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Speaker 1: All right, y'all, Hey my mom, come on, Hey, this

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is no Abuse no More with your host doctor and

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the mandelis Hey Rich hope you to admit what you

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feel in order to heal from the effects of narcissistic abuse, because.

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Speaker 2: Your phillies do matter. How you are doing on this Friday,

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beautiful morning. Yay, I prayed that you all of it

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a blessed morning. This is doctor k O Rich or

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nark Abuse no More, helping you to admit what you

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feel in order to heal from the facts of narcissistic

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abuse because your feelings do matter, Yes they do. But

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before we go on with today's podcast, I like to

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invite you to visit us on our website at www

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dot narc na arc Abuse No More dot net, www

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dot nrc n A r C Abuse No More dot net.

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And we're on every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at ten

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am Eastern Standard time, nine a m. Central. And that

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is on various platforms a spreaker, Our Heart Radio, Spotify,

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oh what else, Apple Podcasts and some others. All right,

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tomorrow what is women? Yeah, Tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Let me

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let hey, let me let you all know something okay,

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because we talk about that love bombing. Okay, if you

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don't know what love bombing is, this might be the

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first time that you listen to this podcast. If you

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don't know what love bombing is, it's when your abuse

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or does something kind, but at the end of it

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is the bomb. Okay, So what are we talking about?

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Around Valentine's Day, they'll come bring you all the flowers

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and the roses and all the candies and all those

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kind of things, and then after that then you'll be

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into the biggest fight that you probably ever have lived through. Rather,

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it's emotional, physical, spiritual, and all kinds of other types

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of emotional abuse. Don't fall for it, Okay, know what

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you are dealing with? All right? What are we talking

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about today? We're talking about the holy or should I

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say the unholy narcissists. The holy or unholy narcissists. You

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know what, Spiritual narcissists can be some of the worst narcissists. Okay,

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especially if you have a belief, you have belief in God,

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then they can damage you spiritually. So we're actually talking

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about spiritual abuse, the unholy not so holy narcissist. I

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want to read to you this post that I had

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seen on social media, and I forget who is from

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mental health? With what is it mental health? With ami

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amo yi amo ye if I'm pronouncing that right. But

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this this lady outlines, uh for a spiritual yeah, actually

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spiritual abuse and dealing with the narcissists. So I want

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to read this to you because I found it very,

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very interesting. And I actually had done my dissertation on

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spiritual abuse and I'm gonna put that into a book eventually,

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my dissertation that I did for about spiritual abuse. But

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I want to read this to you, uh, what she

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had to say, And she says the whole Holy narcissists

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is one of the most dangerous versions of all because

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they hide behind God to avoid accountability. They don't just

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manipulate emotions, they manipulate faith. Scriptures become a weapon, prayer

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becomes a performance, and spiritual authority becomes a shield they

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use to silence questions, doubts, and boundaries. To them, disagreement

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isn't discussion, it's rebellion. If you challenge them, you're not

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just wrong, you're suddenly unspiritual. What makes the holy narcissist

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so confusing is the contrast, Publicly they appear humble, prayerful, disciplined,

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and devoted. Privately, they are controlling, condemning, emotionally cruel, and

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deeply entitled. They demand grace for themselves, but offer judgment

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to everyone else. They preach love while practicing fear, and

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when horm what happens, they spiritualize it, telling you to forgive, submit,

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or pray harder. Instead of taking responsibility. The holy narcissist

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thrives on moral superiority. They don't just want to be admired,

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they want to be seen as chosen. This is why

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they struggle with correction. Any feedback feels like an attack

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on their identity, not their behavior. Rather than repent, they

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rewrite the story, casting themselves as persecuted, misunderstood, or spiritually attacked.

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Accountability threatens their image, so they avoid it at all costs. Spirituality,

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I'm sorry. Spiritually abusive relationships often leave deeper wounds than

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obvious one. Obvious ones. Victims walk away, not only doubting themselves,

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but doubting God. They feel confused, guilty, and afraid, wondering

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if leaving was sinful or if enduring pain was somehow holy.

