Speaker 1: Good morning from hell. I'm Chris and I'm dead, and
my eternal punishment is to do this podcast where we
interview everyone any afterlife. And I'm joined by uh, guys, guys.
Speaker 2: Things are bad, Chris, things are really bad. Go get
your mattress. My mattress, new mattress. I just bought you.
Speaker 1: Okay. Yeah. This is Clayton. He's the younger brother of Satan.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I got this. Go get the mattress. It's me,
It's Clayton and the younger brother of Satan. Oh god, oh, Chris,
and I run this podcast and it's about to get
shut down.
Speaker 1: What we're over, Chris, it's over. Did you get the mattress? Yeah,
that's right here. Why do you need a mattress of needles?
Speaker 2: Ah, I'm not stabbing you, you know, I'll stab you
a couple of times.
Speaker 1: I gotta get inside your mattress. That's where I hide
all the money. LI to the needles. There's money there,
cameld on.
Speaker 2: Hold on for the five, carry the three thousand, carry
the two.
Speaker 1: We got two dollars and fifteen cents. Chris. It's not
enough money, and it's not enough money. What do we
need money for? It's it's bad, Chris, it's real bad.
Speaker 2: I owe money to the most evil person in Hell.
Oh my, hen we're not getting out of this one.
Speaker 1: Oh man, is it your brother? You owe money to
your brother? It's family. No, no, Chris, it's worse. It's
Dick Cheney, the vice president of Hell. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2: Ever since he got down here last November. Yeah, so
he's been shaking things up, and I owe him a
lot of money. Okay, well, what did you promise him?
I promise him. Don't freak out.
Speaker 1: Huh.
Speaker 2: I promised him six six hundred and sixty six bitcoin.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I don't even know how much. Hold on,
how much is that any that's a lot sixty six
six six big coin conversion dollars. Well, we'll see whether
it's worth at right now?
Speaker 2: Is one bitcoin worth sixty eight thousand dollars?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Currently it's pretty low right now? Oh my god,
look at all the numbers.
Speaker 2: I can't even four, five, nine, three six one whatever
that is in billions.
Speaker 1: Surely this is actually good because bitcoins are pretty low
right now. It could be worse. It could be worse,
but it's still pretty bad. Chris.
Speaker 2: What is the deadline for this tomorrow morning, Chris.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, it's real bad, Chris. Okay, all right,
maybe we set up like a bunch of servers and
we like mine. Do you know a needy miners?
Speaker 2: I don't want to get on the Epstein list. Okay,
so we can't do the miner's room. Okay, all right, listen.
I did buy a bunch of these gold coins, but
they're the chocolates.
Speaker 1: They're melting out. It looks like I just have shit
and foil all over my hands.
Speaker 2: Chris, you do we got to turn these shitty shitty
chocolate coins into bitcoin into bitcoin.
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do.
Speaker 2: Oh hello, god, my god, whoa how did you get
in here?
Speaker 1: Who is this guy? I don't know who are you?
Speaker 3: I just walked to the door, dear friend.
Speaker 1: No, I've never seen this man in my life.
Speaker 3: Someone left the door wide open in some kind of
terrible rush.
Speaker 1: Oh oh yeah, sorry, you snuck up on us there.
Speaker 2: Normally when we have a guest on our show, I
bring them in via teleporter.
Speaker 1: You just waltz right in.
Speaker 3: Oh I didn't know you were doing this show.
Speaker 4: I just saw a big sad deepon crying his little
eyes out. I thought, hey, maybe I can help. Oh,
you got a problem.
Speaker 3: I could help with?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean big cry. Chris is the one
that's crying. I'm not crying, but I am the big
bad demons. I'm not crying. I'm not crying.
Speaker 1: Oh what at all? Okay?
Speaker 2: Well all right, basically, whatever your name is, mystery man,
we owed Dick Cheney six six hundred and sixty six bitcoin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we need it now, and all I have is
these melted chocolates.
Speaker 3: Interesting. Well, i'll tell you what. I happen to have
a little secret. Okay, I can.
Speaker 4: Turn big piles of human shit and foil Oh no chocolate.
Oh sorry, I can't tell.
Speaker 1: I think it might be mixed with the two. I
don't know. Calm A, calm b.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can turn this into bitcoin for you.
Speaker 1: Okay, great, phenomenal.
Speaker 4: Oh I got a little trick here. I've been working
on it for a while. I've had time on my hands.
Speaker 3: But why don't you give me?
Speaker 1: Why'd you say it like that? Why are you saying
it like that? Your breath? Oh my god, what do
you mean?
Speaker 3: It's how you make deals.
