Speaker 1: You know when you get the giggles in public, Oh,
Speaker 1: the church giggles, the church giggles. Yeah, like this wasn't
Speaker 1: even the church girls, really because it wasn't inappropriate for
Speaker 1: me to me laughing. It's just that nobody knew what
Speaker 1: I was laughing about. And I don't know if you've
Speaker 1: seen on the subway these ads. It's like these ads
Speaker 1: that they're real estate ads. They want people to buy
Speaker 1: in New York, so like it's the conceit is. They
Speaker 1: show you a picture of like a New Yorker who
Speaker 1: brought outside of New York and are so disappointed. But
Speaker 1: if you go with us, we'll find you a great apartment.
Speaker 1: Got it? Yeah? Oh yeah, yeah those apps? Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: there's this one where it's about pizza, and it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's it's kind of New York pizza, right, and it
Speaker 1: has this couple so.
Speaker 2: Like people who move outside of the city who dared.
Speaker 1: To leave, Yeah, they got shitty pizza.
Speaker 2: The majesty and wonder that is New York City.
Speaker 1: And the woman I'm gonna show Erica a picture. The
Speaker 1: woman in this photo is giving the stankiest stank face.
Speaker 2: And it ordered pizza in Connecticut. Yeah, it's it's also delicious.
Speaker 1: By the way. Yeah, this is the expression on her face. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I hope she gets a sitcom. I hope this woman
Speaker 1: gets a sitcom off of this job.
Speaker 2: It's a sitcom.
Speaker 1: She is.
Speaker 2: She is living her best four character quadrant sitcom life.
Speaker 1: She is Diliadets. Yes, she is Deli in this photo.
Speaker 2: The idea is she like, She's like, oh, this pizza sucks.
Speaker 2: Let's move back to the most expensive rat chested city
Speaker 2: in the country. Got it.
Speaker 1: That's the idea.
Speaker 2: And this is that aged Well, yesterday's pop culture.
Speaker 1: Today it's Spy Movie may Erica. And actually it's the
Speaker 1: finale of Spy Movie May because next week is Memorial.
Speaker 2: Day, yay, the beginning of summer, the.
Speaker 1: Beginning of summer. We're gonna take We're gonna take a
Speaker 1: little mini break. Yeah, little mini break. You'll have a little,
Speaker 1: a little summer treat in your feed next week.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're gonna have something in there for you. Don't worry.
Speaker 2: We haven't forgotten you.
Speaker 1: We still love you. We're just gonna take a little
Speaker 1: take a little summer break. Sure, Yeah, but not yet,
Speaker 1: because today we have a movie.
Speaker 2: We have a hum dinger.
Speaker 1: And before we get to that hum dinger, we have
Speaker 1: Apple podcast reviews. Do you want to read the first one? Sure?
Speaker 2: The first review comes from Sam. Eighty eight miles per
Speaker 2: hour breaking the speed limit? Yes, isn't that the speed
Speaker 2: limit in It's it's a no, no, no, it's the
Speaker 2: it's you have to go eighty eight miles per hour
Speaker 2: in back to the future. Back to the future, going there,
Speaker 2: that's what they're doing. I see you, Sam, revisiting movie
Speaker 2: magic that aged well with Paul and Erica. I want
Speaker 2: to point out that this title is revisiting movie magic
Speaker 2: colon that aged well with Paul and Erica. This person
Speaker 2: takes care of business. Yeah, Sam, eight eighty eight miles
Speaker 2: per hour does not fuck around.
Speaker 1: If you are a reporter, please let us know if
Speaker 1: you'd like to do an interview.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this fucking thing has a byeline. So Sam Wrights
Speaker 2: that aged well is like having a reunion with your
Speaker 2: friends from the eighties and nineties movie era. Paul and
Speaker 2: Erica don't just dissect plot twists and poke fun at
Speaker 2: the insanity they unearthed very childhood nightmares. Thanks Labyrinth, was
Speaker 2: it hobble?
Speaker 1: Hobble was the name of the it was the name
Speaker 1: of her mini friend there.
Speaker 2: I don't remember, but it is a full living nightmare. Yeah,
Speaker 2: with sharp wit and infectious laughter. This podcast is your
Speaker 2: ticket to relive the classics while doubling down on the
Speaker 2: hilarity of hindsight. Grab your popcorn and settle in for
Speaker 2: a nostalgia trip that's as entertaining as it is enlightening.
Speaker 2: I'd love to hear a review of Now.
Speaker 1: This is actually what the review says. I am not
Speaker 1: incorrecting this. I wonder if maybe it was now and
Speaker 1: Then and it got cut off.
Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know. Now I'm gonna look it up.
Speaker 2: By the way, aside from potentially a typo at the end,
Speaker 2: excellent review, excellent rex. I was just gonna say, really
Speaker 2: good writing. I feel like you write me better than
Speaker 2: I write me, So thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah, Yeah, okay, update,
Speaker 2: I googled it. There does not seem to be a
Speaker 2: movie named now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh Sam, eighty eight miles per hour.
Speaker 2: This got cut off at the end. We're gonna assume now.
Speaker 1: And then Now and then let us know if we're wrong.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe there's another now now boyager.
Speaker 1: Sure, sure we have another review, shall I read sure?
Speaker 1: This is from Cookies for Breakfast twenty two to twenty two.
Speaker 1: They write no notes. Thank you Kimberly and Katie for
Speaker 1: introducing me to Paul and Erica. I'm a nineties baby,
Speaker 1: so this pod has inspired me to watch so many
Speaker 1: of these classics that I wasn't yet alive for or
Speaker 1: was too young to see. I love hearing their thoughtful takes.
Speaker 1: If you can appreciate calling out cringey behavior that was
Speaker 1: once socially acceptable while also being able to agree that
Speaker 1: some things are horrible but also objectively funny, Yes, this
Speaker 1: is the pod for you.
Speaker 2: They have distilled our mission statement to a perfect sentence
Speaker 2: that is horrible, but it's funny, and I laughed, and
Speaker 2: I laughed at it, and I'm.
Speaker 1: Gonna be honest, I laughed. They go on, please cover planes, trains,
Speaker 1: and automobiles this holiday season. Hey, guess what we did.
Speaker 2: It's in your feed.
Speaker 1: It's in your feed. Growing up, my family watched it
Speaker 1: every year on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. And although I
Speaker 1: love it, I'm still not sure if it's even a
Speaker 1: good movie, and would love y'all's takes. I think it's
Speaker 1: a good movie.
Speaker 2: It's a good movie.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 2: I want to I have an update on this. Finish
Speaker 2: this out, and I do want to talk. I have
Speaker 2: an update on planes traising auto movie.
Speaker 1: I'm excited. Okay, So Cookies for Breakfast finishes love the
Speaker 1: pod ten out of ten.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Cookies for Breakfast. Yes, real quick. We are
Speaker 2: recording this in twenty twenty five. We are like deep
Speaker 2: into twenty twenty five. And I forgot to tell Paul
Speaker 2: this months ago when it happened at Christmas this year.
Speaker 2: I asked my assembled family. I was like, in that
Speaker 2: scene in Planes, Trains and Automobiles, and he says, those
Speaker 2: aren't pillows. Yeah, is he talking about is he talking
Speaker 2: about his butt cheeks or is he talking about his thighs?
Speaker 2: And I didn't tell them who was which one of
Speaker 2: us was on which side? And everyone agreed with you.
Speaker 2: Really everyone was like, it's butt cheeks, that's the joke.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, it's his thigh cheeks. Don't make any sense.
Speaker 2: And then someone pointed out to me he's wearing boxer
Speaker 2: short yeah, And because that was my whole thing, I'm like,
Speaker 2: he's wearing boxer shorts. You would know if your hand
Speaker 2: was between someone's butt cheeks. Yeah, through boxer shorts and
Speaker 2: there and then and they're not wrong. I don't remember
Speaker 2: which one of my uncles said this. They're like, but
Speaker 2: that would be like pillowcases.
Speaker 1: The shams the sham. The boxer shorts are the sham
Speaker 1: mess on the hams.
Speaker 2: And then I was like, fuck me. Paul was right
Speaker 2: and I was wrong. My whole family agrees with Paul.
Speaker 2: I want you to know that my family agrees with you.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you for representing me. Danny. I know
Speaker 1: you're listening. Thank you. No.
Speaker 2: I honestly, Danny was like maybe the only one on
Speaker 2: my side, but I think that's because I was in
Speaker 2: the room with him. He felt bad for me.
Speaker 1: All right, Sam, eighty eight miles per hour Cookies for
Speaker 1: Breakfast twenty two, twenty two. If you would like at
Speaker 1: that age ball tote bag, please let us know this
Speaker 1: is you. I would love to send it off for you. Erica,
Speaker 1: what is our spy movie finale?
Speaker 2: Today's film you all is the nineteen sixty four spy
Speaker 2: classic gold Finger.
Speaker 1: All right, So Goldfinger was specifically actually only requested by Marcus,
Speaker 1: but we obviously had a cavalcade of Bond movie requests this.
Speaker 2: Month, so many Bond movies.
Speaker 1: Michelle actually requested a whole double oh seven month, which
Speaker 1: we did briefly consider, but decided it would be it
Speaker 1: would be too much.
Speaker 2: It's a lot, It's so much misogyny, you guys.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So we decided to leave the Bond film up
Speaker 1: to our patrons. We pulled Goldfinger, our Sean Connery option
Speaker 1: against of You to a Kill, our Roger More option
Speaker 1: against GoldenEye, our Pierce Brosen option. We left the other
Speaker 1: ones out. Sorry, George Lasmbie, you didn't make the poll.
Speaker 2: Ha.
Speaker 1: Sean came out on top fifty three percent to Roger
Speaker 1: Moore's seventeen percent and Pierce Brosnian's thirty percent.
Speaker 2: Wow, I will say the Roger Moore one of You
Speaker 2: to a Kill did get more requests. It did then
Speaker 2: this one did. But also I also wonder how many
Speaker 2: people wrote GoldenEye thinking they were talking about Goldfinger, Yeah,
Speaker 2: and vice versa.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I will say that as soon as Goldfinger was
Speaker 1: in the poll, the presence of double O pantege was
Speaker 1: felt in the poll. I think.
Speaker 2: I think so. And also this that what is a
Speaker 2: classic for a reason. It's got kussy galore.
Speaker 1: It's got not a euphemism.
Speaker 2: It's got no mister Bond, I expect you to die.
Speaker 2: It's got all the class, it's got all the humdingers
Speaker 2: in it.
Speaker 1: It sure does all right. So Goldfinger is the third
Speaker 1: installment in the ongoing James Bond series. It was written
Speaker 1: by Richard Maybaum and Paul Den. It was based on
Speaker 1: the nineteen fifty nine Ian Fleming novel of the same name.
Speaker 1: It was directed by Guy Hamilton and stars Sean Connery,
Speaker 1: Honor Blackman, Gert Froeb, Shirley Eaton, Tanya Mallett, and Harold Sakata.
Speaker 2: Goldfigure won an Academy Award for Best Sound Effects, making
Speaker 2: it the first Bond film to win an.
Speaker 1: Oscar Now you've already previewed this a little bit erica.
Speaker 1: But while I'm glad it won for Best Sound, it
Speaker 1: was robbed for Best Song.
Speaker 2: Was there not a best song category?
Speaker 1: Back there? Yah? I checked there was chim chimmery from
Speaker 1: Mary Poppins.
Speaker 2: Was absolutely not no chim chimmery from Mary happens when
Speaker 2: the fucking oscar over Shirley Bassie's iconic gold Finger.
Speaker 1: Yes, look, Goldfinger is not even Shirley Bassi's best Bond theme.
Speaker 1: The best one she did is Diamonds Are Forever, but Goldfinger,
Speaker 1: those are the two best Bond themes ever, accept possibly
Speaker 1: Carly Simon's Nobody Does It Better.
Speaker 2: I really like Skyfall, Yeah, I really do. I'm a
Speaker 2: sucker for adult I.
Speaker 1: Think Skyfall is boring the movie or the song. I
Speaker 1: think I fell asleep in the movie, so I think
Speaker 1: I can safely say both.
Speaker 2: But yeah, no. Also, you know what, we dogged Paul
Speaker 2: McCartney in the last episode a little.
Speaker 1: Bit, and he deserves He deserved it.
Speaker 2: He deserved it for that one. But Livin Let Die
Speaker 2: is a fucking good song.
Speaker 1: It is a lot of the Bond songs are really good.
Speaker 1: I just feel like Shirley Bassy is the platonic ideal. Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: a British woman fog horning her way through a song.
Speaker 1: That's what I want. Concerned about US censors, the producers
Speaker 1: consider changing Pushing to Kitty Galore. Oh no, but they
Speaker 1: and Hamilton decided, quote, if you were a ten year
Speaker 1: old boy and knew what the name meant, you weren't
Speaker 1: a ten year old boy. You were a dirty little bitch.
Speaker 1: The American censor was concerned, but we got round that
Speaker 1: by inviting him and his wife out to dinner and
Speaker 1: we told him we were big supporters of the Republican Party.
Speaker 2: That is the greatest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 1: Apparently Honor Blackman enjoyed it so much she would force
Speaker 1: reporters to say the name to her and she was
Speaker 1: doing agrees about it.
Speaker 2: Yes, holy shit, this is the perfect what an amazing anecdote.
Speaker 2: You were a dirty little bitch?
Speaker 1: Oh, yes, I think what I've gotten When I.
Speaker 2: Was I would have I was a dirty little piss you. Well,
Speaker 2: come on, ten years old, we knew what the word
Speaker 2: pussy was.
Speaker 1: I'm genuinely not sure. I know my nephews one of it, Tana,
Speaker 1: I think, but I feel like I was more at
Speaker 1: shelter than they were.
Speaker 2: But like how sheltz, you went to school.
Speaker 1: That's true. Yeah, it's like I mean, I definitely would
Speaker 1: have known, Like Dick, I just feel like, like eighth
Speaker 1: pussy's a step.
Speaker 2: Above if you were not homeschooled by ten, you've heard
Speaker 2: you've heard someone called someone else a pussy.
Speaker 1: Wow, you live on the mean streets in Miami.
Speaker 2: I am sure of it. I'm absolutely sure if you
Speaker 2: even sheltered little Paul so I was a dirty little bitch,
Speaker 2: true dirty little bitch. Goldfinger has a shocking ninety nine
Speaker 2: percent critical rating on Rotten Tomatoes. We are grading on
Speaker 2: a curve here because I'm assuming this. These are critics
Speaker 2: in nineteen sixty four, I presume, and not the current
Speaker 2: day critics, and an eighty nine percent audience score. It
Speaker 2: has a one hundred on Cherry Picks.
Speaker 1: That's insane, that's hilarious. That is insae.
Speaker 2: This is what's this is all ass backwards. It should
Speaker 2: be a two thousand percent audience score. Yeh, because no complaints,
Speaker 2: a truly forty critical rating, and Cherry Picks needs to
Speaker 2: shut its dirty horror mouth. Yeah that's the correct Actually, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: they wouldn't call Cherry Picks a whore. This is bond,
Speaker 2: this is classier. Yeah, it would be like, oh, hello,
Speaker 2: Cherry Picks, why don't you put that pen down and
Speaker 2: play with my fiddle for a while.
Speaker 1: Why don't you stop over extending yourself and start extending
Speaker 1: your legs? Ha, this is so high. Look, I baseline
Speaker 1: enjoyed the movie. It's it's way more fun than it
Speaker 1: is not it's bonkers. But it's bonkers. It's not a
Speaker 1: ninety nine percent good movie.
Speaker 2: It is not even I mean, I'm being generous at forty. Honestly,
Speaker 2: I'm being generous.
Speaker 1: I would actually say because of what it is in
Speaker 1: the sense that like it is a comedy in many ways,
Speaker 1: like they do, they are aware they're being ridiculous.
Speaker 2: From the opening shot. Yeah you get comedy.
Speaker 1: Yeah I will.
Speaker 2: We will talk about that opening shot because I'm living
Speaker 2: for that opening. Yeah you get comedy.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So I would say the comedy land. The comedy
Speaker 1: lands way more often than it doesn't. Yeah, And and
Speaker 1: so for me, I would probably give it like a
Speaker 1: sixty five percent critical. But if we talk about like pacing.
Speaker 2: And special effects and a plot that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Yep, and uh and a way with the camera that
Speaker 1: lets the audience follow an action scene, No.
Speaker 2: None of that.
Speaker 1: None of that is yet fight choreo.
Speaker 2: No. No, you reminds me of a as I'm talking
Speaker 2: about it, I'm remembering you probably never saw this the
Speaker 2: old nineteen I want to say, seventy Batman movie starring
Speaker 2: Adam West.
Speaker 1: I've seen clips from it, I've never actually seen him.
Speaker 2: It has like all three of the main villains in it,
Speaker 2: and like it like Caesar Romero is and we're just Meredith,
Speaker 2: and like it's like that where they know they're making
Speaker 2: a comedy, but it's like an action movie, like wrapped
Speaker 2: in a comedy. And that's what this. This gave very
Speaker 2: strong that vibe.
Speaker 1: So Sean Connery is fully aware that he is in
Speaker 1: a comedy. Yeah, yeah, and actually to before I think
Speaker 1: Honor black Aakman knows too.
Speaker 2: Gert Froub, never seeing the guy who plays Goldfinger, he
Speaker 2: must know he's in a comedy.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Do you know I didn't know this going in.
Speaker 1: That is a dubbed performance.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: It is widely considered to be one of the most
Speaker 1: successful dubbed performances ever because he didn't speak English and
Speaker 1: he learned his lines phanatically, and they were like he
Speaker 1: was either too slow or they were unintelligible, so they
Speaker 1: would like, go and make him just say the lines
Speaker 1: phatically faster than dubbed an actor over him.
Speaker 2: I had no idea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really really good dubbing. All right, when did
Speaker 1: you first see gold Finger?
Speaker 2: Last night?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: Okay, true story A little behind the scenes of the pod.
Speaker 2: I was very busy this week, and I overscheduled myself
Speaker 2: and I didn't have time to watch the movie before
Speaker 2: we recorded this. So I came over early to Paul's
Speaker 2: house and last night I spent the night and we
Speaker 2: invited friends over. We made popcorn, Paul made popcorn, and
Speaker 2: we all watched Goldfinger together. So I watched it last
Speaker 2: night for the first time in your home with a
Speaker 2: group of our friends.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is.
Speaker 2: The absolute ideal way to watch this movie. Would I
Speaker 2: have enjoyed it like if I'd watched it by myself
Speaker 2: at home? Yes, one hundred percent. What I've laughed out loud. Yes.
Speaker 2: Would I have had half as much fun as I
Speaker 2: did watching it with other people? Absolutely not.
Speaker 1: This movie is almost like I want to watch a
Speaker 1: drag queen, like talking over it while it plays. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's it's It might be like just two ticks below
Speaker 1: that level, But I think it could be really fun.
Speaker 2: I think it's camp. You think it's I think pussy galore. Paul,
Speaker 2: pussy galore, pussy galore, pushy, pushy. He doesn't say shit,
Speaker 2: he says pusy, poozy, pusy galore.
Speaker 1: There's only one line in it, and I wrote it
Speaker 1: down where he gets a little of their going h huh.
