WEBVTT

1
00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:11.880
<v Speaker 1>It's the Lapsed Fan Wrestling Podcast with Jack and Carnasco

2
00:00:12.279 --> 00:00:13.359
<v Speaker 1>and JP Sorrow.

3
00:00:13.679 --> 00:00:19.079
<v Speaker 2>We've got an exciting Christmas program lined up for these folks.

4
00:00:19.120 --> 00:00:20.679
<v Speaker 3>We've been to a little boys that year.

5
00:00:20.719 --> 00:00:24.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. It's an artificial tree, so I did

6
00:00:25.079 --> 00:00:26.679
<v Speaker 1>artificial job at trimming time.

7
00:00:26.760 --> 00:00:28.760
<v Speaker 2>This is only exceeded by our inability to.

8
00:00:28.760 --> 00:00:33.359
<v Speaker 1>Adjust follow the third rangling here the Lapsed Fan.

9
00:00:33.960 --> 00:00:38.079
<v Speaker 2>Got a price for the million dollar man. Even Santa

10
00:00:38.159 --> 00:00:40.560
<v Speaker 2>Claus and so no say.

11
00:00:40.399 --> 00:00:41.079
<v Speaker 3>It's not so.

12
00:00:42.840 --> 00:00:50.320
<v Speaker 1>Start off, and I believe this is fine. This is

13
00:00:50.320 --> 00:00:51.280
<v Speaker 1>the third and final story.

14
00:00:51.320 --> 00:00:51.679
<v Speaker 3>Is that right?

15
00:00:51.719 --> 00:00:52.039
<v Speaker 1>Boss?

16
00:00:52.159 --> 00:00:52.640
<v Speaker 2>I think so.

17
00:00:54.159 --> 00:00:57.520
<v Speaker 1>Third and final story. And if you could uh do

18
00:00:57.679 --> 00:01:00.399
<v Speaker 1>us the honors? Read until the first line of dial there,

19
00:01:00.479 --> 00:01:12.000
<v Speaker 1>Miss Sorrow, Oh that means interior. You don't have to

20
00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:12.359
<v Speaker 1>read that.

21
00:01:12.359 --> 00:01:18.840
<v Speaker 3>Yet, Jack JP Podcast Studio of Night. The room is

22
00:01:18.959 --> 00:01:25.959
<v Speaker 3>dimly lit, adorned with Christmas lights. A chatter of sorry,

23
00:01:26.319 --> 00:01:31.400
<v Speaker 3>a cluver of the unwrapped gifts, sits scattered across the table.

24
00:01:31.959 --> 00:01:37.480
<v Speaker 3>There's a sense of excitement and uneasiness hanging in the air.

25
00:01:42.359 --> 00:01:45.079
<v Speaker 1>All right, let's kick this off. We have our fans.

26
00:01:45.239 --> 00:01:47.359
<v Speaker 1>What of our fans sent us this year? JP JP

27
00:01:47.480 --> 00:01:50.040
<v Speaker 1>size already dreading what's inside, He tears open the box,

28
00:01:50.079 --> 00:01:53.200
<v Speaker 1>revealing a life sized cardboard cutout of Jerry the King Lawla.

29
00:01:53.920 --> 00:01:56.959
<v Speaker 1>The cutout grins menacingly. JP's face contorts into a mix

30
00:01:56.959 --> 00:02:00.159
<v Speaker 1>of horror and rage. He freezes, Oh, man, what's wrong,

31
00:02:00.159 --> 00:02:03.000
<v Speaker 1>It's just a cardboard cutout, dude. JP's eyes dart around

32
00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:04.079
<v Speaker 1>the room, clearly in shock.

33
00:02:04.239 --> 00:02:06.760
<v Speaker 2>It's him, it's him, Jack.

34
00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:09.360
<v Speaker 1>He starts muttering under his breath, repeating over and over.

