Speaker 1: This is an Unspoiled Network podcast. This is spoil Me
Speaker 1: covering Dungeon Crawler Carl chapters forty two through forty five.
Speaker 1: In these chapters, I was correct about the fact that
Speaker 1: the next interview wasn't going to go as smoothly as
Speaker 1: the last one. Honestly though, it was pretty fun to
Speaker 1: get to see Carl take control of the situation and
Speaker 1: absolutely crush it the way that he does. How satisfying.
Speaker 1: Welcome to spoil Me, Welcome to the show everyone. I
Speaker 1: am Natasha. Thank you very much to Michael for commissioning
Speaker 1: this episode. Michael, this has been so much fun. And
Speaker 1: this section. I listened to this while I was taking
Speaker 1: a walk with pippin the other night, and it was
Speaker 1: dark and I didn't get a chance to take him
Speaker 1: until like probably like ten thirty PM. And I'm always
Speaker 1: very conscious when I am listening to an audiobook that's
Speaker 1: particularly funny that it might be extremely creepy to people
Speaker 1: when I am out in the dark laughing all by myself,
Speaker 1: I feel like, probably it comes across as unnerving, and
Speaker 1: so yeah, I just tried to keep behold of myself
Speaker 1: this time, but I definitely like more than once was
Speaker 1: cackling this whole vibe. I I'm just going to get
Speaker 1: into it. Let's just start so chapter forty one or
Speaker 1: forty two. Sorry, they we pick up with them still
Speaker 1: in that green room sort of area, And the way
Speaker 1: that this works is like that they are able to
Speaker 1: see things but not be seen because it's all virtual,
Speaker 1: So they can like appear to be sitting in the
Speaker 1: seats that they will eventually be shown to the audience
Speaker 1: in and so watch the whole thing even though the
Speaker 1: audience isn't observing them yet. And it's sort of like
Speaker 1: a fun way for this to be set up because
Speaker 1: I just like the fact that he gets the chance
Speaker 1: to get the measure of this guy before he's on
Speaker 1: stage with him, so to speak, because the other two
Speaker 1: dudes who get pulled on are obviously completely unprepared for
Speaker 1: who it is they're talking to, Like I'm not really
Speaker 1: sure there's a way to be prepared for who he is.
Speaker 1: But I don't blame them for like handling things. I
Speaker 1: won't say as poorly as they did, because they're really
Speaker 1: I don't feel like they did. It's just that they
Speaker 1: were put in a position with a fucking maniac, so
Speaker 1: they were doing their best, and it does seem like
Speaker 1: there might be like just almost like they're they're not
Speaker 1: understanding the intent of the show, which is to be
Speaker 1: mean spirited, so they're confused by it. Which is always
Speaker 1: something that I find fascinating is when a person just
Speaker 1: like can't conceive of the fact that somebody is just
Speaker 1: trying to be a piece of shit. And so it's
Speaker 1: almost the tactic that people have taken to lately when
Speaker 1: they say, like, if somebody makes an offensive joke, pretend
Speaker 1: that you don't get it, and ask them to explain
Speaker 1: it to you, and all of a sudden, they're going
Speaker 1: to be a lot less eager because the whole thing
Speaker 1: is supposed to be it's funny because you share the
Speaker 1: same biases that I do. But now if I don't
Speaker 1: get it, then one clearly I don't share those biases,
Speaker 1: because otherwise the joke would have made sense to me.
Speaker 1: And secondly, now you have to explain that you have
Speaker 1: these biases, and it makes you look like an asshole.
Speaker 1: So that's sort of what it feels like here, is
Speaker 1: that these guys are just like not getting what's supposed
Speaker 1: to be going on, and it's resulting in this weird
Speaker 1: energy because they are being led by the hand through it.
Speaker 1: And clearly that's part of what this fucking dude enjoys
Speaker 1: is the fact that like the dawning horror right of
Speaker 1: these dungeon crawlers as they begin to understand what it
Speaker 1: is that he is setting them up for. So for Carl,
Speaker 1: he gets such a leg up sitting on the side
Speaker 1: and seeing exactly the way this guy operates so that
Speaker 1: he can go in there with a particular attitude. So
Speaker 1: the opening of this I focused on a group of
Speaker 1: humans sitting in the second row, hooting and screaming and
Speaker 1: laughing boisterously. There was a cruel air to their laughter.
Speaker 1: It was almost a tangible thing, like a black, malevolent
Speaker 1: cloud that embraced the presence of the entire audience. I
Speaker 1: was reminded of that day when my dad and his
Speaker 1: friends broke my sling shot. They'd been firing rocks at
Speaker 1: squirrels laughing in a similar way. These humans in the
Speaker 1: second row were all male, and they were all about
Speaker 1: twelve or thirteen years old. It seemed the entire audience
Speaker 1: consisted of young, pre and early teen males. One of
Speaker 1: them was wearing a red shirt that said glurp on it.
Speaker 1: Glurt glurp. The audience yelled, glurt glurp. Donut, I said,
Speaker 1: talking quickly, this crowd is going to be a lot
Speaker 1: different than the last one. They're all kids. I don't
Speaker 1: think they're the happy cartoon watching kind either. Carl, we've
Speaker 1: gone over this, Donut said. You sit there and look angry,
Speaker 1: and I do the talking, remember, and then they get
Speaker 1: the on air soon and we have this guy. No,
Speaker 1: you little cunts are gonna love today's surprise panelists here.
Speaker 1: Maestro had to bang some blimey mud skipper tail to
Speaker 1: pull this one off. But nothing is too good for
Speaker 1: Maestro's piglets. Suck it, suck it, good piglets. Glurt blurt.
Speaker 1: The audience screamed, glurt blurt. I hate him so much.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you guys. I look, I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna preface this with something first. I want to acknowledge
Speaker 1: there is a ton of excellent content on YouTube, really
Speaker 1: really good stuff. Okay, I am not trying to say
Speaker 1: if you are on YouTube, then you are trash, because
Speaker 1: that's just fucking idiotic. I actually kind of want to
Speaker 1: spend more time on YouTube in some ways because I
Speaker 1: feel like I have not taken advantage of everything has
Speaker 1: to offer, and there are so many independent creators on
Speaker 1: there that deserve more attention, and I just tend to
Speaker 1: watch like network TV, you know. So I just really
Speaker 1: really want to be clear that I am not trying
Speaker 1: to group in all YouTubers, because that's doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1: It's like acting like my podcast is the same as, like,
Speaker 1: you know, an NPR podcast like that doesn't even They're
Speaker 1: not even what you know. But when I think of YouTube,
Speaker 1: this is the reason I haven't done as much with it.
Speaker 1: This vibe is what I think of unfortunately, and I
Speaker 1: really feel like that I am not alone in that.
Speaker 1: I really think that maybe this is a hurdle that
Speaker 1: YouTube has had to learn how to jump and navigate,
Speaker 1: because I cannot be the only one that sort of
Speaker 1: has this weird hang up and bias where I just
Speaker 1: associate the entire platform at it, like just off the
Speaker 1: top of my head, with this very juvenile, like cruel
Speaker 1: and mean spirited sort of energy. It's I think improved
Speaker 1: some the way that oh my god, Rob is in
Speaker 1: the chat says one hundred percent, don't let friends drink
Speaker 1: from the algo stream. Yeah, this is That's kind of
Speaker 1: what has has been a bit of a stumbling block
Speaker 1: for me is that I don't know where to start
Speaker 1: in watching certain things on YouTube. To get the algorithm
Speaker 1: working for me, I would be going in blind and
Speaker 1: potentially set the algorithm up to show me more of
Speaker 1: something that I didn't like, and I don't know how
Speaker 1: to undo that. Like, there have been a couple times
Speaker 1: where things have shown up on my feed and I
Speaker 1: have tried to figure out how to like click them
Speaker 1: and be like, don't show me anything more like this,
Speaker 1: and I can't figure out how to do that. I
Speaker 1: only wind up clicking through and starting to watch it,
Speaker 1: and then I have to remove it from my viewing history,
Speaker 1: which it seems like that's kind of the only way anyway.
