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Speaker 1: Hospitals can be a scary place at times, unless you're Neil,

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who will do just about anything to get put in

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the hospital. Makes you wonder is hospital food really that good?

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Let's get into it. Hellol, story time is really not

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a boring time rab a standing You'll be fine.

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Speaker 2: Follow the whole storyline, Hellol story time, might you live

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at least one time?

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Speaker 3: All story time.

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Speaker 1: This is the story of some cheek benching nurses and

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a five dollars bill, but mostly it's about the time

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Neil found out his best friend was in the hospital.

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Neil had seen Yuri just yesterday and the dude had

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seemed totally fine. Uh, miss clocky talk, do you know

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where Yuri is today? He was supposed to bring me

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the five dollars he owes me. Before the teacher had

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a chance to answer, at least ten of Neil's classmates

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beat her to it.

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Speaker 2: He's in the hospital. He's in the hospital.

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Speaker 3: He's in the hospital.

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Speaker 2: He's in the hospital.

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Speaker 3: He's in the hospital. He's in the hospital.

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Speaker 1: The teacher threw up her hand. Class remember what we've

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talked about. After the first person has answered the question,

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there's no need for everyone else to say it.

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Speaker 2: Too. Sorry, Miss clocky talk, Sorry, miss clocky talk, Sorry

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miss clokey Talk, Sorry Bess clocky talk, thorry, Miss cloky talk.

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Speaker 1: Apart from being annoyed that he was the last one

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to find out about his own best friend, Neil was

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terribly worried about why Yuri, who had seemed totally fine

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the day before, was now in the hospital.

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Speaker 2: Eurie is in the hospital, he wailed.

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Speaker 1: The teacher defensively held up her hands in opposite directions

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like a crossing guard. She looks ready to tackle the

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first ten kids who dared answer.

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Speaker 2: Yes, what happened to him? My best friend? How bad

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is it? Does he have nosehares growing down to his chin?

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Did an earweg crawl into his ear? Do earwigs even

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do that? And what about his neck? Does he have

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a second head growing out of his neck? Tell me

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what's wrong with my buddy, My best buddy, My best

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is good.

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Speaker 3: The old pal.

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Speaker 1: The teacher's meths started to open, but again, close to

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ten people beat her to it.

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Speaker 2: He's getting his tonsils out. He's getting his tonsils out.

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Speaker 3: He's getting his tonsils out.

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Speaker 2: He's getting his tonsils out. He's turning his tonsils.

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Speaker 1: Out, miss Clokey talk snapped enef one person, remember one person.

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Neil was trying to assess if this was something serious

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or not. Tonsels, So what is that like a fancy

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medical term for nose here? Because honestly, when I saw

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him yesterday, he didn't even have any nose here that

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I could see. I thought you had to be a

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grown up before that became a problem. After the forty

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five minute scientific explanation that followed, Neil wished he had

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never asked, and he still had no clue whether this

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was serious or not. Neil headed straight to the hospital

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as soon as the bell rang. He hadn't intended to

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make a big scene bursting through the main doors, but

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he was deeply concerned for his friend and whatever these

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tonsils were that were apparently getting removed.

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Speaker 2: Yury, hurry, where are you, buddy? It's me, your boy, Neil.

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Speaker 3: I'm coming for you. Man.

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Speaker 1: The hospital lobby was a busy place, and practically all

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of the people in it were now staring at Neil.

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Someone at the helpdesk kindly offered to help Neil find

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which room his friend was in. Just outside of the

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door to the room where Yuri was staying, Neil paused

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briefly before entering. He wanted to brace himself for what

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he might see on the other side. He wasn't sure

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if he was about to walk in on some vicious

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nosehares darting toward him like snakes. Quietly, he crept into

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the room. For all he knew, Uri might not even

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be awake. Then what are you just supposed to sit

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on the chair and watch your friends sleep? Then when

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they wake up, use a creepy voice to say hello,

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I've been watching you. But Yury was not asleep when

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Neil came in. He was wide awake.

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Speaker 2: Oh, Yuri, thank goodness, you still have two arms, two

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legs and no visible nose here.

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Speaker 1: Yuri was overjoyed to have a visitor. Neil, I'm so

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happy you came. Neil had seen plenty of sick people before,

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but Uri did not look like any of those people.

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His friend looked fantastic.

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Speaker 2: Cool. You've got a TV in your room.

