like what sort of arch
nemesis is about to show up at this? Dinner and
then two seconds later he rolls his eyes and he's,
like oh. Fuck it's, Like, britney this is my. Dad
this is my dad and his. Wife AND i was, like,
oh oh, hi and like, meanwhile he AND i hadn't
even SAID i. Yet he was so busy, yelling yelling
at the host THAT i am pretty much met his
dad at the exact same TIME i met. Him and
his dad just do you, know just a, sweet sweet. Dude,
uh kind of like a, tough Tough brooklyn. Dude and
and we go and we sit, down and it's so
funny because his energy was just, off And i'm trying
to figure out DO i want to tell you his?
Name DON'T i want? TO i don't want to tell
you his name BECAUSE i don't want people looking at
him Up and that's not like it's just more for
his own. Privacy he's a more private. PERSON i want
to call him Mister, manhattan BUT i. Can't CAN I,
Okay i'm calling him Mister. MANHATTAN i don't. Care maybe that'll,
Change maybe it'll change along the. Way i'm so excited
to tell you guys about the sponsors For Talking. SCHMIDT
i went after when it sounds LIKE i hunted. Them Oh,
GOD i. Burped that was Die coke that was. Sponsored
that burp was sponsored by Dia. Cope this podcast is
not NO i went after and it does sound LIKE
i hunted, them AND i kind of. DID i went
after some sponsors THAT i really love And i've been
talking about. Organically SO i just want us all to
be on the same page and get a little bit
of a discount and enjoy What i've been. Enjoying so
our first sponsor is CALLED A life on The lamb
and they are bone broth and aravatic. Aravedic is that
how you say? IT i don't, know but it's bone broth.
Goodness AND i have been using their bone marrow face
fat every single night BEFORE i go to. Bed it
is a. Dream do you smell a little bit like dog.
Chow yes you. Do But i'm telling, YOU i get
more compliments on my skin now THAN i ever have
in my entire. Life and it's because every single Night
i'm using the fat face on my. Face they also
have a body drench oil that is it's not too.
Oily it soaks in and it's filled with vitamins and
it makes your skin feel delicious and edible and it
doesn't smell the other products of theirs THAT i. Love
so they have a buffalo bone broth that is one
of the most delicious bone Broths i've ever, had and
for me, PERSONALLY i love to do a bone broth
midday WHEN i want a little something in my stomach
like a little salty. Snack it's not a snack because
it is just, liquid but it's filling and it's nourishing
and it makes you feel good and it gives you
nutrients and vitamins and builds you up with all the good.
Stuff they also have bone, jelly so bone jelly is
a little, thicker but it does have twenty grams of
protein per, cup which is. Crazy SO i don't know
if you're like me and you're a protein girly and
you're trying to like squeeze in all your macros and
get all your protein and so that you can stay
strong and. Fit but if you, are even if you're,
not just one cup of bone jelly a day is.
Great does wonders for your protein. Intake it's great for,
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Health it is just. Great SO i want you guys
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jelly and The buffalo bone. Broth and if you use
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Later we, meet we, have we sit for. Dinner but
his energy is LIKE i could feel him right, away
Like i've never really locked into a person. ENERGETICALLY i
can usually tell how people are. FEELING i can read
energy pretty. Well i'm not you, know it's not my
first day on, earth but LIKE i could feel, him
LIKE i could feel he was, tense and he was
uncomfortable AND i think maybe a little, embarrassed and it
was just like it was kind of a strange energy
because we had been having such great chats like on you,
know On hinge and on text and. Everything SO i
JUST i just felt the energy. Shift and you, know
he had a few drinks trying to like loosen. Up
but then his dad kept walking over to the table
to talk to, us WHICH i thought was so, funny
but he was really. Uncomfortable but his dad comes over
and he's, like, oh the salmon is fantastic. Tonight you
guys gotta try. This it's so. Good he's like DoD
blaslie was. Alone and then this dad walks. Away and
then his dad comes back and he's, like, so how'd
you do? Me And i'm waiting for him to answer
because this isn't my. DAD i don't know this. MAN
i don't know this. FAMILY i don't know how good
of a sense of humor they, have you, Know and he's,
like how do you guys MEET i wanted to be
like an abortion. Clinic that's how we, met you. Know
but he just was like we met on the. INTERNET
i was, like, yeah we met on hinge and then you,
know it was just it was just. Funny it was
just funny and. Weird but his energy was. Off AND
i had these mushroom chocolates in my purse And i'd
never taken them. BEFORE i had a sponsor Called Happy
caps that had sent me a bunch of, stuff and
LIKE i, SAID i hadn't taken mushrooms Since. January BUT
i brought him To New york just in CASE i
wanted to do them in The. Hamptons and so after,
DINNER i was just, like you, KNOW i can feel
you're a little rocked by the FACT i just met
your whole family on the first. Date BUT i was,
LIKE i have these mushroom. Chocolates do you want to do?
