WEBVTT

1
00:00:01.080 --> 00:00:02.319
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Hacking Your Leadership.

2
00:00:02.359 --> 00:00:05.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm Chris and I'm Lorenzo, and Lorenzo on this episode,

3
00:00:05.160 --> 00:00:06.879
<v Speaker 2>I want to talk about something that happened to me.

4
00:00:07.360 --> 00:00:10.160
<v Speaker 2>I was in a meeting room with about fifteen or

5
00:00:10.160 --> 00:00:13.359
<v Speaker 2>twenty people and we were going over strategy on something

6
00:00:13.919 --> 00:00:17.719
<v Speaker 2>and the person running the meeting, one of two people

7
00:00:17.800 --> 00:00:20.559
<v Speaker 2>running the meeting, is a person that I've known for

8
00:00:20.600 --> 00:00:25.760
<v Speaker 2>a while, and this person tends to interrupt everyone.

9
00:00:26.640 --> 00:00:30.280
<v Speaker 1>And it's it's difficult.

10
00:00:29.800 --> 00:00:34.600
<v Speaker 2>Because they don't interrupt it to say, you know, shut up.

11
00:00:34.479 --> 00:00:37.159
<v Speaker 1>You're wrong, or that's ridiculous, be quiet.

12
00:00:37.240 --> 00:00:42.320
<v Speaker 2>It's it's not an interruption from a standpoint of you're wrong,

13
00:00:42.920 --> 00:00:43.799
<v Speaker 2>stop talking.

14
00:00:44.159 --> 00:00:45.479
<v Speaker 1>My point of view is better.

15
00:00:45.960 --> 00:00:51.399
<v Speaker 2>It's almost almost a shared excitement in some cases, or

16
00:00:51.560 --> 00:00:55.560
<v Speaker 2>a reaction to half the story because they're trying to engage.

17
00:00:55.600 --> 00:00:57.560
<v Speaker 1>It's. The point is it doesn't seem.

18
00:00:57.320 --> 00:01:01.759
<v Speaker 2>Malicious, but it was clear and it has been clear

19
00:01:02.119 --> 00:01:05.359
<v Speaker 2>that when it happens to somebody in the room, myself included,

20
00:01:05.920 --> 00:01:09.959
<v Speaker 2>it feels wrong. It feels like, it feels disrespectful. It

21
00:01:09.959 --> 00:01:12.200
<v Speaker 2>feels like I like I haven't been able to say

22
00:01:12.239 --> 00:01:14.079
<v Speaker 2>what I need to say, and I could see eye

23
00:01:14.159 --> 00:01:16.159
<v Speaker 2>rolls coming from other people in the room when that

24
00:01:16.319 --> 00:01:19.120
<v Speaker 2>when that would happen, And it got me thinking about,

25
00:01:19.400 --> 00:01:22.680
<v Speaker 2>you know, how how has this happened for so long?

26
00:01:23.079 --> 00:01:25.159
<v Speaker 2>Because it's it's happened with other people that I've seen

27
00:01:25.200 --> 00:01:28.519
<v Speaker 2>over the course of months, and and you know it

28
00:01:28.760 --> 00:01:32.120
<v Speaker 2>either no one said anything or or they have said it,

29
00:01:32.159 --> 00:01:34.879
<v Speaker 2>and it's falling on deaf ears. And I guess the

30
00:01:34.879 --> 00:01:36.439
<v Speaker 2>point I'm trying to say is what we need to

31
00:01:36.480 --> 00:01:40.040
<v Speaker 2>talk about here is is how to handle this or

32
00:01:40.079 --> 00:01:41.959
<v Speaker 2>whether or not it should be handled, and when it

33
00:01:42.079 --> 00:01:45.079
<v Speaker 2>is handled how and if it's if if it's bothering you,

34
00:01:45.239 --> 00:01:46.920
<v Speaker 2>is it doesn't need to be handled or is this

35
00:01:46.959 --> 00:01:48.920
<v Speaker 2>something you just kind of like chalk it up to

36
00:01:49.640 --> 00:01:51.920
<v Speaker 2>everybody's different you you walk away or how do you?

37
00:01:51.920 --> 00:01:52.480
<v Speaker 1>How do you do this?

38
00:01:52.760 --> 00:01:54.640
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Well, I think first of all, it's a it's

39
00:01:54.680 --> 00:01:55.359
<v Speaker 3>a great example.

40
00:01:55.400 --> 00:01:58.879
<v Speaker 4>I think there's a lot of things that in conversations

41
00:01:59.640 --> 00:02:02.519
<v Speaker 4>I I kind of chalk it up to like self awareness.