35
00:02:10.840 --> 00:02:14.800
<v Speaker 1>Jack looks concerned. Standing up, he approaches JP cautiously. JP. Okay, man,

36
00:02:14.840 --> 00:02:18.639
<v Speaker 1>step snap out of it. Suddenly the family feud theme begins, playing,

37
00:02:18.919 --> 00:02:22.159
<v Speaker 1>as if out of nowhere to hear it? But you

38
00:02:22.240 --> 00:02:25.439
<v Speaker 1>upbeat melody cuts through the tension. Jack blinks in confusion,

39
00:02:26.039 --> 00:02:28.840
<v Speaker 1>What what the hell? Who's playing that? JP doesn't respond,

40
00:02:28.879 --> 00:02:33.199
<v Speaker 1>His gaze is locked on the cutout, unblinking JP no doubt,

41
00:02:33.199 --> 00:02:36.479
<v Speaker 1>no doubt, his eyes wide, and JP, are you with me?

42
00:02:36.560 --> 00:02:39.120
<v Speaker 1>Can you hear me? JP tills his head, his expression blank,

43
00:02:39.199 --> 00:02:42.719
<v Speaker 1>his voice now lifeless, responds again only in soundboard clips,

44
00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:44.800
<v Speaker 1>tit tips or tis?

45
00:02:45.599 --> 00:02:45.800
<v Speaker 3>JP?

46
00:02:45.960 --> 00:02:48.599
<v Speaker 1>Please stop it. JP's voice continues, detached, just if he's

47
00:02:48.639 --> 00:02:52.120
<v Speaker 1>not even there? You're what the hell is happening? What's

48
00:02:52.159 --> 00:02:53.080
<v Speaker 1>going on in your head?

49
00:02:53.439 --> 00:02:55.360
<v Speaker 2>Wrestling fans have been tricked again.

50
00:02:55.479 --> 00:02:57.719
<v Speaker 1>Jack is pacing now, eyes wide and panic, trying to

51
00:02:57.719 --> 00:03:00.039
<v Speaker 1>make sense of this nightmare. Please, JP, come on, you

52
00:03:00.080 --> 00:03:04.879
<v Speaker 1>gotta snap out of it. Jack clutches his head in frustration,

53
00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:08.479
<v Speaker 1>nearly hyperventilating. JP snapped the hell out of it, Savio. Suddenly,

54
00:03:08.479 --> 00:03:11.080
<v Speaker 1>the Family Feud music starts to loop again, longer, louder,

55
00:03:11.240 --> 00:03:13.520
<v Speaker 1>until it feels like it's filling every corner of the room.

56
00:03:13.680 --> 00:03:16.199
<v Speaker 1>The ghostly laugh of John Spencer begins to echo through

57
00:03:16.280 --> 00:03:21.879
<v Speaker 1>his studio. Jack mccoyols, his body trembling. Can anybody help us?

58
00:03:21.919 --> 00:03:24.360
<v Speaker 1>What the hell is this? Just then, the Family Feud

59
00:03:24.400 --> 00:03:27.400
<v Speaker 1>being cuts out abruptly, the room grows colder. A shadow

60
00:03:27.439 --> 00:03:30.719
<v Speaker 1>looms in the doorway. Jack squints through the dim light.

61
00:03:31.120 --> 00:03:35.280
<v Speaker 1>A figure steps forward, Vince McMahon. The room goes silent.

62
00:03:35.520 --> 00:03:40.319
<v Speaker 1>Jack's heart skips a beat. Vince Vince walks into the room, confidently,

63
00:03:40.360 --> 00:03:43.919
<v Speaker 1>his presence overwhelming my little surprises on the trick. Jack

64
00:03:43.960 --> 00:03:47.560
<v Speaker 1>stumbles back, confused and terrified. Vince, what is this? Can

65
00:03:47.599 --> 00:03:50.680
<v Speaker 1>you help him? Vince smile widens sinister.

66
00:03:50.960 --> 00:03:54.199
<v Speaker 2>Help? No, Jack, I didn't come here to help. I

67
00:03:54.240 --> 00:03:58.199
<v Speaker 2>came here to settle things. For years, you've been exposing

68
00:03:58.199 --> 00:04:01.080
<v Speaker 2>the truth about me and my company, the company that

69
00:04:01.240 --> 00:04:04.280
<v Speaker 2>was stolen from me, and now it's time for you

70
00:04:04.800 --> 00:04:05.520
<v Speaker 2>to pay the price.

71
00:04:05.680 --> 00:04:09.280
<v Speaker 1>Jack's breathing quickens. What are you talking about? You sent

72
00:04:09.400 --> 00:04:10.759
<v Speaker 1>him that cutout?

