Speaker 1: Welcome to Hacking Your Leadership.
Speaker 2: I'm Chris, I'm Lorenzo, and Lorenzo.
Speaker 1: On this episode, we're continuing our discussion around the advice
Speaker 1: that coaches would give to their younger selves if they
Speaker 1: could go back in time. This is from the Forbes
Speaker 1: article written by the Coaches Counsel, which are coaches who
Speaker 1: are actually known in the business for being professional coaches,
Speaker 1: and this is the advice they would give the younger selves.
Speaker 1: On the last episode, we talked about the importance of
Speaker 1: dreaming bigger. I think it was a great discussion. On
Speaker 1: this episode, I want to talk about the concept of
Speaker 1: this too shall pass. And I like this a lot
Speaker 1: because I think it is I think I don't think
Speaker 1: anybody listening right now has never heard that term before.
Speaker 2: This too shall pass.
Speaker 1: Whether or not you put a lot of stake in
Speaker 1: it can depend on whether or not you're going through
Speaker 1: something that you really want to pass or not. But
Speaker 1: I think when it comes to this advice, the most
Speaker 1: important part of it is that the it applies to
Speaker 1: both the very positive things in your life as well
Speaker 1: as the very negative things in your life. It's both
Speaker 1: and so the you know, kind of keeping perspective on
Speaker 1: whatever your situation is, it will almost always be temporary.
Speaker 1: I think it's a really important piece of advice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. I think sometimes we get caught up
Speaker 2: in those spaces where it feels like, you know, this
Speaker 2: is never going to end. It feels like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: I you know, I'm never going to get that next opportunity,
Speaker 2: or maybe you get a turned down or something and
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, like that was my only chance. You know,
Speaker 2: these jobs don't ever open up, and then finally did,
Speaker 2: and you kind of get in those those modes where
Speaker 2: you might get stuck a little bit in those in
Speaker 2: those spaces. And I think that it's important to you know,
Speaker 2: over time, as you grow and as you mature, these
Speaker 2: are things that you start to understand that like, no,
Speaker 2: so like if you're working hard, you're kind of committed,
Speaker 2: you're persevering, you're putting your best effort, you're showing up
Speaker 2: every day, you're learning every day, like you're really applying
Speaker 2: yourself to be the best version of yourself and to
Speaker 2: make sure that you're learning and growing. These opportunities continue
Speaker 2: to show up, and you know, sometimes they're not the
Speaker 2: most planned way. You know, many times I think We
Speaker 2: talked about this, you know, last week in another episode.
Speaker 2: But like, sometimes things happen when you're in the right
Speaker 2: mindset and you're focused on doing great work, and it
Speaker 2: wasn't the plan that you initially had. It's the plan
Speaker 2: that you go down. And I think that that's something that,
Speaker 2: you know, looking back on, everybody is kind of is
Speaker 2: stuck in that space sometimes, you know, it takes a mentor,
Speaker 2: it takes someone to kind of slow you down a
Speaker 2: little bit and to talk through it and to kind
Speaker 2: of show, you know, maybe share their own testimony, their
Speaker 2: own story about how they were able to navigate it
Speaker 2: and figure things out. But I think it's such an
Speaker 2: important thing. And I also appreciate that it's like it's
Speaker 2: not just like when the negative things happen, but also
Speaker 2: the positive things. You know, you can, you know, you
Speaker 2: can feel really good about something that's happening and feel
Speaker 2: like this is it, this is perfect. You know, I'm
Speaker 2: on this team. This team is amazing, We do great work.
Speaker 2: Everything we do seems to win, and then the team changes, uh,
Speaker 2: And that's kind of how that's supposed to happen, because
Speaker 2: you know, great teams shouldn't be together for long periods
Speaker 2: of time, they're supposed to get promoted out, they're supposed
Speaker 2: to create other responsibilities or you know, get other responsibilities
Speaker 2: or other opportunities within the organization. Like so it can
Speaker 2: it can be both sides of the coin on it.
Speaker 2: But I think it's good to talk.
