1
00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:03,799
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Teachers Need Teachers Podcasts, the podcast for

2
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:07,519
teachers who don't want to just survive teaching but actually thrive.

3
00:00:08,359 --> 00:00:11,279
I'm your host, Kim Laprie. If you're a long time listener,

4
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,919
you probably notice that it's been a while. It's been

5
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,640
about a year and a half since my last episode,

6
00:00:17,679 --> 00:00:22,559
and I know that gap didn't go unnoticed. During that time.

7
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,399
I had a lot of people reach out, and I'm

8
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:29,480
really really grateful. It was about the podcast, about the

9
00:00:29,559 --> 00:00:33,119
YouTube channel, and by the way, yes, it was always

10
00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,880
the same content for both. I'm not sure if you're

11
00:00:36,439 --> 00:00:39,520
aware of that. Some people thanked me and told me

12
00:00:39,679 --> 00:00:43,439
how helpful the episodes were, and some asked if I

13
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:46,479
was going to start posting again if you even asked

14
00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:50,479
about being guests, which I'll be honest not the biggest

15
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,479
fan of that format, but it doesn't mean that I'm

16
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:57,039
not possibly open to it in the future. Right now,

17
00:00:57,079 --> 00:00:59,079
I sort of have an idea of how I want

18
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,719
the podcast has to go in a way that has

19
00:01:02,719 --> 00:01:04,599
at least amount of friction for me. But I'm going

20
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:08,120
to go more into that. But the most common question, though,

21
00:01:08,239 --> 00:01:11,480
really was when when are you coming back? And for

22
00:01:11,519 --> 00:01:15,680
a long time, it really didn't have an answer. So

23
00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:18,480
let me kind of go into this. And I know

24
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:23,719
this isn't usually the type of episode that people gravitate

25
00:01:23,799 --> 00:01:28,640
towards when they're looking for helpful information on teaching, But

26
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,319
maybe you were in a similar situation to me and

27
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:35,239
you can relate, and this is how I dealt with it.

28
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:38,079
So let's start with, first of all, why I slipped away.

29
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:42,040
So I went back and forth about restarting the podcast

30
00:01:42,159 --> 00:01:44,799
more times than I can count, and every time I

31
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:50,879
considered coming back, the same few things consistently stopped me. First,

32
00:01:51,439 --> 00:01:54,519
I didn't feel like I had anything new to add,

33
00:01:55,439 --> 00:01:58,040
which might seem silly, but I don't know. I feel

34
00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,760
like I had already said everything and all of my

35
00:01:59,799 --> 00:02:05,359
other episodes. So also, my teaching experience doesn't always look

36
00:02:05,719 --> 00:02:08,639
like what we hear about the BOST online. I don't

37
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:12,199
have constant horror stories or daily chaos, and I was

38
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:17,879
worried that sharing my feelings might feel invalidating to others.

39
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:20,560
I didn't want to sound like I was minimizing anyone

40
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:25,280
else's experience, or worse, gaslighting people into thinking they were

41
00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:29,199
doing something wrong because their classroom felt harder than mine.

42
00:02:30,319 --> 00:02:34,159
Another reason I stepped away was that I was creating

43
00:02:34,199 --> 00:02:36,439
content and the way that I was doing it it

44
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,960
just wasn't sustainable. I have very high standards for what

45
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,879
I put out into the world, and each episode literally

46
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:50,360
took hours, so it would be multiple takes, especially because

47
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:55,000
I would be looking into the camera, which is different

48
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,759
from now, but I would like be looking to the

49
00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:01,319
camera and having to memorize lined by life, and then

50
00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,599
I would have to like edit it and put in

51
00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:07,360
like visuals and images, and at some point I even

52
00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:11,199
paid someone to help with the video because I felt

53
00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:15,800
like that level of professionalism in a video was what

54
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:19,680
people expected on YouTube. Just thinking about putting that level

55
00:03:19,719 --> 00:03:22,960
of time, money, and energy back into it again just

56
00:03:23,039 --> 00:03:29,039
created this visceral reaction in my body and I would

57
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,719
kind of panic when I was thinking about it, and

58
00:03:31,759 --> 00:03:35,159
that was my signal that something wasn't great. So creating

59
00:03:35,159 --> 00:03:39,960
content it also tapped into my own insecurities, to be honest,

60
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,680
like how I looked, whether my hair and makeup or

61
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:48,319
right the lighting the thumbnails. I mean, if you've ever

62
00:03:48,479 --> 00:03:54,080
created anything publicly, especially on like social media or YouTube,

63
00:03:54,919 --> 00:03:58,560
casually or not, you understand how much mental energy that takes.