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That's the cruel irony. The very faith meant to heal

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becomes tangled with trauma because it was filtered through someone

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who used God to dominate instead of serve. Here's the

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plain truth and simple issue about it. God does not

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need cruelty to prove holiness. Control is not leadership. Fear

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is not faith. Anyone who uses God to excuse harm

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is not representing him their exploiting belief for power. Walking

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away from spiritual abuse is not a failure of faith

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is often the first step toward reclaiming it. Oh that's powerful.

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I love it. I love it, And I want to

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break this down because you know, when you're dealing with

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these type of individuals who are spiritually spiritual narcissists, they

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are very spiritually manipulative, and they will have you doubting God.

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They will have you believe in that God is on

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their side, but God is against you. So everything that

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they do and their eyes is right, and everything that

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you do is wrong. And unless you are oban or

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being submissive to them, then they will have you feeling

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as if God is against you. So I want to

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highlight some things that was said in this particular post.

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So one of the things that's important to know. And

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there was a part too to this post, and I'm

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gonna talk about some things with that. One of the

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things that narcissists or spiritual narcissists will do is they

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are very selective in how they apply scripture. They do

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not apply scripture when it comes to what they're doing

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to abuse the individual. So they will tell you they

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will preach obedience. They will tell you you need to

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be humble, they will tell you that you need to

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be self sacrificing. They will tell you that you need

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to pray more and listen to God more. But the

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thing is they do not apply these principles to themselves.

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They can watch preaching, teaching, evangelism, then they can surround

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themselves in ministry, but the ministry of God is not

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on the inside of them. The Bible talks about those

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that have a form of Godliness but deny the power

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thereof Whether does that mean that means that they look

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the part okay? In public, they act the part all right,

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but behind closed doors they're anything but being the part okay.

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I've often said on my It is Finished in Times

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Ministries podcast, I described where as Christians were to be

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the body of Christ. All right, That means that we're

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Jesus is the head and there's many different parts, so

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we all have different spiritual gifts that God has endowed

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believers with. However, some people claim to be the body

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of Christ, but they're nothing more than prosthetic limbs. What

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do I mean by that? Okay, when you're dealing for example,

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when the soldier has gone to war, and we know

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we have a lot of veterans that have come back

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and they have unfortunately encountered blasts maybe that have caused

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them to lose limbs, such as their legs or arm

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or something of that nature. And so what they what

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the VA or what the military does is send them

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to occupational therapists, physical therapists, different ones that can help

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them to be able to regain their independence again. And

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they do that by giving them a prosthetic limb. So

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this limb helps them to find their to be able

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to live independently again as close to what they were before. Okay,

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So when they have when they put on these limbs,

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if they lost their legs or whatever, they will put

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these limbs on. It takes a while for them to

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get used to and they so they have to go

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to the therapy in order to be able to teach

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them how to put it on, how to walk, how

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to maintain. There's a lot that goes into it, okay,

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but the thing is is to help them to gain

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their independence again.

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Speaker 3: All right.

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Speaker 2: But the thing about these prosthetic limbs is that regardless

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of how you are able to move and maneuver and

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do all these wonderful great things with it, they will

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never actually become a part of the actual body. All right. Now,

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I know science is moving in various directions, but I'm

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not talking about that. I'm talking about with regular prosthetic limbs.

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So I say, when you're dealing with a narcissist, a narcissist,

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a spiritual narcissist is like a prosthetic limb. They look

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the part, they act a part, they do the part

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in some ways publicly, but behind closed doors they throw

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off the prosthetic peace and they're never actually a true

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part of the body of Christ because they're showing anything

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but being the body of Christ behind closed doors. And

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so this is what happens when you're dealing with a

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spiritual narsis. Everyone is expected to forgive, forget, and heal

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and all that, but then the narcissists does not hold

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themselves to the same standard that they're making everybody else,

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are causing everybody else to believe in. Actually, the narcissists

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is damaging to one's faith. If you are around a

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narcissist that calls themselves a Christian, that is some of

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the most dangerous situations that you can find yourself in,

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because if it will make you doubt God, they will

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make you feel as if God is endorsing and putting

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a stamp of approval on their behavior, when in actuality

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they're showing anything but the love of God. So, therefore,

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when you are dealing with the spiritual narcissists, it is

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so important to know what is of God and what

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is not of God. And when you're dealing with the narcissist,

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they are not a representation of who God is. Instead

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of addressing things that they have done. Because the Bible

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tells us, if we confess our sins, he is faithful

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and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from

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all unrighteousness. But the narcissist does not confess their sins.