Speaker 1: About, yeah, for sure. I also think that another kind
Speaker 1: of adage that applies that's really related to it is
Speaker 1: this concept of you know, when a door closes, typically
Speaker 1: a window opens. You know, there's this it's this this
Speaker 1: concept of you know, when you're when you're thinking about
Speaker 1: this too shall pass and and you're talking about something
Speaker 1: negative happening in your life. Oftentimes when something negative is
Speaker 1: going on, it it opens up little windows to what
Speaker 1: you're supposed to do next. And and I think it's
Speaker 1: it's really hard to see the open window when you're
Speaker 1: focused on the thing that you want to have passed
Speaker 1: very quickly. But if you can get in the mindset
Speaker 1: of at least being aware of when they potentially could
Speaker 1: could happen. I have a very close friend who was
Speaker 1: was turned down for a promotion just like like you
Speaker 1: said a minute ago, Lorenzo and the it was a
Speaker 1: promotion that they assumed they were going to get for
Speaker 1: more than a year when when the job opened, it
Speaker 1: opened someone else got it. And instead of you know, like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying they never dwelled on it. They did
Speaker 1: for a few months, but instead of waiting for the
Speaker 1: next promotion, they actually sort of looking outside the organization
Speaker 1: to other jobs within the same industry. And looking back
Speaker 1: now several years later, it was the best decision they made.
Speaker 1: They left the organization for another one and moved up
Speaker 1: very quickly, and they're they're far happier now than they
Speaker 1: were when they were with the the previous organization. And
Speaker 1: and and it's because it like they we've had conversations
Speaker 1: about this where he has said to me, if I
Speaker 1: had gotten that promotion, I'd still be there. And I'm
Speaker 1: so much happier where I am now than I was
Speaker 1: when I was there. And that doesn't mean that everybody
Speaker 1: should go out and go find new companies. If you're
Speaker 1: happy where your it's great. But this idea of thinking
Speaker 1: that things are supposed to happen a certain way, there's
Speaker 1: nothing is decided until the moment is decided. Right. All
Speaker 1: you can do is put your best foot forward and
Speaker 1: understand that the job interview is every day, not just
Speaker 1: when you are sitting in front of the people you
Speaker 1: know asking you questions, but regardless of what the outcome is.
Speaker 1: The people who can have the resilience to move on
Speaker 1: to whatever the next thing is, if we're talking about
Speaker 1: getting through something negative, and the people who have the
Speaker 1: humility to understand that when they're on top of the world,
Speaker 1: they're not going to be on top of the world forever.
Speaker 1: Those are the people that tend to be the most
Speaker 1: fulfilled and the happiest throughout their career because they understand
Speaker 1: how small a blip on the radar. Pretty much everything
Speaker 1: that is happening to them is in relation to the
Speaker 1: you know, the world.
Speaker 2: As a whole. Change is the only constant in what
Speaker 2: I've seen everywhere, and it's actually where you want to be.
Speaker 2: You want to be in a life and in a
Speaker 2: profession or with an organization where you constantly feel or
Speaker 2: see change and you know it. Change is cool when
Speaker 2: you get to control it, when you're the one in
Speaker 2: the driver's seat here and like, well, I'm going to
Speaker 2: make a change, Like you just brought up that example.
Speaker 2: It made me think about that, Like it feels good
Speaker 2: when you make the change. It doesn't feel good when
Speaker 2: sometimes change happens to you, right, and then you kind
Speaker 2: of have to make a choice around like, well is
Speaker 2: this like is this going to be a bad thing?
Speaker 2: Am I going to be stuck here? Am I going
Speaker 2: to be able to move past this? Or am I
Speaker 2: going to proactively be a part of this change? Am
Speaker 2: I going to see this as an opportunity to change
Speaker 2: with what's going on to evolve to take an opportunity?
