Speaker 1: All right, y'all, Hey my mom, come on, Hey, this
is no Abuse no More with your host doctor and
the mandelis Hey Rich hope you to admit what you
feel in order to heal from the effects of narcissistic abuse, because.
Speaker 2: Your phillies do matter. How you are doing on this Friday,
beautiful morning. Yay, I prayed that you all of it
a blessed morning. This is doctor k O Rich or
nark Abuse no More, helping you to admit what you
feel in order to heal from the facts of narcissistic
abuse because your feelings do matter, Yes they do. But
before we go on with today's podcast, I like to
invite you to visit us on our website at www
dot narc na arc Abuse No More dot net, www
dot nrc n A r C Abuse No More dot net.
And we're on every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at ten
am Eastern Standard time, nine a m. Central. And that
is on various platforms a spreaker, Our Heart Radio, Spotify,
oh what else, Apple Podcasts and some others. All right,
tomorrow what is women? Yeah, Tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Let me
let hey, let me let you all know something okay,
because we talk about that love bombing. Okay, if you
don't know what love bombing is, this might be the
first time that you listen to this podcast. If you
don't know what love bombing is, it's when your abuse
or does something kind, but at the end of it
is the bomb. Okay, So what are we talking about?
Around Valentine's Day, they'll come bring you all the flowers
and the roses and all the candies and all those
kind of things, and then after that then you'll be
into the biggest fight that you probably ever have lived through. Rather,
it's emotional, physical, spiritual, and all kinds of other types
of emotional abuse. Don't fall for it, Okay, know what
you are dealing with? All right? What are we talking
about today? We're talking about the holy or should I
say the unholy narcissists. The holy or unholy narcissists. You
know what, Spiritual narcissists can be some of the worst narcissists. Okay,
especially if you have a belief, you have belief in God,
then they can damage you spiritually. So we're actually talking
about spiritual abuse, the unholy not so holy narcissist. I
want to read to you this post that I had
seen on social media, and I forget who is from
mental health? With what is it mental health? With ami
amo yi amo ye if I'm pronouncing that right. But
this this lady outlines, uh for a spiritual yeah, actually
spiritual abuse and dealing with the narcissists. So I want
to read this to you because I found it very,
very interesting. And I actually had done my dissertation on
spiritual abuse and I'm gonna put that into a book eventually,
my dissertation that I did for about spiritual abuse. But
I want to read this to you, uh, what she
had to say, And she says the whole Holy narcissists
is one of the most dangerous versions of all because
they hide behind God to avoid accountability. They don't just
manipulate emotions, they manipulate faith. Scriptures become a weapon, prayer
becomes a performance, and spiritual authority becomes a shield they
use to silence questions, doubts, and boundaries. To them, disagreement
isn't discussion, it's rebellion. If you challenge them, you're not
just wrong, you're suddenly unspiritual. What makes the holy narcissist
so confusing is the contrast, Publicly they appear humble, prayerful, disciplined,
and devoted. Privately, they are controlling, condemning, emotionally cruel, and
deeply entitled. They demand grace for themselves, but offer judgment
to everyone else. They preach love while practicing fear, and
when horm what happens, they spiritualize it, telling you to forgive, submit,
or pray harder. Instead of taking responsibility. The holy narcissist
thrives on moral superiority. They don't just want to be admired,
they want to be seen as chosen. This is why
they struggle with correction. Any feedback feels like an attack
on their identity, not their behavior. Rather than repent, they
rewrite the story, casting themselves as persecuted, misunderstood, or spiritually attacked.
Accountability threatens their image, so they avoid it at all costs. Spirituality,
I'm sorry. Spiritually abusive relationships often leave deeper wounds than
obvious one. Obvious ones. Victims walk away, not only doubting themselves,
but doubting God. They feel confused, guilty, and afraid, wondering
if leaving was sinful or if enduring pain was somehow holy.
