Speaker 1: And he's very, very aware that now that she has
let him into her garden, she's wondering if the expiration
date on their relationship that they discussed is still afoot.
And you know, I don't want to equate Joe to
Donald Trump, but you got to listen to what he's saying. Okay,
Joe very clearly says the expirations passed. He means it.
He's done, he's not talking about it's not a real
thing anymore. And he's so in love with you. No,
he came in you and you're expired, he said it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode that TV.
Speaker 1: I'm dealing.
Speaker 3: That's path permission to come aboard.
Speaker 1: Granted. Hey, what's up dude?
Speaker 3: That much? Kay?
Speaker 1: Is there behind the ones and twos? So can I
get some stuff off my chest?
Speaker 3: Sure?
Speaker 1: Oh no, you do. PSA's first Oh okay, Uh.
Speaker 3: January is just around the corner. This is the right
time to sign up for Patreon dot com Slash another
podcast network.
Speaker 1: January is right around the court of Kids.
Speaker 3: We've got a lot of stuff going there. We're gonna
be covering Traders, the USA version of that. Who are
some of the people that signed up for that.
Speaker 1: Uh Michelle Obama, Wow, yeah, what a get, big get.
Speaker 3: Maybe some of the Trump kids that'd be odd.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, that's the only political who's the
not the Jesse Jesse McCartney.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, Jesse Smallett.
Speaker 1: No no, no, don't be ridiculous idiot. Oh it's Jesse McCartney.
Speaker 3: Oh Jesse McCartney. Oh yeah, yeah. I liked him in
the early two thousand.
Speaker 1: He had great hair, he was really really talented, and
there's so many more people.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, we're we covering that and I'm pretty good
at playing that.
Speaker 1: Game, Snookie.
Speaker 3: Probably Yeah, that's probably gonna be at Patreon. Then we're
gonna be on the free feed that you're listening to. Now,
we'll be covering the Bachelorette. We're told by our co
host Ruby Wren that it's going to be an amazing season,
so we'll make it fun regardless if it's not. If
it is horrible, we'll just well, we'll ship all over it.
Speaker 1: Speaking of Ruby Wren, you know one of the things
that I needed to get off my chest. It's the
holiday season, right and Ruby and I are trying to
source a book for our uncle uh. And I got
on the phone. I started calling stores. I love to
call a store. It's so it's so exciting at this
time of year where you get to phone people and
chess see oh what when can I get? Do you
have this? And I just I just love calling a store.
It just it brought me so much joy today doing it.
And that's a reminder to to buy locally, buy from
purveyors if you can. Wow. Another thing that I have
to get off my chest. You know fruit Riot? Fruit Riot?
You know fruit right? You know fruit Riot?
Speaker 3: Is that a game or something else?
Speaker 1: It's that that the frozen grapes with the dust on them,
you know fruit Riot?
Speaker 3: What educate us?
Speaker 1: Well, it's this fruit Riot. It's frozen fruit with this
sour powder on it. Now they have mango, they have
They started with grapes, they've expanded into mango. Can I say,
way too sour? Okay, way too sour? And this is
taking the world by store and people are very into
fruit Riot. And I got my hands on Simon, I'm
here to say it's way too sour.
Speaker 3: Okay, So listeners to this podcast, no, my love of buzzballs,
get this. The other day I had purchased a manny
petty for my wife. Well, we had trouble finding a
parking spot. I said, oh, there's one in front of
that liquor store. The liquor store had one parking spot
allocated for that establishment. So I said, I'll pull into
the liquor store parking lot. You run into the nail
shop and doing whatever you gotta do, and I'll go
into the liquor store. I'll purchase something. I walk into
the store. The first thing I see behind one of
those refrigerated windows is a massive buzzball, I know, bigger
than someone's head.
Speaker 1: It was blue.
Speaker 3: It looked beautiful, I know. I turned to the nice gentleman,
definitely from another country. I said, what is that over there?
He said it's my top seller. I said really, He said,
I can't keep them on the shelf. I said really,
how much is it? He said forty bucks? Really? I go,
how many do you sell a day? He says like six? Yeah, Oh,
you gotta be kidding me. He goes, yeah, we just
got done selling the Halloween one. He goes a lot
of people didn't like that one because it tasted like
liquorice or something. I go, yeah, that doesn't work. He said,
people are going crazy for buzzballs. I started that revolution.
Speaker 1: Now, I wanted to ask you two questions. What was
the point of saying he was from a different country?
I mean, how is it pertinent to the story at all?
You know what I mean? I mean, it's just disgusting
that we're not growing as a show. But number two,
I was going to ask you if you in fact
think that you started the revolution, but you beat me
to it, it is your revolution.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 1: Kind of what Lenin dreamed of, you know, is what
you're doing to the buzzball.
Speaker 3: All my buildings in the center of the city that
I built will look like buzzballs.
Speaker 1: That'd be a freaking fun ass city. I gotta say, Caitlyn,
how you doing. I'm good? Okay, great? I just I
can't get over the fact that Amari and Hampton is healthy.
I mean, it's like, where did that come from? Oh?
Should we announce bad TV Con?
