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Speaker 1: Noel Debussue variations on a Mendelssohn theme by Randolph Bartlett.

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It was Christmas Eve, a fact which David Pearson realized,

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less from any feelings of his own in the matter

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than from observing that the Union League Club was just

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a little duller, if possible, than usual, his cronies were

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scattered among dozens of festive affairs, invitations to which he

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had persistently declined, preferring the boredom of a few days

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in comparative loneliness to the boredom of noise and gaiety

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in which he took no interest. He was distinctly and

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uncompromisingly an old bachelor, and if he had had any

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sense of the fitness of things, he would have been

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sitting in a dimly lighted room beside an open fire,

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watching wreaths of tobacco smoke formed tender pictures of days

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gone by. But he disregarded all the best traditions, and

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his apartment was a blaze of light. While he studied

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the financial pages of the Post, his attention was distracted

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by the sound of boys voices singing in the street,

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and idly curious, he raised his windows slightly to listen

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god ready long gentle manallyading line. The singing was particularly bad,

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but it interested Pearson because he used to sing that

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carol himself years ago, and he experienced a little thrill

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to think that there were some of the pleasures of

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his childhood days that people had not been able to

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improve upon. When did I last sing that? He mused,

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it must have been the Christmas just before I went

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to college. He smiled broadly at the recollection that his

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principal ambition then was to force his voice down low

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enough to sing bass, and he began to hum a

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counterpoint to the treble that floated up from the street.

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Little Julia Connor used to sing the soprano quite prettily.

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He remembered, poor Julia the last time I saw her.

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Her voice had grown shrill and hard from constantly telling

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four children not to do things. She was a lovely

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slip of a girl in those days. That was when

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all a girl needed was to be pretty and modest,

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and everything was brought to her. P What a noisy

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crowd it was at that party. After the singing was over,

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Julia slipped away into a quiet corner by herself. We

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were too boisterous for her. I remember feeling sorry for her.

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She seemed so neglected. So I went over and sat

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beside her, and we talked about the high school days

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that were just and did the others romped away into

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another part of the big house and forgot all about us.

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Then I began to notice how pretty she was, and

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what white tapering hand she had. She didn't object when

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I took one of her hands in mine and squeezed

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it a little, and she didn't object either, And I

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put my arm around her shoulder, but just pretended not

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to notice. And then I kissed her. She couldn't help

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noticing that, Oh, David, it wasn't It isn't right, she said,

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But she said it very softly, and there was no

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indignation in her voice. So I kissed her again, and

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a little bit harder. Then she drew away and hung

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her head a little. She was a very pretty girl, Julia.

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I love you, I declared, manfully, for I wanted more kisses,

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and so I think did she. I drew her closer

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again and repeated it and was rewarded. And I love

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you too, David, she said. Too Soon the others came

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looking for us, but before the evening was over, we

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found a few minutes more. Together. We won't tell anybody

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just yet, she said, and I agreed promptly. And within

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a week she quarreled with me because I danced three

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times in one evening with another girl who is a

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much better dancer. You have broken my heart, she said, sadly.

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I will never trust another man as long as I live.

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And now, pretty little Julia has four children and a hard,

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shrill voice. While she before shelf of fine idle see

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on round, the boys in the street started another song

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and David Pearson recalled another Christmas. It was just a

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few months before his graduation, and he was home for

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the holidays. A big church fair had been arranged for

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Christmas Eve, and the moving spirit was Esther Wallace. I

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wonder how the rector ever would have managed without Esther

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Pierson cogitated. In fact, people used to say that if

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Esther Wallace didn't pay a little more attention to our

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own affairs and a little less to those of the church.

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The first thing she knew she would be an old maid.