42
00:02:02.560 --> 00:02:05.280
<v Speaker 4>There's like a lot of habits that people have interrupting

43
00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:08.199
<v Speaker 4>kind of being one of them. Because again, even though

44
00:02:09.120 --> 00:02:11.960
<v Speaker 4>even though it might act to move, you know, it

45
00:02:12.039 --> 00:02:14.960
<v Speaker 4>might work in a way that moves the conversation forward

46
00:02:15.240 --> 00:02:18.719
<v Speaker 4>or faster, or there's excitement. I get that a lot,

47
00:02:18.800 --> 00:02:21.759
<v Speaker 4>like there's excitement and dialogue or healthy debate and somebody

48
00:02:21.879 --> 00:02:25.719
<v Speaker 4>you know interrupts quite often. But if you don't, if

49
00:02:25.759 --> 00:02:27.960
<v Speaker 4>you're not conscious of it, and if you're not you know,

50
00:02:28.159 --> 00:02:31.000
<v Speaker 4>thinking about it, and if nobody's giving you that feedback,

51
00:02:31.039 --> 00:02:33.319
<v Speaker 4>like that's really the hardest part there is if nobody's

52
00:02:33.360 --> 00:02:35.840
<v Speaker 4>talked to you or pulled you aside and mentioned it.

53
00:02:35.840 --> 00:02:37.599
<v Speaker 4>It's hard to work on if you don't see it,

54
00:02:37.719 --> 00:02:41.280
<v Speaker 4>especially because and what I've seen in having you know,

55
00:02:42.120 --> 00:02:45.400
<v Speaker 4>family members all over the country and relationships with parents

56
00:02:45.439 --> 00:02:46.800
<v Speaker 4>and things like that, like this is one of the

57
00:02:46.800 --> 00:02:50.080
<v Speaker 4>things that's it's it's typically in somebody's personality, like they

58
00:02:50.080 --> 00:02:53.759
<v Speaker 4>are this person at home and at work. It's not

59
00:02:53.800 --> 00:02:55.479
<v Speaker 4>like they just turn it on for work and now

60
00:02:55.479 --> 00:02:57.960
<v Speaker 4>they start interrupting everybody. But you know, to to to

61
00:02:58.360 --> 00:03:01.759
<v Speaker 4>address that type of disrespect, I think step one is

62
00:03:01.800 --> 00:03:05.120
<v Speaker 4>having that conversation and pulling somebody inside and saying, hey,

63
00:03:05.159 --> 00:03:06.719
<v Speaker 4>I want to talk a little bit about you know

64
00:03:06.759 --> 00:03:08.879
<v Speaker 4>what just happened to the media or are you conscious

65
00:03:08.919 --> 00:03:11.360
<v Speaker 4>of this or have you been given this feedback before?

66
00:03:12.240 --> 00:03:15.080
<v Speaker 4>But especially in a space where you may be trying

67
00:03:15.120 --> 00:03:19.599
<v Speaker 4>to you know, collect ideas or thoughts or even pushback.

68
00:03:20.159 --> 00:03:22.400
<v Speaker 4>I think it's important to first have that conversation with someone.

69
00:03:22.479 --> 00:03:23.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think you're right with that.

70
00:03:24.479 --> 00:03:31.199
<v Speaker 2>I think about the times when I have withheld feedback

71
00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:36.439
<v Speaker 2>on something like this where I could have given feedback

72
00:03:36.479 --> 00:03:41.680
<v Speaker 2>on this and chose not to, versus times when I

73
00:03:41.719 --> 00:03:44.800
<v Speaker 2>could give feedback and I chose to give it. And

74
00:03:44.840 --> 00:03:47.960
<v Speaker 2>I think what it comes down to is is this

75
00:03:49.280 --> 00:03:52.360
<v Speaker 2>I think I think I try to judge or assess

76
00:03:53.240 --> 00:03:58.159
<v Speaker 2>the intent of the person who's doing the interrupting, and.

77
00:03:59.560 --> 00:04:01.479
<v Speaker 1>If in my mind it's.