Speaker 2: So, Paul, we all know my answer. When I saw
Speaker 2: this film for the first time, when did you see
Speaker 2: gold Finger for the first time?
Speaker 1: A mere two days prior to you, I saw this
Speaker 1: film for the first time. So much of Austin Powers
Speaker 1: is pulled from this It's so awesome.
Speaker 2: I have a same I actually said a line before
Speaker 2: it happened in this movie, and one of our friends
Speaker 2: was like, I thought you said you'd never seen this before,
Speaker 2: and I was like, no, that's from Austin Power.
Speaker 1: It's a direct lift from this film. I overall enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: I have some notes on the pacing that.
Speaker 2: Got funnier and funnier because we watched it with other people. Yeah,
Speaker 2: at one point, so late in the movie, when we're
Speaker 2: already so like tired, Yeah, there's like a slow elevator
Speaker 2: ride down the Bond takes and there's a full twenty
Speaker 2: seconds of real estate in this movie, and everyone just
Speaker 2: started laughing hysterically because we were just like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: why are we watching this.
Speaker 1: All right? Erica. The tagline for this movie was Miss
Speaker 1: Honey and Miss Galore, have James Bond back for more? Yes, Yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: but who's miss honey?
Speaker 2: Is it should have had money, miss money? Like moneypenny?
Speaker 1: Oh, miss moneypenny.
Speaker 2: It must have been a honey? Was it not a honey?
Speaker 1: No, it's it's it's it's Tilly and Jill Masterson or
Speaker 1: the other two women in it.
Speaker 2: There's no.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 2: Maybe that that first lady, the dancer in the er,
Speaker 2: Maybe she was honey. Maybe she was honey.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, okay, let's go with that's because I really
Speaker 1: want this to work. Yeah. How do you say honey
Speaker 1: in spanishell? Because this is funny. This is the exact
Speaker 1: right tone for this movie. Do you want to read
Speaker 1: the iTunes synopsis? Sure?
Speaker 2: In this fourteen Carrot Adventure and the third film in
Speaker 2: the Double O seven series, James Bond is pitted against
Speaker 2: one of his most memorable villains, the power hungry and
Speaker 2: infamous international gold smuggler Auric Goldfinger.
Speaker 1: Gold Finger ha ha.
Speaker 2: Goldfinger is not planning to rob fort not's no no no.
Speaker 2: I added that they did write no no no, they
Speaker 2: should have, though they should have. He intends to detonate
Speaker 2: a nuclear device in the fortress and contaminate the world's
Speaker 2: gold supply with radiation, making it unusable for hundreds of
Speaker 2: years and increasing tenfold the value of his own gold holdings,
Speaker 2: making him the richest most powerful man on earth.
Speaker 1: It's so one billion dollars.
Speaker 2: It's crazy funny too. It's like the reveal we are
Speaker 2: getting right now in this anopsis does not come until
Speaker 2: like an hour and fifty minutes in a two hour movie,
Speaker 2: Like they are giving it all away.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the movie is really I can't tell if it
Speaker 1: works or it doesn't work. It's just not how we
Speaker 1: would make a movie now. So maybe one of those
Speaker 1: situations like in spies like us last week, we're like,
Speaker 1: this is not how we consume entertainment anymore. But it
Speaker 1: really like it presents a problem, and then that problem
Speaker 1: is leads you to another problem. So you don't get
Speaker 1: to this problem until so far into the movie, and
Speaker 1: you spent so much time being like what are we
Speaker 1: actually looking for? And the thing is like Bond doesn't
Speaker 1: know what he's looking for because he's just been assigned
Speaker 1: to watch this guy. That's all he's told. They're like,
Speaker 1: we think he's smuggling gold, so maybe we can figure
Speaker 1: out how he's doing that, and then like we possess
Speaker 1: his gold. Yeah, that's the setup, and then an hour
Speaker 1: of movie goes by.
Speaker 2: An interminable golf scene goes by.
Speaker 1: That golf scene. I had seen this for Erica, and
Speaker 1: I told her and our friends, when you watch this movie,
Speaker 1: just think about when you're watching a scene and the
Speaker 1: scene comes to an end, if anything has.
Speaker 2: Actually changed, if anything happened.
Speaker 1: If anything actually happened to provide more information to change
Speaker 1: Bond's situation to anything. There's like four or five five
Speaker 1: minute stretches where the answer to that is no, Absolutely
Speaker 1: nothing happened.
Speaker 2: Nothing happened, no changes were made, no plot was developed.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: Paul, what is the actual synopsis for Goldfinger?
Speaker 1: The actual synopsis for Goldfinger is it was a different time.
Speaker 1: You guys don't understand.
Speaker 2: It was a different time. It's fine, it's fine. Stop
Speaker 2: feminists calmed the fuck down. It was a different time.
Speaker 1: It's a different time.
Speaker 2: Okay. Those women wanted to be exploited. They enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: They understood, they understood the insight.
Speaker 2: It was the only time a woman could get Yeah,
Speaker 2: do you not want honor black men to work?
Speaker 1: Come on, do you want her back in the kitchen?
Speaker 1: All right, everyone stick around, we're gonna play some commercials
Speaker 1: right here. If you don't want to listen to commercials,
Speaker 1: you can head over to our Patreon That is patreon
Speaker 1: dot com slash that age Well podcast. You can sign
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Speaker 1: episodes delivered to your podcast feed every Monday morning. But
Speaker 1: if you're not gonna do that, that's okay. Stick around,
Speaker 1: listen to these ads and we'll be right back to
Speaker 1: take you through gold Finger.
Speaker 2: Hello, pushy catch, We're back.
Speaker 1: Watch new push a catch who who?
Speaker 2: And we're back.
Speaker 1: And we're back all right. We open in what appears
Speaker 1: to be a South American country. Don't worry about it.
Speaker 1: He's in South America.
Speaker 2: It's a monolith, don't worry.
Speaker 1: Potentially Central America. Actually fair configure one right, a dock,
Speaker 1: kind of dirty garbage floating in the water, dark water.
Speaker 1: You see a bedraggled looking seagull swimming swimming through the dock.
Speaker 1: And then the seagull as we zoom in, it's not
Speaker 1: really moving in the same way a swimming bird would move.
Speaker 1: And then oh, up pops the head of James Bond.
Speaker 1: It's just a decoy seagull stuck on the top of
Speaker 1: his scuba suit.
Speaker 2: Okay, right here, this is it. They start with this.
Speaker 2: You know you're watching a comedy. Yeah, A man, a
Speaker 2: grown man, a grown man, a grown ass man has
Speaker 2: a giant stuffed seagull attached to the top of his
Speaker 2: scuba suit on his head. This is a comedy to
Speaker 2: provide cover, yep.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you're in a scuba suit, you're already underwater.
Speaker 2: He's under murky blackwater wearing a dark scuba suit. This
Speaker 2: wasn't necessary necessary at all. Film provided it anyway.
Speaker 1: So James Bond, if you don't know, I was played
Speaker 1: by one Sean Connery. Look, when I think of Sean Connery,
Speaker 1: I think of Sean Connery and Indiana Jones in The
Speaker 1: Last Crusade.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we have old Connery.
Speaker 1: I've never even seen that movie, but that is how
Speaker 1: I think of Sean Connery. I did not remember what
Speaker 1: young Sean Connery looked like, and I enjoyed it. I had.
Speaker 2: This is my first young Sean Connery movie. I think
Speaker 2: I've seen him pre like in the early eighties and things,
Speaker 2: so I've seen him earlier than like Indiana Jones, but
Speaker 2: he was still middle aged. Yeah, this is definitely the
Speaker 2: youngest Sean Connery performance I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: It looks a little like Jeen Kelly.
Speaker 2: Right to me, he looks a little like Jean Kelly
Speaker 2: with a sousson of Carry Grant's. Oh okay, there's a
Speaker 2: carry Grant as well too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, So James Bond is on a mission
Speaker 1: that frankly, neither I nor the movie care about. So
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just gonna move on. He sets explosives
Speaker 1: on a bunch of barrels marked nitro something that appeared
Speaker 1: to be sitting in the middle of a living room.
Speaker 1: That's it. I cannot explain it further that it's an office, right,
Speaker 1: I thought it was a living room.
Speaker 2: It's the strangest thing. So it looks like a Google office.
Speaker 2: It looks like it looks like someone went into a
Speaker 2: tech office.
Speaker 1: Right, but that's not what offices looked like in nineteen
Speaker 1: sixty whatever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't care what's happening either. You're right, it
Speaker 2: looks like a living room, but it also has like
Speaker 2: a nuclear thing in the middle of it.
Speaker 1: He sets off, not even on the side on a wall.
Speaker 1: It appears to be sitting in the middle of the
Speaker 1: living room like a like a showpiece. So he scadaddles outside.
Speaker 1: He strips off his wetsuit, revealing a perfectly pressed tuxedo underneath.
Speaker 1: He drops a rose in his lapal, and he heads
Speaker 1: to the local bar.
Speaker 2: And this was my first yeah, when I was watching
Speaker 2: the movie, because I love a quick change. I'm a
Speaker 2: quick change diva. In the bar, he makes eye contact
Speaker 2: with the dancer shaking her maracas. She looks like the
Speaker 2: poster for like, Welcome to Cuba, Welcome to Havana. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and she's like shaking her tits at this bar. Just
Speaker 2: as the explosion rocks a nearby building, So it's the
Speaker 2: explosion he set off. All the patrons rush outside, while
Speaker 2: the dancer gives Bond a look, a little saucy look
Speaker 2: as she stalks.
Speaker 1: Out, this is mishoney, we should this is Senorita.
Speaker 2: Senorita honeypots yea believe. His contact at the bar recommends
Speaker 2: that he not go back to his hotel. M James
Speaker 2: is like, don't worry, I'll be on a plane to
Speaker 2: Miami in an hour. I just have some unfinished business
Speaker 2: to attend to.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you caught this line, but the
Speaker 1: contact is like, oh, mister, whatever you took him down
Speaker 1: or whatever, and James Bond says, at least he won't
Speaker 1: be using heroin flavored bananas to finance revolutions.
Speaker 2: Yes, everything, yes, all of it.
Speaker 1: Uh huh. All right, So James Bond's unfinished business is
Speaker 1: obviously finding out if that dancer likes to be shaken
Speaker 1: her stirt? Right answer, both shake me up, stir me around,
Speaker 1: and then do it backwards.
Speaker 2: Haha.
Speaker 1: He heads up to her room. She's already in a
Speaker 1: full bath, beautiful tiled bathroom, full bath with the door
Speaker 1: wide open. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Actually it seems like an open concept dressing room, honestly,
Speaker 2: like and so the bathtub is just in the dressing room.
Speaker 1: He hands her a towel and they immediately start making out,
Speaker 1: and she exclaims, oh as the holstered gun on his
Speaker 1: chest digs into her side. So I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: Actually he's a line here. She goes, why do you
Speaker 2: always wear that thing? And he goes, I have a
Speaker 2: slight inferiority complex.
Speaker 1: Oh excellent. He takes it off. They commenced with the
Speaker 1: bang sash and we see a man appear from behind
Speaker 1: the boudoir behind Bond. He has like a pipe or
Speaker 1: something in his hand. He's gonna he's gonna bludge and Bond,
Speaker 1: Oh no. We see the dancer see the other man,
Speaker 1: and she says nothing, she's complicit. Oh my goodness on it.
Speaker 1: Then we see Bond see his attacker's reflection in Senorita
Speaker 1: Honey's eyeball.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, okay, we're gonna say that again, because you
Speaker 2: don't know. If you haven't seen it, you don't understand
Speaker 2: the awesomeness of what just happened. James Bond, while making
Speaker 2: out with this Honeypot, looks in deep into her eyes,
Speaker 2: sees the reflection of his assailant behind him in her
Speaker 2: mellow colored eyes.
Speaker 1: He swings around just in time, and he uses Mishoney
Speaker 1: as a human shield. She takes the blow from the assailants. Again.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna stop it here because if you didn't hear
Speaker 2: what he just said, you need to understand the hilarity
Speaker 2: that just happened. He uses her as a human chield.
Speaker 2: He puts her in front of him and she accidentally
Speaker 2: gets hit with the lead pipe. And because she's a villain,
Speaker 2: we're not meant to feel fo we don't care, we
Speaker 2: don't care. I'm throwing all my feminist ideals out the
Speaker 2: fucking window for this movie, it was.
Speaker 1: A different time. A Bond and his attacker scuffle. Bond
Speaker 1: throws the other man into the bathtub, but oh no,
Speaker 1: that's right next to Bond's holstered gun. The man starts
Speaker 1: scrambling for it, but Bond sees a plugged in fan
Speaker 1: next to the tub. He pushes it into the tub
Speaker 1: and then electrocutes his attacker, sparking everywhere, killing him. He
Speaker 1: gathers his things, he says.
Speaker 2: Shocking, positively shocking.
Speaker 1: And leaves theme song gold fingal. He loves only gold.
Speaker 2: I said destray Mission Impossible, and I'll say it again.
Speaker 2: If I heard this song forty five times during this movie,
Speaker 2: it would not have been enough.
Speaker 1: Yeah, in a not even close.
Speaker 2: Is this better than the Mission Impossible theme song?
Speaker 1: For me?
Speaker 2: It's two different They're fulfilling two different purposes. Mission Impossible
Speaker 2: theme song is meant to pump you up. This song
Speaker 2: is meant to make you feel sexy. Yeah, I love
Speaker 2: them both.
Speaker 1: I will say that given the number of instrumentals of
Speaker 1: this song in the movie, you may hear it forty
Speaker 1: five times.
Speaker 2: Honestly, the whole score is did you Moon River? Yes,
Speaker 2: Moon every time, every time they didn't have her singing Goldfinger,
Speaker 2: I was just hearing moon River.
Speaker 1: Why are they a mall?
Speaker 2: It's a moon that's fall love.
Speaker 1: River, a river fall of moons.
Speaker 2: Okay, I have to stop us here. If you watch
Speaker 2: one of these old timey bond movies, especially given a
Speaker 2: couple of weeks ago when we watched Tom Cruise fucking
Speaker 2: almost kill himself, what is it expected of an action now?
Speaker 2: What is expected of Daniel Craig? What we as a
Speaker 2: society have put Daniel Craig and Tom Cruise through? What
Speaker 2: we demand, well, we fucking demand of our actors now,
Speaker 2: and that they become professional fucking assassins to make us
Speaker 2: entertained was not a thing in nineteen sixty four. These
Speaker 2: are the laziest punches. These are the most half assed
Speaker 2: of throwing people across the rooms. Nothing lands, Everything looks.
Speaker 1: Dumb, yep, And it is a feature, not a bug.
Speaker 2: Every punches comes from four feet away and is so
Speaker 2: quickly and easily telegraphed. Truly, like, I cannot get over
Speaker 2: the difference between what an old action movie required, yeah
Speaker 2: for an audience to be entertained, and when a current
Speaker 2: day action movie requires it's insane.
Speaker 1: It's the delta is enormous, like chasm.
Speaker 2: I almost. I hope, I hope. Daniel Craig has not
Speaker 2: seen one of these since he was a child, and
Speaker 2: he remembers it differently, and he doesn't because if if
Speaker 2: you showed this fucking shit to Daniel Craig and then
Speaker 2: forced him to do one of his stunts that he
Speaker 2: has to do for his movie, he would be like,
Speaker 2: you need to pay me the most money that's ever
Speaker 2: been paid anyone in history, because otherwise.
Speaker 1: No, absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 2: What fucking connor he was getting away with. We cut
Speaker 2: to Miami Beach, where CIA agent Felix Lighter, played by
Speaker 2: the person's name is cec. I'm gonna guess check check
Speaker 2: or sex Linder.
Speaker 1: Oh maybe cecil cecil cess, Oh ceys maybe I don't know.
Speaker 2: Sex Felix Lighter, the character's name, walks through a resort
Speaker 2: area complete with a pool and an ice skating rink.
Speaker 2: Having grown up in Florida, I cannot tell you where
Speaker 2: the fuck they are. I've never seen that.
Speaker 1: But is the reason we have global warming? Now? Why
Speaker 1: is there an ice skating rink in Miami?
Speaker 2: Worth it? Moving on? Okay, I don't have time to
Speaker 2: dissect every moment of this movie. Felix finds Bond and
Speaker 2: a pair of teeny tiny, delicious swim trunks.
Speaker 1: I have to interrupt you. You must, I have to
Speaker 1: interrupt you.
Speaker 2: I must. Let's talk about this.
Speaker 1: Okay. First of all, Sean Connery delicious, no notes. I
Speaker 1: do not understand, as a man who has worn many
Speaker 1: swim trunks in my life, do not understand what the
Speaker 1: internal infrastructure of these swim trunks are. Because, to be clear,
Speaker 1: we are calling them swim trunks. They are boy shorts. Boys,
Speaker 1: they are tight. There is nary a hint of moose knuckle.
Speaker 1: And we will know later in the movie that Sean
Speaker 1: Connery is not afraid to hang down inside a pair
Speaker 1: of pants. So I want to know, did he talk.
Speaker 1: Did a drag queen come over and tuck Sean Connery
Speaker 1: into these shorts?
Speaker 2: I don't know, because yeah, he is packing here.
Speaker 1: You know that joke from from a Liar Liar, where
Speaker 1: they're like, how's it hanging to Jim Carrey's a short
Speaker 1: shrivel and always to the left. Not so for Sean Conray,
Speaker 1: big brawny and always to the left.
Speaker 2: Always to the left. Always to the left, a lean,
Speaker 2: mean and leaning neft.
Speaker 1: Yet, what if all of our pictures on Instagram this
Speaker 1: week were just Sean Connry's moose knuckle.
Speaker 2: I see no problems with that, no problem, none, none, whatsoever.
Speaker 1: He is the John Ham of nineteen nineteen.
Speaker 2: Sixty a thousand percent, except we actually know from those
Speaker 2: photos that John Ham dress is right. Yeah, he does
Speaker 2: not dress left.
Speaker 1: But they share a similar reversion to undershorts.
Speaker 2: They share they hanged on like nobody's business. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: I think those shorts are made out of tweed because honestly,
Speaker 2: they looked sick.
Speaker 1: They did.
Speaker 2: It did not look like like something that would be
Speaker 2: comfortable to swim in.
Speaker 1: I think what they were was like an elastic but
Speaker 1: ribbed Maybe that's what I got from you.
Speaker 2: You're also so short that like I think if if
Speaker 2: he if he hitched them up a little bit by accident,
Speaker 2: we would see the bottom of his penis. It's all
Speaker 2: or the top of his heat whatever, however you want
Speaker 2: to describe that.
Speaker 1: The tip. We see the tip. It's literally a situation
Speaker 1: of where is your penis? Because if it wasn't just
Speaker 1: a normal pouch.
Speaker 2: Right, I want everyone to know Paul is making hand
Speaker 2: gestures so that I understand what he what a penal
Speaker 2: pouch looks like.
Speaker 1: The shorts are so short that the pouch would hang low.
Speaker 1: You would get like one of those photos you get
Speaker 1: in like a like a like a gay magazine where
Speaker 1: the guy is wearing little boy shorts but his big
Speaker 1: old package is hanging like lower than the of the.
Speaker 2: Thought very attractive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, none of this is a complaint, to
Speaker 1: be clear. But his penis, which again we know is
Speaker 1: majestic based on evidence later in the film, has disappeared.