Speaker 1: All I'm saying is I think that the worst parts
Speaker 1: of YouTube are like this, and that this is like
Speaker 1: one of the first steps towards young men getting radicalized
Speaker 1: by maniacs that have no knowledge or information and yet
Speaker 1: have a platform. And it's such a fucking mixed bag, guys,
Speaker 1: because on the one hand, and I think that in
Speaker 1: part the fact that we don't need to have any
Speaker 1: special education and we can still create content. Is one
Speaker 1: of the great things about the Internet that there is
Speaker 1: something beautiful about the fact that you can just share
Speaker 1: anything as long as you are able to put it
Speaker 1: out there, like if you have the right equipment to
Speaker 1: do it, anybody can do it. And it's part of
Speaker 1: what I love about podcasting that it is so open.
Speaker 1: But of course there's that double edged sword to it,
Speaker 1: where then you get absolute fucking maniacs. And there was
Speaker 1: some I can't remember who it was, but it was
Speaker 1: some actor the other day and he was like a
Speaker 1: very He was not famous, but he was somebody that
Speaker 1: I saw in a weird little thing and I was
Speaker 1: sort of like wondering about what else he had done.
Speaker 1: And I saw a link to an interview with him,
Speaker 1: and I don't remember the name of the show. It
Speaker 1: was something like Ugly on the Inside, I think was
Speaker 1: the name of it. And it was these two guys
Speaker 1: interviewing him, and I felt like I lost half my
Speaker 1: brain cells watching this, Like I think I got through
Speaker 1: about fifteen minutes, which is like admirable, frankly considering, and
Speaker 1: they the person that was being interviewed was the most
Speaker 1: intelligent one in the room for sure. The two dudes
Speaker 1: who run the show. It was like talking to like
Speaker 1: it felt like they were like fourteen years old. And
Speaker 1: I was at least relieved when I went into the
Speaker 1: comments that everybody was dogging on these guys because apparently
Speaker 1: a lot of other people had followed this actor to
Speaker 1: this interview, and so most people were there for him,
Speaker 1: and they were just appalled by how bad the show
Speaker 1: was overall. And I did feel better about that, because
Speaker 1: there's nothing worse than watching something and thinking it is
Speaker 1: god awful and then seeing everybody hyping it up and
Speaker 1: being like, what am I crazy? Is this gaslighting? Like,
Speaker 1: I at least felt better. Everybody seemed to be in
Speaker 1: agreement that these guys were complete fucking morons. But it's
Speaker 1: it's you know, part of having an open platform is
Speaker 1: that you get what you get. Rob says, the best
Speaker 1: thing you can do is use an alternative client like
Speaker 1: new Pipe, which doesn't auto play videos. I do not
Speaker 1: know what you mean, Rob, I didn't know that YouTube
Speaker 1: auto played videos. Uh that I don't like that. And
Speaker 1: I also don't know what new Pipe is and why
Speaker 1: is it a client and not a platform. I have
Speaker 1: a lot of questions, Rob. In short, but let's get
Speaker 1: back to the book. So this dude, the whole point
Speaker 1: of this, we find out later, is likely that he
Speaker 1: and his brother are being given this show to keep
Speaker 1: them busy and out of their dad's hair, so to speak,
Speaker 1: because they are very privileged, spoiled brats. He stood about
Speaker 1: six and a half feet tall, built like a tank.
Speaker 1: A line of earrings circled his left ear. He wore
Speaker 1: a hot pink silken shirt buttoned halfway up, revealing a hairy,
Speaker 1: well muscled chest covered in gold chains. I couldn't tell
Speaker 1: for certain, but I had the distinct impression he was
Speaker 1: only in his early twenties. I hated him instantly. To
Speaker 1: my right now sat two humans, two men about my age.
Speaker 1: Both were Asian, their ragged, bewildered look pegnam as fellow crawlers.
Speaker 1: One of them noticed us and point talking quickly to
Speaker 1: his companion. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but
Speaker 1: it seemed like they recognized us. I waved, and they
Speaker 1: waved back, both of them bowing rapidly. They turned and
Speaker 1: also waved at the empty chairs to their right. There
Speaker 1: was someone there, but we couldn't see who it was.
Speaker 1: So here comes the Maestro this orc. So we have
Speaker 1: six guests today, two stupid lame guests, two VIP surprise guests,
Speaker 1: and then two more surprised guests surprise guests for are VIPs.
Speaker 1: Our VIP today are so hot. We are for the
Speaker 1: very first time coming to you live. That is how
Speaker 1: hard I am working for you. And that really winds
Speaker 1: up biting him in the ass. If it weren't for
Speaker 1: that it were live, I think maybe things could have
Speaker 1: gone a different way. But when it's live, you just
Speaker 1: got to adjust and roll with things to a certain degree.
Speaker 1: And it, I think is is like where a lot
Speaker 1: of his troubles end up coming from. So we see
Speaker 1: this set up with these people who have turned a
Speaker 1: corner and come across a bunch of those hornets and
Speaker 1: a couple of those lizards, and they have splattered the
Speaker 1: the hornet has splattered this like burning as acidic sort
Speaker 1: of glop on a guy's face. There's three men and
Speaker 1: one woman, and these two dudes have been pulled directly
Speaker 1: out of that confrontation, and the Maestro is presenting them
Speaker 1: with like a situation that they have to deal with
Speaker 1: in order to potentially save one of their friends, maybe
Speaker 1: both of them, although that seems very unlikely and I
Speaker 1: was a little surprised, I'll be honest, I have to
Speaker 1: assume that this comes down to how much they were
Speaker 1: willing to pay. But I was really taken off guard
Speaker 1: by the fact that the Maestro has the authority to
Speaker 1: do anything that affects the actual game. Because it's one
Speaker 1: thing to be able to interview people and to you know,
Speaker 1: kind of fuck with their heads or you know, make
Speaker 1: them do silly games on your show that are exclusive
Speaker 1: to your show. It's another thing entirely to promise them
Speaker 1: things that actually will like get them to dip in
Speaker 1: and out of the game itself and affect who stays
Speaker 1: alive as a player. And I really wondered at first
Speaker 1: if he was just talking cash shit and couldn't do
Speaker 1: what he was saying he could do, And it seems
Speaker 1: like he can. So I am going to go ahead
Speaker 1: and like lump that in with the budget issues that
Speaker 1: we have been seeing with everything else, and just assume that,
Speaker 1: like we are so desperate for cash by now with
Speaker 1: this show that we are willing to throw in with
Speaker 1: these absolute ship bags just to make a fucking buck.
Speaker 1: I have to assume that it's if I give you
Speaker 1: enough money, will you let me toy with your players,
Speaker 1: and that they just managed to have enough money, So
Speaker 1: the fellow with the acne scars is Lee June, and
Speaker 1: the bald fucker will just call Zang say hello meet.
Speaker 1: It took the two men a moment to realize that
Speaker 1: Maestro was talking to them. Hello, Nie June said, I
Speaker 1: don't understand what is happening. Okay, so let me catch
Speaker 1: you up since you're too stupid to figure it out.
Speaker 1: You're on Deathwatch, a segment of my show. That means
Speaker 1: we just plucked you away from certain death. You're welcome.
Speaker 1: Before your plight was hopeless. Now you have a chance
Speaker 1: to survive. But we'll get to that in a second.
Speaker 1: You have been hit with a time freeze spell and
Speaker 1: it will run out just as this episode ends. We
Speaker 1: have a little game we'd like you to play to
Speaker 1: give you the opportunity to live past the next few seconds.