78
00:04:01.319 --> 00:04:04.479
<v Speaker 2>From the standpoint of you know, excitement and engagement and

79
00:04:04.599 --> 00:04:10.240
<v Speaker 2>lack of self awareness, then what happens is like if

80
00:04:10.319 --> 00:04:14.520
<v Speaker 2>if I was given feedback on something and it was

81
00:04:15.240 --> 00:04:17.399
<v Speaker 2>and the thing that I was doing was rooted in

82
00:04:17.439 --> 00:04:22.240
<v Speaker 2>a lack of self awareness, my reaction would be like

83
00:04:22.319 --> 00:04:25.199
<v Speaker 2>I would instantly start going through all the interactions that

84
00:04:25.199 --> 00:04:27.759
<v Speaker 2>I've had with people over the last however many, you know,

85
00:04:27.879 --> 00:04:31.879
<v Speaker 2>months or whatever, and from a standpoint of, oh my god,

86
00:04:31.959 --> 00:04:33.920
<v Speaker 2>I did like what how did.

87
00:04:33.839 --> 00:04:35.519
<v Speaker 1>I do this to other people? What did I do?

88
00:04:35.639 --> 00:04:40.079
<v Speaker 1>Like just from a from a wanting to preserve the relationship.

89
00:04:39.560 --> 00:04:43.079
<v Speaker 2>Standpoint, like not a defensive like you know, get out

90
00:04:43.079 --> 00:04:45.959
<v Speaker 2>of my face standpoint, but just like a genuine like,

91
00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:48.639
<v Speaker 2>oh my gosh, I care about these relationships. I hope

92
00:04:48.639 --> 00:04:52.439
<v Speaker 2>I haven't hurt them, and wanting to make them better.

93
00:04:52.879 --> 00:04:54.680
<v Speaker 2>And I think I try to put myself in the

94
00:04:54.720 --> 00:04:58.959
<v Speaker 2>shoes of another person before I give that feedback and think,

95
00:04:59.600 --> 00:05:01.959
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to make them feel bad for something

96
00:05:02.279 --> 00:05:04.600
<v Speaker 2>that they didn't do out of malice.

97
00:05:04.399 --> 00:05:06.600
<v Speaker 1>I I but but I'm doing.

98
00:05:06.480 --> 00:05:09.040
<v Speaker 2>Them a disservice in the long term if I don't,

99
00:05:09.399 --> 00:05:13.360
<v Speaker 2>because if they're more likely to react positively and to

100
00:05:13.560 --> 00:05:16.040
<v Speaker 2>make the changes hearing the feedback from somebody to have

101
00:05:16.120 --> 00:05:19.199
<v Speaker 2>a really positive relationship with versus someone who just like

102
00:05:19.519 --> 00:05:21.639
<v Speaker 2>met them for the first time, they do their whole

103
00:05:21.680 --> 00:05:24.240
<v Speaker 2>interrupting thing. After the meeting, that person goes up and says, hey,

104
00:05:24.240 --> 00:05:24.959
<v Speaker 2>that was really rude.

105
00:05:24.959 --> 00:05:28.000
<v Speaker 1>Stop it. You know that's that's a harsher way to

106
00:05:28.040 --> 00:05:28.360
<v Speaker 1>hear it.

107
00:05:28.720 --> 00:05:30.959
<v Speaker 2>And then if that, if that, if that person has

108
00:05:31.000 --> 00:05:34.240
<v Speaker 2>never heard that feedback from anybody before, that could that

109
00:05:34.279 --> 00:05:37.000
<v Speaker 2>could hit Like the longer you go without getting feedback,

110
00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:39.000
<v Speaker 2>the harder it hits. And so I think, you know,

111
00:05:39.079 --> 00:05:40.519
<v Speaker 2>if you if you like a person, if you have

112
00:05:40.519 --> 00:05:44.720
<v Speaker 2>a relationship with somebody, you almost have a responsibility to

113
00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:47.360
<v Speaker 2>to at least you know, set the seeds and you know,

114
00:05:47.560 --> 00:05:50.319
<v Speaker 2>you know, set the wheels in motion of giving that

115
00:05:50.360 --> 00:05:52.399
<v Speaker 2>feedback so that they can, you know, take the steps

116
00:05:52.639 --> 00:05:54.480
<v Speaker 2>if they choose to, because it ultimately's on them to

117
00:05:54.480 --> 00:05:58.000
<v Speaker 2>make the changes. But but if you consider yourself a colleague,

118
00:05:58.959 --> 00:06:01.199
<v Speaker 2>I think there's going to be some personal responsibility to

119
00:06:01.319 --> 00:06:02.519
<v Speaker 2>start that feedback process.

120
00:06:02.600 --> 00:06:04.160
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, And I want to be clear too, I think

121
00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:07.600
<v Speaker 4>sometimes interrupting is a good thing and you have to

122
00:06:07.639 --> 00:06:13.079
<v Speaker 4>do it. And whether it's redirecting a conversation or you know,

123
00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:17.120
<v Speaker 4>stopping something from you know, builing it over, or if

124
00:06:17.120 --> 00:06:20.240
<v Speaker 4>somebody is sharing information that's that's not correct, you know,

125
00:06:20.360 --> 00:06:22.360
<v Speaker 4>like like to not allow it to just live and

126
00:06:22.639 --> 00:06:23.199
<v Speaker 4>have people here.