That's the cruel irony. The very faith meant to heal
becomes tangled with trauma because it was filtered through someone
who used God to dominate instead of serve. Here's the
plain truth and simple issue about it. God does not
need cruelty to prove holiness. Control is not leadership. Fear
is not faith. Anyone who uses God to excuse harm
is not representing him their exploiting belief for power. Walking
away from spiritual abuse is not a failure of faith
is often the first step toward reclaiming it. Oh that's powerful.
I love it. I love it, And I want to
break this down because you know, when you're dealing with
these type of individuals who are spiritually spiritual narcissists, they
are very spiritually manipulative, and they will have you doubting God.
They will have you believe in that God is on
their side, but God is against you. So everything that
they do and their eyes is right, and everything that
you do is wrong. And unless you are oban or
being submissive to them, then they will have you feeling
as if God is against you. So I want to
highlight some things that was said in this particular post.
So one of the things that's important to know. And
there was a part too to this post, and I'm
gonna talk about some things with that. One of the
things that narcissists or spiritual narcissists will do is they
are very selective in how they apply scripture. They do
not apply scripture when it comes to what they're doing
to abuse the individual. So they will tell you they
will preach obedience. They will tell you you need to
be humble, they will tell you that you need to
be self sacrificing. They will tell you that you need
to pray more and listen to God more. But the
thing is they do not apply these principles to themselves.
They can watch preaching, teaching, evangelism, then they can surround
themselves in ministry, but the ministry of God is not
on the inside of them. The Bible talks about those
that have a form of Godliness but deny the power
thereof Whether does that mean that means that they look
the part okay? In public, they act the part all right,
but behind closed doors they're anything but being the part okay.
I've often said on my It is Finished in Times
Ministries podcast, I described where as Christians were to be
the body of Christ. All right, That means that we're
Jesus is the head and there's many different parts, so
we all have different spiritual gifts that God has endowed
believers with. However, some people claim to be the body
of Christ, but they're nothing more than prosthetic limbs. What
do I mean by that? Okay, when you're dealing for example,
when the soldier has gone to war, and we know
we have a lot of veterans that have come back
and they have unfortunately encountered blasts maybe that have caused
them to lose limbs, such as their legs or arm
or something of that nature. And so what they what
the VA or what the military does is send them
to occupational therapists, physical therapists, different ones that can help
them to be able to regain their independence again. And
they do that by giving them a prosthetic limb. So
this limb helps them to find their to be able
to live independently again as close to what they were before. Okay,
So when they have when they put on these limbs,
if they lost their legs or whatever, they will put
these limbs on. It takes a while for them to
get used to and they so they have to go
to the therapy in order to be able to teach
them how to put it on, how to walk, how
to maintain. There's a lot that goes into it, okay,
but the thing is is to help them to gain
their independence again.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 2: But the thing about these prosthetic limbs is that regardless
of how you are able to move and maneuver and
do all these wonderful great things with it, they will
never actually become a part of the actual body. All right. Now,
I know science is moving in various directions, but I'm
not talking about that. I'm talking about with regular prosthetic limbs.
So I say, when you're dealing with a narcissist, a narcissist,
a spiritual narcissist is like a prosthetic limb. They look
the part, they act a part, they do the part
in some ways publicly, but behind closed doors they throw
off the prosthetic peace and they're never actually a true
part of the body of Christ because they're showing anything
but being the body of Christ behind closed doors. And
so this is what happens when you're dealing with a
spiritual narsis. Everyone is expected to forgive, forget, and heal
and all that, but then the narcissists does not hold
themselves to the same standard that they're making everybody else,
are causing everybody else to believe in. Actually, the narcissists
is damaging to one's faith. If you are around a
narcissist that calls themselves a Christian, that is some of
the most dangerous situations that you can find yourself in,
because if it will make you doubt God, they will
make you feel as if God is endorsing and putting
a stamp of approval on their behavior, when in actuality
they're showing anything but the love of God. So, therefore,
when you are dealing with the spiritual narcissists, it is
so important to know what is of God and what
is not of God. And when you're dealing with the narcissist,
they are not a representation of who God is. Instead
of addressing things that they have done. Because the Bible
tells us, if we confess our sins, he is faithful
and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from
all unrighteousness. But the narcissist does not confess their sins.
