Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell.
Speaker 2: I'm Chris and I died recently and my eternal punt.
Speaker 3: Yeah, does spend the rest of his life d the
podcast in Hell. I'm your co host Clayton Brothers staying
in secretary war.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Wow, we have to interview everyone in Hell.
Speaker 3: Oh what was that for, Chris? We're getting hard today,
We're getting hard. This is toughen you up?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 4: Are you excited? You ready? No? Okay, Well you're gonna.
Speaker 3: Have to be or else I'm gonna hit you three
more times, maybe four more if you test me.
Speaker 4: Chris. It's it's it's go time, baby, It's go time.
All right.
Speaker 1: Where are we going?
Speaker 3: Well, well, we're gonna stay right here, okay and do
an interview.
Speaker 4: But it's go time though.
Speaker 3: Still, okay, put your hands up, all right, they're up,
do it?
Speaker 4: Do it like?
Speaker 2: I just don't care.
Speaker 3: No, you can put him to back down. I know
how to express excitement anymore. I'm just really generated today.
So yeah, So what exactly though, are you so pumped for? Well, Chris,
you know this because you know we've been in for
a while. But we've got a Wargans Heaven coming up
very soon. I gotta say, I'm super excited about it. Yes,
recruitment is down. Yes, the majority of Hell doesn't believe
that we're gonna be able to win. Yes, we're facing
a massive, massive obesity.
Speaker 4: Problem here in Hell, and our troops are not in shape.
Speaker 3: But there's there's a little bit of a there's a
little bit of a silver lining, Chris. I think I
think we got a great solution to get our troops
into a in a great shape. What's that, well, I
I've been bringing on Hell's number one personal trainer to
come in.
Speaker 4: We're gonna do just a quick.
Speaker 3: Little chat and then after that we're gonna be going
and whipping the soldiers into shape. We're gonna be it's
not gonna be boot camp. It's gonna be suit camp
because of all the burning, all the fire that we're
gonna be.
Speaker 2: Uh soup camp, no suit suit?
Speaker 4: Oh yes, suit suit camp.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Shoot, and then like like a full body suit
as it opposed to like soot soot soot camp. Yes,
like the residue that fire leaves.
Speaker 3: Anyways, we got Hell's number one personal chainer check fires.
Speaker 4: Come on in chat, right.
Speaker 1: All right? What's up savages? Who's ready to get that
pump ready.
Speaker 3: Dude, you just blew through there's a there's a door
right there, and you just blew through a wall.
Speaker 2: That was a man.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling jack today.
Speaker 2: Yo.
Speaker 1: I'm looking real vascular. I ain't drake water in like
four days.
Speaker 3: Man, that's super unhealthy. That's awesome. You look super vainy.
He looks like living Paenis. Look at him, Chris.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to I want to be turgid. I
want to be hard. That's just the way you gotta
be when you really want to look your best. And yeah,
I just really wanted to look real vascular, right so
that I could be really good with y'all on camera.
Speaker 2: Yeah, uh uh.
Speaker 4: This is an audio only pod podcast.
Speaker 1: Yes, say that again.
Speaker 3: We're only audio, no no cameras. No one can see
you except for me and Chris.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like I look, but I'm trying to look
vascular for it.
Speaker 2: You do look vascular. You know what, we'll have a
we'll take a picture right now. It's just a selfie.
Speaker 4: Jeeze, jeez.
Speaker 2: We'll post that on our social media at morning from
house with people.
Speaker 1: Okay, God, I'm gonna drink some water. I'm okay.
Speaker 4: Oh well, that's it. Oh god, he brought he brought
a lot of water with him.
Speaker 3: That's normally I see those like gallons of waters around
the gym. But this guy's got like a full like
cooler tanks worth.
Speaker 2: Is it normal for the that to be that like
spongy absorption sound as you drink water, like pour it
on yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm I A'm gonna lie. I needed that water.
I need that water.
Speaker 2: It's water is important.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but anyway, we need to feel that pump right.
Speaker 4: Hell yeah, bro, hell yeah? What he got for us?
Speaker 2: You're carrying a bunch of other little like jars or something.
Speaker 4: What are those?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, we're gonna dry scoop our pre work out
right now, right now, before we get started doing anything,
before we don't, before we even talk. I want you
to take this.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, I take it. I just take a
scoop and I just put it right in my mouth.