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She must have been thirty then, And the way she

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pounced upon me and made me help her with the decorations,

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because she said it would keep me out of mischief

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for a few days. It was a good deal of

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fun at that and there was nothing churchy about estherther,

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so I didn't mind. We became very well acquainted, and

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when the evening of the fair arrived and it was

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a big success, she kept telling me it would never

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have been half so good without my help. You've been

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a dear boy to give up your holiday like this,

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she said. I felt that for once I was appreciated,

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and kept following her around all evening, ready to do

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anything she wanted. Of course, she had to stay until

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last to attend to everything, and of course I had

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to stay to see if there was anything I could do.

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And then I went into the little side room with

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her to help her with her coat. Those were the

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days of the huge sleeves, and as I tucked hers

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into her coat, I put my arms around her and

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gave her a vigorous hug. My, but you're strong, she said.

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Do you go in for athletics at college? It was

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a rather dampening matter of course, way to take it,

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but I ignored the remark and kissed her resolutely. Oh David,

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mustn't it isn't right, she said, why not, I demanded. Well,

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for one thing, I'm years and years older than you.

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I swore it made no difference, and kissed her several

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times more. You are so strong, she murmured, and made

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a showing of resistance. But it was the footsteps of

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the janitor as he went around turning out the lights

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that ended the matter. For just then. I walked home

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with her, putting my arm around her waist whenever we

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came to a dark stretch of street. In the porch

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of her house, I started it again, and again my

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strength was too much for her. I love you, esther,

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I said at last, as it seemed the only thing

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to do, And I love you too, David. She responded,

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but you must think of your career and what your

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father would say. I'm much too old for you. I

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didn't want to think what father would say, and declared

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it made no difference that I was a man and

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had a right to my own life. She sighed and

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said I would forget all about her when I went

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back to college, and I denied it with a few

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dozen more kisses for emphasis. Heavens, what a relief it

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was to me a few months later to get a

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note from her saying it was all a mistake and

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that she was going to marry as the rector, And

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so I wrote, you have broken my heart. I will

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never trust another woman as long as I live. It

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came upon agree, is hmm, that's funny. I suppose that

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song really has more to do with my being here

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tonight than any other one thing. What a row. Father

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and I were having that Christmas. I wanted to get

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out of his business and have him furnish me with

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capital for a venture of my own, and he refused,

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So I said I would quit anyhow, go to South

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Africa and make my own way. We had quite a

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crowd at the house for the holidays, and it naturally

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percolated everywhere that things were in a general mess in

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the family. Then after dinner Christmas Eve, they all began

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singing carols in the music room. One by one they

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all dropped out and left the singing to Clara Forster.

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Mother had been sounding the praises of Clara until I

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was tired of her very name, and so I sulked

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off into the den. A little later, Clara came in

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humming and pretended to be looking for something. She fiddled

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around a while and then, standing behind my chair, deliberately

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parodied the lines, and man at war with man hears

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not the love song that they bring, only she sang

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it the love song that I bring. It was neatly

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done that I knew those old hymns pretty well and

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recognized the change. But the point was that I was

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worn out with the round and welcomed anything that might

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prove a congenial diversion. You have a beautiful voice, I said,

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by way of starting conversation. Thank you kindly, sir, she said,

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she warbled, and sat down on the arm of my

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big chair. You don't seem very christmasy, she remarked, and

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proceeded to impart a little cheerfulness to the atmosphere of

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the den. Mother caught sight of us and kept the

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remainder of the crowd steered in other directions. It was

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not long until I began to feel that life was

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not such a gloomy veil of tears after all, And

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so it came about, quite logically that I pulled her

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down upon my lap and kissed her. Oh, David, you mustn't.

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It isn't right, she protested, but not violently. Why not, Well,

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you see, we're not that is, you're not. Oh, yes,

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I am, I declared, for she was a very nice girl,

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and it seemed the thing to do to reassure her,

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especially as the terms were pleasingly vague. You are what

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what you meant? So we fenced back and forth, but

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she cornered me. So if it had to be, I

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might as well make a good job of it, I decided.

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I drew her very close, kissed her thoroughly, and said,

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I love you, Clara, and I love you too, David.

