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Speaker 1: On location and driven by Victor Chrystlin, dot's chief Brown.

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It's Billified the Bill Moran Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Well, hello and welcome from the love capital of Rhinebeck,

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New York. I mean my mom's home. You can see

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all the things behind me, and there she is mah March.

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Last night we uh, we were people watching at the

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Beagman Arms, the oldest in in America.

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Speaker 1: And it's so much fun to go there. It's like

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this old it's almost like a speakeasy in the back.

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I mean it's not it's you know what I mean.

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It's quiet, it's nice. It's like you're tucked away. No

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one knows where you are. It's awesome. And bar Marge

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was disciplined and had one drink and I did not.

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I had to. I love I have to just say this.

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And I don't know where I got this from, and

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maybe you have a better insight, but I love to drink.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I love I absolutely, I just love it.

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I love the people. I love the events around it,

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like the games, like the socialization. You know, nothing makes

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me happier than when you go out for brunch and

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they say mimosas, mimosas. Yeah, all right, we'll have mimosas.

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Oh it's bottomless mimosas today, and you practically, you know,

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get so excited. It's so much fun. But my mother said,

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as she sat down, I don't know what we're going

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to talk about, and oh, yeah, here, and I said, oh,

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I don't like to tell you because I don't want

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you to overthink things, because you have a tendency to

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do that. But what I would say is, this will

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be fun. This will be very interesting and insightful. And

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I think, no, I did, Why are you nervous? Yes,

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you are my mom who rebuilt her house after burned down,

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rebuilt her life after thirty five years of marriage, raised

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three kids, ran a department, and is still teaching at

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seventy nine years old. Right, well, you're going to be

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teaching a class for adult learners at Bard College, which

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I think is still one of the most expensive universities

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in the United States. And for people who haven't heard

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about it, if you watch the Chevy Chase and it's Chevy,

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you idiot. As I interviewed him once and I burst

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out laughing, I think I just get that guy, like

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I really do, because everybody said to me afterwards that

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interview would have tanked had you not. And I go, yeah,

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he wasn't. That's that's funny. That's a funny thing that

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he said. But it's in there. He went to bard.

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I don't know that he finished. I think he dropped out,

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but it's in there. So, But you were going to

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be teaching a class for adult learners on listening, which

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I think is maybe one of the most important skills

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you can have, and if you could develop it at

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twenty five, it would be such such a nice thing.

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But for you, what is the difference between hearing and

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truly listening? And pull that microphone a little bit closer

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to you. You don't have to if you just yeah.

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Speaker 3: Well, hearing's more physical mechanics. Yeah, Listening it's more into emotional,

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right and intellectual and if you're really listening, your empathizer

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with the listener with the speaker.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So listening is a validation, yes, when you think

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about it. And I even wonder if that helps people

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with like their nervous system regulation of things. I mean,

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when you think about a child who isn't listened to,

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what do they do? They get loud, then they get

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your attention one way or another, right, And I think

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that's that's the uh, well, sure, And I mean there

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is something about when we feel truly heard. I even

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think that like when you're not really listening in a marriage,

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you know, and you're hearing but not listening. And I

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think like most guys here and then they try to

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fix instead of listen, right, Yes, And I really do.

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And I think that listening, I mean this is where

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arguments dissolve some time into name calling, which is always

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the intellectual eject button on anything, and it's hard to

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recover from that. I think that it leads to, like

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our political division, no one's really listening to anybody anymore.

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There's a lot of shouting on social media and things

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that we hear. I don't know. I would say listening

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is regulation.

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Speaker 3: And then that's a big thing when people are trying

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to fix it and somebody else is just trying to

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say sometimes they just need a place to talk, they

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need somebody to listen to them. And you know, I've

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spent my life in teaching communication skills. Most of it

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was on the other end, helping people speak correctly, but

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to do that, you know, I also saw it listening.

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And I used to with the kids talk about whole

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body listening, so you need to tend with your eyes.

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You need to be looking at the person. You need

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to be tuned in, so you need to be centered,

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calm down, focused.

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Speaker 1: So all of that, all that does come into play.