Those and he's, like, yeah, sure that'd be. Cool AND
i DIDN'T i didn't know the dosing on. Them i'd
never taken them. Before AND i was, like you, know
one is fun, too is? WOO i don't, know is
what are the rules? Here and SO i gave him
two chocolates AND i then myself also took two AND i,
mean they hit us so fast and so, HARD i
felt LIKE i got hit by a freight. Train like
his knees started. Wobbling and we got in a car
and we went To, shaymargo which is like this members
club in the. City but we couldn't be around people
like we were not we should not have been allowed
in the. Wild so we went to a back room
that was really, dark and then our server came up
to us and he looked like the. Cryptkeeper he looked
like he died two days, ago and he was like
trying to peddle us his. Jewelry it was a very strange.
Experience he's filled an espresso martini and his white linen.
PANTS i, mean the whole night was a fucking. Mess
but it was fun and it was, easy and he
was easy to be, around AND i just LIKED i
just liked. HIM i just liked. Him it was fun
and cool and easy from the. Start and we ended
up going back to his place and he lives with his,
brother SO i met his, dad his, stepmom and his
brother all in the first. NIGHT i was, Like i'm
pretty much in the family. Already and, yeah we went
back to his place and we hooked. Up SO i you,
KNOW i dragged intoke advantage of a young younger, man
and that is women in men's. Fields that's women in
men's fields right. There. Now we had a great. Night
it was very, sexy very, cool very. Fun BUT i
still was like pretty much under the IMPRESSION i was
not going to see him, again you. KNOW i even
when his brother he forgot my name and he asked
me the name, AGAIN i was, like don't Or i'm
just blowing, through like you're not going to see me.
Again AND i had a really nice, night AND i
broke my. RULE i usually do not spend the night
at guys', houses not even just on the first. Date
LIKE i really don't like to, sleep not in the
bed That i'm supposed to be, sleeping AND i really
wanted to go back to the to the hotel and,
sleep but there was just something really nice and really
comfortable about him and meeting, him and it was easy
and he's like one of the funniest People i've ever
met in my. Life and he's just like really sexy and,
cool and, yeah we had a great. Time and then
the next, MORNING i was, like all, right, Well i'll
see you, later and he he just texted me right.
AWAY i don't even THINK i got three blocks away
from his place before he texted. Me and he's just
been wonderful ever, since like the most consistent, communicator the,
funniest the, kindest the most. Thoughtful like he's just fucking.
Great and he's like he comes out da da, Da,
No i'm just. Kidding. Yeah so it's just that it was,
Amazing like what a. Gift AND i also, think you,
know that was another exchange from the universe energetically where
some things had ended and needed to. End and ONCE
i wasn't giving all of my energy to something outside of,
myself it WAS i was able to attract something that
required my energy in a in a more positive. Way
and you, KNOW i it's it's been a really interesting.
Relationship it's different than any Relationship i've ever had in
my life. Before he lives In New. YORK i live
IN La maybe there's maybe maybe that's not, forever and
by MAYBE i mean. Definitely AND i do have plans
to tell you guys what's happening, next But i'm not
going to do that this. EPISODE i can't blow my
whole load in the First Welcome back. Episode but, yeah
he you, know we really like. Synced we synced up
and he's just really. Wonderful and he told me about this.
Theory he told me about this, theory WHICH i really
like AND i want to repeat to you. Guys this
theory is called the red string. Theory it is An
East asian belief that an invisible red thread connects two
people who are destined to me regardless of, place, time or.
Circumstance this string may stretch and, tangle but it will never,
break ensuring that if you're meant to be, together you
will be. Together AND i love, that you, Know i'm
a little woo woo AND i love that. Shit and
he sent it to me And mike AND i broke
your heart and said that was told to him by
his last. Girlfriend mike ruined my. Life, No i'm just.
Kidding mike was, like he definitely read that from another,
bitch AND i was, like, oh he's, young, TikTok who knows. Y, Yeah,
no it was another it was another. Bitch it was.
Definitely it was definitely another. Bitch And i'll fucking get.
Her i'll find. Her All hunter. Down oh my, god
speaking of, which we me And rena did the most,
unhinged most unhinged thing. Ever AND i really want to say,
it BUT i don't know IF i, should BUT i
want Whatever i'm going. To you, know, listen we're. Girls
we like to know what the exes look. Like we
like to know what they're up. To we like to
make sure they're not within five hundred square feet of our.
Man we treat ex girlfriends like grade schools treat sexual,
predators right like there needs to be an invisible line
that nobody can cross to get to our fucking, man
especially in the. Beginning you, know at the beginning of
the relationship is where you're, like stay the fuck away
from my, man and then you're a few years and you're,
like take, him, somebody take. Him. No but me And
rena did something unhinged and we looked up one of
the exes and then her profile is, private BUT i
needed more, information AND i was, LIKE i obviously can't follow,
her But rina. Can And rina is. Famous rita's. Famous
she has a big following on social, media and she's objectively.
FAMOUS a lot of people know who she. Is And
riina being the true gee she, Is she goes and, follows,
follows and the girl accepts. Immediately we let. That what
we didn't realize we had done was that we already
had pictures of her AND i on her story in his.