Speaker 1: We're gonna show you a series of scenes and you
Speaker 1: have to guess if the Crawler survives or not. But
Speaker 1: before we begin, I want to know a little about
Speaker 1: you guys, and we get some background that the woman
Speaker 1: is Legion's sister, and that the other guy, Zang, is
Speaker 1: best friends with Lesion, so he sees her as his
Speaker 1: sister also, and the guy that they got hit with
Speaker 1: the goop is their manager. And what the Maester is
Speaker 1: trying to do is be like you are. You are
Speaker 1: going to have to pick between the two of them
Speaker 1: more than likely. This is how it works. We're going
Speaker 1: to show you four scenes and we want you to
Speaker 1: guess the crawler's gonna live or die. If he gets correctly,
Speaker 1: you'll receive a teleport teleport point when we're done. For
Speaker 1: every point you have, you can spend it to save
Speaker 1: yourselves or one of your companions. The recipient of each
Speaker 1: teleport point will be immediately transferred to the closest safe room.
Speaker 1: If you decide to throw a point at old spooge face,
Speaker 1: he will be healed, So don't worry about that. Ready, good,
Speaker 1: let's go. And at this point, Carl gets up to
Speaker 1: fucking leave and is like climbing up on the table
Speaker 1: that is blocking him, and then this voice comes through
Speaker 1: and tells them to get back in his seat. I
Speaker 1: love this. Carl just tells him, go fuck yourself, Carl,
Speaker 1: you're gonna get us in trouble. Doughnut said, you are
Speaker 1: ordered to sit. We have paid the appearance fee and
Speaker 1: you will participate in the program. If you refuse, we
Speaker 1: are authorized to drop you into this ocean, drowning you
Speaker 1: both bullshit. I said, you're not boring and you're not
Speaker 1: the syndicate. There's no way they'd authorize that. We are
Speaker 1: not participating in this cruelty. Nothing happened for several moments.
Speaker 1: Donut jump up to my shoulder. You're gonna get us
Speaker 1: in trouble. She said again, this time more quietly. Crawler, Carl,
Speaker 1: this is Administrator Mukta. You are required to take your
Speaker 1: seat or there will be consequences. I'll go on as
Speaker 1: many shows as you want, but we're not doing this one,
Speaker 1: I said, Carl. We will discuss this when you are done.
Speaker 1: If you do not participate, we will accelerate you. There
Speaker 1: are plenty of other crawlers to show on our program.
Speaker 1: This is not a bluff. Can that other guy hear
Speaker 1: me right now? No? He cannot. As long as I
Speaker 1: don't talk shit about you guys? Will there be consequences
Speaker 1: for what I say? As long as I participate, I mean,
Speaker 1: they have paid for your appearance, nothing else. All right,
Speaker 1: tell him we want on the show now before this
Speaker 1: death watch segment ends. Carl, what are you doing? I'm
Speaker 1: the one who talks this time, I said so. At
Speaker 1: this point, these dudes have two teleport points and they
Speaker 1: have decided they have to decide who they're going to pick,
Speaker 1: and they are deciding to die together like they're trying
Speaker 1: to show a unified front. It's uh. The one of
Speaker 1: them sang is sitting save Lejiun and Lena, and Lejun
Speaker 1: is like, no, we're not doing that. We stand together.
Speaker 1: A sour look passed across the Maestro's face. He said something,
Speaker 1: but it was muted. He paused, then nodded. A moment
Speaker 1: passed and the cruel smile reappeared on his face. We're
Speaker 1: gonna do something a little different, Piglets. Our VIP guests
Speaker 1: have been watching backstage, and it seems like they have
Speaker 1: something to say that Maestro was playing this off like
Speaker 1: it was his idea, and I like, I didn't really
Speaker 1: get exactly the glurt blurt thing until here where he says,
Speaker 1: we're gonna show what these crazy assholes did to get free,
Speaker 1: but since they want to suck on it so bad,
Speaker 1: we're gonna bring them on early, and this is when
Speaker 1: they start chanting glurt blurp again, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: because he told them earlier to suck on it, but
Speaker 1: now he's saying stuck on it for them. And then
Speaker 1: it just turns out that that's just sort of like
Speaker 1: the way that they say to like do anything is
Speaker 1: to suck on it. And I was like, I guess,
Speaker 1: I mean, the whole point is to be as like
Speaker 1: vulgar as possible to be shocking, right. It's it's so played,
Speaker 1: it's so embarrassing. It's very embarrassing. Hi, So Crawler Carl
Speaker 1: and Princess Donut Piglets. You probably don't know this. These
Speaker 1: two just broke a record for the most watched second
Speaker 1: floor battle in the history of Dungeon Crawler World. That
Speaker 1: is very impressive and I don't feel like they get
Speaker 1: nearly enough credit for that. Say hello to my piglets.
Speaker 1: We want it on the game, I said, not bothering
Speaker 1: to beat the crowd, to greet the crowd. We want
Speaker 1: to play death Watch too. That's not how it works, Carl.
Speaker 1: I knew you were a crazy mother. They have two points,
Speaker 1: let's use them to transfer me and Donut to that spot.
Speaker 1: I look at the crowd. Wouldn't that be cool? The
Speaker 1: crowd roared. People talk about how stupid you are, Carl,
Speaker 1: But I never realized you were this stupid. If you're
Speaker 1: feeling suicidal, then I leaned in, pointing my finger. No,
Speaker 1: you listen to me, poor boy. If you're gonna fuck
Speaker 1: with people like this, then at least make it fair.
Speaker 1: They played your game and they won two points. You
Speaker 1: said they can use those points to transfer people away.
Speaker 1: I don't see why it can't be used to transfer
Speaker 1: people in either. It doesn't work that way. You're not
Speaker 1: part of the game. It's against the rules. Yeah, fuck
Speaker 1: the rules. I looked at the crowd. I think we
Speaker 1: should tell the rules to suck it. What do you think, clerk? Glurp,
Speaker 1: blurt blurt. The Maestro did not like his audience glurping
Speaker 1: for someone else. Oh my god, I there. That whole
Speaker 1: line just speaks so many volumes on so many different levels,
Speaker 1: and is honestly like I, I have thoughts that I'll
Speaker 1: get to in a moment, and basically in his mind,
Speaker 1: Carl is like confessing, I don't want to do this,
Speaker 1: but I don't like this. You know, he's a fucking bully,
Speaker 1: and I gotta do something. I can't just sit here
Speaker 1: and watch these two guys get fucking like treated this way.
Speaker 1: And then he suddenly like thinks about the fact that
Speaker 1: the next two guests that he can't see are going
Speaker 1: to be specifically aimed at him in Donut and he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I bet I know who it is, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I think so too, And they do indeed turn out
Speaker 1: to be who we thought. But it's a different situation
Speaker 1: than you would expect. On television shows and in kids' books,
Speaker 1: they always repeated the bullies will back down when stood
Speaker 1: up to mantra. That was utter horseshit. It always has
Speaker 1: been that only worked when the one standing up to
Speaker 1: the bully was stronger than them. The Maestro and I
Speaker 1: were not on equal footing, but my short confrontation and
Speaker 1: the production trailer taught me something important. I didn't need
Speaker 1: to be stronger than him. Donut and I or something better.
Speaker 1: We were expensive, and I really do appreciate. Bullies don't
Speaker 1: back down when they're stood up to. What happens is
Speaker 1: if you are stronger than them, the bully simply realizes
Speaker 1: they pick the wrong prey. And they find somebody weaker
Speaker 1: and they go after them instead. If you are stronger
Speaker 1: and you manage to stand up to them, usually that
Speaker 1: results in them being humiliated, and the person that they
Speaker 1: after you is going to get even worse treatment than
Speaker 1: they would have otherwise, because now the bully has something
Speaker 1: additional to prove, and if you stand up to them
Speaker 1: when you are not stronger than them, it just results
Speaker 1: in you getting even more of a beating than you
Speaker 1: were about to get. Either way, they always are about
Speaker 1: their ego, their reputation, proving something to the people around them,
Speaker 1: and they get embarrassed really, really easily, which makes them
Speaker 1: really volatile, and they often will lose control of themselves,
Speaker 1: and that loss of control is inflicted on other people
Speaker 1: almost always. So, yeah, the bullies, Like he said later on,
Speaker 1: he says something about how they are very predictable, and
Speaker 1: I was like, that's a really good way to say it.