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Let me ask you about like the neurodivergent, for example,

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which is the term we'll tell you say about kids

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with the Autis's spectrum disorder or anything. Because I spent

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a lot of time with a young man who has

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some issues. I won't go into where they are, but

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often it's like doing something else while the teacher's teaching,

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but will look at me and answer the question that

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is asked to the class. I just want to for

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some it's that way. I would think, like there are

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physical signings that you're tuned in and listening, and I

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think as an adult, you know you need to learn

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those or give the respect, especially in relationships and things.

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And and I don't even mean romantic relationships. Yeah, yeah, imptant, yeah,

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because I think if you don't feel heard at some times,

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you don't feel safe, would that be you know what

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I mean? You almost feel especially in a relationship. And

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I do think like what was a silly book that

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used to came out years ago, and then there's some

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truth through it. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus,

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you know, and everybody. It became a joke, it became

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something some people took it very seriously, but there was

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some value I think in there, and especially from the

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male side of well, I have to fix something, and

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the more emotional side is like exactly what you said,

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which is what therapy would be. Person centered therapy would

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be listening and not trying to fix, you know, let

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you find the solution your off.

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Speaker 3: A lot of times, like in relationships and with men,

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especially their hearing, they are hearing, and so it looks

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to the speaker that they're not listening, but they've heard,

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you know, if you question them on it. So but

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then you know it's making the speaker comfortable too, is

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another responsibility of the listeners.

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Speaker 1: The house that we were raised in that dad had built,

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primarily built most of it, it burned out. And what

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was the first thought when you when you saw the house,

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like after you come back and it was just ashes

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in the foundation in the basement, you know, because we

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had all come down and uh, what what did you

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I mean, what was that first thought when you saw that? Well,

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I don't know. I'm thinking in the aftermath, but even

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when it is happening, because you were trying to get

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the car out, and that's screaming get out, get out,

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get out, and you're gonna go get the car, back

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it out.

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Speaker 3: And then well, yeah, Dad was downstairs and had said

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you have to get out right away and clone nine

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one one. There were only weren't cell phones that big

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in that day. So I somehow had the house phone

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and I'm calling nine one one. And then I had

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just come in from yoga and I was in the

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crappiest clothes possible, and I decided, well, we both need jackets.

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Well I pulled out.

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Speaker 1: Old yeah time, what time? You hear? It was this

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I don't remember everywhere February Okay, yeah.

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Speaker 3: It was very cold out. It was snow all over

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the ground, and I so then I'm like not seeing

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the flames right, and they're under me. So I'm thinking.

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I had a new job and all the testing for

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the kindergartens school district was in the back of my car.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 3: We did this quarterly test, a lot of the listening

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skills and all, so I thought, I'll go through the garage.

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So you as I'm going through the dining room, which

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we entered the garage through, the lights went it. The

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flames were raging under me, but I didn't know it.

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And so I went to put up the garage door

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and only went up a little bit because the electricity

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went out. So I'm going down, coats in my hand

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and all, and I go down the stairs because you

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went down into the garage, and I said, do we

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take the car and just drive it? I would have

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ram it through.

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Speaker 1: Well.

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Speaker 3: Dad was standing there, so so it was a good

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thing I did. I crawled under and he goes, oh

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my god, we're worrying, and he said, we have to

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run down this driveway and he said the window is

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going to blow. And we weren't to the bottom of

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the driveway that the windows started blowing out there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean that's a yeah. So, oh,

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you come real close to your own mortality in that.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, when I think about standing over that

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dining room, Oh, when I think of what that would

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have felt like, that floor cleft. Yeah, and everything did

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clapse and went right into the basement and it was minutes. Yeah,

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maybe less I don't know, but anyway, I got out

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and the car burned and the school district we were fine.

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There's nothing that taught you, and that that was the thing.

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I think. I was even the bottom of that driveway

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and I realized everything else is replaceable. Everything. I remember

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really being hit by that that here we were standing there,

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we had good jobs, we had in terms, somehow this

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would be taken care of, and then we were a

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mess together. And I really thought that we could now

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work together and pull this back together, our own relationship,

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because everything was taken away. I mean there was nothing.

