Speaker 1: It's not the Parthenon, but it sounds like the Parthenon.
Give them the comments, let us know what I'm talking about.
It's it's some uh, it's it's like a church, or
it's like a dome, it's like a temple.
Speaker 2: It's like it's like, really not the Vatican.
Speaker 1: No, not the Vatican. No no, no, it's in a different
spot of the city.
Speaker 2: The fountain thing.
Speaker 1: No, not traffic fountain. No no no, it's another one of
the jump of the comments. Let us know what this is.
But you look around and you go, wow.
Speaker 2: I had when I went to throw my I had
a lasagna for every meal.
Speaker 1: Hi, Hello, and welcome to another brand spanking new episode
of another blowdeck podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm saddled
up next to one Patrick Key.
Speaker 2: Permission to come aboard granted.
Speaker 1: So how are you doing doing well? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Bravo kind of screwed us this week.
Speaker 1: I don't like you don't need to get into the episode.
Came late, yeah, Ki Kim a little late, but it
was a big episode. It was an episode that everybody
was waiting with baited breath for and was it worth it? Patrick?
Speaker 2: Absolutely not?
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you want to go ahead.
Speaker 2: Oh, do we want to get any housekeeping out of
the way?
Speaker 1: If we do, But I didn't know if you, if
you were champion at the bid, if you needed to
just get it out any Okay.
Speaker 2: I'll save that for my thoughts and nots.
Speaker 1: Well, we'll say that for thoughts and nots PSA's really
exciting stuff for Patreon.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, The Bachelor. We've moved it behind the paywall,
so if you've been listening to us cover that on
bad TV, it's not in that feed anymore. It's behind
a paywall for five dollars, and we'll make it worth
your while.
Speaker 1: Donna Brazil gone like a thief in the night, exactly. Yeah. Also,
we just recapped Patty's big birthday bonanza.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I had twenty well excuse me. Supposedly it was
supposed to be twentieth twenty of my closest friends throughout
the years in my life in Los Angeles, and one
of my friends insisted upon bringing his wife. Yeah, and
she ruined the whole goddamn thing.
Speaker 1: Well, it was a lovely night. We broke the whole
thing down at patreon dot com. It was a four
course menu, and boy did I have some things to
say about the food.
Speaker 2: Dylan had thoughts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we broke down every single dish course by course.
Find that at Patreon dot com slash. Another podcast network,
Tropical Smoothi Cafe. He is a wonderful company that is
sponsoring the show. We'll talk to you all about the
magical powers of the Richay Bowles later in the show.
Pat thoughts posts.
Speaker 2: Did you mentioned magic Mind or we ad nott tonight? Okay?
Speaker 1: Not tonight?
Speaker 2: Okay. I think I need magic Mind in my life
because it's going to help me perform better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we all need magic Mind, and you know, to
help the show out, go to magic Mind dot com,
Slash below deck anderim below deck twenty.
Speaker 2: Okay, thoughts to not you want me to go first?
You want me to go first? You want to go first? Okay.
Beach Day is become a thing on below Deck. I
think it's usually around episode ten. It might in fact
be every episode ten of every season at this point.
My personal thoughts on that is, if I was an
employee of this vessel, I would say no thanks to
an invite to beach days because what.
Speaker 1: One of our sea rats did. Whow oh no, she's
just correct.
Speaker 2: Why would I want to spend a Saturday with a
bunch of people that I barely want to hang out
with during the week.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, what restaurant says when you're here your family?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Is that Bush's Beans?
Speaker 2: Is that the macaroni grill?
Speaker 1: Uh? It's either a restaurant or it's one of these
like you know these like big, big like agro businesses
that like have these like charming kind of like crassroots
stories like sar Gentle.
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, you know that's the cheese company.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the cheese.
Speaker 2: It's a dad and two brothers or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Sargento. When you're when you're when you cheese your family,
I think is go ahead?
Speaker 2: Do you remember Bartles and James? They were kind of
like the first hard Seltzers back like thirty years ago,
before they had a name for him. Turns out there
wasn't a Bartles and there wasn't a James.
