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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Hacking Your Leadership.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Chris, I'm Lorenzo, and Lorenzo.

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<v Speaker 1>On this episode, we're continuing our discussion around the advice

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<v Speaker 1>that coaches would give to their younger selves if they

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<v Speaker 1>could go back in time. This is from the Forbes

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<v Speaker 1>article written by the Coaches Counsel, which are coaches who

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<v Speaker 1>are actually known in the business for being professional coaches,

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<v Speaker 1>and this is the advice they would give the younger selves.

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<v Speaker 1>On the last episode, we talked about the importance of

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<v Speaker 1>dreaming bigger. I think it was a great discussion. On

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<v Speaker 1>this episode, I want to talk about the concept of

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<v Speaker 1>this too shall pass. And I like this a lot

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<v Speaker 1>because I think it is I think I don't think

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<v Speaker 1>anybody listening right now has never heard that term before.

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<v Speaker 2>This too shall pass.

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<v Speaker 1>Whether or not you put a lot of stake in

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<v Speaker 1>it can depend on whether or not you're going through

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<v Speaker 1>something that you really want to pass or not. But

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<v Speaker 1>I think when it comes to this advice, the most

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<v Speaker 1>important part of it is that the it applies to

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<v Speaker 1>both the very positive things in your life as well

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<v Speaker 1>as the very negative things in your life. It's both

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<v Speaker 1>and so the you know, kind of keeping perspective on

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<v Speaker 1>whatever your situation is, it will almost always be temporary.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's a really important piece of advice.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I agree. I think sometimes we get caught up

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<v Speaker 2>in those spaces where it feels like, you know, this

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<v Speaker 2>is never going to end. It feels like, oh my gosh,

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<v Speaker 2>I you know, I'm never going to get that next opportunity,

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<v Speaker 2>or maybe you get a turned down or something and

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<v Speaker 2>you're like, oh, like that was my only chance. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>these jobs don't ever open up, and then finally did,

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<v Speaker 2>and you kind of get in those those modes where

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<v Speaker 2>you might get stuck a little bit in those in

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<v Speaker 2>those spaces. And I think that it's important to you know,

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<v Speaker 2>over time, as you grow and as you mature, these

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<v Speaker 2>are things that you start to understand that like, no,

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<v Speaker 2>so like if you're working hard, you're kind of committed,

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<v Speaker 2>you're persevering, you're putting your best effort, you're showing up

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<v Speaker 2>every day, you're learning every day, like you're really applying

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<v Speaker 2>yourself to be the best version of yourself and to

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<v Speaker 2>make sure that you're learning and growing. These opportunities continue

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<v Speaker 2>to show up, and you know, sometimes they're not the

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<v Speaker 2>most planned way. You know, many times I think We

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<v Speaker 2>talked about this, you know, last week in another episode.

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<v Speaker 2>But like, sometimes things happen when you're in the right

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<v Speaker 2>mindset and you're focused on doing great work, and it

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't the plan that you initially had. It's the plan

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<v Speaker 2>that you go down. And I think that that's something that,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, looking back on, everybody is kind of is

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<v Speaker 2>stuck in that space sometimes, you know, it takes a mentor,

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<v Speaker 2>it takes someone to kind of slow you down a

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<v Speaker 2>little bit and to talk through it and to kind

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<v Speaker 2>of show, you know, maybe share their own testimony, their

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<v Speaker 2>own story about how they were able to navigate it

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<v Speaker 2>and figure things out. But I think it's such an

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<v Speaker 2>important thing. And I also appreciate that it's like it's

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<v Speaker 2>not just like when the negative things happen, but also

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<v Speaker 2>the positive things. You know, you can, you know, you

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<v Speaker 2>can feel really good about something that's happening and feel

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<v Speaker 2>like this is it, this is perfect. You know, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>on this team. This team is amazing, We do great work.

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<v Speaker 2>Everything we do seems to win, and then the team changes, uh,

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<v Speaker 2>And that's kind of how that's supposed to happen, because

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<v Speaker 2>you know, great teams shouldn't be together for long periods

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<v Speaker 2>of time, they're supposed to get promoted out, they're supposed

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<v Speaker 2>to create other responsibilities or you know, get other responsibilities

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<v Speaker 2>or other opportunities within the organization. Like so it can

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<v Speaker 2>it can be both sides of the coin on it.

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<v Speaker 2>But I think it's good to talk.