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What they do is they make excuses for it, and

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then they gas like you to make you think that

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they have not done anything wrong. So they will tell

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the world that, oh, I haven't done anything wrong. Oh

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I am good with God. Oh I'm good, I'm in

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good standing with God, when in actuality they don't even

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know God. Because to know him, to truly know him,

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is to be like him. And what do I mean, like,

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what do I mean by that? By allowing God to

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be on the inside of you, the Holy Spirit to

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be on the incide of you. And so therefore, when

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a narcissist is abusing, that is not a God, because

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God is not an abusive father. When they are demeaning

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you and belitling you and devaluing you, that is not

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who God is because in the Word of God he

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says that I am the head, and not to tell

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I am above and not beneath. The Bible lets us

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know that we are fearfully and we are wonderfully made,

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and we are to know that full well. So God

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is not an abuser if someone is constantly putting you down,

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but God is saying that for God's so loved the world.

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And John three sixteen it says, for God so loved

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the world that he gave is only begdden son, that

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whosoever believes in me should not perish, but have everlast

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in life. And so God sacrificed himself so that we

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may have life. So when the abuser, when a narcissist

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is abusing you and devaluing you and belittling you and

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causing you to doubt who who you are in God,

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and guess what that is of the enemy that is

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not of God? And that person is a demonic entity

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from the piece of hell. You know, the Bible, let

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us know that we wrestle not against flesh and blood,

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but against dark powers, against dark forces. And what we're

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seeing is when you're dealing with the narcissists, you're not

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just dealing with a person. You know, you're dealing with

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the entity that is inside that individual. But see, when

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you're dealing with the narcissists, they want you to make

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you feel as if you're the one that is spiritually deficit,

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You're the one that's not equipment. Unless you meet their

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particular standard, then you are out of fellowship with not

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only them, but with God. And it is so important

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to have a relationship with God for yourself because if

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you look to if you look to God through the

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eyes of the narcissists. You're gonna be looking to at

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someone that is abusive, manipulative, control and domineer it. And

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this is not who God is. We're gonna take a

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quick break and we'll be back in just a moment.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we need our days with our wounds.

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Speaker 5: Were sights fill this and sight between need the Lord God.

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We didn't love us know, but the other one was feeling.

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Speaker 3: Be coudn't now crossed the ld and neither way we

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stop speaking.

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Speaker 5: So once we just read THEO.

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Speaker 6: And that God, oh well we could and ship this

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a load of sur vibe side the conversations rasdry when

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we didn't have thingsis when we stayed and didn't have.

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Speaker 5: This is a load of usurvin sizes not loud. Got

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you mad.

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Speaker 6: It's too hard to choosing face, chose fool things fall instead.

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Speaker 3: There w poses me and so to stop and almost

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pride to the talk.

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Speaker 5: But time reveal the deep the truth for want breaking

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just all we learn that space getting here praises in

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the room. Lord doesn't die cry, it dies.

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Speaker 4: When so.

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Speaker 5: We start trying to end and started trying to understand

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there's a lot that's sur vibe side through.

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Speaker 3: Scenes between fell f faith was the only lad speaking.

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This is a lot that's surprise side, and that's how

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I know it's raining.

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Speaker 5: Because everything got prime. We still choose cool. So let's

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can be teach. If you let it shake in your home,

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it shows you.

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Speaker 6: What it's fast.

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Speaker 5: All father call. If was only not God, it still

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be a love that trust in God.

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Speaker 4: God has nohing to face. There's a love that survives,

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still breathe and still alive, not because it was, but

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because we didn't let it die.

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Speaker 5: This is a love that survive side.

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Speaker 3: I understand. Real love doesn't disappear just house some love

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phase when it gets quiet.

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Speaker 2: Hospital love that survives silence. That's the name of that song.

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All right, all right, So we're still talking about the

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spiritual narcissist and how they do damage to those that

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have a faith in God or even those that would

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come to God because of the misrepresentation of what the

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narcissist stands for in relation to God. One thing that

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was in this particular post I wanted to mention is

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I want to read this. It says the holy narcissist

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also has a habit of spiritual bypassing instead of addressing

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real harm. They redirect everything to prayer, silence, or time,

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let God handle it, because it's a way to avoid accountability.