Speaker 1: So the Maestro is fighting this, Carl basically does a
Speaker 1: double dog dare you You're too much of a pussy
Speaker 1: to do it. The Maestro looked so angry I thought
Speaker 1: he might actually cry. I suspected and hoped he couldn't
Speaker 1: do it. If I knew one thing about Boring. It
Speaker 1: was that they nickel and dimed everything. This Deathwatch segment
Speaker 1: probably cost a lot of money, and that was with
Speaker 1: regular low view crawlers. There was no way they'd be
Speaker 1: able to send one of the game's highest value streams
Speaker 1: into danger like that. When people became red zone angry,
Speaker 1: they were in general unpredictable. That wasn't true with bullies.
Speaker 1: I knew this from experience. It was the opposite. With bullies,
Speaker 1: I knew exactly what was about to happen. I turned
Speaker 1: to Li Jun and Zang, who sat next to me,
Speaker 1: mouths agape, I quickly whispered, grab your sister and the
Speaker 1: other guy and run toward the troglodites and through them.
Speaker 1: Leave the sword. The lizards are really dumb and slow,
Speaker 1: and their attention is on the hornets. You'll only have
Speaker 1: a few seconds, But Li Jun said, you wanted to
Speaker 1: trade places. The Maestro growled, you don't tell me what
Speaker 1: to do on my own show. Meet. He slammed down
Speaker 1: on the button on his table, and the two men
Speaker 1: to my right vanished. The words death Watch Extreme appeared
Speaker 1: on the giant display. The two men appeared back in
Speaker 1: the scene in the hallway caught between the hornets and
Speaker 1: the Troglodites. For a moment, everything remained frozen except the
Speaker 1: two men. Zang reacted first, shouting, grab your sister as
Speaker 1: he reached down to pick up the fallen third man.
Speaker 1: Just as he moved to pick him up, the scene
Speaker 1: un The sister stumbled as the sword she was grabbing
Speaker 1: for was suddenly several feet away. Lejeune grabbed her wrist
Speaker 1: and pointed run, he cried. The three of them scrambled
Speaker 1: directly at the crowd of Trogoldites, who stood like turkeys
Speaker 1: watching the hornets. The monsters didn't care who their victims were.
Speaker 1: Multiple globs of white spit shot out, splashing into the lizards,
Speaker 1: who in turn raised their clubs and charged at the bugs.
Speaker 1: Both groups of monsters ignored the four humans, who managed
Speaker 1: to slip away and add into the hall. The scene
Speaker 1: ended with Zang forcing a healing potion into the mouth
Speaker 1: of their companion before they slipped into a safe room.
Speaker 1: The video snapped off to a mix of jeers and
Speaker 1: scattered applause. The audience's reaction was subdued, as if they
Speaker 1: weren't sure how to respond. I looked up at the Maestro,
Speaker 1: a huge smile on my face, glurt on that motherfucker,
Speaker 1: I said, it is very satisfying. I knew that he
Speaker 1: was about to be put through it because of this,
Speaker 1: but I I didn't care. I still was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know what he could do to Carl that would
Speaker 1: make that not feel worth it right now, because clearly
Speaker 1: Carl knows exactly the kind of bit he's dealing with.
Speaker 1: And so I just was like, I don't know what
Speaker 1: he can even pull out of his bag of tricks
Speaker 1: that Carl won't be able to spin. If you've got
Speaker 1: that audience, that's the thing that's like to Carl's total advantage,
Speaker 1: you know. Plus, as he has mentioned, we are expensive.
Speaker 1: So they watched now him and the Elemental and Donah
Speaker 1: and everybody. I love, Donut saying to him, Carl, you
Speaker 1: scare me when you get that angry. Now he hates us.
Speaker 1: I don't like people hating us. Our followers are going
Speaker 1: to go down. Yeah, I don't think you need to
Speaker 1: worry about that. Look, Donut, the show isn't over yet.
Speaker 1: See those two chairs. I think it's Do you think
Speaker 1: it's miss Beatrice? Maybe her and her boyfriend, or maybe
Speaker 1: it's miss Beatrice and Ferdinand. The way that she says
Speaker 1: her and her boyfriend is so insulting. Like, I get it,
Speaker 1: she was cheating like a motherfucker all the time. I
Speaker 1: get it, I do, But damn, donut do you need
Speaker 1: to act like he isn't right there thinking that he
Speaker 1: is her boyfriend? Also like cruel absolutely, And also the
Speaker 1: fact that she still seems to think Beatrice is alive.
Speaker 1: I can't tell if she really believes it or if
Speaker 1: she's just in denial. I just you know, I can't tell.
Speaker 1: The Maestro At this point, Carl demands, were you ever
Speaker 1: a crawler? And He's like, of course, I wasn't a
Speaker 1: fucking crawler. My family was there when they created the crawl.
Speaker 1: If you get to the ninth floor, you're gonna learn
Speaker 1: all about it. And apparently it's related to the whole
Speaker 1: thing with her crown the Blood Sultanate. Are you guys
Speaker 1: part of the Blood Sultanate? Do I look like a
Speaker 1: fucking noog out of you? My family's Skull clan has
Speaker 1: been victorious six times out of the last ten Faction
Speaker 1: wars top three. Every time, the pitiful Blood Sultan is
Speaker 1: almost always the first of the nine to get eliminated.
Speaker 1: You idiots have been dead since the moment she put
Speaker 1: on that crown. What about you? Are you gonna be
Speaker 1: on the ninth floor. I will be there. I was
Speaker 1: of age last season, but the stupid Squim conglomerate always
Speaker 1: plays Battle Roale, which doesn't have a faction wars or
Speaker 1: Celestial Ascendency segment. But I will be there this year.
Speaker 1: I'm on my way to your stupid planet right now.
Speaker 1: I will be war leader Maestro of the Skull Clan.
Speaker 1: So if you're in then, and what happens if you
Speaker 1: get hurt? Do you guys really die? You think you could? Actually?
Speaker 1: The crowd went absolutely ape shit as the scene ended
Speaker 1: and the lights snapped back on. And I love that
Speaker 1: Dona is reading the room and adjusting her whole vibe
Speaker 1: to match this like shitty attitude. Uh, next time, we'll
Speaker 1: kill that thing ourselves and send pictures to his mama.
Speaker 1: We'll tell her to what was it? Carl suck it?
Speaker 1: I said, glurt blurt blurt blurt. The audience cried, So
Speaker 1: they this is when he's like, I have two surprised guests,
Speaker 1: and it's Frank, you and Maggie My and it's interesting
Speaker 1: how different they seem to be. Frank isn't okay, clearly
Speaker 1: Maggie isn't either, but her not okayness is manifesting in
Speaker 1: a distinctly different way. Um. It was a recap of
Speaker 1: Frank and Maggie's journey so far. I watched as the
Speaker 1: two player killers stumbled into the dungeon. They had someone
Speaker 1: with them, a teenage girl. It showed them coming into
Speaker 1: the tutorial guild. We watched as their guide, one of
Speaker 1: those floating brain mind horrors, sat the three of them
Speaker 1: down and told them the only way to survive was
Speaker 1: to kill other crawlers. The guide had a deep, rumbly voice,
Speaker 1: unlike anything I'd heard before. It was terrifying. The teenager
Speaker 1: wept as the guide explained what had to be done.