Speaker 4: No water, then, what is it?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, what's in this? Yeah, it's all natural.
You don't need to worry about it. It's all natural.
Here you here, take take two or three. You look
like you need a man, you know, okay, cheers? Oh no,
you got to inhale it you got in here? Take
some more.
Speaker 2: There's a cinnamon. Do we actually stored each individual line?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I feel that, I feeling that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I cut it with a little bit of cinnamon, right,
just because it's got so much all natural stuff in
it to like help.
Speaker 4: Stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: All natural, man. That's the way I do it. That's
the way Chad fires does it. This fires with a pH?
Speaker 2: Wait?
Speaker 1: Sorry what Chad fires with a pH?
Speaker 3: How do you?
Speaker 4: How do you spell that?
Speaker 3: Then?
Speaker 1: Well, it's like I was trying to be Chad fire.
It's like a marketing thing. And so Chad fires like
f I r e uh huh, because you know it's
p it's p h I R E. Yeah. But then
like fires because it's hell. So like there's a lot
of people doing that like marketing. So then I changed
it to like a Y, but then that was already
taken two, and so then I changed it to a
p h I because that was like closer to fire.
That was anyway, it's p h y r E S fire.
Speaker 3: That's that's one letter away from being pires, which is
which is pretty close fire related.
Speaker 1: It's just like a fire synergy thing, man, That's what
I got from marketing.
Speaker 4: Right, That's that's pretty cool. That's that's a cool name. Bro.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks, yeah, thanks. I'm feeling pretty jacked today. Are
y'all feeling jacked? Uh?
Speaker 4: I mean my nose is feeling really jacked up.
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, I'm gonna be hawking loogies that are
gonna be like alien blood. It's gonna like just vibrant
green and melt through cement.
Speaker 1: Your alien Blood's a real good natural supplement. Man.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, no, So Chad holy chatterish I call you
mister Chad Fire is every singlet fires I've never worked
out before.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm shocked. I can't tell them.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, what would you suggest to start?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So right now I want you to yeah, go
ahead and drop and give me.
Speaker 2: Fifty okay, all right, like push ups?
Speaker 1: No, no dollars. I charged by the hour. That's what
I'm getting paid for this.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't I'm on the clock. I'm on the clock.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, don't uh ji, I got coupons.
Speaker 4: I got coupons from Chili's. I don't. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Do you like blooming onions? Yeah, I'm sorry Austin blossoms.
Speaker 1: I'll do some of those on my cheat day probably,
but yeah, you know what, we'll make it work. We'll
figure it out afterwards, right, okay, all right, yeah, we
get to start first. Key, do you know you don't
know anything about working out? I know, I don't like it, Okay, okay.
Speaker 4: I mean I know I know about working out. Hit
the gym constantly. I love the gym.
Speaker 1: Oh all right, which, what's your favorite workout?
Speaker 4: Oh? Sure, let me see.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 3: I really love doing bicep curls, especially in the squad rack.
Speaker 4: That's my favorite.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, yeah, check yourself out in the mirror while
you do it.
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, yeah you're talking about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the way to get that pump man. That's
how you get that pump Let's see. So we should
probably start to make sure that you know how to
do your workout without hurting yourself real bad. And the
really important thing, Chris, do you have like a marketing
thing for your last name that you need me to
say for me?
Speaker 4: I mean it's Chris. Yeah, I don't know what.
Speaker 2: You do with that, Chris.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna be honest, that one's kind of lame.
But you can keep calling me Chad fires. The really
important thing, Chris is to lift with your back, not
with your legs.
Speaker 2: Okay, with your back, yeah.
Speaker 1: Always with your back. The back is like the longest
part of your body. H So, like you got to
use the long muscle right to Really it's it's physics, okay,
the long handle on the lever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like pendulums.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's just physics, like pendulums. So those like
little ball ball things that click on like clayton. I
think your brother has one on his desk, right, a
little ball.
Speaker 2: Clay balls that just bounce back and forth.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, here, why don't you start. I'm
gonna give you a weight. Okay, yeah, I'm gonna hand
it to you right now. Are you ready?
Speaker 2: You just hand me it's it looks heavy, it looks
pretty light, Chris.
Speaker 4: I think you got it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's gonna be I think it's gonna
be fine. Right, but I want you to tense your
back as hard as you can while you get ready
for me to throw it at you.