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<v Speaker 1>About, yeah, for sure. I also think that another kind

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<v Speaker 1>of adage that applies that's really related to it is

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<v Speaker 1>this concept of you know, when a door closes, typically

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<v Speaker 1>a window opens. You know, there's this it's this this

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<v Speaker 1>concept of you know, when you're when you're thinking about

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<v Speaker 1>this too shall pass and and you're talking about something

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<v Speaker 1>negative happening in your life. Oftentimes when something negative is

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<v Speaker 1>going on, it it opens up little windows to what

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<v Speaker 1>you're supposed to do next. And and I think it's

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<v Speaker 1>it's really hard to see the open window when you're

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<v Speaker 1>focused on the thing that you want to have passed

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<v Speaker 1>very quickly. But if you can get in the mindset

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<v Speaker 1>of at least being aware of when they potentially could

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<v Speaker 1>could happen. I have a very close friend who was

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<v Speaker 1>was turned down for a promotion just like like you

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<v Speaker 1>said a minute ago, Lorenzo and the it was a

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<v Speaker 1>promotion that they assumed they were going to get for

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<v Speaker 1>more than a year when when the job opened, it

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<v Speaker 1>opened someone else got it. And instead of you know, like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying they never dwelled on it. They did

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<v Speaker 1>for a few months, but instead of waiting for the

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<v Speaker 1>next promotion, they actually sort of looking outside the organization

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<v Speaker 1>to other jobs within the same industry. And looking back

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<v Speaker 1>now several years later, it was the best decision they made.

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<v Speaker 1>They left the organization for another one and moved up

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<v Speaker 1>very quickly, and they're they're far happier now than they

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<v Speaker 1>were when they were with the the previous organization. And

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<v Speaker 1>and and it's because it like they we've had conversations

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<v Speaker 1>about this where he has said to me, if I

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<v Speaker 1>had gotten that promotion, I'd still be there. And I'm

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<v Speaker 1>so much happier where I am now than I was

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<v Speaker 1>when I was there. And that doesn't mean that everybody

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<v Speaker 1>should go out and go find new companies. If you're

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<v Speaker 1>happy where your it's great. But this idea of thinking

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<v Speaker 1>that things are supposed to happen a certain way, there's

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<v Speaker 1>nothing is decided until the moment is decided. Right. All

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<v Speaker 1>you can do is put your best foot forward and

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<v Speaker 1>understand that the job interview is every day, not just

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<v Speaker 1>when you are sitting in front of the people you

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<v Speaker 1>know asking you questions, but regardless of what the outcome is.

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<v Speaker 1>The people who can have the resilience to move on

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<v Speaker 1>to whatever the next thing is, if we're talking about

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<v Speaker 1>getting through something negative, and the people who have the

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<v Speaker 1>humility to understand that when they're on top of the world,

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<v Speaker 1>they're not going to be on top of the world forever.

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<v Speaker 1>Those are the people that tend to be the most

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<v Speaker 1>fulfilled and the happiest throughout their career because they understand

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<v Speaker 1>how small a blip on the radar. Pretty much everything

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<v Speaker 1>that is happening to them is in relation to the

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<v Speaker 1>you know, the world.

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<v Speaker 2>As a whole. Change is the only constant in what

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<v Speaker 2>I've seen everywhere, and it's actually where you want to be.

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<v Speaker 2>You want to be in a life and in a

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<v Speaker 2>profession or with an organization where you constantly feel or

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<v Speaker 2>see change and you know it. Change is cool when

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<v Speaker 2>you get to control it, when you're the one in

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<v Speaker 2>the driver's seat here and like, well, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>make a change, Like you just brought up that example.

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<v Speaker 2>It made me think about that, Like it feels good

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<v Speaker 2>when you make the change. It doesn't feel good when

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<v Speaker 2>sometimes change happens to you, right, and then you kind

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<v Speaker 2>of have to make a choice around like, well is

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<v Speaker 2>this like is this going to be a bad thing?

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<v Speaker 2>Am I going to be stuck here? Am I going

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<v Speaker 2>to be able to move past this? Or am I

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<v Speaker 2>going to proactively be a part of this change? Am

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<v Speaker 2>I going to see this as an opportunity to change

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<v Speaker 2>with what's going on to evolve to take an opportunity?