Speaker 1: The scene switched to the girl on the ground, injured
Speaker 1: and crying. We hadn't seen what had happened. It looked
Speaker 1: as if she'd maybe been hit with a glob of
Speaker 1: bad lama lava. Frank was also injured, convulsing nearby as
Speaker 1: blood pooled around them. The woman, Maggie sobbed as she
Speaker 1: went to her knees in front of the girl. Mom
Speaker 1: the girl said, it hurts, I know, baby, Maggie said,
Speaker 1: she reached down and to my utter astonishment, she wrapped
Speaker 1: her hands around the girl's throat. She choked her own
Speaker 1: daughter until she died. When it was done, Maggie leaned
Speaker 1: against the dungeon wall and wailed, this is so bizarre
Speaker 1: because Carl demands several times an explanation for why she
Speaker 1: felt like she had to do this, and he doesn't
Speaker 1: ever get a straight answer. And I don't know what
Speaker 1: to think, because I could very easily be like, well,
Speaker 1: maybe she thought that maybe they didn't have like healing potion,
Speaker 1: and she thought that she had to put her out
Speaker 1: of her misery. But like they were looting everybody, there's
Speaker 1: no way that they didn't have some healing potions, Like really,
Speaker 1: Then we see them like go teaming up with another group,
Speaker 1: waiting till their backs are turned and ambushing them. Ivette
Speaker 1: cried for them to stop. Rebecca and another man fled,
Speaker 1: and Frank chased them. It showed the man running directly
Speaker 1: into some plant mob thing I'd never seen before, and
Speaker 1: Frank finally tracking Rebecca down, cornering her. The screen split
Speaker 1: showing Yvette screaming while Maggie tried to calm her. One
Speaker 1: of the other men they'd shot wasn't dead. Maggie put
Speaker 1: a gun in Yvette's hand, told her to shoot the
Speaker 1: man to get the experience. The girl refused, As I expected,
Speaker 1: Frank's entire backstory was complete, made up bullshit. I still
Speaker 1: didn't know if they were cops or not. I suspected
Speaker 1: they were either way. Rebecca w hadn't been some sort
Speaker 1: of human trafficker. She'd been someone like me, afraid, and
Speaker 1: at the end alone. She'd been betrayed and hunted down
Speaker 1: by a fellow human. I thought of the woman's naked,
Speaker 1: stripped bare body. I shook my head in disgust. I
Speaker 1: noted that Maggie's stealth ability worked like my protective shell.
Speaker 1: It cast in a static semicircle and didn't move with them.
Speaker 1: That was good to know. And then we watch as they,
Speaker 1: like hunt other crawlers. Their teenage daughter does not participate.
Speaker 1: The best part is coming up, the Maestro announced, and
Speaker 1: this is when Carl is realizing, oh shit, it's the
Speaker 1: booby trap that he left for these two that got
Speaker 1: their daughter. He dropped it. All three turned to run.
Speaker 1: A moment passed the dynamite went off, shrapnel blasted the
Speaker 1: three crawlers a Lama had and given those horrible injuries
Speaker 1: to the teenage girl I had. You didn't have to
Speaker 1: kill her. Why did you do that to get the experience?
Speaker 1: She would have healed your own daughter. Jesus, Fuck lady,
Speaker 1: you don't know, you don't know anything. You didn't get
Speaker 1: the whole story. She wasn't dead yet, she would have healed.
Speaker 1: Fuck you, you don't know what we've had to do to survive, survive.
Speaker 1: Your daughter is dead, but it's okay because you got
Speaker 1: credit for the kill. I'm sure she'd be so fucking proud.
Speaker 1: Maggie leaped from her chair, pulling a black dagger that
Speaker 1: glowed with a purple halo. She lunged at me. I
Speaker 1: didn't flinch. Her jab passed harmlessly through my throat the drager.
Speaker 1: The dagger dropped away as Maggie cried out in pain,
Speaker 1: clutching her hand. You don't know, you don't know anything.
Speaker 1: You didn't get the whole story. What possible context wouldn't
Speaker 1: make this make sense? I'm genuinely asking, like, I'm not
Speaker 1: saying it doesn't exist. I bet it does, But I
Speaker 1: really can't think of anything. I love this sort of
Speaker 1: thing because a lot of times, when you have these
Speaker 1: moments of somebody misunderstanding a thing because they don't have context,
Speaker 1: it can be like really easy from the outside to
Speaker 1: guess what the context is when something has been written
Speaker 1: kind of lazily. And I don't feel that way about
Speaker 1: this at all. This does not feel lazy. I genuinely
Speaker 1: am like baffled, and I thought about it a lot.
Speaker 1: I read this last night, and I can't come up
Speaker 1: with anything like unless they had no healing potions, And
Speaker 1: even so, did she did she like say something like
Speaker 1: if I get injured, I'd rather you took me out
Speaker 1: than make me be come like you like, I can't.
Speaker 1: I don't even know. I don't feel like they would
Speaker 1: listen to her if they, even if she did ask
Speaker 1: that she's a teenager. They're her parents, and they are
Speaker 1: responsible for her in a way that they clearly are
Speaker 1: willing to do anything for her, So what the hell?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Let's see, as far as I'm concerned,
Speaker 1: this is Carl. Any business I've had with these two
Speaker 1: has already been transacted. I'm sorry about what happened to
Speaker 1: your kid, but fuck you, Fuck both of you. She
Speaker 1: deserved better. We all would have been stronger together. Your
Speaker 1: game guide is a piece of shit. I turned toward
Speaker 1: Frank and met the man's eyes. The man had changed
Speaker 1: significantly since the last time we'd seen each other. He
Speaker 1: looked away and down the fact that this game guide
Speaker 1: like this is something that has already come up, but
Speaker 1: that the type of game guides people get really seems
Speaker 1: to influence how they play the game, and I again
Speaker 1: bringing up the analogy for all of this just being
Speaker 1: like living in a hyper capitalist society. What you are
Speaker 1: told is the way to operate is a difficult thing
Speaker 1: to shake. Even if you begin to learn that maybe
Speaker 1: it's not as simple as they said. It's still really
Speaker 1: hard when you don't know anything and you're coming into
Speaker 1: something as alien literally as this is, to not like
Speaker 1: take it seriously when somebody is giving you advice, you know.
Speaker 1: And it's also kind of fucked up because I'm assuming
Speaker 1: that advice paid off. Probably when they killed people, they
Speaker 1: got experience, you know, they like it did work to
Speaker 1: an extent, I don't know. Oh Rob was in the
Speaker 1: chat and says there was the Chloricon de buff that
Speaker 1: prevented Carl from healing even with a healing potion. So
Speaker 1: there are contexts out there where a healing potion wouldn't work,
Speaker 1: that's true. Carl says something about how like she wouldn't
Speaker 1: die though she would have recovered. He doesn't even say
Speaker 1: give her a healing potion. He makes it sound like
Speaker 1: she would have recovered from this regardless of a healing potion.
Speaker 1: And maybe I'm misunderstanding that. It's just the way that
Speaker 1: it sounded to me when he said it, and so like,
Speaker 1: it's difficult to know, obviously, but overall, the fact that
Speaker 1: who you get as a guide is like has such
Speaker 1: an effect. It's basically the equivalent of like your parents,
Speaker 1: you know. And if you get somebody who decides to
Speaker 1: be really helpful and informative and give you all sides
Speaker 1: to things and let you choose your own method, it's
Speaker 1: going to be a really different game for you than
Speaker 1: somebody who tells you the only way to manage is
Speaker 1: to kill other people. It's just I don't like this.
Speaker 1: This is the reason I haven't had fucking children, guys.
Speaker 1: It's too big a responsibility. I can't handle it. My
Speaker 1: anxiety will not allow me. And it's sort of ironic
Speaker 1: when I step back and look at some of the
Speaker 1: parents out there, and I'm like, I would definitely, at
Speaker 1: the very least do a better job than that person,
Speaker 1: which I probably would, but also, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: would just fuck up in other ways. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't like anybody out there who has decided it
Speaker 1: raise children. I don't know where you got the nerve.
Speaker 1: I genuinely don't like. It. Takes a kind of you
Speaker 1: could call it faith, you could call it arrogance. I
Speaker 1: don't even know what to call it. But believing that
Speaker 1: you can raise a person, I just don't have it.
