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Speaker 1: Don't reteal your woes. A miserable habit, it grows as

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it is fed, a nuisance to friends and neighbors, it

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brings to you more of the same kind. You will

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get what you look for. Looking for trouble brings it.

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Don't imagine that you are being put upon. Don't reteal

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your woes. Don't reteal your woes. Do you think that

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it does you any good to go around with a

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long face, telling your tale of woe to everyone whom

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you can induce to listen to you? Do you think

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that it does you any good? Do you think it

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helps you to overcome your troubles or makes your burden

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any lighter? No, I don't believe that you think any

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such things. All your experience teaches you that people don't

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like to listen to long drawn out tails of your troubles.

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They have enough of their own. Even those who are

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always ready to lend a helping hand and to give

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what aid they can to one who needs it. Resent

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being made targets for a continuous fusillade of troubles, woes, griefs,

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et cetera. And you know very well that a constant

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repetition of your own woes will only make them seem

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greater and more real to you. And then the chronic

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retailer of woe grows to be like the journalist, develops

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a keen scent for matter to be dished out to others.

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She needs it in her business. When one gets into

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this habit of caring about tales to her friends, she

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runs out of ready material and eagerly looks round for

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more with which to supply the demand. She becomes quite

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an adapt at discovering insults, sneers, double meaning remarks, et

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cetera on the part of her friends and relatives, where

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nothing of the kind was intended, And she rules these

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things over and over in her mind like sweet morsels,

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before she serves them up with appropriate trimmings to her listeners.

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You will notice that I say her in speaking of

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the victim of dis demoralizing habit, and some of my

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readers of that sex will undoubtedly take me to task

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for blaming it on the woman in instead of the men. Well,

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you all know my ideas about the equality of the sexes,

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about their being different, but one being as good as

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the other, with the odds a little in favor of

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the woman. But I feel justified in saying that this

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habit is one that seems to have a special liking

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for women, and it generally picks out a woman for

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its victim in preference to a man. When a man

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acquires this habit, he becomes such a nuisance to his

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friends and associates that sooner or later he will notice

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that they avoid him, and the chances are that some

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blunt fellow will tell him that he has no time

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for listening to tales of this kind, and that if he,

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the complainer, would display the same energy in attending to

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his business that he does to peddling around tales about

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how badly he has been used, he would not need

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any sympathy. But woman, God bless her, does not like

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to hurt the feelings of others in this way. She

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suffers the infliction in silence, and then tells her friends

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how she has been bored. She will listen to her

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whoe retaling friend and seem to sympathize with her and say, oh,

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isn't it dreadful?

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Speaker 2: How could she speak so harshly of you, you poor dear,

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How you must have suffered? How could he have treated

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you so unjustly?

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Speaker 1: And other things of that kind. But when the visitor goes,

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she yawns and says, dear me, if missus Groan would

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only try to say something more cheerful. She gives me

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the horrors with her tales about her husband, her relatives,

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her friends, and everybody else. But missus Groan never seems

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to see the point, and she adds to her list

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of people who have put upon her as she goes along,

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her tired out friends being added to the number as

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their patience wears out. And then the effect upon the

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woman herself. You know the effect of holding certain lines

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of thoughts, of autosuggestion, of the attractive power of thought.

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And you can readily see how this woman makes things

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worse for herself all the time. She goes around with

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her mind fixed upon the idea that everybody's hand is

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against her, and she carries about with her an aura

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that attracts to her all the unpleasant things in the neighborhood.

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She goes around looking for trouble, and of course she

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gets it. Did you ever notice a man or a

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woman looking for trouble? And how soon they found it?

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The man looking for a fight, it generally accommodated the

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woman looking for slights always gets them, whether the giver

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intends them or not. This sort of mental attitude fairly

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draws out the worse in those with whom we come

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in contact, and the predominant thought drows to itself all

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the corresponding thought within its radius. One who dwells upon

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the fancied fact that everybody is going around trying to

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injure him, treat him unkindly, sneer at him, slight him,

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and generally use him up is pretty sure to find

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that he has attracted to him enough people who will

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humor his fancy and give him what he expects in

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thought force. You will remember, I tell the story of

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the two dogs. The one dog, dignified and self respecting,

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whom no boy ever thinks of bothering. The other dog,

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who expects to be kicked by every passing boy, and

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who draws himself up and places his tail between his

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legs and actually suggests the cake to the passing boy.