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, and go oh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, feel that pump, feel that pump.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Oh, Chris, you're doing great.
Speaker 1: I can Oh, you look like you look like you're
feeling the pump.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's bad, it's it's it supposed to have been.
Speaker 4: Back.
Speaker 2: Is a pendulum supposed to swing? I guess it goes swings, both.
Speaker 1: Swings, both ways. Just whichever way your back's going, you
just roll with it, man.
Speaker 3: Shot fires. What's that cracking noise that I'm hearing? Is
that a good sound? Is that the sound of muscles growing?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the sound of muscles growing. It's the sound
of tension leaving his body, which is always really good.
Right to get real big and real swoll, real fast. Right,
But yeah, it's real good that he's starting with kind
of a heavy weight. I always say it's best to
start with the heaviest weight possible so you can get
the most gains. Right.
Speaker 2: What about warm ups? I've heard about warm ups?
Speaker 4: Is that not a thing?
Speaker 1: Oh no, man, warm ups are for sissies. We don't
do warm ups here, not in hell, no.
Speaker 4: Way, okay, no no warm.
Speaker 1: Up, no no, no. People. There are people out there
that talk about like oiling the joints and like mobility
and like longevity for your body. Right, but this is
just like we're here forever. Man, we don't need to
worry about longevity.
Speaker 4: Got it.
Speaker 3: Chris is really red in the face. He's looking very
vascular in his neck.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's real good. Yeah, he's already feeling that pump.
I can see it.
Speaker 2: Could you just get that off of my neck?
Speaker 1: Here, holds your breath. It's really important not to breathe.
Speaker 4: No breathing, got it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it helps fill the lungs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but the metal bars filling my it's filling my lugs.
Could you get that off?
Speaker 1: Yeah? No, spotters, no, spotters, not not my gym, not
in Chadfire's gym.
Speaker 4: What about safety clothes? Do we use those?
Speaker 1: No? No, no, you just got to keep that thing
and wherever the weights go is where they go. Man.
Speaker 4: Oh cool.
Speaker 3: So the fear of death should be motivating you to
to lift heavier.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, you want to keep that thing up.
Breath held back tents.
Speaker 2: Oh oh my god?
Speaker 1: What Chad?
Speaker 4: Is that normal? He's like he's like ninety degrees, but
like the other way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's see, that's why we don't stretch. Look, he's
getting it right now, he's getting right now. Hey, Chris,
you feel that burn, man?
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it feels it really burns a lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's you know why. It's because with Chad Fires,
you feel the burn. You know what I'm saying. You
know what I'm saying, it's sick.
Speaker 3: I would love to have a slogan, a cool catchphrase
that's rad, that's rad Chad Fires.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got There's there's a lot more where that
came from.
Speaker 4: Oh hell yeah, I can't wait to eat to hear those.
Speaker 3: So so you know what other the workouts do you
have for us? You know, I mean this one clearly
big winner with Chris.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've heard personally.
Speaker 3: I mean my approach to exercise is the more dangerous
the lift is, the more effective it is.
Speaker 4: I mean, what are your thoughts on that, Chad?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, we want to like do like there's
a reason I like to call him dead lifts, Right,
So I'm going to really make sure and like really
mess you up with them. Right, So you got to
start with those. You gotta get real heavy, real fast,
anything where you're like throwing the weight around over your head, right,
anything like that, getting that weight up as high as possible.
I think that's gonna be real good for you, you know.
And then like you know, if we really want we
can start like messing with some like body parts and
like appendages and stuff if we really want to like
crank that pump.
Speaker 3: So is it true that, like when I'm in the gym,
you know, doing a dead lift, or like, oh my
favorite is when I have those medicine balls and I'm
slamming them around the louder I am.
Speaker 4: The more muscles I get. Is that true?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because like are like ear canal and like the
auditory like sensaty and like y'all said, it's an audio podcast, right,
so it's perfect. So like the auditory sensations and like
the noise you're making directly corresponds with like what the
muscles are doing. Right. Like I always say with my
experience is that muscles they just like absorb like everything.
Speaker 2: Uh huh oh, so like muscles absorb sound.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they absorb, man, they absorb.
Speaker 4: So, I mean, what's your approach to diet, chadfires.