Speaker 2: Apartment so we went off the deep end trying to
sneaky stock of this, hoe and she probably clocked us so.
Speaker 1: Fast go, Ahead, MIKE i see you cueing. Up what
are you? Doing you grabbed the? Mine? No, oh so, anyway,
listen we're LIKE i think all, girlfriends ex, girlfriends all
of us were like The Spider man meme of like
who can be crazier and not let it? Sho Like
i'm trying to tuck my crazy in right, now but
sometimes it fucking flies out AND i can't help. It but, yeah,
No and here's the. THING i have a new theory
about ex girlfriends. Too ex, girlfriends ex, wives ex, partners
all of. It there's this instinct in us THAT i
don't know what it. Is it's hardwired BECAUSE i can't
get rid of. It no matter how much Therapy i've,
done no matter how MUCH i, aahuasca no matter how
Much i've talked To god or seen The, LORD i
can't get rid of the fact, that, like WHEN i
get into a new, RELATIONSHIP i want to fistfight the.
Exes i'm, LIKE i want to knock you down and
make sure THAT i don't ever fucking see or hear
from you. Again BUT i was thinking about this the other,
night AND i was, like shouldn't we all be, Talking,
like shouldn't we all have little mini conferences but before
we get into a relationship with someone and just be, like,
hey what were your speed? Bumps what were the red
flags that you? Saw because right now my blinders are
on And i'm. Digmatized BUT i would like you to
tell me what down the ROAD i might be able to.
EXPECT i think there's a whole website that girls made
that was all about like putting up like your past
dates or past stuff about. Guys, yes, yeah so that
is to get. GIRLS i forget what it's. Called could
you maybe google that you don't have a computer in
front of, you you have a. Phone there is definitely
a site where girls like rat guys out for bad
behaviors so that you don't eventually also date. Them BUT
i think this is, Different LIKE i don't necessarily Listen
i'm already dating, him that's my. Mother like a man
that's my, BOYFRIEND i will go to war for. Him
BUT i feel like just a pow wow would be,
nice you. Know, like And i'm the perfect example BECAUSE
i was such a vicious cunt to my first husband's ex,
wife was, like fuck, you fuck, This how could you do?
That how could you bub blah bah ba ba, Ba
LIKE i just went off on her and to her
email by the, way to her e. FACE i went
off on that. Bitch but WHAT i should have done
is sat down with her and had a coffee and been, like,
hey tell me what the struggles, were what really, happened
SO i could have been a little more. PREPARED i
think it was the t. App the t app that makes. Sense,
okay so, listen if you need to warn someone about
a man that's acting, up go to the t app
and do. That BUT i think this is a new
app that me And mike are going to create. Together
actually it's not an. App IT'S i just need to
dm a home and be, like, hey baby, girl what
the fuck went down? Here because this is the STORY i.
Got and you, know every time you get there's three
sides to every, story, right there's my, side their, side
and the, truth and we all like our whole life
is just how we interpreted. It it's not actually what's.
Happening that's woo, woo and that's for another. Time but, like,
truly our life is a series of interpretations that are
misinterpreted and then repeated until the end of. Time so,
Like i'm aware that like half the things THAT i
think happened to me probably. Didn't in That i'm aware,
that you, know WHEN i was a younger comedian AND
i thought it was the best thing in the. Room
WHEN i was a brand new, comedian, LITERALLY i did
my first, set seven minute, set AND i went To Marlon,
wayans Who i've been friends with SINCE i was, nineteen
AND i, said take me on the, road put me
in a. Movie i'm ready for the big. TIME i
watched that set back And i'm, like, girl you should
have taken twelve, seats sat the fuck, down and never
honestly probably ever got on stage. Again but it's, LIKE
i think we have this delusion that were better than
we are in every single situation we're. In AND i
don't really exactly remember HOW i got to this. THOUGHT
i was talking about exes and ex girlfriends and me
being crazy and me And rana doing really really really,
horrible really horrible. Sneakop we did a really bad sneak.
Up but, LISTEN i, UH i got a motherfucking, man
and that's pretty. EXCITING i love when things happen, accidentally
like wonderful things happened by accident BECAUSE i was, ready you,
KNOW i was really really really ready for meaningful partnership
AND i had been seeking it. Out BUT i think
that's the. PROBLEM i think when you're actively seeking something,
out it's, like stay away from, me crazy. Lade but
now WHEN i was In New york AND i just was,
Like i'm just gonna fuck a young, guy, which by the,
WAY i FEEL i feel like such an, old like
lecherous man When i'm like describing him to, people And i'm,
like don't, worry he's got an old, soul you, know
like he was raised and he was raised In, mann
so he's like an old twenty. Seven BUT i also,
think like there is a certain. Age, no it really
doesn't have to do with. Age it has to do
with you and your soul and how you and all of.
That age is really just a. Number my ex husband
was older than, me you, know according to, numbers and that's.
It you, KNOW i did a lot of teaching in that.