Speaker 2: So I think that it's something that you know, as
Speaker 2: you were talking through that example, that's really what I
Speaker 2: kind of hear in this specific topic today, is like
Speaker 2: that way of accepting change, being able to move with it,
Speaker 2: and realizing that it's always going to be happening, so
Speaker 2: that you know, whether it's it's it's good or it's
Speaker 2: bad or you're indifferent to it, that there's always going
Speaker 2: to be something tomorrow, the next day, next week, next
Speaker 2: year that's going to kind of allow you to take
Speaker 2: a different route if you want to. And I think
Speaker 2: that's good. I think I think it's good to be
Speaker 2: challenged and pushed. I think that when people kind of
Speaker 2: you know, get stuck in those spaces, it can it
Speaker 2: can kind of create complacency, and then you know, when
Speaker 2: it comes to just you wanted to challenge yourself as
Speaker 2: a leader in leading people, you start to get a
Speaker 2: you know, you start to get a little bit of
Speaker 2: a bad taste in your mouth, or maybe you start
Speaker 2: to get a little bit like complacent again, or you just
Speaker 2: you're not pushing yourself to be your best version, which
Speaker 2: is which is which then just lows everything else down
Speaker 2: for sure. For sure.
Speaker 1: I saw Adam Grant had a quote on LinkedIn a
Speaker 1: few months ago, and I'm not going to get it
Speaker 1: exactly right, but the but the gist of it was
Speaker 1: something along the lines of people don't fear change. It's
Speaker 1: always say that people don't like change. It's like, no,
Speaker 1: people don't dislike change. They fear the potential outcomes of
Speaker 1: what's going to happen on the other side of that change. Right,
Speaker 1: So it's not that the change itself is a problematic,
Speaker 1: it's they're worried about not being able to control what's
Speaker 1: on the other side and having their new reality after
Speaker 1: the change has happened. They're worried about what that looks
Speaker 1: like in their life. And not only does this apply,
Speaker 1: you know, thinking about the fact that whatever it is
Speaker 1: that will change too eventually. I think the people who
Speaker 1: are the are the happiest and the most capable of
Speaker 1: getting through these things are the ones that understand that
Speaker 1: they have some control to be able to shape their
Speaker 1: own reality, that they don't have to just let life
Speaker 1: happen to them, that they can take steps to make
Speaker 1: sure that it's happening to them and the changes happen
Speaker 1: to them in the right way. And that doesn't mean
Speaker 1: you can control every aspect of it, but you can
Speaker 1: absolutely control the mindset of going into it and and
Speaker 1: thinking about, Okay, how do I how do I approach
Speaker 1: this in in the mindset of saying, let's let's assume
Speaker 1: positive intent. Let's assume that there's there could be some
Speaker 1: good that comes out of this, and try to focus
Speaker 1: on that and see what what we can kind of
Speaker 1: bring out of the of the of the cloth here
Speaker 1: to get a little bit more of the positive out
Speaker 1: as opposed to just dwelling on whatever you had before
Speaker 1: but don't have now, or what you thought you were
Speaker 1: going to have but don't have now, instead of focusing
Speaker 1: on the stuff that you that you do get that
Speaker 1: you didn't have before and how to shape that into
Speaker 1: something that will be you know, beneficial for you in
Speaker 1: the long term. And if you can, if you can
Speaker 1: do that, and I'm not saying it's easy to do,
Speaker 1: it's it's hard. And and the more the the closer
Speaker 1: you are proximity wise to the change happening or the
Speaker 1: negative thing happening to you, the harder it is. You
Speaker 1: have to you have to get through it in your
Speaker 1: own head first before you can get into the mindset
Speaker 1: of being positive about it. So I'm not saying that
Speaker 1: you know, you've got to do this right away, but
Speaker 1: the sooner you can do it, the better off you
Speaker 1: will be. The sooner you can realize that all the
Speaker 1: something negative that's happening is going to go away eventually,
Speaker 1: and something positive is happening, it's going to go away eventually.