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Of course, he gets kicked. It's wrong for the boy

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to do it, I know, But the dog's attitude is

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too much for the nature of the average boy. And

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grown ups are built upon the same plan. These people

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who are going around in the mental attitude which invites

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unkind treatment generally manage to find some one who will

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have his natural meanness drawn out to such a convenient

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lightning rod. And in fact such people often generate harsh

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feelings in persons who scarcely ever manifest them. Like attracts

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like in the world of thought, and one draws upon

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him the things he fears in many cases. But one

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of the most regrettable things about this woe retailing woman

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is the effect the habit has upon her own mind

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and character. When we understand how one is constantly building

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up character, adding a little every day, and that our

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thoughts of the day are the material which are going

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into our character structure, it will be seen that it

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is a matter of the greatest importance what kind of

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thoughts we think. Thoughts are not wasted. They not only

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go out in all directions, influencing others, attracting persons and

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things to ourselves, but they have a creative effect upon

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our own mind and character. Thought along a certain line

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will develop certain brain cells to a great extent, and

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the cells manifesting the contrary line of thought are allowed

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to dwindle away and shrivel up. Now, when we have

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our minds fixed upon the thought that we are long

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suffering mortals, and that everyone else is trying to do

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mean things to us, that we are not appreciated, and

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that those who should care most for us are only

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biding their time until they can hurt us. We are

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building up our minds along that line, and we find

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ourselves in the habit of looking for the worst in everybody,

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and we often manage to bring it to the surface,

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even if we have to dig hard for it. Some

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of this class of people seem to take a particular

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delight in bringing upon their head the harsh words and

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slights of others. Now I really mean this. I have

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seen people go around with that I'm a warm of

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the dust, please tread on me air, and the same

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expression as that in the eyes of the dog which

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expected to be kicked. And when somebody would be nagged

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into saying or doing something that they would not otherwise

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have thought of, the wool seeker's eyes would assume an

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expression of I told you so, and it's only poor me,

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and it's all I can expect. Everybody wishes to crush me,

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and a few other assorted thoughts of that kind. And

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then she will go to her room and moan and

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weep and dwell upon her miseries until they seem to

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be as large as a mountain. And then the first

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chance she gets, she'll run around the corner to a

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friend and will reteal all the new stock of wooes

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which she has accumulated with fancy trimmings. You may feel sure,

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and the friend will try hard to avoid showing that

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she's bored at the tale she has so often heard,

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but will say nice little things until the mourner is

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sure that the whole world sympathizes with her, and she

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feels a glow of righteous indignation, self pity, and martyrdom.

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Oh the pity of it all. These people go through

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the world making things harder for themselves, their friends, their relatives,

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and everyone else with whom they come in contact. They

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are constantly seeking to keep their stock fresh and attractive,

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and display more energy in their retailing than the average

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man or woman does in business. This thing of looking

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for trouble is a very unfortunate thing in families. As

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a rule, I think that woman gets the worse of

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it in family troubles. The economic position places her at

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a disadvantage and she often suffers all sorts of horrible

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things rather than have her troubles made public. But I

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must say that some women bring upon themselves all that

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they get. I have known them to get in a

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frame of mind in which they could see nothing but unkindness,

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where the utmost kindness was meant. Man is not an angel,

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far from it. But the attitude of some women is

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enough to bring out all the qualities other than angelic.

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They assume that they are put upon and live up

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to that idea. Every word that the man says is

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twisted and disorted into something entirely different from what he intended.

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The mental attitude produces moral astigmatism, and things are seen

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at the wrong angle. All the little things that happened

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are promptly retailed to some mischief making neighbor, who is

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in the game for the excitement it affords her, and

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who laughs at the wife behind her back and talks

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about her in turn to some third person. And the

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wife fairly draws upon herself all sorts of things that

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never would have happened otherwise. She knows that her neighbor

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is waiting for today's budget of news, and she almost

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unconsciously shapes things so that the facts justifying the news

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are forthcoming. Did you ever notice that woman who keeps

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her troubles to herself does not have nearly as much

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pickering and strife in her household as the one who

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has acquired the retailing habit. Don't retail your woes. Keep

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them to yourself and they will die. But spread them

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and they will grow like weeds. You are making things

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worse for yourself, are drawing things to you, and are

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spoiling your mind, disposition, and care character by this miserable

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business of retelling woes