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And I want to stop right there, because you know,

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we are to let God deal with our situations. But

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the Bible also lets us know that we are to

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bear one another's burdens and that we are to be

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ministers of reconciliation. So what the narcissist does is twists

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as this are the says here. This post here says

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they twist things instead of actually dealing with the issues,

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and they want you to sweep the issues up under

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the rug instead of bringing them to the forefront and

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dealing with it so that there can be accountability. The

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narcissists always tries to avoid accountability. They will never hardly

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admit that they do anything wrong, say anything wrong, treat

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people wrong, abuse people, and manipulate people. They won't admit that.

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And so therefore, when you are dealing with narcissists, they

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try to cover it up. They cover it up by

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whether it's love bombing, doing acts of kindness to really

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cover what they are actually about, okay, or they appear

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in the public eye as this wonderful self sacrifice in giving.

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Individuals went behind those doors. They are monsters to those

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who are around them. The people behind closed doors see

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the actual truth about the narcissists.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 2: The thing about it is that when someone has encountered

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these particular individuals, they feel they sometimes feel as if,

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you know, God is against them, that God, for some reason,

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God is punishing them. And and the thing is, it's

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not about God at all when it comes to narcissist.

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What it does show is that they don't know God,

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they don't have God on the inside of them. So

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what they do is they surround themselves what I call

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the flying monkeys. Okay, this is the flying monkeys, the

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people who do the narcissist bidding. They surround themselves by

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people who see the the the polished version of them,

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the fake version of them, the mass, the masks that

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they wear. And so therefore they'll surround themselves, whether it's

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the church leaders or followers, or othermirers or friends they're

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they'll surround themselves by people who only see what they

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want them to see. And so therefore, when someone speaks

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against the narcissists and stands up for against what the

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narcissists is doing, then they're perceived as being rebellious or unspiritual,

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or ungodly or divisive.

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Speaker 4: Uh.

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Speaker 2: They they they're they're looked upon as being trouble makers

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when in actuality, that person is speaking truth. But because

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the narcissist has done such a good job of camouflage

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where people do not see who they really are, then

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others will look to the victim as if they're the problem,

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when it's actually the narcissist. And so when you're when

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you're when you're dealing with the spiritual narcissists, they will

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make you feel as if God is against you. God

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is gonna get you. God is gonna punish you, God

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is gonna do trouble your waters. God is gonna and

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don't let anything happen. Oh see, that's what I'm talking about.

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God is getting you. But then the thing is who

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is getting the person who's doing the abuse. You know,

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the Bible says man looks at the outward appearance, but

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God looks at the heart. And so while this narcissist

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is baking it and maybe even causing other people to

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believe that they're the epitome of salvation, the thing is.

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Speaker 5: They need salvation.

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Speaker 2: They need Jesus because pride will not enter in. And

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one thing that caused, if you know, for the war

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in heaven with Michael and God's angels against the devil

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and his angels Lucifer at the time, Lucifer fell because

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of pride and narcissists. Everything about a narcissist is wrapped

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up in a package called pride. They don't they can't

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face the truth about themselves, so they rewrite the narrative.

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They're not holy, they're unholy, they're not spiritual, they're demonic.

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They don't heal, they still, they don't. They they don't forgive,

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they hold grudges, they don't. They don't operate in restoration.

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It's a demolition process. When you're dealing with a narcissist.

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They operate in entitlement. Instead of saying that you know

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what I need to do better in my behavior, they

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feel that they get a free pass, a free get

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out of jail card when it comes to their walk

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with God, which is no walk at all. This is

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who the spiritual narcissist is. We're gonna take another quick

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break and we'll be back in just a moment.

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Speaker 7: M h, Yeah, I used to wrestle up, try to

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force guy's hand. The boy had to promise without becoming man,

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and I it was I never let here.

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Speaker 5: Has getting helping for something that I wasn't ready to feel.

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High prayers or selfish.

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Speaker 6: Rules change escape thee for God's little bound the price

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to someone to shape you.

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Speaker 5: First, he tell me patience.

