Speaker 1: Consistency is the biggest thing for a man to do.
Most men cannot hold it. Most men interests will fade
when you say, what are we? Y'all are? As much
as he communicates with you, what are we? He's not
checking in as much as he used to. Y'all are whatever?
However he communicates with you, he's telling you right off
a rip, what y'all are. He's telling you exactly what
you all are here a point in the blank. Hey, y'all,
welcome back to dear to see him. It is April.
I E my birthday month. I E the best month
to ever be born. So happy birthday, Happy birthday month
to the illustrious April babies. Now my birthday is April twenty,
which means I am the first day of the tours aries.
I'm gonna let y'all rock out, but just know the
tours touruses on, y'all, lass, I'm the first day, the first,
very first day.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Now, happy Spring, Happy April, Happy birthday month. You know,
my birthstone for all of you April babies, is a diamond.
Who else could say that shine breadth like a diamond.
Who else can say that your birthstone is a diamond.
I mean, I just don't know what's better. I am
the first day of toys, that I'm the leader of
the pack, and my birthstone is a diamond, So that
means that no man could ever play with me. Baby,
How could you ever put a small ring on my
finger when my birthstone is a diamond. Please don't play
on my name, dear husband, don't play with me anyways.
Welcome back to my channel. We have some subscription reminders.
We gonna get right into it. We have some subscription reminders,
and you all need to follow dear to see a
one Apple and Spotify, and make sure you click the
follow button. Okay, subscribe to my YouTube channel. It's under
under to see a X vs twenty And I think
it may be some changes coming today. Y'all still gonna
be able to find me, nonetheless, but I think I
want to change change my channel to be determined, to
be determined, to be determined. Okay, let's get into one
of my favorite things, which are the reviews. Y'all probably
like everything is your favorite, this is my shit, So yeah,
it's my favorite. Everything that I incorporated into this podcast
is my favorite. Okay, now here's a review from DW three.
She goes love it. I absolutely love dear to see
a podcast. Her advice is real, thoughtful, and always comes
from a place of love. She truly feels like a
virtual big sister, honest, caring, funny, and relatable. I love
how she speaks on dating, womanhood and the importance of
standing firm on your standards, morals and values. Every episode
feels like a real one on one conversation. Wishing her
continued success and so much growth, especially with her move
to Atlanta. That means you a day one. That means
you've been keeping up. If you know about my mood
to Atlanta, that means that you been keeping up. Now,
before I move on, I want to take a pause
to say thank y'all for ten thousand subscribers. Thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you. Claps claps, claps, were
moving our way up. But guess what other milestone? Yeah,
y'all know, y'all saw that million on my Instagram account. Whoa, y'all.
I've been working his great shop and.
Speaker 3: I ain't made.
Speaker 1: Y'all know, y'all see that one M and I ain't
gonna hold you one M. Do hit a little different
and it can I brag, yet I don't know. You know,
these these platforms they being playing with you. You look
up and overnight you lost five thousand followers. So I'm
trying to wait untime and to say so before I
really start. Okay, but uh, thank y'all, thank you so much. Okay,
there to see a voicemail number one. Let's see what
our goods is talking about. One day, I think some
men gonna call in. One day, I think men are
gonna call in. But let's see what our good Sis said.
Speaker 4: Hi to see you. I'm reaching out to you because
I have a problem with my child's father. Long story short.
We just met each other about almost two years ago,
but now we have an almost one year old and
we lived together. But at the very beginning of our relationship,
he did let me know that he wasn't ready for
a relationship, but we were still having sexual relations and
I ended up pregnant. He moved me into his house,
treated me as if we were in a relationship. I
guess because of the child and now we have he
has a bonus child because I already have one child
that I had before him. We just recently got a
new apartment together and I'm just wondering why am I
still here? Like the inconsistency with the emotional side of
things and the still having sexual relations but he doesn't
call himself in a relationship with me, the texting andn't
liking and following other girls. I just don't know how
to move forward emotionally with being in the same home
as him. If you can help me out, it would
be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Hey girl, Hey, hold on, y'all, we got sirens outside.