64
00:03:58,599 --> 00:04:03,120
And unless you your image is, you know, showing like

65
00:04:03,319 --> 00:04:06,280
your true raw self all the time. A lot of

66
00:04:06,319 --> 00:04:08,960
us are putting stuff out there in a way where

67
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,159
we want to look our best. We want to look

68
00:04:11,199 --> 00:04:13,319
at what we're what we're putting out and feel good

69
00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:15,439
about what we see. That takes a lot of energy,

70
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:20,920
and it takes a lot of vulnerability too, And that

71
00:04:21,079 --> 00:04:23,040
was just something you know, for the past year and

72
00:04:23,079 --> 00:04:25,519
a half that I just didn't have anymore, just couldn't

73
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,879
do it. And finally, you know, I only have so

74
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,759
much energy, and saying yes the podcast meant saying no

75
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:36,839
to time with myself and my family. So if you've

76
00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:39,120
ever been in a situation like this, maybe you're also

77
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:44,639
a teacher who puts stuff on social media, then you understand.

78
00:04:45,079 --> 00:04:48,759
So here's why I'm actually back Now. I'm in a

79
00:04:48,759 --> 00:04:52,680
different place, like I'm generally in a really good place.

80
00:04:53,319 --> 00:04:55,199
And over the past year and a half, I've been

81
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,839
working on myself, which I think is important for everyone,

82
00:04:59,759 --> 00:05:05,720
both mentally and physically. I was diagnosed with ADHD, which

83
00:05:06,879 --> 00:05:11,879
completely blindsided me at first, but then everything made sense.

84
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:16,360
Maybe someday I'll talk about that, especially for those of

85
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:23,160
you who are also neurodivergent teachers. It can affect in

86
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:26,839
so many ways how we do our jobs and how

87
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:30,439
hard it can be. But you know, apparently I coped

88
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,800
for the longest time until I didn't, which is also

89
00:05:33,879 --> 00:05:36,480
one of the reasons why I went to get diagnosed

90
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:39,480
to see what was up. You might also notice some

91
00:05:39,519 --> 00:05:42,639
differences and my cadence and the way that I talk.

92
00:05:43,199 --> 00:05:48,279
I was in a car accident and I had a concussion.

93
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,720
It has affected my memory in some ways. It's affected

94
00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:57,360
the flow in terms of how I speak. That coupled

95
00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:01,399
with the ADHD, which I am managing so much better now,

96
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:06,879
but it is harder for me to collect my thoughts.

97
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:10,319
I find myself being having to pause a lot and

98
00:06:10,319 --> 00:06:14,839
be really purposeful, and past me would spend so much

99
00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:19,360
time trying to edit every single and pause because it's

100
00:06:19,399 --> 00:06:23,519
probably annoying for you as the listener, to hear every

101
00:06:23,519 --> 00:06:25,839
single pause. And I'll probably do some light editing on

102
00:06:25,879 --> 00:06:29,319
this so that when I'm pausing to think, you're not

103
00:06:29,399 --> 00:06:33,120
sitting there feeling awkward. One of the biggest shifts for

104
00:06:33,199 --> 00:06:36,720
me has been also letting go of perfectionism and the

105
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:41,600
constant worry about what other people think. There's this quote

106
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:45,240
from Mel Robbins that really stuck with me. It's none

107
00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:49,199
of my business what other people think about me. And

108
00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:52,519
it's a mantra that I still have to remind myself

109
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:58,720
about because it does creep in the insecurities. But also,

110
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:04,000
I know that what I'm putting out is helpful for teachers,

111
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:08,279
and it's whether you agree with my teaching philosophies or

112
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:11,839
life philosophies. I'm just hoping that as long as I

113
00:07:11,879 --> 00:07:15,079
can help a handful of people, then you know, it's

114
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,720
okay if some people think that I look weird, or

115
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:21,000
that I sound weird, or that what I'm saying doesn't

116
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:25,079
apply to them. So that was a really big driver

117
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:29,040
for me, is that I feel good. I feel like

118
00:07:29,319 --> 00:07:34,480
I have the energy to give. After enough people asking

119
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,639
me if I'm going to come back, I was like,

120
00:07:36,639 --> 00:07:39,199
you know what, Let's try this. Let's see how this goes.

121
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:42,000
And so I have plans. So what's the same and

122
00:07:42,079 --> 00:07:45,720
what's different. So by and large, I am the same

123
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:49,279
teacher I was a year and a half ago. I

124
00:07:49,279 --> 00:07:54,240
have the same teaching and grading philosophy. I'm still using

125
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,920
my own version of the modern classroom project model that

126
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,680
I raved about back then, and I still have really

127
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:06,560
found that it's helped me now, especially with keeping teaching sustainable.

128
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:11,680
I'm still deeply reflective and this has always been like

129
00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:16,439
part of myself and how I teach. I'm borderline critical, though,

130
00:08:17,399 --> 00:08:20,560
but always reflecting on what I'm doing in the classroom

131
00:08:20,839 --> 00:08:25,560
and whether it's effective. That's been the same. What has

132
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:28,600
changed is my willingness to be honest about how I feel.