Speaker 1: Oh oh oh natural? Oh natural all the way, baby,
that's what I do. Oh yeah, that's that's really gonna
help you help your body. And like here in Hell,
we got like all kinds of natural stuff like dirt
or like aluminum. We've got nickel, brimstone sulf you'r all
that stuff. That natural diet is really the thing that's
gonna like keep your body clean and juicy.
Speaker 4: So lots of minerals.
Speaker 2: It sounds like and metal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We we just go simple, man, we
just go super simple.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's like a baking foot. Just okay, I'll just eat.
Speaker 1: It up up, stick it in that mouth, feel that pump, chad.
Speaker 4: This is really kind of hurt in my mouth. But
I see that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, perfect teeth. How do you keep those things in
such great condition?
Speaker 1: Oh? Well, these these aren't my real teeth.
Speaker 3: Man.
Speaker 1: I ruined my teeth a long time ago because I
was only eating hard stuff because that's what you gotta
do if you want to get hard.
Speaker 2: Oh so where are your real teeth at?
Speaker 1: Yeah? This is like a brimstone grit right here.
Speaker 2: Uh huhh.
Speaker 1: And now it kept my gums.
Speaker 4: Oh I see it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean those teeth do look hard. What happened
to your real teeth?
Speaker 1: Oh right, I hate them? You ate your teeth? Yeah,
they're hard, and you eat hard things to get hard.
Speaker 3: I guess I guess they weren't hard enough to hold
up against your diet but suspect though.
Speaker 2: Wow, yeah, could I respectfully request that you put your
teeth back in just because it's you know, I just
have a I'm still trying to harden up my stomach
and I don't want.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, man, they are back again. There's that shiny smile.
Speaker 1: Feeling, that feeling, that pump. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: So I mean, you know, is there anything else that
you recommend diet wise, like something that I can stick into.
Speaker 4: My body to just get me going?
Speaker 3: You know, we we dry scooped the pre workout before,
but any other like chip tricks and tips like that.
Speaker 1: No soft foods, that's the big thing, because you want
to only eat hard things to make your body hard, right,
you want to make your body like too mescent and
turgid and swollen. So nothing soft, nothing soft, only hard things, right,
red meat all day. Creatine Okay, yeah, you gotta do
the creatine steroids. Man, steroids go right to the top
of the list. Lots of steroids.
Speaker 4: What does creatine do again?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know it's like it it kind of like
creates the uh, the teen in your muscles.
Speaker 3: Oh so it creates is the root word of creatine.
Speaker 1: I see, I see, yeah, yeah, and it's really it's
gonna help you. It's gonna help you feel that like
chad fires burn man creatine.
Speaker 3: So like with the steaks, you said red meat and stuff,
So like, how do we cook that?
Speaker 4: What do we what do we make that with?
Speaker 1: You probably want to throw that on fire and eat
that when it's like as hard as charcoal.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, so overcook it?
Speaker 1: Okay, interesting, Yeah, you got to cook all the nutrients.
Speaker 4: In so that it's just like hard like coal. So
it's hard for my body.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's hard for your body. Another thing that
I that I recommend is intermittence fasting, right, inner intermittence fasting?
Speaker 4: What is that?
Speaker 1: Sorry, you used a different word. What was that word?
Speaker 2: Intermittent like fasting and then eating and then fast eating.
Is that what you mean?
Speaker 4: Like on and off, off and on?
Speaker 1: No, I ain't heard that one. No, intermittence, right is
the way to do it, because then with your intermittence,
when it's cold outside, you want to use your intermittence
to feel warm and keep the muscles insulated.
Speaker 2: So is that I'm just gonna jump logic here, work
out in the cold without gloves?
Speaker 1: Yeah, sort of. I mean we can't really do that
because it's more like hell down right. But you it's
like a brain thing.
Speaker 3: Huh.
Speaker 2: So think about my hands being cold and wearing intermittence
and I do that fast.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I have a I'm kind of confused here.
You say that you want only hard things for your body.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you want like the hardest foods, and you want
like like nickel and aluminum in your body.
Speaker 4: But like I always see these big body.
Speaker 3: Builders and they're rubbing like lube and grease all over
themselves to make the missiles like all shiny. All right,
where does that come into play?
Speaker 4: What do we do with those?
