WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.399 --> 00:00:06.280 Hello everyone, and welcome to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope, the 2 00:00:06.360 --> 00:00:10.640 Bible teaching ministry that's here to encourage and inspire you 3 00:00:10.919 --> 00:00:16.519 every day. And today we're continuing our series called Awesome Relationships. 4 00:00:16.839 --> 00:00:19.600 In it, Rick Warren shares practical. 5 00:00:19.079 --> 00:00:23.640 Ways to help you take your relationships with family, friends, 6 00:00:23.679 --> 00:00:28.480 co workers, and even God from ordinary to extraordinary. 7 00:00:28.800 --> 00:00:31.600 And this is a series you don't want to miss. 8 00:00:31.879 --> 00:00:34.079 Let's get right to Rick for part one of a 9 00:00:34.159 --> 00:00:37.200 message called fighting for an Awesome Family. 10 00:00:38.159 --> 00:00:42.240 I choose this word intentionally fighting because families are not 11 00:00:42.439 --> 00:00:44.119 awesome by accident. 12 00:00:45.960 --> 00:00:47.520 By accident, they're average. 13 00:00:48.200 --> 00:00:50.159 And you have to fight for your family if you 14 00:00:50.200 --> 00:00:52.600 want it to be a great family, because they're all 15 00:00:52.679 --> 00:00:56.719 kinds of forces working against your family in our society. 16 00:00:56.920 --> 00:00:57.039 Now. 17 00:00:57.079 --> 00:00:59.439 I'm not going to spend a minute detailing those I 18 00:00:59.439 --> 00:01:01.960 don't want to make a laundry list or a litany 19 00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:04.120 of all of the things that are working against the 20 00:01:04.159 --> 00:01:08.920 family today. But there are economic forces, there are spiritual forces, 21 00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:12.719 there are moral forces. There are cultural and social forces 22 00:01:12.920 --> 00:01:17.319 that want to destroy the idea of family and specifically 23 00:01:17.359 --> 00:01:21.120 your family. What I'm much more interested in is looking 24 00:01:21.200 --> 00:01:23.719 at the positive side, and that is how do you 25 00:01:23.799 --> 00:01:28.079 fight for an awesome family. You know, when the families 26 00:01:28.120 --> 00:01:31.400 of Jerusalem were under attack thousands of years ago, the 27 00:01:31.519 --> 00:01:35.719 leader Nehemiah said this. He said to the people, don't 28 00:01:35.719 --> 00:01:36.359 be afraid. 29 00:01:36.840 --> 00:01:38.799 Remember the Lord who is awesome. 30 00:01:38.879 --> 00:01:42.519 Everything's awesome, including God, and we're looking at awesome relationships. 31 00:01:42.599 --> 00:01:45.719 Remember the Lord who is awesome, and fight for your brothers, 32 00:01:45.760 --> 00:01:48.200 fight for your sons, fight for your daughters, fight for 33 00:01:48.239 --> 00:01:51.359 your wives, fight for your homes. He's saying, your family 34 00:01:52.680 --> 00:01:56.200 is worth fighting for. Don't just give up and say, well, 35 00:01:56.400 --> 00:01:58.480 it can't change, it can't be any different. 36 00:01:58.599 --> 00:01:59.239 It's too late. 37 00:01:59.280 --> 00:02:02.959 It's not too late, no matter where you are on 38 00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:05.719 the continuum of family, starting out or at the end, 39 00:02:05.879 --> 00:02:09.080 or helping a new family develop. No matter where you are, 40 00:02:09.159 --> 00:02:14.680 it's not too late to fight to make your family better. Now, 41 00:02:14.800 --> 00:02:16.800 what I want to share with you today is not 42 00:02:16.879 --> 00:02:20.759 just from God's word, but from forty years of counseling families, 43 00:02:21.879 --> 00:02:24.960 and I have discovered, after talking to thousands of thousand families, 44 00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:28.319 that you can find four common traits in families that. 45 00:02:28.280 --> 00:02:29.400 Are really awesome. 46 00:02:29.800 --> 00:02:32.199 And we're going to look at those today and in 47 00:02:32.280 --> 00:02:34.759 order to help you remember these four traits of an 48 00:02:34.759 --> 00:02:37.039 awesome family. Whether you are a brother or a sister 49 00:02:37.120 --> 00:02:39.240 and a family, or you're a mother or father, or 50 00:02:39.280 --> 00:02:42.639 you're a child, or whatever you are, these are four 51 00:02:42.680 --> 00:02:46.039 things that make an awesome family. And the first symbol 52 00:02:46.199 --> 00:02:52.199 of an awesome family is this board game called Candyland. 