Speaker 3: We have a thing called bad TV Con. But you're
gonna have to be a Patreon member to see what you're.
Speaker 1: Gonna You're gonna have to be Well, should we just
say what it is?
Speaker 3: I don't want to because people are gonna get really jealous.
Let's just say, all right.
Speaker 1: We have a live stream this Friday, and it's gonna
be a big live stream, and we're gonna have some
of your We're gonna have some guests and you'll be
able to interact with them directly, and we'll post about
it on the socials and stuff like that.
Speaker 3: It's our end of year gift to the super fans
to be able to interact with some of your favorites
from below deck.
Speaker 1: It's bad TV con h or see rat con.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there you go. I wouldn't say that to their
face because they'd be offended by.
Speaker 1: It, but you should try it. It kind of goes
down easy, you know. The other day and we'll get
to the shows. At a brunch with friends and we
went to see Troup and they have the omelet. You
know the omelet.
Speaker 3: I thought you hated that place.
Speaker 1: No, I love that place. Oh you know the omelet there? No? Okay,
Well it's a French omelet with Bowson cheese, which is
the French of Velveto, right, and it's this delicious omelet.
My friend Connor gets it. I've saved his asshole on
my phone, so every time he calls me. It's this
assholes calling, right, So we're sitting there at breakfast. He
eats this omelet. I've had the omelet many times. The
waiter comes over and goes goes down easy. Huh six eggs.
Hold on a second. You can't let people know what
is in their food at these restaurants, especially Frinch restaurants.
You can't come over to somebody after they've eaten six
eggs in twelve minutes and say, did you know that
was six eggs? That's like crazy. Yeah, okay, I don't
know why I talked about that, But listen, we have
a lot of show to get into right now. Okay,
can you imagine that now?
Speaker 3: I was really hurt six I used to really enjoy
drinking monster any drinks, and then someone told me there's
some juice from Kyle's testicles in there. Yeah, I still
drink them.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's right. So let's get into it. Well,
the reason you shouldn't be drinking monsters because it's got
the mark of the fucking beast on it. Okay, it's
a satanic beverage. So I've been told by crazy women
in the South. You haven't seen these videos all right,
let's get into below deck. What an episode it was.
H We'll get into it during the preference sheet segment,
but just thoughts and nuts off the rope. I have
to say, and I very rarely say this about these vacations.
This vacation was actually a fucking awesome vacation. Thought parking
next to the America's Cup or whatever the hell it's called.
They're they're they're at least doing stuff cool. They're not
just having a white party and then going jet skiing
and then leaving. You know, this was an awesome vacation.
Love the kiss. He's trying to get the tip up.
That's fantastic. You go, girl. David is a I mean,
he's a mark. He's a complete mark. I don't think
they're gonna kiss you kidding me? Good show, ninety pots.
Speaker 3: M hm. I agree with a lot of your thoughts.
Speaker 1: Okay, are you filled with resent because.
Speaker 3: I stole my thoughts?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Is there any amount of discomfort?
Speaker 3: Not at all? Okay, no, no, no. I really enjoyed
this episode for a few reasons. One is I love it.
I always love when a sight might mix it up
with a charter guest. That's fun. But I agree with you, Dylan.
I think this is some tricky editing. I don't think
she'll cross the line, but it's fun to see if
she might. Joe the Hoe, it is so fun to
see him have second thoughts about that relationship with the
one day he's all in.
Speaker 4: So crazy that it came not six hours after he
got to have sex with her, that's right, unbelievably coincidental.
Speaker 3: He he's troubled, He don't, he doesn't. I think he
can be there for her as she mourns the loss
of bond, which I'm so happy we finally got to
learn how he tragically lost.
Speaker 1: These two because it's kind of a brutal bit we've
been doing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I apologize.
Speaker 1: I apologize.
Speaker 3: I'm just happy that it wasn't a steamroller malfunctioning. I
also am enjoying watching Max lose his mind. Oh yeah,
now him and Kathy have not agreed that they are
in fact in a relationship. Okay, him and Nate are
bumping heads. I don't think Max finishes this season. Really, yeah,
I think he gets fired.
Speaker 1: Calen, what about you?
Speaker 5: I agree?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 3: Let's see what else is there?
Speaker 1: Do you have any more? Color to add to that
or is it just I agree?
Speaker 3: Overall a fun episode. It's moving along. I think we're
halfway through the season. I'm gonna give it to I'm
gonna give it fourteen.
Speaker 1: Knots now because we're half way through the season. You
know a lot of fans have said.
Speaker 3: Fucking sucks, you know what. They always say that. But
you're watching it, aren't you.
Speaker 1: That's not true, Bill Maher Jesus Christ. Did you see
him in Ana Kasparian going at it?
Speaker 3: I don't know who that is, okay, but I did
hear him argue with Mel Robbins.
Speaker 1: Who is Mel Robins? You should or leave them or.
Speaker 3: Let just let them, let them, let them? And I
think he was like, well, what if someone's trying to
drive over you with their car? Great question, Bill, Well,
I mean you shouldn't let them.
Speaker 1: Bill's super good at those like literal holes in your argument.
It's like, well you're not.
Speaker 3: Clearly she said get out of the way, but later
on you should sue them. Well that's not letting.
