Speaker 1: Man is a creature who gets used to everything. Dostoyevski
Speaker 1: wrote that, and right now you've gotten used to the
Speaker 1: worst lie of all, that your life exists to upgrade
Speaker 1: hers while destroying yours. You know exactly what I'm talking about,
Speaker 1: because you've lived it. You've poured your money, your energy,
Speaker 1: your years, your mind, your future into building a throne
Speaker 1: for her, while you sat on the cold floor beneath it.
Speaker 1: You called it love, you called it loyalty, you called
Speaker 1: it being a real man. But let me ask you,
Speaker 1: who's building your life while you're building hers. Who's rescuing
Speaker 1: you while you're busy rescuing her from a life she
Speaker 1: should have built on her own. You gave her everything,
Speaker 1: and what did you keep for yourself? Nothing? You see,
Speaker 1: Dostoyevsky didn't just write about guilt and suffering. He wrote
Speaker 1: about the weakness of men who throw away their souls
Speaker 1: for people who don't even ask them to. Man only
Speaker 1: like to count his troubles. He doesn't calculate his happiness.
Speaker 1: And you, my friend, you've been counting the wrong things
Speaker 1: all along. You believed you were building a future, but
Speaker 1: you were building a prison. Brick by brick, funded by
Speaker 1: your own blindness, mortgaged by your own time, locked shut
Speaker 1: by your own cowardice. You thought, if you gave more,
Speaker 1: she would stay. You thought if you sacrificed more, she
Speaker 1: would love you more. You thought, if you made her
Speaker 1: life easier, somehow you'd finally feel like a man. But
Speaker 1: you don't feel like a man, do you. You feel used,
Speaker 1: You feel unseen. You feel like you sold yourself cheap,
Speaker 1: and the worst part, you did it willingly. Dostoyevsky warned
Speaker 1: about this. Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than
Speaker 1: lying to others. And that's what you've been doing, lying
Speaker 1: to yourself, telling yourself this is what love looks like,
Speaker 1: telling yourself that neglecting your future is noble, telling yourself
Speaker 1: that if you just keep giving, you'll finally madder. But
Speaker 1: real men don't give everything away to prove their worth.
Speaker 1: Real men build themselves first, so they never have to
Speaker 1: beg to be valued. You've been funding a life you
Speaker 1: don't even belong in any more, and you know it.
Speaker 1: You feel it, that gnawing bitterness eating at your spirit,
Speaker 1: whispering to you in the quiet. You trade it yourself
Speaker 1: for nothing. You were born with a life to build
Speaker 1: not a life to donate, not a life to waste
Speaker 1: on decorating some one else's throne, not a life to
Speaker 1: lose while trying to make her life easier. Dostoyevsky would
Speaker 1: call it spiritual suicide, because that's what it is, slow, silent,
Speaker 1: respectable suicide. You want to know why you feel empty,
Speaker 1: because you've upgraded her life while letting yours rot. And
Speaker 1: unless you stop now, unless you turn around, unless you
Speaker 1: face the brutal truth you've been avoiding, you will die
Speaker 1: as the man who made everyone comfortable except himself. Because this,
Speaker 1: this right here, is the story of most men's lives,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't have to be yours. And don't you
Speaker 1: dare tell yourself you're doing it for love, because if
Speaker 1: you were honest, you'd admit your doing it for approval,
Speaker 1: for the pathetic little reward of not being left alone.
Speaker 1: Dostoyevsky saw this game in every man. The man who
Speaker 1: performs like a fool, building a kingdom where he holds
Speaker 1: no crown, laying bricks for a palace he will never own,
Speaker 1: begging for validation he should have earned from himself long
Speaker 1: before she ever arrived. The man who lies to himself
Speaker 1: loses all respect for himself. And when he has no respect,
Speaker 1: he can no longer love. That's what Dostoevsky warned, and
Speaker 1: that is you, because what you're doing is not love,
Speaker 1: its servitude disguised as romance. It's slavery soul to you
Speaker 1: as masculinity, and you already know how it ends. You
Speaker 1: upgrade her lifestyle, you upgrade her comfort, you upgrade her opportunities,
Speaker 1: and one day she leaves. She leaves not because she's evil,
Speaker 1: but because deep down she knows. You were never building
Speaker 1: for yourself. You were building to impress her. You were
Speaker 1: building to be needed. And the moment she stops needing you,
Speaker 1: she stops respecting you. You think I'm lying, Look around,
Speaker 1: look at the millions of men who gave everything and
Speaker 1: ended up with nothing but memories they paid for alone.