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Speaker 1: Eriy was in the middle of watching cartoons and you're

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eating ice cream. Neil had spotted the big bowl of

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ice cream resting on his friend's lap. Yery laughed at

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something on the TV and then turned back to Neil. Yeah,

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after you get your tonsils out, they let you have

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as much ice cream as you want. None of what

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Neil was hearing or seeing right now matched the image

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in his mind of what he believed hospitals to be like.

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But just before accusing his friend of being full of baloney,

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a nurse walked into the room with a fresh bowl

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of ice cream. Ery, you've got a visitor, Isn't that nice?

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She then pinched his cheek before replacing his empty bowl

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of ice cream with a new one. You were doing

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such a great job following the doctor's orders, staying in bed,

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resting and watching TV and eating lots of ice cream.

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Speaker 2: Such a good little boy.

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Speaker 1: Seconds after the first nurse left, another nurse came in,

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who also pinched his cheeks and spoke to him like

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he was a puppy dog.

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Speaker 3: Eerie, I am bringing you a fresh warm blanket.

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Speaker 2: Yes I am, Yes, I am a fresh warm blanket

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for Yuri.

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Speaker 1: Then a third nurse followed immediately after this one, Neil

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figured this one was arriving with that disgusting hospital food

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he'd always heard people complain about, Yuri.

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Speaker 2: Just in case you're getting tired of ice cream, I

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brought you a chocolate milkshake. Okay, little guy, Okay, you

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were being such a fantastic patient. You know that.

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Speaker 1: Yuri received another pinch on the cheek before the nurse

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left the room.

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Speaker 2: Sweet little Yerie.

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Speaker 1: She said, waving from the doorway. Yuri was already giggling

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about something else on TV. So let me get this straight,

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said Neil, taking a seat on the edge of Uriy's

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hospital bed. Your nose hair situation is perfectly under control.

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There's no second head growing out of your neck, and

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no one seems worried that an earwake may have crawled

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into your ear. This was the first time Yuri had

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stopped to wonder if that was actually a thing earwigs

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even did. Dude, what are you talking about? I just

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had my tonsils removed? Didn't anyone tell you that? Neil

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explained that at least ten people had told him that, Look, Eri,

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I think I get it now. Tonsils must be some

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kind of code word for when you're going into hiding,

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like when you don't have the five dollars you owe

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someone and need the perfect excuse to buy yourself more time.

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Is that what this is? Yury was wondering if you

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should have the doctor swing by to have his friend's

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head checked.

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Speaker 2: What are you.

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Speaker 1: Talking about, Neil? Neil looked at his friend with suspicion. Oh,

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so when they removed your tonsils, they also removed your

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memory of the time you borrowed five dollars to buy

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a popcorn at the movie theater. Huh, the five dollars

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you said you were going to pay me back this morning.

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Yery had not forgotten about the five dollars he had borrowed,

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and he told Neil he had the money at home.

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Then what's the deal with all the ice cream and

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everyone being so nice when you don't even look sick?

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Speaker 3: Now?

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Speaker 1: Yuri was looking at Neil with suspicion in his eyes.

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Speaker 2: Neil, you don't know what tomils are, do you.

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Speaker 1: Even though the teacher had taken forty five minutes to

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talk about tonsils, Neil could confidently say he still had

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no idea what tonsils were. Sounded like there was some

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kind of thing found at the back of your throat,

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which could be an easy thing to make up if

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one really wanted. People's throats can feel a little sore

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after they get their tonsils out. Urry explained, the ice cream.

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Speaker 2: Helps with that.

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Speaker 1: And the doctor wants me to rest, so until they

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say I can go home, I'm just supposed to stay

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in bed and watch TV. Neil never would have imagined

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he'd be feeling jealous of someone in the hospital. Do

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you think I should get my tonsils removed, Eurie? I

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like watching TV and eating ice cream. I'd even let

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the nurses pinch my cheeks and bring me warm blankets.

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Arry laughed, like his friend was one of the goofy

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cartoon characters he was watching on TV.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't work like that, dude.

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Speaker 1: Besides, it's not like I want to be here. No

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one likes staying at the hospital. I'd much rather be

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in my own bed at home than going to school tomorrow.

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That was another thing Neil had forgot to consider being

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in the hospital mean having a break from school. So

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that night, Neil asked his parents if they could sign

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him up to have his tonsils removed, even though he

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still didn't quite understand what tonsils were for in the

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first place. It wasn't like tonsils could be that important

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if lots of people were having them removed every day,

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and if Yury didn't need to have his tonsils anymore,

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then Neil didn't want to have his either one last

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thing weighing him down and slowing him from becoming the

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fastest kid in class.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't work like that, Neil.