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She whispered and snuggled in my arms. You won't go

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to South Africa, will you, she pleaded A little later,

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I wouldn't like it in South Africa, And of course

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I promised and went straight to my father and agreed

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to his plans without reservation. Then, because Clara's family moved

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to Chicago, and I insisted upon not marrying until I

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had made a place for myself in the world independently

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of my sinecure in father's business, and would not go

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to Chicago, she broke off the engagement with a note

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which read, you have broken my heart. I will never

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trust another man as long as I live. It was

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fully six months before she married into the beef trust

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o little town of Birthingham House. Now we see thee line.

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There seems to be no limit to the number of

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ways a man can make an idiot of himself. But

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Christmas time apparently collects them in one group and defies

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you to escape them all. My luck has not failed

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me yet, though, and I suppose I am immune now.

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But I tremble to think of the things that might

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have happened. There was may Bell Graham, for example. That

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was a narrow escape. It was the missile toad did it? Probably?

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I am no more averse to contributing my share to

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the fun on these occasions than most men. But I

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think I would have hesitated a long time before making

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any advances toward the giddy Maybell in any other circumstances.

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I never saw a girl so plain and yet so

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brazen about it. A girl with an appearance like hers

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should be becomingly modest. Then people will be sorry for her,

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and eventually someone will marry her out of pity. So

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Christmas was a field day for her. She used to

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get herself invited to the most exclusive places, and I

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could never see why, for everyone always treated her as

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if she had come in by the tradesman's entrance when

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no one was watching the door. It must have been

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at the thatcher's. It happened. They were cousins of hers,

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and the way that girl was ignored, the others would

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be captured from time to time, as they quite inadvertently

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found themselves or were found beneath the sprig of little

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white devil berries. But Maybel could stand there by the hour,

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and she was as safe as if she had been

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in an empty house. You couldn't help feeling sorry for her,

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at least I couldn't, so I made a special effort

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to be nice to her, and then, waiting til no

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one was looking, on the principle that charity should not

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be made a public matter, I caught her waiting patiently

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under the bow and did the only fair thing. Did

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she appreciate it? Did she take it at its face

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value and let it go at that? She did not.

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She hung on with both arms, and the next thing

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we knew we were discovered and her ardor was misinterpreted.

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You would naturally not expect a girl to be in

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that position unless she had received encouragement. So I had

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to protect myself and for the remainder. Of the two

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days that the party lasted, I had to make good.

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I endured it as well as I could, not being

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especially interested in any of the other attractions anyhow, and

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comforted myself with the thought that in a day or

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two I would be back in town and could escape

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escape Maybell, what a chance. She telephoned twice a day.

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She wrote notes to me, complaiinning of my neglect, saying

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that all her folks were talking about it. She invited

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me to dinners and things until I exhausted all my

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excuses and had to run in duplicate. Finally, she wrote

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and asked, in so many words if she had been

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misled by my actions at the Christmas party. I replied

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that she apparently had, and then she wrote, you have

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broken my heart. I will never trust another man as

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long as I live, and I guess she never did.

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For the last I heard, she was still a spinster

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of the orangel, saying glory to a you won King.

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David Pearson drew a deep breath of relief. He always

243
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,440
did when he thought of that escape, but on this

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00:16:53,559 --> 00:16:57,039
occasion it reminded him of another adventure that had an

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00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:01,679
element of peril, of another sort and had its inception

246
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under the missiletoe. I wonder when someone will tabulate the

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00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:12,119
various kinds of kisses and list opposite each the occasions

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when it shall be permitted. When a man kisses a

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woman under the missiletoe, he doesn't mean anything by it,

250
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:21,799
and the woman has no business to take advantage of

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00:17:21,839 --> 00:17:26,160
the situation to ensnare him. I could never understand why

252
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:30,160
Alice Harrison did it. There were plenty of men anxious

253
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to make love to her and tell her how badly

254
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her husband was treating her. Possibly it was because I

255
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was not in the crowd and she wanted to complete