Speaker 2: Okay, here's what I think is happening. I think you're right.
Speaker 2: I think they used to make boy shorts like his
Speaker 2: four Men, and there was a.
Speaker 1: It just coiled it around that waist.
Speaker 2: No, no, I think I think there's an internal like
Speaker 2: cupping system that like sucks it up into your body. Almost.
Speaker 1: Yeah. It was in a time when people actually had modesty,
Speaker 1: is what you're saying.
Speaker 2: Yes, I think so. I think that's what's happening. We
Speaker 2: haven't even gotten to like the other sartorial choice of
Speaker 2: this scene that is frankly more important. He will be
Speaker 2: talking about it for even longer than we've already talked
Speaker 2: about this.
Speaker 1: We have been recording for forty minutes.
Speaker 2: Okay, So Felix finds Bond. He is getting a massage
Speaker 2: from a woman named Dink. Yes, Dink. She turns to
Speaker 2: him and she goes, Hi, I'm Dink.
Speaker 1: Sure.
Speaker 2: I don't know what to say you guys. Yeah, if
Speaker 2: pussy Galore is not the dumbest name in your movie,
Speaker 2: your name is Dink. And the man tells Bond that
Speaker 2: alas your vacation is over, mister Bond, we have work
Speaker 2: to get to. He's received word from m that I
Speaker 2: six has a new mission for Bond to keep an
Speaker 2: eye on our Rick Goldfinger. A Paul writes here British. No, No,
Speaker 2: he's German.
Speaker 1: Right in the movie they say he's British, but he
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like it. They actually say that in the movie.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, because I did I miss that? I miss that. Okay,
Speaker 2: he's British, but he doesn't sound like did Just make
Speaker 2: him Cherman, just make him Germany, just make him whatever.
Speaker 2: The fucking voiceover guy is Dutch. I don't know what
Speaker 2: that actor is doing. Okay, moving on, I don't have guys,
Speaker 2: there's too many stupid things. If we stop to talk
Speaker 2: about every stupid thing. This episode's gonna be eight hundred hours, okay.
Speaker 2: Goldfinger is a British businessman who was also staying at
Speaker 2: the resort. Unfortunately, we cannot tell you what else happens
Speaker 2: because at this point Erica and Paul go through a
Speaker 2: fugue state. He's like, there's Goldfinger over there, mister, And
Speaker 2: then the man turns back to mister Bond and is like,
Speaker 2: what are you wearing? Because Sean Connery, acting legend and
Speaker 2: icon v star Sean Connery has walked into a cabana,
Speaker 2: uh huh, and to cover himself up from because he's
Speaker 2: only wearing those boy shorts, he puts on a baby
Speaker 2: blue terry cloth onesie, a ramp fucking romper. The shorts
Speaker 2: are so short they are shorter than the boy shorts
Speaker 2: he is wearing, so the boy short things that were
Speaker 2: already so short are sticking out from under the romper.
Speaker 2: And an elastic ways complete with a belt feature a
Speaker 2: little belt, a jaunty little belt, and it's got a
Speaker 2: zip up and he leaves enough on zips you see
Speaker 2: the majestic rug of chest hair that must be shown
Speaker 2: in every Bond scene. My brain stopped, my heart stopped,
Speaker 2: my brain stopped. I'm younger now than I was when
Speaker 2: I started watching the movie. I first in.
Speaker 1: Time when he started putting it on, and like, I first,
Speaker 1: because it just looks like it looks like a robe.
Speaker 1: You think he's gonna go put on a bathrobe or
Speaker 1: like a kimono of some sort like which, And honestly,
Speaker 1: bond and a kimona would have been delightful enough.
Speaker 2: That would have been you had me at bonded a kimono, I.
Speaker 1: Would have been like, what a great gay moment.
Speaker 2: I bet you Pierce Brosnan did that at some point.
Speaker 1: But then he steps in to the pant legs of
Speaker 1: this ramper and he starts to pull it.
Speaker 2: Up, and you're like, well, okay, it's pants.
Speaker 1: And my brain started to, like you know when that
Speaker 1: fan fell into the bathtub and the scene earlier and
Speaker 1: everything sparked. That was what my brain was doing. What
Speaker 1: is it? It couldn't I couldn't come. Do you remember
Speaker 1: like five or ten years ago when there was like
Speaker 1: this thing like all the gay men were getting rampers
Speaker 1: and like the straits lost their mind about it. It
Speaker 1: was like anti masculine and it was like it was
Speaker 1: a whole thing.
Speaker 2: I actually forgot about that. I do remember when they
Speaker 2: expected women to wear them. Yeah, and I was not
Speaker 2: having it. No, there's a specific body type that can
Speaker 2: wear that shit and the rest of us.
Speaker 1: No, No, James Bond. This the paragon of masculinity right
Speaker 1: deep in poon at all times. James Bond. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say it again. For the cheap seats, a terry cloth
Speaker 1: baby blue onesie romper with short shorts and a belt feature.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna call them booty shorts.
Speaker 1: They're booty you're right, shorts.
Speaker 2: They're booty shorts. That's how short these shorts are.
Speaker 1: If he didn't have the boys shorts on, you would
Speaker 1: be getting under as.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you'd be getting under asked he could in those
Speaker 2: credibly credibly shorts.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Do we need to move on or should we just
Speaker 2: stop the episode?
Speaker 1: I think I think we've done it.
Speaker 2: I think we've done it. We're then there's a lady
Speaker 2: later that's gonna be pussy glorious. It's a funny and
Speaker 2: we're done. A lot of Asians for some reason, a
Speaker 2: lot of Asians. But it's not a good thing. You
Speaker 2: think it's gonna be a good thing. You're like, oh wow,
Speaker 2: look at the diversity.
Speaker 1: But all right, we will let you know when the
Speaker 1: scene changes and he is no longer in the ramper.
Speaker 2: Because if you think he's gonna serve you romper for
Speaker 2: like an appetizer, yeah, you are mistaken. The romper is
Speaker 2: the meal.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The romper is the roast.
Speaker 1: The ropper is there for a while.
Speaker 2: The romper is the potatoes. The romper is the veggie side.
Speaker 2: The romper is the thing.
Speaker 1: They said, Sean Connery, James Bond. He can seduce anyone.
Speaker 1: Let's up the difficulty level. Can he seduce a woman
Speaker 1: while wearing this outfit?
Speaker 2: The answer is yes.
Speaker 1: I will move on, but I will still be thinking
Speaker 1: about the romper. Goldfinger himself, Gert Frub appears. He joins
Speaker 1: a man who's sitting by the pool. Turns out this
Speaker 1: guy and Goldfinger played Gin together, and Goldfinger's been taking
Speaker 1: him for all the money he's worth for like days.
Speaker 2: But like ten thousand dollars, which I didn't do the math,
Speaker 2: but in nineteen sixty four money is like three billion
Speaker 2: dollars today.
Speaker 1: So he's going to sit down. He greets his quote
Speaker 1: unquote friend. He makes a point of wine to sit
Speaker 1: in his specific chair. He's an extremely obvious ear piece
Speaker 1: and wire, which I think is meant to he's acting
Speaker 1: as if it's a hearing aid. I think is what
Speaker 1: it is. Oh.
Speaker 2: I thought he was acting like it was like a
Speaker 2: radio when he was listening to classical music or something.
Speaker 2: I did not watch this film in the optimal conditions
Speaker 2: in which to actually pay attention, so I'm not sure.
Speaker 1: The only reason I say that is because at one
Speaker 1: point the guy says something, he goes what and he
Speaker 1: seems to like turn up the volume.
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, hearing aid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I think that's what we're going. Okay, So
Speaker 1: Romper Bond heads upstairs. He's like when he's walking, like
Speaker 1: the camera is low too, So he's.
Speaker 2: Walking because this director understood the assignment, and they're like,
Speaker 2: people want to see his ass moving in those shows.
Speaker 2: Women came here to watch this guy.
Speaker 1: Women came women can't period.
Speaker 2: Period. That's where that's where it ends. It's nineteen sixty four.
Speaker 2: We're not thinking about the gays yet. They're assuming straight
Speaker 2: women are coming to this so that later on that
Speaker 2: night when they're having sex, horrible vanilla boring sex with
Speaker 2: their husbands they are thinking of Sean Connery.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what if we get five Patreons signed
Speaker 1: up because of this episode, and you say you signed
Speaker 1: up because of this, I will do my best to
Speaker 1: find this rapper, and I will and I wear it
Speaker 1: and it on Instagram.
Speaker 2: Guys, you guys, that is That is a real fucking that.
Speaker 2: That's incentive.
Speaker 1: We have to start incentivizing people to sign up. I
Speaker 1: think we have to start offering that offering real shit.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine wearing this rapper and going to a
Speaker 1: Halloween party and being like, I'm James Bond.
Speaker 2: See who gets it?
Speaker 1: I'm a deeply accurate James Bond.
Speaker 2: If this romper does not exist, I will make one
Speaker 2: for Paul. I will learn how to sew and make one.
Speaker 1: All right. So he's upstairs. He lifts a key card
Speaker 1: from a maid and the maid is still attached. It's
Speaker 1: like a edge. So she's like, oh my god, what
Speaker 1: are you doing? And he just goes to Goldfingers Sweet
Speaker 1: and then made's like, that's mister Goldfinger's Sweet, and he's like,
Speaker 1: I know, don't worry about it, darling. And he's so
Speaker 1: handsome she just wouldn't report him.
Speaker 2: And she just goes Okay.
Speaker 1: He heads inside. He walks through, and on the balcony
Speaker 1: he finds Jill Masterson played by Shirley Eaton. She is
Speaker 1: relaying Goldfinger's opponent's cards to him through his wire. Right,
Speaker 1: so this is how Goldfinger's winning. He's cheating with the
Speaker 1: help of this woman.
Speaker 2: Yes, she's like she's looking at through binoculars.
Speaker 1: Yep. She turns around deeply underreacts to seeing a strange
Speaker 1: man and a baby blue terry cloth ramper approaching and
Speaker 1: then looming over her.
Speaker 2: You forget, it's shun Khan, it's shunk hotness.
Speaker 1: Privilege of the highest order, the highest order.
Speaker 2: A single woman in this movie is like, no.
Speaker 1: You wonder what. Actually, that's not true. One woman, at
Speaker 1: least briefly.
Speaker 2: One woman does not succumb to his charms right away,
Speaker 2: but for the most part, every other one is like okay, yeah.
Speaker 1: She tells him that Goldfinger pays her for her help
Speaker 1: with the card game and to be seen with him,
Speaker 1: but nothing else, because we don't want to think she's
Speaker 1: a whore. Yeah, Bonda side that the best thing for
Speaker 1: the greatest spie in the world to do at this
Speaker 1: point is to fuck with his mark a ha, So
Speaker 1: he commandeers the radio. He tells Goldfinger that he better
Speaker 1: start losing or he'll report his cheating to the Miami
Speaker 1: Beach Police. Which I don't think this is a crime,
Speaker 1: to be fair, it's shitty, but it's not a crime.
Speaker 2: Maybe gambling in and of itself is a crime, which
Speaker 2: means the other guy, you guy, would be get in
Speaker 2: trouble too. But also the idea that the Miami police
Speaker 2: would do anything about this is pretty fucking hilarious.
Speaker 1: So after that he sets about getting to the important thing,
Speaker 1: getting Jill to take a ride on his aston Martin nice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and at this point, the terry cloth baby blue ramper
Speaker 1: alas does depart the movie. Yeah, it does not appear again.
Speaker 2: If you liked watching him put it on, you're gonna
Speaker 2: love watching him take it off. Let me tell you,
Speaker 2: let me just put it that way.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So, okay, the two of them go to the Bone Zone.
Speaker 2: Do they stay there? They go to his room, right,
Speaker 2: they don't stay in gold Fingers, see, they go to
Speaker 2: his room. That's what I thought. So we're now gonna
Speaker 2: cut to Bond and Jill in Bond's room at this
Speaker 2: hotel Basking in the post coital glow. The champagne has
Speaker 2: gone room temperature, and James Bond has fucking rules about this.
Speaker 2: Champagne must be drunk at a certain temperature or it
Speaker 2: is garbage.
Speaker 1: Thirty eight degrees fahrenheit, to be precise, to be.
Speaker 2: Precise, because she's like, just drink it the way it is,
Speaker 2: and he basically looks at her like she's trashed garbage.
Speaker 2: How dare you? Yeah that I want to point that out,
Speaker 2: And I want to point out that he calls champagne
Speaker 2: passion juice. Oh, which is so gross.
Speaker 1: Oh pushy. I love your passion juice.
Speaker 2: Let me lictum passion juice. Off your off your sweet
Speaker 2: sweet melons.
Speaker 1: He says that you don't drink dom Perignon fifty three
Speaker 1: above a temperature of thirty eight degrees fahrenheit. That's as
Speaker 1: bad as listening to the Beetles without ear muffs. What
Speaker 1: I get it.
Speaker 2: It could be either you're going to a Beatles concert
Speaker 2: you have to wear ear muffs because all the girls
Speaker 2: are screaming because it'snineteen sixty for at this point, okay,
Speaker 2: or he's talking about headphones.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like, you listen to it so you
Speaker 1: can hear the.
Speaker 2: Music, you can really hear the music better. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: one of those I can't. I think it's the first
Speaker 2: because in nineteen sixty four they are still pretty much
Speaker 2: known as the band that teenage girls go to scream at. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so I think that's what's happening, gotcha, which case, Hey,
Speaker 2: fuck off, the Beagles are great. Shut up, Bond, you
Speaker 2: he's jealous your pretty little champagne rules. I love that
Speaker 2: he's a little bit about this. It really made me happy.
Speaker 2: So Bond heads over to the fridge for a new
Speaker 2: bottle of dom Perion. I'm not kidding, guys. He opens
Speaker 2: up that fridge stocked head to toe with Don Perignon
Speaker 2: fifty three. I don't know what spies earn. I don't
Speaker 2: know if this is in his writer, if he's like,
Speaker 2: if I have to fly all the way to America
Speaker 2: for an assignment, you are stalking my mini fridge with
Speaker 2: full sized bottles of champagne, at least like thirty thousand
Speaker 2: dollars worth of champagne. As he bends down to get
Speaker 2: the bottle, a hand appears and with a single karate chop.
Speaker 2: This is what they're walking in Austin powers when you
Speaker 2: go Judo chop. Yeah, it looks exactly like that. He
Speaker 2: is knocked fully fucking unconscious. Someone walks up behind him,
Speaker 2: does the thing that messus is due to the back
Speaker 2: of your neck? And James Bond goes down like a trout.
Speaker 1: What's the thing from Friends that Ross has unagi?
Speaker 2: Yeah, unagy.
Speaker 1: James Bond is severely lacking in hunagi for a superspy.
Speaker 1: He has no spatial awareness of anything that's going on
Speaker 1: around him ever in the movie, so.
Speaker 2: We only see the shadow of a man with a
Speaker 2: bowler hat on the wall. Ooh, a villain appears. When
Speaker 2: Bond wakes up, he finds Jill naked in his bed,
Speaker 2: painted head to toe in gold and she is Deadoo.
Speaker 2: This is a very iconic, fairly famous scene. It's fucking
Speaker 2: sexy too. Oh yeah, I hate to say it because
Speaker 2: she is dead and that's a bummer, But the like
Speaker 2: this woman has legs for days gorgeous and having them
Speaker 2: painted with like gold dust. She must have walked around
Speaker 2: that set feeling like a billion dollar I hope. So
Speaker 2: look how fucking sexy I am. He calls Felix immediately,
Speaker 2: his cia content to be like I have to. I
Speaker 2: hate to report this. The lady I just shagged to
Speaker 2: be fully dead.
Speaker 1: Oh no, oh dear, it wasn't me, it.
Speaker 2: Was she must have drunk the bad dumb per yon.
Speaker 1: How long was he unconscious from that karate chop because
Speaker 1: that okay, presumptively this is odd job. Will meet him
Speaker 1: later officially. But odd job is in the room, yep.
Speaker 1: Presumptively knocks out Jill first, then knocks out Bond or
Speaker 1: maybe that other way around which whatever. Yeah, Jill is unconscious,
Speaker 1: strips her naked, paints her head, and remember we will
Speaker 1: find out later there can be no breathing room. So
Speaker 1: he's got to get in between the hairs on her head,
Speaker 1: there's any spot that's not covering this paint.
Speaker 2: It doesn't work her inside of her ears.
Speaker 1: Inside of her ears, the bottom of her feet, in
Speaker 1: between her toes. He has to lacker this woman. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then she has to have time.
Speaker 2: To die and dry. Don't forget even longer.
Speaker 1: Prava strung her up first and then paint her like that,
Speaker 1: and then once she dried, put her back in the bed.
Speaker 2: I wonder if, like the bathtub is filled with the lacquer.
Speaker 1: Just a dipping situation. But then like Achilles and the sticks.
Speaker 2: But then you don't see like a trail from I
Speaker 2: don't know, So then he would have had to tarp
Speaker 2: the room. Yeah, put her in the lacquer, take her
Speaker 2: to the bed, detarp the room, right, clean the tub,
Speaker 2: drain and clean the tub.
Speaker 1: And that's not a quick clean.
Speaker 2: No, no, no no. So I would say Bond is
Speaker 2: conservably unconscious for thirty six hours.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that sounds about right. So we cut to Bond
Speaker 1: in London meeting with em played by Bernard Lee. He's
Speaker 1: lamenting Jill's death by quote unquote skin suffocation.
Speaker 2: By the way, real quick, there is a like conspiracy
Speaker 2: theory that this actress passed away because of the gold
Speaker 2: dust they put on this. It's not true. It's our
Speaker 2: friend who watched it with us last night was like, wait,
Speaker 2: was that true or not. I'm like, let me look
Speaker 2: it up because I'd never heard it, and it turns
Speaker 2: out no, it's like a it's like an old wives
Speaker 2: tale that Yeah, this woman actually lived quite a long time.
Speaker 2: She's fine.
Speaker 1: I think I think the tin man came closer, probably
Speaker 1: dying from that paint in the wish. They were so
Speaker 1: it was purely toxic.
Speaker 2: It was just as best that they were just spraying
Speaker 2: him with so.
Speaker 1: Em reminds him that the gold Finger assignment is not personal. Look,
Speaker 1: you were supposed to observe your mark, not fuck his girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Fair note.
Speaker 2: That is such a good note. Also like, truly her
Speaker 2: death is on you, buddy, a hundred percent, because you
Speaker 2: didn't actually murder her. But don't get don't get outsiders involved.
Speaker 2: I don't think James Bond is good, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: No, no, he's not great good at this. No, you're not wrong.
Speaker 1: Bond dessorrees m that he can be objective and he
Speaker 1: would like to continue the assignment. He leaves and on
Speaker 1: his way out, he has a very cute and somewhat
Speaker 1: retrograde interaction with Moneypenny played by Lois Maxwell. This woman
Speaker 1: played Moneypenny for fourteen films.
Speaker 2: She's amazing too, she's great, she's really charming, he's so funny.