53 00:02:52.400 --> 00:02:55.280 How many of you remember the board game Candyland? How 54 00:02:55.319 --> 00:02:58.240 many of you played this game Candyland? How many of 55 00:02:58.319 --> 00:03:00.319 you wish you never have to play it again? 56 00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:01.520 Yeah? 57 00:03:01.719 --> 00:03:05.080 Yeah, all the hands of preschool moms just went up, 58 00:03:05.159 --> 00:03:08.560 just now. Doesn't require a whole lot of intelligence to 59 00:03:08.599 --> 00:03:11.400 play this game. In fact, it says ages three years 60 00:03:11.400 --> 00:03:15.680 an up. It's a pure game of chance. But why 61 00:03:15.719 --> 00:03:20.479 does the game Candyland represent awesome families? Here's the first reason, 62 00:03:20.520 --> 00:03:25.520 write it down. Awesome families are playful. It's the first 63 00:03:25.840 --> 00:03:29.439 common denominator of great families. They know how to play, 64 00:03:29.639 --> 00:03:33.759 they know how to fun, have fun, They enjoy life together. 65 00:03:34.120 --> 00:03:37.840 This is a missing ingredient in so many families today. Today, 66 00:03:37.879 --> 00:03:41.360 our families are too busy, too tired, too negative, to 67 00:03:41.520 --> 00:03:45.800 worn out, and too serious. Who wants to come home 68 00:03:45.879 --> 00:03:51.240 from school to that? Families should be fun. The average 69 00:03:51.319 --> 00:03:54.960 family is all work and no play. It's just getting 70 00:03:55.000 --> 00:04:00.000 us to the next appointment. Awesome families are fun. Awesome 71 00:04:00.159 --> 00:04:04.000 families are playful. Now at October, you know, we had 72 00:04:04.039 --> 00:04:07.120 tens of thousands of kids here at the Lake Forest campus. 73 00:04:07.319 --> 00:04:09.319 So I decided to do a little kid on the 74 00:04:09.319 --> 00:04:12.680 street interviews and today I'm gonna share with you some 75 00:04:12.719 --> 00:04:13.360 of the results. 76 00:04:13.400 --> 00:04:16.600 And one of the questions I asked kids was what. 77 00:04:18.199 --> 00:04:21.439 What fun things does your family like to do together? 78 00:04:22.319 --> 00:04:23.680 And watch these answers. 79 00:04:28.839 --> 00:04:31.199 I like to spend time on them and girstoning. I 80 00:04:31.360 --> 00:04:34.879 guess like to play with my family, go to parties 81 00:04:34.959 --> 00:04:38.839 and try a fun places. I like to go to 82 00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:42.360 a lego round is right right, play soccer. 83 00:04:42.399 --> 00:04:45.639 Lo to de be, make jokes, make jokes. 84 00:04:46.160 --> 00:04:48.680 I like to help my mom cook, go to the 85 00:04:48.720 --> 00:04:52.160 skate park, hopefully tennis. I like to go bike riding 86 00:04:52.480 --> 00:04:57.600 and surfing with sometimes being cookies, uh, play tad. I 87 00:04:57.759 --> 00:05:01.439 like to do crafts. We like see cars, Disneyland, go 88 00:05:01.480 --> 00:05:07.079 to Disneyland, go to Disneyland, go to Disneyland, open places 89 00:05:07.160 --> 00:05:10.720 with my family at my booth Day and Christmas, go 90 00:05:10.839 --> 00:05:14.000 to church and we have family dinners and family Bible studies. 91 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:15.639 So sometimes I like to. 92 00:05:15.560 --> 00:05:18.360 Go bullying and go here bullying, and what. 93 00:05:18.800 --> 00:05:23.879 Go to saddleback church and saddleback church. Oh, sure of great, Yeah, 94 00:05:24.040 --> 00:05:27.720 that kid's going to be a pastor. That's my new intern, 95 00:05:27.800 --> 00:05:29.240 little pastor Rick right there. 96 00:05:30.519 --> 00:05:30.759 Now. 97 00:05:30.800 --> 00:05:33.680 The fact is, your family is not a boot camp, 98 00:05:34.480 --> 00:05:38.879 and parents are not drill sergeants, and your family is 99 00:05:38.920 --> 00:05:44.439 not a business, and parents are not CEOs, and your 100 00:05:44.480 --> 00:05:48.240 family is not a laboratory experiment, and your parents are 101 00:05:48.279 --> 00:05:51.959 not research scientists experimenting and go, let's add a little this, 102 00:05:52.040 --> 00:05:54.000 little this, We're going to make the perfect little child. 