Speaker 1: Yeah. You got to keep your eyes peeled because you know,
we just get lied to a lot in this waking life.
But anyways, yeah, beach days.
Speaker 2: Yeah, normally the beach days provide the final nail in
the wavering sea. Rat Coffin it's taken many people down. Yeah,
Gabby famously a waved white flag after a drunken day
of Shenani.
Speaker 1: Wow, she got at Need in the face. I think, yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: And then I think Fraser almost almost got to fire
Barbie last season, but somehow she wiggled her way out
of out.
Speaker 1: That's Ryan and Fraser. We'd love to talk to you. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't think he's mad at us anyway. Okay, other
notes here, because I thought it was just an okay episode.
That Joe Guy's really starting to get under my skin.
Speaker 1: I mean my main point to take away from this
episode is that Joseph thick eyebrowed scumbag.
Speaker 2: Eh, well, he's lame. He wrote that dumb song. Yeah,
he talked down to Gail this episode, and his voice
is annoying.
Speaker 1: Watch out.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I don't want to be on our bat side.
Speaker 2: Not a fan of Joe. I thought it was just
a decent episode. Boy, the whole beach day was a bust.
I mean, normally I don't want to see those sea
rats get sunburned while they you know, get alcohol poisoned,
and someone gets fired. However, it just felt like we
just it was five minutes of the episode and then
we were done. Yeah, pots oh h nine.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be cynical about Nathan and Gale's love,
but it's the worst kind of sea rat romance, which
is the man is playing a long con to bed
the sea rat. It's like, listen, we've been wrong about
this before. I mean, never did. I thought Peten and
Nipples were gonna get together after the show, but they did.
In fact, now that it's never gonna last.
Speaker 2: No, never, I don't think it has. Are they still together?
You're referring to Sonny and whatever that.
Speaker 1: I've done and Ben.
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, here's another thing that I noticed. You
remember when they were at the they were doing a
little sight seeing and Gail just kept having pictures taken
of her by herself.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: You know. One time we went to Napa with a
group of people and my buddy Greg. He decided to
bring a date quote unquote date. Turns out she wasn't
a date at all. She didn't want anything to do
with him except for that free trip to Napa. The
whole time, she's just taking pictures at wineries by herself.
She had a boyfriend. People will do.
Speaker 1: That, Yeah, I mean, listen, free trips to NAPA are
free trips to NAPA. Right, So, yeah, wasn't the greatest episode.
And let me just say this really quickly. I don't
want to burst anybody's bubble. But you know, we get
some scenes from later on in the season.
Speaker 2: Oh the at the tail end of the they did
teasers for both.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we get scenes from later in the season. And
he's not going anywhere. Cheese is not going anywhere. Okay,
this is a three girl team for a four girl boat.
We can't just fire two people.
Speaker 2: So we just add a fourth. I think her name's Carrie.
Jonah is definitely getting fired, it looks that way.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't know if fish can kill, right. I
don't know if the flesh of yellow fin can kill right.
I don't know if that's a real allergy or if
we just have a nutbag.
Speaker 2: I think I think she's a nutbag. Yeah, it's so
kind of fun, like, yeah, oh fish, m oh, this
can kill me. And Sandy's like, oh my god, yeah
it's old Sandy there. Yeah, well, Jonah, you almost killed someone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, Sandy, she's just a fucking lunatic. I don't
think the flesh of fish can kill, but.
Speaker 2: I don't swell out their throat. You might have to
see a doctor.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, she's like, have you seen
that seen in anaconda when they have to cut open
the man's throat and all that stuff and the bee
is in there. That's what would happened to me if
I ate this savice right now? Anyways, last fucking seven pods? Yeah,
but last PSA. And this is selfish, but I think
it might be cathartic to some of the people out
there who have seen it. The people that write the
show House of Dragon, Oh yeah, should be. I'm not
talking about re education, but maybe a speeding ticket, right,
even though they they deserve a fine. Okay. What what
the gang over at House of Dragon delivered last night
is nothing short of unacceptable. Okay, And I think that
everybody who saw that can agree.