Speaker 1: Them, all right. So we wake in Barcelona, Nathan scars Cathy.
She didn't have any idea that he was in there. Now,
contrary to the waiter telling my friend that there were
six eggs in that armelin. This is something you do.
You do have to divulge this, Okay, Yeah, you can't
just wake up underneath her. Okay, she'll be spooked. She'll
be absolutely spooked. You're not supposed to be in there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what are you supposed to do? Like a light tab?
Speaker 1: Like hey, yeah, I honestly light tap hey, calf calf
caff something like.
Speaker 3: I almost gave my This is like when I was
like nine or something, I was, my grandparents were staying
with us, like on vacation or something. They were sleeping
in like the guest bedroom, and I got scared at
night ycause I wasn't, you know. Yeah, And so I
go into creeping in their room and I start tapping
on my grandmother's shoulder. She woke up almost had a
goddamn heart attack.
Speaker 1: This is you know, and you shouldn't. Life does not
come with a manual, right, right, And if there was
a section about waking people up in their sleep, you know,
there would be a very very long and kind of
dynamic assortment of words to teach you how to how
to handle that best. And one of them would be
young women. Okay, old woman, definitely not. You don't know
what's gonna happen with them. All right.
Speaker 3: I've said a lot of dumb stuff in my life.
You want to hear the dumbest thing that I've ever
came out of my mouth about twelve years long, actually
fifteen years ago, I dumped my ex girlfriend upon dumb
broke up with her. I broke up with her. Yea,
that's the kind of way to say it. And this
came out of my mouth because she was like really
upset how I was doing it. I said, look, there
aren't books on that tell you how to break up
with somelf right, Yeah, I said that to her face. Well,
you're fourteen thousand books that tell you how to break out, but.
Speaker 1: You don't only serial killers and actually wear them. All right?
Speaker 3: Can I tell you what?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 3: Can I tell you what happens next?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Okay. So then Nate makes his way down to the
galley and Josh is there, and because everybody confides in
the chef for some reason, he's like the local like
therapy or something, and he goes to him. He goes hey, Josh,
and he's like, what's up? You look kind of bummed?
And he's like, kissy, she just wants to sleep with me.
She just wants to have sheep meaningless sex, and that's
all she wants. And the next second he's like, hey, Josh,
why are you? Are you stabbing yourself in the face
with a steak knife.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was amazing to see how calm Nate was
despite the horror that was unfolding before him, because you know,
somebody's stabbing themselves with a steak knife is a grizzly thing,
especially in the face. Hey Josh, why are you stabbing
yourself in the face with a steak knife? It's crazy.
So the other thing that happens, God, I thought you
were gonna say why are you why are you tying
a knot or something like that, but now you went
with why are you stabbing yourself in the face with the.
Speaker 3: Steak It's like an eminent night shammy man movie.
Speaker 1: V and Joe the Hope wake up the next morning.
It's very clear that they is it copulated? Is that
what it means?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think he referred.
Speaker 1: Can you look up copulated real quick orally copulated?
Speaker 3: That means she gave him a blowjob. I was in
I was a juror on a sexual harassment claim. Oral
copulation was used. I had to look it up and
meant blowjob. Uh uh, he says to someone later in
the episode. I think he told Max. He said, you know,
we took our relationship to the next level. I took
that as code war word for she let him have
sex without a condom. You know, that's uh.
Speaker 1: Why did you just say that?
Speaker 3: What it was just I know how guy talk mad,
but that's not a level.
Speaker 1: It's sex is the level. It's not with or without protection.
Speaker 3: Okay, did we skip over Kermit calling Scott?
Speaker 1: No? But really quickly I want I maybe, but can
we just stay on this for one second? Because they
talk about an expiration date, you know, and he's very
very aware that now that she has let him into
her garden, she's wondering if the expiration date on their
relationship that they discussed is still a foot. And you know,
I don't want to equate Joe to Donald Trump, but
you got to listen to what he's saying. Okay, Joe
very clearly says the expirations passed. He means it, He's done.
He's not talking about it's not a real thing anymore.
And he's so in love with you. No, he came
in you and you're expired.
Speaker 3: Now he said it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh wow, so you have to listen. Wow, all right,
let's talk about ash.
Speaker 3: So she calls, she calls Scott. She misses him in
those beautiful sunsets, you know, those views from that van
life and holding hands and they watch that sunset, both
sitting on five gallon buckets.
Speaker 1: Pat, I think they're doing better now.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I think she bought a house actually something
like that. I still bet they have five gallon buckets
somewhere in the yard, you.
Speaker 1: Know, crazy kids.
Speaker 3: Just to reflect back on the past, Yeah, okay, yeah,
I mean I bought a Hollywood bowl bench where the
cheap seats were just to my wife and I to
always like, look back when we were first together and
didn't have two nickels to rub together, had to be
in the cheap seats.
Speaker 1: Watching Chicago play.
Speaker 3: That's right, like way up in the back. And then
I showed you. I was so proud of it, and
you said, what the fuck is this?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember it was early on in our friendship
and you were really really excited about this bench that
you had bought from the Hollywood Bowl and you had
a couple of people over and you're showing us and
I was like, where the fuck are you gonna put that?