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Speaker 1: His parents had told him, they won't remove your tonsils

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if you don't need to have them removed. Neil wasn't

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sure what needed to happen so his tonsils would need

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to be removed, but he was willing to take the

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necessary steps. He made a note to ask Gery about

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it in the morning, but in the morning, Yuri still

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wasn't back at school. Neil had to wait until the

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end of the day before he could make another visit

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to the hospital. This time, when he got there, Uri

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had been moved to a different room. He no longer

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had a private room all to himself. This new room

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was a shared room with two beds, but since no

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other patients were using the second bed yet, it still

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felt like Yury had his own room only now twice

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as big.

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Speaker 2: Dude, you're still here. You look like you would have

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been fine to go.

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Speaker 1: Home yesterday, Ery shrugged. Yeah, I feel totally fine, but

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they suggested I stay another day. Maybe they hadn't gotten

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their fill of cheek pinching yet. Yary's cheeks did look

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quite rosy from all the pinching. They got even rosier

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a moment later, when another nurse popped in to bring

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Uri more ice cream. Neil was eyeing the empty bed

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that was next to his friends. You know, Yery, we

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might get to be roommates pretty soon. I thought maybe

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I could have my tonsils taken out as well. I

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just need you to tell me what to do, Like,

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how did you turn your tonsils into the kind of

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tonsils doctors want to get rid of. Ery wasn't even

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sure where to start with this. Maybe his friend really

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did need to have his head checked. Neil, are you

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doing this because you're trying to keep an eye on

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me because you think I'm avoiding giving you your five

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bucks back? I'm telling you, man, I have the five

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dollars at home, and I'll get it to you as

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soon as they let me out of here. Neil was

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already making himself comfortable on the second bed. He had

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even grabbed the television remote and changed the channel right

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in the middle of the show Yuri had been watching.

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It's not because of that, he insisted, it's because of this.

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Neil gestured around the room unlimited TV, in ice cream,

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no school, and nurses that do everything for you. I

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want that too, man, and now there's a chance for

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me to have all that while getting to hang out

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with my best friend. Ury had never heard of someone

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wanting to be put in a hospital. Maybe you really

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should get your head checked, Neil, because I myself can't

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wait to get out of here. I miss my own bed,

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and I miss everyone at school. And I never thought

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i'd say this, but I think I'm getting sick of

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eating ice cream. Even watching TV is starting to get boring.

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Neil had barely caught any of what his friend had

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just said. He was busy laughing at the TV after

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seeing Wiley Coyote have an anvil dropped on his head.

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A few minutes later, Yuri's doctor dropped in to see

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how he was doing. Oh, I didn't realize we already

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had another patient.

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Speaker 2: In this room.

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Speaker 1: The doctor was looking at Neil. Neil waved the doctor over,

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holding his mouth wide open.

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Speaker 2: What do you think of these tonsils? Doc?

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Speaker 3: Uh?

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Speaker 1: Good news? Your tonsils look a okay? That's not good news, Doc,

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that's not good news at all. Shouldn't we maybe take

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them out? Just in case? I thought I felt something earlier.

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It felt like the exact feeling right before your tonsils

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start turning bad. The doctor had already gone over to

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talk to Uri, but Neil kept trying, what about this

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bruise on my knee, Doc, Doesn't it look a little

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too bruisy? What if it's turning into bruisy ititis?

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Speaker 2: Or did you see this?

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Speaker 1: Does this not look like a second head starting to

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grow it on my neck? I know it may look

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like just a freckle now, but that's usually how these.

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Speaker 2: Types of things start out.

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Speaker 1: No matter what Neil came up with, the doctor didn't

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seem to think any of his problems were worth staying

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over at the hospital. Walking home later, Neil still wasn't

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ready to give up. He may not have had a

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good reason to be in the hospital, but that didn't

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mean he couldn't give himself a good reason. While passing

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a baseball diamond where grew if young kids were playing

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t ball, Neil interrupted the game to ask one of

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the kids a favor.

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Speaker 2: Hey, you with the bet, could you maybe just for

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a minute, pretend that my knee is the ball. Just

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really make sure you lay into the bone. Okay?

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Speaker 1: The young child refused to swing his baseball. About it,

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Neil's knee. It's all right, I want you to do it.

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I need a broken bone or the hospital won't let

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me stay there. The child began carefully backing away from Neil.

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Speaker 2: You need to get your head checked, dude.

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Speaker 1: Neil didn't bother to mention that this wasn't the first

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time someone had told him that. Wait, kid, that's actually

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not a bad idea. I should just have a doctor

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check out my head, because asking some random kid to

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break one of your bones probably isn't a normal thing

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to do. Something has to be wrong with me, genius.