Speaker 2: Was it season finale?
Speaker 1: Season final?
Speaker 2: It was only eight episode ARC?
Speaker 1: This eight episodes and you said ARC what arc? Right,
We've got Luigi's spooky mansion with Damon, We've got the
introduction of some bizarre character that nobody cares about through
the eyes of the lanister that nobody really gives a
shit taking up twenty minutes of the sea. It's what
you guys are the crem della krem.
Speaker 2: This is supposed to be good.
Speaker 1: This is prime time television writing on HBO's primetime slot,
and you do this, you deserve to be fine.
Speaker 2: This is why I watch shitty reality TV.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really disappointing.
Speaker 2: You don't have to be so invested. It can be
on in the background. Yeah, writing has gotten really bad.
It's crazy.
Speaker 1: The writing is so bad. We've got Bayla running around
in grass trying to find a dragon. What is she doing?
What's she doing? Can someone tell me what she's doing?
We've got the Sneeze, the sea Snake's bastard children. I
don't care. I don't care. It's all so bad.
Speaker 2: I remember my buddy, well, I won't say his name.
Speaker 1: A nine This was a nine pot episode of Below Deck.
It was better than the season finale of Game of
Fee Is that right?
Speaker 2: Good for you? Bravo?
Speaker 1: Eat that?
Speaker 2: Can I start us off with this episode? Okay? So
we begin with Sandy having a little chat with the
balk and Biscuit and Cheese here, and she wants to
see if they can work things out, but both of
them take a hard stance. They're not willing to apologize
or try and work or mend the relationship. It's I
was asking myself as I was watching these two, where's
the strategy here? I've often mentioned Game of Oars. Actually, yes,
it's the only game where the outcome doesn't matter. It's
almost like they're not thinking at all what the endgame
might be. Right right, my god, you fucking see rash.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like I imagine if little Finger was working his entire
life to position himself as the second stew on a
rented yacht, Yeah, it'd be like, what are we doing?
But he wasn't. He was trying to get to the
iron throne. Okay, so Ellie says, you can fire me
today if you need to, because I'm proud of what
I've done. Sandy turns around dismisses them since Mary and Joseph,
and we leave this meeting with an even more fetid,
putrid hatred for one another than we had before we
hopped into the close nest. These two hate each other.
Speaker 2: You know, though, I will say this still and towards
the end of the episode, when you have a common enemy,
it's an old saying. You may just be friends. Joe
is a scumbag.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that won't stop Cheese and or I mean
definitely Cheese from trying to bang him. And that's just
so heartbreaking to see. Not only do we have the
the grievances committed on the keys, the hopscotching, the lily
padding between the two, but the pronouncement, the bonding with
the other woman about what a piece of shit this
guy is, and after all of that, to go back
to the the well is just man. Horniness is just
such a powerful thing.
Speaker 2: Ben there myself.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I get it. We all have. Man,
it's just wild. So Sandy has a chat to Asia
day she's eating lunch, and.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: At this point, it looks like these two are going
to get fired yesterday, but as we kind of know
in the bottom of our balls, there's no way that's
happening now.
Speaker 2: I also want to say, because it's an absolutely stupid
maneuver to make, why fire both and hamstring yourself? I'd say,
fuck it, flip a coin, you're both awful.
Speaker 1: Love that love that? Oh better? Yet break a pool
queue in a half really nice? Yeah? Okay, So we
have this little vignette of JOHNO talking about how baking
is a cruel bitch. This didn't amount to anything. He
did well with the cake. Don't show us this unless
he's going to fail.
Speaker 2: Yes, that cake was fine. Now till i'll if you
don't mind, I'll handle the proceedings of Gale and Nate. Yeah, well,
they chat and she lets us know she's never gone
from one relationship jumping into another. And I don't think
that's that's a good way to describe what's transpired.