256
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:43,039
the collection. I don't know that I am any more

257
00:17:43,079 --> 00:17:46,720
squeamish than most men, but somehow I never have overcome

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00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:49,680
the old fashioned idea that a married woman is the

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00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:56,119
property of another man, and theft is not in my line. Still,

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when I kissed Alice that Christmas Eve, the way she

261
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:04,200
took it and responded undermined whatever stability in the matter

262
00:18:04,279 --> 00:18:10,519
that I possessed, Lord, the cleverness of that woman having

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00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,920
started the train of thought or emotion or whatever it is.

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She turned away with a little laugh and pretended that

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it was an isolated incident to be immediately forgotten. She

266
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played me like an experienced anger until I was mad

267
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about her, and almost forcibly dragged her into a dark

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corner of the conservatory, and there I returned her gift

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of the early evening with all the accumulated interest. Oh, David,

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you mustn't it isn't right, the hypocrite gasped. Why not,

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I demanded hoarsely. Is I believe the proper description of

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00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:55,240
my tone of voice? I'm a married woman, she explained.

273
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Of course, MY proper answer was that she should have

274
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:02,559
thought of that sooner. But instead I made the usual

275
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:07,200
remarks about her brute of a husband. I presume that

276
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,640
to the lover of a married woman, her husband is

277
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:13,480
always a brute. As a matter of fact, my recollection

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00:19:13,559 --> 00:19:16,000
of Harrison is that he was a very decent fellow,

279
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,200
and probably never did anything that Alice had not provoked

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him into. After indicating that such a husband did not

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deserve such a woman as she, I made my declaration.

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I love you, Alice, and I love you too, David,

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she whispered. And then but we must hurry back or

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we shall be missed. We were able to see each

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other only occasionally, and for mere fleeting moments, until one

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00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:50,279
day she telephoned saying that she would be alone that

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00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:54,240
evening and I might call. But there happened to be

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a rather nasty murder trial going on at the time,

289
00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:00,920
and after reading some of the evidence, so I decided

290
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:05,160
not to. She was very angry at first, and then

291
00:20:05,319 --> 00:20:09,200
very tearful. I don't believe you love me at all,

292
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:15,319
she said plaintively. The time seemed ripe, so I said

293
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perhaps there had been a mistake, and the woman had

294
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the effrontery to say, you've broken my heart. I will

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00:20:24,519 --> 00:20:31,880
never trust another man as long as I live. No, well, no, well, no, no.

296
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Those were the days when Christmas meant a pandemonium, a

297
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lot of fussing about presence, and a great deal of

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indigestibly rich food. David Pearson's recollections continued, and when I

299
00:20:49,279 --> 00:20:51,640
think how I used to miss them after I really

300
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:55,400
began to have serious interest in life, I am surprised

301
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:59,559
at myself. Lonely nurse is the self pity of a

302
00:20:59,599 --> 00:21:04,279
man no resources of his own. So it was quite natural,

303
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:08,279
before I had developed my attitude of independence toward existence,

304
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:12,559
that I should feel lonely, and especially around Christmas time.

305
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It was the psychological moment for the arrival of Helena Birch.

306
00:21:19,559 --> 00:21:22,680
I wonder if that woman ever was married. She was

307
00:21:22,839 --> 00:21:26,359
rather vague in her allusions to her experience in that direction,

308
00:21:26,839 --> 00:21:30,680
But it didn't and doesn't matter. She was not encumbered

309
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:34,240
at that time. At least, it was just after my

310
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first generally known success in the market. Where was it

311
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I met her must have been at one of those

312
00:21:41,839 --> 00:21:46,319
informal and somewhat questionable parties of blakes. There was a

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good deal of that sort of thing going on at

314
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,839
that time, I suppose there is. Yet she was quite

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a frequent member of the gatherings at various bachelor apartments.