Speaker 4: Maybe you're not used to it, but you really got
to get in there. So let me just climb up here,
right up right up to your shoulder.
Speaker 3: Okay, what'll you give me?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: Okay, all right again, dry your eyes? Demon? What do
you give me?
Speaker 1: My god? Now we're crying. But because the onion breath,
it's just so strong.
Speaker 3: Someone else had me turn some gold into onions for them,
but now I'm done with that.
Speaker 1: Oh why would someone do that? Yeah, that's a weird
trade off.
Speaker 4: They had probaised somebody else a big truckload of onions
and all they had was six hundred and sixty six
thousand bitcoins.
Speaker 3: So I touched each onions for them. Oh, they were
very grateful.
Speaker 1: So specific.
Speaker 2: It's strange and relevant to our situation, but also stupid. Really,
you should have talked to each other. But you're right,
I'm the middleman here and I'm benefiting. Okay, one more time,
what do'll you give me?
Speaker 1: Okay? All right, or we have to offer chrys. Look around?
What do you want? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Is there anything specific that you're looking for? Yeah, Pokemon
card trade or something.
Speaker 3: Or a pocon cod trade. Now interesting.
Speaker 4: You could give me The first shiny is a hud
that you find anywhere.
Speaker 3: In hell Okay, okay, you don't need to give it
to me right now. I don't imagine you have one,
but one day you will. And when that day comes,
oh oh god, you have to give it to me.
Speaker 1: Okay, he's so close to me. You're really into Pokemon,
I guess. Yeah, do you like Pokemon? I mean, is
this like a thing of yours?
Speaker 3: Or no?
Speaker 4: I'm not a nut. Okay, but that's money to be made. Okay,
all right, you know the kind of money people are
gonna pay for a first edition shiny chars out.
Speaker 1: A lot less than they pay for six thousand.
Speaker 3: Like fifty thousand dollars.
Speaker 2: Still the conversion, that's less than one bitcoin.
Speaker 4: Yeah, man, I don't need bitcoin. I can make bitcoin
out of foil and shit. I can't make Pokemon cuts.
Speaker 2: So if you can make bitcoin out of foil and shit,
then why don't you just do that and get like
all of the chars are Wait wait.
Speaker 1: Wait, oh oh oh, we don't want to get okay, wink,
all right, you drive a hard bargain.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, we will get you this chars art and
I know exactly how oh wonderful.
Speaker 1: Yes, if you can get us this bitcoin?
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, oh that's easy. I'll set it up right now.
Take this. You know podcasting, you run into a computer.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, yeah, that's fine, Yeah, go ahead, Yeah, I'll
take that.
Speaker 3: I'm a little guy. The computer towele is very big,
full of me.
Speaker 1: Yeah. For people listening, this is a shiny, tiny little man. Yeah,
like coiny shoes.
Speaker 3: Get these going.
Speaker 2: Weird hats, got like a bell at the end of it,
greenish skin.
Speaker 1: He's just typing.
Speaker 2: But while he's typing, he's saying tappity tap tip type.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Hey, don't look a gift tots in the mouth here.
Speaker 2: You're right, sorry, sir? All right, so what are you
doing right now? What are you doing?
Speaker 1: Are you hacking?
Speaker 4: I'm doing something a little secret. Oh okay, I can
tell you how I do it.
Speaker 1: Okay, but what will you give me? He keeps wunning bargains.
Speaker 2: Chris again, what do you want? Yeah, you can name
the price, name my prize.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Have you ever heard of the blue eyes white Dragon.
That's not a Pokemon this, no, no, it's a Ugyo card.
Speaker 1: You see u Yo card? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, they're.
Speaker 3: Worth at least twelve thousand dollars in the open market.
Speaker 4: Okay, one day you might find one falling into your possession,
And on that day I will come and I will
call on you, and I will say, you owe me
one blue eyes, and I will take it from you,
and you will give it to me.
Speaker 3: You'll give it to me gladly. I know how much
you will love your blue eyes. You will say, I
can see myself in this blue eyes. It's just like me,
and I love it so much. But you will give
it to me. You'll give me that blue eyes, White Dragon.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, yeah, so we got one charizard for six thousand,
six hundred sixty six bit coin. Yes, we've got one
buoys dragon for the methods to make six thousand, six
hundred and sixty six pin coin.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, and that's good for you.
Speaker 3: It seems better me.
Speaker 1: You just want the two cards.
Speaker 3: Yes, a deal. It seems too easy, doesn't it so
simple to give away these future gifts that may arrive
for you? But one day you will rue this decision
when you see that blue eyes shining in your hands. Okay,
ready to be summoned, perhaps polymerized into the blue eyes
older my dragon. But you you'll never get to see
such a beautiful creature. Graze the field of battle, for
I will have your blue eyes okay, and your jar
is are and they will kiss. They will kiss in
my hands.