Speaker 1: Yeah? That's another way, like, because when your muscles feel
like they look good, then your muscles are gonna feel
like the way that you want them to look. Does
that make sense? That's like one of them that's like
one of them chad fires things. Man, that's one of
them chad fires like nuggets a wisdom. Okay, yes, So
you just rub it all over and then your muscles
start feeling shiny, right, and then they start feeling like
they look good, and then they start thinking like I'm
gonna be bigger now because I feel like I look
really good and or.
Speaker 3: Like maybe they're like shiny like metal, which is hard.
Speaker 2: There you are hard?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what, that's better. I'm gonna write that
one down. I'm gonna write that one down. Yeah, that
one's better. Yeah, that's gonna be a new Chad Fires thing.
Speaker 4: Sweet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you know what I always say, right, yeah,
you feel the burn? There is also if you want
to be a trailblazer, you gotta be Chad Fires.
Speaker 4: Whoa trailblazer Fire? Yeah that's so cool.
Speaker 1: So everything I do, right, it's like original, it's new. Right,
It's the thing that's gonna like make your body feel
that pump.
Speaker 2: Just like your name, Chad Fires. How there were so
many other people named fire that you had to come
up with a completely original way to spell it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I had to be a trailblazer to get fires
in a way that wasn't like the other four people
that had it.
Speaker 2: God.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So Chad Fires.
Speaker 3: We've got like a war coming up very shortly, and
our troops are not in good shape. We're pretty far
behind on the physical fitness aspect of things. How can
I get our troops into shape like pronto, super fast?
Speaker 2: Yeah, assuming we don't have enough time to lift with
our back and eat aluminum.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay. First thing is gonna be steroids, probably lots
of steroids, okay, gotcha. Yeah yeah, just like as many
as many like orifices as you can get the steroids.
That's what we're gonna put them. Okay, okay, So like
pill form and needle, yeah, just like in like whatever
hole you can get them in. Right, we can do
like suppository steroids, right, we can find some for like
the nose canal or like the ear canal. Right, wherever
we can fit a steroid, we'll put a steroid.
Speaker 4: Oh cool.
Speaker 1: And so here's the thing though, right, Like, Chris, you
want a suppository, right, that's what I'm guessing.
Speaker 2: Uh, I mean yeah, when would I not?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that means I'm gonna put it in your butt
the steroid.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, no, I I got this suppository.
Speaker 3: But unctually, Chris, he's covered in all that like baby lotions,
so he's gonna be pretty like slick with it, you know.
So chad Fire is like, how big is this pill
that you're gonna be like?
Speaker 4: Sup?
Speaker 1: Positive, hold on, I've got it in my duffle bag
right here.
Speaker 3: Okay, oh yeah, there it is whoa, I thought that
was the bottle. That's the pill.
Speaker 1: Oh no, this is this is the pill. Whoa, Yeah,
this is the one that would go in there for you, Chris.
Speaker 2: That's a rise. It's it's it's super hard. Yeah, it's
gonna get you.
Speaker 1: It's going to get you. You're gonna feel that pump
real fast. I think with this one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I just don't know. I mean, there's like
a physics. Hey, Chris, I got a question for you. Yeah, okay,
do you want to.
Speaker 1: Feel that pump?
Speaker 2: I want to feel the pump, but I it's just
a physics, Chris, Like, you know, the pigulum left and right, Like,
I don't know if it'll Chris, I'm hearing a lot
of excuses, and this is one of the first things
we got to get rid of.
Speaker 1: Do you want to feel that pump?
Speaker 2: Get rid of what the pill or the excuses?
Speaker 1: The excuses, man, do you want to feel that pump?
Speaker 3: We got to get rid of the excuses, but we
also got to get that pill.
Speaker 2: We got to get rid of it by putting it
in your butt.
Speaker 1: Listen, if it's like, if it's like a body issue
or something, right, I can make adjustments right, I can
make modifications and everything right to the exercises, to the pill,
but this one is is non negotiable.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I mean not. There aren't very many negotiations
in hell, so that makes sense. Uh, we'll be a
quick question. You were really talking about all natural but like,
are steroid's natural? Like, isn't this like not natural?
Speaker 1: No, it is. It's pretty natural to want to get
as jacked as you can, as fast as.
Speaker 2: You can, I would agree.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And also they are filled with all natural materials
like sure, what elephant testosterone?
Speaker 2: Elephant testosterone?
Speaker 1: Yeah thing, yeah, yeah, yeah, you want to get hard
like an elephant, right, you take elephant testosterone.
Speaker 4: I mean that does make sense. They have very rough skin.