103 00:05:54.240 --> 00:05:57.639 There is no perfect child, and there is no perfect family, 104 00:05:58.480 --> 00:06:01.160 and there is no science to being a family. 105 00:06:02.319 --> 00:06:05.240 It's an art. It's an art, but. 106 00:06:05.160 --> 00:06:07.120 The Bible has a lot to say about it. And 107 00:06:07.160 --> 00:06:08.879 one of the things that I say is that families 108 00:06:08.879 --> 00:06:12.279 are supposed to be fun. Most people know that the 109 00:06:12.279 --> 00:06:14.839 Bible teaches we're supposed to work, and the Bible tells 110 00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:17.040 us that we're to work hard, and the Bible says 111 00:06:17.040 --> 00:06:19.680 that if we're lazy, we shouldn't even eat. Work is 112 00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:22.399 an important part of your life. But most people don't 113 00:06:22.399 --> 00:06:25.079 know that the Bible says that play is an important 114 00:06:25.079 --> 00:06:28.279 part of your life, and play is essential to adults, 115 00:06:28.639 --> 00:06:33.120 not just a children. In fact, play is connected to creativity. 116 00:06:33.319 --> 00:06:35.759 The more play you have in life, the more creative 117 00:06:35.759 --> 00:06:38.399 you're going to be. If you don't have anything play, 118 00:06:38.519 --> 00:06:41.199 any fun in your life, you're not a very creative person. 119 00:06:41.560 --> 00:06:45.199 All work, no play makes Jack a dull boy. And 120 00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:48.000 so you need to have fun in your life. And 121 00:06:48.040 --> 00:06:51.680 the Bible talks about this and actually commands it. Let 122 00:06:51.680 --> 00:06:55.480 me show you some scriptures. This first section is from Ecclesiastes, 123 00:06:55.519 --> 00:06:59.120 written by Solomon, who is the wisest man who ever lived. 124 00:06:59.160 --> 00:07:00.639 God said, what do you want? He said, I want 125 00:07:00.639 --> 00:07:02.000 to be the wisest man I ever lived. God said, 126 00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:04.759 I'll answer that request. So let's look at some verses 127 00:07:04.759 --> 00:07:11.120 Ecclesiastes eight fifteen. Solomon says, I commend the enjoyment of life. 128 00:07:11.160 --> 00:07:13.000 Circle the word enjoyment. 129 00:07:14.399 --> 00:07:17.319 As I said, we know that play is extremely important development. 130 00:07:17.399 --> 00:07:20.199 In fact, we've known for years that play is essential 131 00:07:20.240 --> 00:07:24.879 to preschoolers. For preschoolers, play is work. They're actually developing 132 00:07:24.920 --> 00:07:28.839 when they play, and recess is not a waste of time. 133 00:07:29.279 --> 00:07:33.000 Recess kids are developing as much at recess as they 134 00:07:33.079 --> 00:07:35.879 are sitting down with a book open or things like that. 135 00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:39.360 Paul says, up here on the screen. Look at this 136 00:07:39.480 --> 00:07:44.120 verse one Timothy six seventeen. God generously gives us everything 137 00:07:44.240 --> 00:07:48.079 for our What did you realize that everything in the 138 00:07:48.079 --> 00:07:50.560 world God created, he and created for you to enjoy. 139 00:07:50.759 --> 00:07:55.480 Now listen, God wants life to be enjoyed, not merely endured, 140 00:07:55.800 --> 00:08:00.079 and a lot of you are simply enduring life. God 141 00:08:00.240 --> 00:08:03.240 wants you to enjoy life. The wisest man who ever lives, 142 00:08:03.240 --> 00:08:07.079 Solomon says, I recommend, I commend the enjoyment of life. 143 00:08:07.199 --> 00:08:10.399 God says everything I created for enjoyment. If you're too 144 00:08:10.439 --> 00:08:15.480 busy to enjoy life, you're too busy. God meant for 145 00:08:15.519 --> 00:08:19.480 you to play and to have some fun. Ecclesiastes eleven seven. 