Speaker 2: Well, don't do that because you might wrinkle them and
it'll cause them damage. That's reducing the value of both cards.
Speaker 3: Oh that's fine. You can keep them unwrinkled when they're
in your possession. But when they belong to me, mister
a secret man, well then I'm real to do whatever
I want with them. I make them kiss, so maybe
I'll tear them in half and blue them back together,
but it'll remind to do.
Speaker 1: So.
Speaker 2: You're gonna take these really valuable cards and you're gonna
just damage them?
Speaker 3: Yes, and do you want to know how to make
bitcoin on that?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I want that, yes, yes, yeah, yeah, sure,
go ahead, show us houth dow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 4: I just went to www. Dot freepitcoin dot com. Slash
give me the bitcoin I want it now, slash question
mark HPP two one, seven.
Speaker 3: Three eight. Okay, you hit that button. You see it
right there. It sometimes doesn't say enter. It just has
a little arrow going backwards and arcade and symbol that
lets you get further into the deep web. Oh, I
press it. I press it here with my finger. It
sounds like this, and then okay, and then the money
just comes rolling in. The bitcoin comes free off the internet.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right.
Speaker 2: I mean it does seem to be working. Yeah, is
it working because no, hold on, I got a text. Yep, No,
it's in my bank account.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's how you get there.
Speaker 2: Okay, audience members. I wouldn't advise doing this. I don't
know if this is gonna work.
Speaker 3: These fools through. No, the url changes every day. Every
day there's a new URL. They'll never find the next one.
But don't tell them, listeners, listeners at home, don't tell
these fools about the changing URLs.
Speaker 2: You're whispering this into my ear. You're not even talking
into the microphone in front of you. You're talking into
my microphone.
Speaker 1: What okay? All right, we got the bitcoin?
Speaker 4: How don't anybody over here the plans of me mister
rum Rum, mister.
Speaker 1: Rum, mister Rum.
Speaker 3: Oh, I done it again. I've said my plans out loud.
Speaker 2: Okay, No, it's cool, man, I go I we know
your name, mister mister rum, mister rum, mister Rum.
Speaker 3: That's all it is. There's no further all right.
Speaker 2: All right, we need to be like weird about it.
We got a bitcoin and you just need those two cards.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: I'll see you again one day when you have the
greatest treasures of mankind in your hands. Thinking I can
use these, I can put these upon my summoning field.
Maybe I'll equip my blue eyes with some kind of
ulicorn horn. But you won't be able to arrive. Will arrive,
and I will take it from your hands. Okay, your
red clawed hands. All right, by until then, see you later.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, I'm off and he's gone.
Speaker 1: Cool.
Speaker 2: That was That's the easiest money I've ever made in
my life. That was the best investment we could have made.
I mean, save that you are up. Even though it changes,
you know, you never know, it could cycle back. We
could call that guy back in to make those cards.
Speaker 1: Do you think that? But then I guess we're gonna
be in another trade situation, right, yeah, I kind of
want to avoid him.
Speaker 2: Well, wait, you were a nerd back on Earth. You
probably have cards, right? Do you think your mom held
on to them?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: When I get to see my what's it worth to you?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 1: I see why this guy likes it. This is fun.
Speaker 2: Sure, we can pop up to Earth, grab your cards,
bring him back, give him to mister Rum.
Speaker 1: I did to collect you, Gail and Pokemon.
Speaker 2: So okay, so we'll just pop up into where do
you think your mom kept it?
Speaker 1: Do you think she put it in your casket with you?
Why would she do that? Because you were a nerd
it was super precious to you. I don't know. I'm
sure she kept my room exactly like it was. Okay,
let's find out. Let's teleport to your room.
Speaker 2: Actually, do you want to just invite mister Rum along
because he seems like actually that she'll hang mister Rum.
Speaker 1: Mister Rum, where are you?
Speaker 3: Who the hell's mister Rum? Oh? Me? Yes?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's my name, my full name, and nothing else.
I'd happily go.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, so we're gonna pop in.
Speaker 2: Chris claims that his room is gonna be the exact
same way that his mom left it.
Speaker 1: We're gonna pop up there, grab you your cards in
then ay, we're done. We don't need the deal anymore.
How's that sound? I like it?
Speaker 3: I got buy things. This works great.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's uh type in the cord. It's here, and
we'll teleport. I'm a mom.
Speaker 3: No, you shut up.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, looking around, I don't think that this
is Chris's room. Either they sold the house or they
definitely converted this into a half guest room slash fitness room.