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One evening she asked me what I was going to

317
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do Christmas, and I told her I supposed I should

318
00:22:01,039 --> 00:22:06,079
be deserted as usual, so shall I. She said, Let's

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have a little dinner and a mutual sympathy evening at

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my apartment. It sounded interesting, and I accepted. I never

321
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:17,839
did know just what to make of Helena at first.

322
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She had a bohemian way with her, and yet everything

323
00:22:21,559 --> 00:22:26,000
was entirely proper. There was an invisible and yet clearly

324
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defined line beyond which you would not think of trespassing.

325
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At least I wouldn't. I always was a duffer at

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that kind of business. The evening was a great success.

327
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That dinner was perfectly thought out in the appointments exquisite.

328
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She was a connoisseur in wines and had mastered the

329
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:50,000
art of removing all the grossness from the act of eating. Then,

330
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while I smoked, she played for me and sang in

331
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a careless sort of way that a man likes to

332
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,359
be sung to, as much as to say, I know

333
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I have no voice, but you're a friend, and it

334
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:05,440
doesn't matter so much, because you know I'm trying to

335
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entertain you as well as I can. So eventually I

336
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:14,880
became quite mellowed. And when she was tired singing and

337
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,839
came over and sat beside me on the davenport, I

338
00:23:18,039 --> 00:23:22,440
naturally drew her over to me and kissed her. I

339
00:23:22,759 --> 00:23:27,519
love you, Helena, I said, And I love you too, David,

340
00:23:28,079 --> 00:23:31,680
she answered. But even at the time, it came to

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me with a sort of chilling effect that there was

342
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:38,519
no conviction in her voice. Perhaps it was an echo

343
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:42,039
of my own absence of ardor but to me recalling

344
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:47,119
other Christmases, her tone sounded hard and cold, and there

345
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:51,480
was little warmth in her embrace. However, it passed for

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what it was worth. I saw her several times after that,

347
00:23:56,000 --> 00:24:01,599
and usually at her apartment. Then one evening she said, David,

348
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,279
I think I would like to have a nicer place

349
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:07,839
than this, but I can't quite afford it. I've been

350
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,480
looking at an apartment over on Riverside Drive. It is

351
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,200
just what I want, and I could entertain you so

352
00:24:14,319 --> 00:24:19,279
much better there. I couldn't ask for any better entertainment,

353
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I protested, but she enlarged on the advantages of the

354
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:28,440
more expensive place, and it would only cost ten thousand

355
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,799
a year, and ten thousand, she have heard, was nothing

356
00:24:31,839 --> 00:24:36,039
to me, but her income was so limited, and so on,

357
00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:40,119
And then I was very thankful that I had been

358
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:43,680
a model of discretion. I said I would think it over,

359
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,880
but I never went back. She telephoned several times and

360
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:51,200
tried to make engagements for dinner, but I always managed

361
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:57,000
to evade. Finally, one day she said, in a tearful voice, David,

362
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,799
aren't you coming to see me any more? I think

363
00:25:00,839 --> 00:25:04,480
I had better not, I told her, and then I

364
00:25:04,599 --> 00:25:09,359
wondered if she would say it. She did, you have

365
00:25:09,519 --> 00:25:13,039
broken my heart. I will never trust another man as

366
00:25:13,079 --> 00:25:16,400
long as I live. But I had heard it done

367
00:25:16,519 --> 00:25:22,119
so much better that it made no impression. When we

368
00:25:22,319 --> 00:25:30,440
crive was all on Mary ill at Holy Glory. How

369
00:25:30,559 --> 00:25:35,960
different was that Christmas dinner with Margaret Swain. I wonder

370
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:40,400
why I didn't marry her. Perhaps it was because I

371
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:44,480
had no encouragement and had grown too old to care

372
00:25:44,559 --> 00:25:49,480
to engage in a long stern chase. John Walton accomplished it,

373
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,079
but it took him more than a year of hard work.

374
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:55,960
She had been a widow about five years when she

375
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,160
took pity on me and invited me to what she

376
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,920
called a solitary feast of the forsaken at her house.