This is real life recording. Okay, real life recording. We
got some sirens outside. That's trying to mess up my video?
What is going on? Also, so I know why this firefighter,
this fire truck is going by, y'all tell me why.
I ain't got no water in my apartment right now,
literally no water. Have no water coming out of my fasset,
no water coming out the tub or the shower, and
no water coming out of my toilet, which means that
I can't blush. I'm over it. I'm going through it. Okay.
Now that the fire truck is gone, gone back to
our good old sis. Now it is time for us
to use our free will. It's time for us to
use our free will. You had a bonus child. He
has a bonus child, which means you had a child
before you met him. Y'all been together for about a
couple of years. You said he moved you into his house,
but then you said, now y'all have a new apartment together.
I don't know what the situation is for a girl.
All it takes for you to pack your stuff up
and get on out of there. It was a bad deal.
You know, players mess up too, and sometimes as women
we have to take the complete l You moved into
an apartment, got knocked up by a man who told
you off rip that he didn't want a relationship, and
now you're acting like you don't know why he's acting
like he doesn't want to be in a relationship. You
moved in the house with a man who told you
from the beginning and not just told you. His be
behavior showed that he did not want to be in
a relationship, and now you're wondering why he's not acting
like he's in a relationship. But hey, I'm not here
to scold you, I'm not here to lecture you. I'm
henna tell you, pat yosh up and get up out
of there. You want to know why. Because you had
a child before you may have which means that you
were you knew how to sit on your own two feet.
You're not being hell captive. Get out of there. Use
your free will. I love free will. Today, while using
my free wheel, it's only April and it's probably about
seventy five degrees, I decided to go upstairs on my
rooftop and get the last of my rents worth and
I grilled salmon, Italian sausages, corn, all types of stuff
on my grill because I was using my free wheel.
And that's what you need to do. You need to
use your free will. Nobody's locking you down. You're being
emotionally starved out. I feel like this man may be
a little bit older than you, but I'm not sure,
and you're letting him have the upper hand. Pat your
stuff up and your two kids and get out of there.
I'm not sure what you were doing when he moved
you into your house. If y'all splitting the bills or
whatever the case may be, you didn't say you were
to stay at home, mom. I think you're working.
Speaker 4: Get out that.
Speaker 1: House, apartment at that get out of there, get out, simple, simple,
if you were looking for something so deep, simple get
out of there. And then once you get out of there,
we need to figure out why you accepted this. Did
you think that he was going to change? Did you
think that maybe things were going to be different the child.
I'm not sure what kind of father he is, but
what was it. Did you feel like this man was
going to be different? I don't know. That's a difference
between me and y'all. Y'all, I really be listening to people, y'all,
don't be scared of that type of stuff. I be
listening to people. When people tell me they're not ready
for a relationship, When they tell me that even that
they don't know if they want kids or not. If
it's not an absolute complete yes, I'm cool off you.
If you're not like, yes, I want children, I'm cool
off you. Even if you got kids and you talk
about something you don't know, if you want more, I'm
cool off of you. Listen to what these people say.
I'm so scared to make the wrong decision with these
men and end up a baby mama and a joke
and this mean embarrassing me in public. Y'all have to
have fear of embarrassment by these men. If you don't
pack your stuff up, you and your child and get
out of there, there's no benefit there. And additionally, if
you these he's not gonna ever respect you the same.
He has your child, he has a child with you,
you've moved into his house. He probably don't think you
going anywhere or that you can send on your own
two feet. You gotta get out of their system. You
gotta get out of there. There's absolutely no benefit. Like
you said, like another girl's pictures on, he just has
no clue, no class. And that child you got with him,
and this fool gazy, fake faux fur relationship that you
got with this man, it's just not gonna materialize into anything.
I hope that that landed with love, okay, because I
truly do meaning with love. But we have to stop
letting these relationships take us out. We have to stop
dragging things out, even our healing process. It doesn't take
that long to heal. Move out like think fast, like
rapid fire. What should you do? Get out of there,
break up with him, move get that is gonna be
We need to stop meditating and marinating on this stuff
so long. The answer is simple. You gotta get out
of there, and you gotta go heal and figure out
why you accept this such a low standard period. It's
time to get out of there. It don't take no talking,
no healing. Please don't go to therapy with this man. Okay,
we're seen a lot of that. A lot of girls
are in therapy with their boyfriend now, which is really
kind of crazy to me. Okay, a man hain't even
thought about marrying them. It's time for you to get
out of there.