Speaker 1: Not for me, absolutely not. So anyway, m the Maggie says,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna find you. I'm gonna watch you die. You
Speaker 1: and the fucking cat oooooooo. The crowd said, like we
Speaker 1: were on an episode of the goddamn Jerry Springer Show.
Speaker 1: Don't bring me into this, Donut said, raising a paw
Speaker 1: in defense, I'm not the one who went all danger
Speaker 1: dingo on my own kid. The crowd screamed with laughter.
Speaker 1: I had to hand it to her. Doughnut was oftentimes
Speaker 1: caught off guard, but she was highly adaptable. She knew
Speaker 1: how to read a crowd that was for sure, But
Speaker 1: as much as I disliked these two assholes, they weren't
Speaker 1: the real enemy. We needed to end this. This bullshit
Speaker 1: didn't serve any of us. So Uh Maestro keeps trying
Speaker 1: to like ask questions, why did you kill your own daughter? Carl?
Speaker 1: How does it feel to know you're partially responsible for
Speaker 1: the death of another human? Maggie said nothing but fuck you.
Speaker 1: Frank didn't say a word the whole time. Donut would
Speaker 1: only talk directly to the audience, and I just grunted.
Speaker 1: It was obvious the orc wasn't good at asking interview questions,
Speaker 1: especially with a group of hostile guests. The crowd grew restless,
Speaker 1: Doughnut started making wise cracks. The Maestro tried to ask
Speaker 1: or something, and she just ignored him. She looked directly
Speaker 1: at the audience and said, I once watched a cocker
Speaker 1: spaniel lick her own butthole for thirty minutes straight. That
Speaker 1: was more insightful than that question, and he eventually just
Speaker 1: gives up. We have parting gifts, are you piglets excited
Speaker 1: to see what we got for the crawlers? So he
Speaker 1: gives uh Carl a pair of boots and I had
Speaker 1: said earlier on that like, I didn't think Carl was
Speaker 1: ever gonna get boots, because like he gets a buff
Speaker 1: almost immediately for killing with his bare feet, and so
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, then you might not want to
Speaker 1: like change your tactic. And that's exactly what he says here,
Speaker 1: is he's just gonna wear him in the safe room
Speaker 1: because obviously he has so many skills that are specific
Speaker 1: to the fact that he is fighting barefoot, and the
Speaker 1: gift is supposed to like set him off, but he
Speaker 1: just sort of is like, Ah, that's funny, and it's
Speaker 1: almost like the audience doesn't even really get the joke
Speaker 1: that was being set up. I love them. I hope
Speaker 1: they weren't too expensive. The Maestro took a deep breath
Speaker 1: and gave me his best fuck you glare. He turned
Speaker 1: to Frank and Maggie. So Frank has a skill called
Speaker 1: find Crawler, which shows you any crawlers within five square kilometers.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's good enough. That is a legendary
Speaker 1: skill potion. Either of you drink that fucker down and
Speaker 1: it will upgrade your fine Crawler skill to level fifteen.
Speaker 1: That means you can put in any crawler's name and
Speaker 1: it'll tell you exactly where they are, no matter how far. Wait,
Speaker 1: can I drink this? Frank is the one with the skill,
Speaker 1: Maggie asked. Oh yeah, that'll take you all the way
Speaker 1: to the top level of twenty if you have the
Speaker 1: right class. But if you take it now, it'll take
Speaker 1: you up to fifteen. No problem, I sighed, So are
Speaker 1: we done here? The Maestro seemed to be at a
Speaker 1: loss for words, pissed his gifts hadn't gone over well
Speaker 1: with the audience. Ah, thanks to my piglets. You know,
Speaker 1: the Maestro takes care of you fuckers. You know what
Speaker 1: to do. The audience luke warmly glurp glurpt. Well, we
Speaker 1: probably won't be coming back on this show, pork boy,
Speaker 1: I said, standing up. But I imagine we'll see each
Speaker 1: other again soon enough. I look forward to kicking your
Speaker 1: ass all over again on the ninth floor, that is,
Speaker 1: if you're not too much of a puss to face me. Now.
Speaker 1: That that garnered a reaction from the crowd. As the
Speaker 1: show ended, and the crowd cheered final Happy to have
Speaker 1: something to holler about, I turned my attention to the
Speaker 1: two crawlers sitting next to us. Frank continued to stare
Speaker 1: straight down a shell of a man. Maggie clutched the
Speaker 1: skilled potion to her chest, staring at me for the
Speaker 1: first time. The woman smiled. So we jumped to chapter
Speaker 1: forty four, in which Donah immediately is just like, I
Speaker 1: don't get why she killed her daughter, Like what was
Speaker 1: the purpose of this? And when they let's see, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to find the spot here it is. There's a
Speaker 1: moment where Donah asks him about Mordecai, saying like, she's
Speaker 1: the one with the crown on her head. You don't
Speaker 1: have to stay with her. It's her crown, not yours.
Speaker 1: And she asks him about it, and he's just like,
Speaker 1: let's just fucking worry about that. When we get to it, Okay,
Speaker 1: she said, her voice small. She finally settled next to me,
Speaker 1: and she was asleep before I was. So there's something
Speaker 1: about this and the fact that Donut is anxious about
Speaker 1: it that's really touching. And I do kind of wonder, like,
Speaker 1: you know, I've talked about whether or not she is
Speaker 1: in denial about b and I think it's interesting when
Speaker 1: Carl says she was going to update to a younger
Speaker 1: model and that he didn't want to tell her. Nobody
Speaker 1: needed to tell Donut that Carl was going to cadnap her.
Speaker 1: She just watched his internet browsing and was able to
Speaker 1: put two and two together. I have a hard time
Speaker 1: thinking she wouldn't have put two and two together about B, Like,
Speaker 1: I have to think that she would have noticed something
Speaker 1: unless B didn't look for another animal from Like maybe
Speaker 1: she just talked about it with Carl, But even so,
Speaker 1: I would think she'd hear don't would hear? You know? So,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm just wondering how much of this
Speaker 1: is just her burying her head in the sand. So
Speaker 1: we hear about some other guys who wind up in
Speaker 1: like a weird sort of sewer system, and they all
Speaker 1: get killed except for one dude who was left, and
Speaker 1: it showed the rage gentlemental tumbling into the hole. We
Speaker 1: watched the monster's health bar plummet, and then the monsters
Speaker 1: all experience denied, slammed onto the screen. The show ended
Speaker 1: with a MANI pausing at the scorched entrance to the
Speaker 1: third floor. She looked up into the air and raised
Speaker 1: a middle finger before going inside. Hello, crawlers, keep up
Speaker 1: the good work. Everything is running smoothly. Now that we've
Speaker 1: reached the halfway point of the level, game guides are
Speaker 1: now able to instruct you upon some of the intricacies
Speaker 1: regarding the third floor and how the race and class
Speaker 1: selection process works. Be sure to visit your game guide
Speaker 1: prior to descending in order to make the transition more
Speaker 1: smooth effective Immediately, any nonsapient mobs who happen upon a
Speaker 1: stairwell will not be disintegrated. Yes, we all just watched
Speaker 1: that rule get exploited on the recap episode. It was
Speaker 1: very clever and exciting, but it's not going to happen again.
Speaker 1: I figured that was how they were going to handle it,
Speaker 1: but I wasn't sure if there was like a way
Speaker 1: around it. Of course there is. The system AI has
Speaker 1: determined the proliferation of the brindled vespas is too aggressive,
Speaker 1: and we have had the number of these mobs and
Speaker 1: admin notice a new tab is available in your interface accounts.
Speaker 1: There was only one item, creator's fee Karl's Jugaboom royalty
Speaker 1: one gold coin per kill current kills four. There was
Speaker 1: a button cash out. Now below that was a small
Speaker 1: line that I could barely read. There was no way
Speaker 1: to zoom in I had to squint count updates once
Speaker 1: daily two gold coins plus twenty five percent deposit fee,
Speaker 1: rounded up, deducted upon cash out. Funds not deposited are
Speaker 1: subject to forfeiture upon death. I swear to God, this
Speaker 1: is so funny. As a creator, it is like this.