127
00:06:23.360 --> 00:06:25.120
<v Speaker 3>Like I I know that I use.

128
00:06:25.040 --> 00:06:28.399
<v Speaker 4>Interruption as a tool, and I think it's definitely should

129
00:06:28.399 --> 00:06:31.399
<v Speaker 4>be applied when needed. But I think to your point,

130
00:06:32.639 --> 00:06:35.879
<v Speaker 4>if it's something that is always happening, if it's something

131
00:06:35.959 --> 00:06:40.720
<v Speaker 4>that's just a part of somebody's personality, you know, talking

132
00:06:41.319 --> 00:06:44.720
<v Speaker 4>talking to them about it, whether it's a pure relationship

133
00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:47.240
<v Speaker 4>or reporting relationship, I think both of them it's a

134
00:06:47.360 --> 00:06:49.639
<v Speaker 4>very important thing to bring up and to share and

135
00:06:49.680 --> 00:06:52.079
<v Speaker 4>to showcase if you have true intention to help somebody

136
00:06:52.079 --> 00:06:54.519
<v Speaker 4>get better. But I think the to me, the larger

137
00:06:54.560 --> 00:06:56.720
<v Speaker 4>piece of it is kind of like as you were

138
00:06:56.759 --> 00:07:00.800
<v Speaker 4>talking through examples and stuff like and the reason why

139
00:07:00.839 --> 00:07:05.600
<v Speaker 4>we allow it. I think sometimes we allow it because

140
00:07:06.079 --> 00:07:11.360
<v Speaker 4>there's an element of authority potentially or almost like admiration.

141
00:07:11.720 --> 00:07:14.959
<v Speaker 4>Like I think some people that a lot of people

142
00:07:15.000 --> 00:07:16.959
<v Speaker 4>look up to, that a lot of people make would

143
00:07:16.959 --> 00:07:18.879
<v Speaker 4>be considered like a you know, a great leader or

144
00:07:18.920 --> 00:07:23.959
<v Speaker 4>a mentor somebody that typically always has really good insight

145
00:07:24.199 --> 00:07:27.920
<v Speaker 4>or perspective or that's like we almost allow it, and

146
00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:31.240
<v Speaker 4>to a degree sometimes expect it from leaders that are

147
00:07:31.240 --> 00:07:33.879
<v Speaker 4>in that space because we really want to get to

148
00:07:33.879 --> 00:07:36.160
<v Speaker 4>what their thoughts are. Anyway, So if they interrupt me,

149
00:07:37.000 --> 00:07:38.720
<v Speaker 4>I'm good with that because I'm trying to get them

150
00:07:38.759 --> 00:07:40.800
<v Speaker 4>to share with me what that might look like in

151
00:07:40.879 --> 00:07:42.759
<v Speaker 4>the future. But doesn't necessarily take away the fact that

152
00:07:42.800 --> 00:07:47.519
<v Speaker 4>it could be a very disrespectful thing to some And culturally,

153
00:07:48.279 --> 00:07:50.639
<v Speaker 4>another piece of that is some people like it is

154
00:07:50.720 --> 00:07:53.279
<v Speaker 4>a it's both sides here.

155
00:07:53.319 --> 00:07:56.199
<v Speaker 3>There are a lot of cultures where you know.

156
00:07:57.000 --> 00:08:02.399
<v Speaker 4>Talking interrupting engaging in conversation that way is very accepted

157
00:08:02.439 --> 00:08:04.439
<v Speaker 4>and kind of expected, and if you don't do it,

158
00:08:04.639 --> 00:08:06.639
<v Speaker 4>you never get a word in. And then there are

159
00:08:06.639 --> 00:08:10.360
<v Speaker 4>other cultures, you know, in backgrounds of people that as

160
00:08:10.399 --> 00:08:12.040
<v Speaker 4>soon as you do it once they just stop talking

161
00:08:12.120 --> 00:08:15.439
<v Speaker 4>because like you would never disrespect an elder, or you

162
00:08:15.480 --> 00:08:17.480
<v Speaker 4>would never create conflict at work.

163
00:08:17.279 --> 00:08:18.079
<v Speaker 3>Those types of things.