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<v Speaker 2>So I think that it's something that you know, as

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<v Speaker 2>you were talking through that example, that's really what I

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<v Speaker 2>kind of hear in this specific topic today, is like

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<v Speaker 2>that way of accepting change, being able to move with it,

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<v Speaker 2>and realizing that it's always going to be happening, so

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<v Speaker 2>that you know, whether it's it's it's good or it's

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<v Speaker 2>bad or you're indifferent to it, that there's always going

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<v Speaker 2>to be something tomorrow, the next day, next week, next

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<v Speaker 2>year that's going to kind of allow you to take

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<v Speaker 2>a different route if you want to. And I think

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<v Speaker 2>that's good. I think I think it's good to be

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<v Speaker 2>challenged and pushed. I think that when people kind of

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<v Speaker 2>you know, get stuck in those spaces, it can it

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<v Speaker 2>can kind of create complacency, and then you know, when

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<v Speaker 2>it comes to just you wanted to challenge yourself as

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<v Speaker 2>a leader in leading people, you start to get a

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<v Speaker 2>you know, you start to get a little bit of

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<v Speaker 2>a bad taste in your mouth, or maybe you start

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<v Speaker 2>to get a little bit like complacent again, or you just

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<v Speaker 2>you're not pushing yourself to be your best version, which

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<v Speaker 2>is which is which then just lows everything else down

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<v Speaker 2>for sure. For sure.

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<v Speaker 1>I saw Adam Grant had a quote on LinkedIn a

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<v Speaker 1>few months ago, and I'm not going to get it

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<v Speaker 1>exactly right, but the but the gist of it was

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<v Speaker 1>something along the lines of people don't fear change. It's

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<v Speaker 1>always say that people don't like change. It's like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>people don't dislike change. They fear the potential outcomes of

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<v Speaker 1>what's going to happen on the other side of that change. Right,

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<v Speaker 1>So it's not that the change itself is a problematic,

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<v Speaker 1>it's they're worried about not being able to control what's

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<v Speaker 1>on the other side and having their new reality after

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<v Speaker 1>the change has happened. They're worried about what that looks

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<v Speaker 1>like in their life. And not only does this apply,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, thinking about the fact that whatever it is

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<v Speaker 1>that will change too eventually. I think the people who

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<v Speaker 1>are the are the happiest and the most capable of

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<v Speaker 1>getting through these things are the ones that understand that

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<v Speaker 1>they have some control to be able to shape their

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<v Speaker 1>own reality, that they don't have to just let life

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<v Speaker 1>happen to them, that they can take steps to make

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<v Speaker 1>sure that it's happening to them and the changes happen

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<v Speaker 1>to them in the right way. And that doesn't mean

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<v Speaker 1>you can control every aspect of it, but you can

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<v Speaker 1>absolutely control the mindset of going into it and and

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<v Speaker 1>thinking about, Okay, how do I how do I approach

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<v Speaker 1>this in in the mindset of saying, let's let's assume

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<v Speaker 1>positive intent. Let's assume that there's there could be some

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<v Speaker 1>good that comes out of this, and try to focus

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<v Speaker 1>on that and see what what we can kind of

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<v Speaker 1>bring out of the of the of the cloth here

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<v Speaker 1>to get a little bit more of the positive out

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<v Speaker 1>as opposed to just dwelling on whatever you had before

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<v Speaker 1>but don't have now, or what you thought you were

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<v Speaker 1>going to have but don't have now, instead of focusing

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<v Speaker 1>on the stuff that you that you do get that

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<v Speaker 1>you didn't have before and how to shape that into

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<v Speaker 1>something that will be you know, beneficial for you in

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<v Speaker 1>the long term. And if you can, if you can

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<v Speaker 1>do that, and I'm not saying it's easy to do,

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<v Speaker 1>it's it's hard. And and the more the the closer

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<v Speaker 1>you are proximity wise to the change happening or the

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<v Speaker 1>negative thing happening to you, the harder it is. You

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<v Speaker 1>have to you have to get through it in your

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<v Speaker 1>own head first before you can get into the mindset

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<v Speaker 1>of being positive about it. So I'm not saying that

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<v Speaker 1>you know, you've got to do this right away, but

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<v Speaker 1>the sooner you can do it, the better off you

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<v Speaker 1>will be. The sooner you can realize that all the

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<v Speaker 1>something negative that's happening is going to go away eventually,

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<v Speaker 1>and something positive is happening, it's going to go away eventually.