133
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:34,960
And that's been actually something that I've struggled through most

134
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,879
of my life. I've always been a people pleaser. I've

135
00:08:37,879 --> 00:08:43,720
always been afraid of conflict. And through again self reflection therapy,

136
00:08:43,919 --> 00:08:48,039
which I definitely suggest if you can get some of that,

137
00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:52,080
I realize that I can actually speak how I feel

138
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:55,480
and if people don't agree, whether it's online or to

139
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:58,639
my face, it's okay. It doesn't mean that I'm a

140
00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:02,000
bad person. They don't think that I'm stupid, and maybe

141
00:09:02,039 --> 00:09:06,960
they do, but it's again, it's okay. That's definitely changed. Yeah,

142
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,879
I've talked for twenty four years now, and I've seen

143
00:09:09,919 --> 00:09:13,720
a lot. I've experienced a lot, and I've spent a

144
00:09:13,759 --> 00:09:19,399
long time observing, reflecting, and trying to make sense of

145
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:24,840
what works what doesn't and why. So I felt like, Okay,

146
00:09:24,919 --> 00:09:29,120
maybe before I didn't have anything to add, and at

147
00:09:29,159 --> 00:09:32,120
this point in my life, maybe I'll be repeating some

148
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:35,519
of the same stuff, but just from a wiser point

149
00:09:35,519 --> 00:09:39,320
of view or just with more information. So hopefully what

150
00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:43,120
I plan to release in future episodes will continue to

151
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:47,919
be helpful. So I want to intentionally weave something else

152
00:09:47,919 --> 00:09:51,639
into future episodes. And it's the fact that I still

153
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:56,480
enjoy teaching and that I've found ways to make it sustainable.

154
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,440
And there are a lot of teachers who are drowning

155
00:09:59,519 --> 00:10:05,000
right now, many are leaving the profession, and I get it,

156
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:08,200
like when I read and watch about the things that

157
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,480
they have to deal with. And maybe that's you, And

158
00:10:10,519 --> 00:10:13,440
that's one of the reasons why you've sought out this podcast.

159
00:10:13,759 --> 00:10:17,679
It pains me that these teachers have put so much

160
00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:20,759
of themselves, the time and the money and the energy

161
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:25,320
into becoming a teacher, and this is the reality that

162
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,279
they have to face on a daily basis. I just

163
00:10:28,399 --> 00:10:31,000
I want you to know that it isn't like that everywhere,

164
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:37,720
even in this intense moment, in this country, in this time.

165
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:41,120
I mean, I'm in the US and it's twenty twenty five.

166
00:10:41,279 --> 00:10:43,080
You know what I mean when I say how crazy

167
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:46,320
it is in this country. There are ways to teach

168
00:10:46,399 --> 00:10:51,320
that don't require constant self sacrifice. And I think in

169
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,840
order to survive this time and how education is changing

170
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:59,000
those of us who are veterans, if we want there

171
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:02,519
to continue to be public school, and if you want

172
00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:05,559
there two more people going into teaching, we're going to

173
00:11:05,639 --> 00:11:10,000
have to lend a helping hand and offer some hope

174
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,759
and some guidance. And so that's what I'm here for.

175
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,720
But I just wanted to give you all an update.

176
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,679
For those of you who have been following me and

177
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,399
who maybe we're just wondering what's going on. I need more.

178
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:26,360
I had some people tell me specifically there's more that

179
00:11:26,399 --> 00:11:28,840
I need to know that I want to know. I

180
00:11:28,879 --> 00:11:31,279
hope this episode wasn't too long. I know it was

181
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:34,399
just a catch up episode. I promised that everything after

182
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:37,759
this is going to be more geared towards actual teaching.

183
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,200
Thank you again, and I really appreciate it. Oh yeah,

184
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,080
if you have questions, you can email me Kim at

185
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:46,840
Teachersneed Teachers dot com. You can find me on Instagram,

186
00:11:46,879 --> 00:11:51,120
although my profile is private, so you'll have to message me,

187
00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:54,639
I'll see the message and then I'll let you follow me.

188
00:11:54,879 --> 00:11:56,919
Do you want to reach out through me through social media,

189
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,879
that's fine if you find me on TikTok, I don't know.

190
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,120
My tiktoks are about K pop and silly stuff, So

191
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,480
if you find me, you can follow me there, but

192
00:12:05,639 --> 00:12:08,480
it's not going to be very useful. I'm not really

193
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:12,840
into promoting myself. There's not a whole lot of helpful

194
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,600
stuff that you're going to find on social media. It's

195
00:12:15,639 --> 00:12:17,759
just going to be personal stuff. So if you do

196
00:12:17,799 --> 00:12:20,000
want to reach out to me, the easiest way is

197
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,679
just email me. Thank you again for listening, and I

198
00:12:23,799 --> 00:12:25,639
will see you in the next episode.