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Neil bent down to the child's eye level. Looks like

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I might get to stay at a hospital after all.

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Isn't this wonderful? The young child just wanted to go

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back to playing t ball with his friends.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, congratulations, I sleep in a race car bed.

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Speaker 1: Neil skipped all the way back to the hospital, where

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he immediately searched for the doctor.

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Speaker 2: Neil, you're back.

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Speaker 1: I hope everything is okay. Neil was grinning from ear

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to ear.

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Speaker 2: Everything is not okay, doc, isn't that awesome? Things are

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not okay. I might just ask some kid if they

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could break one of my bones. Who does that?

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Speaker 1: Someone who needs their head check, that's who. The doctor

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pulled out some kind of head checking device and used

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it to examine Neil's head by looking through his ear.

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He then quickly jumped back, almost dropping his special tool.

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Oh dear, we need to get you into one of

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our hospital beds straight away. Neil did a massive fist

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pump and then told the doctor he'd be fine to

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see himself to his room. He continued skipping down the

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hallway whistling a happy little tune. Oh, yerie, guess who's

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about to become your new roommate. Neil had to check

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if he had walked into the wrong room. The nurse

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was changing the sheets on his friend's bed.

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Speaker 2: Hey, where did ury go? Is he on the can?

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Speaker 1: The nurse explained that YEARI had just been sent home.

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Oh no, poor guy, they're gonna send them back to

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school tomorrow, and now he's gonna miss all the fun

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at the hospital with me. Neil dove onto his bed

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like it was a swimming pool. Hey, nurse, can you

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pass me the remote for the TV? The nurse handed

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him the remote and then left the room.

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Speaker 2: I think you forgot the cheek pinch. I have soft,

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pinchable cheeks too.

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Speaker 1: Another nurse came by a few minutes later.

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Speaker 2: My name is Bruce. I'll be looking after you tonight.

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Speaker 1: Bruce looked like he was ten nurses in one. He

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was tall and looked like his nickname could be Muscles McGhee.

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If someone told Neil that it was Bruce's second job

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to crush old cars at the car Wreckers, he would

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have believed them. This guy had so much muscle his

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legs and arms looked.

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Speaker 2: Like tree trunks.

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Speaker 1: Nice to meet you, said Neil in a squeaky little voice.

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You don't have to pinch my cheeks if you don't

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want to. Neil didn't need to have his cheeks popping

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like balloons. I won't pinch your cheeks if you don't

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want him pinched.

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Speaker 2: Are you hungry?

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Speaker 1: Neeled it up. Finally, this is what he had been

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waiting for. So if you have any strawberry ice cream,

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I'll start with that, But if you don't, I also

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like butterscotch, ripple min, chocolate chip, and really anything that

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doesn't have nuts. Bruce handed Neil a bowl of something

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that did not look like any flavor of ice cream

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he'd ever seen. This is hospital mush, explained Bruce, ice

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cream is just for the Tonsil kids.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what they put in this mush, but

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only one out of every ninety five kids seems to

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like it. Good luck.

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Speaker 1: Neil set the bowl aside as soon as Bruce had left.

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At least I've still got TV. Only the batteries on

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the remote were no longer working and he wasn't able

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to change the channel. But I don't want to watch

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the shopping channel. I don't care how many easy payments

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I can make to buy those hideous looking candles. Neil

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tried calling for help, hoping one of the cheek pinching

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nurses might come this time, but once again it was Bruce. Bruce,

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the TV remote isn't working. I can't change the channel.

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Speaker 2: Do you have any batteries? No, I don't, but you

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should try. Am I getting some sleep.

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Speaker 1: Before pressing the power button on the actual tv 'edit,

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Bruce paused.

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Speaker 2: Huh, that was a really great deal on candles. I

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might have to order some for myself.

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Speaker 1: Neil wasn't sure what time it was, but it definitely

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didn't feel anywhere close to bedtime. He ended up taking

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four or five hours to finally fall asleep. The noises

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from all the various machines didn't help either. Nurse, can

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someone turn off all those beeping sounds? And is there

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anything we can do about all the blinking lights? In

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the morning, Bruce brought Neil a fresh bowl of hospital

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mush if you could even call it fresh. You know, Bruce,

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I'm not actually all that hungry. Neil looked around the room,

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wondering what he could get up to that day. Real shame,

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00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:47,039
I can't be at school today, ain't Nurse Bruce just kidding.

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I'm actually excited to relax in bed with some comic books. Actually, kid,

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I'm only your nurse at nighttime. During the day, I'll

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be your own personal teacher. Bruce pulled out some learning

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materials and promptly began asking Neil some questions.