Speaker 1: On a horrible way to describe it. Yeah, she didn't go.
Speaker 2: From one to another. There there was, in fact some crossover. Yeah,
here's an analogy. On Saturday, I went to Disneyland and
then I went and got pizza. Right, But if Gail's
telling that story, she was eating Papa John's while on
Space Mountain. She was doing both things at the same time.
Speaker 1: Okay, I get what you're saying. I would say that
the five months relationship with the c rat both afloat
in different locations is barely a relationship. So I would
say it was. It would be like if you were
let's say, you know, one of these what I eat
in a day? You know, bitches on Instagram says, they
take like two bites out of a donut, right, and
then they move on to the next donut, but they
don't eat the donut and they go, oh my god,
I can't believe I've had two doughnuts today, you know
that kind of thing.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: I think both of these analogies might be bad.
Speaker 2: But possibly. But what I will say is, there's a
thing that we used to call in the game the
book the Game, written by that creepy guy. It was
called warming up in the bullpit. Okay, okay, And what
Gail has done Nathan wasn't warming up in the bullpen.
He was actually hitting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well that's what drove me so nuts
about this whole You know, can I give you a
kiss thing? At the end of the episode, You guys
have been sucking each other's faces for weeks now, so
Asia feels like she's failing, and Ellie and Cheese set
a table while absolutely hating each other. The tension is palpable.
Speaker 2: Well, Dylan, you and I have been forced to work
with people, yeah, quite closely, that we despise, and they
in fact despise us as well. One of them. I
think I punched a wall. He hated us so much,
that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like, did you just punch a wall? And
he said fuck you and he walked away. I was like, whoa, Yeah,
I'd never see anything like that.
Speaker 2: I missed that company so much.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, So let's get to the nighttime. Sandy sees
the tablescape and says, table looks great. Let's switch the
cabins because we might have a homicide on our hands
if these to sleep together. I think it's great management
from Sandy. You got to get them out of the
same room. You know.
Speaker 2: It's interesting that they're doing the exact opposite. Generally, if
you had put the both of them in the room
to each other, they don't hate each other because the roommates.
They hate each other because they were chasing the same guy.
And also bris in cheese is incompetent, right, You normally
put them together would pond them. Pulling them apart in
this case may have been the smartest solution yet.
Speaker 1: I think so yeah. So poor Gale. She says she
needs to get to bed because she's going to get
five hours of sleep if she goes down at nine.
It's absolutely wild to me that in an era of
you know, I would say respect for labor, not by
the big guys, absolutely not, but I mean respect for
the mental wellness of labor. How are we a person short?
How are these people getting five hours of sleep? Can
we do something here to fix this because it's inhumane?
Speaker 2: Well also very dangerous, very dangerous.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: This isn't someone just working at an office job and
being tired. You're working on a vessel that can literally
kill you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, just ask Captain Jason. I mean, when
you're tired, you can ram your boat into an entire marina,
but be kind of the lives of many.
Speaker 2: But because you're hot, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: Let's get to dinner. Seafood pasta with scallops and white
wine sauce.
Speaker 2: Was that it? One course?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Not enough for me?
Speaker 1: And this is what the show does to the chefs, right,
so like, and it's foolish to me because we have
to recap the show with fidelity. But like I'm watching
the show, I see one course than cake. I know
there has to be other food. So I'm not even
gonna call Johno a psychopath for doing that or mock
this entire operation for thinking that that's appropriate for paying guests.
But if that was the case, these people should be fined.
You know.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm gonna best and I want to talk
to Jono. We've given him a lot of shit. I
want to talk to him. I'll get on that.
Speaker 1: Okay, So this slumber party has been set up. Always
says we need candles. That sounds like a bad idea
to me. But we hear a little bit of a song.
It's a it's a dickhead song played by Joe at
the piano, who is a yeah, but he's also he's
a floundering talent when he gets on those keys. I mean, yeah,
sure he can. He can mosey his way around, you know,
a couple of notes.
Speaker 2: But I've seen a fifth grade piano recital with more acuity.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you. Uh. The song is something like this.