Speaker 2: So basically the like if you've never seen one of these,
Speaker 2: which actually I hadn't, had never seen a Moneypenny like
Speaker 2: scene with this this dynamic in it. She's basically like,
Speaker 2: so when are you gonna like stop fucking around and
Speaker 2: marry me, and he's like, oh she's She's like, I
Speaker 2: want to have dinner tonight and he's like, I have plans,
Speaker 2: and she goes, oh plans. What's her name? But she's
Speaker 2: not really jealous, she's just it's like flirty and friendly
Speaker 2: and like they're almost on the same page. It's very
Speaker 2: very cute. Also this movie, the styles, the fits on
Speaker 2: the women in this movie, because it's nineteen sixty four,
Speaker 2: so stylish. There's more than one woman wearing an enormous
Speaker 2: oversized pinky ring. Money Penny is one of them. Hers
Speaker 2: just turquoise and it matches the exact color of her
Speaker 2: dress that she's wearing. Stunning, Okay, very stunning. So that
Speaker 2: night Bond meets with em and a banker. There's this
Speaker 2: hilarious scene where they're in a what appears to be
Speaker 2: a castle. Yeah, I don't know, I don't it's England,
Speaker 2: maybe that's the thing. First of all, like m when
Speaker 2: like earlier in the scene is like, you're having dinner
Speaker 2: with me tonight in a very important contact dress. We're
Speaker 2: wearing tuxes and I'm like, oh my god, this is
Speaker 2: so like so old timey. So they're dressed for dinner.
Speaker 2: They're all wearing tuxedos, they all have the world's largest
Speaker 2: brandy sniffers in front of them. It's a very long scene.
Speaker 2: Thank god, it's like visually very funny because like the
Speaker 2: scene itself, there's not much to talk about. Basically, we
Speaker 2: find out Goldfinger is somehow moving gold overseas and they
Speaker 2: don't know how. Right, so if they can determine that
Speaker 2: he's moving his gold illegally, they can shut down his
Speaker 2: whole operation.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: Bond decides to arrange a quote unquote chance meeting with
Speaker 2: Goldfinger and he gets it and I'm not like, You're
Speaker 2: gonna be like what And I'm like, look, I understand,
Speaker 2: I understand. What I'm about to say is so so ridiculous.
Speaker 2: He gets a not see gold bar, yep, a gold
Speaker 2: bar with a with a Schwatska in it. Honestly, though,
Speaker 2: even if this wasn't a thing and you wanted to
Speaker 2: say it was a thing, can't you just put a
Speaker 2: Swatsaka on a current day gold bar, right.
Speaker 1: Like you are a spy organization, mock one up, mock
Speaker 1: something up.
Speaker 2: But regardless, he gets Nazi gold yeah to use in
Speaker 2: his interactions with his target. Because that is apparently like
Speaker 2: a find if you're a collector of antique gold bars,
Speaker 2: the Nazi ones are apparently high on the list.
Speaker 1: Cool. Before leaving MI I six, Bond goes to meet
Speaker 1: up with Q, played by Desmond Llewellyn. He played Q
Speaker 1: seventeen times.
Speaker 2: He was Q for so long that I saw movies
Speaker 2: with him.
Speaker 1: Oh, so Q outfits him with a new car. It's
Speaker 1: an Aston Martin. There's bulletproof glass. There's rotating license plates
Speaker 1: for every country. Defenses include a smoke screen and an
Speaker 1: oil slick. He has mounted machine guns on either side
Speaker 1: and a passenger side ejector button built into the gearstick.
Speaker 2: All of these were written by Chekov yep. I want
Speaker 2: you to know all Chekhovs Chekhovs Q arement will all
Speaker 2: be deployed.
Speaker 1: He also gives Bond two homing devices, one large and
Speaker 1: one small that will report back to the car's dashboard
Speaker 1: and to headquarters. And he shows him like the screen,
Speaker 1: this big green s circle in the car where the
Speaker 1: homing device report back to it looks like she.
Speaker 2: Hulks tit HAA. By the way, I was looking this
Speaker 2: up while you were talking. Desmond Llewellyn passed away in
Speaker 2: nineteen ninety nine. He was in all the Bond movies
Speaker 2: up until nineteen ninety nine's The World Is Not Enough
Speaker 2: playing Q. So he was in I believe that's the
Speaker 2: last even of the Pierce Brosnan era Bonds. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: he was in all the Bond movies.
Speaker 1: You No Die Another Day is the Brosn's last one.
Speaker 2: I think, Oh, I don't know, Okay, I could be
Speaker 2: wrong about that. I'm looking at this man's IMDb, not
Speaker 2: the Bond Ones. So yeah, he is in. He is
Speaker 2: all the way up until the late nineties playing Q
Speaker 2: in these movies. That's incredible. Good times, good times. We
Speaker 2: cut to a golf.
Speaker 1: Course, a famously riveting sport.
Speaker 2: If you want to give Tom Cruise a fucking aneurysm,
Speaker 2: make him watch this movie, yeah, because he will be like,
Speaker 2: are you fucking kidding me? This man played golf for days, days,
Speaker 2: and I had to climb the tallest building in the world,
Speaker 2: fuck everyone, and he'll just like get depressed and eat
Speaker 2: a bucket of ice cream. The idea that they would
Speaker 2: put golf in a spy thriller is shocking, just shocking.
Speaker 2: Bond manages to engage Goldfinger in a quote unquote friendly game. Right,
Speaker 2: So he's set it up, so he gets hours alone
Speaker 2: with Goldfinger to pump him for information. It's a meet
Speaker 2: cute basically, Goldfinger introduces his caddy and manservant Odd Job
Speaker 2: played by Harold Sakata. Odd Job is they say he's Korean.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna assume the actors Korean too. I don't know
Speaker 2: if that's true or not. He does not speak the
Speaker 2: entire film. He's silent. He's like this big, hulking menacing presence.
Speaker 2: But he is dressed like an English butler the entire time,
Speaker 2: including a bowler hat. That is truly the dumbest thing
Speaker 2: I've ever seen up set to film, and I've seen
Speaker 2: so many dumb things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he is, in fact Japanese.
Speaker 2: You know what the name Sakata. I don't really know
Speaker 2: that much about Asian culture, I have to be honest,
Speaker 2: but the same Sicata did sound vaguely a Japanese comatie.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was like, that doesn't sound Korean to me. Oh
Speaker 2: keoki w Did I not just say he's because they
Speaker 2: didn't care.
Speaker 1: It was all the same.
Speaker 2: They don't care.
Speaker 1: They did not care.
Speaker 2: So Bond introduces the Nazi gold. At some point in
Speaker 2: the middle of the game.
Speaker 1: He just drops it on the green.
Speaker 2: As one does as when he's like, oh, this Nazi
Speaker 2: gold is weighing down my pocket. Maybe that's why my
Speaker 2: swing isn't swinging as much as it should. Goldfinger is
Speaker 2: like basically salivating at the Nazi gold and he's like
Speaker 2: ooh ooh, And he gets Bond to bet the gold
Speaker 2: bar on the outcome of the game, yep. And Bond's like, well,
Speaker 2: what I get if I win? And he's like, the
Speaker 2: money equivalent, the financial equivalent of the gold bar five
Speaker 2: thousand dollars, which again in nineteen sixty four, it must.
Speaker 1: Be so much money, so much money.
Speaker 2: Goldfinger cheats with odd jobs. Help right, he's dropping the
Speaker 2: wrong balls, he's moving around. I don't you know what, honestly, guys,
Speaker 2: I don't even know enough about golf to understand what's happening.
Speaker 2: And this scene is interminable. It's too long, genuinely, Paul,
Speaker 2: how long does it go? Do you think like six
Speaker 2: seven minutes?
Speaker 1: It has to be at least five minutes long.
Speaker 2: It's like in a movie that's just under two hours.
Speaker 2: It is so much realistic. Bond realizes that he's cheating.
Speaker 2: He allows Goldfinger to believe that he's won, but then
Speaker 2: pulls a swap on the golf ball to prove that
Speaker 2: according to the strict rules of golf. That everyone suddenly
Speaker 2: gives a shit about Goldfinger actually lost.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: So I'm what is this scene accomplish in the story?
Speaker 1: It like gives them a chance to meet.
Speaker 2: I guess I circle around each other.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you can also do that in thirty seconds.
Speaker 2: Uh huh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want to
Speaker 2: point that out. Nothing thing happens was accomplished.
Speaker 1: If you think this Nazi gold bar is going to
Speaker 1: be a crucial plot point, it will never be brought
Speaker 1: up again in the film.
Speaker 2: We were just forced to remember the Nazis for no
Speaker 2: fucking reason.
Speaker 1: Also, Moose knuckle watch. This is the first appearance.
Speaker 2: Of Big Sean, Yes, big Daddy Sean.
Speaker 1: Big Daddy Sean when he down to swap the golf balls. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a shadow.
Speaker 2: I didn't see it in this scene, but you and
Speaker 2: another one of our friends were like, well hella, and
Speaker 2: I was like, damnit, I miss it. I'll catch it
Speaker 2: next time.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So we cut to after the game. Odd Job
Speaker 1: is loading the car and Bond places the larger of
Speaker 1: his homing devices in the backseat. Goldfinger, who is a
Speaker 1: sore loser, comes over and makes it clear that he
Speaker 1: knows exactly who Bond is. He says, this is our
Speaker 1: second encounter. He warns, Bond back off. People think they
Speaker 1: want to play with me. They don't want to play.
Speaker 1: They do not want to play with me, mister Bond.
Speaker 1: He has odd Job demonstrate his skills with his bowler hat.
Speaker 1: Odd Job takes off his hat. He frisbees it across
Speaker 1: the yard, shearing the head off of a marble statue.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna pause here and repeat that yeap for
Speaker 2: those of you who are like, wait, huh, what what
Speaker 2: did you say? Here's what he said. The man takes
Speaker 2: off his bowler hat uses it like a boomerang, because
Speaker 2: it boomerangs back to him. Doesn't it doesn't, be sure
Speaker 2: in my head canon it does. That wouldn't make it
Speaker 2: any more stupid than what is actually happening. Okay, so
Speaker 2: it doesn't boomerang, fine, it should. If the if the
Speaker 2: filmmaker thought of it would happen, it would have fucking boomerang?
Speaker 2: Is it? You know what I think the shoe and
Speaker 2: Austin Powers does, and that's what I'm thinking of. By
Speaker 2: the way, the shoe at Austin Powers is stupid, but
Speaker 2: it's not stupider than the actual thing.
Speaker 1: The hat is actually stupid. Austin Power.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sorry, Mike Myers. You did an excellent job
Speaker 2: with Austin Powers, but you didn't this scene. You fucked up.
Speaker 2: The man takes off his hat and decapitates a marble
Speaker 2: statue with the sheer power of a bowler hat that
Speaker 2: otherwise doesn't seem to be reinforced with any steal or anything.
Speaker 2: It is simply a bowler hat. So it's the strength
Speaker 2: of the way that he's throwing it that's causing the
Speaker 2: decapitation of the statue.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you have any questions?
Speaker 2: No, okay, no, no, no, mister and he questions, Oh nope,
Speaker 2: he's just you know what, he's on his sheet cake.
Speaker 1: He's mister Cruz is sheet caking.
Speaker 2: Well, we'll ask him later what he thinks of this.
Speaker 1: So Goldfinger gives Bond the check, Bond gives odd Job
Speaker 1: the golf ball, and odd Job stares him as he
Speaker 1: crushes it in his hand like an egg. Goldfinger drives
Speaker 1: off and Bond follows him using the homing device.
Speaker 2: Bond follows Goldfinger all the way to Geneva, where we
Speaker 2: pick up with him following his targets up a mountain.
Speaker 2: It's peaceful, it's beautiful. The scenery is gorgeous.
Speaker 1: That is lovely.
Speaker 2: If nothing else by month has brought us vistas. All
Speaker 2: three of these movies have had absolutely stunning vistas. Bond
Speaker 2: looks behind him. He sees a I don't know, impatient
Speaker 2: young woman. She's played by Tanya Mallet. She's leaning on
Speaker 2: her horn. Move move it, buddy, and she speeds around him.
Speaker 2: He rolls his eyes. Women drivers a right right. Eventually,
Speaker 2: Goldfinger and Odd Job stop at a roadside stand to
Speaker 2: eat as villains do. Bond stops above them on the
Speaker 2: mountain and watches. We pull even further up the mountain
Speaker 2: and we see that the speeding woman from earlier before.
Speaker 2: By the way, she is a beautiful blonde, alabaster skin,
Speaker 2: blue eyes. I don't think I have to tell you
Speaker 2: that woman in the beginning of the movie, beautiful blonde,
Speaker 2: alabaster skin, blue eyes. Every single woman we meet in
Speaker 2: this movie looks exactly like the last woman she.
Speaker 1: Looks enough like Honor black Men that I know what
Speaker 1: Pussy Gilore looks like, and I know what Honor Blackman
Speaker 1: looks like. And I was like, is that Honor black.
Speaker 2: If you had told me that every single woman in
Speaker 2: this movie was played by the same actress, I would
Speaker 2: have believed you. Yeah, I would. I would have been like,
Speaker 2: Oh cool, what an interesting conceit. So this woman is
Speaker 2: leaning down on the mountain. She's watching them both through
Speaker 2: the barrel of a rifle. She takes aim and just
Speaker 2: barely misses Bond with her shot. He ducks back into
Speaker 2: his car and starts driving again, so.
Speaker 1: Bond pulls off. He lets the woman speed past him
Speaker 1: in her car and then starts a game of road
Speaker 1: chicken with her. She pulls past him, and he destroys
Speaker 1: her tire with one of his gadgets. She crashes off
Speaker 1: the road, luckily not off a sheer cliff, because most
Speaker 1: of this has been up a sheer cliff. But now
Speaker 1: there's a field.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's they're on the fucking matterhorn. How are they
Speaker 2: not falling off? By the way, I just want to
Speaker 2: point out the little gadget he uses the same thing
Speaker 2: that the Evil Gang uses in Greece to destroy Grease.
Speaker 1: You're right, it does.
Speaker 2: Are they called the scorpions what they call Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: that the scorpions used to defeat the tea birds in
Speaker 2: Grease in the movie Grease.
Speaker 1: So she crashes off the road. She's unharmed. He goes
Speaker 1: to try and charm her, but she's not interested. She
Speaker 1: is genuinely like fuck off, but she accepts his offer
Speaker 1: of a ride to a garage. She says garage, and
Speaker 1: he grabs a wooden case out of the back seat
Speaker 1: with the initials TM on it yep, starts driving her.
Speaker 1: She says her name is Tilly Solmes.
Speaker 2: It gets an eyebrow lift yep.
Speaker 1: And the wooden case holds her ice skates. So she says,
Speaker 1: holding the ice skates. This is the closest we get
Speaker 1: to a real Sean Connery line read you know when
Speaker 1: he goes lovely spot Haha, really really close. They arrive
Speaker 1: at a garage. They tell Tilly will be twenty four
Speaker 1: hours before they can replace her tires. Bond is like,
Speaker 1: all right, let me give you a lift a hotel.
Speaker 1: She's like, I can take care of myself. Get out
Speaker 1: of here. He finally takes the hint and drives off.
Speaker 2: Yep. What's funny is she thinks that he drove her
Speaker 2: off the road by accident, and like that her both
Speaker 2: her tires just popped by themselves, like the amount of
Speaker 2: carnage done to those tires. Like she had even half
Speaker 2: a brain, she'd be like, well, you just tried to
Speaker 2: kill me. Yeah, now fair because I almost just killed you.
Speaker 2: But this is getting awkward now, but we're even now, Yeah,
Speaker 2: now we're even bond. Eventually pulls up to Auric Enterprises,
Speaker 2: a large factory situated deep in the forests of the mountains.
Speaker 2: He observes from afar until night falls, and then makes
Speaker 2: his approach. As he sneaks through the grounds, he sees
Speaker 2: gold fingers employees, all of whom are Asian men in
Speaker 2: blue and gold outfits.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I cannot tell if this is Raycister.
Speaker 1: It's weird now.
Speaker 2: The actors all appear to genuinely be Asian.
Speaker 1: Yes, one hundred percent, but the outfits.
Speaker 2: Are of like a Chinese yeah, like they're meant to
Speaker 2: vocal like a certain look. And I can't tell if
Speaker 2: it's historically accurate, if it's what like a factory worker.
Speaker 1: I do not know.
Speaker 2: In China or Japan or Korea. I'm not even sure
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 1: I mean, these men I think are specifically meant to
Speaker 1: be Chinese, are they? Okay? The only one who has
Speaker 1: lines is Sky mister ling. Later they identify him as Chinese.
Speaker 2: God, that's right. They yeah, no, no, no, Paul, they
Speaker 2: don't read identify him Chinese. They identified him as a
Speaker 2: red Chinese.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: They say, a red Chinese.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, didn't love how that made me feel?
Speaker 2: Hello nineteen sixty four. Yeah, I genuinely don't know. I
Speaker 2: don't have any historical context. This movie was filmed in
Speaker 2: nineteen sixty four. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: And to be clear, the movie makes no point of
Speaker 1: explaining why all of ORX employees are Asian men. I
Speaker 1: think the movie things is because golfing Or has this
Speaker 1: deal with the Chinese government. So like the idea is
Speaker 1: like he's been provided these men by the Chinese government
Speaker 1: to do his bidding, because like, I think that's the implication,
Speaker 1: but that's never made clear. So to a casual viewer,
Speaker 1: it just appears that for some reason, he has like
Speaker 1: a seemingly never ending clown car of Asian Asian men.
Speaker 1: Dozens of these men will die in the course of
Speaker 1: this film. All right, that's true, and it's it's almost
Speaker 1: just weird, like it is.
Speaker 2: Honestly, their presence isn't what I think is racist. I can't.
Speaker 2: I can't determine if the outfits or the racist thing
Speaker 2: or not that. And it's very possible the or not.
Speaker 2: And I'm just being overly sensitive to it because I
Speaker 2: don't know what, Yeah, what am I looking at? And
Speaker 2: the script for this movie is so backwards and like
Speaker 2: loose and like was written on a bunch of napkins
Speaker 2: and then thrown at the actors like, I don't know,
Speaker 2: make something of this that, like none of this makes
Speaker 2: any sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So he sees Goldfingers speaking with the associate mister
Speaker 1: Ling that we just discussed that mister Ling is a
Speaker 1: Chinese nuclear fission exit.
Speaker 2: A red Chinese, Red Chinese. It's so weird.
Speaker 1: Goldfinger is explaining that basically, he takes his gold, he
Speaker 1: melts it down, he gilds his rolls Royce in gold,
Speaker 1: then he ships his car to other countries and the
Speaker 1: gold is smelted back down. Now we know how he's
Speaker 1: smuggling gold Erica. This could not possibly matter less to
Speaker 1: the rest of the movie. Forget it, it does not matter.
Speaker 2: It does matter a little tiny bit later for something
Speaker 2: absolutely hysterical.
Speaker 1: But you're right, Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 2: But but again, this is how he's smuggling his gold.
Speaker 1: Now we know.
Speaker 2: Honestly, James's mission is over yea, because all he had
Speaker 2: to do was find out how he smuggled his gold.
Speaker 2: He found out, He's good, should be a hop on
Speaker 2: the next plane in England and be like I figured
Speaker 2: it out everyone.
Speaker 1: Yep. More important is Bond overhearing Goldfinger mentioned to mister
Speaker 1: Ling Operation Grand Slam.