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<v Speaker 1>The sooner you could recognize that and and make sure

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<v Speaker 1>that you are, you know, thinking about the thinking about

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<v Speaker 1>how to get past the next thing if it's a

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<v Speaker 1>positive thing right now, or how to get past this

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<v Speaker 1>thing if it's a negative thing right now. We talk

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<v Speaker 1>about organizations who they're they're on top of the world

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<v Speaker 1>doing whatever it is that they do, and then eventually

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<v Speaker 1>one day you find out that, like, whatever happened to them,

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<v Speaker 1>but they were, they were the biggest thing. You look

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<v Speaker 1>about things like like Blockbuster and Netflix and their other

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<v Speaker 1>stories like that. The the idea that that whatever is

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<v Speaker 1>happening will always happen if it's a positive thing, because

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<v Speaker 1>nothing will ever change. That's a really naive way to

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<v Speaker 1>look at it. And if you're not, if you're on

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<v Speaker 1>top of the world on something and you're not constantly

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<v Speaker 1>thinking about, all right, what's the next move here? Because

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<v Speaker 1>there's no way this is sustainable forever. So I need

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<v Speaker 1>to make sure I know what is the next step

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<v Speaker 1>for me or the next step in the line is

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<v Speaker 1>because when it eventually changes, I don't want to be

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<v Speaker 1>blindsided by it. I don't want to have to have

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<v Speaker 1>my whole world thrown into upheaval like Blockbusters was or

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<v Speaker 1>other companies like that. So yeah, the idea of we're

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<v Speaker 1>really remembering this when it's positive, I think is sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>even harder to do than when something negative is happening.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, and with that it brings us to this episodes

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<v Speaker 2>of One Minute Hack. But first a few words from

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<v Speaker 2>our sponsors.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, for this episode of One Minute Hack, here

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<v Speaker 1>is I want you to do. I want you to

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<v Speaker 1>get a pen on paper. I want you to write

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<v Speaker 1>down the last three positive thing and last three negative

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<v Speaker 1>things that happened to you in your life. That can

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<v Speaker 1>be small or big, but think about it for a

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<v Speaker 1>minute and write them down. And then I want you

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<v Speaker 1>to write down, write down how long it took for

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<v Speaker 1>those things to not be in the front of your

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<v Speaker 1>mind anymore, whether it was positive or negative. And you'll

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<v Speaker 1>see a pattern here that everyone that you're naming, unless

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<v Speaker 1>it's happening to you right now or you're going through

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<v Speaker 1>at this very moment, the things you had to think

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<v Speaker 1>about in order to put down on the paper, the

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<v Speaker 1>things you couldn't come up with right away, they've already passed,

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<v Speaker 1>the positive and the negative. Either it's from a positive standpoint,

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<v Speaker 1>it's passed because the novelty has worn off and you're

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<v Speaker 1>no longer excited about it, even if it's still a

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<v Speaker 1>position that you're in or a role that you're in,

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<v Speaker 1>or it's a positive thing that that you was a

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<v Speaker 1>finite period of time and now you're not doing that

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<v Speaker 1>role anymore, and you move on to the next thing,

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<v Speaker 1>and same thing with negative things, the things that you

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<v Speaker 1>have to think about in order to put down on

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<v Speaker 1>that list are already things that you have moved passed

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<v Speaker 1>through in your own mind, and going through this exercise

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<v Speaker 1>should help you understand that you know, whatever you're putting

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<v Speaker 1>on this list has already passed you by, and that

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<v Speaker 1>means anything that comes at you in the future is

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<v Speaker 1>also going to pass you by. To the idea of

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<v Speaker 1>being able to look at everything like this will help

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<v Speaker 1>you understand that you have the mindset to get through

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<v Speaker 1>it because you have already done it before, so you'll

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<v Speaker 1>be able to do it again. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's a great woman in hack and in

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<v Speaker 2>those moments of even when we think we're past something

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<v Speaker 2>good or bad, even if we're riding kind of the

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<v Speaker 2>emotional high of something that's recently happened, and you kind

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<v Speaker 2>of feel like, oh, I'm good, you know, because I'm good,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't have to do this, or because this is

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<v Speaker 2>you know, a great thing has happened to me, I

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<v Speaker 2>can kind of like I can coast a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Or you're holding on to something that happened where you're

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<v Speaker 2>just like you can't move on and you're stuck. I

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<v Speaker 2>think it's important to think about that reflect on those

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<v Speaker 2>things and and really consider not only like are you

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<v Speaker 2>moving past these situations? And if you're not, why are

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<v Speaker 2>you having a hard time moving past it? Who can

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<v Speaker 2>you talk to about it? What are the things that

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<v Speaker 2>you can really do to help yourself to to kind

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<v Speaker 2>of move beyond. And again, even if it's the good things,

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<v Speaker 2>I think that's probably where I'm just thinking to my