And you're like, what are you talking about? I was like,
it's just just giant fucking bench. What are you gonna
do with that? It's so stupid. You were not impressed,
And then some of your friends were like, that's crazy.
This person is openly shitting on this thing that he's
really excited about. Anyways, Nathan has a call with Gail
and decides no way, no more, no more not doing it.
Speaker 3: Well. She gives them her dream because she's working on
a boat. Oh yeah, she wants to sail around the
world and make baby sea rats.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like a lot of the times,
and we've spoken about this before, but sea rat dreams
are very attainable. And when you're dreaming. We've talked about
this before. You know, there's an argument to be made.
You don't want to dream unobtainable because it's not obtainable.
But sea rats really dream. You know, this would say
P two is the level of their dreams.
Speaker 3: There's a little rich man, poor man. Uh, they can
fulfill this dream they can have baby sea rats. They'll
be working on a boat together with two children, right right, right?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Okay, so Kathy and Max have a little chatty
can take used to be kind of like a vaginal sham? Wow?
Speaker 3: Can I say this about Max? And I hadn't picked
up on this. He definitely has anger issues, but the
I didn't realize how insecure he is, and this kind
of control is based on rooted in kind of his insecurity.
Speaker 1: Yeah, back when, like you know, when I think when
you're young, when you're a younger guy and you're starting
to like date girls and have relationships with women, you
can do this kind of clingy, insecure what are we
kind of thing? I mean, I don't know if you
ever did that?
Speaker 3: Yeah, when I was like fourteen, right.
Speaker 1: Exactly, seventeen eighteen, nineteen twenty, who's counting? Yeah, you know,
but he's older than that, so it's bad. So Patty,
where is he going wrong? If we were in how
to close ass for less money?
Speaker 3: You got a back off Jesus Christ? Right, since makes
the heart grow fonder? Right, you got to make her
think you don't care about her?
Speaker 1: What can I get you space?
Speaker 3: That's right?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: As a great man Tom likeas once said, and I
don't and he wasn't a great man massage his pig,
but some of his tactics at work, he would have
told the young Max, Uh, Max, shun, you treat him
like dirt. They stick like mud deer.
Speaker 1: Right right, right? And uh and Tom was wrong about
I would say ninety divorced four times, right, so you
don't necessarily have to treat them like mud. But definitely space,
definitely space, right, because you don't want to be the
equivalent of a kidnapper's garbage bag placed over their head.
And that's what you're being. That's so Asia farts in
the galley. I'm not sure if you had thoughts on that.
You're very kind of, you know, live your best life.
Speaker 3: It's fine.
Speaker 1: It shocking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Look, we've had a lot of people chime in
in this. Some of our listeners had said female listeners
had said, look, we got into this and early in
our marriage of you know, farting in front of each other,
and it like kind of spoiled the sexuality.
Speaker 1: Well, well, okay, we're not talking about Okay, Pat and
I are two very we have two very different marriages.
I won't lift my legs above my head and fart
in front of my wife. But you know, and I
don't want to say that we're our assholes are just
opened constantly around each other. That's disgusting, right, But if
you if one slips out, you know, one slips out,
it's not a big deal for us, of course, of course.
But what Asha's doing is farting in a communal space.
What Asha is doing is farting in a galley aka
communal space. So do you have any thoughts on that? Look?
Speaker 3: Is there judgment? Yes?
Speaker 1: Of course?
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, I'm not a fan.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right?
Speaker 3: I mean is she on the waterboarding you a little bit? No?
I mean is she on a tape? The lighter?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 3: You know, I would go to human resource.
Speaker 1: Can I ask when's it ever worked? Right? Because I've
tried it so many.
Speaker 3: Till my great uncle Jerry did it at Christmas Eve
one year. Really yeah, I mean it was a pretty
boring Christmas Eve party, but he just put that lighter
between his legs. It did work, And.
Speaker 1: I wonder if he I wonder what kind of internal
working you have to have and what kind of external
working do you have to have because I would imagine
the rectum has to be I mean wider circumference maybe,
although I don't know. Maybe it's like a bedett.
Speaker 3: It's the proximity. A lot of people don't want to
dare put that flame as close as his uncle, great
uncle Jerry.
Speaker 1: I think it's about bravery.
Speaker 3: It's about bravery because he did singe some of the
fabric close to his anal cavity.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I do think though, you have to have a
more kind of radioactive lower in testine though, And I
got to say for this show, I saw an instagram
reil today. This woman had her buttle removed and all
of her lower intestines and it just comes out of
her stomach. Wow. M it seems like kind of convenient
if I'm being honest.
Speaker 3: Like speaking of anus. As the sea rats cleaned this boat,
did you see Kissy her Kissie and Nate are joking
around and as he walks up the stairs, she jams
her index finger in his corn hole? Did you see that?
Did you see that?
Speaker 1: That's horsing around. That's fun, that's fun horsing.
Speaker 3: It's also called maritime law, in which there is no
human resource department.
Speaker 1: Does she do it to Joe.
Speaker 3: No, she did it to Nate.
Speaker 1: Nate, okay, yeah.