Speaker 1: The sooner you could recognize that and and make sure
Speaker 1: that you are, you know, thinking about the thinking about
Speaker 1: how to get past the next thing if it's a
Speaker 1: positive thing right now, or how to get past this
Speaker 1: thing if it's a negative thing right now. We talk
Speaker 1: about organizations who they're they're on top of the world
Speaker 1: doing whatever it is that they do, and then eventually
Speaker 1: one day you find out that, like, whatever happened to them,
Speaker 1: but they were, they were the biggest thing. You look
Speaker 1: about things like like Blockbuster and Netflix and their other
Speaker 1: stories like that. The the idea that that whatever is
Speaker 1: happening will always happen if it's a positive thing, because
Speaker 1: nothing will ever change. That's a really naive way to
Speaker 1: look at it. And if you're not, if you're on
Speaker 1: top of the world on something and you're not constantly
Speaker 1: thinking about, all right, what's the next move here? Because
Speaker 1: there's no way this is sustainable forever. So I need
Speaker 1: to make sure I know what is the next step
Speaker 1: for me or the next step in the line is
Speaker 1: because when it eventually changes, I don't want to be
Speaker 1: blindsided by it. I don't want to have to have
Speaker 1: my whole world thrown into upheaval like Blockbusters was or
Speaker 1: other companies like that. So yeah, the idea of we're
Speaker 1: really remembering this when it's positive, I think is sometimes
Speaker 1: even harder to do than when something negative is happening.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and with that it brings us to this episodes
Speaker 2: of One Minute Hack. But first a few words from
Speaker 2: our sponsors.
Speaker 1: All right, for this episode of One Minute Hack, here
Speaker 1: is I want you to do. I want you to
Speaker 1: get a pen on paper. I want you to write
Speaker 1: down the last three positive thing and last three negative
Speaker 1: things that happened to you in your life. That can
Speaker 1: be small or big, but think about it for a
Speaker 1: minute and write them down. And then I want you
Speaker 1: to write down, write down how long it took for
Speaker 1: those things to not be in the front of your
Speaker 1: mind anymore, whether it was positive or negative. And you'll
Speaker 1: see a pattern here that everyone that you're naming, unless
Speaker 1: it's happening to you right now or you're going through
Speaker 1: at this very moment, the things you had to think
Speaker 1: about in order to put down on the paper, the
Speaker 1: things you couldn't come up with right away, they've already passed,
Speaker 1: the positive and the negative. Either it's from a positive standpoint,
Speaker 1: it's passed because the novelty has worn off and you're
Speaker 1: no longer excited about it, even if it's still a
Speaker 1: position that you're in or a role that you're in,
Speaker 1: or it's a positive thing that that you was a
Speaker 1: finite period of time and now you're not doing that
Speaker 1: role anymore, and you move on to the next thing,
Speaker 1: and same thing with negative things, the things that you
Speaker 1: have to think about in order to put down on
Speaker 1: that list are already things that you have moved passed
Speaker 1: through in your own mind, and going through this exercise
Speaker 1: should help you understand that you know, whatever you're putting
Speaker 1: on this list has already passed you by, and that
Speaker 1: means anything that comes at you in the future is
Speaker 1: also going to pass you by. To the idea of
Speaker 1: being able to look at everything like this will help
Speaker 1: you understand that you have the mindset to get through
Speaker 1: it because you have already done it before, so you'll
Speaker 1: be able to do it again. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think it's a great woman in hack and in
Speaker 2: those moments of even when we think we're past something
Speaker 2: good or bad, even if we're riding kind of the
Speaker 2: emotional high of something that's recently happened, and you kind
Speaker 2: of feel like, oh, I'm good, you know, because I'm good,
Speaker 2: I don't have to do this, or because this is
Speaker 2: you know, a great thing has happened to me, I
Speaker 2: can kind of like I can coast a little bit.