Speaker 1: This is part of why I stuck with Patreon, because
Speaker 1: they had a much lower fee when they first started,
Speaker 1: and I got in on the ground floor and they
Speaker 1: let me, as like one of the original creators to
Speaker 1: sign up with them, keep that rate even once they
Speaker 1: began to expand so dramatically as they have over the
Speaker 1: past few years. So I am literally never leaving, not
Speaker 1: as long as they let me keep that rate, because
Speaker 1: no place else will match it anymore. It does not happen.
Speaker 1: And you know, even when you guys buy these episodes,
Speaker 1: I have to pay a chunk of that to PayPal
Speaker 1: for processing the purchase, and of course I have to
Speaker 1: pay for the platform that you're using to book the
Speaker 1: episode as well. So it just it's taking all kinds
Speaker 1: of fees right off at the top, and it is
Speaker 1: really really agonizing, like it doesn't look like a lot,
Speaker 1: but it really adds up quickly, and it is so
Speaker 1: considering that I'm paying all of that off the top,
Speaker 1: and then I just have to pay my regular taxes
Speaker 1: in addition to it, I don't wind up with very much.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, it's this kind of like tiny fine
Speaker 1: print too, about how like there's a standard like fee
Speaker 1: in addition to a percentage fee, and that standard fee
Speaker 1: comes out every time. I had been hit with that
Speaker 1: kind of thing before where I didn't realize it and
Speaker 1: I cashed out and I was like, why is there
Speaker 1: like less than half of what I should be getting?
Speaker 1: And then I realized, like, I didn't see that fine
Speaker 1: So this is completely correct. So let's see, are we running?
Speaker 1: Are we hiding from Frank Q and Maggie May? No?
Speaker 1: That was my first instinct, but now that I've slept
Speaker 1: on it, I've changed my mind. That woman is hell
Speaker 1: bent on hunting us down, and we're going to have
Speaker 1: to deal with it sooner rather than later. I don't
Speaker 1: know if they're coming now or not. I'd rather be
Speaker 1: ready than have her sneak up behind us. But how
Speaker 1: can we do that? They can track us and go invisible.
Speaker 1: Her invisibility is not nearly as powerful as I first though.
Speaker 1: We'll need to take out the local neighborhood boss and
Speaker 1: get that map. It'll make our lives much easier. And
Speaker 1: this is when Zev turns up, and it turns out
Speaker 1: it was true that Zev warning them to run was
Speaker 1: what she had been penalized for, and they eventually decide
Speaker 1: that he had noticed simultaneous with her yelling, so they
Speaker 1: ruled it as not cheating, but they had to put
Speaker 1: her in a sort of purgatory for a lotle while.
Speaker 1: And they find out that apparently the Maestro is part
Speaker 1: of a group of people that is in opposition to
Speaker 1: the party, and so the fact that he made this
Speaker 1: guy look like a complete asshole makes them very, very happy.
Speaker 1: And Carl is of two minds about this, because of
Speaker 1: course it's great that this has worked for him, but
Speaker 1: it also feels like I don't want to be doing
Speaker 1: anything to help the party, you know, like that also sucks.
Speaker 1: That show is awful. Zev, it's abusive, she nodded, and
Speaker 1: I would like to apologize. Mukden should never have booked it.
Speaker 1: The show I had scheduled also caters to the younger crowd,
Speaker 1: but it would be a discussion regarding specific tactics. They
Speaker 1: do it in a creative, silly way. But to answer
Speaker 1: your question, Boren is not allowed to discriminate against syndicate
Speaker 1: member production companies. And she, let's see, there's some point
Speaker 1: where she mentions, uh, Mordecai is now authorized to tell
Speaker 1: you about the third floor, but that's it. Is there
Speaker 1: any way you can tell us about the ninth floor
Speaker 1: where he's going to be. What I can say is
Speaker 1: every three floors are the same setting sort of. The third, sixth, ninth,
Speaker 1: and so forth are all linked in a way that
Speaker 1: will later become clear. What if all the crawlers die
Speaker 1: before the ninth floor, that probably isn't going to happen.
Speaker 1: We've never had a full player extinction before the ninth floor.
Speaker 1: It happens on the ninth floor a lot, but not before. Again,
Speaker 1: I can't tell you much, but those floors are all
Speaker 1: all come into existence at the same time. You can
Speaker 1: only visit them in contact with the rest of the
Speaker 1: crawl But that doesn't mean they're not being utilized, which
Speaker 1: I thought was very interesting. I have been assuming everything
Speaker 1: is constructed as needed, but the fact that they're still
Speaker 1: they're like already they're weird, you know. So let's see oh, right,
Speaker 1: now that the Meatal Lark storyline is completed, we can
Speaker 1: wait a day or two before focusing on the next
Speaker 1: story arc. How is this thing with Frank and Maggie
Speaker 1: going over? It has potential, but it's already tired. The
Speaker 1: grape you have with Prince Maestro is getting much more attention,
Speaker 1: especially with that pork boy snick that just showed up
Speaker 1: two hours old and it's already trending all over the
Speaker 1: social media tunnels. Back up, What the hell is a
Speaker 1: pork boy snick? Ah? Yeah, I need to tell you
Speaker 1: about this. So you have had a similar phenomenon on Earth.
Speaker 1: Are you familiar with the concept of fan fiction? And
Speaker 1: she has to explain this to Donut in the context
Speaker 1: of Gossip Girl, and Donut freaks out. So a snick
Speaker 1: is kind of like a fan fiction. But it's a video.
Speaker 1: This is short and a little explicit. What was in
Speaker 1: the video? Was I in it? Donna asked, No, just Carl,
Speaker 1: Karl and the Maestro. And let's just say Carl has
Speaker 1: the upper hand during the scene. Uh, who made it?
Speaker 1: So that's the interesting part. It's a bit of a mystery.
Speaker 1: It showed up just a few hours after your interview.
Speaker 1: Nobody knows where it came from, but it went very viral,
Speaker 1: very fast. The quality is flawless. In fact, it came
Speaker 1: out so fast and people think it's real. It's not right.
Speaker 1: Are you asking me if I fucked the orc? Wait,
Speaker 1: it's a sex tape with Carl and the Maestro, Doughnut said.
Speaker 1: She practically fell off her chair laughing. It is a
Speaker 1: little funny, but the Skull Empire probably isn't going to
Speaker 1: find it amusing. They haven't reacted yet, not officially. It
Speaker 1: is it an insult, though, I asked, I'm not gay,
Speaker 1: but does it matter? The Tusclinge seem to be very
Speaker 1: open with, you know, weird stuff. Do people really care?
Speaker 1: It's not that you're right, most wouldn't care. But this
Speaker 1: is a prince of the Skull Empire, and that video
Speaker 1: is both graphic and humiliating. You two say things to
Speaker 1: each other. Can we watch it? Don't ask? I want
Speaker 1: to watch it. That sort of thing has to happen
Speaker 1: all the time. I said that prince is such a
Speaker 1: cock womble. I can't imagine the intergalactic Internet isn't filled
Speaker 1: with stuff like that. Oh it is. This is different.
Speaker 1: The quality is so good, and it's just everywhere right now,
Speaker 1: everyone's calling the Prince pork Boy and Carl's naughty little Piggy.
Speaker 1: You have to watch the video anyway, If the Skull
Speaker 1: Empire demands people stop calling him that, it's going to
Speaker 1: be just like the mud Skipper thing all over again.