Speaker 1: Dostoyevsky understood the sickness of a man who needs to
Speaker 1: be needed, the underground man, that pitiful character who justified
Speaker 1: his weakness as depth, who turned his bitterness into a religion,
Speaker 1: who couldn't bear to build his own life, so he
Speaker 1: lived off the shadow of someone else's. And you, you
Speaker 1: are dangerously close to becoming him. You've traded ambition for convenience.
Speaker 1: You've traded mission for romance. You've traded your entire future
Speaker 1: for a seat at a table you don't even own.
Speaker 1: And you wonder why you wake up bitter. You wonder
Speaker 1: why you feel like a fraud. You wonder why you
Speaker 1: secretly resent the very life you claim you built out
Speaker 1: of love, because you didn't build it for love. You
Speaker 1: built it because you were afraid, afraid to stand on
Speaker 1: your own, afraid to face the silence, afraid to be
Speaker 1: a man whose life does an orbit around being someone
Speaker 1: else's emotional provider. Let me tell you what Dostoyevsky already knew.
Speaker 1: No woman will ever respect the man who erases himself
Speaker 1: to make her comfortable. No woman will ever stay with
Speaker 1: a man who sacrifices his purpose just to fund her lifestyle.
Speaker 1: No woman will ever follow a man who forgot to
Speaker 1: lead himself first. And here's the worst part. You already
Speaker 1: knew this, You've known it for a long time, but
Speaker 1: you couldn't bear to admit it, because if you did,
Speaker 1: you'd have to face the guilt of what you've already
Speaker 1: thrown away. But here's your warning. If you keep living
Speaker 1: like this, if you keep trading your life away, one
Speaker 1: upgrade at a time, you will wake up in a
Speaker 1: future you built for her and realize you no longer
Speaker 1: exist in it. You'll be nothing more than the ghost
Speaker 1: of the man you could have been. And yet you
Speaker 1: still cling to the lie that you're doing the right thing.
Speaker 1: You wear your self sacrifice like it's a badge of honor.
Speaker 1: You brag about how much you've given, how much you've endured,
Speaker 1: how much you've suffered. But Dostoyevsky saw right through men
Speaker 1: like you, men who love to tell themselves their noble
Speaker 1: when in reality they're just cowards hiding behind the illusion
Speaker 1: of duty. He once wrote, suffering is part of the
Speaker 1: vast love of the universe, but meaningless suffering, self inflicted suffering.
Speaker 1: This is madness, and madness is what you've chosen. You're
Speaker 1: not suffering like a man. You're suffering like a slave.
Speaker 1: You're suffering like a man who threw away his mission,
Speaker 1: his vision, his life, just to keep her from leaving.
Speaker 1: And the worst part, she can't even respect you for it,
Speaker 1: because she sees what you refuse to admit that you're
Speaker 1: not doing it from strength, you're doing it from fear.
Speaker 1: The fear of being alone, the fear of being unloved,
Speaker 1: the fear of building something for yourself and realizing you
Speaker 1: are the only one responsible if it fails. So you
Speaker 1: shift that burden onto her. You make her the center.
Speaker 1: You make her success your life's mission. You make her
Speaker 1: dreams your justification for breathing. And when she no longer
Speaker 1: needs you, you'll tell yourself you were used, when in reality,
Speaker 1: you volunteered to be forgotten. Dostoevsky would call it spiritual humiliation,
Speaker 1: the slow death of a man who never had the
Speaker 1: courage to build his own kingdom, so he rented space
Speaker 1: in someone else's. And you tell yourself you're different, but
Speaker 1: you're not. You're just like the rest, just another man
Speaker 1: who thinks sacrifice makes him noble, when sacrifice without self
Speaker 1: respect makes him nothing. You've forgotten the first rule of
Speaker 1: being a man. You are responsible for your own survival,
Speaker 1: not hers, not theirs, yours. Because if you don't build yourself,
Speaker 1: if you don't lead yourself, if you don't fight for yourself,
Speaker 1: you'll wake up one day begging for the very life
Speaker 1: you could have built all along. And make no mistake,
Speaker 1: she will leave, not because she's ungrateful, but because deep
Speaker 1: down she never wanted to carry the weight you refused
Speaker 1: to carry yourself. You made her your purpose. You made
Speaker 1: her your mission, You made her your identity. And now
Speaker 1: you wonder why she lost interest, why she grew cold,
Speaker 1: why she looks at you and no longer sees the
Speaker 1: man she once believed in, Because you stopped being a
Speaker 1: man when you stopped living for yourself, and she saw
Speaker 1: it long before you were brave enough to admit it.