164
00:08:18.079 --> 00:08:20.519
<v Speaker 4>So I think it is a big conversation to have,

165
00:08:20.560 --> 00:08:22.839
<v Speaker 4>and I think that it you know, just the idea

166
00:08:23.040 --> 00:08:27.439
<v Speaker 4>of you know, disrespectful behavior. So much of that is

167
00:08:27.959 --> 00:08:31.000
<v Speaker 4>defined by the person that's feeling disrespected, and I think

168
00:08:31.000 --> 00:08:34.399
<v Speaker 4>it just it requires and in leadership, a really good

169
00:08:35.159 --> 00:08:38.200
<v Speaker 4>awareness of body language and responses that you see from

170
00:08:38.200 --> 00:08:41.360
<v Speaker 4>people in certain situations to understand how they take certain things.

171
00:08:41.440 --> 00:08:42.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I agree with that.

172
00:08:42.480 --> 00:08:44.480
<v Speaker 2>I like one of the things you mentioned in there

173
00:08:44.600 --> 00:08:47.600
<v Speaker 2>was this idea of, oh, if I'm being interrupted, it's

174
00:08:47.639 --> 00:08:50.279
<v Speaker 2>because I want to get what the boss is thinking anyway.

175
00:08:50.320 --> 00:08:51.799
<v Speaker 1>So I become fine with that.

176
00:08:52.399 --> 00:08:56.000
<v Speaker 2>And you know, I think in some situations that's not

177
00:08:56.039 --> 00:08:59.240
<v Speaker 2>necessarily unhealthy, because if the goal of the meeting is

178
00:08:59.279 --> 00:09:01.879
<v Speaker 2>to is to get to what the boss wants anyway,

179
00:09:02.360 --> 00:09:06.799
<v Speaker 2>then that's fine. But I think there there there's collateral

180
00:09:06.879 --> 00:09:10.240
<v Speaker 2>damage when that happens, because if if a boss is

181
00:09:10.399 --> 00:09:15.759
<v Speaker 2>constantly interrupting, even if the in this particular meeting, that's

182
00:09:15.759 --> 00:09:17.399
<v Speaker 2>what you want because you want to get their thoughts

183
00:09:17.440 --> 00:09:20.080
<v Speaker 2>so you can move forward anyway, I think it stifles

184
00:09:20.759 --> 00:09:26.320
<v Speaker 2>future contributions from people when when the goal isn't just

185
00:09:26.320 --> 00:09:27.960
<v Speaker 2>to get what the boss is thinking, but the goal

186
00:09:28.039 --> 00:09:31.600
<v Speaker 2>is to collaborate and to you know, come to agreements

187
00:09:31.600 --> 00:09:34.519
<v Speaker 2>on what strategy should be as you're as you're building strategy,

188
00:09:34.840 --> 00:09:38.639
<v Speaker 2>and so there I know that there are people when

189
00:09:38.679 --> 00:09:40.639
<v Speaker 2>I was in that meeting the other day, I know

190
00:09:40.679 --> 00:09:43.320
<v Speaker 2>there are people who just didn't say anything because they

191
00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:46.000
<v Speaker 2>knew they would be interrupted, and so that you didn't contribute.

192
00:09:46.120 --> 00:09:49.360
<v Speaker 2>And was it a problem during during that meeting. Maybe not,

193
00:09:49.519 --> 00:09:51.200
<v Speaker 2>Maybe they didn't have maybe they didn't have much to

194
00:09:51.240 --> 00:09:54.600
<v Speaker 2>contribute anyway, But I know on a long enough timeline

195
00:09:54.720 --> 00:09:55.480
<v Speaker 2>it is a problem.

196
00:09:55.559 --> 00:09:57.159
<v Speaker 1>On a long enough timeline and enough.

197
00:09:57.000 --> 00:10:03.480
<v Speaker 2>Meetings, there is enough potential good ideas or good contributions

198
00:10:03.559 --> 00:10:07.440
<v Speaker 2>or or relevant feedback. You know that doesn't get said

199
00:10:08.039 --> 00:10:11.480
<v Speaker 2>when when a person is just known for being the

200
00:10:11.720 --> 00:10:14.679
<v Speaker 2>one who will constantly interrupt, Eventually.

201
00:10:14.159 --> 00:10:16.559
<v Speaker 1>It will hurt. It will hurt.

202
00:10:16.399 --> 00:10:19.480
<v Speaker 2>Things in terms of the relationships and in terms of

203
00:10:19.639 --> 00:10:22.679
<v Speaker 2>you know, potential business outcomes when people just stop speaking

204
00:10:22.720 --> 00:10:24.039
<v Speaker 2>up because somebody is doing you.