Household but he was you, know he was infinitely better
than me in a lot of, ways but not you,
know just there's a there's a maturity that comes with,
age and it also can come with like living IN
i Think New York, city that's, UH i don't. Know
it's a tough life. There Like i'm there for five
days AND i feel Like i'm twelve years. Older i'm,
Like i'm not. Herod every TIME i go, THERE i start,
vaping starts smoking. Cigarettes i'm, like, LIKE i get any
endle the stress of just like walking out the. Door
biggie fucking hates, it but he does not Like New.
York so thank god we're not moving, there you. Guys
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Order go get. It on that, note speaking of speaking of, mom,
man uh, SORRY i PROMISE i won't be this annoying
like my. Man my m am is like a. Bitch shut. Up, no,
listen it's still. Early everything could go tits. Up it,
won't but it. Could it. Might stay, tuned you will see.
MORE i just want to say never say. NEVER i
need to say. That i'm not even saying that to, you.
Guys i'm saying it to me BECAUSE i need to
remember to never say, never because every single TIME i say,
NEVER i swear, it it's an ex on your back
for the universe to fuck you up and give you that. Never.
Like WHEN i was, younger my parents had a really,
really really, tumultuous gnarly acrimonious. Divorce it was, very very.
Bad and can you guys Tell i've been reading the
dictionary this. Summer acrimonious. Tumultuous isn't that impressive acrimonious. Girl,
OKAY i want to bring backward of the. Week fuck you.
Guys you didn't like, It i'm bringing it. Back we
all need to have better. Vocabulary it's, sexy it truly.
Is that's a HILL i will die. On but. No
my parents' divorce was. Gnarly it lasted seven. Years they
lost not, everything but fucking close to. It you, know
they like they had a bunch of, property that all these,
houses it was all. Gone it was just like me
riding around on a sad fucking pony that was about
to get. REPOED i just didn't want. It it didn't
it seemed like if that could be what happens after.
MARRIAGE i didn't want to get, married SO i always,
Said i'll never get. Married i'll never get. Married i'll
never get. Married i'll never get, Married i'll never Get and,
YEAH i get, married AND i got. MARRIED i was,
Like i'll never get. Divorced i'll never get. Divorced i'll
never get. Divorced i'm not gonna be like my. Parents
i'm not gonna feel like my. Parents i'm better than my.
Parents i'm smarter than my, Parents i'm more educated than my.
PARENTS i have more money than my. PARENTS i got fucking, divorced,
okay and then WHEN i got, DIVORCED i was, Like
i'll never date A. Gemini i'll, never, ever ever ever Dated.
Gemini THAT i went on the fucking podcast and, Said
i'll never do. It Fuck Gemini's Fuck gemini. Men they're
the scariest People i've ever. Met i've always said About.
Geminis geminis are they have two. Personalities one of them's
an asshole and that's the nice. One and, uh my
dad is proving to be. True My gemini boyfriend has
about twenty seven, personalities and, listen you never know which
one you're gonna. Get it always keeps me on my.
Toes BUT i will say, This, listen you, Know mama
kinda loves an. Asshole it's a little, hot, Right it's
a little hot when someone pushes. BACK i just can't
have someone bending over all the. Time it's not there's no. Challenge.
NEED i need a little bit of what he's, got
and sometimes he gives me a little too much of
what he's, got and uh Then i'm, like reel it
back BEFORE i start fucking, crying you, know reel it
in a little Bit i'm, LIKE i can go back
and forth and back and, forth and Then i'll hit
it and then it's just Like i'm gonna cry. Now, no,
No i'm gonna start. Crying. NO i love jousting in a.
Relationship roasting is my love. Language being mean to people
is my love. Language like If i'm an asshole to,
you that finally MEANS i trust you enough to take
my jokes and know that they're, jokes and that LIKE
i love. You me saying you look like a fucking
idiot in that shirt is me saying, LIKE i love
you to the moon and. BACK i love you so fucking.
Much LIKE i, really really really love to roast. People
and we can go back and forth and we can
go tip for tat and he is fucking, funny but
he can get mean and THEN i cry and THEN i.
Cry and here's the other thing about being in a new.
Relationship it's challenged me in a lot of. WAYS i
was single for a long. TIME i was singing for
almost three. Years, wait, no, yeah it's three years In
it was three years In september SINCE i had filed for.
Divorce so it was a long time to be by
myself and here's the. Thing being by yourself makes you really,
strong makes you really, tough it makes you really self.
Reliant AND i think there's so many truly wonderful things
about being. ALONE i love being. SINGLE i have always
loved being, single even WHEN i was younger and girls
were dating boys and they were you, know everyone was
like falling in. Love, REALLY i really didn't mind being.
Alone AND i was single for all intents and purposes
until my, marriage and then after my MARRIAGE i was
single for all intents and purposes for nearly three. Years
AND i love. INDEPENDENCE i love not answering to. ANYONE
i love going to bed WHEN i. WANT i love
waking up WHEN i. WANT i love eating WHAT i
want WHEN i. WANT i love not having a man,
around asking AM i? Hungry DO i? Need?
Speaker 2: All?