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Speaker 1: No. I was yeah, because I was going to ask you,

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what does it teach you about attachments? And I think

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he just said it everything is replaceable. Yeah, yeah, I

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mean there are certain things like the pictures and stuff.

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Speaker 3: The pictures in the videos, those were the things of

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you guys growing up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, those are the things I think would be hard.

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Speaker 3: I had antique things of that my mother had given me,

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of her mother's and that stuff was gone. It was

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a beautiful butter dish and you know it's gone. And

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I remember saying to her, now hold it for a while,

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and what she did, because but yeah, you realized that.

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And I remember when the psychologists in school, he meant well,

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but he kept following me around. He thought I should

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be a wreck. He thought I should be a mess. Yeah,

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and I was really okay because you know, we just

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started putting it back together in and none of you

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guys were there.

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Speaker 1: You were all adults I had, I mean, I'm not

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sure were the U I had kids. Yes, you know,

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Jackson and Jordan were around.

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Speaker 3: So and you all came down. Yeah, you know, we

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got settled into a condo and we get preoccupied with

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building that hand.

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Speaker 1: How many years were you matter? Thirty eight was it?

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I remember we had the thirty fifth.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so it was about thirty eight when we did separate.

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Speaker 1: Was Lee leaving harder than staying?

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Speaker 3: Staying?

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Speaker 1: Was?

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Speaker 3: Probably all the years in between. And I'm only talking

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for myself. I'm sure, yeah, you know, h it was hard.

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But I was scared, Yeah, you know I was. I

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didn't think I could do it. I didn't think I

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was strong enough to do it, and I I certainly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so what it is?

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Speaker 3: So, but when the final breaking point came, the it

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was easier, it was it was better at that point

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to be alone.

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Speaker 1: Then it's I'm thinking about like you know, a lot

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of times I think there are maybe it's men because

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I'm a guy, and you know, but men, men feel

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stuck in a certain relationship. And don't know, I think

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this is a very relatable thing here. But your sixty

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plus at that point, what what did you learn about

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yourself in that situation that I.

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Speaker 3: Could have done this and I could have done it

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all along?

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Speaker 1: You know? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: And oh you know you say guys feel stuck. Women

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feel stuck. Oh, sure, you know, because a lot of women. Well,

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I was raised with the idea that the man's head

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of the family, the man takes care of everything, right,

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you know, which I never complied to. I remember my

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dad saying to me, so you're working for a little

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while now. I think it was after you were born,

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Billy or maybe Katie. I had gone back and he

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said to help Bill out. And I was like, wait

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a minute, I have a career here, And I said, not, Dad,

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I have a career. I trained to do this stuff.

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I love doing it, and I'm working for that. You know.

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So a lot of women feel stuck. A lot of

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women are and they couldn't support themselves, and so they're

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very stocking situations. They can't get.

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Speaker 1: What's surprised you at dating later in life because you're

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sixty something years old and it was thought it was

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I mean, I had no problem with that at all.

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I thought it was great.

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Speaker 3: It was kind of fun. It was kind of neat

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to see that you still could attract people.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Sure, and there were a lot of good times, you know, Yeah,

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I had a lot of good times. And each person

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brings something different. But now I think you look at

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it and you realize, you know, I'm not giving up

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what I have right, a lot of my independence, a

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lot of freedom. So getting married again is fine for

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some people, but I think you have to look at

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the whole pictures. So and then you see you can

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you're not there's an independence there, so you're not involved

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with that other person. So even sometimes when they make

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remarks and things work with your husband and I know, oh,

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I was like this, Oh stop, you know, don't hey.