Speaker 2: They're into baseball.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Bond heads back to the forest and he sees the
Speaker 2: same woman from before, Tilly Solmes, setting up a shot. Honestly,
Speaker 2: it's set up to make it seem like she is
Speaker 2: a professional snake, yeah, or like sharpshooter. Right, it's so
Speaker 2: not the case. He tackles her and her gun flies
Speaker 2: up out of her hand and accidentally touches one of
Speaker 2: the like the trip wires on the estate and sets
Speaker 2: off an alarm. It turns out that her name is Tilly,
Speaker 2: but her last name is Masterson. She is out for
Speaker 2: revenge on Goldfinger because she is Jill's sister, Jill, the
Speaker 2: lady that he turned into a gold bar earlier in
Speaker 2: the film. And the shot that just missed Bond earlier
Speaker 2: was not for Bond, it was for Goldfinger. She missed
Speaker 2: Goldfinger and almost killed Bond and and said, I don't
Speaker 2: think she's a sharpshooter, Paul.
Speaker 1: Turns out she's just a really terrible shot and also
Speaker 1: has a rifle.
Speaker 2: Turns out she's not a sniper. She's a fucking school
Speaker 2: teacher with a gun. So because the alarm is gone off,
Speaker 2: these two have to stop their little fight and flee
Speaker 2: because a bunch of guards have started approaching. Armed guards,
Speaker 2: he rushes her into his car. They flee by car
Speaker 2: by Aston Martin and despite Bond pulling out all of
Speaker 2: his defenses, this is where that scene with Q pays off.
Speaker 2: We see the oil slick, we see the smoke screen,
Speaker 2: smoke screens.
Speaker 1: With machine guns, the bulletproof glass.
Speaker 2: All of it. He uses all of that stuff, but
Speaker 2: more men keep coming, because like you said, there's an
Speaker 2: endless amount of henchmen in gold Fingers payroll. They wind
Speaker 2: up cornered on a cliff. He tells Tilly to run
Speaker 2: into the surrounding forest when when he says go, he
Speaker 2: says go and she runs for it. Only a last
Speaker 2: odd job is on the scene, dum foot. He throws
Speaker 2: his bowler hat and hits Tilly with it. She falls
Speaker 2: to the ground, Bond rushes over to her and she's dead. Okay, yes,
Speaker 2: bye bowler hat.
Speaker 1: First of all, First of all, how did this hat not?
Speaker 1: Shear her head right off and sheered through marble.
Speaker 2: It cheered through marble.
Speaker 1: Do you think it has settings like a blender? Yes,
Speaker 1: like like it was on. It was on. It was
Speaker 1: on puret before, but now it's a bludgeting weapon, a
Speaker 1: crushed Aha.
Speaker 2: This movie wrote a check and fucking cashed it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: this is so stupid. She literally it just hits her
Speaker 2: on the head very lightly and she goes, oh it
Speaker 2: falls down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's it. Dead bird bones on a woman.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say it again for the cheap seats death
Speaker 2: by bowler hat. Our parents loved this movie, you guys.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they thought it was great.
Speaker 2: All of our dads thought this was fucking cool. I
Speaker 2: just want that context out in the open. Yeah, all
Speaker 2: of our dads thought this was cool.
Speaker 1: It's also really nice of everyone to stop shooting so
Speaker 1: Bond can run over to her. It's like firefight, firefight, firefight,
Speaker 1: bowler hat dead, everyone stops as Bond runs over.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let him check on his girl, for God's sake.
Speaker 2: Bond is surrounded and captured.
Speaker 1: All right. There's a long sequence a Bond attempting to flee,
Speaker 1: most notable for its use of the final Chekhov defense
Speaker 1: the passenger side ejector.
Speaker 2: Seat, which is fucking awesome.
Speaker 1: It was awesome. But for some reason they've they've loaded
Speaker 1: Bond back into his own car and make it they're
Speaker 1: making him drive back to the factory.
Speaker 2: Sure like there's a man holding a gun to Bond's head,
Speaker 2: so he drives in the direction where the rest. And
Speaker 2: it's not one car, there's like six cars.
Speaker 1: In the fleet. Yes, so there's also a small Swiss
Speaker 1: grandmother using a machine gun. Very fun, also awesome. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's also complete incoherence as far as to what is
Speaker 1: exactly happening. They like, go through the gate, he drives
Speaker 1: back out of the gate, so you think he's in
Speaker 1: the forest, but he's not in the forest. He's still
Speaker 1: on the grounds there. It is almost like like like
Speaker 1: a chase scene in a comedy movie where people keep
Speaker 1: running back and forth across the same thing. Like it's
Speaker 1: really incoherent.
Speaker 2: Honestly, I'm trying to even remember it. I watched it
Speaker 2: twelve hours ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Bond winds up eventually crashing into a wall and
Speaker 1: knocking himself unconscious. So he's captured again at the end
Speaker 1: of this, making this entire thing narratively pointless. Excellent, nothing
Speaker 1: happened here. He is captured at the beginning, He is
Speaker 1: captured at the.
Speaker 2: End, narratively pointless, but ejection seat point full.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Bond wakes up mmmm, strapped spread eagle to a table.
Speaker 2: It's like this movie read my diary. Goldfinger jovially greets
Speaker 2: him as Double O seven. He's like, hello, Double O seven,
Speaker 2: I know exactly who you are. He wants to show
Speaker 2: him his new industrial laser that can see if I
Speaker 2: can get through this, that can project all the way
Speaker 2: to the moon. It can laser a spot to the moon,
Speaker 2: or also cut through solid.
Speaker 1: Gold a little more earth bound use.
Speaker 2: He demonstrates his capabilities by having it start to cut
Speaker 2: through the solid gold table that Bond is strapped to.
Speaker 2: Bond is strapped spread eagle. I don't know if I
Speaker 2: said that part spread Eagle again, all your dreams. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say it the third time, I really spread
Speaker 2: eagl What if.
Speaker 1: He was in the terry cloth baby blue rampa, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, it would have been obscene.
Speaker 2: This is actually that would be pornography. That would have
Speaker 2: been that would have been banned in the United States.
Speaker 2: And honestly, I'm with the censors on that one.
Speaker 1: There's no way you're not getting sidecock.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm with the MPAA on that one. So the
Speaker 2: laser starts creeping ever closer to Bond's greatest weapon, his
Speaker 2: cocktail stick and Martini olives. What do we think James
Speaker 2: Bond's singed pubs smell like I would say leather and whiskey.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, I was gonna say baby powder
Speaker 1: and aqua velva.
Speaker 2: Brought worst and dreams come true exactly. Oh god, Hagis haggis. Yes,
Speaker 2: you're right, it wouldn't be brought worst. It would be
Speaker 2: haggis and fresh like moss from the from the Highlands
Speaker 2: Highlander moss. When his pubes start to singe, they sound
Speaker 2: like like bagpipes rolling to the hills. So it is
Speaker 2: the slowest laser ever this is where we start to
Speaker 2: get because we've gotten that we haven't really gotten to
Speaker 2: this part of the movie yet. This is where it starts. Uh,
Speaker 2: Bond being put in increasingly dangerous situations that are also
Speaker 2: unbelievably slow. If we took the time to watch as
Speaker 2: the laser makes it all the way to his balls,
Speaker 2: it would take hours.
Speaker 1: It is so slow.
Speaker 2: But he's getting increasingly nervous, as one would, right, and
Speaker 2: he's like, what do you expect me to talk just
Speaker 2: because you're gonna singe my penis off? Because I will,
Speaker 2: And of course Goldfinger says the iconic line from the movie, No,
Speaker 2: mister Bond, I expect you to die amazing. He exits
Speaker 2: the room as they make fun of an Austin powers
Speaker 2: to not actually watch the guy die.
Speaker 1: Desperate, Bond says, I know about Operation Grand Slam. The
Speaker 1: laser creeps ever closer to Bond's crown jewels as Goldfinger
Speaker 1: hems over his decision if what to do.
Speaker 2: He has time to think about this though, because I
Speaker 2: can't tell you enough that laser is hours away from
Speaker 2: actually hitting his anything.
Speaker 1: It's one of the lesser known slug lasers. Hah. Luckily,
Speaker 1: for the heterosexual female population of the world. Goldfinger decides
Speaker 1: that Bond is worth more to him alive. After all,
Speaker 1: Bond says, hey, if I die, double A eight will
Speaker 1: be deployed. And he knows everything I know, So if
Speaker 1: Goldfinger keeps Bond alive, then at least he will have
Speaker 1: eyes on the enemy. He has another faithful servant, a
Speaker 1: man named Kish, turn off the laser and knock Bond
Speaker 1: out with a tranquilizer.
Speaker 2: Is okay? Question?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Is it like Buffy? And like The Slayers where one
Speaker 2: dies and then another one is called up? Have there been?
Speaker 2: Is a double A one, double A two like? Is
Speaker 2: it triple zero like triple Z? Double O one, double
Speaker 2: O two double? Are they all dead? And that's why
Speaker 2: we have double O seven?
Speaker 1: That's interesting? I don't know.
Speaker 2: Are they like concurrently up to nine double oh one
Speaker 2: nine nine out in the field elsewhere? And why is
Speaker 2: double oh eight the one that's back up for double
Speaker 2: oh seven?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Misumably double eight is out there doing his own thing, because.
Speaker 1: If they're ranked the then Bond should be double A
Speaker 1: one or double O nine, depending on the ranking set.
Speaker 2: I think it's not a ranking system. I think it's
Speaker 2: when they were hired. It's a hiring system. So he
Speaker 2: is the seventh of this class of superspy that was
Speaker 2: hired to the team. Okay, let's presume. Let's presume not
Speaker 2: there's no triple Z. Let's presume it starts at double
Speaker 2: O one and goes up to double O nine.
Speaker 1: All right, with that figured out, we are about halfway
Speaker 1: through the movie. Erica, shall we take a short break? Sure,
Speaker 1: we will be right back after these messages.
Speaker 2: Do you expect us to break, Paul.
Speaker 1: No, Erica, I expect us to pee and we're back.
Speaker 2: Bond wakes up on an airplane to his favorite site.
Speaker 2: A beautiful blonde woman that looks exactly like every other
Speaker 2: woman he's looked at for the last three weeks. She's
Speaker 2: hovering over him. This is the one, the only pussy Galore,
Speaker 2: pussy poosy pussy Galore, played by Honor Blackman. Honestly, the
Speaker 2: name Honor Blackman is.
Speaker 1: So good that's almost yeah, It's like that's.
Speaker 2: Almost a Bond villain name too. They didn't have to
Speaker 2: go the extra mile and give us pussy Galore, but
Speaker 2: they did, and I bless them for it. She is
Speaker 2: and I was not expecting this because I really had
Speaker 2: never given this movie any thought.
Speaker 1: Before watching it last night.
Speaker 2: I knew there was a woman named pussy Galore in it,
Speaker 2: and I was like, period, end of story, period, end
Speaker 2: of story, and it's going to know. And if you
Speaker 2: had asked me what is pussy Galore's profession, I would
Speaker 2: have said, like gangster's malla or a professional assassin.
Speaker 1: A cabaret singer.
Speaker 2: The answer would not have made the top one thousand
Speaker 2: guesses of what I thought pussy Galore does for a
Speaker 2: living in this film, Guys, Pussy Galore is Goldfingers private pilot.
Speaker 2: She a pilot. That means, at some point in her
Speaker 2: life before she got this private gig, she worked for
Speaker 2: a commercial airline. She worked at TWA, and passengers going
Speaker 2: from Paris to Berlin had to hear this is your pilot,
Speaker 2: pussy Galore. You are going to take off the seatbelt
Speaker 2: sign because it seems like we're gonna have smooth skies
Speaker 2: here for a while and we'll be in Berlin in
Speaker 2: about four hours, so just smoke them if you got them,
Speaker 2: enjoy your in flight entertainment, whatever the fuck that was.
Speaker 2: In nineteen sixty four, and once again, this is your pilot,
Speaker 2: pussy Galore.
Speaker 1: Even it's even better because she also has like a
Speaker 1: kind of almost a Catherine Hepburn accent.
Speaker 2: She does.
Speaker 1: She's like, Hello, this is your pilot, pussy Galore.
Speaker 2: Hello, this is pussy Glare, your pilot speaking. That's right,
Speaker 2: you heard me, pussy Galore. They let me fly this
Speaker 2: plane that you and your family are on. I don't
Speaker 2: want to be sexist, No, I don't.
Speaker 1: I do. She is proven in the movie to be
Speaker 1: in excellent pilot.
Speaker 2: But if I get on a fucking plane and it's.
Speaker 1: A woman pilot.
Speaker 2: And it is a Brittany, I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding.
Speaker 2: You need to be Susan. I need a real fucking
Speaker 2: adult name. If your name is Finn. If you're like, hi,
Speaker 2: I'm a male pilot and my name is Finn, I'd
Speaker 2: be like, no, no, absolutely, who is your co pilot?
Speaker 2: Is their name something normal? Because that's who I want
Speaker 2: flying this fucking plane. I want a man or a
Speaker 2: woman who was alive in the seventies flying this. I
Speaker 2: want Sully Sullenberger or nothing. So once again, our pilot,
Speaker 2: pussy Galore, he does.
Speaker 1: Say, I must be dreaming. She says that.
Speaker 2: Who I should mention at this moment in the film,
Speaker 2: it's not piloting. The plane they are on is in
Speaker 2: the is in the is out in the general seating
Speaker 2: area with mister Bond. She tells him that she's flying
Speaker 2: him to Goldfingers private estate, where he will be a
Speaker 2: quote unquote guest, also known as a hostage. He tries
Speaker 2: to charm her with his James BONDI and charms, but
Speaker 2: she's like, no, no, no, sir, I am immune to
Speaker 2: your chums, so just put them away. I'm pussy galore.
Speaker 1: I did kind of believe her. She put him in
Speaker 1: his place pretty well.
Speaker 2: I think so too. I like, yes, I agree. She's
Speaker 2: she's a professional pop She's a fucking pilot.
Speaker 1: She is a private pilot.
Speaker 2: Professional Take her seriously. She is a pupa private pilot,
Speaker 2: n a pussy galore.
Speaker 1: All right. As they near their destination, Bond asks to
Speaker 1: freshen up in the bathroom. So there is a there
Speaker 1: is an Asian flight attendant, because of course there is.
Speaker 1: Her name is Miley. She tries to spine him through
Speaker 1: the peepole through this little like hidden people. He keeps
Speaker 1: foiling her while he's in the bathroom, Bond activates the
Speaker 1: mini homing device and hides it inside the heel of
Speaker 1: his shoe. He eventually re emerges in a three piece
Speaker 1: gray suit. And if you are a moose knuckle watcher,
Speaker 1: this is where you are going to get your money's worth.
Speaker 2: Yes, this is where I saw it.
Speaker 1: And I was like, whoa. Yeah, there's repeatedly throughout this
Speaker 1: movie because he's in this suit for a while.
Speaker 2: He's hanging down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's hanging down.
Speaker 2: No other way to say, no other way to say it.
Speaker 2: If she is Pussy Galore, he is, he is.
Speaker 1: He is sausage links McGee.
Speaker 2: Yep, yep, yep, yep.
Speaker 1: So he walks out, Pussy is there, and she tells
Speaker 1: him behave or I'll shoot you. And this is in
Speaker 1: a trank gun, it's a real one. And he points out, Oh, Pussy,
Speaker 1: you know more about planes and you about guns. If
Speaker 1: you shoot me here, the bullet will go through me
Speaker 1: and then through the fuselage and they'll both be sucked
Speaker 1: out into outer space. But you know, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1: I prefer more common landing. Excellent. He promises to make
Speaker 1: no trouble when being transferred to Goldfinger.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, well, while this foreplay in the sky is going on.
Speaker 2: By the way, I want to just clock something very
Speaker 2: very quickly. This film technically passes the Bechdel test. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because Miley and Pussy Galore talk about they are talking
Speaker 2: about a man. They're talking about James Bond, but they're
Speaker 2: talking about him in the context of he is work.
Speaker 2: So they're talking about like how to foil him, how
Speaker 2: to follow him, what to do, like they're talking about
Speaker 2: their jobs. So I'm gonna give this a Bechdel test pass,
Speaker 2: which was unexpected.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is shocking, shocking, positively shocking, shocker.
Speaker 2: This is the first film, the only film this month
Speaker 2: that passes the Bechdel test. Just go ahead and take
Speaker 2: a nap, right now.
Speaker 1: It's a squeaker, to be clear, the squeaker, but.
Speaker 2: I'm going to give it a pass.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So while this is happening, we see Felix reporting to
Speaker 2: em that Bond's homing signal has gone online. EM tells
Speaker 2: him to keep an eye on it, but not to
Speaker 2: blow the operation. Trust Bond. He knows what he's doing.
Speaker 2: He's got everything under control. Yeah, obviously, Pusher Captain Pussy.
Speaker 2: Captain Pussy pulls the plane again. I can't get it
Speaker 2: over it. She's a fucking pilot. It's just not what
Speaker 2: I was expecting. Captain Pussy pulls the plane into a
Speaker 2: hangar marked Pussy Galore's Flying Circus and we learn a
Speaker 2: that Pussy Galore has a flying circus and b it
Speaker 2: is located in the great state of Kentucky. Despite the
Speaker 2: fact that this woman sounds like she just walked off of.
Speaker 1: A fucking a state in Connecticut, a state.
Speaker 2: In Connecticut, She just walked off a lobster boat in Maine,
Speaker 2: but she is actually a Kentuckian with a flying circus.
Speaker 2: Bond sees the other planes in Pussy Galore's flying circus
Speaker 2: fleet and remarks on how impressive those pilots are. There
Speaker 2: are the blue Angels of their day they are doing.
Speaker 2: They're bobbing and weaving through the sky. Yeah, she says,
Speaker 2: of course they're impressive. She trained them all. Pussy Galore
Speaker 2: doesn't miss odd Job is there to take custody of Bond,
Speaker 2: and she's like, goodbye, mister Bond, and Bond wars Pussy
Speaker 2: that odd Job is known to kill women, and she goes, well,
Speaker 2: he's also known to kill men, isn't he? And so
Speaker 2: she understands the stakes, she knows exactly who she's working for.
Speaker 2: She's not dumb dumb, she's also very very strong. They
Speaker 2: drive off the planes land and we see that all
Speaker 2: of her planes are piloted by women who look exactly
Speaker 2: like Honor Black men.
Speaker 1: Bond would not know where to point his deck and
Speaker 1: he would like and also, just to be clear, so
Speaker 1: this flying circus is indeed pussy galore.
Speaker 2: Oh, oh my god, it is excellent, yeah, excellent, honestly,
Speaker 2: And this must be where like Austin Power got the
Speaker 2: ideas for the fembots, like, but they got the idea
Speaker 2: for that in Austin Powers because it is like they
Speaker 2: are fembots. They report that dress rehearsal went like a dream.
Speaker 2: So they're rehearsing for some unknown aerial act.
Speaker 1: All right, So we cut to a large horse farm
Speaker 1: called Auric stud I don't love that. Bond is greeted
Speaker 1: by Goldfinger and promptly locked in a cell in the basement.
Speaker 1: We also see that Felix, that's the American CIA contact
Speaker 1: from the beginning of the movie who reported that the
Speaker 1: homing signal is online. Felix is in the area, but
Speaker 1: he is keeping his distance, as instructed by Am, don't
Speaker 1: mess with Bond. He knows what he's doing.