Speaker 1: But nothing of what Chris owned is in this room
any longer.
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, looking at your body, you don't
look like the kind of person who slept on a
bench press.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, he definitely didn't.
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, Chris, mister rum is gonna let you go,
but you need to not scream for your mommy.
Speaker 3: Now, I'll let you go. But what do you give me? So?
Did I hear second born child?
Speaker 2: It's a catch twenty two because you're gonna have to
let him go to hear what he has to trade.
Speaker 4: But that is the deal, is to let him go. Okay,
I let half of your mouth go. What did you
give me for the other half?
Speaker 3: What do you give me?
Speaker 1: Mom?
Speaker 3: Close back up? Now we have a witness here. I
get his firstborn mother.
Speaker 1: He did say mom.
Speaker 3: He did say mom. I get his mom?
Speaker 1: Right, he said, mom?
Speaker 3: You were at his mom?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you asks the question, what do I gave me
with that? You responded, Mom.
Speaker 4: I have a witness if you can sign right here
on my arm. I can't lift my hands away. Just
signed this witness to the deal. All right, Chris, all right, wonderful.
I get your mother. There you go. You're free, Mom, No,
please call her in where my pokemonut cards.
Speaker 2: Well, Chris's mom might not be here, but you know
who is always there for us.
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com code GMFH. This episode of Good Morning from Hell
is brought to you by your friends over at hero Forge.
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So he's got his classics suit jacket, top hat, redskin,
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Speaker 1: Thank you so much, hero Forge.
Speaker 2: Well, Chris, I'm gonna go check herund the house you
talked to mister rum here for a second.
Speaker 1: Hold on, I'll be right back.
Speaker 3: Why do you want my mom? No reason? Really, you
might come in useful. She have any special skills?
Speaker 1: Uh? No, she's an elementary school teacher, special education.
Speaker 3: You seem to be broken up about this. Do you
do not want to give me your mother?
Speaker 1: No, I've had stepfathers before and it didn't count.
Speaker 3: That's not the situation. She would purely be an employee.
What do you want an employer for oh, bits and bumps,
this and that, bits and bumps.
Speaker 4: Look, you're the one who came up with a deal.
I didn't ask for your mother, but you put her
on the table.
Speaker 1: But why are you gonna make her make chocolate coins
into bitcoins? Were you?
Speaker 3: Or? Like?
Speaker 1: What's you're in game? What do you want?
Speaker 4: Those URLs are hot to find. I have to try
random letters every time. She could get on that. Okay,
what's the words permitted?
Speaker 3: Not mine?
Speaker 1: She types with one finger.
Speaker 3: She's like, hey, hey, a boomer, are you okay?
Speaker 1: I'm not ready for a new step dad. Right, Hey, guys,
I'm back.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you guys are done negotiating the
terms of Chris's mom becoming your sex slave or whatever.
Mister rum But I did find the cards though, who
Actually we got here right in time. It was in
a pile of trash. It appears that Chris's mom is
doing a remodel of her home and was throwing away
all of his old shit. So glad we came here
when we did. And also, your mom is not here.
She let the note on the counter, saying.
Speaker 1: Off with Dave be back in two weeks. So I
don't know who Dave is. I don't know why she's
leaving this note.
Speaker 3: Yeah, who's Daven? His note for her dead son?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Who's it for? I don't know. Do you have
a dog. Maybe it's like the dog sitter. That makes
sense to be my younger brother. Was he silivire with
your mom? I hope not.
Speaker 2: Either way, she's off with David. It sounds like she's
getting her brain's blown out by Dave. So she's getting
murdered by Dave. No, no, no, no, like a demon's
do it differently? Yeah, yeah, running it back, mister rum blows.
I try in first sedution, Charzard, those are yours?
Speaker 1: Would you take a chancey?
Speaker 3: I know you'll try to give me these cuts. Yeah,
but I can see you face how much you love them.
You look at that blue eyes.
Speaker 4: You look at its strange domed head, it's long, sinuous neck,
it's weird little wings that could never support its body
in natural flight. I understand your love for it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, listen, are you talking to me or you're
talking to Chris, because I.
Speaker 3: Have no cel your eyes, Clayton.
Speaker 5: I mean, I'm just I can see how much you
love these gods are beautiful the charge. Yeah no, with
this long, sinuous neck and his wings that couldn't support
it a natural flight so much, but less of a
domed head.
Speaker 3: Yeah, listen, I'm not a bad guy. Okay, I'm just
a little guy. Little rum Rum that was my full name.