377
00:26:03,519 --> 00:26:07,039
I think that was the most homelike place I ever visited.

378
00:26:07,759 --> 00:26:11,359
There was no tinsel and show about it, just a

379
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:16,440
plain home of a wholesome woman. We talked about old

380
00:26:16,519 --> 00:26:21,119
friends and old times, even about her dead husband, without

381
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:25,279
the least sign of sentiment. I began to feel that

382
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:30,279
I was leading an extremely lonely life and losing touch

383
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:36,279
with everything except business. Later, in her little drawing room,

384
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:39,799
we ran out of topics of conversation, and she employed

385
00:26:39,799 --> 00:26:43,880
the phonograph for diversion. We listened in silence to half

386
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:50,799
a dozen records. Margaret, I said, finally, what would you

387
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,400
say if I were to make Christmas love to you?

388
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:59,000
She laughed, happily, do so by all means if you

389
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:03,759
think you ought to, she said, But always remember that

390
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:10,640
Christmas love, like Christmas presents, is not durable. Your levity,

391
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:15,960
I said, has broken my heart. I will never trust

392
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:21,680
a woman again as long as I live. David, she said, solemnly,

393
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:27,039
have you ever trusted one? And I was forced to

394
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:33,400
admit that I had not. God. A very gentleman le

395
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:39,480
hay knew then they're beginning all over again. David Pearson

396
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,440
leaned out of the window and bargained with the waifs

397
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,039
to end the concert in consideration of a piece of gold,

398
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:51,640
which was forthwith paid. Whereupon the old bachelor returned comfortably

399
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:55,000
to his study of the financial pages of the post.

400
00:27:56,880 --> 00:28:00,920
But beside a fireplace in a distant home, a middle

401
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:04,519
aged woman who had once been slim and fair, was

402
00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:08,599
singing snatchet of song as she and her husband decorated

403
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,880
a fir tree and wrote the names of four children

404
00:28:12,039 --> 00:28:16,079
on many parcels. And she did not think of David

405
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:22,519
Pearson all evening, and in a quiet rectory, another woman

406
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,400
was making a list of poor families that must not

407
00:28:25,519 --> 00:28:29,400
be forgotten in the morning, and she did not think

408
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:35,000
of David Pearson all evening. And in another home, the

409
00:28:35,039 --> 00:28:37,960
wife of a millionaire was sewing busily on a silken

410
00:28:38,079 --> 00:28:41,319
trifle that was to be her own gift to her husband,

411
00:28:42,039 --> 00:28:45,920
and she did not think of David Pearson all evening.

412
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:52,759
And in a mission in the slums, an unusually unprepossessing

413
00:28:52,839 --> 00:28:56,880
woman was being wept upon by a group of grateful mothers,

414
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:02,240
and she did not think of David Pearson all evening.

415
00:29:04,279 --> 00:29:07,519
And in a far distant city, a woman was telling

416
00:29:07,559 --> 00:29:10,599
her husband how happy she was that they had left

417
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:15,079
an old life behind them, and she did not think

418
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:19,920
of David Pearson all evening. And in a handsome apartment,

419
00:29:20,359 --> 00:29:24,359
a mature but still beautiful woman was entertaining one of

420
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:28,319
the merriest of gatherings, and she did not think of

421
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:32,920
David Pearson all evening. And in one of the most

422
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:37,079
homelike homes of all, a pleasant faced woman was enjoying

423
00:29:37,079 --> 00:29:40,079
the spectacle of a large house party of young folk

424
00:29:40,279 --> 00:29:44,759
engaged in the pastimes of Yule, and she did not

425
00:29:45,039 --> 00:29:51,839
think of David Pearson all evening, yet he had remembered

426
00:29:52,279 --> 00:30:00,079
all of them. End of Noel Debussy variations on a

427
00:30:00,079 --> 00:30:03,079
Mendelssohn theme by Randolph Spartlett