Speaker 3: The human resource department in maritime law is a door
with a sign on it that says, unless someone's head
is missing or someone's dead, get over it.
Speaker 1: Uh huh yeah. Or it's a door marked uh marked pirate.
Speaker 3: Uh what do you think if you were working at
Apple Corporation? What do you think you get a million
bucks for every finger jab up your fucking cornhole?
Speaker 1: Oh if it was, if it was a finger job
up a cornhole, I would take Apple four.
Speaker 3: A million dollars for each finger.
Speaker 1: No, ten million dollars for each finger. Oh yeah yeah,
oh yeah.
Speaker 3: Emotional damage Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: I'd be walking around like a duck in that place,
just trying to beckon people in Can.
Speaker 3: You imagine Mark Arrow goes up in there as your lawyer,
Oh yeah, fighting for why uh it has to be ten.
Speaker 1: He'd give me tips on how to get somebody to
fucking do it. I mean, that's a big paint egg
for that guy on.
Speaker 3: The New Dots.
Speaker 1: And sorry, Mark Arro goes if you're confused, and we'll
get back to the show in one second. He's the
lawyer that has defended if Hitler was alive, he would
have defended him. You know what, everyone deserves serves equal justice,
especially Michael Jackson and Chris Brown.
Speaker 3: And good and Kaylin.
Speaker 6: Right, Kalyn, Oh my god.
Speaker 3: I love Mark.
Speaker 1: Listen.
Speaker 3: Uh p, did he too?
Speaker 1: Yep, he's well rounded.
Speaker 3: By the way, there's tape of puff. Did he talking
some major shit about Mark?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Excuse me? Preference ship mat, the NFL players and the
Battle Wrapper are coming aboard this vessel. They're bringing a
Somalia with them. They're going to anchor next to the
America Cup. Like I said, this is an actual, awesome,
expensive vacation, fucking bringing a somalia with you and I
have this written down later, but I guess we can
just get to it now. The only thing I was
a little disappointed with was let's get the somalia in action,
because right now currently he's just a weird old white
guy with these really cool dudes.
Speaker 3: I'm so happy you said that. That skinny, little sickly guy,
he's stuck out like a sore piece, Like what the fuck,
get the fuck out here, out of here. At some
point when uh, I'm sorry, who is kissy hitting.
Speaker 1: On the Ultimate Fighter?
Speaker 3: His name's David. Yeah, okay, he's sitting next to David
making small pot talk, small case. He walks over and
skinny little sickly white deck smallpox jumps out of the
camera shot.
Speaker 1: He does he knows his place? Yeah, he does, he does,
And you got to give it to him. He got
right up. You know, he's not He's like, this is
not my place.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm out of here.
Speaker 1: That's important because there are a lot of small POxy
ganger and his white guys. They would just sit there
and kind of breathe out of their mouth. You know,
Nathan really has no chill. I gotta say. He has
to make a decision on the lead deckhand, and this
decision is going to impress Sandy. He's in this manic
kind of like hamster wheel with trying to impress her
and get out from the hole that he's dug. He
does select Joe, and Maximilian is pissed. He's really pissed.
He's so pissed in fact, that later on the episode
he will openly defy the orders of his boss. And
right now he goes to the nose of the button.
He screams, he's very upset.
Speaker 3: Yes, and he's nuts. Do you know any of these
football players?
Speaker 1: I was thinking about giving him a goog I didn't
have enough time.
Speaker 3: But their names, if their names didn't hit yet, then you.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean maybe you know couple, okay,
a couple of DB's or something. I don't know. Alright,
the guys arrive. Max is meditating his bloodlust for Nathan away,
and Kizzy is starting to flirt with the Elman fighter.
Speaker 3: Isn't it crazy how two people's eyes immediately catch each other?
Oh yeah, instant attraction and Ken he no, I was
gonna say if kiss he wasn't attracted to every single
person that she's ever met so far.
Speaker 1: Well not everybody. She's not attracted to Josh, that's true. Yeah,
but he's flirting back. He gets the ig. The correspondence
can now flow freely. Good job kids, you too crazy kids,
you know love to see it. Let's get to lunch.
We've got garlic, sweet potato, and an unnamed meat. I
believe it was a Tomahawk. I don't mind what Og did.
Give us a chiron. Now I lament that our watermark
blocks the chiron. But we are flying through some of
these meals and this to me is an unnamed meat. Again,
I'll say I believe it was a tomahawk, could have
been lamb. I don't know, though, not Okay for that,
I give it one pot?
Speaker 3: Can I do a meanwhile?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Meanwhile kiss? He's uh, I think she's in the crew
mass or something. Kermit's in There's like, yeah, hey, superior,
I think I want to have sex with a charter guest.
Yeah yeah, And Kermit's like, uh no, you can't do that,
keep your koochi in your pants.
Speaker 1: Well okay, and she didn't. Okay, so Asha goes. I'm
concerned because it was anybody else haha, but with you,
I'm concerned because you might actually do this. Okay. Uh.
Speaker 3: The America's Cup awesome.