I'll tell you what. Keep the cards for now, I'll
come back. Okay, huh, and I'll take them from you. Okay,
unless you can tell me my real name. Oh so
it's not mister, I've tricked you with a clever rules.
Speaker 2: But if you can tell me right now, I'm up
six sixty six bitcoin plus two rare cards.
Speaker 3: You don't need to put on a brave face. Understand
how hard it is for you to part with these cards.
Look at them, the.
Speaker 1: Beautiful I'm unfazed by this transaction.
Speaker 3: Have you seen them art at the back of the card.
It's like a cool little vortex of gold and brown black.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, they're very cool.
Speaker 2: But as far as the trajectory of this episode has gone,
I'm in a much better place than I was at
the beginning of the episode.
Speaker 1: So like, I'm cool, dude, Like we're good.
Speaker 3: I understand why you think. Yeah, listen, I will take them.
Speaker 4: Okay, unless you can guess my secret name or your secret.
Speaker 3: Name, my secret secret name. Okay, I will be back,
okay in well, i'd say three days, but all right,
I've got some things going on. I've got a new
mother to take care of.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe i'll give you like twenty minutes.
Speaker 4: I'll be back in twenty okay, all right, yeah cool, Yeah,
let me just take a walk around the block or something.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, Chris, is there any local places
near your mom's house that you'd recommend for mister Rummer
or whatever his name is.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh man. Our families always get
to a small local they had the best cheesecake. It's cheesecake.
It's a whole factory. There's so many different options there too,
if you want to check out. It's just like two
blocks north. Yeah, it's the suburbs, and it's cheap and
chips for me.
Speaker 3: Because I'm only the size of a cheesecake.
Speaker 1: It's sure you are.
Speaker 2: It's an oddly shaped cheesecake. But yeah, I guess that
is an accurate description.
Speaker 4: Sure, I'm the exact size of a cheesecake shaped like
a tiny man.
Speaker 1: Look at you.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'll see you soon. I just wanted to give
you a sporting chance.
Speaker 3: You'll never do it. You'll never guess my secret name.
No one ever could. Okay, I'll see you soon.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, all right, can you pick me up?
Speaker 3: Like? Yeah, what do you want?
Speaker 1: Actually? Never mind?
Speaker 2: Oh no, no please, you're gonna say no.
Speaker 3: No, no, no. I wouldn't sully a cheesecake with that
kind of deal making.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you.
Speaker 2: Want to give me a slice of the Oreo cheesecake,
I wouldn't object.
Speaker 3: No worries, no worries, really really fretted.
Speaker 1: Okay, this is the part where you come up really
close to my face.
Speaker 3: Is worth you? No? No, no, I wouldn't dream of it.
I wouldn't dream of it. Of course. What about you?
You want to think?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I guess if you're offering take maybe some
like chicken sliders, and what is that the marble cheese
cake where it's like different colors? Oh yeah, oh of
course no, no, the raspberry, the raspberry. Do you need
to write this down?
Speaker 3: No, that's okay. Chicken slid is in a rosbuck. Yeah,
just with that cheesecake, Chris, Just one little question, why
do you give me for it.
Speaker 1: Oh god, he got you, Chris, What do you want?
Speaker 3: What do you have to offer?
Speaker 1: It's just chicken slaced, you know what. Don't worry about it. No, no, no, no,
I'm hungry.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, I'm pulling it up on the Uber
eats like we could order it, probably faster than you
could get here. And it's only twelve bucks, so like
I couldn't do that. I mean, we could give you
twelve bucks.
Speaker 3: Stupid Robin, push your luck. You said there making deals.
Speaker 1: There's no steakes.
Speaker 3: You're an idiot, idiot.
Speaker 1: He's talking to himself.
Speaker 3: All right, I'll see Leida.
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, don't you fail, or I'll take both cards.
Speaker 3: See Leida.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right. That guy's insane.
Speaker 2: Is the horse negotiator man I've never ever seen in history.
Speaker 1: He's terrible of this.
Speaker 2: We're making billions, trillions of dollars. We got your cards back,
We got a visit to your house.
Speaker 1: I got a new dad. Yeah, sure, you got a
new dat out of it. We're getting free lunch.
Speaker 3: It's awesome.
Speaker 1: What was his fucking name, mister rum rumpel Stiltskin. He
said it aloud.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, I heard him talking. He said, don't blow it,
mister rumple Stiltskin, don't blow it. He said it four
or five times. Yeah, but I wasn't sure. I didn't
think that that was his name. I mean, maybe it's not.
Speaker 1: He's in say I feel bad to take advantage of
the mentally, maybe this is forty chests. Maybe he's throwing
us off.