146 00:08:20.519 --> 00:08:25.240 People ought to enjoy every day, not just on a weekend, 147 00:08:25.319 --> 00:08:27.959 not just vacation. Ought to enjoy every day of their lives, 148 00:08:28.279 --> 00:08:30.720 no matter how long they live. Now, why is that 149 00:08:30.759 --> 00:08:32.720 important that you enjoy every day? Because you don't know 150 00:08:32.720 --> 00:08:35.360 how long you're gonna live. You don't know if you've 151 00:08:35.399 --> 00:08:37.440 got next week, next month, you don't know if you've 152 00:08:37.480 --> 00:08:40.879 got tomorrow, you don't know if you've got tonight. So 153 00:08:40.960 --> 00:08:43.200 whatever living you're gonna do, you better do it now. 154 00:08:43.320 --> 00:08:46.360 Not say well, I'm gonna enjoy life in retirement. No, 155 00:08:46.519 --> 00:08:49.279 you need to enjoy life now. And if you have children, 156 00:08:49.360 --> 00:08:52.120 you need to be enjoying life with the children, because 157 00:08:52.120 --> 00:08:54.360 the kids aren't gonna be at home forever. 158 00:08:55.600 --> 00:08:56.440 When my kids are. 159 00:08:56.320 --> 00:09:00.200 Growing up, I determined that the number one thing I 160 00:09:00.240 --> 00:09:02.440 wanted them to know about our family was not that 161 00:09:02.480 --> 00:09:05.480 we were godly, and it was not that we were smart, 162 00:09:05.799 --> 00:09:08.519 it was not you know whatever thing, but that they 163 00:09:08.519 --> 00:09:09.080 were loved. 164 00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:11.080 And then we had fun together. 165 00:09:11.720 --> 00:09:14.279 And I created all kinds of things just to have 166 00:09:14.320 --> 00:09:16.440 fun that weren't very expensive. One of them was called 167 00:09:16.919 --> 00:09:23.480 Daddy's Magical Mystery Tour, and the kids loved it, and 168 00:09:23.559 --> 00:09:26.759 it's a hallowed reputation in our family. I now do 169 00:09:26.759 --> 00:09:29.720 it with the grandkids and Daddy's Magical Mystery Tour. I'd 170 00:09:29.720 --> 00:09:32.000 take my kids when they were young, they're all in 171 00:09:32.039 --> 00:09:34.360 preschool or grade school, and they get in their pajamas, 172 00:09:34.399 --> 00:09:37.559 they go to bed at seven o'clock and long about 173 00:09:37.600 --> 00:09:40.639 eleven o'clock or midnight, I'd go in and wake them 174 00:09:40.679 --> 00:09:45.919 all up, get out of bed, Get out of bed 175 00:09:46.039 --> 00:09:49.799 right now, it's time for Daddy's Magical Mystery Tour. 176 00:09:50.879 --> 00:09:52.600 And they go, oh, boy, oh boy, oh boy. 177 00:09:52.679 --> 00:09:55.320 It means that, Ay, we're not going to school tomorrow, 178 00:09:56.919 --> 00:09:59.639 and b we're about to have something really, really fun. 179 00:10:00.200 --> 00:10:02.600 Now it could be something expensive, like one time I 180 00:10:02.639 --> 00:10:04.240 woke them all up. We didn't have a pool, we 181 00:10:04.240 --> 00:10:06.399 didn't have a hot tub or a jacuzzie, and so 182 00:10:06.919 --> 00:10:09.879 I woke them all up one time about midnight. We 183 00:10:10.039 --> 00:10:12.440 put them in the car in their pajamas, drove down 184 00:10:12.480 --> 00:10:15.799 to Carl's bed, checked into a hotel that had a 185 00:10:15.840 --> 00:10:19.559 master bedroom with a giant, giant bathtub. 186 00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:22.039 We filled it with water and. 187 00:10:22.120 --> 00:10:25.080 A bunch of bubbles, all jumped in in our swimming suits, 188 00:10:25.200 --> 00:10:27.360 grabbed a bunch of junk food and had a party 189 00:10:28.519 --> 00:10:31.639 at one o'clock in the morning with first graders and 190 00:10:31.720 --> 00:10:35.639 third graders. And now they all didn't have to be 191 00:10:35.679 --> 00:10:37.639 that expensive. Sometimes I'd wake them up in the middle 192 00:10:37.679 --> 00:10:40.000 of night say we're going to go make a fifteen 193 00:10:40.039 --> 00:10:41.759 cent ice cream run at thrifties. 194 00:10:43.320 --> 00:10:45.240 And Kay was going, you can't do that. 195 00:10:46.840 --> 00:10:51.399 She was the rule keeper. I was the fundmeister. And 196 00:10:51.440 --> 00:10:53.639 by the way, you need both in a marriage. If 197 00:10:53.679 --> 00:10:56.440 you watched last week's message, you know what we're talking about. 