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Speaker 4: In a little.

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Speaker 5: Build my face nothing for high. He from my heart

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stretched my choice, so love wood and brain. Well, life

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got around.

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Speaker 6: This is love that okay, after truth, after tears, after let.

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Speaker 5: Go, after God built my soul. Now I know had

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lot of you.

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Speaker 6: This is last.

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Speaker 5: Let you see this is grace. Then that be. Then

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I thank God for Robby Kate because it's love King quote.

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You don't know the man. I used to be the

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private feeling in security. I had to learn how to heap.

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Speaker 7: Portrayal before I could promise I'd always care God here

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the boy inside the man tell.

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Speaker 5: Me love is more than place. Now when I say I'm.

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Speaker 7: Here to stay homey forever, not just today, I will

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love sacrifice now I feel is the favorite.

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Speaker 5: Now, yes, this ain't for deep in God for and

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I'm playing the key. This is love that same after

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f after fire, after who after God dream five my soul.

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Now I know how to love you.

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Speaker 3: Tell somebody say fantasy miss true, this is Dai.

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Speaker 5: Fucking and shoes. I think God, who I'll be can't

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because it's love king. If I bet you back in

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time wood.

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Speaker 3: A fair would who held you have faith, had your fair,

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the kind mood, the timing was key.

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Speaker 5: So he worked on you and he worked on me.

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Speaker 6: Now I love you steady hands with pray from Din

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said future plan.

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Speaker 5: It's not perfect, but it's made it to the mass

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Dell Broman loving you. This is love that king that

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the grow.

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Speaker 3: That waited where to gorypen soul.

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Speaker 5: Now I know how love you. A lot of reship

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you should. I worship nobody. I love you to baby,

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and I thank God for Ibby Kate because it's love

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king bad after to come.

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Speaker 2: And that is love that came after growth and yes, yes, yes,

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uh you know. Sometimes you go through things such as

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dealing with narcissists and it can stunt your growth. And

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God is trying to say, you know what, let me

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teach you, let me love you, Let me show you

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who I truly am, and not through the eyes of

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your abuser. You have to get to know him for

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yourself apart from what you have seen through abuse. Because

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God is not an abusive father. He loves, he cares,

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he replenishes, he refeels, he restores. And if you are

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dealing with someone that has spiritually abused you, you first

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have to recognize that what they have done is not love.

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It is abuse. You may have been conditioned to feel

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that you know this is what God is, but then

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it's not when you read in and First Corinthians, I

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actually want to go there right now. First Corinthians, chapter thirteen.

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And because so many people don't know what true love is.

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And I love reading about you know what love is

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because you know the world has given all kind of

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misrepresentations of what love really is. And it's not that way.

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And in First Corinthians, chapter four, and I want you

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to I'm sorry. First Corinthian Chapter thirteen, verse four, starting

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at verse four. First Corinthian Chapter thirteen, starting at verse four.

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And this is what love is. Love is patient, Love

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is kind. It does not envy, It does not boast.

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It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It

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is not self seeking, It is not easily angered. It

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keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not rejoice or

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delight in evil, but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always, trust,

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always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. And I want

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to just skip down the verse thirteen where it says,

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and now these three remain faith, hope, and love. But

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the greatest of these is love. And I heard that

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you know, those who are listening to this podcast today,

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that you will take this to heart. In one Corinthians thirteen,

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starting in verse four, it defines what love is, and

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everything that you read here is opposite of what a

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narcissist is. Love is patient, Love is kind, Love does

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not envy, Love does not both. It is not proud,

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It does not dishonor others. It is not self seeking,

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It is not easily angered. It keeps no records of rome.

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Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with truth.

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It always protects, always, trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Love

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never fails. And if you are dealing with the narcissists,

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then you're getting the opposite of who God really is.

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Get to know them for yourself. Don't deal with a

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spiritual narcissist that is not spiritual at all, do not

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deal with a narcissist that call themselves holy, but then

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it's an unholy alliance. Love never fails, and that true love,

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that true love comes from God. All right, we are

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aboudy here. I pray, I pray that today's podcast has

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been a blessing to you. It is always an honor

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to come before you. This is doctor ko Rich. I

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pray did you have a bless and wonderful weekend? Until

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next time, the