Speaker 1: I absolutely cannot the fact that they're like, so this
Speaker 1: is reminding me of just AI and how you can
Speaker 1: make AI of people. And there are definitely a lot
Speaker 1: of like more accessible AI like image generators that now
Speaker 1: have particular rules set so that you can't make imagery
Speaker 1: that looks like a person that exists. Because there was
Speaker 1: a really like ugly moment when Mey and the Stallion
Speaker 1: somebody made like an extremely convincing AI sex tape of
Speaker 1: her and it was circulating everywhere, and it like all
Speaker 1: that dropped and sort of blew up the same day
Speaker 1: that she was about to go out on stage, and
Speaker 1: she like wound up in tears on stage because it
Speaker 1: was just like it really got to her, you know.
Speaker 1: And so there's just I've I tried to use an
Speaker 1: AI the other day. I don't approve of AI imagery
Speaker 1: unless you keep it entirely private. So I do it
Speaker 1: just to like create images of characters that I am
Speaker 1: trying to write about for my own personal inspo. But
Speaker 1: I don't think that I will ever share those images
Speaker 1: anywhere because AI steals. It's just the nature of it.
Speaker 1: So this AI that I tried to use to create
Speaker 1: character images, I had to find the exact right wording
Speaker 1: or else it wouldn't make people at all, because it
Speaker 1: kept thinking that I was trying to make a real person,
Speaker 1: and I kept having to be like, this is for
Speaker 1: a fictional character, and then it finally would. But there's
Speaker 1: a lot of restrictions on that now. But this is
Speaker 1: what I'm assuming is sort of like at play here,
Speaker 1: you know. So of course Carl is like, I hope
Speaker 1: that they're not going to be fucking gunning for us,
Speaker 1: and Zev says, there's just no such thing as bad publicity,
Speaker 1: and they are, you know, as long as you're not
Speaker 1: disparaging them, they're perfectly happy with this. And she said, besides,
Speaker 1: there's not much other governments can do to you, not
Speaker 1: until the sixth floor or if they spring for a
Speaker 1: deity sponsorship this season. But anyway, don't worry about anything
Speaker 1: happening outside your floor. That's my job, Carl. I can't
Speaker 1: believe you hooked up with that guy, Donut said loudly,
Speaker 1: pushed at the door. She posted at the door. Hack
Speaker 1: get it. He sure squealed a lot, though her laughter
Speaker 1: trailed off into the hallway. God damn it, Donut. So
Speaker 1: she's just trying to set it up that everybody believes
Speaker 1: that he actually did, which is genuinely very funny, like
Speaker 1: why not lean into it? Whatever. So this is when
Speaker 1: they hit a boss chamber that is very very upsetting
Speaker 1: to me, and I'm kind of relieved in a way
Speaker 1: that I have like pretty much run out of time
Speaker 1: by this point because I don't want to get into
Speaker 1: the details of this very much. It's obviously like dog fighting,
Speaker 1: but with these dingoes instead, and they are just being
Speaker 1: abused and being left injured in their kennels, and you guys,
Speaker 1: animal cruelty is just something that makes me literally sick
Speaker 1: to my stomach, and it is so difficult like for
Speaker 1: me to even read about in a fictional setting. I
Speaker 1: do not like it. It's a It's something that makes me
Speaker 1: want to stop watching things sometimes, even in like one
Speaker 1: piece in a very cartoony universe, when there are animals
Speaker 1: that are being like used in a like mean spirited way.
Speaker 1: I just get like, can we just please move on
Speaker 1: from this part of the story. So what they wind
Speaker 1: up going up against is a frenzied Gerbil, And clearly
Speaker 1: it's supposed to be eventually that the gerbil like lets
Speaker 1: lose these dingoes. But because Carl fed the dingo a
Speaker 1: little treat earlier, it doesn't attack him. All of them,
Speaker 1: are you know what I mean? Like they all wind
Speaker 1: up being like friendly to him more or less. Frenzy
Speaker 1: Gerbil Level eleven neighborhood boss. And I'm not going to
Speaker 1: read this whole thing, but suffice to say he's fast,
Speaker 1: he's angry, and by the time you're done reading this,
Speaker 1: he's already halfway to your jugular. You might want to duck,
Speaker 1: which he does, and it goes right over his head. Carl,
Speaker 1: I can't help but think this boss has been placed
Speaker 1: here for a very specific reason. What do you mean?
Speaker 1: Most of the cobalts were dead, but a few at
Speaker 1: the edges of the blast had survived. And this is
Speaker 1: when he opens the doors. The dingoes emerged and their
Speaker 1: dots are all white. One of the dingoes, the first
Speaker 1: one we'd fed, leaped out and pounced right onto Ralph.
Speaker 1: It happened quick, lightning fast behind us. The remaining coalbalts
Speaker 1: fell back as the other dingoes turned on their former masters,
Speaker 1: dropping upon them and ripping them apart savagely. The cobalts
Speaker 1: weren't armed, and there weren't many of them. The barking,
Speaker 1: snarling dingoes finished them off in seconds and doughnuts like
Speaker 1: that was easy. And they're looking around and he is
Speaker 1: realizing that, like the music hasn't stopped, and he's like,
Speaker 1: I've got to be missing something. What is it? And
Speaker 1: she said something like, I guess I was wrong. The
Speaker 1: one eyed dingo who'd eaten Ralph continued to stand where
Speaker 1: he'd swallowed the miniature boss. He seemed frozen in place.
Speaker 1: The creature looked at us and started to whine, it's
Speaker 1: a small rodent. Your feet are all nice and shiny,
Speaker 1: as Miss Beatrice used to say, time to pay the
Speaker 1: daddy tax. Wait, under what circumstances would she say that?
Speaker 1: At that moment, the dingo's head exploded. I hated it.
Speaker 1: I hated it so much. And the gerbil comes out
Speaker 1: and it's coming at them, and the gerbil bounced off
Speaker 1: the floor with a sickening crunch. I Mike tightened it
Speaker 1: with all my strength and it was stunned. And he realizes, like,
Speaker 1: I have never gotten the stunned to work ever, So
Speaker 1: he thinks about punching it to death, and then he
Speaker 1: remembers what Donut said, if it makes you feel better,
Speaker 1: she was talking about you, you're the daddy. No, Donut,
Speaker 1: that does not make me feel better. That's the opposite
Speaker 1: of making me feel better. I placed my bare right
Speaker 1: foot upon the small monster. Sorry, Ralph, I said, I
Speaker 1: don't know how Beatrice could be talking about the daddy
Speaker 1: tags to somebody else about Carl. How does that work?
Speaker 1: I I feel like I'm missing something here. Rob says.
Speaker 1: The key is definitely to not know enough about what
Speaker 1: you're getting into the first time around. Oh, Rob is
Speaker 1: talking about parenting. For a second, I thought you were
Speaker 1: talking about like dungeon crawling, and I was like, what
Speaker 1: all I want is a friend to live with. Laboon
Speaker 1: says Rob amen another one piece thing, guys, but like, yeah,
Speaker 1: justice for Laboon and for the Princess of Alabasta, not
Speaker 1: to try and blow him up from the inside. There
Speaker 1: are so many animals in one piece that people just
Speaker 1: like punch the shit out of and I'm like, can
Speaker 1: we fucking not? You know? The upside is though, when
Speaker 1: they turn into our friends, it's so delightful and gratifying,
Speaker 1: so you know, pluses and minus is. But yeah, So
Speaker 1: that is the end of this section, and I don't
Speaker 1: think that I have that many less. Let me see,
Speaker 1: I have got four episodes left to record, right, No, five,
Speaker 1: five episodes left. Oh wait, but only one more of
Speaker 1: this book. The other four episodes are for Carl's Doomsday
Speaker 1: Scenario Book two, so I'm going to be finishing this
Speaker 1: book on the next recording. Wow, this felt really short,
Speaker 1: but I'm looking forward to getting into the second one,
Speaker 1: so bring it on, all right, guys, Well, thank you
Speaker 1: all again for hanging out with me. I appreciate you
Speaker 1: all a lot. I hope that you are all enjoying
Speaker 1: the coverage. And until next time to the lou motherfuckers.
Speaker 1: That was an Unspoiled Network podcast.