Speaker 1: Asia goes into and I did a little digging. I
called my European brother in law and I was like,
what's this called? Because he's super into this, right I remember,
I think it was last year he were over at
the in laws and he was like, we got to
watch this, and I was like, what the fuck. But
it's still cool. I don't want to watch sailing. It's
it's so it's like I know they're going fast, but
it looks really slow. Anyways, I'm not that into it,
but I called him, I go, what's this thing? And
he goes, it's the America's Cup. It was in Barcelona
last year. I was like, okay, so this is it,
and he said, because Asian's going on about how New
Zealand's really good at it and the country loves it.
New Zealand is so good that they keep winning this thing,
but whoever wins it gets to host the event. Last
year New Zealand won it, or the time before this
they won it, but because they'd won it the year
before the time before they broadcasted New Zealand, nobody watched
because it's in fucking New Zealand whatever God's forsaken time.
So they negotiated, gave it to Barcelona, and that's why
we have the America's Cup here with the Sea Rats
parked right next to it.
Speaker 3: And then America won this year.
Speaker 1: Did America win?
Speaker 3: I think so.
Speaker 1: I don't know why it's called the America's.
Speaker 3: Cup, huh.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: I started taking an interest in it when the Today
Show before I Go to School, Katie Couric and Matt
Lauer back in the day, they cover it, really really.
Speaker 1: Covered Katie sit next to that guy for that long.
She's such a class act and he's such a skeezy rat.
Speaker 3: Different time cale.
Speaker 1: What have we got on the America's Cup? All right?
So Maximilian doesn't want to let Nathan relinquish and sour
the legacy that he's going to pass down to his grandchildren,
that being lead deckhand. So he's starting to get really
really maybe he'll kill me, yeah, I mean he's getting
hammed up. So Kizzy heads up to talk to the
hot boys and locks in dinner in two hours seven ish.
That is not enough time to cook what he's cooking.
Speaker 3: It's just not now. I totally get that. But when
Kermit does it the next day, she says, seven forty
five guys like it seemed like she did the same thing.
Speaker 1: Josh. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe Josh is mad that
he's not snogging, right, maybe he's not snogging. I'm just saying,
Klin anything on the America Because Cup.
Speaker 5: The twenty twenty four winner was Emirates Team New Zealand.
Speaker 1: And then who was the year? Who was the time
before that?
Speaker 3: Now, but this could happen in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 5: She looked at it says there was no Main America's
Cup sadly been in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1: No, it's it's like every four years or something.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, interesting.
Speaker 1: Anyways, it's really cool that they got to park alongside
of this, and sad that one of the boats was
just really bad. Let's get to a sit down with
Captain Sandy. Now, Vi sits down with her and tells
Captain Sandy about Bond. Shallow water shaller. Let me say it.
I'm gonna say it, shallow water blackout.
Speaker 3: Would you like to know what that is?
Speaker 1: I know what it is. It's okay.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, it's when a drug deal goes wrong.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, we have the exit now that
we can take.
Speaker 3: All right, okay, a lot of inappropriate jokes. We will
no longer do that, because now that we know, it's
the most and death of free divers. Yes, in which
you hold your breath so long you hyperventilate, and it
tricks your body into thinking that you don't need to
breathe and you drown.
Speaker 1: Really really sad. No, no, don't play taps, my god,
you sick fuck, but we should play taps for Bond.
He seemed like a good guy. Oh yeah, V seems
like a real doing what he loved, doing what he loved.
I think V and Bonn had a really beautiful thing.
I mean, much better than V and Joe. The hell
I mean, Joe with the hoe is nowhere near bond.
And that's what's so sick about life, right, Sometimes the
good ones go.
Speaker 3: Yes, you know, you know, think about it, dying that
way or living to be sixty five, a fucking drunk,
living in a studio city, depressed, no friends. All you
did your whole life was hurt people, dead end job
that you hated.
Speaker 1: You're just sitting there looking hot.
Speaker 3: You just had sex with your girlfriend and you went
out and said, hey, I'm going to go down and like,
I don't know, throw a spear through some fish that
we'll make some dinner later. Yeah, you don't make it
home because you you know, you passed on to the
other side.
Speaker 1: It's so sad or joyous. You know, it's interesting you
say that I watched train dreams. You know train dreams. Now, Calen,
you heard a train dreams. Not the answers so quickly
like he's upset. You know what, We'll just move on.
Speaker 3: Hey, why don't we reading that all right? Fucking hey,
before you.
Speaker 1: Can you work on that please? It really throws hey.
Speaker 3: I want to say that is inappropriately. This is a
podcast where we're supposed to make fun of everything. I
apologize if anybody was offended by anything that we did
the last nine weeks. We're trying to make light of everything.
At last. Note, did you see how fast Kizzy got
the hell out of there When v started telling this
story to Sandy, she jumped and stepped overheard.
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Speaker 3: I love them now Meanwhile, Josh is working his booty
off in that galley. I want to say this about that.
As much as these chefs always say how stressed out
they are, and don't get me wrong, they are, I
want to say they're in their happy zone, you know,
when someone's working especially say all that again, why I
tuned out?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: Sorry right now?
Speaker 1: No? No?
Speaker 3: Oh okay, Well I was saying, like, when chefs are
in their zone, you know, it's there's something beautiful about
someone being in their zone.