198 00:10:58.039 --> 00:11:01.919 But we have so much fun now I want you 199 00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:04.639 to write this sentence down, and it applies to you, 200 00:11:04.879 --> 00:11:06.919 whether you're a parent or not, whether you ever get 201 00:11:06.960 --> 00:11:07.480 married or not. 202 00:11:07.799 --> 00:11:09.320 Here's an important thing in life. 203 00:11:09.600 --> 00:11:14.039 People don't remember what you say, but they will remember 204 00:11:14.200 --> 00:11:18.840 how you made them feel. That's important advice for a boss, 205 00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:22.240 for an employer, for a husband, for a boyfriend, for 206 00:11:22.320 --> 00:11:24.879 a girlfriend, for a parent, for a husband or wife. 207 00:11:25.080 --> 00:11:29.480 People will not remember what you say, they will remember 208 00:11:29.720 --> 00:11:31.399 how you made them feel. 209 00:11:32.600 --> 00:11:35.360 My kids don't remember anything of what I. 210 00:11:35.440 --> 00:11:39.120 Said in the early years of their lives, but they 211 00:11:39.159 --> 00:11:41.799 do remember how Daddy made them feel. 212 00:11:42.919 --> 00:11:43.360 Awesome. 213 00:11:43.480 --> 00:11:47.320 Families are playful, They're Candyland families. 214 00:11:47.360 --> 00:11:48.320 They have a lot of fun. 215 00:11:49.519 --> 00:11:53.799 Now, Solomon gets very specific about the kind of fun 216 00:11:53.879 --> 00:11:57.240 you're supposed to having a family Ecclesiastes nine, verse nine. 217 00:11:57.279 --> 00:12:01.919 He says this, enjoy life with your wife. 218 00:12:02.600 --> 00:12:06.320 Enjoy life with your wife whom you love. 219 00:12:07.240 --> 00:12:12.080 Dads, if you're a dad, here today, the greatest gift 220 00:12:12.120 --> 00:12:15.000 you can give your children is to love their mom. 221 00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:21.000 To have fun and enjoy life with their mom. Enjoy 222 00:12:21.159 --> 00:12:22.399 life with your wife. 223 00:12:22.200 --> 00:12:22.799 Whom you love. 224 00:12:23.000 --> 00:12:26.919 You see, when a father shows love for the mother 225 00:12:27.240 --> 00:12:32.000 of the kids, it creates great stability. It creates great security, 226 00:12:32.360 --> 00:12:35.679 It creates great peace in the heart of little children. 227 00:12:36.879 --> 00:12:39.440 And when I hear couples saying, well, you know, don't 228 00:12:39.519 --> 00:12:42.159 we really can't afford or can't have time to go 229 00:12:42.279 --> 00:12:49.600 out because of the kid's serious mistake, serious mistake. Your 230 00:12:49.720 --> 00:12:53.240 kids need to see you loving each other because you 231 00:12:53.320 --> 00:12:57.799 are the first and greatest model of relationships. And if 232 00:12:57.799 --> 00:13:00.679 they see parents just passing in the night and working 233 00:13:00.720 --> 00:13:03.320 and working and working, but no real relationship, that's what 234 00:13:03.360 --> 00:13:07.679 they're gonna grow up thinking. Marriage is all about love 235 00:13:07.720 --> 00:13:10.799 your wife. Enjoy life with your wife. The Bible says 236 00:13:10.799 --> 00:13:16.159 in Psalm one twenty seven. Children are a gift from God. 237 00:13:16.360 --> 00:13:19.200 They are a gift from God. Now, let's be honest. 238 00:13:19.559 --> 00:13:26.000 Sometimes they're a gift you'd like to exchange, okay, But 239 00:13:26.480 --> 00:13:29.639 they are a gift. Okay, They are a gift. And 240 00:13:29.679 --> 00:13:32.039 what is a gift? A gift is given and it's 241 00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:36.000 meant to be enjoyed. Are you enjoying your kids? Are 242 00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:38.879 they just your pet project? You're gonna grow up, right, 243 00:13:39.120 --> 00:13:42.720 and it's all serious, and you're not enjoying the gift 244 00:13:43.039 --> 00:13:46.440 that God gave you. Psalm eight fifteen. This one's gonna 245 00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:48.159 blow your mind. Look at this verse on the screen. 246 00:13:48.480 --> 00:13:49.679 You should write this one down. 247 00:13:49.919 --> 00:13:54.039 It says I recommend having fun. 248 00:13:54.200 --> 00:13:58.240 Did you know that versus in the Bible, the wisest 249 00:13:58.240 --> 00:14:02.559 man who ever lives, says, I recommend having fun, and 250 00:14:02.600 --> 00:14:07.039 that way you'll experience some happiness along all the. 251 00:14:07.039 --> 00:14:11.039 Hard work that God gives you. Now you know. 252 00:14:11.120 --> 00:14:14.399 I asked the producers of these Little Kid on the 253 00:14:14.399 --> 00:14:17.159 Street interviews to give a lot of variety of answers, 254 00:14:18.080 --> 00:14:19.840 and I said, put you know, don't all put the same, 255 00:14:20.240 --> 00:14:22.559 because honestly, I was stunned. 