205
00:10:24.080 --> 00:10:25.240
<v Speaker 1>Know, a lot, a lot of disrespecting.

206
00:10:25.320 --> 00:10:28.720
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, let me ask you when you think about, you know,

207
00:10:28.840 --> 00:10:32.159
<v Speaker 4>over time, is this something that you've seen more of

208
00:10:32.480 --> 00:10:34.759
<v Speaker 4>or less of? Because as you were talking, in my head,

209
00:10:35.120 --> 00:10:37.360
<v Speaker 4>I was thinking about my observations as far as like,

210
00:10:37.759 --> 00:10:39.879
<v Speaker 4>is this something that's a lot more prevalent today than

211
00:10:39.879 --> 00:10:40.480
<v Speaker 4>it was before?

212
00:10:40.559 --> 00:10:42.440
<v Speaker 3>Like, what's your opinion on that? That's a great question.

213
00:10:44.000 --> 00:10:44.919
<v Speaker 1>I think probably less.

214
00:10:45.559 --> 00:10:47.639
<v Speaker 2>I think I see maybe less of it over time

215
00:10:48.840 --> 00:10:53.360
<v Speaker 2>from from people as a whole. I think there is

216
00:10:53.559 --> 00:10:59.840
<v Speaker 2>an increase in emotional intelligence from a lot of people

217
00:10:59.879 --> 00:11:00.919
<v Speaker 2>in general.

218
00:11:01.039 --> 00:11:04.039
<v Speaker 1>Like I think as emotional intelligence has become.

219
00:11:03.840 --> 00:11:08.120
<v Speaker 2>More valued and you know, something that people look for

220
00:11:08.240 --> 00:11:12.279
<v Speaker 2>in another person, I think that the a lot more

221
00:11:12.360 --> 00:11:15.720
<v Speaker 2>people have that then maybe had it, you know, twenty

222
00:11:15.840 --> 00:11:16.559
<v Speaker 2>or thirty years ago.

223
00:11:17.039 --> 00:11:20.960
<v Speaker 1>And one of the criteria of that, I think.

224
00:11:20.919 --> 00:11:24.200
<v Speaker 2>Is just kind of respecting others, not interrupting them, letting

225
00:11:24.200 --> 00:11:26.480
<v Speaker 2>them finish, even if you even if you are like

226
00:11:26.600 --> 00:11:28.720
<v Speaker 2>chomping at the bit to like say what you want

227
00:11:28.759 --> 00:11:32.120
<v Speaker 2>to say, just the idea of letting somebody else finish.

228
00:11:32.279 --> 00:11:34.320
<v Speaker 1>In general, I think so I see a little bit

229
00:11:34.360 --> 00:11:34.919
<v Speaker 1>less of it now.

230
00:11:35.080 --> 00:11:38.159
<v Speaker 2>There are there are one off examples where individual people

231
00:11:38.279 --> 00:11:39.440
<v Speaker 2>that's just who they are, you know.

232
00:11:40.000 --> 00:11:42.159
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I would say less. Why do you disagree?

233
00:11:42.559 --> 00:11:42.759
<v Speaker 1>You know?

234
00:11:42.840 --> 00:11:47.159
<v Speaker 4>I think I seem more interrupting, but actually like it

235
00:11:47.399 --> 00:11:50.600
<v Speaker 4>having less intention of actually interrupting. It's like more of

236
00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:53.399
<v Speaker 4>an attention thing where like you may be talking to

237
00:11:53.440 --> 00:11:55.320
<v Speaker 4>someone and they're just not paying attention to what you're

238
00:11:55.320 --> 00:11:57.960
<v Speaker 4>talking about, and then they interrupt you because it's not

239
00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:01.159
<v Speaker 4>even like in their head that you're talking. Yeah, I

240
00:12:01.159 --> 00:12:03.559
<v Speaker 4>see that more often, but it's not with the intention

241
00:12:03.639 --> 00:12:05.080
<v Speaker 4>of like trying to interrupt a conversation.

242
00:12:05.200 --> 00:12:07.039
<v Speaker 2>Sure, So it's like it's just like, you know, kind

243
00:12:07.080 --> 00:12:10.639
<v Speaker 2>of the a result of the YouTube life where everything's

244
00:12:10.679 --> 00:12:12.519
<v Speaker 2>on demand and everything's a distraction.

245
00:12:12.720 --> 00:12:14.360
<v Speaker 1>It's almost like it's almost like.