I got with one of them, I got with the other.
I got with one of them on and now what
should I do with the other? It was it was
a objectifying, revolting song. I just wanted to trump there
for a second.
Speaker 2: Yes you did.
Speaker 1: It was. It was a nasty song. It was. It
was a horrible song, but yeah, it was.
Speaker 2: She's a kick on right, she's.
Speaker 1: Green right right, Who are.
Speaker 2: You talking about, oh, our vice president?
Speaker 1: Oh Kamala? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, So I don't know.
They call her Campbellton. I don't call her that, but
some people call her that. No politics, you know what
you're doing there? I mean, some people say he's fat.
I don't say he's fat.
Speaker 2: Some people say is a fat pig?
Speaker 1: I don't say, though.
Speaker 4: Okay, god, okay, So then just stood at a pulpit
said that though.
Speaker 2: Yeah, during the slumber party set up, it turns out
that the balk and Biscuit is within an earshot of
this horrible misogynoust song.
Speaker 1: And just to you know, and speaking of misogyny, you know,
when when I referenced the what I Eate in a
Day bitches earlier, it was just I was.
Speaker 2: I was, only that's an actual handle, isn't it. Well,
I was, I.
Speaker 1: Was referring to the twenty three year old women with
perfect bodies who go, this is what I do to
stay in shape. You're twenty three years old, Okay, please
but this yeah, oh, reading between the lines, picking up
on the details, Nathan sees Ellie walk in. He doesn't
put a stop to the song at all. And this
is why this sea rat brothership, this our brotherhood. It's matchsticks,
you know. I mean these people if they were put
into a squid game like scenario, oh my god, they'd
be dead. They would be not only needing to kill,
but possibly enjoying the bloodlust after a certain point. So
Nathan really did not help his bro out.
Speaker 2: There, No, he didn't, and as a result, this is
the balk and Biscuits. She said that song made her
dry up. Yep, you know what makes me dry up?
The band corn. Oh yeah, they're just too negative. All
those songs about hell not sexy at all.
Speaker 1: No, I mean pop a roach mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Very my wife made up with the singer. I always
get jealous when I hear that song.
Speaker 1: It's a very Inland Empire energy, the whole thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, very riverside.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what drives me up?
Speaker 2: What drives you up?
Speaker 1: Riverside?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I was there this weekend. Yeah yeah, I didn't
want to be.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Hey in the comments, tell us what dries you up?
Speaker 1: What drives you up?
Speaker 2: You know that's a new sing Yeah what dries you up?
Speaker 1: It's not Oh are you talking about? Like what annoys you?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Well, it's just a fun way to say it.
Patty's just created a thing, right right? Hey, what dries
you up?
Speaker 1: City of Industry drives me up?
Speaker 2: Oh, traffic.
Speaker 1: Poorly uh, poorly made tuna salad dries me up. There
you go the wings at seven eleven? What what do
you guys? You guys are serving buffalo wings to people.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you something, seven eleven. You have no
business serving Mexican food. Okay, you got to get out
of that business yesterday.
Speaker 1: And it's insane. The oversight of all of us to
allow seven eleven to make it a culinary pillar of
their business model to sell to ketos. How did we
how did we let this happen? It's crazy.
Speaker 2: You know the number one item that seven eleven sells,
uh scratchers maybe when there's yeah it's coffee.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah that stuff is rocket fuel, Yes it is. Yeah.
So anyways, because this is how seven eleven makes the coffee.
There's a disgruntled employee that comes out at four point
fifteen in the morning and he or she just dumps
scoop after scoop up to way too many. They don't care,
they're tired, and they spit in the machine. And then
you drink it.
Speaker 2: That's why I beaked out of my mind.
Speaker 1: You beat out. Yeah. So anyways, we gotta talk about below.
Oh sure we do. Let's say a quick word about
a company that I have really Dare I say fallen
in love?
Speaker 2: Fallen in love with them too? And I don't say
that often. No, Tropical Smoothie Cafe.