Speaker 1: Very hard, very rough skin. They're very large, right. They
also don't forget, which is a nice little byproduct to
take in this pill where the sundomes yehine.
Speaker 2: So your memory helps you with your memory, and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I mean it helps you, it will maybe
help you with your memory, and by help, it's like
more of a side effect and that like you're probably
gonna be forgetting a lot of things because this is
an inhuman amount of elephant testosterone that we're going to
be kind of given to you. But you know, like
it's an elephant, man, and like they're really big and
if you want to get big, that's what we're gonna do.
Speaker 3: I'm looking at this bottle and it says stuff like
contains beta blockers.
Speaker 4: Bcaa's amino acids.
Speaker 3: What are all these things? That's that sounds like a
lot of fancy science stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so you know the elephant's testos how how
where do you extract it from or like, how does
it go into your system? Or here? Hold on one second,
uh huh ah, okay, that was a was that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? That was a needle full of elephant testosterone. I
could just put it right in your thigh. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh whoa, Oh my god, oh my god. You feel
so hard.
Speaker 1: Look at that.
Speaker 2: It's so hard. It won't feel that it's just working,
it's just rigid. Oh feeling that leggings.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're feeling jacked right now, man, I can how
jacks you're feeling.
Speaker 4: You look huge. You look huge.
Speaker 2: I kind of want to go like fucking elephant.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that's a weird side effect. Jesus.
Speaker 1: Uh, that's not really that's not really a side effect
we've seen before. But you know that might just be
in there. That might just be in there.
Speaker 2: Move my legs.
Speaker 4: I want to trample. So chadfires. I'm noticing that.
Speaker 3: Chris is just he's got so much energy. He doesn't
know what to do with it. He's like doing a
lot of running in place, and he's also boxing and
air What is it?
Speaker 4: What is that? That's shadow boxing?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, whenever you see people doing that at
the gym, that's ghosts.
Speaker 4: Yeah what yeah, yeah, people do it. What does that mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's like ghosts. They're like all around us, and
they're just like fighting ghosts. Those guys are actually protecting
us from ghosts. So right now you can't really see them,
but I think Chris can see them. Yeah, there's a
lot of them. There's a lot of ghosts.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, chat fires. Can you imagine an army full
of these just flying around. We throw them at the
angels and they're just flailing around at their arms and
just angry.
Speaker 4: And foaming at the mouth. This is gonna be the best
military ever.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. They are gonna be like undisciplined and like
jacked to the tits and like, ye ready real ready
to like mess up some angels because like everyone knows,
like when it comes to like an angel or a ghost,
angel is gonna be pretty easy to take down compared
to a ghost.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to jack some tits.
Speaker 4: Okay, Chris comment down.
Speaker 3: I know that you know the angels, they probably have
their own workout thing going on.
Speaker 4: Do you know what they're doing to get their army
into shape?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we got some intel over from
Heaven about like what what they're doing over there, And
it's just a bunch of like they do. I'm looking
through the list right here. They do some cardio, then
they do a little bit of mobile work, right, and
then they do some strength training, right, and then they
do kind of like a cool down decompression right, and
then they start doing kind of like they're more like
high intensity interval training, right, you know, and then they
usually close things out with some kind of like finisher
like burnout. Maybe they'll do like a long run and
come back right, something that kind of like burns their
body out, and then they come back and they do
some decompression work. Right. This stuff is nonsense, man, They're
gonna get over the course of a week or no,
they'll do like they'll do like three or four of
these a week generally.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, how they can't be running that far?
I mean, cardio is useless. It's pretty useless.
Speaker 1: They're running for like thirty miles a day up on clouds.
Speaker 4: Whoa, I'm curiosity. Do you know what their mile time is?
Speaker 1: You know, last last I heard from our intel it
was something like sub four something like whatever that means?
Speaker 2: Good lord, yeah, that's they sound really lame.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it'll make them real good at running away
from all of our like jacked soldiers or swoljers, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 4: Ah, I hate angels.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you're gonna be a swolja.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, Chadfires, I gotta say this was some super awesome information.
I mean I'm feeling I'm feeling jacks for our army.
I think we're gonna be doing great things. So thanks
so much for coming by man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you know, with Chad Fires, right, you
get results. He could mess up a bunch of angels
right now.
Speaker 2: Well, how does it feel like my entire stomach is
on fire?