What they do is they make excuses for it, and
then they gas like you to make you think that
they have not done anything wrong. So they will tell
the world that, oh, I haven't done anything wrong. Oh
I am good with God. Oh I'm good, I'm in
good standing with God, when in actuality they don't even
know God. Because to know him, to truly know him,
is to be like him. And what do I mean, like,
what do I mean by that? By allowing God to
be on the inside of you, the Holy Spirit to
be on the incide of you. And so therefore, when
a narcissist is abusing, that is not a God, because
God is not an abusive father. When they are demeaning
you and belitling you and devaluing you, that is not
who God is because in the Word of God he
says that I am the head, and not to tell
I am above and not beneath. The Bible lets us
know that we are fearfully and we are wonderfully made,
and we are to know that full well. So God
is not an abuser if someone is constantly putting you down,
but God is saying that for God's so loved the world.
And John three sixteen it says, for God so loved
the world that he gave is only begdden son, that
whosoever believes in me should not perish, but have everlast
in life. And so God sacrificed himself so that we
may have life. So when the abuser, when a narcissist
is abusing you and devaluing you and belittling you and
causing you to doubt who who you are in God,
and guess what that is of the enemy that is
not of God? And that person is a demonic entity
from the piece of hell. You know, the Bible, let
us know that we wrestle not against flesh and blood,
but against dark powers, against dark forces. And what we're
seeing is when you're dealing with the narcissists, you're not
just dealing with a person. You know, you're dealing with
the entity that is inside that individual. But see, when
you're dealing with the narcissists, they want you to make
you feel as if you're the one that is spiritually deficit,
You're the one that's not equipment. Unless you meet their
particular standard, then you are out of fellowship with not
only them, but with God. And it is so important
to have a relationship with God for yourself because if
you look to if you look to God through the
eyes of the narcissists. You're gonna be looking to at
someone that is abusive, manipulative, control and domineer it. And
this is not who God is. We're gonna take a
quick break and we'll be back in just a moment.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we need our days with our wounds.
Speaker 5: Were sights fill this and sight between need the Lord God.
We didn't love us know, but the other one was feeling.
Speaker 3: Be coudn't now crossed the ld and neither way we
stop speaking.
Speaker 5: So once we just read THEO.
Speaker 6: And that God, oh well we could and ship this
a load of sur vibe side the conversations rasdry when
we didn't have thingsis when we stayed and didn't have.
Speaker 5: This is a load of usurvin sizes not loud. Got
you mad.
Speaker 6: It's too hard to choosing face, chose fool things fall instead.
Speaker 3: There w poses me and so to stop and almost
pride to the talk.
Speaker 5: But time reveal the deep the truth for want breaking
just all we learn that space getting here praises in
the room. Lord doesn't die cry, it dies.
Speaker 4: When so.
Speaker 5: We start trying to end and started trying to understand
there's a lot that's sur vibe side through.
Speaker 3: Scenes between fell f faith was the only lad speaking.
This is a lot that's surprise side, and that's how
I know it's raining.
Speaker 5: Because everything got prime. We still choose cool. So let's
can be teach. If you let it shake in your home,
it shows you.
Speaker 6: What it's fast.
Speaker 5: All father call. If was only not God, it still
be a love that trust in God.
Speaker 4: God has nohing to face. There's a love that survives,
still breathe and still alive, not because it was, but
because we didn't let it die.
Speaker 5: This is a love that survive side.
Speaker 3: I understand. Real love doesn't disappear just house some love
phase when it gets quiet.
Speaker 2: Hospital love that survives silence. That's the name of that song.
All right, all right, So we're still talking about the
spiritual narcissist and how they do damage to those that
have a faith in God or even those that would
come to God because of the misrepresentation of what the
narcissist stands for in relation to God. One thing that
was in this particular post I wanted to mention is
I want to read this. It says the holy narcissist
also has a habit of spiritual bypassing instead of addressing
real harm. They redirect everything to prayer, silence, or time,
let God handle it, because it's a way to avoid accountability.