Speaker 1: LIKE i like the freedom of being in. DEPENDENT i
would say one of the cons to being single for
so long is the only person checking on you as
you and you don't have anyone really to help you
regulate your, emotions and SO i feel, like you, know
you rely a lot on. FRIENDSHIPS i think female friendship
saved my life in you, know being. Single BUT i
will also say you almost have like this well built
up inside of you of, emotion and like every time
your feelings were hurt and nobody was around to, care
that's still in. There every time you dropped a jar
Of marranara sauce in the kitchen and it exploded glass
and maranara sauce, everywhere and no one was there to help,
you and no one was there to even laugh at
you or or just make the situation a little bit.
Lighter that's inside of. You every single time you stubbed
your toe and broke your fuck it shattered your pinky
toe and you just had to sit there and writhe
in pain on the floor by, yourself and no one was.
There that's inside of. You so What i've found about
being in this new relationship is that things can be,
fine things can be. Great and, he'll you, know he'll
ask me like are you? Good is everything? Okay And i'm, like, yeah,
No i'm, Good and then he'll ask again and it's
a little, bit you, know and he'll ask again because
something maybe is slightly, off something slightly, off slightly, Off
it could be slightly fucking. Off LIKE i don't, KNOW
i wanted just silence to meditate AND i could hear
him on in the in the other room where he's
supposed to be talking on the, button And i'm just,
like and he's, like is everything? Okay and then it's
like a kid when you ask a, kid you, know
a kid falls down on the playground and they get
up and they're, fine and then you ask them ten
times if they're, okay and then they start sobbing. Uncontrollably
that's HOW i feel in this, relationship like every time
something slightly, off and he's really good with my, energy
he can sense, me he knows if anything's like even
a little bit, OFF i have all of this shit come,
up And i'm, like this has nothing to do with.
You this is about a guy From, january a guy
who ghosted me In january that had a perm you,
know like this is this is something completely. Different So
i've been working on managing my emotions and making Sure
i'm having the appropriate, action the appropriate reaction to things
that are happening within our relationship and not letting like
the well of all of my feelings come out because
that's not appropriate and it's not even his. Fault he
wasn't even around for that. Yet oh my. God, anyway
this episode is not brought to you by diet, coke
but it should. Be, OKAY i all that to say
all that to say this relationship has been bringing up a.
Lot there's a lot of, emotions there's a lot of,
things there's a lot of old, stuff there's a lot
of old patterns that are coming. Forward and it's LIKE
i sort of get exhausted Because i'm, like how fucking
long AM i gonna do this? For? Like how much
work DO i have to do on? Myself how many
times DO i have to go to? Therapy how many
times DO i have to talk to my? Sponsor how
many times DO i have to do in your child?
Work how many times DO i have to attempt to
love myself to not show up as an, insecure fucking
maniac in this? Relationship and the truth, IS i don't.
KNOW i have no. IDEA i have no idea if
there's even a version of myself that can show up
in an early relationship WHERE i feel really fucking strong
feelings and not be terrified because my view of love is.
Chaos my view of love is also that it always
leaves and it's always, fleeting And i'm always afraid for
the next shoe to. Drop AND i spent three fucking
years working on, myself working on my, codependence working on
my sex and love, addiction working on everything that makes
me the WAY i. Am that's, imperfect and like we're
all going to be imperfect forever till the end of.
Time BUT i want to be as close AS i
can to peaceful and self fulfilled and love myself and
all that shit that's like so corny to even say out.
LOUD i really want that for my so THAT i
can show up into a relationship as a, peaceful calm.
Presence but this relationship has been a little challenging for,
that especially because it's long, distance and long distance relationships
are insane because you have to trust somebody across the
like trusting someone but that's sitting in your living room is.
Hard they could be on their phone talking to fucking porn.
Stars like you never know what anyone's, doing even if
they're right under your. Nose the truth of the matter
is people are very, secretive and you, know we all
we all have secrets and we're all a little bit,
SHADY i, Think and so for, me the trust has been,
tough but it's no fault of his like he has
been nothing but. Somebody he has shown me nothing but
somebody who is a, constant kind, communicator somebody who shows
up for me all the, time and he's given me
no reason to not trust. HIM i just have some
like deep seated issues and they come, up and that's really,
sucks because, like falling in love is the best thing
in the, world and it being tainted with these emotions of,
well what is he? Doing who is?
Speaker 2: He yut? With?
Speaker 1: Heho is she all fucking? Killer like that shit is
so exhausting to. Me i'm so sick of. It it
hasn't gone, Away SO i Don't if anyone who has
a cure for, that aside From La loave, bottomy let me.
Know but, yeah it's just Been it's been a, lot a,
lot a lot of stuff coming, up but also like really.
Fun our third date because we don't live in the same.
City our first date was In New, york our, second
like weekend chunk we spent together was In la our
third date was In. Paris we just have this really,
fun big Life and, YEAH i mean it's still at
the beginning. Phases we've only been together for four and
a half, months maybe five, MONTHS i don't, know whatever.