246
00:12:14.320 --> 00:12:17.720
<v Speaker 2>The the subtle ADHD that we've all developed in our

247
00:12:17.759 --> 00:12:20.000
<v Speaker 2>own brains over the last ten years because of just

248
00:12:20.039 --> 00:12:24.480
<v Speaker 2>the constant influx of stimuli. And I think there's maybe

249
00:12:24.519 --> 00:12:26.679
<v Speaker 2>there's a some some negative effects of that.

250
00:12:27.240 --> 00:12:29.960
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely, And with that it brings us to this episode

251
00:12:29.960 --> 00:12:31.879
<v Speaker 3>as a one minute hack. But first a few words

252
00:12:31.919 --> 00:12:32.639
<v Speaker 3>from our sponsors.

253
00:12:33.799 --> 00:12:35.320
<v Speaker 2>All right, for this episode's one minute Hacker's or I

254
00:12:35.320 --> 00:12:37.320
<v Speaker 2>wants you to do. When it comes to giving somebody

255
00:12:37.480 --> 00:12:42.519
<v Speaker 2>feedback or addressing a situation where someone is interrupting constantly

256
00:12:42.759 --> 00:12:46.240
<v Speaker 2>or being disrespectful constantly, you know, there there's two things

257
00:12:46.279 --> 00:12:50.879
<v Speaker 2>to consider. One is whether or not the disrespect was intentional.

258
00:12:51.120 --> 00:12:55.440
<v Speaker 2>So you know, some people interrupt because they are actually

259
00:12:55.519 --> 00:12:59.200
<v Speaker 2>being disrespectful, and some or they're trying to be disrespectful,

260
00:12:59.360 --> 00:13:02.360
<v Speaker 2>some people in a because they are just excited and

261
00:13:02.519 --> 00:13:06.000
<v Speaker 2>don't think they're being disrespectful. And then on the other side,

262
00:13:06.039 --> 00:13:08.600
<v Speaker 2>there's there's the question if to ask yourself is whether

263
00:13:08.679 --> 00:13:11.000
<v Speaker 2>or not feedback is needed. And so if you think

264
00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:15.039
<v Speaker 2>about a situation, there are situations where a person wasn't

265
00:13:15.320 --> 00:13:18.279
<v Speaker 2>meant meaning to be disrespectful, but feedback is still needed.

266
00:13:18.519 --> 00:13:21.679
<v Speaker 2>And there are scenarios where a person is being disrespectful

267
00:13:21.960 --> 00:13:24.279
<v Speaker 2>but it's actually not appropriate for you to give feedback.

268
00:13:24.759 --> 00:13:26.840
<v Speaker 2>And so you have to think about each scenario and

269
00:13:26.840 --> 00:13:29.200
<v Speaker 2>figure out, you know, is this something where it's my

270
00:13:29.480 --> 00:13:32.440
<v Speaker 2>job to address this and if so, how.

271
00:13:32.320 --> 00:13:32.799
<v Speaker 1>Do I do that?

272
00:13:32.799 --> 00:13:35.000
<v Speaker 2>Do I do it immediately when it's happening, Whether there's

273
00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:36.879
<v Speaker 2>people around or not do I wait and do it

274
00:13:36.960 --> 00:13:38.960
<v Speaker 2>later on when it's just me and that person one

275
00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:41.480
<v Speaker 2>on one. And all these things are are are things

276
00:13:41.519 --> 00:13:47.240
<v Speaker 2>to consider, but in general, if a person is if

277
00:13:47.240 --> 00:13:50.639
<v Speaker 2>a person needs the feedback on something they're doing, either

278
00:13:50.679 --> 00:13:55.200
<v Speaker 2>interrupting constantly or being disrespectful constantly, you know, if it's

279
00:13:55.279 --> 00:13:57.759
<v Speaker 2>your responsibility to give that feedback or if you want

280
00:13:57.759 --> 00:13:59.840
<v Speaker 2>to see a change, it has to start with giving

281
00:13:59.840 --> 00:14:03.360
<v Speaker 2>that feedback. And and the only times that I can

282
00:14:03.399 --> 00:14:06.279
<v Speaker 2>think of where that it's not appropriate to do are

283
00:14:06.320 --> 00:14:08.639
<v Speaker 2>when either it's a one off interaction. You're never going

284
00:14:08.720 --> 00:14:10.440
<v Speaker 2>to see that person again or interact with them again,

285
00:14:10.679 --> 00:14:13.279
<v Speaker 2>So why why go down that path that's between them

286
00:14:13.519 --> 00:14:15.879
<v Speaker 2>and the other people that they're they have relationships with,

287
00:14:16.440 --> 00:14:18.399
<v Speaker 2>or when it could be something that is it could

288
00:14:18.399 --> 00:14:22.639
<v Speaker 2>be detrimental to your career, And and and then sometimes

289
00:14:22.679 --> 00:14:25.279
<v Speaker 2>it's appropriate to take a partner when when going forward

290
00:14:25.320 --> 00:14:26.440
<v Speaker 2>that instead of doing it on your own.