256 00:14:22.600 --> 00:14:24.480 I was shocked. I was amazed. 257 00:14:24.879 --> 00:14:26.759 And how when I asked, what's the number one thing 258 00:14:26.840 --> 00:14:29.399 you like to do with your family? I got the 259 00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:32.200 same answer over and over and over and over and 260 00:14:32.279 --> 00:14:33.879 over and over and over. 261 00:14:34.360 --> 00:14:35.279 And it shocked me. 262 00:14:35.720 --> 00:14:39.720 In an age of technology and an age of all 263 00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:42.919 these different entertainment places, the number one answer was not 264 00:14:43.279 --> 00:14:46.240 go to Disneyland or go to an amusement park. The 265 00:14:46.360 --> 00:14:48.960 number one answer that kid said, when you like to 266 00:14:48.960 --> 00:14:50.840 do something with your family, what's the number one thing 267 00:14:51.000 --> 00:14:54.559 you like to do? It was over and over playboard games. 268 00:14:56.120 --> 00:14:59.240 The number one answer. It wasn't play video games. You 269 00:14:59.279 --> 00:15:03.000 would have thought that it was played board games. Why, 270 00:15:03.159 --> 00:15:07.080 Because video games are one on one personal game. Board 271 00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:11.879 games you actually interact with adults. And that's why they said, 272 00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:13.759 you like it. We're sitting around the table, my mom 273 00:15:13.799 --> 00:15:16.000 and dad are there and we're playing board games together. 274 00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:19.320 The number two answer, what do you love to do 275 00:15:19.360 --> 00:15:21.480 with your answer? With your kids, with your what you 276 00:15:21.519 --> 00:15:24.159 bye with your family? Most number two answer was go 277 00:15:24.200 --> 00:15:28.480 to a park. Go to a park. How old fashioned 278 00:15:28.519 --> 00:15:31.120 can you get? He said, what do you do at 279 00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:33.960 a park? We throw frisbee, we play cats, we play tag, 280 00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:37.519 we lay around, we talk, we have a picnic. And 281 00:15:37.600 --> 00:15:39.879 the number three answer, you'd figure this in Orange County, 282 00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:43.919 go to the beach. In all three answers, what was 283 00:15:43.960 --> 00:15:49.679 the common denominator time with parents? It wasn't Disneyland. It 284 00:15:49.720 --> 00:15:54.039 was time with parents. You see, I talk to guys 285 00:15:54.080 --> 00:15:57.840 all the time, says, I don't get it. Successful visitib 286 00:15:57.840 --> 00:16:00.480 but I don't get it. I buy my wife and 287 00:16:00.600 --> 00:16:05.360 kids all these trinkets and things, and I give them 288 00:16:05.519 --> 00:16:07.080 everything they need. 289 00:16:07.399 --> 00:16:11.159 What do they want? I'll tell you what they want. 290 00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:12.080 They want you. 291 00:16:13.320 --> 00:16:15.960 They want your attention, they want your focus, they want 292 00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:21.000 your eyes, they want your time. You spell love tim 293 00:16:22.279 --> 00:16:25.159 The greatest gift you can give your kids is your time, 294 00:16:25.360 --> 00:16:27.639 because when you give them your time, you're giving your life. 295 00:16:28.200 --> 00:16:30.879 You know, always buy things. Kids don't need things. They 296 00:16:30.919 --> 00:16:35.440 need time. They need fun with the family. They need 297 00:16:35.519 --> 00:16:38.120 fun in the home. They need it to not be 298 00:16:38.200 --> 00:16:41.639 a boot camp or something we're just all working on. 299 00:16:42.480 --> 00:16:43.480 They want time with you. 300 00:16:43.879 --> 00:16:47.559 And so Candyland is the symbol of an awesome family, 301 00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:51.679 because awesome families are playful. Now, the second symbol of 302 00:16:51.720 --> 00:16:57.039 an awesome family is a watering can. A watering can 303 00:16:57.279 --> 00:17:02.399 because we use this to waterflow hours, plants, you know, vegetables, 304 00:17:03.000 --> 00:17:06.039 and in many ways, a family is like a garden. 