Speaker 2: This is one of those horse farms in Kentucky that
Speaker 2: also has a dungeon. Yeah, like, just to be clear,
Speaker 2: I didn't want anyone to gloss over that this is
Speaker 2: a horse farm in Kentucky that also has a dungeon.
Speaker 1: Moving on, moving on, Kish that's the other. That's Goldfinger's
Speaker 1: other right hand man tells him that his guests are here.
Speaker 1: We cut to an enormous great room where mob bosses
Speaker 1: from all over the country, most importantly one mister Solo
Speaker 1: await Goldfingers arrival. Hubbub hubbub, PE's and carrots, peas and carrots.
Speaker 1: They're talking, they're talking, they're talking.
Speaker 2: Okay, these mob bosses. Uh, we have to stop again.
Speaker 2: First of all, the movie never outright says, oh, these
Speaker 2: are the five Families or whatever. You get a lot
Speaker 2: of funny lines like what are you trying to pull
Speaker 2: goldfing up? I don't work with anyone from Chicago, and like,
Speaker 2: let's just say, the gold fingers layers suddenly got a
Speaker 2: lot more girlicky smelling, let's put it that way. Well,
Speaker 2: but a little bit, a little bit if they're doing
Speaker 2: like the James Cagney mob Loss from the nineteen thirties movie.
Speaker 2: All of these men are and it is excellent. They're
Speaker 2: also playing like just the dumbest mobsters ever. You do
Speaker 2: not understand what they're there for.
Speaker 1: They're idiots.
Speaker 2: At one point, what point, Goldfinger shows them a map
Speaker 2: and one of them goes, what's that map there?
Speaker 1: Like, just look at it.
Speaker 2: It's a fucking map.
Speaker 1: It's a map. It becomes self explanatory once you realize
Speaker 1: it's a map.
Speaker 2: I didn't got to no fancy school. I don't know
Speaker 2: about no maps.
Speaker 1: So Goldfinger comes in. He announces, I owe all of
Speaker 1: you a million dollars and I can pay you that
Speaker 1: if you want, or tomorrow, I can pay you ten
Speaker 1: times that amount. What what are you talking about?
Speaker 2: Is this a merry go round?
Speaker 1: That's a madness? Goldfinger? He plans on robbing the biggest
Speaker 1: bank in America, Fort Knox. This is met with general
Speaker 1: scoffs and disbelief, but he says, hear me out a
Speaker 1: great deal of unnecessary pomp and circumstance starts happening. The
Speaker 1: important crucial part for us to know is that a
Speaker 1: model of Fort Knox rises up from the ground floor.
Speaker 1: He says, Man has climbed Mount Everest, gone to the
Speaker 1: bottom of the ocean.
Speaker 2: But when man has not yet perfected Yeah, is crime
Speaker 2: crime crime set in a fully British accent. Yeah, that's
Speaker 2: Goldfinger's whole thing. He's going to perfect crime.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: That's the stakes of this film. That's the stakes we're
Speaker 2: living under.
Speaker 1: He is. If you will forgive me because you will
Speaker 1: not understand about to say the Napoleon of crime. That
Speaker 1: is for all your musical theater kids out there, I
Speaker 1: will not explain it any further.
Speaker 2: I wish you wouldn't.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: We cut down to Bond in his dungeon, who manages
Speaker 2: to tempt his guard into the cell. Okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 2: we gotta talk about this scene.
Speaker 1: We gotta talk about the bde going on in this scene.
Speaker 2: We gotta talk about the flirty smiles. He's flirting, He's flirting,
Speaker 2: he's flirting. Okay, So they have Sean Connery go up
Speaker 2: to the cell the door of the sell where there's
Speaker 2: a little window at the windows, there's a there's a
Speaker 2: guard like one of the one of the Asian men,
Speaker 2: sitting right outside the cell with a gun, like just
Speaker 2: in case mister Bond tries to escape. He waggles his
Speaker 2: eyebrows at him. The guard is unmoved. He smiles that
Speaker 2: thousand watch Sean Connery smile. The guard is not not moved. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he's not not intrigued. He looks intrigued.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Then Bond waggles his eyebrows and smiles simultaneously and then
Speaker 2: winks right at him. Now he is peaked, His interest
Speaker 2: is peaked. Paul, is this a gay moment that we're watching?
Speaker 1: Here's what I think through my lens. Now, there's no
Speaker 1: way this is not a gay moment. I think in
Speaker 1: nineteen sixty four it wasn't even considered possible. It is
Speaker 1: him being charming. He's being a man's man. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: And you.
Speaker 2: Know men's men act. They put on their blue rompers
Speaker 2: and wink at each other. That's a real man's man,
Speaker 2: if you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's one of the situations where you like that the movie.
Speaker 1: Maybe the movie didn't even think of it. I don't
Speaker 1: think it crossed their minds that this could come across
Speaker 1: as homosexual.
Speaker 2: Uh, as a panji moment, this was super intriguing, So Okay.
Speaker 2: So after he winks, waggles his eyebrows, smile the bagpipe, haha,
Speaker 2: would you care to learn? He gets the guard to
Speaker 2: like get interested and stand up and be like, what
Speaker 2: are we doing here? Are we doing what I think
Speaker 2: we're doing? And then Sean Connery, as he's smiling as
Speaker 2: he's waggling his eyebrows, moves down. I said what I said. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he moves down out of view because he moves out
Speaker 2: of the window of the doors the doorstep. But is
Speaker 2: the implication that he is getting on his knees. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that is the implication. I am now getting on my knees.
Speaker 2: Would you care to open this door and find out
Speaker 2: what I'm going to do on my knees to get
Speaker 2: out of this situation? I said what I said. You
Speaker 2: guys just said what I said.
Speaker 1: If we learned anything from the Americans, we know that
Speaker 1: spies are trained too far anyone that they need to fuck. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's what we get out of the situation.
Speaker 2: Get out of a pickle. The guard opens with your pickle.
Speaker 2: With your pickle, Get out of the pickle with your pickle.
Speaker 2: The guard opens the door because who the fuck wouldn't see? Yeah,
Speaker 2: and in the two seconds that Bond was out of sight,
Speaker 2: he has disappeared. The guard looks around the cell. Where
Speaker 2: the fuck is this guy? He's no longer here. The
Speaker 2: camera slowly pans up and we see them Sean Conry
Speaker 2: is Spider manning on the ceiling of the cell.
Speaker 1: We can't tell you enough how much there is not
Speaker 1: room for him to have gone down, gone to the side,
Speaker 1: and then Spider manned.
Speaker 2: Up the wall like in the amount of time no less.
Speaker 1: Yeah, utterly impossible.
Speaker 2: Utterly impossible, so completely ridiculous, also hilarious, yep. So he
Speaker 2: knocks the guard out and he flees the cell. He
Speaker 2: wanders through the downstairs and eventually manages to get underneath
Speaker 2: the Fort Knox model so that he can watch and
Speaker 2: hear gold Fingers plan as he's as Goldfinger is telling
Speaker 2: the mobster's upstore. The plan is they're going to knock
Speaker 2: out all the soldiers at Fort Knox with Delta nine gas,
Speaker 2: which will cause twenty four hour unconsciousness, and they're gonna
Speaker 2: use Pussy's flying circus. Yeah, okay, don't what don't Black
Speaker 2: Paul is a serious captain. Pussy is a serious pilot.
Speaker 1: What what kind of sex act? Is a Pussy's Flying circus.
Speaker 2: I'm glad you.
Speaker 1: Asked, Paul. I'm assuming it involves ropes.
Speaker 2: Yes, it involves a rope and pulley system. You can
Speaker 2: buy one at all the major sex shop retailers. Actually
Speaker 2: Goop sells one.
Speaker 1: Goop Goop came up with it, up.
Speaker 2: With the pussy flying circuits. There's also a clown involved.
Speaker 2: Of course, it has to be a clown. It's a circus. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there's three rings. You have to jump through the three rings.
Speaker 2: I'll just show you later.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: You know what, if I talk about it, it'll ruin
Speaker 2: it for you.
Speaker 1: We'll just tease you with this. There's a clown Wigmerkin involved.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, There's a hoop of fire that someone has to
Speaker 2: jump through. Yeah, your penis so okay, So Pussy's Flags circuit.
Speaker 2: He's gonna gas everyone and then they will go in
Speaker 2: and rob the place. Bond is writing the plan down
Speaker 2: on a piece of scrap paper that he has. He
Speaker 2: wraps it around his homing device and he puts it
Speaker 2: in his suit pocket. At that moment, Bond is discovered
Speaker 2: by pushing Hello, Pushing Pusy, Hello, Poosy who with the
Speaker 2: aid of some armed guards recaptures Bond. Bond is bad
Speaker 2: at not getting captured. Bond is a professional hostage yep.
Speaker 1: Upstairs again, mister Solo is the lone crime boss who
Speaker 1: has not taken in with gold Fingers plan. There's also
Speaker 1: a really femmy moment for mister Solo this scene where
Speaker 1: he's like, what are you talking about? It really made
Speaker 1: me laugh. He says, you know what, I'm gonna take
Speaker 1: my million and I'm gonna go, and Goldfinger graciously leads
Speaker 1: him out.
Speaker 2: He's like, all right, if you don't want to be
Speaker 2: part of the plan, you don't, no problem. That's fair,
Speaker 2: that's fair.
Speaker 1: I will pay you what I owe you. We can
Speaker 1: do business another time. Once he's gone, kish the other
Speaker 1: the other man servant seals the great room with all
Speaker 1: the crime bosses inside and gases the whole group. They
Speaker 1: all collapse.
Speaker 2: What the fuck? Yeah, was the point of any of this?
Speaker 1: It was so we could learn what the plan was,
Speaker 1: only we're not actually learning the plan.
Speaker 2: This may this I this is so infuriating. Genuinely, What
Speaker 2: is the point of this scene that we just watched
Speaker 2: with the mob bosses? There is none? The answer is
Speaker 2: there isn't the actual point was to get James Bond
Speaker 2: to hear the plan that we heard. Yeah, but I
Speaker 2: mean he could have just told it to one of
Speaker 2: his henchmen and Bond could have overheard it. Like moving on,
Speaker 2: moving on, And it's.
Speaker 1: Going to lead to another tangent because now we have
Speaker 1: to deal with mister Solo. Yes, and truly the most
Speaker 1: egregious tangent of the entire film.
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, that golf worse. I will stand
Speaker 2: by that, that line, the golf scene because.
Speaker 1: If there's no moose knuckle in the mister Solo scene.
Speaker 2: Because at least the mister Solo scene involves an insane
Speaker 2: amount of violence and I'm here for that. So outside,
Speaker 2: Goldfinger loads one million dollars worth of gold bars into
Speaker 2: a case and brings it to Solo in his car.
Speaker 2: Pussy walks up with Bond, who for some reason is
Speaker 2: not in his cell. She's like, hey, I just wanted
Speaker 2: to show you what I happened. Like you know, like
Speaker 2: a cat will sometimes like catch a mouse or a
Speaker 2: bird or something and then take it to you and
Speaker 2: put it at your feet and be like look what
Speaker 2: I've done.
Speaker 1: That's why she's called Pussy.
Speaker 2: That's why she's called pussy, Guys, get your fucking heads
Speaker 2: out of the gutter. She's called pussy because she loves
Speaker 2: to bring him treats. So she brings him to Goldfinger
Speaker 2: as like, look what I did. I captured mister Bond,
Speaker 2: and Bond manages to put the homing device with the
Speaker 2: note into Solo's pocket as Solo gets in his car,
Speaker 2: odd Job then gets into driver's seat and drives off
Speaker 2: the Solo. Felix notices Bond's homing device is on the
Speaker 2: move and follows it. Well, Felix is onto mister Solo.
Speaker 1: Yep, what it now happens? Erica? Yeah, is a four
Speaker 1: and a half minute sequence.
Speaker 2: Holy shit, it's four and a half minute.
Speaker 1: I timed it.
Speaker 2: It is four and a half minutes too much time.
Speaker 1: In which, with Felix always on his tail, odd Job
Speaker 1: drives Solo past the airport onto a side street shoots him, which, honestly, Solo,
Speaker 1: I knew you were getting shot. How did you not
Speaker 1: know you're getting shot? I'm not even a criminal.
Speaker 2: Everyone knew he was getting shot.
Speaker 1: Yep. He brings the car to a lot, presumably with
Speaker 1: Solo's body still inside. It's crushed into a little square.
Speaker 1: We don't see entrails popping like a ZiT because this
Speaker 1: was made nineteen sixteen before.
Speaker 2: We have loved that, though I would have loved to
Speaker 2: hear a crunch.
Speaker 1: Then the crushed car is put back into another car
Speaker 1: that odd Job brings back to gold Fingers so they
Speaker 1: can somehow, he says, separate my gold from mister solo.
Speaker 2: Excellent.
Speaker 1: Why didn't odd Jobs simply not remove the gold from
Speaker 1: the car before or it was crushed?
Speaker 2: None of this makes sense except to make a really
Speaker 2: gross joke about this guy's body and bones being crushed
Speaker 2: into the gold.
Speaker 1: Also, is someone at the dump on gold Fingers payroll
Speaker 1: because they're they're crushing a car then placing it back
Speaker 1: into the car of the very suspicious man.
Speaker 2: That's just like, that's just do you mean the giant
Speaker 2: butler dressed like the giant the man dressed like an
Speaker 2: English butler for no reason who doesn't speak Yeah. Also,
Speaker 2: the weight of that car, the crushed car putting in
Speaker 2: putting that in the truck, that is literally putting another
Speaker 2: car into a car. This odd Jobs car wouldn't be
Speaker 2: able to drive out of that lot. It would be
Speaker 2: too heavy. Remember, like mister Rogers. They used to show
Speaker 2: like scenes from a crayon factory and you'd watch like
Speaker 2: how crayons are made. It was really this was giving
Speaker 2: a little bad Like when we were watching a car
Speaker 2: getting compacted over and over again. I know it was
Speaker 2: ridiculously long and stupid. Yeah, but part of me was
Speaker 2: really enjoying watching the compacting process.
Speaker 1: Actually, my note here is I guess it was cool
Speaker 1: watching the car get crushed, right, it was a little
Speaker 1: oh wow.
Speaker 2: I would watch footage of cars getting crushed.
Speaker 1: Because I actually because it looks like they're actually crushing
Speaker 1: a car. They're doing that for real.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, this looks like one of those mister Rogers
Speaker 2: film clips.
Speaker 1: Yeah. All right, So Felix follows odd Job the whole way.
Speaker 1: He decides, right, I'm just going to go back to
Speaker 1: the farm because there's nothing else to be done. The
Speaker 1: note that Bond wrote is never discovered. The homing device
Speaker 1: just goes offline and has no bearing on the plot.
Speaker 2: Weird, You're right. I thought this was going to come
Speaker 2: back later, but it.
Speaker 1: Actually does not. I thought I thought what was going
Speaker 1: to happen was odd Job was going to throw Felix
Speaker 1: Solo's body, yes out of the car, Felix finds the note,
Speaker 1: and then we go from there. That is not what happens.
Speaker 2: This movie is so dumb. Got this? This got a
Speaker 2: ninety nine percent critical reading in its day. Ninety nine
Speaker 2: percent of critics were like, everything in this plot makes
Speaker 2: one hundred percent of sense. I have no issues with
Speaker 2: this film. Back at the stud farm, Goldfinger and pus, he.
Speaker 1: Don't finger your pussy with gold.
Speaker 2: Gold fanngal, hell fanga you with his gold and fanngal.
Speaker 2: He'll ruin the pH balance of y'all. Pussy.
Speaker 1: I think we've lost the ballady.
Speaker 2: Okay. So they are sitting on the veranda enjoying mint
Speaker 2: julips and delighting in the amount of money they'll be
Speaker 2: receiving from Operation Grand Slam. They're villains. They are villaining.
Speaker 2: Kish arrives to tell them that Felix is very surreptitiously
Speaker 2: hanging on the horse fence with vernoculars.
Speaker 1: He's so out in the open.
Speaker 2: Here's a CIA agent thirty feet away from you, looking
Speaker 2: at you through binocular Should we be worried about that?
Speaker 2: Anyone anyone care? Goldfinger suspects that this might be one
Speaker 2: of Bond's allies, and he summons Bond in the hopes
Speaker 2: of showing Felix that he isn't in any kind of trouble.
Speaker 2: He even asks Pusher to put on something that might
Speaker 2: show Felix how much fun mister Bond is having. She's
Speaker 2: wearing she loves a job, purse, she loves a job.
Speaker 2: She's wearing like crushed velvet jodpurs.
Speaker 1: And could not be more from Maine. You're right, Like,
Speaker 1: she's so northeastern.
Speaker 2: She's so Northeast, she's so patrician. She's wearing like a
Speaker 2: proto wrap dressed top and like joggers. And he's like,
Speaker 2: why don't you go put on a little something sexy
Speaker 2: to entice our guests, And she's like, absolutely What.
Speaker 1: I love about this is that she goes and just
Speaker 1: puts on the same outfit in a different color.
Speaker 2: It's not velvet, it's lemae. I guess that's what makes
Speaker 2: it sexy the second time. You're absolutely right, all right.
Speaker 1: So Bond is brought to Goldfinger and he starts talking
Speaker 1: to him. He's like, look, first of all, Delta nine
Speaker 1: gas is fatal. Doesn't knock people out for twenty four hours,
Speaker 1: It fucking kills them, And b He's like, this is
Speaker 1: a lost cause, you're never gonna pull off your heist
Speaker 1: because the golden Fort Knox simply weighs too much for
Speaker 1: him to remove it quickly enough before like all of
Speaker 1: the arm forces that aren't knocked out by the Knight
Speaker 1: Delta nine gas react. Goldfinger wonders, who said I was
Speaker 1: going to remove the gold? He's had his associate, mister Lang,
Speaker 1: the red Chinese.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is where you get that little moment.
Speaker 1: Make a dirty bomb that will irradiate the gold, making
Speaker 1: it unusable for over fifty years. Other gold, most importantly his,
Speaker 1: will increase in value ten times with the store at
Speaker 1: Fort Knox no longer viable. Bond can't help but be
Speaker 1: impressed with Goldfinger's dastardly vision, and Goldfinger promises that you'll
Speaker 1: have a chance to see it up close, perhaps too
Speaker 1: close for comfort. What well. At one point, Bond is like,
Speaker 1: you're going to kill sixty thousand people uselessly, and Goldfinger says,
Speaker 1: American motorists kill that many every two years, And you're like,
Speaker 1: it's not.
Speaker 2: The same thing.
Speaker 1: That's not even apples and oranges, that's apples and zebras.
Speaker 2: Like apples and murder you're doing apples and murder here.
Speaker 2: That's not the same thing. Also, seatbelts didn't exist back then.
Speaker 2: Did you know that that's why so many people died
Speaker 2: in car accidents. Pussy returns in a purple outfit. Sexy.
Speaker 2: She takes mister Bond for a walk. Now they're flirting,
Speaker 2: they're having a good time. She is actually not immune
Speaker 2: to his charms. It turns out Felix leaves, he's like, well,
Speaker 2: mister Bond's gonna get his dick wet.
Speaker 1: Yep, so he's gonna see it.