And I want to stop right there, because you know,
we are to let God deal with our situations. But
the Bible also lets us know that we are to
bear one another's burdens and that we are to be
ministers of reconciliation. So what the narcissist does is twists
as this are the says here. This post here says
they twist things instead of actually dealing with the issues,
and they want you to sweep the issues up under
the rug instead of bringing them to the forefront and
dealing with it so that there can be accountability. The
narcissists always tries to avoid accountability. They will never hardly
admit that they do anything wrong, say anything wrong, treat
people wrong, abuse people, and manipulate people. They won't admit that.
And so therefore, when you are dealing with narcissists, they
try to cover it up. They cover it up by
whether it's love bombing, doing acts of kindness to really
cover what they are actually about, okay, or they appear
in the public eye as this wonderful self sacrifice in giving.
Individuals went behind those doors. They are monsters to those
who are around them. The people behind closed doors see
the actual truth about the narcissists.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 2: The thing about it is that when someone has encountered
these particular individuals, they feel they sometimes feel as if,
you know, God is against them, that God, for some reason,
God is punishing them. And and the thing is, it's
not about God at all when it comes to narcissist.
What it does show is that they don't know God,
they don't have God on the inside of them. So
what they do is they surround themselves what I call
the flying monkeys. Okay, this is the flying monkeys, the
people who do the narcissist bidding. They surround themselves by
people who see the the the polished version of them,
the fake version of them, the mass, the masks that
they wear. And so therefore they'll surround themselves, whether it's
the church leaders or followers, or othermirers or friends they're
they'll surround themselves by people who only see what they
want them to see. And so therefore, when someone speaks
against the narcissists and stands up for against what the
narcissists is doing, then they're perceived as being rebellious or unspiritual,
or ungodly or divisive.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 2: They they they're they're looked upon as being trouble makers
when in actuality, that person is speaking truth. But because
the narcissist has done such a good job of camouflage
where people do not see who they really are, then
others will look to the victim as if they're the problem,
when it's actually the narcissist. And so when you're when
you're when you're dealing with the spiritual narcissists, they will
make you feel as if God is against you. God
is gonna get you. God is gonna punish you, God
is gonna do trouble your waters. God is gonna and
don't let anything happen. Oh see, that's what I'm talking about.
God is getting you. But then the thing is who
is getting the person who's doing the abuse. You know,
the Bible says man looks at the outward appearance, but
God looks at the heart. And so while this narcissist
is baking it and maybe even causing other people to
believe that they're the epitome of salvation, the thing is.
Speaker 5: They need salvation.
Speaker 2: They need Jesus because pride will not enter in. And
one thing that caused, if you know, for the war
in heaven with Michael and God's angels against the devil
and his angels Lucifer at the time, Lucifer fell because
of pride and narcissists. Everything about a narcissist is wrapped
up in a package called pride. They don't they can't
face the truth about themselves, so they rewrite the narrative.
They're not holy, they're unholy, they're not spiritual, they're demonic.
They don't heal, they still, they don't. They they don't forgive,
they hold grudges, they don't. They don't operate in restoration.
It's a demolition process. When you're dealing with a narcissist.
They operate in entitlement. Instead of saying that you know
what I need to do better in my behavior, they
feel that they get a free pass, a free get
out of jail card when it comes to their walk
with God, which is no walk at all. This is
who the spiritual narcissist is. We're gonna take another quick
break and we'll be back in just a moment.
Speaker 7: M h, Yeah, I used to wrestle up, try to
force guy's hand. The boy had to promise without becoming man,
and I it was I never let here.
Speaker 5: Has getting helping for something that I wasn't ready to feel.
High prayers or selfish.
Speaker 6: Rules change escape thee for God's little bound the price
to someone to shape you.
Speaker 5: First, he tell me patience.