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Speaker 1: That's it. That's funny. Yeah, that is very funny. Wow

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that I kind of like that. I saw an Instagram

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reel that I thought was maybe spot on, and it's

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from a woman's point of view and she's like a

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single mom. She goes, you know, I just want a

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part time boyfriend that will be there when I want

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him to be and we'll do what I want to do,

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and he'll see nobody else, but he'll be available whenever

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I want. But he can't see you know, I want

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him to myself, but I just want him when I

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want him. And I thought, yeah, I could totally see

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why that ideal would be nice, right, because you just

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don't want the bullshit of stuff. And I think I

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say often as a joke, you know when we talk

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about unconditional loving things, you leave your socks on the floor,

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you know, those little tiny annoyances. You know, sharing a

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bathroom with a man is probably way grosser than sharing

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it with a woman, or vice versa. I don't know.

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So you you know, you walk in, there's hair in

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the sink, there's this, there's that, or there's hair in

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the drain. I don't know. I would say, you know

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everything you've kind of talked about here. Reinvention is not

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a young person's game. This is not or only a

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young person's game. I think a lot of time we think, well,

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you can reinvent yourself. No, I think you should always

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be trying to better yourself or do something. I'm not

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sure about reinvent, but you know, even the starting over thing,

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I think all that's overwhelming and scary.

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Speaker 3: It is, but I think, as I said, we limit

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our so we let ourselves be scared. Yeah, and I

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think they are again more self love, more realism in

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your abilities or confidence in yourself.

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Speaker 1: You are a master level reiki as well I am.

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And what is reiki like in I guess in simple terms,

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we'll call it layman terms, so to speak.

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Speaker 3: It's working on the body, the chakras of the body

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to let energy flow, and everything is made of energy,

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and people are realizing that more and more and more

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science is valid all over the place. So it helps people.

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It doesn't do anything. Reiki is not to cure you,

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you know, it's not. You have an illness, you can

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and have reiki.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 3: Reiki is just to let your body and we have

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magnificent bodies that can heal themselves in many, many ways.

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So reiki is to let your body relax, let the

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chakras open, let the energy flow, and let you be

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better able to heal yourself your body to be more

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in balanced.

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Speaker 1: Is presence healing?

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Speaker 3: Oh, I think so. Yeah, yeah, I think being in

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the moment. You know, we're always looking at the past

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or worried about what's going to happen in the future,

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but the moments we have, like I'm just thinking, this

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has been such a nice weekend. It was a short

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week with you, but the moments. Being in the present

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for those moments was a present it was and we

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have those all the time, right, like waking up in

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the morning and looking at at the sunshine, but being

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present to see that, not waking up, oh I gotta

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do this again, but taking those moments. So that's where

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I think meditation really helps. Just gratitude, practicing gratitude, and

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it's easy, it's simple.

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Speaker 1: What are you still learning?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think you ever stepped learning. I'm learning

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that and we fall back all the time. So yesterday morning,

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I woke up, I wasn't feeling that great, and I

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was anticipating doing trying to get everybody together for that

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podcast because it's a group I'm with and and we

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were doing everybody was doing it from their homes. I

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was worried about all of that, and then I didn't

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like the way my hair looked, and I was just

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you know, and then I thought, so then the day progressed,

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and once that podcast was over, I felt so relieved

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and it went well. And then we had such a

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nice afternoon taking a walk and then you know, stepping

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at the Beakman Arms, which we absolutely enjoy so much,

348
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and then nice dinner and you were working and it

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just you know. So when I got up this morning,

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I changed my attention completely because in fact, I'm going

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to this party and I was, I love who it's

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for this afternoon, and then she tells me she sits

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me at a table where I don't know anybody, because

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I'll handle it basically, Oh my god. And then this

355
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morning I went, you know what, look at it this way.

356
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That's going to be fun. And you know what, you're

357
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going to wash your hair and blow it out and

358
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it's gonna come out. You're gonna really like it today.

359
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And so I set that attention and what difference?

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Speaker 1: So you do.

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Speaker 3: Learn and and you know, I think we're human, so

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you're gonna have to keep going back and doing those things.

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Speaker 1: We are in a human experience, and I think sometimes

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we would look at all these things like, uh, if

365
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I do this, it'll fix everything. Or these woo woo

366
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things are you're you're in a human body having a

367
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human experience, and you can, you know, kind of kind

368
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of go the other way. And life's never gonna stop

369
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coming at you. But you don't have to look at

370
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it as because that even sounds uh disastrous. Life's never

371
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gonna stop coming at you, you know what I mean,

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It's like a ninety mile an hour fastball. Right. Well,

373
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what what do older people? Older people get wrong about aging?