Speaker 2: Bond and Pushy pushing henzy poosy head into a barn
Speaker 2: and Bond tries to appeal to her better nature about
Speaker 2: Operation Grand Slam. She's not interested in his appeals. No,
Speaker 2: she has no conscious She wants the money. He tries
Speaker 2: to like seductively pull her towards him. She uses that
Speaker 2: momentum to judoli him, flip him like across the barn.
Speaker 1: Ah, Now you're asking for this.
Speaker 2: And the two of them start to tussle. She throws him,
Speaker 2: he throws her. They judo chop each other, but in
Speaker 2: a sexy way. No one gets knocked out. They wind
Speaker 2: up like just rolling around in the hay, the literal
Speaker 2: rolling in the hay. They can no longer resist each other.
Speaker 2: She's like, is that She's like, is that an enormous
Speaker 2: penis in your pocket? Or are you carrying a gun?
Speaker 1: Or is it a tremendous penis in your podcet ha ha.
Speaker 2: And Bond let's pussy in on the biggest benefit of
Speaker 2: his double O seven status, his license to drill. Fuck yeah,
Speaker 2: these too go to the bone zone.
Speaker 1: This is an operation grand Slam, all right. From that
Speaker 1: high we cut to the next day. We hit the
Speaker 1: part of the movie where really too much time is
Speaker 1: passing by. Poozies. Flying Circus takes off Spray's Fort Knox,
Speaker 1: the Delta nine gas, everyone on site collapses. It takes
Speaker 1: three full minutes of screen time.
Speaker 2: Okay, while that was happening, here's what I was thinking.
Speaker 2: Because it takes three full minutes of screen time, what
Speaker 2: are the names of the other pilots in the Flying Circus.
Speaker 2: Here's what I came up with. Cuntie McGee, Snatch for Days,
Speaker 2: Cooter Shenanigans, Slice of Slidz, axe Wound Margaret. That's that's
Speaker 2: the beauty of these long sequences. You have time to
Speaker 2: really think.
Speaker 1: Lots of snooch. All right, So all of these soldiers collapse.
Speaker 1: There is one soldier you see him. He's already on
Speaker 1: the ground and he clearly doesn't want to fall, and
Speaker 1: he's just slowly like going down to his knee and
Speaker 1: then like down to his elbow. Very funny.
Speaker 2: There's one in every fucking action sequence in every movie,
Speaker 2: like one extra who's like, my knee hurts, I'm.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I can't do that. We also see that Felix
Speaker 1: is on site. That's the CIA agent, so we think, okay, fine,
Speaker 1: three minutes have gone by. It was it was a
Speaker 1: little boring, but we got to see lots of snooch
Speaker 1: and hooters McGee, nope and aha and uh and snatch
Speaker 1: for days, snatch for days, uh uh gas, all of
Speaker 1: these men Fine, Goldfinger, odd job, Kish and all of
Speaker 1: their men move in. They set about their plan. They
Speaker 1: check the air for any remaining gas. Goldfinger arrives and
Speaker 1: a helicopter piloted by Poozy. They have to they have
Speaker 1: to get through all of the defenses. This goes on
Speaker 1: for another five minutes.
Speaker 2: It is almost ten minutes interminable.
Speaker 1: Of nothing happening. Like I get They have to get
Speaker 1: into the bank, right, you can show them spraying the
Speaker 1: gas in the air, and then you can just cut
Speaker 1: to them arriving and everyone to sleep.
Speaker 2: Let's check it on Tom Cruise, shall we, Yeah, let's
Speaker 2: check it in. We've brought it. We brought in Daniel Craig,
Speaker 2: and we brought in Keanu Reeves from the John Wick
Speaker 2: franchise to take a look at this and just tell
Speaker 2: us what they think in general about the act in
Speaker 2: films of their forefathers. Oh no, they're kicking puppies there.
Speaker 2: Oh no, they're all kicking, but they're taking turns.
Speaker 1: Guys, the puppies fault. Oh they're not interested.
Speaker 2: They're okay, yep, that's fair. You know what I get it.
Speaker 2: Take your aggression out on those puppies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're not cute puppies, Guys, don't worried. They're ugly puppies.
Speaker 1: So they set the bomb to explode crucially in three
Speaker 1: minutes and forty five seconds. I'm gonna say that again.
Speaker 1: Three minutes and forty five seconds. That's how long we
Speaker 1: have before the bomb explodes.
Speaker 2: Got it done. As soon as the bomb goes online,
Speaker 2: Felix and everyone else wakes.
Speaker 1: Up Oh my gosh, it's fake out.
Speaker 2: Okay, look, I'm gonna admit I didn't see that one coming. Okay,
Speaker 2: I didn't see that one coming, and I was happy
Speaker 2: when it happened.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because otherwise you've witnessed these women innocently.
Speaker 2: Not innocently, they would have well, I guess not, because
Speaker 2: they would have thought they.
Speaker 1: Were knocking They were knocking them out. They were criminals,
Speaker 1: but did not think they were committing a mass murder.
Speaker 2: Of yes, we would have seen a huge mass murder.
Speaker 2: That's not what happened. So I was pleased. Okay, Why
Speaker 2: did they have to wait for them to prime the
Speaker 2: bomb before moving in. We don't know.
Speaker 1: We don't know, we may never know.
Speaker 2: It doesn't make any sense in any case. Felix calls
Speaker 2: for all the soldiers to head in and apprehend Goldfinger
Speaker 2: and his crew.
Speaker 1: My favorite thing that he says is minimum offensive fire
Speaker 1: until the bomb has been neutralized. Listeners, we cannot possibly
Speaker 1: explain to you how much offensive fire there is before
Speaker 1: the bomb is neutralized.
Speaker 2: Ha ha a oh, I just thought of something. When
Speaker 2: they gassed the town, could we say that they got
Speaker 2: PUSSI they did?
Speaker 1: Hah, you've been poosied.
Speaker 2: You've been pussied. Some pussis are toxic. Yeah, what did
Speaker 2: the gas smell like? You ask? You know what, I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna answer because I'm a lady.
Speaker 1: Goldfinger handcuffs Bond to the dirty bomb and puts him
Speaker 1: on an elevator that lowers so slowly.
Speaker 2: This is the point where everyone started hysterically laughing in
Speaker 2: our group that everyone like, no one said anything. We
Speaker 2: just watched thirty seconds of Sean Connery going down a
Speaker 2: slow elevator and we all lost our fucking minds because
Speaker 2: we have been now been subjected to so many scenes
Speaker 2: like this.
Speaker 1: A Goldfinger leaves he sees the assault beginning. He immediately
Speaker 1: runs and seals the vault, with Kish and odd Job
Speaker 1: still inside with the dirty bomb. He disguises himself as
Speaker 1: an American soldier and starts shooting his own men, including
Speaker 1: mister Ling. He heads out into the fray. He's killing
Speaker 1: indiscriminately to ensure his own escape. We see him running
Speaker 1: towards the helicopter where Poosy is waiting.
Speaker 2: Yes, I mean he's gone mad, He's just a Goldfinger
Speaker 2: has Goldfinger.
Speaker 1: Has left the building.
Speaker 2: He has lost his mind.
Speaker 3: And all of his gold He also pulls out a
Speaker 3: gold gun, which is very interesting because there's a James
Speaker 3: Bond movie called The Man with the Golden Gun which
Speaker 3: does not feature or a goldfinger.
Speaker 1: From what I know.
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, I did not know that.
Speaker 1: I don't know that.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, in the vault, Kish decides to take the few
Speaker 2: out of the bomb and save himself. Odd Job, not
Speaker 2: seeing the wisdom of this, decides to fight Kish, and
Speaker 2: Kish at one point goes, let's not be heroes. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, okay, but are you be heroes?
Speaker 1: What's happening? Like, Let's not be stupid. We don't have
Speaker 1: to die.
Speaker 2: We do not have to die. This is we are caught.
Speaker 2: Let's just get caught and not die today by via
Speaker 2: atomic bomb, which does not sound like a pleasant way
Speaker 2: to die.
Speaker 1: Agreed.
Speaker 2: Odd Job does not care. He is a man on
Speaker 2: a mission. He flings Kish over the side of a
Speaker 2: flight of stairs. Kish falls down. I'm not kidding, maybe
Speaker 2: thirty feet. It dies on impact. It's not far enough.
Speaker 2: It's not far enough for someone to die on impact.
Speaker 2: It doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1: Stupid or death him or Tilly. Tilly is stupider because
Speaker 1: that's death by hat.
Speaker 2: That's death by hat. But this one, this is close.
Speaker 2: This is close. You know what. I'm gonna cut back
Speaker 2: to our three actors and ask them, hey, guys, hey,
Speaker 2: oh my god, Kendu Reeves is throwing his head against
Speaker 2: the wall. Oh no, oh no, kill Kanu.
Speaker 1: Got your face? Keanu, your face.
Speaker 2: Bond sees this, and he starts to maneuver closer to
Speaker 2: get the handcuff key off of Kish, off of Kish's corpse.
Speaker 2: Say that ten times fast.
Speaker 1: Luckily, the bomb is on wheels. The bomb is.
Speaker 2: We really, there's stupid things. I can't even point the
Speaker 2: ball out, there's too many. The bomb is on wheels.
Speaker 2: Odd Job hurries down and he flings his hat at Bond.
Speaker 2: Bond ducks and manages to get free of the handcuffs.
Speaker 2: The hat cuts through a power cable on the wall,
Speaker 2: which lands in sparks on the floor. Ye okay, so
Speaker 2: now we have live electricity in the action.
Speaker 1: It's also funny because later it will just be fire
Speaker 1: when it's crucially supposed to be electricity. It's fire, But
Speaker 1: who cares? Bond an odd Job scuffle, Bond seemingly unable
Speaker 1: to land any damage on his opponent. Every time he
Speaker 1: punches him. The guy just smiles, silent, no effect, just
Speaker 1: a scuffle.
Speaker 2: We mean, just the dumbest fight choreo. Picture, the dumbest,
Speaker 2: worst middle school fight choreography. Stop, you got it, you
Speaker 2: nailed it.
Speaker 1: Done. The timer on the bomb is ticking ever downward.
Speaker 1: Bond finally has the idea of using odd Job's own
Speaker 1: hat against him. Surely he can't stand up to the
Speaker 1: power of the bowler hat. Ha ha. He throws it and
Speaker 1: it lodges in the bars, protecting the gold the gold
Speaker 1: stash at Fort Knox. Right, odd Job smiles. He goes
Speaker 1: to retrieve his greatest weapon. Bond sees the sparking slash
Speaker 1: on fire cable and shoves it into the metal bars.
Speaker 1: It travels through the bars. Odd Job is holding his hat.
Speaker 2: A felt hat. I mean, there must be something else
Speaker 2: in that hat to make it lethal, But whatever.
Speaker 1: It conducts enough electricity that it electrocutes odd Job, killing him.
Speaker 1: This apparently like seriously burned this actor.
Speaker 2: What really?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have no idea, but see here, Sakata, you
Speaker 1: want to make it big in Hollywood, You're gonna have
Speaker 1: to take enough electricity to stun a horse.
Speaker 2: Can I have a line at least if I'm gonna
Speaker 2: do No, you're mute? Okay?
Speaker 1: Cool?
Speaker 2: Can I can you actually identify me correctly as a
Speaker 2: Japanese man rather than a.
Speaker 1: Career No one knows the difference. It's nineteen sixty four.
Speaker 2: Okay, thank you so much, sir.
Speaker 1: Thank you for the opportunity.
Speaker 2: Thank you for the opportunity.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: Bond rushes over to the bomb. He tries to get
Speaker 2: the case open so he can diffuse it as a
Speaker 2: firefight makes its way into the vault. Remember, there's like
Speaker 2: a whole fucking thing happening outside. I don't have time
Speaker 2: for this. He only has twenty four seconds left. This
Speaker 2: is a full eight minutes after we initially saw the
Speaker 2: timer starting to count down from three minutes and forty
Speaker 2: five seconds. Paul wants everyone to know he did the work.
Speaker 2: Bond finally gets the case open. He's looking at a
Speaker 2: cartoonish mockup of what they think on atomic bomb. Looks
Speaker 2: like it is dumb.
Speaker 1: It looks like a dumb It looks like a train station,
Speaker 1: a play play train station.
Speaker 2: Looks like an ice cream maker, model train station, a
Speaker 2: model train station, go through an ice cream maker. It's
Speaker 2: like there's wheels, that turn. It doesn't make any fucking sense.
Speaker 2: Bond has no idea how to diffuse the bomb. Then,
Speaker 2: at the last minute, a man we have genuinely never
Speaker 2: seen before in this movie, although I have to say
Speaker 2: he looks so much like Felix that I was like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, I guess that's Felix. Another CIA guy
Speaker 2: who's just like an anonymous white guy shows up and
Speaker 2: appears to hit I'm not joking an off switch. He
Speaker 2: goes around the bomb and he's like, you didn't see
Speaker 2: the switch at the side that said off, and he
Speaker 2: goes click, turning it off, disarming the bomb.
Speaker 1: Yep, Felix appears. He wonders where odd job is. Bond says,
Speaker 1: he blew a fuse, but I'm bump. He asks if
Speaker 1: they got Goldfinger, and Felix admits that they didn't, but
Speaker 1: promises he won't get far. Bond asks after Poosy, and
Speaker 1: Felix tells him that she called the authorities and switched
Speaker 1: the gas and the canisters. Bond says, huh, I must
Speaker 1: have appealed to her maternal instinct. It's no positively, sit,
Speaker 1: it's no work.
Speaker 2: No, I mean, it's winking at the audience, because it's like, like,
Speaker 2: I know that that's I appealed to another instinct altogether.
Speaker 2: It's talking about that Felix brings James to a private
Speaker 2: plane that will be taking him to meet the President
Speaker 2: of the United States. I don't know if anyone's that
Speaker 2: excited to meet LBJ but okay, sure, I had it
Speaker 2: in my head while we were watching the movie that
Speaker 2: this was earlier than nineteen sixty four, and so I
Speaker 2: had Jackie Kennedy in mind, and I thought it would
Speaker 2: be really funny if it was, like I hear the
Speaker 2: first lady really wants to meet me. The idea of
Speaker 2: James Bond fucking Jackie Kennedy made me so happy. Yeah,
Speaker 2: she deserves that, She fucking deserved it. But I know
Speaker 2: it's it's actually Lady Bird Johnson. I don't I don't
Speaker 2: know what her deal is. He gets on board and
Speaker 2: is immediately held at gunpoint by gold Finger, who promises
Speaker 2: him that he will deal with Pussy soon. Right now,
Speaker 2: she's at the controls of the airplane. So ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker 2: this is your captain Pussy Galore. Fly this plane under duress. Yep,
Speaker 2: Goldfinger and Bond struggle the gun goes off, breaking the
Speaker 2: window of the airplane. And remember five hours ago in
Speaker 2: this movie when when Bond was warning Pussy that like,
Speaker 2: should something go through the fuselage of the airplane, they
Speaker 2: will be sucked out into outer space. And you're like,
Speaker 2: that's not a real thing, that's not gonna happen. The
Speaker 2: movie wrote the check and then fucking cash it.
Speaker 1: The also don't fly on Boeing Boeing.
Speaker 2: The window breaks, the cabin pressure drops, Bond has to
Speaker 2: hang on for dear life as they're all almost getting
Speaker 2: sucked out of the plane. Goldfinger, a man twice the
Speaker 2: size of the of the circumference of the window that
Speaker 2: was shot out, gets sucked out into outer space and dies.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: Paul lost his mind, you guys when this happened last
Speaker 2: night when we were watching the movie. He could not
Speaker 2: stop laughing because it is so cartoonishly stupid.
Speaker 1: He's simply the man simply wouldn't fit through the window.
Speaker 2: He would not fit.
Speaker 1: Simply, not how it would work.
Speaker 2: We all thought was gonna happen, was he was gonna
Speaker 2: plug up the whole in his body with his torso
Speaker 2: and they would land the plane with Goldfinger half in
Speaker 2: and half out of.
Speaker 1: The po and the airplane window. Ask to the wind
Speaker 1: pants just blown off, ass out, that's what.
Speaker 2: We all thought was going to happen. That's not what happens.
Speaker 2: Holy shit. Bond manages to make his way to the
Speaker 2: cockpit where Pussy is now struggling to regain control of
Speaker 2: this fucking plane because all the cabin pressure's gone. He
Speaker 2: tries to help, it's of no use.
Speaker 1: So we cut to Felix that he and others are
Speaker 1: watching on the radar as the plane plummets towards the
Speaker 1: ground at forty feet. This plane is in free fall.
Speaker 2: We see it visually, forty feet.
Speaker 1: They are forty feet above impact. We see another dot
Speaker 1: appear right, So obviously Poosy and Bond have ejected. Yes, sure,
Speaker 1: the plane crashes into a large body of water, large
Speaker 1: enough that you don't see shore. It's just water.
Speaker 2: It's the ocean, presumably. Yeah, they are flying famously from
Speaker 2: Kentucky to Washington, d C.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there are.
Speaker 2: No bodies of water unless that is I don't even
Speaker 2: know if the Mississippi River is between those two places.
Speaker 1: It is not.
Speaker 2: I'm shit at geography.
Speaker 1: It is not.
Speaker 2: It does not make any sense.
Speaker 1: Then we see Felix soaring over some forested terrain in
Speaker 1: a helicopter. We pan down, we see Poosy trying to
Speaker 1: wave for help, before Bond pulls her back down and says,
Speaker 1: I've got a license to fill Poosy. He doesn't say that.
Speaker 1: I wish he did. I really wish he did. He doesn't.
Speaker 1: That was that was me. That was me, I said that.
Speaker 1: Bond says, this is no time to be rescued. He
Speaker 1: pulls the parachute over them, and they they they use
Speaker 1: that license.
Speaker 2: They use the license to drill, to fill, to kill,
Speaker 2: to thrill.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go. Yeah, end of film.
Speaker 2: End of Classic American cinema. Yeah, British cinema.
Speaker 1: British cinem I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you right now. I'm not offering a palate cleanser.
Speaker 1: Absolutely not. No, no, no, I mean, I don't care.
Speaker 2: My palate cleanser is imagining Tom Cruise watching this.
Speaker 1: Movie and furiously like punching children.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Actually Tom Cruise wants to do those stupid stunts.
Speaker 2: Daniel Craig forcing Daniel Craig to watch this movie.
Speaker 1: All right, stick around, We will be right back with
Speaker 1: our random observations and final rankings for gold Finger. And
Speaker 1: we're back Erica. What final titbits do you have? Titspits
Speaker 1: do you have to tell us about gold Finger?
Speaker 2: They do a thing in this movie where every time
Speaker 2: they have Sean Connery doing a quote unquote stunt. Uh,
Speaker 2: I cannot tell you enough how these are not real
Speaker 2: stunts like they when they have him like like throwing
Speaker 2: someone over his shoulder, or like punching a man or
Speaker 2: using a woman as a human shield, they speed up
Speaker 2: the film two time. Yeah, I love that make it
Speaker 2: look more impressive than it actually is, but.
Speaker 1: It just makes it look inhuman.
Speaker 2: It just looks so dumb.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, there's one point where he throws Poozy and
Speaker 1: she like she just goes too fast through the air, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like she got launched from a trebaget.