Speaker 1: Yes, we're officially on Tropic Time and so can you
be if you go to any of the fourteen hundred
plus locations, if you use their app and use promo
code bad TV while you're ordering any of the delicious
offerings like the Mohito mockt out Delicious, I'm element mojito.
They've got guaha, they've got a Kai bowls. I mean,
you'll be on Tropic Time time. Yeah, it's pretty awesome.
It's so awesome, man, I I I you know that
they they made a big buye into the show. Yeah,
and we love them for that because this insane company
comes along and says we should we should give these
guys a year campaign because they'll they'll talk about, you.
Speaker 2: Know, talking to dolphins for fifteen.
Speaker 1: Minutes, reanimated coconuts. Right, So thanks, thanks Tropical Smoothie Cafe.
Go to Tropical Smoothie Cafe. You'll be on Tropic Time then,
and use the code bad TV in the app. Okay,
get happy, so we get some lovely talk of high
school bus fights and we sing a song for Colleen,
that song being the Happy Birthday Song, one of your
least favorite songs.
Speaker 2: Oh it's so it's just so sad and depressing. I
actually tried to wave off everybody singing Happy Birthday to me. Yeah,
I could not stop you guys.
Speaker 1: You did it anyway, No, I mean you can. You
can very rarely stop people from singing Happy Birthday, your birthday.
So slumber party gets going. Porn Star Martini's are with up.
Ellie whips them up. They taste like shit.
Speaker 2: They do. Would the audience like to know what's in
a porn Star Martine?
Speaker 1: I would like to know.
Speaker 2: Okay, it sounds pretty delicious. Actually it is vodka, passionfood
lime juice, and it's served in a chilled coop I'm sorry,
a chilled glass with a side cart of prosecca.
Speaker 1: I like that.
Speaker 2: The drink was created in two thousand and two by
bar owner Douglas Ancrat. He's dead, by the way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's a very two thousand and two drink
to make and I would imagine that man and either
of natural causes or a drug overt.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, he was inspired when he went to a
strip club. That's how he came up with it.
Speaker 1: Oh cool, Well, strip clubs are very inspiring places.
Speaker 2: Yes they are.
Speaker 1: You know you really you go to strip clubs to
Idy eight.
Speaker 2: By the way, the reason why I think Ellie I
was now that I knew or I knew what the
ingredients were. It was the flavored vanilla vodka that fucked
up that that martini.
Speaker 1: And vanilla vodka should be federally illegal.
Speaker 2: I think it is so disgusting. Whoever came up with
that idea?
Speaker 1: Yeah, probably that guy that boned his hard on drugs
that came up with that porn star martini is probably
that guy. So Bree calls a friend. She says, Ellie's
a bitch. Her friend says, I agree, and they hang
up the phone and we've got to just have more
to that, right, Yeah, you know what I mean, because
what do we get from that?
Speaker 2: Nothing?
Speaker 1: Ellie goes down at three o'clock. When we get to
the final day of the charter, seven am Cooozy call
that was quite a curveball.
Speaker 2: Yeah, could kind of probably loosen up the joints so
you could do a little yoga or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's exactly warm all the tendons up. It's amazing
to go on a vacation and ask the staff if
they can do something and they're just I mean, I
boogied zombies just like, uh, yeah, I guess, I mean
it just it feels like such an imposition, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I never expect quality service out of someone that's
sleep deprived entirely. No, no, absolutely not unless never see
how fucking miserable people are at breakfast places or donut
shops at five in the morning. They hate you.
Speaker 1: Well, well, where do the donut chops are all owned by?
What are they? Laotians?
Speaker 2: Well, not all of them? What are you talking about, like,
just like, uh, what are some of the bigger ones
we have out?
Speaker 1: No, No, I'm not talking about Winchles or anything. I'm talking
about like mom and pop donut chops.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I'd say there are several in our in
our local vicinity here, and they do, in fact, either
employee a lot of ages.