Speaker 1: So here's your choice. Keep sacrificing yourself to upgrade her
Speaker 1: life while yours falls apart, or wake up, reclaim your time,
Speaker 1: rebuild your mission, and stop living as a man who
Speaker 1: lives for some one else's validation. Because Dostoyevsky warned you
Speaker 1: long before I did, you don't lose your life in
Speaker 1: a moment. You lose it inch by inch, choice by choice,
Speaker 1: excuse by excuse, until there's nothing left but the man
Speaker 1: who gave it all away for nothing. And now here
Speaker 1: you are standing in the rubble of a life you
Speaker 1: thought was built on love but was really built on fear.
Speaker 1: And you still don't know who you are without her.
Speaker 1: That is the real tragedy, because you could have built
Speaker 1: a fortress. You could have built a legacy. You could
Speaker 1: have built yourself into the kind of man that no
Speaker 1: woman could ever outgrow. But you didn't. You built her dream,
Speaker 1: You upgraded her comfort, You made her life easier while
Speaker 1: yours became smaller, quieter, emptier. And here's the part you
Speaker 1: don't want to hear. She doesn't owe you anything, not loyalty,
Speaker 1: not gratitude, not love, not even a thank you for
Speaker 1: all the years you sacrificed. Because you didn't do it
Speaker 1: for her. You did it for yourself, for the weak approval,
Speaker 1: starved version of you who thought being needed was the
Speaker 1: same thing as being valuable. Dostoyevsky warned you about this.
Speaker 1: He wrote, to love is to suffer, and to suffer
Speaker 1: is to love. But you skipped the part he didn't
Speaker 1: say out loud, that suffering without boundaries isn't love, it's
Speaker 1: self betrayal. You were never supposed to sacrifice your entire existence.
Speaker 1: You were never supposed to erase yourself to make some
Speaker 1: one else feel secure. You were never supposed to trade
Speaker 1: your mission for their comfort. You were supposed to build
Speaker 1: something bigger than both of you, something they could trust
Speaker 1: you to lead, something they could respect you for creating
Speaker 1: something that outlived their presence, But you didn't. You built
Speaker 1: a temp for someone else, lit the candles, swept the floors,
Speaker 1: and then stood outside waiting for someone to invite you
Speaker 1: back in. Look at your life. Look at the energy
Speaker 1: you've poured into making her dreams real. Look at the
Speaker 1: sacrifices you've made, the opportunities you passed up, the years
Speaker 1: you wasted trying to make her stay. Now, tell me
Speaker 1: what did you build for you? Where is your foundation?
Speaker 1: Where is your mission? Where is your life? You don't know,
Speaker 1: do you? Because you never made yourself the project. You
Speaker 1: never made yourself the priority. You never made yourself the
Speaker 1: man she could respect without needing to save you. And
Speaker 1: now you're alone, not because she's gone, but because you
Speaker 1: were never really there to begin with. You were too
Speaker 1: busy building her life while yours slowly disappeared. So here's
Speaker 1: the final warning. If you don't stop this cycle now,
Speaker 1: if you don't reclaim your mind, if you don't rebuild
Speaker 1: your life from the ashes of what you wasted, you
Speaker 1: will live the rest of your days as the man
Speaker 1: who spent his life upgrading someone else's world while his
Speaker 1: own burned. Quietly in the background. And that is how
Speaker 1: most men die, empty, forgotten, unbuilt. But that doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be you, not if you turn around now. But
Speaker 1: let me tell you something. Dostoevsky knew. The darker the night,
Speaker 1: the brighter the stars, And right now you're in the night.
Speaker 1: You've lost years, you've lost yourself, you've lost the respect
Speaker 1: you once thought you had. But you haven't lost everything.
Speaker 1: Not yet. You're still breathing, you're still listening. You still
Speaker 1: have one thing left, the power to stop lying to yourself.