374
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Speaker 3: I think probably worrying too much about where they're gonna

375
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wind up and what's gonna happen. And again, if we

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could stay in the moment, you have to do you

377
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have to set things. I mean, I'm now in a

378
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condominium that I own and I love and it's a

379
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better place to be than so you have to do

380
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all of those things and get them in place. But

381
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then I think you always have to keep having fun,

382
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being involved, being involved, and you know, having a lot

383
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of volunteering is a wonderful thing because you just get

384
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so much more out of volunteering, and there's so many

385
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places and so many people that can use help. And

386
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I think just being aware of the people around you.

387
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But I think that's the thing isolation. When people stop

388
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leaving their homes, you know, they're worried about things, and

389
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so that's I think the biggest thing probably the worrying

390
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and stop engage and stopping being engaged. I think lifetime

391
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learning is important. I think keeping up any kind of activities, knitting, groups,

392
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:04,839
so in groups, dancing, you know, being social.

393
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's really really important. And like you know,

394
00:22:08,319 --> 00:22:10,839
you could even see it in you and Dad, the

395
00:22:10,839 --> 00:22:14,720
difference that was there for a certain thing. What do

396
00:22:14,759 --> 00:22:18,000
you think so younger people like, we we look at

397
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:21,519
getting older, but what do we misunderstand about getting older?

398
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Speaker 3: Maybe I think I haven't experienced this too much, but

399
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,839
I think some of the people said that all of

400
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:35,839
a sudden, the younger well this would be their own children, right,

401
00:22:36,599 --> 00:22:40,000
are telling them now what to do, you know, and

402
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:45,440
treating them like they're less than. So I think one

403
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:47,839
of the things for younger people to understand is you

404
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,440
need to assess, you need to see where your parents

405
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,680
are at sure, and then but then the other thing

406
00:22:54,599 --> 00:22:57,480
is but let them be who they are and let

407
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them The other thing is just in general, with all

408
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,839
the people, I think you need to realize all the

409
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:07,440
wisdom people can bring yeah, and I think talk to

410
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,079
them more, you know, and if you have some kind

411
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:12,359
of a group, asked them to come join their group,

412
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even play groups. We have a playgroup that's here and

413
00:23:16,559 --> 00:23:18,680
they're looking for like grandmothers to come read to the

414
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little kids.

415
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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a great.

416
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Speaker 3: Thing, you know. But there's a lot of wisdom that

417
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can be shared.

418
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Speaker 1: That's very interesting because as you were saying, I go,

419
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:34,319
you know, there's wisdom versus information, right, and sometimes we

420
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can all absorb information, but then how do you apply it?

421
00:23:37,839 --> 00:23:40,279
And that's where wisdom is. How do I fit this

422
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,759
into my life or whatever it is? Well, is there

423
00:23:43,759 --> 00:23:52,599
anything that you wish you understood better? Let's say at forty,

424
00:23:52,759 --> 00:23:55,599
I know, or we could say your younger self to

425
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,480
now you know.

426
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Speaker 3: Yes, I would really have like to said, you know,

427
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,680
things are gonna be okay, they're gonna work out fun.

428
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:09,799
You need to relax, and you need to really be

429
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,799
who you are and you need to love yourself more.

430
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, so that you can be better for every Yeah,

431
00:24:17,759 --> 00:24:20,440
and be better for everybody around you. That's uh, that's good.

432
00:24:20,519 --> 00:24:22,839
The uh yeah, I mean you know you think about

433
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:27,319
even energy and relationships where you're worrying. That's an energy, right,

434
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,960
and and then that's picked up on and you know,

435
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,720
you start this dance and the dance becomes the same

436
00:24:33,759 --> 00:24:36,319
thing over and over again, and I like it. I

437
00:24:36,319 --> 00:24:38,319
think a lot of what you're saying to me is

438
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:42,440
like aging without shrinking, yeah right where you know, while

439
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,640
I really can't do that anymore or physically, I'm just

440
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,519
gonna stay here. I'm not gonna age without shrinking. I mean,

441
00:24:47,559 --> 00:24:48,599
that's that's a big thing.

