Speaker 1: Welcome to the Teachers Need Teachers Podcasts, the podcast for
teachers who don't want to just survive teaching but actually thrive.
I'm your host, Kim Laprie. If you're a long time listener,
you probably notice that it's been a while. It's been
about a year and a half since my last episode,
and I know that gap didn't go unnoticed. During that time.
I had a lot of people reach out, and I'm
really really grateful. It was about the podcast, about the
YouTube channel, and by the way, yes, it was always
the same content for both. I'm not sure if you're
aware of that. Some people thanked me and told me
how helpful the episodes were, and some asked if I
was going to start posting again if you even asked
about being guests, which I'll be honest not the biggest
fan of that format, but it doesn't mean that I'm
not possibly open to it in the future. Right now,
I sort of have an idea of how I want
the podcast has to go in a way that has
at least amount of friction for me. But I'm going
to go more into that. But the most common question, though,
really was when when are you coming back? And for
a long time, it really didn't have an answer. So
let me kind of go into this. And I know
this isn't usually the type of episode that people gravitate
towards when they're looking for helpful information on teaching, But
maybe you were in a similar situation to me and
you can relate, and this is how I dealt with it.
So let's start with, first of all, why I slipped away.
So I went back and forth about restarting the podcast
more times than I can count, and every time I
considered coming back, the same few things consistently stopped me. First,
I didn't feel like I had anything new to add,
which might seem silly, but I don't know. I feel
like I had already said everything and all of my
other episodes. So also, my teaching experience doesn't always look
like what we hear about the BOST online. I don't
have constant horror stories or daily chaos, and I was
worried that sharing my feelings might feel invalidating to others.
I didn't want to sound like I was minimizing anyone
else's experience, or worse, gaslighting people into thinking they were
doing something wrong because their classroom felt harder than mine.
Another reason I stepped away was that I was creating
content and the way that I was doing it it
just wasn't sustainable. I have very high standards for what
I put out into the world, and each episode literally
took hours, so it would be multiple takes, especially because
I would be looking into the camera, which is different
from now, but I would like be looking to the
camera and having to memorize lined by life, and then
I would have to like edit it and put in
like visuals and images, and at some point I even
paid someone to help with the video because I felt
like that level of professionalism in a video was what
people expected on YouTube. Just thinking about putting that level
of time, money, and energy back into it again just
created this visceral reaction in my body and I would
kind of panic when I was thinking about it, and
that was my signal that something wasn't great. So creating
content it also tapped into my own insecurities, to be honest,
like how I looked, whether my hair and makeup or
right the lighting the thumbnails. I mean, if you've ever
created anything publicly, especially on like social media or YouTube,
casually or not, you understand how much mental energy that takes.
And unless you your image is, you know, showing like
your true raw self all the time. A lot of
us are putting stuff out there in a way where
we want to look our best. We want to look
at what we're what we're putting out and feel good
about what we see. That takes a lot of energy,
and it takes a lot of vulnerability too, And that
was just something you know, for the past year and
a half that I just didn't have anymore, just couldn't
do it. And finally, you know, I only have so
much energy, and saying yes the podcast meant saying no
to time with myself and my family. So if you've
ever been in a situation like this, maybe you're also
a teacher who puts stuff on social media, then you understand.
So here's why I'm actually back Now. I'm in a
different place, like I'm generally in a really good place.
And over the past year and a half, I've been
working on myself, which I think is important for everyone,
both mentally and physically. I was diagnosed with ADHD, which
completely blindsided me at first, but then everything made sense.
Maybe someday I'll talk about that, especially for those of
you who are also neurodivergent teachers. It can affect in
so many ways how we do our jobs and how
hard it can be. But you know, apparently I coped
for the longest time until I didn't, which is also
one of the reasons why I went to get diagnosed
to see what was up. You might also notice some
differences and my cadence and the way that I talk.
I was in a car accident and I had a concussion.
It has affected my memory in some ways. It's affected
the flow in terms of how I speak. That coupled
with the ADHD, which I am managing so much better now,
but it is harder for me to collect my thoughts.