Speaker 2: He's set up mister Rum as a red herring, and
then rumpel Stiltskin is like, not actually his name, and
he's just like trying to trick us.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe worst case scenario, we lose cut.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and your mom, who you haven't seen since you
died six years ago.
Speaker 1: So yeah, okay. Do you think he's gonna get my
cheesecake or not? It was unclear on where we left at.
I think I'm getting my Oreo cheesecake.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure about the marble cheesecake and the chicken
sliders for you though. But hey, it's been a day again.
We're gonna be able to pay off Dick Cheney. So
you know what cheesecake factory on me. He doesn't bring
it back, we'll make a stop at the end of
the episode.
Speaker 1: It's cool man, yeah, we're waiting on our cheesecake. You
want to do our roast or we make fun of
people who support us on Patreon. This sounds good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So for listeners at home, we are a small
business and if you want to support us, you can
go to good Morning from hell dot com. It's our
Patreon and some of the perks include some fun additional
content behind the paywall.
Speaker 1: But also you can submit your name to get roasted,
so we can do that. That's fun. Yeah, all right,
so this first one is from Sybil.
Speaker 3: So, uh, I'm back.
Speaker 1: Oh hey, hey, did you bring our cheesecake?
Speaker 3: Here's an Areo cheesecake and nothing more.
Speaker 1: Yes, wow, he brought a whole Oreo cheesecake. That's enough
for everyone. Yeah. I only asked for one slice, but
I'll take.
Speaker 2: The old an thing. That's great, man, it's fun. Did
you get the chicken sliders and the marble thing? No, Chris, No,
that deal is off the table.
Speaker 3: This one is easy.
Speaker 1: Chris. You can have some of my Oreo stuff. But
I'm glad that you're back.
Speaker 2: Mister Rump, mister rum, Yes, I don't know your name,
but uh, we're roasting our audience members. You want to
join in on this.
Speaker 3: I can join. It'd be lots of fun. Okay, well
do you give me for it?
Speaker 1: Oh? God, damn it. Well, uh, we give you a
free Paige Trim membership.
Speaker 3: I love it. Okay, let's do it.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's six dollars to sixty six cents. That's it.
Speaker 4: I'll sign up now, I'll just put my Wait a minute,
I'll put a fake name here. Oh, I see you're
trying to get weak late, trying to get it and
signed up with my real great name.
Speaker 3: Let me get rid of that.
Speaker 1: What's your fake name?
Speaker 6: I'll put down, Oh, mister deal maker for twenty and wow, hahaha.
Isn't there, by the way, we actually already have a
deal maker for twenty support this?
Speaker 3: Okay, hold on, it's a little EX. That a big X.
That a little X, that mister.
Speaker 1: Deal maker for twenty Okay, that'll work.
Speaker 2: Yeah, little X, big EX, little X. Okay, I mean
all right, great, Okay. So this is from Sybil. Sybil
says I am a married mother of three grown kids
going back to college. Wait, are the three grown kids
going to college or Sibyl.
Speaker 1: Going to call? Are you going to college with the kids?
Are you all going to.
Speaker 3: Is clarity, Sybil, you're idiots.
Speaker 1: Mister from water.
Speaker 3: Cannot have big you a sentence, dummy.
Speaker 2: As far as what Sybil does for a living, they
say they're is stay at home mom slash full time
college student double majoring in forensics and biology on the
esports team, and then wait in parentheses video games on
the esports team. To recap, she is actually the one
going to college with her kids.
Speaker 1: She's going to college with the kids.
Speaker 2: She's majoring in forensics and biology, and she is also
on the e sports team.
Speaker 1: So dang, she's got a lot going on.
Speaker 2: Is she trying to be like the lady from CSI
in cis.
Speaker 1: CSI Doda got her CSI League of Letgonds.
Speaker 2: And then as far as embarrassing stories in or confessions,
after nearly cutting off my finger, I walked out of
the er and face first into.
Speaker 1: A poll fucked my shoulder up. Lol, that is great, Sybil.
Speaker 3: Hey, Sybil, I smashed up a piece of you, and
then I also smashed up a piece of a big
clumsy idiot, and I put them both in the refractive
index TESTA and I pulled it up.
Speaker 4: Couldn't be distinguished couldn't distinguish between the two samples.
Speaker 3: Sybil.
Speaker 2: Sybil would understand that joke if she wasn't failing her
forensics test because she's too many godamn video games in
the computer lab.
Speaker 1: Oh, Sybil, Hey, good luck in college.
Speaker 2: Got to support our moms who are supporting our show.