305 00:17:06.640 --> 00:17:09.279 You have to grow it. You have to develop it, 306 00:17:09.559 --> 00:17:12.400 you have to cultivate it. A garden doesn't grow on 307 00:17:12.440 --> 00:17:15.319 its own. You have to weed it, you have to 308 00:17:15.440 --> 00:17:18.000 water it, you have to care for it. And this 309 00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:22.440 is the second characteristic of awesome families that makes them 310 00:17:22.440 --> 00:17:27.720 different from average families. Write this down. Awesome families encourage growth. 311 00:17:30.279 --> 00:17:34.079 They create an atmosphere of lifelong learning. They help each 312 00:17:34.119 --> 00:17:38.880 other develop, They encourage the discovery of each person in 313 00:17:38.920 --> 00:17:42.480 the family's shape shape. And one of the things that 314 00:17:42.519 --> 00:17:45.960 you do in an awesome family is you support each other. 315 00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:47.920 And I'm not just talking about the kids growing up. 316 00:17:48.200 --> 00:17:52.480 I'm saying that you're always growing. Your family never stops growing. 317 00:17:53.759 --> 00:17:57.319 Mom never stops growing. Everybody encourages mom to grow. Dad 318 00:17:57.359 --> 00:18:00.920 never stops growing. Everybody encourages dad to grow, brother, sister, 319 00:18:01.079 --> 00:18:04.799 everybody encourages everybody to keep growing. If you're not growing, 320 00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:09.680 your family is boring. You're just stuck in a rut. 321 00:18:09.880 --> 00:18:13.720 You haven't learned anything new, developed any new interest in 322 00:18:13.759 --> 00:18:17.519 a long time. Your family's boring. Now look at how 323 00:18:17.599 --> 00:18:20.160 Jesus grew. The Bible tells us in Luke two point 324 00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:22.640 fifty two. This is when Jesus was twelve years old. 325 00:18:23.319 --> 00:18:29.240 It says Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in 326 00:18:29.279 --> 00:18:32.599 favor with God and favor with men. Now, notice there 327 00:18:32.599 --> 00:18:34.279 are four kinds of growth you want to have in 328 00:18:34.279 --> 00:18:38.920 your family. You grow in wisdom that's intellectual growth, mental growth. 329 00:18:39.480 --> 00:18:43.200 You grow in stature that's physical health. You grow in 330 00:18:43.279 --> 00:18:46.839 favor with God that's spiritual growth. And you grow in 331 00:18:46.880 --> 00:18:50.359 favor with Man that's social growth. Every person in your 332 00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:52.200 family needs to be growing in all four of these, 333 00:18:52.359 --> 00:18:58.599 not just the kids, but you, mom, you dad, you brother, you, sister, 334 00:18:59.000 --> 00:19:03.920 you need to be growing physically, mentally, spiritually. 335 00:19:03.480 --> 00:19:04.240 And socially. 336 00:19:04.440 --> 00:19:06.519 How are you going to be different a year from 337 00:19:06.519 --> 00:19:08.599 the day are do you know any more than you 338 00:19:08.640 --> 00:19:12.640 knew a year ago? Are you closer to God than 339 00:19:12.680 --> 00:19:15.920 you more or a year ago? Are you more loving 340 00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:18.440 than you were a year ago? Are you literally growing? 341 00:19:18.759 --> 00:19:24.440 Awesome families encourage growth. Average families just stay the same. 342 00:19:25.559 --> 00:19:30.519 Nobody changes, nobody grows Now. I ask the kids, what 343 00:19:30.759 --> 00:19:34.039 have you learned in your family? And here's what they said. 344 00:19:39.079 --> 00:19:42.519 It's not all about me, and then it's about other people, 345 00:19:42.559 --> 00:19:45.519 and you need to love fail and teaching me homework. 346 00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:48.680 They've taught me a lot of that, a lot of Spanish. 347 00:19:48.839 --> 00:19:53.400 They taught me to read and write. They've taught me 348 00:19:53.480 --> 00:19:54.519 to never run away. 349 00:19:54.720 --> 00:19:55.359 I just knew it. 350 00:19:55.880 --> 00:19:56.799 Not say boud. 351 00:19:56.839 --> 00:19:59.599 Lord's like, if my brother gets mad at me, I 352 00:19:59.640 --> 00:20:02.200 should get mad at him and get back. Do not 353 00:20:02.319 --> 00:20:06.160 talk these strangers to be kind and you won't. If 354 00:20:06.200 --> 00:20:09.279 you don't be kind, you don't get any friends. God's 355 00:20:09.279 --> 00:20:12.680 will never start. Don't go through the behaviors of this world. 