291
00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:29.279
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I like, I like the idea of understanding. And

292
00:14:29.320 --> 00:14:30.960
<v Speaker 4>I said this earlier that like there's a time and

293
00:14:31.000 --> 00:14:35.120
<v Speaker 4>place for it. It's absolutely an element of normal banter

294
00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:38.960
<v Speaker 4>and dialogue and conversation as well. I think many times,

295
00:14:39.080 --> 00:14:41.320
<v Speaker 4>like when I feel if I would say, like I

296
00:14:41.320 --> 00:14:44.120
<v Speaker 4>got this, you know, I felt disrespected because somebody interrupted.

297
00:14:44.519 --> 00:14:47.320
<v Speaker 4>It's probably because I felt I had feelings about something

298
00:14:47.360 --> 00:14:50.519
<v Speaker 4>else in general, and they also interrupted me, and I didn't.

299
00:14:50.279 --> 00:14:50.759
<v Speaker 3>Like that either.

300
00:14:50.799 --> 00:14:54.200
<v Speaker 4>You know, like that's typically a lot of it, but

301
00:14:54.200 --> 00:14:58.480
<v Speaker 4>but when leaders do it consistently, I absolutely like myself personally,

302
00:14:58.559 --> 00:15:00.559
<v Speaker 4>I just I just stopped talking to this. Okay, Well,

303
00:15:00.879 --> 00:15:02.440
<v Speaker 4>in my mind, what they have to say is more

304
00:15:02.480 --> 00:15:03.799
<v Speaker 4>important than when I have to say, so I'm going

305
00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:05.720
<v Speaker 4>to allow it. I'm going to kind of go from there.

306
00:15:05.919 --> 00:15:08.559
<v Speaker 4>But I also know that that in many instances, I

307
00:15:08.600 --> 00:15:10.480
<v Speaker 4>have to be I have to give that feedback if

308
00:15:10.519 --> 00:15:12.000
<v Speaker 4>I felt that way, because if I felt that way,

309
00:15:12.200 --> 00:15:14.480
<v Speaker 4>there's a chance that others might have felt that way, and.

310
00:15:14.399 --> 00:15:16.279
<v Speaker 3>Somebody, somebody should be aware of it. If there's something

311
00:15:16.279 --> 00:15:17.080
<v Speaker 3>that they constantly do.

312
00:15:17.279 --> 00:15:21.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, there's an element of ownership for other people's experience.

313
00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:23.720
<v Speaker 2>And if you're if you're a leader of leaders, or

314
00:15:23.720 --> 00:15:26.360
<v Speaker 2>if you're a leader of people, and you know that

315
00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:30.320
<v Speaker 2>the person who's doing the interrupting interacts with everybody, there

316
00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:34.000
<v Speaker 2>can be an element or a feeling of personal responsibility

317
00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:36.840
<v Speaker 2>to address something with somebody. Even if it's not negatively

318
00:15:36.879 --> 00:15:40.240
<v Speaker 2>impacting you directly, You just kind of, like Grin and

319
00:15:40.240 --> 00:15:42.320
<v Speaker 2>Barratt or get through it because you don't value their

320
00:15:42.360 --> 00:15:45.039
<v Speaker 2>opinion anyway, and you move through your day. If that

321
00:15:45.120 --> 00:15:48.399
<v Speaker 2>can be impacting others that you feel a personal responsibility

322
00:15:48.440 --> 00:15:50.960
<v Speaker 2>for for their experience, then it can be necessary to

323
00:15:50.960 --> 00:15:52.799
<v Speaker 2>address that on behalf of them. So that's something you

324
00:15:52.840 --> 00:15:55.279
<v Speaker 2>definitely want to consider as well when it comes to

325
00:15:55.360 --> 00:15:57.759
<v Speaker 2>just whether or not it's your responsibility to say.

326
00:15:57.639 --> 00:15:59.639
<v Speaker 4>Something absolutely and with that it brings us at the

327
00:15:59.679 --> 00:16:01.799
<v Speaker 4>end of this episode, this is how your leadership. I'm

328
00:16:01.879 --> 00:16:03.679
<v Speaker 4>Lorenzo and I'm Chris, and we'll talk to you all

329
00:16:03.720 --> 00:16:04.120
<v Speaker 4>next time.