Speaker 1: It's a family business. It's a it's a it's I
wish I knew it's there. There's salt of the earth.
People that work so unbelievably hard for very small margins,
And what do they have to do? Throw coffee at
homeless people that walk in their stores at five five
in the morning.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I see him shoe Uh oh yeah. Zombie
out the other day because a zombie.
Speaker 1: Is making a bet, right, he's going listen how much canna?
Don up be? Just give me one? And they throw
a scalding ot coffee at that.
Speaker 2: No. No, this guy walked in the zombie and the
one behind the collage just said, nope, get out. Yeah,
and he listened. Yeah anyway.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The problem with throwing hot liquid at a zombie
is they have so many layers on regardless of the
temperature that you're probably gonna have to have a really
good aim. You have to hit skin otherwise it's it's
essentially like an exoskeleton. Okay, So Nathan and Gale take
this one. They seem to drain the boat of all
its hot water, and the Eastern Bloc engineer uh does
quite a bit of a rat job.
Speaker 2: Yeah. He rats him out, Ye rats him out. So
luckily it was the end of the charter because no
one Everyone would be departing the boat with no hot
water if.
Speaker 1: You needed a shower before you get on the plane,
sat in complete filth.
Speaker 2: Well, Sandy calls Nate Nian up and get them together,
and she sees Ian as the problem, you know, because
he's the bos in there.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then we get a look back at Ian's greatest missus. Yeah,
and we're minded once again that he has the opposite
issue that Haley Joe Osmon did in the sixth sense.
Haley saw dead people. Ian doesn't see living people. Haley.
Speaker 1: Haley saw more dimensions than we can. Ian sees less
dimensions than we can, which is a perilous condition. Think
about the danger of that.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't even want to interview him because
he's gonna say, who am I talking to? Well, yeah,
we're right here.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. I mean, thank God for the for the ears,
you know, because otherwise he would just stop talking. I mean,
according to him, there's no one in front of the
camera right now, you know, it's just wild stuff. So
Nathan does this kind of faux heroism thing that.
Speaker 2: Was Yeah, the camera's caught it. Nathan, you were gonna
win on this one. No matter what.
Speaker 1: Okay, so Sandy is very very cheesed off. You know,
if at the end of this episode we hadn't seen
the scene where Sandy says, I have to fire Johona,
which usually means that she's not gonna fire Johno, I
would say that Ian is in pole position to get fired.
Speaker 2: This could be a season where half the boat gets fired.
It's just a bloodbath.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's that dire.
Speaker 1: I don't think anybody's getting fired. Well, well bye, how
incompetent the entire cast is. So Yeah, we go back
through the litany of mistakes. Nathan takes the blame and
then goes and lets Gaale know that he took the blame.
I kind of feel bad for Ian in this situation.
I don't know why this is Ian's fault. I think
it's just the cumulative effect of him not seeing things
that exist.
Speaker 2: Well there, it's also cumulative in that he's messed up
so much that now actually just everything that gets fucked
up falls on his lap. Yeah, because one could argue,
using the same point, the laundry keeps getting messed up.
Sandy could argue, Kermit, this is on you, you're her supervisor,
Why is this happening right too?
Speaker 1: Way Street, which she did, but not in the same
kind of vitriolic way she does with Ian. But Gail
heads up to chat to Sandy Gail's accountability and tears torque.
Sandy right the fuck up, and she says, I wish
Ian had this kind of.
Speaker 2: Account yep, yeah, yeah, and.
Speaker 1: He's a dead man walking.
Speaker 2: One other moment happens prior to that, though, Sandy, because Colleen,
our primary is leaving. Yeah, she asks Colleen how is
the food? And she says it was great, And Sandy
responds by saying, really, yeah, hey, Dyl, tell me that
the Rock is a great actor.
Speaker 1: The Rock, the Rock is a great actor. Really yeah,
it's uh.
Speaker 2: The inflection is surprised and disbelief. Jonoh is getting fired.
Speaker 1: Can I tell you I saw Twisters over the weekend? Oh?