Speaker 1: Dostoevsky wrote about the man who collapses under the weight
Speaker 1: of his own lies, who can't bear to face the
Speaker 1: truth of who he's become. But he also wrote about
Speaker 1: the man who, finally, after all the destruction, chooses to
Speaker 1: stand up again. And that man could still be you.
Speaker 1: But first, you have to let go of the lie
Speaker 1: that your life is worth less than hers. You have
Speaker 1: to kill the belief that your only value comes from
Speaker 1: being needed. You have to stop playing the martyr, stop
Speaker 1: playing the provider with no purpose, Stop playing the fool
Speaker 1: who gives the world away just to avoid being alone.
Speaker 1: You were not born to be someone's emotional crutch. You
Speaker 1: were not born to be her retirement plan. You were
Speaker 1: not born to sponsor someone else's comfort while you drown
Speaker 1: in quiet regret. You were born to build, to lead,
Speaker 1: to suffer for something that belongs to you, to sacrifice
Speaker 1: for a vision that lives beyond her approval. To live
Speaker 1: without hope is to cease to live. Dostoevsky wrote that too.
Speaker 1: And you've lived without hope long enough. It's time to rebuild.
Speaker 1: It's time to face the brutal silence you've been avoiding.
Speaker 1: It's time to stop pretending that your life has no weight,
Speaker 1: no mission, no worth outside of making someone else is easier.
Speaker 1: It's time to walk away, not from love, not from women,
Speaker 1: not from people, but from the version of you that
Speaker 1: made them your only reason for living. Because the world
Speaker 1: doesn't need another man who lives for approval. The world
Speaker 1: needs men who build from the inside out, men who
Speaker 1: choose their mission over comfort, men who choose meaning over validation,
Speaker 1: men who choose responsibility over applause. And here's the cold truth.
Speaker 1: You don't need her life to get better. You need
Speaker 1: your life to stop getting worse. So stand up, not
Speaker 1: for her, not for them, for you, Because when you
Speaker 1: rebuild yourself, when you rise from the ashes of your
Speaker 1: wasted years, when you stop trying to buy love with sacrifice,
Speaker 1: you won't need to beg for anyone to stay. They'll
Speaker 1: follow you, because this time you'll actually be leading. But
Speaker 1: don't think for a second that rebuilding will be easy.
Speaker 1: Dostoyevsky made it clear nothing meaningful, ever is. He wrote,
Speaker 1: the mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive,
Speaker 1: but in finding something to live for. And that's what
Speaker 1: you've been running from. Not the pain, not the sacrifice,
Speaker 1: not the cost. You've been running from the emptiness you
Speaker 1: feel when you realize you've never defined your own purpose.
Speaker 1: Because it's easier to make someone else the mission. It's
Speaker 1: easier to make someone else's happiness your job. It's easier
Speaker 1: to disappear into someone else's life than to build one
Speaker 1: of your own. You've mastered the art of giving without building,
Speaker 1: sacrificing without standing, providing without leading. And now that it's over,
Speaker 1: now that she's gone, now that you're left with nothing
Speaker 1: but yourself, you finally realize you've never built anything that
Speaker 1: belongs to you. But here's the hidden gift in all
Speaker 1: of this. She's gone, and now you have no one
Speaker 1: left to hide behind, no one left to blame, no
Speaker 1: one left to distract you, no one left to carry
Speaker 1: the burden you refuse to shoulder for yourself. And this
Speaker 1: is where the real work begins. It begins when you
Speaker 1: stop apologizing for choosing yourself. It begins when you stop
Speaker 1: outsourcing your manhood to someone else's comfort. It begins when
Speaker 1: you take responsibility for the life you've been afraid to build.
Speaker 1: Because the man you were before, the man who upgraded
Speaker 1: her life while his own crumbled, he is dead now.
Speaker 1: And the man you must become he isn't born out
Speaker 1: of comfort. He isn't born out of validation. He isn't
Speaker 1: born out of sacrifice for others while starving himself. He
Speaker 1: is born the moment you choose to suffer for something
Speaker 1: that belongs to you. You think she's what you lost.