Speaker 1: The smoke?
Speaker 2: Okay, now there's coming. There's there's smoke coming out of
my ass, Chad, Chadfires, smoke coming out my ass.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that makes sense because like that's another one
of my slogans, right, It's that you can't blow smoke
up an ass without Chad Fires being up that ass
first blowing smoke.
Speaker 4: Oh, that's it needs a little work, that's a little bit.
Speaker 1: It's a little I've been trying to work on it.
I've been trying to get that one down to something
a little bit more manageable.
Speaker 4: Sure, sure, maybe lose the character count a bit, yeaheah.
Speaker 2: I just feel like some of my eternal organs are
literally dying.
Speaker 4: No, Chris, that's all natural. Man, You're you're gonna be fine.
Speaker 3: Well, Chad, thanks again, man, I owe you big time
that great stuff.
Speaker 4: We'll see you around.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, okay, So yeah, we just want to keep
talking about that fee, right that we talked about at
the top. You know that I got that hourly rate,
and then you know I brought in all these there
was the elephant testosterone shot, right, I was giving you
all some kind of like proprietary like brand information. Right.
So right, there's gonna be kind of like an additional
surcharge for that, right, I brought this equipment in, right,
Chris used my equipment over here when he lifted all
that stuff. Right, So you know, all that stuff plus
these ghosts. Right, the ghosts came in with me so
he could do a little bit of the fighting, right,
just to get a little bit of a hands on demonstration.
So you know, with all that, right, we're gonna be
looking at some money. I'm just gonna like write it
down on a piece of paper and then slide over
to you because I'm real bad at pronouncing numbers.
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, wow wee wow.
Speaker 1: So it's that right like times however, many people are
in hell.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, that's how much a training session.
Speaker 4: That's how what you cost to get in shape?
Speaker 1: Yeah, for every you know, for every workout that we do,
and we're gonna need a lot of them, oh per workout.
Yeah yeah, that's if you want to beat up some angels. Right,
this is you can't make an omelet without Chad fires.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I mean I feel like that's a lot chadfires.
Damn you you really dropped us, dropped this on us.
I didn't really think that the will be costing this
munch money.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, that's what you get when you get like
the Chad Fires brand, right, You've got the brand recognition,
you got the name, right, So all this, like all
these results, if that's what you want to get. Yeah,
Chris is feeling them.
Speaker 2: I'm feeling just a lot of burn, a lot of burn.
It just burns a lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So I'll see you guys kind of on Tuesday
or something so we can start these workouts. Right, you
just send that money over. Wow.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, Chad Fires. Yeah, I guess we'll be in
touch about scheduling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'll just I'll just send over the invoice, right, I'll.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we'll we'll get right on that. Thanks, Thanks Chad.
Speaker 1: Here, I'm gonna squat jump my way out of here.
Speaker 3: Okay. Oh wow, once again, did not use the door.
That's gonna be more money that we'll have to pay
to fix the roof. Uh shit, Chris, that cost us
a lot of money.
Speaker 4: But I hurt.
Speaker 2: It really hurts.
Speaker 3: I did not think he was gonna charge us that much.
But you know what they say about Chad Fires. You
can't burn bridges without Chad Fires. Well that's been other
episode A good morn from Hell. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 5: All right, well hell Kitan, Hey, thanks guys for listening.
I want to thank our special guest Eddie Reeves for
hopping by.
Speaker 4: Eddie So good to have you, dude.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Man. So for the folks at home who are not
familiar with your work, what do you do and where
can they find you?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I am the writing supervisor for RT Animation, so
working a lot of our shows there.
Speaker 3: I'm actually shocked that we were able to get you
because you are a busy man. But we really appreciate
you stopping by. Eddie is Actually I don't know if
this is an embarrassing detail. You went through a huge
body transformation. You're like one of the most fit people
I know now.
Speaker 2: But you were. You're a bigger guy back in the day.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I actually I lost something like one hundred
and thirty pounds total.
Speaker 4: I think it was just using your back them.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, only eating hard things. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Now, Eddie's hard, so go check came out in social
media so you can see how hardy is and then
comments on all the towns letting him know how hard
he is.
Speaker 4: We can tell.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you find me on social Twitter is at Eddie Rivis,
and that's the same for my Instagram.
Speaker 2: Right on, all right, thanks Eddie.
Speaker 4: Bye.