MONTH i don't. Know we got together in the middle Of,
june whatever the timing on that. Is but, yeah it,
uh it's been really. Fun Doing paris with someone again
has been not to say, again but like you, know
There's paris is such a romantic, city and when you
go there with one person or one, partner it's hard
to not go back and feel haunted by like a
relationship that. Ended and going back To paris with him
and going to new restaurants and seeing new, things it
all was like it was just really fun and really
fulfilling and really. Wonderful, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Yeah, okay
Now i'm going to get to what was the most
challenging part of my summer and one of the more
challenging Things i've ever just. Experienced. Ever, so while we're In,
paris and while we're, gallivanting and while life is feeling
really good and, wonderful something simultaneously is going on that
feels really bad and dark and, scary AND i felt very.
Helpless so for those of you who listened to my last,
podcast you may have heard me talk About. Sylvan sylvan
is a healer and a psychic and he works with
a bunch of, celebrities AND i pretty much knocked my
way in to see, him even though he has a
really long waiting. List he's apparently just this phenom of a.
Person AND i went to go see him and he
said to me three times during our session that my
dad needed to get his heart. Checked AND i called
my dad AND i told him that right, away and he's, like,
yeah you, Know i'm doing. Great i've been playing. BASEBALL
i feel healthier than, Ever Like i'm really really. Good
AND i was, like, okay, cool could you just go
get your heart? Checked AND i want everyone to know
about this heart. Test it's called a calcium heart, scan
and it will scan for calcium build up levels in your.
Heart and it In. Wisconsin it's forty nine dollars to
go get it At. Aurora it's super, cheap and it
is the number one preventor of heart attacks for anyone you,
love anyone over a certain. AGE i don't know what
the age. IS i think it's like fifty five for,
men and it's actually lower for women because women are
actually at a higher risk of heart attacks than. MEN
i think we think traditionally like they drink and eat
more so you know that the heart's gonna give out.
Quicker but just historically women have more heart issues than,
men so women go get. Checked. EVERYONE i went and
got a calcium heart. Scan after you know this, Story
i'm about to tell, You so my dad goes in
for his calcium Heart, well no he. Didn't first of,
all my dad did you guys Know, charlie he's so.
Stubborn he lied to me and he said he went
in to get it, done AND i was, like keep
sending the results and he's, like oh my. God he's,
LIKE i don't have. Time i'm doing, Great LIKE i
don't want to do. This and so we were supposed
to go on a fishing trip To canada and we
were gonna have to canoe in up The Wawieg river eighteen.
Miles SO i don't know if you just heard, that
eighteen fucking miles up the Wawi Egg. River that's not
something you can do with a heart that's not. Perfect
SO i told my, dad, Listen i'm not going to
go on This canada fishing trip unless you go get
your heart. Checked and so he's, like oh my, god, fine.
Whatever he's like when they ask Why i'm. There i'm
gonna say it's because my kids are, Annoying like, fine.
Whatever so he, goes he gets. Checked he sends the
results off to me and my sister as if he
just aced the. Exam he's not a. Doctor i'm not a.
DOCTOR i have no idea what's going. On there was
something at the top that's a ninety eighth, percentile and he's,
like looks Like i'm, good AND i was, like, YEAH
i think you're. Good my, sister who's the scientist in
the family and the only one of the brain in
between her, ears she calls her friend who's a, doctor
and starts freaking. Out she's, like these are horrifying. Numbers you. Know,
basically if these numbers are north of three, hundred you
are at a high risk for a cardiovascular. Event and
he had four numbers that were north of a. Thousand
so the next step was to get. Stented they were
going to put stents, in which stenting is usually, temporary
temporary relief for you, know heart build up in the
main arteries in the. Heart when he went in to get,
STENTED i was In, paris So i'm out here kiking
la laying falling in, love and my dad goes to get,
stented and we all kind of thought this is you,
know this is gonna be the. Solution he'll be better after.
This my sister calls me after the procedure and was,
like his arteries are too clogged to. Stent he needs
to get emergency open heart. Surgery and everything just went.
Dark it was like the music that was playing in
the background. Disappeared the MACAROON i was eating tasted like.
Cardboard the cigarette THAT i was smoking that felt so
sexy two seconds ago was. Asphyxiating it just was like
everything went. Dark and you, KNOW i joke a lot about.
Death it's something THAT i quite frankly look forward. TO
i think it's gonna be pretty fucking. Peaceful that, SAID
i have never even begun to metabolize the thought of
my dad. Dying and Obviously i'm not an. IDIOT i
know we're all gonna. DIE i know we're all just done.