442
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Speaker 3: So you have to adapt to you know, I no

443
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:51,720
longer want to get on my bike.

444
00:24:52,039 --> 00:24:55,039
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'll go out walking, sure.

445
00:24:54,960 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 3: And you know, do lots of other things. Traveling, Yeah,

446
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,000
traveling is very important if you can do it.

447
00:25:02,079 --> 00:25:05,279
Speaker 1: Yeah. You went to Milan last year, last summer, last fall,

448
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,720
Le's fall. Yeah yeah, and now the Olympics are in Milan.

449
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 3: And that's been so much fun to watch.

450
00:25:11,599 --> 00:25:15,920
Speaker 1: Is there anything that you're still working on? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,

451
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:16,799
what would that be?

452
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 3: Well?

453
00:25:17,839 --> 00:25:24,519
Speaker 1: See really, yeah, you got a you went to college,

454
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right to an all girls college, coming from a home

455
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:31,519
where that wasn't really supported. No, I mean I can

456
00:25:31,559 --> 00:25:35,200
say supported. It did happen, but but it wasn't popular.

457
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It wasn't.

458
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Speaker 3: It was not popular, and I think in so many

459
00:25:38,319 --> 00:25:40,599
ways I really cannive my way into that one.

460
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:45,319
Speaker 1: Well yeah, but that's a confidence that you can do it, yes, right,

461
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:48,720
And then the masters and then the running your department,

462
00:25:48,799 --> 00:25:52,400
getting a private license to do therapy when you used

463
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:56,319
to do stuttering therapy with people, and early intervention early

464
00:25:56,359 --> 00:26:00,200
intervention stuff. So really confidence, well in one area.

465
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,359
Speaker 3: New areas, like I have never really taught adults, so

466
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,559
I'm looking at that, yeah, to possibly do that in

467
00:26:06,599 --> 00:26:10,000
the fall, and designing your course and putting that together.

468
00:26:10,039 --> 00:26:13,880
And I think these learning new things with the computer

469
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,279
and all, because I can get overwhelmed with that stuff.

470
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But so I think working on the confidence that I

471
00:26:19,559 --> 00:26:21,759
can figure this out. You know, even when I got

472
00:26:21,759 --> 00:26:24,160
the new car, it was like whoa right because my

473
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,960
other car was twelve years old. So the difference in

474
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,640
this car in that car was amazing.

475
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:34,400
Speaker 1: I think this is great.

476
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 3: And then confidence because I think society often thinks they're older.

477
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,960
You know, that happened there, so you often think, I

478
00:26:44,039 --> 00:26:48,079
want to be very cautious in the car too, because

479
00:26:48,079 --> 00:26:49,279
if you're an accent.

480
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:55,039
Speaker 1: Oh well yeah. I think that there is maybe a

481
00:26:55,039 --> 00:27:00,400
certain point in society. I never felt this way. I

482
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:05,240
can't say that they don't care what people think. And

483
00:27:05,279 --> 00:27:07,480
then obviously things like what other people's opinions on me

484
00:27:07,559 --> 00:27:10,359
or none of my business. But it's not that I don't.

485
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:14,359
I never cared. I just never let it kind of

486
00:27:14,559 --> 00:27:19,319
stop me. And I've never felt where I've heard women

487
00:27:19,759 --> 00:27:26,319
my age say you become invisible in society. I don't

488
00:27:26,319 --> 00:27:31,240
know if that's changing now a little bit because you're

489
00:27:31,319 --> 00:27:34,319
you know, and then there are certain segments of oh, yeah,

490
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:36,640
you know, there's married and unmarried. I would be out

491
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,480
seeing more of the social life that goes on. And

492
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:44,200
also many people my age, their kids are in college

493
00:27:44,559 --> 00:27:49,359
or out, So yeah, I don't. I've never felt that way.