Speaker 2: You fed up.
Speaker 1: You made a mistake. You thought things was gonna change
and they didn't. Now it's no time to dwell in
what you did. That's what I see this a lot
from women. You mess up, and you make a mistake
and you realize that the person that you thought is
not actually a whatever kind of way, and then you
spend another six eight months, one year unraveling your mess up. Girl,
Get out of there, learn how to fire fast. It's
around you messed up. You got this man, child, it
ain't gonna be a relationship. Get out of there. Ain't
no time talking, ain't no closure, ain't no none of that.
You can help to communicate to him that you don't
think that this relationship is progressing forward. You feel a
lack of respect and it's been long enough for him
to show you and you don't see alignment here, and
it's time to move forward.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: I really hope that Landa would love. I hope that
helped you, and I pray that you make a move now,
like pray. God will hear your prayers, but you have
to move your feet, move your feet and pray about
the rest. Okay, you got it, wonderful. Okay, let's see
dear to see. Oh, I didn't tell y'all what that
was entitled, hold on, let me back. I didn't even
tell y'all what the voicemail due to your voiceman or
one was entitled. It was entitled we lived together, but
he says we're not in a relationship. You know what? Yeah,
I got back that up. We live together, but he
says we not in a relationship. Baby, all the things
that I said saying. But y'all gotta stop letting these
men have the audacity. I don't understand what has happened
in this environment. What has happened in this climate that
men can just do anything? What I feel like our
aunties weren't being treated like this. We lived together, but
he says we're not in a relationship. Nobody held Uh,
try saying it out here, nobody held you house. That
should go in and move in with this man? You
even accepting that, y'all be letting these men say anything.
I wish a nigga would tell me we're not in
a relationship after having a kid with me, getting me pregnant,
moving me into his house, blah blah blah blah. Make
these men tell you verbally before you do anything with them.
Speaker 3: Girl.
Speaker 1: Anyways, So yes, friends, that was the time with a voicemail,
we lived together, but he says, we're not in a relationship.
Now you're to see a voicemail number two nine months later?
What are we Let's see what she said nine months later?
What are we?
Speaker 4: There?
Speaker 2: Just here? I met a nice man about nine months ago,
and we are just friends. And I mean we do
we flirt with each other, we we kiss, but nothing
more than that. Nine months, nothing's happened, and it's not
that anything has to happen. He did say, like, I'm
taking my time with you, but I'm like, are where
is the relationship going? I think that we're just friends
and I do call him my friend, but I'm ready
for more. We've talked about it. We're we're not young,
young young. We both still want to get married. We've
talked about that over the course of the nine months.
But something it's just we're just not talking as much
as we normally do. He does have multiple jobs. We're
not hanging out as much as we do he used to,
and we only hang out once a week, like on
a Friday or a Saturday, which isn't a problem. We're
both busy and we don't really text all. I mean,
we have jobs, so we're not texting during the day,
but we're just not checking in with each other like
we like we were at one point, I would say,
and he always texts me, he always calls me, he
always initiates with me, like spending time together, but like
we're not dating now. We I don't want to say
it's we're in a situationship because there is no situation.
We did spend Valentine's Day together the whole throughout the
weekend actually, so it wasn't just like a one day thing.
He say future things that he wants to do or
we're planning to do, but we haven't really talked about
where this is going. I have said a few things before.
A few weeks ago, I gave him my little Dear
John letter and I said take care, and he called
me the next day like nothing happened. So I don't
know if I just need to be patient and let
it kind of go with the flow, which I'm gonna
go with the flow, girl, or if I need to
just let it go. And I've tried already, so I
don't know what else to do.
Speaker 1: Okay, So you need to leave him exactly where he stands.