Speaker 1: Oh, you're talking about a flow state.
Speaker 3: A flow state, you're stressed out, but you're doing something right.
And my buddy Glenn, he's like, I don't know. I
think he got took had a minor in collagen evolution.
He always like breaks things down into evolution a minor
and evolution like studies like why humans do what they do.
And he would say, what Josh is doing in this
kitchen is He's like, it goes back to like when
we were hunters and gatherers and a dude would go
out to gather food for the tripe. But it could
have been a chick too. We all had like hair
on a tits back. It was the chicks. We all
had hair.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and you go out and like like when you
like rolled that boulder off the cliff and it like
crushed a goat's head and you brought it back and
everyone was happy they could eat like you had pride.
Speaker 3: That brought you happy.
Speaker 1: Because people think hunter gathering, they think berries and nuts. No,
a big part of hunter gathering was rolling boulders on
goats heads.
Speaker 3: That's how you.
Speaker 1: Would gather that meat. That's right, and so it with
with massive hairy tits.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So bring it back to Josh, he's doing a
great job.
Speaker 1: All right, let's get to well really quickly. I want
to go back to this chat with Sandy because you know,
V tells her about Bond and says, the body keeps
the score. And I'm starting to get kind of physical
symptoms of the emotional distress. And Sandy says, like the
sea rat driver she is. You know, that's nice, but
we're gonna have to learn to process that, right. But
she does give her a break later on this afternoon.
I thought I thought Sandy was gonna be much more.
Speaker 3: I dated a girl her father was murdered every year
right around that time.
Speaker 1: She exactly like the yeah makes sense. Yeah, yep, psychic ripples.
Let's get to dinner. Yeah, which is a mushroom and
truffle tortellini with Queen King crab and caviar. We've got
braised meat and vegetables. A terrific middle of the road dinner. Wow. Yeah,
high praise, high praise, high praise. Hit him with treffle,
hit him with caviar, hit him with it was interesting
that we went with, uh, a collective bucket of braised meat. Well,
that's interesting, that's not okay? Twenty five pots. Kizzie in
a huge Suspects type twist fancies being a wag.
Speaker 3: Yes, are you familiar with what that is?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Wife of a wife of a gamer? What is it? Wife?
Speaker 3: Or girlfriend of an athlete?
Speaker 1: What does wags stand for? What's the g? Girlfriend?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: What? No? It can't be a girlfriend.
Speaker 3: We have a producer over here, I believe because there
was a series on VH.
Speaker 1: One wife and or a girlfriend? Is that what it means? O? Kay?
What's a wag? Give me just give him a second. Now,
let's be quiet while he looks this up.
Speaker 5: Okay, wives and girlfriends?
Speaker 1: Oh wow, okay, wives and girlfriends? That very specific?
Speaker 3: Can I say this maybe we'll do a poll for
our female life.
Speaker 1: Can you be a person that is a wife and
a girlfriend.
Speaker 3: I am the perfect husband for women that like Bravo.
I know all the shows I sit down and just
hang out.
Speaker 1: You're a gay man. You don't even want to have sex? Yes,
I do, well, not really, it's exhausting.
Speaker 3: Once a month is great, right, that's how much they exactly.
Speaker 1: That's why I am agreeing you're perfect. David and the
Somalia sit down with Kizzie and this is where we said.
The Somalia gets right up. Now Kizzie and David decide
that they're going to try to bang later or something.
Speaker 3: Well, they have to do a little code talk here. Yeah,
they don't need to say it directly.
Speaker 1: That's code right. Yeah, it's good. Next morning, next morning.
David text sir, good morning. Do not do this.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, no, I like this. This is
a do you really? Oh yeah yeah, from one player
to another, much respect good move. These are the small
details that most dudes don't pick up on. A way
to get to a woman's heart is small gestures like this.
I'd always do this when I'd start meeting a girl.
Small gestures good morning, hope you have a great day.
Always guaranteed me at least third.
Speaker 1: Base, right, But in this situation, it's more of a hello.
Remember we're supposed to have sex later, and so are
you saying that's what it always Well.
Speaker 3: That was the subtext of good morning. You don't want
to ever say I can't wait to fingerbang you later.
Speaker 1: Do me a favor, and not because you say that
word all the time, and it's such a fucking overt word,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: I'll consider it.
Speaker 1: Thank you smoked far too much pot. I mean, it's ridiculous.
You guys got to cut me off at a certain point.
So pros before Bros. Sandy is seeing Joe bloom into
a lead deckhand right before our eyes. The action he
took to convince her of that growth, asking one of
the gremlins what to do. Wow, It's like, what how
does he get lead deckhand? He has no idea how
to drop a fucking anchor?
Speaker 3: Mind blown? All right, I want to say this, do
you heard it here? First? Don't be shocked if he
is bosin next season.
Speaker 1: Joe the Hoe, Joe the Hoe.
Speaker 3: I think we've seen the last of Nate. He's great TV.
He's a Joe the Hoe. He's a little softer than
our past postins.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Joe the Hoe's not boson material to me.