The next one is Tasha. Tasha is an aspiring writer
from Liverpool, England, home of the Beatles before they went
to Hell, and frankly, I'm jealous of the upgrade. I
like animals, video games, puzzles and horror movies or claim
to fame as being from Liverpool.
Speaker 1: Have you guys ever been a Liverpool No?
Speaker 3: I did. Once. There were four men and I gave
the musical talent and what did they give me? What
did they give you? Nothing? And I learned my lesson,
so now I always ask what people will give me.
Speaker 2: Oh so now we know the meteoric rise to fame
from the Beatles, we have you to think, yeah, okay, interesting.
Speaker 3: I really wanted some stuff, but I forgot to ask.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want to go to a place A
that's in England, but B that's named after something that
I would make Chris soak his feet in a Liverpool.
This is just kind of a knock on the whole city.
I don't know as far as what they do for
a living. Tasha works in payroll salaries for people earning
far more than me. Damn, you're rustling your Satasha. You're
doing our job for us, girl. And then for an
embarrassing story, Tasha says, when I was thirteen, I used
to record videos of me singing on my laptop. Oh god,
oh this is already so rough to listen, okay, so
I could listen to them afterwards to see if I
was any good.
Speaker 1: I was not. One family movie night, my laptop was.
Speaker 2: Plugged into the TV and my mom found the videos,
all seven of them. Instead of watching the movie, she
played my performances back to back. This was in front
of extended family and I still cringe about this to
this day. Oh my shoulders are in my ears. I'm cringingsha.
There's nothing left to do. That's brutal. I'd change my
last name and leave Liverpool. I would never go back.
That's horrifying. What about you, mister? Anything else to say, Natasha?
Speaker 3: Ah?
Speaker 4: Uh, Scouts people don't know how to speak English properly.
Speaker 3: Gotcha, little Puddley, get out of here. That's not how
you pronounce the letter K.
Speaker 1: Got it. You gotta all right take that, Tasha.
Speaker 3: What are you saying? Chi? That's ridiculous.
Speaker 2: Is that how they actually talk in Liverpool? I don't
recall the Beatles sounding like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, never pin they say ch with the idiots. Yeah,
fuck you, Liverpool, get.
Speaker 3: A better demonym, live Apudlian.
Speaker 1: Anyways.
Speaker 2: Okay, thanks for writing in, and once again, if you
want to get yourself roasted, then you can just sign
up for the Patreon over it. It's good morning from
hell dot com. All right, we got my cheesecake, We
got the cards. You're taking Chris's mom after Dave is
done with her.
Speaker 4: I'm taking the mom regardless, that's already done. Okay, but
you just really seem to attach to those cards. So
I'll give you this one chance. I'm ready to take
them from your hands unless you can tell.
Speaker 3: Me what's my name?
Speaker 1: Actually, I dropped the cards somewhere. Let me find those
really quick.
Speaker 3: Sorry, These idiots will never guess my name. Listeners, they're fools, dummies.
They haven't been paying attention to the subtle clues that
I've surrounded them with these fools hoisted by the petad
of their own ignorance, their self assurance to never listen
to anybody say their name. But if you'd paid attention
listeners at home, you've heard the small times where I've
let it slip unbeknownst to these two fools.
Speaker 6: So caught up in their egos, so caught up in themselves,
they'll never know.
Speaker 3: Now these cards will be mine.
Speaker 1: Go ahead, what's the petard. I've never heard of that before.
I don't think that's copasatic to say anymore.
Speaker 3: Oh, no, it's fine.
Speaker 1: I don't think you could say that.
Speaker 3: Patad was a big explosive barrel that some people used
to take and they blue stuff up with it as sabotours,
and then they blow themselves up, hence being hoisted by
their own patad. This is a true fact from Rumpelstiltsk.
I dog wait by a man, by a secret man.
Don't marry. They hate trivia. They didn't listen at all.
They zoned out whenever I said true fact. So anyway,
what's my name?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I do want to point out
you were very insulting. Just then we'll let It's like
what is you did help me pay off my debts
to Dick Cheney?
Speaker 1: Chris?
Speaker 2: Is there any of the actually hold on, mister rubble
rum Chris, Chris? Is there any thing else we want
to get from this guy? The episode's coming to an end.
We clearly know his name. Is there any other deals?
Speaker 1: Geez? I mean, let's get his firstborn kid. You want
to take his firstborn kid. I don't know why.
Speaker 2: It just seems like it's an odd request, but it's
a fun one and we are from hell.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what the fuck?
Speaker 2: Okay, mister guy, mister cheesecake sized man, Yes, we have
another deal for you, if you're open to negotiating.
Speaker 3: I'm always open for a deal.
Speaker 2: Okay, to sweeten the deal, if we guess your name,
which will never guess, never guess.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we want your firstborn child.