This man, the way that he responded to you is
so indicative of a man that wants to get you
on his program. And I've talked about this before a
lot of time men can silently groom you, and it's
so quick and you don't even know when it's happening.
When you said you've mentioned some things before, did he
say he said nothing? It was silent, which means he's
ignoring your requests and your desires. When you confronted him
and talk to him about where y'all were going, what
y'all were going to do this Dear John message that
you wrote him, he called you back like nothing happened.
This is dangerous behavior. Okay, all of that he's avoiding,
he's avoiding, he's avoiding. Yes, a part of that could
be that he maybe is avoiding. But this man is
actually starving you out, which this is a This is
smoke to the fire. This is smoke to the fire
of actually very dangerous abusive behavior. Okay. If you wrote
a Dear John letter, I'm not sure what you wrote
in the letter and this man called you like nothing happened. Also,
the him not reaching out to you, him not consistency
is the biggest thing for a man to do. Most
men cannot hold it. Most men interests will fade when
you say, what are we?
Speaker 4: Y'all are?
Speaker 1: As much as he communicates with you, what are we?
He's not checking in as much as he used to.
Y'all are whatever. However he communicates with you, he's telling
you right off a rip, what y'all are. He's telling
you exactly what you all are, period, point in the blank.
I think that you're a little emotionally invested in it.
You say, y'all haven't done anything, but it's the kissing,
it's all that stuff y'all spend. Valentine's day together. Please
start start gatekeeping your hearts? Ladies, Why are you doing
all of these things with someone who hasn't made a
commitment and cannot communicate to you where he wants to go?
Talking about he taking it slow with you? If he's
taking its slow with you, okay, because if you was
his dream girl, he wouldn't be taking its slow. If
he was taking its slow with you, which is what
he said he's doing, you need to take it slow
with him. I literally don't know any other way to
say this. If a man claims that he is taking
its slow with you, your tempo also needs to be slow.
You don't need to be in bed with him. You
don't need to be doing taking Valentine's Day trips with him,
spending Valentine's Day together. He's taking it slow, So why
does he get the benefits of a glimpse of a
girlfriend if he's taking it slow. Y'all have to learn
how to match these men's tempo. He's taking his slow,
but he gets to have all the other things I'm
one with. You want, however slow, you gonna take it
this however slow. This is why women that are abstinence
or are celibate Okay, they get to that alter much
much quicker, much quicker, because men want what they want.
A man ain't gonna meet you, and you be his
dream girl and a woman of his dreams, and he's
taking it slow. And you said, y'all are older. You said,
y'all are older. This man knows already he's taking this
slow with you. But y'all spending Valentine's here together and
all this kind of stuff. No, ma'am, y'all roll into
a situation. Ship you talk about it. You don't know
if it's a situation ship because there's no situation. It
is a situation. You're wondering, what are y'all? It is
a situation. No, you ain't got a lot of meat, Craig,
you ain't got a lot to kick it, baby, It
is a situation. If you're writing a dear line, dear John,
let her, baby, it's a situation. You gotta be real
with yourself. This man has some reservation. It's not your
job to ask him about him. It's not your job
to try to see and investigate what it is he's
telling you off rip exactly what it is. He's losing interest.
It's a hard peal to swallow. I never met a
man so consistent with a woman fall off and then
come back and as he was before. He's never learn
to return back to the man that you first had.
If he did, you should be skeptical. He's taking it slow.
Why are you sending dear John letters? Why do you
want to know? What are we He's taking it slow, right,
you want to know why you're asking that? Because your
tempo was much further. Your heart led you to places
your eyes havn't seen. And we all know who listen
to this podcast. That's a no no. Never let your
heart lead you to a place your eyes haven't seen.
Speaker 3: You.
Speaker 1: In the third fourth chapter of the book, he in
the introduction he can table of contents. If a man
tells you that he's taking it slow with you, you,
your feelings, your emotions need to match his tempo. Because
a man that really wants you, he's not gonna move
that slow. Trust me, trust me, he ain't gonna take
his time. He's not gonna take his time. Now. I'm
not saying you should just rush into something or that
you shouldn't vet properly vet someone and just take the
first man that come your way, but there should be
some type of urgency behind your name. Simple man. Anyways, anyways,
he's taking it slow till you slow down to I
don't think you want to get him back to that
same place, and I don't think he's sure about you.