Speaker 2: She was catapulted through that bar.
Speaker 1: We did miss one moment of it was a different time.
Speaker 1: It was a different time, and which one It takes
Speaker 1: place with Dink In the very beginning, Felix comes up.
Speaker 1: He's like, Felix, this is DINKDNK, this is Felix. Felix, like,
Speaker 1: I have talked to you, and he says Shay, goodbye
Speaker 1: to Felix. Man talk, and then he slaps around the
Speaker 1: asses he walks away.
Speaker 2: That's right, I forgot. I forgot. I think my brain
Speaker 2: was still processing the name Dink. Yeah, and I missed
Speaker 2: that party.
Speaker 1: Shit. Yeah, look there's a lot coming at you.
Speaker 2: We did not make enough hay out of Dink.
Speaker 1: Dink, Dink.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there was a woman named Dink.
Speaker 1: He was planning on making hay out of dink, but
Speaker 1: he got distracted by Jill.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yep, yep, yep. Men talk, fuck off, Bond.
Speaker 1: I only have one more. I left a lot in
Speaker 1: the field on this one. But the this moment he
Speaker 1: goes down, he sees q Q was leading him through
Speaker 1: like the I guess research and development area that he runs.
Speaker 2: Oh, yes, I know exactly what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: They passed one where they like, the two guys are
Speaker 1: in a sealed room and they have a parking meter,
Speaker 1: and like all of a sudden, gas starts exploding out
Speaker 1: of the parking meet. I'm like, I know what that is.
Speaker 1: Then they pass without comment. Basically, a man standing in
Speaker 1: a trench coat, he's kind of like clenching, like he's
Speaker 1: bracing for something. A man not even ten feet away
Speaker 1: from him, opens fire on him with an oozy yeah, yep, yep.
Speaker 1: Holes are blown in the coat. The man is fine.
Speaker 1: He opens it. He reveals he's wearing a bulletproof vest,
Speaker 1: at which point Q says, it's not perfected yet.
Speaker 2: Why would you try it? Why would you put why
Speaker 2: would you do a human trial?
Speaker 1: Why are you testing it on people? I guess we
Speaker 1: can be lucky that man wasn't blown into a fine
Speaker 1: mist by the by the dozens of rounds that were
Speaker 1: emptied into his bulletproof best at point blank rain from
Speaker 1: a machine.
Speaker 2: Gun is that the intern is that what they have
Speaker 2: the interview.
Speaker 1: If you survive your internship, your month long internship at
Speaker 1: R and D, you can get into the double O program. Ah.
Speaker 2: I only have one word too, because really we did
Speaker 2: leave a lot on the field.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The line when Felix is watching Bond towards the end
Speaker 2: of the film through the binoculars and they see Pussy
Speaker 2: leading him into the barn, right, the line just to
Speaker 2: like put a hat on a hat. Someone goes where
Speaker 2: is Bond headed? And Felix goes, ten will get you one.
Speaker 2: It's a drink or a dame yeah, excellent. That's just good, right.
Speaker 1: It's good writing. Yeah, yeah, absolutely so good.
Speaker 2: Okay, Paul, how are we going to rank?
Speaker 1: Go?
Speaker 2: Like, you know what, I can't sing anymore.
Speaker 1: I'm done saying done.
Speaker 2: How are you gonna rank.
Speaker 1: Golden one to ten deaths by bowler hat? Oh?
Speaker 2: So many deaths by bowler hat?
Speaker 1: I mean, actually, when you think about odd job had
Speaker 1: a death by bowler hat? Yeah? Yeah, is that irony?
Speaker 1: I've never been able to define it, but I think
Speaker 1: that's irony.
Speaker 2: That's the irony right there.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: How about one to ten pussy galorees, flying circuses manned
Speaker 2: by tons of.
Speaker 1: Muff, man by man by Fanny Abundance.
Speaker 2: Also a drag queen name. Such an excellent drag queen name,
Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to this stage. Fanny Abundance.
Speaker 1: How from the House of Abundance, a famous actual house.
Speaker 2: Yes, pooter a plenty, plenty of pooter plenty, poona.
Speaker 1: Plenty, cornicopia, beaver.
Speaker 2: Scads of men.
Speaker 1: Of men.
Speaker 2: She's English, she's right. Ah.
Speaker 1: How about one to ten baby blue terry cloth rompers
Speaker 1: that evoke the height of masculinity.
Speaker 2: So masculine all our fathers again, I just need to
Speaker 2: point out thought this was the most masculine character ever
Speaker 2: on film. Yeah, I think we should do this one
Speaker 2: baby blue terry cloth ass booty rompers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you want to go first?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, I've got it.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, I don't know. I'm kind of glad you said
Speaker 1: you were going to go first.
Speaker 2: Okay. A lot of Asian henchmen that are just not explained,
Speaker 2: just not explained. The irony is there's a lot of
Speaker 2: diversity in the film because of it, and there's a
Speaker 2: lot of like roles for Asian people as a result.
Speaker 2: But they're all like wordless, quiet henchmen who don't say
Speaker 2: anything except.
Speaker 1: For mister Ling and Miley. They both have like a
Speaker 1: handful of lines.
Speaker 2: Yeah and Miley, and like they're in the most Like
Speaker 2: Miley is exactly dressedic how you think Miley is going
Speaker 2: to be dressed as like a flight attendant on his
Speaker 2: like Asian dream private plane.
Speaker 1: I would say too, although odd job is mute and
Speaker 1: that's annoying, says how many lines? I actually think the
Speaker 1: actor like he has a kind of great face and
Speaker 1: he utilized like like I don't not notice him as
Speaker 1: a character because he's not speaking, he takes up space
Speaker 1: in the film. Yeah, and I'm not just trying to
Speaker 1: cover for the film because I thought it was funny,
Speaker 1: Like I think it's you can have a good wordless performance,
Speaker 1: and I think this is a good wordless performance.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's hop notch henchmen, I have to say. I
Speaker 2: and again, I don't have the historical context. I do
Speaker 2: not understand if the outfits they're wearing are offensive or not.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna air on the side of probably they are.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I was with you, I was like, I have no
Speaker 1: idea why they're all in this uniform. Why would they
Speaker 1: not be in Western clothing if they're in Kentucky or
Speaker 1: or Geneva, Geneva.
Speaker 2: Or something, yeah, or England. And so there's that. I mean,
Speaker 2: I was joking that it passes the Bechdel test, but honestly, like,
Speaker 2: let's get real, like this is the most misogynist thing ever.
Speaker 2: It's so misogynist, it's so misogynistic that it's funny, and
Speaker 2: that it almost circles.
Speaker 1: Back around it's a roadhouse.
Speaker 2: It almost circles back around to being empowering because it's
Speaker 2: like almost a parody of misogyny. Yeah, and Pussy Galore,
Speaker 2: despite the fact that her name is Pussy Galore, is
Speaker 2: a really great character.
Speaker 1: She owns it.
Speaker 2: She fucking owns it.
Speaker 1: I think I always assumed her name was like Elizabeth
Speaker 1: and like, but people call me pussy. But now her
Speaker 1: name it appears her parents named her pussy.
Speaker 2: Pussy Galore is this pilot's name, and she has a profession,
Speaker 2: and it's not gangsters mall, which is one hundred percent
Speaker 2: when I thought it was going to be. I mean,
Speaker 2: Tillie Masterson's also a really interesting character.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wish they had more with her.
Speaker 2: She like reaches her untimely demise.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's misogynistic as fuck. But honestly, it's so misogynistic
Speaker 2: that I don't find it even that offensive because it's
Speaker 2: all it is, like exactly, it's roadhousing. It is a
Speaker 2: parody of itself. It's fun, it's very fun. It's meant
Speaker 2: to be it's not meant to be taken seriously. It's
Speaker 2: all very winky winky at you. Yeah, I am going
Speaker 2: to give this film. I have so much enjoyment watching it.
Speaker 2: It doesn't age well in any way though, I'm trying
Speaker 2: to think of what I could even give it, Like, well.
Speaker 1: That game moment kind of aged into being good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I don't think it's how it was intended. But
Speaker 1: now we just watch it, we're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: Bond is flirting with that card. That's really funny.
Speaker 2: Bon bond is you know bond is verse when we.
Speaker 1: Say we are, we are covering this movie's ass in ways.
Speaker 1: It does not deserve for it.
Speaker 2: It doesn't. It really really doesn't. Okay, like, let's get real,
Speaker 2: does it age well, no, no, no, no it doesn't.
Speaker 2: Let's give it a one. I'm gonna give it a one.
Speaker 1: Monster, I'll give it a one.
Speaker 2: I'm giving it an eight one aging poorly. No, pussy
Speaker 2: Glore is a good character. I'm gonna give it a three.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's fair.
Speaker 2: Let's add points for pussy as one should.
Speaker 1: As you always show.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I'm gonna give it a three out of ten.
Speaker 2: Baby Blue terry Cloth rompers. It is so enjoyable, it
Speaker 2: is so entertaining. It is a little slow, and there are,
Speaker 2: as we talked about, interminable scenes. So I would highly
Speaker 2: recommend gathering friends watching this at the revival house. If
Speaker 2: they played off the screen, making sure you are with
Speaker 2: other people, that you have a martini shaken, not stirred
Speaker 2: to watch this with you have you have popcorn to
Speaker 2: watch this. This is the ultimate popcorn movie.
Speaker 1: Agreed. It was so fun watching with other people last night. Yeah,
Speaker 1: people have similar sensitive humor, and.
Speaker 2: A bunch of us hadn't seen it before, so it
Speaker 2: was a bunch of people encountering that is so funny
Speaker 2: because again Paul had seen it already because he's watched
Speaker 2: it for the recap, and he he was giggling at
Speaker 2: things before they happened. And at one point you were
Speaker 2: out of the room, I can't remember what point, and
Speaker 2: you ran back in. You're like, I need to see
Speaker 2: everyone's reacting.
Speaker 1: For what's about the hep it was terry cloth baby
Speaker 1: blue rompers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so yeah, I mean it's it is super enjoyable,
Speaker 2: how about you, Paul?
Speaker 1: Yeah, excactly. It is specifically meant to be a male
Speaker 1: fantasy from nineteen sixty four. It ages like fish like
Speaker 1: does not age well, you guys, it's so fun and
Speaker 1: it's so stupid, like and I would say that even
Speaker 1: in nineteen sixty four, they are not taking it seriously.
Speaker 1: It is. It is not presented as reality by the filmmakers.
Speaker 1: It is meant to be a male fantasy. It is.
Speaker 1: It's essentially like soft core porn without the porn part,
Speaker 1: Like like that's what James Bond is at this point
Speaker 1: in history. Yeah, he gets all the women. All the
Speaker 1: women love him. He can walk into a woman's room
Speaker 1: and she just turns around and just, oh my god,
Speaker 1: drops your pants. Yeah, like basement flooded. Let's do this
Speaker 1: thing right, Like it's a penthouse letter.
Speaker 2: He has cartoonishly bad at his job, and everyone says
Speaker 2: he's the greatest Bible time.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's offensive because it's so silly, but
Speaker 1: it doesn't age well, Like there are things that, like
Speaker 1: a perhaps harder core feminist would be like, no, I
Speaker 1: don't find this funny, and that is fair. I'm going
Speaker 1: to agree with you. I'm going to say three. I
Speaker 1: think it deserves a three. But exactly what Erica said,
Speaker 1: get some friends, get martiniz or the drink of your
Speaker 1: choice or the mind altering substance of your choice, and
Speaker 1: watch this movie like at midnight, showing like a rocky
Speaker 1: horror yeah kind of thing you'll have a great time.
Speaker 1: As soon as they hit the golf course, just fast
Speaker 1: forward to the moose Knuckle and keep fast forwarding and
Speaker 1: when Pussy Glor's flying circus starts spraying, just fast forward
Speaker 1: eight minutes you will miss I promise nothing.
Speaker 2: Nothing at all. I have a question for you before
Speaker 2: we wrap up for today, because I actually I meant
Speaker 2: to ask this earlier and I forgot. Do you think
Speaker 2: that Sean Connery is the hottest of the Bonds. Oh,
Speaker 2: we have, like, just to remind everyone, we have Connery,
Speaker 2: I believe. We have a guy named George Lazerbi, who
Speaker 2: I have to admit I've never even I looked up
Speaker 2: who the Bonds were.
Speaker 1: I just look it up.
Speaker 2: We have Roger Moore, who is actually the most Bond
Speaker 2: He's done the most Bond films of anyone else.
Speaker 1: Roger Moore.
Speaker 2: We have Timothy Dalton. We have Pierce Brosnan, and then
Speaker 2: Daniel Craig and then an unnamed future Bond possibly I
Speaker 2: don't know. I think they're going with Henry Golding. Maybe
Speaker 2: I don't know who they're looking for.
Speaker 1: Are you looking at Oh, well, they don't know, because
Speaker 1: the head of Amazon Studio has just lost her job
Speaker 1: over this. That's like literally this week over this. Because
Speaker 1: they acquired Bond all these years ago, they haven't gotten
Speaker 1: a movie made because it's all this, it's all this
Speaker 1: red tape bullshit suit stuff. They haven't named a Bond
Speaker 1: because Amazon's been shitting the bed trying to get a
Speaker 1: movie made.
Speaker 2: That's absurd. It's absurd maker a woman.
Speaker 1: They're not going to come on. Okay, if you're gonna
Speaker 1: say fucking stupid things.
Speaker 2: You know what, man talk, move away. And also I
Speaker 2: have to be I have to be all honest about
Speaker 2: something here. I've only seen photos of these men. I
Speaker 2: haven't seen a single Bond film from most of these guys.
Speaker 2: The only ones I've seen prior to, like Sean Connery's
Speaker 2: to this one was Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig.
Speaker 1: I think he's up the Sean Connery is really hot
Speaker 1: in this movie. But there is something about stars in
Speaker 1: this era that I think they're gonna smell like cigarettes
Speaker 1: and whiskey all the time. Yeah, like it.
Speaker 2: So it's feature not a book.
Speaker 1: And it's also it's also like we have been trained
Speaker 1: to believe these men should look like gods. And he
Speaker 1: looks like a normal fit man, which is how it
Speaker 1: should be.
Speaker 2: Sick apple Bottom, though, I have to say, I have
Speaker 2: to say.
Speaker 1: But we're talking like just facially, just let's just.
Speaker 2: Do face, just because otherwise Daniel Craigan will walk. It's
Speaker 2: not even close.
Speaker 1: I think it might be Roger Moore.
Speaker 2: You think Roger Moore has the prettiest face of all
Speaker 2: the bonds.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm seeing piercing blue eyes.
Speaker 2: I was not expecting that answer, A.
Speaker 1: Just just face because Pierce Browsman's almost like he looks
Speaker 1: like a picture. Mm hmm. I feel like Roger Moore's
Speaker 1: a little character.
Speaker 2: Oh, I feel okay, okay, okay, but.
Speaker 1: I'm not sold yet. This is off the top of
Speaker 1: my head.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna zagzig u zig too, because I actually thought
Speaker 2: you were gonna say Daniel Craig or Chris Brosnan one
Speaker 2: of our bonds, but you are also so hot for
Speaker 2: Sean Connery. Last night we were watching this movie that
Speaker 2: I thought maybe Conrie was gonna swoop it in a
Speaker 2: I think Conrie is just is the third hottest bond. Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go and this is people are gonna be
Speaker 2: People are gonna be like, what did she just say?
Speaker 2: Timothy Dalton so fucking hot? Okay, I love Timothy Dalton. Okay,
Speaker 2: Timothy Dalton hottest Bond. I said what I said, But
Speaker 2: are you.
Speaker 1: Are you adding in personality? Are you adding in rakishness?
Speaker 2: Yes? Okay, because that's the that is the whole basis
Speaker 2: of which Bond is based on the I love that smile,
Speaker 2: that Timothy Dalton smile. It's so hot. I'm gonna go.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go Pierce Brosnan just based on prettiness. He's
Speaker 2: very pretty. And then I'm gonna go Sean Connery.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think facially Daniel Craig, who is,
Speaker 1: to be clear, light years better looking than I am.
Speaker 1: It's probably the least like like handsome handsome. He looks
Speaker 1: like a like like a gangster in a in a
Speaker 1: in a Guy Richie movie.
Speaker 2: Yeah he has got he's got a mug, he's got character.
Speaker 1: Face.
Speaker 2: He's physically the hand the best of them all. But yes,
Speaker 2: but face.
Speaker 1: We will all remember his tiny little boy shorts walking
Speaker 1: out of that rush.
Speaker 2: Do you know I never saw that that one that
Speaker 2: was worth.
Speaker 1: It, worth it for that moment alone. Okay, so let
Speaker 1: us know who you think the hottest bond is.
Speaker 2: We should do a bond bracket, a.
Speaker 1: Bond bracket maybe maybe we'll get some voting going.
Speaker 2: And also I have to give George Lazimbia a shot.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe we have to look at George last. I genuinely
Speaker 1: don't know what he looks like. He maybe he's gorgeous. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's the end of the show because I'm not offering
Speaker 1: your palate cleanser. Are you suck? No? No, no, no
Speaker 1: go listen to Shirley Bassie. If you want a palate cleanser,
Speaker 1: just listen to Shirley Bassie. Everyone listening can please if
Speaker 1: they would be so kind, follow us on social media.
Speaker 1: We are on Blue Sky, We're on Threads. We are
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Speaker 1: We would love it if you leave a five star.
Speaker 1: You ont Apple podcast or any podcasting platform that you use.
Speaker 1: Do we need a baby blue terry cloth romper on
Speaker 1: a T shirt? On a T shirt? Maybe just just
Speaker 1: the actual look.
Speaker 2: Maybe we sell baby blue rompers.
Speaker 1: Look, I am serious. We get enough sign ups on Patreon.
Speaker 1: I think I said five before, let's up it to ten.
Speaker 1: Ten signups on Patreon. I will do my level best
Speaker 1: to find that rapper.
Speaker 2: I will make one. It'll take a while, but I'll
Speaker 2: do it.
Speaker 1: Uh leave a five star of you on Apple Podcasts
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Speaker 1: age Well, which we'll tell you how.
Speaker 2: That aged Well is produced and edited by Paul Pushykola,
Speaker 2: Oh Big Polly, Big Polly, Paul Haggish Precaola. We would
Speaker 2: like to thank everyone who requested any of the Bond
Speaker 2: films this month. There were so many, specifically Marcus for
Speaker 2: bringing up Goldfinger Yeah, and our for voting for Goldfinger.
Speaker 2: There was one very impassioned plea for of you to
Speaker 2: a kill which made me want to watch it.
Speaker 1: It did so.
Speaker 2: I don't remember exactly who requested that one, but you
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Speaker 1: Some of those tears come with thank you. We don't
Speaker 1: have a thank you today. We don't have a visit
Speaker 1: from double ow Panties. Oh no, no, if only we
Speaker 1: had had a chance to do the voice earlier in
Speaker 1: the episode A but yes, Erica, do you have any
Speaker 1: final thoughts on Goldfinger?
Speaker 2: Gold Finger? We're gonna blow out my voice?
Speaker 1: Why are than a mile?
Speaker 2: He's got a gold paint. It's a schlog, a schlong
Speaker 2: made of solid gold.
Speaker 1: He loves only per se.
Speaker 2: He'll put gold in your possess.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm gone.