494
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,799
I've never felt invisible. I never felt I never felt

495
00:27:51,799 --> 00:27:54,599
like I didn't fit in anywhere. I really didn't. I

496
00:27:54,599 --> 00:27:57,559
always felt like I could walk into a country club

497
00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,880
and fit in there, and I could walk into a

498
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,079
garage and talk to the guys there, and I just

499
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,559
felt like I fit in everywhere. I guess I just

500
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,400
I just never did. And I know that, like you know,

501
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:14,119
people don't like this because there's often the term white privilege,

502
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:15,799
and I know a lot of guys will go, well,

503
00:28:15,839 --> 00:28:18,119
what do you mean. I had to work my ass off,

504
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:19,480
I had to do this, I had to do that.

505
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:22,839
And it isn't so much that I think. It's like

506
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:28,839
you have a you're more accepted, so when you go

507
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,920
in there, you're more accepted in certain places, you know.

508
00:28:33,599 --> 00:28:37,000
I mean, And I think that I would say, like,

509
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,440
I know, people profile and we hear I'm supposed to

510
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,079
profile and you shouldn't do this, but I go, it's

511
00:28:41,119 --> 00:28:43,640
sort of our animal instinct and you get it. I mean,

512
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:47,839
I remember, you know, brother, we he's white guy covered

513
00:28:47,839 --> 00:28:51,039
in tattoos, right, He's coming back, had his boat up

514
00:28:51,039 --> 00:28:53,480
in Ontario, was going to let the kids and everybody

515
00:28:53,519 --> 00:28:56,000
stay there, and he's going to run home. And what

516
00:28:56,079 --> 00:28:58,839
he's bringing home are these oversized pillows that are just

517
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:02,079
on the boat, taking up too much space. He's going

518
00:29:02,119 --> 00:29:05,000
through with another guy in the car that is also

519
00:29:05,039 --> 00:29:06,839
as tattooed as he is. They get him to tattooed

520
00:29:06,839 --> 00:29:08,920
poler together. Now, just to just tell you the story,

521
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,440
they get pulled over at the border and they and

522
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,440
the border security is ripping open the pillows looking for

523
00:29:16,519 --> 00:29:20,160
cocaine because these guys, do you understand, so again, it's

524
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:23,240
like what fits you know, your thing, and my thing

525
00:29:23,359 --> 00:29:26,799
was I felt like like I could walk in anywhere.

526
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:32,519
I was never suspected of anything nefarious. I really wasn't.

527
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:38,039
Maybe a little bit, but not, you know, nothing, I could.

528
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:40,559
I walked it everywhere, and I just always had fun.

529
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:44,960
I for the most part, I don't know. We'll wrap

530
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,680
it up here. I would close it by saying, I

531
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:52,799
think that most people want to be understood. Yeah, and

532
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:57,240
I think very few sometimes are willing to understand. And

533
00:29:57,319 --> 00:29:59,680
I think that may be part of our problem, even

534
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:06,440
in in a collective thing. And maybe that's why I

535
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,880
would say, it's seventy nine, you're still growing, right, I mean,

536
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:13,400
not the not the shrinking flower, not the one. And

537
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,039
maybe the goal isn't to be heard, but maybe the

538
00:30:16,039 --> 00:30:20,759
goal is to become someone worth listening to. Yeah, you know,

539
00:30:21,119 --> 00:30:23,200
someone worth listening to, to have the wisdom, to have

540
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:26,000
the life experience and to sort of slow down and

541
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:26,880
and uh, can.

542
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 3: I live in an excellent community here? Yeah, it's an

543
00:30:30,039 --> 00:30:34,920
aging is an aging population, but it's active, it's something

544
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:39,720
to do all the time. It's just and yet it's diverse,

545
00:30:40,039 --> 00:30:44,079
you know, sure, So it's wonderful very blessed.

546
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 1: Well, you are very blessed, and even have me who

547
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:51,440
comes to visit all those types of things for Mo.

548
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:56,880
Marge starting over and doing great. It's never too late.

549
00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:04,640
I'm Bill Moran, will see you Tomorrows to be needs

550
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:05,359
to produce