Simple okay, y'all. Voicemail number three dear to see you.
Let's see what it's entitled. Dear to see a. Voicemail
Number three is entitled he keeps cheating and I keep
trying to fix it.
Speaker 2: Girl.
Speaker 1: I'm annoyed already. I'm annoyed already.
Speaker 3: Dear to Ziam. I've been dating this guy for two
years and a half. We met at my job and
we started getting to know each other going on dates.
We started talking for ten months, but before he had
asked me out to be his girlfriend. But during the
talking stage, I found out he had cheated on me
within four to five months with this girl that they
had gotten trick la and talked in his car. I
have done stuff too as myg get back after I've
had found out about that girl, which I shouldn't have,
but it hurt me to know what he had done.
But I just found out that he was texting other
females too. I got cheated on with He was texting
every female on his social media and never let and
would never let me check his phone. He would get
mad and turn it back on me and would ask
to see my phone, which I would let him check.
And I keep trying to fix things between us, and
now I just feel like I'm the only one putting
effort into the relationship, especially because he's always working and
the only time we get to talk is that night.
But even then he says he's tired and is going
to sleep. But that's when I ended up catching him
texting someone or just being on social media not talking
to me.
Speaker 1: He doesn't want to be with you. He doesn't like you.
I love you, sis, he doesn't want to be with you.
He doesn't like you. You have to let people stay
where they want to be. Where he wants to be
is out on the street frolicking with women, uh, getting
chook fil a with them, texting other women from social media.
That's what you gotta. Let a dog be a dog,
Let a dog be a dog. Matter of fact, let
a wolf be a wolf. Y'all be trying to make
y'all be trying to domesticate a wolf and turn them
into a dog. Now we all know the uh that
that that a dog uh stems from a wolf, domesticated wolf.
Why are y'all trying to make a wolf a house dog?
The man is telling you a million times, where is
y'all ego? Y'all never look up and be like, I'm
not gonna let this man treat me like this? Who
the heck do he think he is? You can't fix
that because he he's a dog. Seriously, he wants to
be out in the street. He wants to run up
and down the alleys, and he wants to run through
the neighborhood and go and pee on trees. That's what
he wants to do. Why are you trying to domesticate
this man? Get you a backbone, get you some self confidence,
get you and additionally, he is not working all this time.
He's annoyed with you, he's uninterested. He doesn't want to
be with you, simple math. It's no other theory. He
does not want to be with you, sis, and you
need to go find out. Why is it that somebody
can reject you and treat you that poorly and you're
trying to fix it? Is it your father's abandonment? Wund
that you're trying to fix. Is it an orphan won
is it being a middle child? Is it not being
seen or heard or protected growing up? Is it a
lack of nurturing? Is it always being the ugly duckling
or the eyeball out? What is it you need to
find out?
Speaker 4: Why?
Speaker 1: Man? I can tell you I don't like you, I
don't like you, I don't like you, I don't like you,
and you can say black. I keep trying to fix it.
He wants to be a dog running around in the streets. Please, y'all, ladies,
please go here before you go and date these men.
How many times will he have to tell you that
he doesn't like you? He told you when you found
out about the Chick fil A girl, He told you
that he didn't like you. When you see him on
Instagram during the one little time that she got to
spend with you. He's on social media DM and girls
and girls' comments when he gets home from work, and
the only time y'all get to talk, he's saying, and
he's going to bed, he's not interested in you and
it's never gonna change. You cannot pick up and make
him more interested in you again. Let him be a
stray dog on the street, running around looking for food.
That's how he told you so many times. We have
to get a backbone. You have to get some ribs,
some structure. Okay, you gotta learn how to stand on
your two feet. You gotta learn and see, why are
you accepting such a low treatment? Why don't you have
enough ego? Why don't you feel good enough about yourself?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 1: You like, I'm not about to deal with this from
this man, y'all. Don't care about being rejected over and
over and over again. Where's the humility? Where's the ego?