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Speaker 2: What's four plus four?

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Speaker 1: Bruce did an excellent job of making it feel like

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a regular day of school, just without any of the

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fun parts like gym class and recess. By the end

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of the day, Neil was begging to see the doctor. Neil,

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I hear you got to do some learning today. How

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did that go? Neil didn't want to talk about that. Fine, fine, fine, fine, but.

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Speaker 2: Toc can I ask you how long does someone in

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my condition usually need to stay in the hospital for?

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00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:31,400
Speaker 1: The doctor blew out's the mare? Well, now it all depends.

380
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Could be days, weeks, maybe even months. Neil was not

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happy that the doctor had not listed seconds or minutes

382
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,240
as any of the options. A doctor leaned in closer

383
00:17:41,279 --> 00:17:44,720
and suddenly became all secretive. It really comes down to

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how much time you need. If you already have it,

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you could leave right now. Neil wasn't following. If I

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00:17:51,799 --> 00:17:54,119
have what, doc, what do we need? Tell me what

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I need and I'll make it happen. The doctor thought

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it should have been obvious.

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Speaker 2: But five dollars, you will your friend. Isn't that why

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00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,519
you're here? Why else would a kid want to stay

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00:18:03,519 --> 00:18:06,359
at a hospital so badly when they're perfectly healthy? Aren't

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you here because you need a good excuse as to

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why you can't pay your friend back?

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Speaker 3: Just yet?

395
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Speaker 1: Was that not what this was all about? I thought

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it was doing you a favor. Neil didn't have the

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heart to admit that he was mostly just here for

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the unlimited ice cream. He was also worried that the

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truth might make the doctor really want to check.

400
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:22,480
Speaker 2: His head out.

401
00:18:23,559 --> 00:18:26,680
Speaker 1: Yes, Doctor, I've got the money to pay my friend,

402
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:29,599
so I guess I'll just be on my way. Then,

403
00:18:30,039 --> 00:18:31,440
please say good bye to Bruce for me.

404
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:33,920
Speaker 2: Not so fast.

405
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Speaker 1: Let me see that you've actually got the five dollars.

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Neil wasn't sure how he was going to get himself

407
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,839
out of this one, but just then a familiar face

408
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popped in through the door. Yury had come to visit

409
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him after the school they had ended. The timing couldn't

410
00:18:48,519 --> 00:18:50,920
have been better. As long as Yuri had remembered to

411
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,079
bring him his five dollars bill, maybe he could make

412
00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:54,519
it look like that was the money he was going

413
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to use to pay someone else back with Oh, Yuri,

414
00:18:57,799 --> 00:19:00,119
I am so glad you're here, and not just that's

415
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,799
because I need my five bucks back, but also where's

416
00:19:02,839 --> 00:19:06,480
my five bucks? Yuri was shaking the TV remote trying

417
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:07,839
to figure out why it wasn't working.

418
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Speaker 2: Neil, so about.

419
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Speaker 1: That I kind of spent your five dollars just before

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coming over here.

421
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,640
Speaker 2: There was just such a good deal in candles.

422
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,920
Speaker 1: The doctor began pulling out his head checking device, the

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real one this time. Doc, if you're gonna make me

424
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stay here another night? Can you at least please remove

425
00:19:25,759 --> 00:19:26,319
my tonsils?

426
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Speaker 2: First?

427
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:30,039
Speaker 1: I need some ice cream and I need it bad.

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Speaker 2: The end.

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Speaker 1: That's the story, and here is your question of the week.

430
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,680
How are you spending that five bucks after your friend

431
00:19:44,759 --> 00:19:48,920
pays you back ice cream? Thanks to Neil and Urie

432
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:53,279
and showed out to Brooklyn Hufford from Fowler, Michigan, Graham,

433
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:57,000
Maggie and their dog Spruce from Golden Colorado, Max from

434
00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:01,519
New York, Stevie from New South Wales, Australia, Isla from Patchak,

435
00:20:01,599 --> 00:20:05,880
New York, Sebastian and Sara Fina from Columbus, Ohio, Stella

436
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:09,519
Amos and Jones from Nanaimo, BC Rex from the UK,

437
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,559
Rock One Roland aka rock and Roll from Lutes, Florida,

438
00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:18,039
and Rishon from New Zealand. More to come next time,

439
00:20:18,279 --> 00:20:21,440
but until then, thanks for listening and I'll catch you

440
00:20:22,519 --> 00:20:23,240
on the next one.