It you, know it's a ticking clock counting backwards for
all of. Us but my dad has always been just
such a, strong macho. Dude you, know he's the, biggest
toughest guy in every. Room he's the, funniest most, charming
most wonderful. Person and you, know is he? Perfect, no
but he's been a perfect father and he is the
person who made me WHO i. Am AND i to
SAY i love that man feels like it's not even
doing it. JUSTICE i adore. Him he is my hero
AND i can't imagine real world without, him AND i
don't really want. To and in this, moment it was
the first TIME i had to think about. It my
sister sent me an, article not an, article a diagram
so THAT i could see how clogged it. Was and
the left ascending ventricle was ninety nine percent, clogged and
when that gets to one, hundred he would drop De
and then he had three. Others one was over ninety,
percent one was over eighty, percent and one was over
seventy percent, clogged all main main. Bites AND i just
ventnam AND i was, like DO i need to fly home?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: Like what DO i need to? DO i had a
few more days In, paris and she's, like, realistically they're
not going to be able to get us in for
a consultation until next. Week she's, like fly back To,
la get your, shit come, home and just plan on
being home. Indefinitely and so that through a wrench in,
things AND i, felt you, know, responsible like that's my.
Dad i'm of COURSE i was going to go. Home
it wasn't even a question of. THAT i did have
to cancel a bunch of, shows not cancel a reschedule
a bunch of. Shows you, KNOW i was on, TOUR
i was, working AND i had to go home and
just take care of my. Dad and that was the
only thing that. Mattered And i've never had something an
event quite like this, before because it just everything else,
froze time stood. Still EVERYTHING i was chasing after career,
wise it just. Didn't it suddenly just didn't. Matter it
wasn't even a second. Thought LIKE i just. WAS i
was so hyped up about this PROJECT i was working
on AND i just needed to get you. KNOW i was,
Like i'm going to get in acting classes And i'm
going to get happy to do, this And i'm going
to make this AND i was going to put a
bunch of money into a thing THAT i wanted to.
Shoot and it all just. Stopped it all just, stopped
AND i just went home AND i was there for my,
dad and you, know my sister did the lion's share
of the work BEFORE i got, there And i'm so
grateful to her for. That she does live an hour
away from, him so it's really nice she can go
be with. Him but, yeah he had to Have we
thought it was going to be quintuple, bypassed but once
the surgeon got in, there it was quadruple, bypassed so
he had one fewer artery or whatever they're. CALLED i
don't even know to. Bypass and for those of you
who don't know what bypass surgery, is BECAUSE i didn't
know what it, was they basically take veins out of
the leg and they create new pathways for your heart to.
Flow so it's like, plumbing like your heart's arteries are like.
Plumbing and if a pipe is, clogged instead of you,
know clearing, that you can always just have create a
new pipe to go around and then the liquid will
flow where it flows. Easiest and so they did, that
and you, know my sister AND i went. IN i
don't think anyone really understood the. GRAVITY i think my
sister might have understood the gravity of what we were
about to get, into BUT i don't think my. DAD
i don't think my really. Did he, was you, know
he was making jokes the whole, time and the nurses
had to be, like you, know you're going in for
a very serious, surgery, right and he just he couldn't help.
Himself he was joking through. Everything and that's WHERE i
get it. From you, know my dad's the person that
taught me that the darker things, get the funnier they also.
Get and you, know for the first time in my,
LIFE i did see my dad. Scared not the day,
of not on the operating. Table he was not scared,
then BUT i think the weeks coming up preparing for the,
surgery in between the consult and when he had to
have the, SURGERY i think he was a bit scared
and that came out in. Anger and he's not an angry.
Person and you, KNOW i can count on one hand
how many Times i've seen him. Angry three of those
times would be WHEN i was home for the. Surgery
and here's the. THING i. THINK i have always thought
that anger is just fear and adjacent mask AND i
think for the first time in his, life he was
also confronted with his own mortality and that's fucking. Scary
and ALL i can do was be patient and be
of service and help him HOWEVER i. Could and the
surgery was, Gnarly, uh it really, was but it was
also really well. Done and we went To Saint luke's In,
milwaukee And i'm forever grateful for the entire team that
took care of my dad and saved his. Life when
he got out of, surgery he looked fucking. Rough he looked.
ROUGH i mean he. Didn't it looked like he died
two days. Ago AND i just he just had tubes
coming out of. Everywhere he was in so much. Pain
i've never such a tough. Guy and you, know before the,
surgery HE'S i saved the bike And i'm not going
to need. That and then when he got, out he's,
LIKE i you, know he really needed. Medicine he was
really in a ton of. Pain and my heart broke for.
Him and you, know he was a little delirious and
he was a little out of. It but the second
he got the tubes out of his mouth and he could,
talk he looked at the, nurse THE icu, nurse and he,
said AM i going to be able to play? Guitar
and she, said, yeah, like once you heal, up you're
going to be able To and he said, well that's
cool BECAUSE i couldn't. Before and we all just, laughed
AND i just, like only, him only only he would
make a, joke a really you, know a funny. Joke
it was a dad, joke but it was a funny.
Joke and right when he got out of, surgery AND
i just was SO i don't, know it was just
a really it was a really challenging time for him
and you, know for all of, us and the recovery
was not, easy and there was he had to figure
out how to, walk and it was hard to breathe
and don't even think about. Coughing you, know it just
was it was really. Tough all that to, say he
is doing so much better. Now EON's better. NOW i went,
HOME i saw him two weeks. AGO i went and
filmed a special In, chicago which you, guys am so
excited for you to see the. Special, okay onlyfan shot a,
special and it's going to be AVAILABLE i think in
the beginning Of, december maybe middle Of. December i'm going
to be throwing it up on my, YouTube so please
keep an eye out for this. SPECIAL i had so
much fun filming. IT i it was just such a special.