Ain't no way a man treated me like that? And
I'm out here to talk about some I keep trying
to fix it. No, he doesn't want it. Is that
the thing? He doesn't want to be with you? He
doesn't want to be I think that was the thing
for all three of the voicemails. The girl that was
in the house with the man that was that uh
lives together, but he's not in a relationship. He doesn't
like you, he doesn't want to be with you. He
was cheating and lying too. Who was our second voicemail? Oh,
the young lady who said, what are we nine months
and what are we He doesn't like you. You're nothing.
He doesn't like you, and it's being here with you, sweetheart.
He's all in people's dm he's all in your comments,
he's texting other girls. He doesn't speak to you and
talk to you throughout the day. He's working so much,
and when he does get to talk to you, he's
barely awake. He doesn't like you. That's the theme.
Speaker 4: Mother.
Speaker 1: Let's look, that's the theme of the other day. He
doesn't like you. He doesn't like you. And I'm sorry
that y'all are going through this, but it's twenty twenty six.
Speaker 4: It's time.
Speaker 1: It's time to put your foot down. It's too much information,
too much platforms. Invest in yourself, level up, work on
your interpersonal skills, go to therapy, pay the lady, stay
watching this podcast, Go to my social media so that
you would never be in ty predicament ever again. Okay, ever, ever,
ever again. Now for our fragrance segment to see if
you smell good drum robe, please now the last one
I told you, I want to try to do our
last fragrance and then talk about that one. So the
last fragrance I believe I did our Contrario by Titiciana Torenzi.
I didn't get an applause for this. I didn't get nobody,
nobody said anything. What I will say is that I
didn't do my normal routine. I didn't do my shower
routine and my body lotion, my oils and all that
kind of stuff. So this new run of fragrances, I
have to give it the same love. So can we
do it? To be continued on this one? I want
to give it another go. I want to give this
baby another go. But as for now, it wasn't a showstopper.
That's an honest review. But I'm not done with her yet.
I won't give up on Gotta see. Now for our
new fragrance of the week, we have BDK Impatia, Empadia.
I think it's impatia impadia, sound like impanada. This is
BDK and Patia. Okay, and let's see what the notes
are of this fragrance. Okay, give me one second, ladies. Okay,
so y'all y'all know him on my phone, y'all know
I'm on one woman show. Now give me a second,
give me a second. Okay, we have BDK and padia.
It opens with top notes of Italian Bergermont Mandarin and
pair a heart of Bulgarian rose, Turkish rolls and orange blossom,
and a base of aki aki gollawood. Pronunciation police will
be blocked, Aki, galoo wood, vanilla absolute, and sandal wood.
The top notes Italian burg of my Mandarin, pair of
hart notes are Bulgarian rose, Turkish rolls, orange and blossom.
Bass notes are acca, gallo wood, vanilla absolute, sandal wood,
Vanilla absolute, sandal wood, and then twisted lily. Okay ya,
all ready, let's see. Let's spread a little bit over here. First.
Hmmm hm, I'm immediately getting the vanilla absolute and the
Turkish rows actually like Turkish rolls. I like this. I
like this. I smell very grown, very feminine, delicate, that vanilla.
I don't know if that's like concentrated vanilla vanilla absolute.
Speaker 2: Mmm.
Speaker 1: I like this, y'all. I like this. I smell the
Turkish rose. I smell the vanilla absolute. Oh, the Bulgarian
roh yeah, Bulgarian and Turkish rolls definitely smell the rose,
the vanilla absolutely. I'm not sure if I'm getting sandal wood.
I like this. I like this, It's like delicate, dainty, grown, sophisticated.
It's a beautiful blend. I don't think well, I think
that vanilla is overpowering a lot of it. So even
though you get the rose, it's it bears kind of
this sweet gormandi. This is beautiful. Anyways, I don't have
much to say it. I love it. I think the
vanilla definitely is strong, which I do love vanilla. I'm
smelling a lot of the Bulgarian rose and the Turkish rolls.
Oh the orange blossom. The orange blossom is there as well,
But I don't think I'm smelling a Bergamont. Bergamont can
be a little spicy, and there is a faint spicy
note in there. It's very faint. Though I like this.