73
00:04:10.919 --> 00:04:14.000
<v Speaker 2>Oh yes, that's the least of what I've done. But

74
00:04:14.039 --> 00:04:16.519
<v Speaker 2>here's the deal. I'll snap your friend out of it

75
00:04:17.240 --> 00:04:18.480
<v Speaker 2>on one condition.

76
00:04:18.759 --> 00:04:23.600
<v Speaker 1>Jack swallows hard, desperate, What do you want, Vince. Vince's

77
00:04:23.639 --> 00:04:25.160
<v Speaker 1>grin turns cold, calculating.

78
00:04:25.439 --> 00:04:28.680
<v Speaker 2>You'll use a lapse fan to sing my praises. You'll

79
00:04:28.800 --> 00:04:31.560
<v Speaker 2>rally your audience to support me. I'll be back in

80
00:04:31.680 --> 00:04:34.240
<v Speaker 2>charge of WWE, and you'll lead the charge.

81
00:04:34.319 --> 00:04:37.439
<v Speaker 1>Jack's face pales. You want me to do what you

82
00:04:37.519 --> 00:04:40.439
<v Speaker 1>earned me. Vince steps forward, his smile darkening.

83
00:04:40.879 --> 00:04:43.319
<v Speaker 2>You get Jack back, You get JP back to normal,

84
00:04:43.519 --> 00:04:45.600
<v Speaker 2>and I get what's rightfully mine.

85
00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:50.959
<v Speaker 1>Jack's eyes flicker toward JP, who remains unresponsive. Jack's mind races, Please, Vince,

86
00:04:51.079 --> 00:04:53.519
<v Speaker 1>just help him. He's not well. Vince looks at JP

87
00:04:53.600 --> 00:04:55.759
<v Speaker 1>with a mix of disgust and amusement. He reaches out

88
00:04:55.759 --> 00:04:59.639
<v Speaker 1>and grabs Jack's hand, squeezing it tightly. Due Jack as

89
00:04:59.720 --> 00:05:03.439
<v Speaker 1>Vince script titens. Jack's hand burns like fire. He gasps

90
00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:07.560
<v Speaker 1>in pain, his body convulsing under the heat. Okay, okay, deal.

91
00:05:08.079 --> 00:05:10.399
<v Speaker 1>Vince let's out a low chuckle, letting go of Jack's hand.

92
00:05:10.639 --> 00:05:13.639
<v Speaker 1>Jack clutches it, breathing heavily, still reeling from the steering pain.

93
00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:15.519
<v Speaker 1>Vince's eyes flicker toward JP.

94
00:05:16.160 --> 00:05:17.079
<v Speaker 2>Don to wake up.

95
00:05:17.240 --> 00:05:20.560
<v Speaker 1>Without hesitation, Vince slaps JP across the face hard. The

96
00:05:20.600 --> 00:05:24.600
<v Speaker 1>sound echoes. JP gasps his eyes fly open, blinking wildly.

97
00:05:29.839 --> 00:05:30.920
<v Speaker 2>What the hell happened?

98
00:05:31.000 --> 00:05:32.959
<v Speaker 1>Vince leans over him, grinning menacingly.

99
00:05:33.279 --> 00:05:35.720
<v Speaker 2>Let's just say your college podcast is about to become

100
00:05:35.800 --> 00:05:38.720
<v Speaker 2>the worldwide leader in sports entertainment.

101
00:05:38.839 --> 00:05:42.879
<v Speaker 1>Jack and JP exchange terrified glances were screwed. Vince's laugh

102
00:05:42.959 --> 00:05:47.079
<v Speaker 1>fills the room. It's dark, triumphant, you bet you are.

103
00:05:47.319 --> 00:05:50.680
<v Speaker 1>Vince continues to laugh. Jack and JP sit in sun stilence,

104
00:05:50.959 --> 00:05:54.079
<v Speaker 1>realizing that their lives and their podcast are about to

105
00:05:54.160 --> 00:06:01.680
<v Speaker 1>change forever. Thanks Cliff, that's wild fucking hilarious. There is

106
00:06:01.720 --> 00:06:02.199
<v Speaker 1>a succeeding.

107
00:06:02.240 --> 00:06:05.879
<v Speaker 2>Preceeding plays a production of the LAPS Entertainment Group. Its

108
00:06:05.920 --> 00:06:13.319
<v Speaker 2>content is intended for private use only. We want s