Experience my dad was, there my sister was, there my
boyfriend was, there my best friends all flew. In claudia flew,
In kenny flew. In, LIKE i had so many people
fly in to support me and show me, love and
it just felt really. Special And i'm actually so excited
for you guys to see this, one so that will
be coming, out stay tuned on. That but, yeah after,
that so my dad came out the specials called Sorry,
DAD i like brought him on. STAGE i did this
whole thing with him. Afterwards it was really really, nice
AND i JUST i had a really good time making the.
SPECIAL i don't know what else to say about. It
so you guys, said some of you know how MUCH
i fucking hated the last, one but this ONE i
really had fun. With but, yeah so, after you, know
after we shot that special In, chicago The brewers were
playing The Cubs game five playoff, game AND i got
my dad. Tickets my dad's a huge baseball. FAN i
got to sell. TICKETS i looked at The brewers roster
BECAUSE i was, like the, NO i don't want to
pay for. Tickets but, like, randomly this guy THAT i
used to talk to in, college he used to play
for The. Brewers he's now one of the coaches and
he's like an old homie AND i just hit him
up On. INSTAGRAM i was, LIKE i don't even know
if you're gonna remember. Me he's, Like Britnie, blucknschmid of
COURSE i remember. You he left us. Tickets it was
such a special. NIGHT i will, say Mister manhattan got
introduced to, Tailgating wisconsin, tailgating and my, god did he
get fucking his ass handed to. Him for those of
you who don't, know we really waterboard people with beer
and brats and cheeseburgers and small. Talk and he pretty
much got bullied into drinking like they. Were you, know
we were walking from the car To Miller park and
what's not It's American Family field now he used to
Be Miller. Park and they're, like you need you need
two beers for the for the, walk and he's like
two and they're, like you gotta take at least one
otherwise we're gonna have some. Questions So i'm, like you
guys are actual, bullies And i'm, like, literally our fucking
our state bird is a drunk. Driver so that's that's
The wisconsin. Way, baby but, yeah he we did A
brewer's tailgate and THEN i had already bought Us packers,
tickets so we went to The packers game the next.
Day and that was a lot because it took us
two hours to get out of The brewers. Game we
had to wake up, early drive two hours to go
to The packers, game, tailgate go in watch The. PACKERS i,
mean poor Mister. Manhattan by the time we were at
The packers, game he was just sitting there with a
vacant look in his. EYES i PUT i bought a
cheesehead to put. On he didn't like, that and just,
vacant dead behind the, eyes sitting when everyone else around
us is standing so he couldn't see anything except for
The CLEVELAND i think they were playing The. BROWNS i
think it was The Cleveland. Browns just the fans of
The Cleveland browns, asses that's what he was staring. At
And i'm, like, hey, MAN i was, like would you
feel a little less stressed if we went in the
family bathroom and Fucked and he's, LIKE i do not
have the. CAPACITY i do not have the emotional bandwidth
to fuck you in a cheesehead in the family bathroom right,
Now i'm, like plus. It but you know who was
drinking and having a good, Time good Old Charlie. Schmidt
pops was dog walking the twenty seven year old and
he's having the time of his. Life and he's, like
you Have. Britter he's, LIKE i got a new, heart
gotta wear this puppy In AND i was, LIKE i
don't think that's how it works at, all and he's,
like my, heart my. Rules and that was, that you.
GUYS i, mean that was kind of a crazy quick
recap on the summer and what's been going on Since
i've been off the. MICROPHONE i have missed you guys so.
Much you, know, LISTEN i know it's LIKE i said,
earlier it's going to be a smaller. Party sorry if
this was a little. Weird first times are, awkward AND
i just was, like just hit you guys with every
single Feeling i've felt since we last. Spoke BUT i
am so excited to get back on the road and
meet more of you on the road once. Again i'll
be In denver On december. Seventh DID i Say december
eighth in the beginning of the. Show i'm going to
be There december, seventh nothing. Matters we're all going to,
die AND i will start giving you guys. Prompts if
you want, to JUST dm me On. Instagram in the,
MEANTIME i want. CONFESSIONALS i want things you don't want
to tell. ANYONE i want things you need help working.
THROUGH i want anything you want some bad bys. On
i'm just going to do a confessional corner moving. Forward
that's going to be everything kind of wrapped into. One
we're going to do a few more. Stories it's not
all going to be about my personal. Life this time
just was BECAUSE i felt LIKE i owed you guys
an explanation for everything that's been going on and just
a little catch. UP i feel like we're you, know
we're all pals. HERE i Wanted takiki a little, bit
So i'm so happy to be. Here go Follow Talking
schmidt On, instagram and if you haven't, already please, follow,
like subscribe To, Spotify apple, podcasts all that good. STUFF
i love you so, much, besties AND i will see
you next. Week