Speaker 4: In a little.
Speaker 5: Build my face nothing for high. He from my heart
stretched my choice, so love wood and brain. Well, life
got around.
Speaker 6: This is love that okay, after truth, after tears, after let.
Speaker 5: Go, after God built my soul. Now I know had
lot of you.
Speaker 6: This is last.
Speaker 5: Let you see this is grace. Then that be. Then
I thank God for Robby Kate because it's love King quote.
You don't know the man. I used to be the
private feeling in security. I had to learn how to heap.
Speaker 7: Portrayal before I could promise I'd always care God here
the boy inside the man tell.
Speaker 5: Me love is more than place. Now when I say I'm.
Speaker 7: Here to stay homey forever, not just today, I will
love sacrifice now I feel is the favorite.
Speaker 5: Now, yes, this ain't for deep in God for and
I'm playing the key. This is love that same after
f after fire, after who after God dream five my soul.
Now I know how to love you.
Speaker 3: Tell somebody say fantasy miss true, this is Dai.
Speaker 5: Fucking and shoes. I think God, who I'll be can't
because it's love king. If I bet you back in
time wood.
Speaker 3: A fair would who held you have faith, had your fair,
the kind mood, the timing was key.
Speaker 5: So he worked on you and he worked on me.
Speaker 6: Now I love you steady hands with pray from Din
said future plan.
Speaker 5: It's not perfect, but it's made it to the mass
Dell Broman loving you. This is love that king that
the grow.
Speaker 3: That waited where to gorypen soul.
Speaker 5: Now I know how love you. A lot of reship
you should. I worship nobody. I love you to baby,
and I thank God for Ibby Kate because it's love
king bad after to come.
Speaker 2: And that is love that came after growth and yes, yes, yes,
uh you know. Sometimes you go through things such as
dealing with narcissists and it can stunt your growth. And
God is trying to say, you know what, let me
teach you, let me love you, Let me show you
who I truly am, and not through the eyes of
your abuser. You have to get to know him for
yourself apart from what you have seen through abuse. Because
God is not an abusive father. He loves, he cares,
he replenishes, he refeels, he restores. And if you are
dealing with someone that has spiritually abused you, you first
have to recognize that what they have done is not love.
It is abuse. You may have been conditioned to feel
that you know this is what God is, but then
it's not when you read in and First Corinthians, I
actually want to go there right now. First Corinthians, chapter thirteen.
And because so many people don't know what true love is.
And I love reading about you know what love is
because you know the world has given all kind of
misrepresentations of what love really is. And it's not that way.
And in First Corinthians, chapter four, and I want you
to I'm sorry. First Corinthian Chapter thirteen, verse four, starting
at verse four. First Corinthian Chapter thirteen, starting at verse four.
And this is what love is. Love is patient, Love
is kind. It does not envy, It does not boast.
It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It
is not self seeking, It is not easily angered. It
keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not rejoice or
delight in evil, but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always, trust,
always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. And I want
to just skip down the verse thirteen where it says,
and now these three remain faith, hope, and love. But
the greatest of these is love. And I heard that
you know, those who are listening to this podcast today,
that you will take this to heart. In one Corinthians thirteen,
starting in verse four, it defines what love is, and
everything that you read here is opposite of what a
narcissist is. Love is patient, Love is kind, Love does
not envy, Love does not both. It is not proud,
It does not dishonor others. It is not self seeking,
It is not easily angered. It keeps no records of rome.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with truth.
It always protects, always, trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Love
never fails. And if you are dealing with the narcissists,
then you're getting the opposite of who God really is.
Get to know them for yourself. Don't deal with a
spiritual narcissist that is not spiritual at all, do not
deal with a narcissist that call themselves holy, but then
it's an unholy alliance. Love never fails, and that true love,
that true love comes from God. All right, we are
aboudy here. I pray, I pray that today's podcast has
been a blessing to you. It is always an honor
to come before you. This is doctor ko Rich. I
pray did you have a bless and wonderful weekend? Until
next time, the