356 00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:13.960 Try to be teachable. 357 00:20:14.160 --> 00:20:16.880 My mom teaches me how who who? 358 00:20:17.079 --> 00:20:17.279 Yeah? 359 00:20:17.319 --> 00:20:20.039 Yeah, even if it's hard to tell the truth that 360 00:20:20.200 --> 00:20:24.160 you should always see it. Manners, well, my dad always says, manners. 361 00:20:23.759 --> 00:20:24.400 Make the man. 362 00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:27.480 They taught me a lessen about God and that family 363 00:20:27.519 --> 00:20:29.640 never gives up, and that family is always there. 364 00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:31.119 You can always count on them. 365 00:20:30.960 --> 00:20:32.839 To be there for you even when you go through 366 00:20:32.880 --> 00:20:35.759 hard times. Always trust in God and because he'll help 367 00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:36.400 you get through it. 368 00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:42.119 Now, what do we really learn from our families. Well, 369 00:20:42.119 --> 00:20:44.119 there's some things. If you don't learn them in your family, 370 00:20:44.519 --> 00:20:47.480 you're never going to learn them. You can't learn them 371 00:20:47.480 --> 00:20:49.519 at school, you can't learn them at work. You only 372 00:20:49.559 --> 00:20:52.440 can learn them in your family. And I will tell 373 00:20:52.480 --> 00:20:56.400 you this, most of your problems as an adult comes 374 00:20:56.400 --> 00:20:59.359 from the fact that you didn't learn certain things correctly 375 00:20:59.599 --> 00:21:03.160 as child. And if you didn't learn certain skills as 376 00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:05.680 a child, then you're going to have a rough life 377 00:21:05.880 --> 00:21:09.359 the rest of your life. There are five things you 378 00:21:09.559 --> 00:21:12.880 must learn in your family, and if you don't learn 379 00:21:12.880 --> 00:21:14.839 them there, life's going to be tough for you. You 380 00:21:14.920 --> 00:21:17.920 might write these down. The first one is the first 381 00:21:17.960 --> 00:21:21.440 thing we have to learn is what to do with feelings, 382 00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:25.279 one of the most important skills of mine. How do 383 00:21:25.400 --> 00:21:29.400 I handle my emotions? What do I do with them? 384 00:21:29.559 --> 00:21:31.960 How do I deal with how I feel? What do 385 00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:35.799 you do with feelings? And in a good, awesome family, 386 00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:40.119 you learn how to recognize your feelings, how to name 387 00:21:40.359 --> 00:21:44.079 your feelings, how to own up to your feelings, how 388 00:21:44.119 --> 00:21:48.720 to identify your feelings, how to express your feelings correctly 389 00:21:48.839 --> 00:21:52.680 rather than incorrectly, how not to stuff them, and how 390 00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:56.960 to deal with how you feel. If you don't learn 391 00:21:57.000 --> 00:21:59.079 how to deal with how you feel in your family, 392 00:21:59.319 --> 00:22:03.000 you go through life and emotional cripple. You have to 393 00:22:03.039 --> 00:22:06.279 relearn it somewhere else. And the reason why so many 394 00:22:06.319 --> 00:22:08.759 marriages split up is because they didn't learn in their 395 00:22:08.799 --> 00:22:11.960 family how to deal with how you feel correctly and effectively. 396 00:22:13.160 --> 00:22:15.200 And you need to let people be honest and let 397 00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:18.279 kids express their emotions. One of the stupidest things the 398 00:22:18.359 --> 00:22:19.960 parent can say is stop crying. 399 00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:24.759 Don't cry. Don't cry. Why. There's nothing wrong with crying. 400 00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:26.240 Tears are a gift from God. 401 00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:29.480