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<v Speaker 2>own head, Like where I probably get caught up sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>is like you've done some really good work or something

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<v Speaker 2>that's happened, and like, Yep, that's exactly how I wanted

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<v Speaker 2>it to play out, or that's exactly like we know

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<v Speaker 2>why we worked on that strategy, and it's like great,

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<v Speaker 2>that means we can conquer the world. That means that,

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<v Speaker 2>like you know, if we got that down, we don't

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<v Speaker 2>have to worry about the next one. And then the

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<v Speaker 2>next one happens, you're like, oh uh oh, Like it

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<v Speaker 2>didn't go how we wanted it to go right, And

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<v Speaker 2>it was because there was like this assumption that like

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<v Speaker 2>because this one was done correctly or that there was

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<v Speaker 2>some success here, that obviously it would just apply to

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<v Speaker 2>the next thing. And then you start to realize that

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<v Speaker 2>like it all requires follow up. It all requires validation.

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<v Speaker 2>It all requires to stay kind of committed to making

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<v Speaker 2>sure that things are happening in the way they're supposed.

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<v Speaker 1>To happen right for sure. For sure. This is something

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<v Speaker 1>that I think a lot of parents deal with when

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<v Speaker 1>it comes to two kids, because oftentimes the learning curve

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<v Speaker 1>when when you are young and doing something is really

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<v Speaker 1>you know, steep and quick, and so you you know,

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<v Speaker 1>each time that you do something where it be a

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<v Speaker 1>sport or riding a bike or whatever it is, the

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<v Speaker 1>second time is far better than the first, The third

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<v Speaker 1>time is far better than the second. Like, it takes

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<v Speaker 1>a while before you stop getting these major wins right

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<v Speaker 1>in a row, and you can start to think, oh

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<v Speaker 1>my gosh, every time I do this, I'm just gonna

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<v Speaker 1>be much better at it than I was the time before.

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<v Speaker 1>And eventually you plateau when you stop, and then that

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<v Speaker 1>becomes a a tough lesson that the kid has to

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<v Speaker 1>learn that. You know, it doesn't mean that every time

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<v Speaker 1>you're gonna win. Sometimes you're not gonna win. Sometimes you're

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<v Speaker 1>not gonna be better at it than you than you

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<v Speaker 1>were before. And and when it comes to you know,

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<v Speaker 1>kind of life lessons and the positive just like what

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<v Speaker 1>we were talking about. If you if you don't stop

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<v Speaker 1>to think to yourself that this is just a foregone conclusion,

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<v Speaker 1>that it will always happen the way that it's always happened,

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<v Speaker 1>then you're setting yourself up for kind of a big,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, psychological or emotional blow when it eventually does.

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<v Speaker 1>And and but it but it is a numbers game.

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<v Speaker 1>And so the more you do things, hopefully by the

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<v Speaker 1>time that you are far enough along in your career,

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<v Speaker 1>you've had enough successes and failures to where you've gotten

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<v Speaker 1>through them and then everything's fine. It's like the there's

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<v Speaker 1>the old movie trope of a of a person who

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<v Speaker 1>works for the same job from the time they, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>go to college to the time they're in their fifties

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<v Speaker 1>and they get laid off and they have they have

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<v Speaker 1>nothing else to do, and they have no no, no

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<v Speaker 1>job defined, and they can't they have no network they've

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<v Speaker 1>made over their years because they've only worked at the

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<v Speaker 1>same job the entire time. It's like, that's a very

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<v Speaker 1>real thing for some people. And the way to not

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<v Speaker 1>have that happen is to make sure that you are

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<v Speaker 1>growing your network and you're changing organizations and you are

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<v Speaker 1>putting yourself in positions where you have the strength of

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<v Speaker 1>mindset that can only be built by going through something

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<v Speaker 1>over and over and over again, both positive and negative,

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<v Speaker 1>so that you understand A you have the ability to

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<v Speaker 1>get through it, and B you have the network to

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<v Speaker 1>help you get through it. And if you have those

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<v Speaker 1>two things combined, this too Shall Pass can ring really strong.

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<v Speaker 1>If you don't have those two things, this too Shall

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<v Speaker 1>Pass can sound like bad advice from someone who doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>understand what you're going through. And so, but a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of it is really up to you to control and

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<v Speaker 1>to put yourself in the position to make.

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<v Speaker 2>Happen absolutely and with that it brings us to the

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<v Speaker 2>end of this episode. This is hacking your leadership. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>Lorenzo and I'm Chris, and we'll talk to you all

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<v Speaker 2>next time.