Maybe though he'd be a good boson. He'd bang everyone
in the interior. That's what I'm saying, all right, So
we go sailing. One of the guys throws up. Does
not go well. This whole thing does not go.
Speaker 3: Well, and it takes up exactly about twenty eight seconds.
Speaker 1: Right exactly. So Max is sent over in the tender
to drive them over. They do not want to sail back. Now,
there are two problems with Max's approach. One, he just
drives back and he doesn't tell them, and they need
to get stuff ready. Luckily, Asha is a very talented
chiefs do so she catches the mistake. Number two is
he just lets the guest drive again, and he's been
told not to do that in no uncertain terms.
Speaker 3: A helpful little Patty or Battie informed us, because they
work in this industry, it is very illegal to even
let a charter guest touch the steering.
Speaker 1: Right, So pretty nut stuff.
Speaker 3: But mac Max did this intentionally as an act of defiance.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he gets back and that's what I've written down.
Maximilian is defiant, he lies defiantly, and Nathan catches him
on it. But first we've got to get to well, yeah,
I guess is this where Nathan approaches.
Speaker 3: There, we jump to the galley where Kermit is noticing
that Josh is kind of leaning on the family style.
Speaker 1: Tongs are coming out a little too much.
Speaker 3: Now, I would argue, I remember there was an eight
course meal at least a few charters back, but I say,
it's a new family style to every new charter.
Speaker 1: Well, this is what I got to say to Asia,
and I understand that Asia comes from the world and
a lot of people that go on these It's a
little bit like Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills is not representative
of class or what's actually good. It's just represent Beverly Hills.
Speaker 3: I watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Speaker 1: Right, So Kathy Hilton is just eating potatoes all the
time with caviar on top of them, sucking it up
like something from Starship Troopers or something.
Speaker 3: And then she yells at DJ's that they're gay when
they don't play their favorite Michael Jackson song.
Speaker 1: Well, not that she actually uses a slur, but but well, essentially, yeah,
that's what she said. So anyways, family style is all
the rage and it's and it's done. You know, you
go to the Dunsmore out here in Eagle Rock, one
of the hottest restaurants, they'll drop a family style corn
bread right in front of you. You know, this can
be done very very well. But Asha is stuck in
the chuge land of yachting. With that being said, you
cannot just dump a bowl of braised beef out on
the table. That's not okay. What is this a fucking penitentiary? What?
That's crazy? All right? So Sandy sends v down because
she's a little sick, and Joe, despite the thick stew
that he's in now I was a little confused by this.
I thought he was going to march forward and continue
to have sex with her. But no, you're saying the
expiration date has hatched.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'll break it down. Okay, all right, Sandy uh
telling you to go down and get some breasts. Joe
the Hoe oversees this and he's triggered by this, and
he starts questioning, is is he the right guy.
Speaker 1: For this? Now?
Speaker 3: Ten minutes ago, he said he was all the way
in right. He must have been referring to his coum
cannon because he's yeah see see.
Speaker 1: And then twenty four hours before the cumb canon actually
went off, he said, I want you to meet my parents.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm like right guy for this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, let's get to payea, one
of my favorite foods. We can obviously see that as
Josh begins when the cooking, the pan is way too hot,
and we know that we know that not the rice
but the foundational elements that the rice will sit atop. Now,
we immediately know that this can't reach a ten right
off rip.
Speaker 3: You know what. He mentioned this, and you'd mentioned this before.
As far as the culinary arts, there is no It's
almost like a snowflake. There's no one that is the
same as the one before it.
Speaker 1: Right, and Paea is a perfect example of that. It's
its own entity, right, It does what it wants, and
that's why people can cook it for decades and decades
and decades. It's always a trial, right, But you can't
start with a pan way too hot, ripping hot like this. Okay,
we're automatically at a nine now it does look like
a delicious piea though I will say it's loaded with shrimp, lobster, mussels, chicken.
A salad of capres and cucumber is sat beside it.
Also a little klamam no thank you, no, thank you
with this caprazy cucumber shit and this fucking goddamn fried kalamar.
I mean, what what what? What? Are we a fucking
bowling alley in the bronx or something like? What fuck
is this? Okay? I don't know why I said that,
but I do think it didn't belong. Uh fifty seven pots?
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: Now, Kizzie and David chat on the side of the boat.
She kind of does the thing where her hands are
behind her back and she's, you know, she's you know, flirting,
and he's flirting.
Speaker 3: Too, just like Jack and Rose.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like Jack and Rose. Nothing is going to happen.
I agree, And that's the end of the show. Caitlin,
how do you think we did?
Speaker 5: Fantastic?
Speaker 1: Okay? Great, get in the comments, let us know how
you think we did. What are your uh what the fuck?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Sorry, he's just folded his paper with his teeth.
Speaker 3: Oh and don't forget you know what throw your hat
into Patreon. You know there's something special. Gub it up.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, Sea rat Con is this Friday. Yeah, so
go to patreon dot com slash aka deep Waters sign
up for that. That's gonna be the twelve dollars tier.
And yeah, traders to come. And yeah, Beverly Hill started,
uh last week or this week. So a lots of fun,
a lot of fun stuff. All right, we love you
very much. I'm dying, say by Pat's say good bye, lad,