I find myself being having to pause a lot and
be really purposeful, and past me would spend so much
time trying to edit every single and pause because it's
probably annoying for you as the listener, to hear every
single pause. And I'll probably do some light editing on
this so that when I'm pausing to think, you're not
sitting there feeling awkward. One of the biggest shifts for
me has been also letting go of perfectionism and the
constant worry about what other people think. There's this quote
from Mel Robbins that really stuck with me. It's none
of my business what other people think about me. And
it's a mantra that I still have to remind myself
about because it does creep in the insecurities. But also,
I know that what I'm putting out is helpful for teachers,
and it's whether you agree with my teaching philosophies or
life philosophies. I'm just hoping that as long as I
can help a handful of people, then you know, it's
okay if some people think that I look weird, or
that I sound weird, or that what I'm saying doesn't
apply to them. So that was a really big driver
for me, is that I feel good. I feel like
I have the energy to give. After enough people asking
me if I'm going to come back, I was like,
you know what, Let's try this. Let's see how this goes.
And so I have plans. So what's the same and
what's different. So by and large, I am the same
teacher I was a year and a half ago. I
have the same teaching and grading philosophy. I'm still using
my own version of the modern classroom project model that
I raved about back then, and I still have really
found that it's helped me now, especially with keeping teaching sustainable.
I'm still deeply reflective and this has always been like
part of myself and how I teach. I'm borderline critical, though,
but always reflecting on what I'm doing in the classroom
and whether it's effective. That's been the same. What has
changed is my willingness to be honest about how I feel.
And that's been actually something that I've struggled through most
of my life. I've always been a people pleaser. I've
always been afraid of conflict. And through again self reflection therapy,
which I definitely suggest if you can get some of that,
I realize that I can actually speak how I feel
and if people don't agree, whether it's online or to
my face, it's okay. It doesn't mean that I'm a
bad person. They don't think that I'm stupid, and maybe
they do, but it's again, it's okay. That's definitely changed. Yeah,
I've talked for twenty four years now, and I've seen
a lot. I've experienced a lot, and I've spent a
long time observing, reflecting, and trying to make sense of
what works what doesn't and why. So I felt like, Okay,
maybe before I didn't have anything to add, and at
this point in my life, maybe I'll be repeating some
of the same stuff, but just from a wiser point
of view or just with more information. So hopefully what
I plan to release in future episodes will continue to
be helpful. So I want to intentionally weave something else
into future episodes. And it's the fact that I still
enjoy teaching and that I've found ways to make it sustainable.
And there are a lot of teachers who are drowning
right now, many are leaving the profession, and I get it,
like when I read and watch about the things that
they have to deal with. And maybe that's you, And
that's one of the reasons why you've sought out this podcast.
It pains me that these teachers have put so much
of themselves, the time and the money and the energy
into becoming a teacher, and this is the reality that
they have to face on a daily basis. I just
I want you to know that it isn't like that everywhere,
even in this intense moment, in this country, in this time.
I mean, I'm in the US and it's twenty twenty five.
You know what I mean when I say how crazy
it is in this country. There are ways to teach
that don't require constant self sacrifice. And I think in
order to survive this time and how education is changing
those of us who are veterans, if we want there
to continue to be public school, and if you want
there two more people going into teaching, we're going to
have to lend a helping hand and offer some hope
and some guidance. And so that's what I'm here for.
But I just wanted to give you all an update.
For those of you who have been following me and
who maybe we're just wondering what's going on. I need more.
I had some people tell me specifically there's more that
I need to know that I want to know. I
hope this episode wasn't too long. I know it was
just a catch up episode. I promised that everything after
this is going to be more geared towards actual teaching.
Thank you again, and I really appreciate it. Oh yeah,
if you have questions, you can email me Kim at
Teachersneed Teachers dot com. You can find me on Instagram,
although my profile is private, so you'll have to message me,
I'll see the message and then I'll let you follow me.
Do you want to reach out through me through social media,
that's fine if you find me on TikTok, I don't know.
My tiktoks are about K pop and silly stuff, So
if you find me, you can follow me there, but
it's not going to be very useful. I'm not really
into promoting myself. There's not a whole lot of helpful
stuff that you're going to find on social media. It's
just going to be personal stuff. So if you do
want to reach out to me, the easiest way is
just email me. Thank you again for listening, and I
will see you in the next episode.