Speaker 2: Or you're holding on to something that happened where you're
Speaker 2: just like you can't move on and you're stuck. I
Speaker 2: think it's important to think about that reflect on those
Speaker 2: things and and really consider not only like are you
Speaker 2: moving past these situations? And if you're not, why are
Speaker 2: you having a hard time moving past it? Who can
Speaker 2: you talk to about it? What are the things that
Speaker 2: you can really do to help yourself to to kind
Speaker 2: of move beyond. And again, even if it's the good things,
Speaker 2: I think that's probably where I'm just thinking to my
Speaker 2: own head, Like where I probably get caught up sometimes
Speaker 2: is like you've done some really good work or something
Speaker 2: that's happened, and like, Yep, that's exactly how I wanted
Speaker 2: it to play out, or that's exactly like we know
Speaker 2: why we worked on that strategy, and it's like great,
Speaker 2: that means we can conquer the world. That means that,
Speaker 2: like you know, if we got that down, we don't
Speaker 2: have to worry about the next one. And then the
Speaker 2: next one happens, you're like, oh uh oh, Like it
Speaker 2: didn't go how we wanted it to go right, And
Speaker 2: it was because there was like this assumption that like
Speaker 2: because this one was done correctly or that there was
Speaker 2: some success here, that obviously it would just apply to
Speaker 2: the next thing. And then you start to realize that
Speaker 2: like it all requires follow up. It all requires validation.
Speaker 2: It all requires to stay kind of committed to making
Speaker 2: sure that things are happening in the way they're supposed.
Speaker 1: To happen right for sure. For sure. This is something
Speaker 1: that I think a lot of parents deal with when
Speaker 1: it comes to two kids, because oftentimes the learning curve
Speaker 1: when when you are young and doing something is really
Speaker 1: you know, steep and quick, and so you you know,
Speaker 1: each time that you do something where it be a
Speaker 1: sport or riding a bike or whatever it is, the
Speaker 1: second time is far better than the first, The third
Speaker 1: time is far better than the second. Like, it takes
Speaker 1: a while before you stop getting these major wins right
Speaker 1: in a row, and you can start to think, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, every time I do this, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: be much better at it than I was the time before.
Speaker 1: And eventually you plateau when you stop, and then that
Speaker 1: becomes a a tough lesson that the kid has to
Speaker 1: learn that. You know, it doesn't mean that every time
Speaker 1: you're gonna win. Sometimes you're not gonna win. Sometimes you're
Speaker 1: not gonna be better at it than you than you
Speaker 1: were before. And and when it comes to you know,
Speaker 1: kind of life lessons and the positive just like what
Speaker 1: we were talking about. If you if you don't stop
Speaker 1: to think to yourself that this is just a foregone conclusion,
Speaker 1: that it will always happen the way that it's always happened,
Speaker 1: then you're setting yourself up for kind of a big,
Speaker 1: you know, psychological or emotional blow when it eventually does.
Speaker 1: And and but it but it is a numbers game.
Speaker 1: And so the more you do things, hopefully by the
Speaker 1: time that you are far enough along in your career,
Speaker 1: you've had enough successes and failures to where you've gotten
Speaker 1: through them and then everything's fine. It's like the there's
Speaker 1: the old movie trope of a of a person who
Speaker 1: works for the same job from the time they, you know,
Speaker 1: go to college to the time they're in their fifties
Speaker 1: and they get laid off and they have they have
Speaker 1: nothing else to do, and they have no no, no
Speaker 1: job defined, and they can't they have no network they've
Speaker 1: made over their years because they've only worked at the
Speaker 1: same job the entire time. It's like, that's a very
Speaker 1: real thing for some people. And the way to not
Speaker 1: have that happen is to make sure that you are
Speaker 1: growing your network and you're changing organizations and you are
Speaker 1: putting yourself in positions where you have the strength of
Speaker 1: mindset that can only be built by going through something
Speaker 1: over and over and over again, both positive and negative,
Speaker 1: so that you understand A you have the ability to
Speaker 1: get through it, and B you have the network to
Speaker 1: help you get through it. And if you have those
Speaker 1: two things combined, this too Shall Pass can ring really strong.
Speaker 1: If you don't have those two things, this too Shall
Speaker 1: Pass can sound like bad advice from someone who doesn't
Speaker 1: understand what you're going through. And so, but a lot
Speaker 1: of it is really up to you to control and
Speaker 1: to put yourself in the position to make.
Speaker 2: Happen absolutely and with that it brings us to the
Speaker 2: end of this episode. This is hacking your leadership. I'm
Speaker 2: Lorenzo and I'm Chris, and we'll talk to you all
Speaker 2: next time.