Speaker 3: Hmmm. On the one hand, I've already got everything I
want and I could have just taken it in the
first place, and this deal is irrelevant.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But on the other hand, I do love deals. I'll
do it.
Speaker 2: Okay, you love deals, but you clearly don't love your
firstborn child.
Speaker 1: Your name is Bob No, sorry, just came out. That
was his guess. It's a really common name.
Speaker 3: It's a very common name. But don't work.
Speaker 1: It wasn't bub.
Speaker 2: I'll give you one more guess. Okay, all right, now,
this is a hard one. You're really inking her chain here. Okay,
you'll never get it, but I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 3: It's you'll never get it.
Speaker 1: Okay, rumble stilts Kid. Sorry, did you? Did you hear me?
I said? Rumpel still skin? How did you know? I mean,
who told you you did?
Speaker 3: How did anybody know? It's such a stupid name. You've
never heard of anybody with this name. No one's got
this name. That's why I have this name.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: People keep calling me Bob, people keep calling me John.
Speaker 1: Have you ever gotten Ruppel Forrestkin? Just like curiosity once?
Because there's a cannie resion.
Speaker 3: Hard Well, I guess you get to keep the cord. Okay,
you get to keep the other card.
Speaker 4: Cool, And in nine months time, I guess you're gonna
look after Chris's new brother.
Speaker 2: Oh, see you later, all right, buy Rumble sells kin?
Speaker 1: Do you later? Wow, it wasn't bad, Chris, there's no negative.
I guess I get a new brother, which I'll get
to see family again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, will he be a half brother, and he's gonna
be like our permanent intern below you.
Speaker 1: And I hope he doesn't look like that. I definitely
gonna be uncircumstances.
Speaker 2: You know, there's a chance he might be Dave's, but
you know it could be rumpel Stiltskins.
Speaker 1: Too, so I don't know. We'll see.
Speaker 2: Well, we're gonna go pay off this debt to Dick Cheney.
I got these new cards, Chris. I'm just gonna go
ahead and give these back to you. They're your changing cards.
Speaker 1: You can have those.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're gonna eat this delicious cheesecake Factory cheesecake not
sponsored and yeah cool, all right, Hal Clayton, Hey guys,
thanks for listening to another episode. We want to thank
our very special guest who played rumpel stilt Skin, Bill Sunderland,
from Escape This Podcast.
Speaker 3: Bill Sunderland, how did you know?
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh no, we're driving this man crazy.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Bill, we were just on your show last night at
about like eleven PM, and then you're on our show.
It's like noon over there right now. You're in Australia.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is fun. Yeah, So explain people what your
show is and what we did on it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, so Escape. This podcast is a show I
run with my partner Danny, where we create audio escape rooms,
a new one. Every episode. We have guests come on
and play through the room. They try and solve all
the puzzles, engage with the story, deal with the characters,
live in the fictional space, and get out.
Speaker 4: And the two of you were on. I think of
this release half a week ago maybe as medieval palace
hands trying to solve a inheritance crisis in the country
that you're from. Yeah, and you did very very well.
Speaker 1: Oh thanks for lying generous.
Speaker 2: No, it was a blast, and I've never experienced a
podcast like that, and this is coming from someone that
has a D and D show. It was such a
fun time. It was like a multimedia experience. I would
highly highly recommend our audience checks them out. I think
also built you've had some crazy guests sign Can you
tell us like some of your greatest hits and guests
that you've had on.
Speaker 3: Oh, Neil Patrick Harris has been on a lot for
people who like television and movies in theater amazing if
anyone's a task Master fan. We've had Alex Horn on
quite a few times, as well as a bunch of
other Taskmaster contestant the guess. We've had game designers. Daniel
Mullins has been on, who created inscription. We've had David
Dasmalchin and Steve ag If you're a big Marvel.
Speaker 1: Fan, Oh, David Malsin, I love him.
Speaker 3: We've had Jason Riddle, We've had Janet Fani. We've had
the people from Hayrid Riddle, We've had the mcelroys. We've
had a lot of people. It's been going on for
almost a decade now. I'm sure there's probably someone you
know playing an escape room that you can listen to
and feel smarter than.
Speaker 1: It's a phenomenal show. So grateful to be on and
so grateful to have you on the show. So everyone
go look up escape this podcast. Yeah, and then we're
gonna go talk about our sins. That's right.
Speaker 2: We're gonna go over to our Patreon for our post
show that will be out this coming week with Bill
and uh Yeah.
Speaker 1: Check their podcast out. Check our Patreon now, we'll see
you over there.
Speaker 3: Bye bye,