Speaker 4: I like this one.
Speaker 1: I ain't even gonna hold them put over here. I
like that one. Real cute, real cute. And I will
be reporting back, Okay, I'm gonna report back and let
y'all know what it gave. If somebody complimenting me on it,
I'm gonna let you know. Okay, our red flag report.
Ori Linux on toxic versus sweet Men. Recently, Ari Linux
sparked conversation online after reflecting on her past dating choices,
I saw this interview, admitting she often chose toxic energy
over stable partners. In a recent interview covered by Yahoo
March eleven, twenty twenty six, she shared that while those
relationships felt exciting at first, they ultimately lacked the security
she now realizes she needed. Linux acknowledged that she overlooked
sweet men who offered stability, and she and now sees
many of them building families and healthy lives. She also
questioned whether was she once labeled as boring was actually
emotional peace and consistency. The conversation has gone viral, with
many people debating whether excitement is being confused with dysfunction
and whether people recognize healthy love too late. If you
knowingly choose toxic partners over stable ones because they feel
more exciting, is the real issue the dating pool or
your attraction to chaos. I don't think we're giving her
enough credit. We're not giving her enough credit. The girls
realized too late that the man that was exciting and
all that chemistry the butterflies was really anxiety, chaos, toxicity,
and drama. Can we give the girls some credit? She's
acknowledging that her nervous system was not regulated with people
that she once found to be exciting. She also acknowledged
that now she sees those sweet men that she overlooks
building families and living healthy lives. Can we have a
round of applause for ri Linux she's ignowed and I
think a lot of us have now. I never hit
the bad boy face. I never dated the ones that's
like just took me through the take me through, the
take me do that and played around. Okay, that was
never exciting to me. If you didn't treat me, well
I don't I'm not interested.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: However, I have encountered men that were just a little
bit more buttoned up, a little bit more kind of
you know, just like the l seven just kind of square,
kind of lame, kind of nerdy. I love a nerd, okay,
And it just didn't seem like the best spit. That
wasn't mean I was running to the pookies and ray rays, okay,
in them, whyians, I wasn't running to them. However, I
would like a healthy middle ground. My ideal man he's,
of course, y'all know, he's a man of God. But
he's very very very smart, very more towards on the
nerd side. Okay, he's very smart, he's witty, he's the
head of the class, he's a leader. But he got
that grid on him. He got a little grit on him.
I need a little grit. I'm not asking for him
to be hood and a drug dealer, Okay, I'm not
asking for him to be that, but I am asking
for him to be street smart as well. You want
to feel protective, you want a little riz on you.
You know, I will marry the nerd, absolutely positively. I
will marry the nerd, but I need you to know
how to get it out the mud. And when I
say streets smart, that doesn't mean just somebody who know
about the streets and grew up in the hood. I'm
talking about somebody who just has a great grasp on life,
knows how to overcome obstacles and knows how to pull
themselves out of a hole, and knows how to overcome adversity.
That type of man, right, got a little grid on him.
He's a fighter. Okay, that type of man I need.
So I'm with Ari, I understand, I get it. I
think a lot of us, to the question have learned
a little bit too late that he.
Speaker 4: Was a good man.
Speaker 1: He's a good man. A lot of us realize too late.
Now these men married, and I can skip Now. I
believe my person is my person, So I don't believe
that I missed my chance with somebody. But you know,
men start looking real different to you when they got
a wife. You'll be like, oh, somebody liked you. Maybe
maybe maybe you ain't half bad. Somebody marries you, you'll
be like, somebody marries you. Maybe, what did what did
I not? What did what did I miss? What didn't
I see? Huh Ari, We stay with you, girl. Some
most of the girls were too late to the party.
And I'm just proud of I'm proud of her transparency.
I'm proud of her growth. It seems like she now
is very cognizant of the mistakes that she made and
also the place that she was in when she was
making those mistakes. Kudos to you, Ari, Kudos to you.
We're all in there with you anyways, y'all. Thank you
for tuning in too there to see you, and I
will see y'all next time. By now,