Speaker 1: Number You lost yourself, you lost your time, you lost
Speaker 1: your strength, you lost your dignity, you lost your mission,
Speaker 1: and you've been standing in the ruins ever since, blaming
Speaker 1: her for walking away, when it was you who abandoned
Speaker 1: yourself first. Dostoevsky's greatest warning isn't about women. It's about
Speaker 1: men who lose their souls by living for anything other
Speaker 1: than the truth. And here's the truth. No one is
Speaker 1: coming to save you, No one is coming to build you,
Speaker 1: no one is coming to hand you back the years
Speaker 1: you wasted. You're either going to rise now or you're
Speaker 1: going to rot forever in the memory of the man
Speaker 1: you refused to become. The choice is yours, and the
Speaker 1: clock is already ticking. And now you're standing face to
Speaker 1: face with the truth. You've been running from your whole life.
Speaker 1: You've spent your best years trying to buy love with sacrifice.
Speaker 1: You've spent your strength trying to prove you're enough by
Speaker 1: giving everything away. You've upgraded her life, her dreams, her comfort,
Speaker 1: and called it manhood. But let me tell you something
Speaker 1: that no one dared to tell you before. Validation is
Speaker 1: not love. Validation is a drug, a sedative for men
Speaker 1: who are terrified of living without some one else's approval.
Speaker 1: And every time you bend, every time you chase, every
Speaker 1: time you give up more of yourself just to keep
Speaker 1: her smiling, you feed the addiction that's quietly killing you.
Speaker 1: You don't need another woman to tell you that you
Speaker 1: are enough. You need to become enough for yourself. So
Speaker 1: here's what you do, and don't just listen. Do it first,
Speaker 1: kill the savior complex. Stop trying to fix women, stop
Speaker 1: trying to rescue them, Stop making their happiness your life's purpose.
Speaker 1: You are not God, You are not their father, You
Speaker 1: are not their life raft. You are a man, a
Speaker 1: man with a mission far bigger than making her happy.
Speaker 1: And here's the brutal truth. A woman doesn't want a
Speaker 1: man who lives for her validation. She wants a man
Speaker 1: who lives for his mission, who builds something so powerful,
Speaker 1: so rooted in purpose, that she has to fight to
Speaker 1: be part of it. Second, rebuild your mission. What is
Speaker 1: your life's work? What have you neglected? What dream have
Speaker 1: you pushed aside to play the provider? It's time to
Speaker 1: dust it off. It's time to suffer for something that
Speaker 1: belongs to you. Your body, rebuild it, your business, rebuild it,
Speaker 1: your mind, rebuild it, your discipline, rebuild it, your name.
Speaker 1: Rebuild it because the world doesn't need another man who
Speaker 1: gave everything away. The world needs a man so committed
Speaker 1: to his mission that validation from women feels small compared
Speaker 1: to the mountain he's climbing. Third, confront the empty man inside,
Speaker 1: sit alone in silence, no phone, no distractions, no scrolling,
Speaker 1: just you and the man you've been running from. Write
Speaker 1: down every excuse you've used to waste your life, Face
Speaker 1: them one by one, because until you confront that emptiness,
Speaker 1: you will always run back to women to fill it,
Speaker 1: and no woman on earth can fill the void you
Speaker 1: refuse to face. Fourth, earn your own respect. First. Start
Speaker 1: doing hard things for you, not for her, not for applause,
Speaker 1: not for pity, not for validation. Wake up early, hit
Speaker 1: the gym, build your craft, keep your word, make promises
Speaker 1: to yourself, and keep them. Because a man who respects
Speaker 1: himself never needs to beg for respect from anyone else,
Speaker 1: not from women, not from friends, not from the world. Fifth,
Speaker 1: redefine what you want from women. Stop seeking comfort, stop
Speaker 1: seeking approval, stop seeking to be needed. Seek a partner
Speaker 1: who stands beside the man you already built on your own.
Speaker 1: Seek a woman who respects your mission, not one who
Speaker 1: becomes your mission. Because when you build yourself first, you'll
Speaker 1: stop attracting women who want to use you and start
Speaker 1: attracting women who want to follow you. And Lastly, guard
Speaker 1: your energy like your life depends on it, because it does.
Speaker 1: Stop pouring yourself out for people who would leave you empty.
Speaker 1: Stop investing your soul into relationships that only take, but
Speaker 1: never build with you. And here's your final action. Make
Speaker 1: to day the day you stop hiding behind excuses. Make
Speaker 1: to day the day you stop living for validation. Make
Speaker 1: to day the day you rebuild your life brick by brick,
Speaker 1: choice by choice, fight by fight, because no woman, no friend,
Speaker 1: no family member can give you the respect you refuse
Speaker 1: to earn for yourself