I was aka more than one Nato. I cannot tell you.
I can't remember the last time I had that much
fun in a movie.
Speaker 2: Get out of It Now.
Speaker 1: It was just wall to wall fun.
Speaker 2: That's what it's supposed to be.
Speaker 1: It was so amazing. Me and a couple of friends went.
Speaker 2: How high were you?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Because that helps make the movie fun.
Speaker 1: Oh I was gone. I was absolutely blitzed. But in
the beginning, a young Indian male gets ripped off a
pole and he goes into the tornado. My friend screamed forward,
he was stunned at the at the violence of it all.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, Yeah, that's maybe a tip to the a
nod to the first one because the scene of a
family grabbing on Oh you remember the first one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you're scared. That dog was going to go out,
but it got into the storm cell.
Speaker 2: You know, real quick, because I know we got to
talk about below deck even though there's nothing to talk about.
Glenn Powell I mentioned this on one of our other properties.
Every once in a while Hollywood, like three times a
year they anoint some new actor or actress that's gonna
be in eight movies over the next second. And he's
why is he the guy?
Speaker 1: Because he's a golden retriever. Okay, he's a golden retriever.
And let me tell you he is perfect. In Twisters.
Go see Twisters. I mean, it's just an amazing film.
No satanic shit like in Long Legs. Just Twisters.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to see Long Legs.
Speaker 1: When it comes to your Hometelvision. That's right, right, because
you wouldn't want to go see that in a theater.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna make my triumphant return to the movie theaters
to see Aliens Romulus the sixteenth. I'm going by myself.
I'm going during the day, and I'm not telling my wife.
I'm gonna see the two o'clock showing of it and
enjoy a movie going experience, really by myself.
Speaker 1: Which theater you're gonna go to? Universals, Well, you're not
gonna enjoy yourself.
Speaker 2: It's during the day, no one will be there.
Speaker 1: Trust everyone's gonna be there, not until just a horrible theater.
So don't go there. We gotta get you back into
the movies, right. If you were a vegetarian and your
first bite back into the real world was a hot
dog that, you know, you wouldn't be coming back, right,
That's true. Don't go to Universal City Walk. It's a
disgusting place. Okay, So wigs are nice and tight, and
we're heading to the doc Joe and Nathan. This is
when Joe slips into this bizarre I don't know, taking
notes and keeping tabs on Gail's princess like treatment. This
is what are you doing?
Speaker 2: And by the way, it wasn't even her fault. If
your buddy Nathan wants to take the blame for the
drain out right, that's for him to do it, and
that's not her business. Hey, Joe, her alone, Joe.
Speaker 1: Go wipe some rails down. Leave Gail alone. Okay, you jerk,
you jerk, Geez Louise, So John olix Asia's hand. I
got to say. These two were a buddy cop flick
and I love it. I think they have a great relationship.
So the guests to part uh. The primary tells Ellie
to get the drinks right next time. Joe says he's
going to apologize to Ellie, and I guess he's he's
he's got it out for her. Man. She's taken too
long inside and when she heads up to do some
more cleaning, there's a bizarre amount of tension between the two.
Where's this coming from? Why is it important? Why was
this is like one of those things that this should
have hit the cutting room floor, right?
Speaker 2: I think so, don't you think? Yeah? That's probably why
they No, I don't want to get behind the scenes, but.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, I don't want to do that.
But yeah, all right.
Speaker 2: So at this point, Chese reports to Kermit that she
wants Ellie out of her goddamn laundry dungeon, right because
things are getting kind of messed up.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: And this is when Kermit tells her to go kick
some fucking rocks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Kermit is. I love it so much because she's
just such a light. But she's also there to, you know,
Steven sagal a piece of plywood if she needs to,
you know what I mean. I mean, she just tells
us straight to her face, you're being an insane person.
This boat does not run according to your personal preferences.
Speaker 2: Go away, cheese, and not to get ahead of myself.
I can appreciate her strategy on trying to nail down
who's the incompetent one. I think we know the answer
to that one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah exactly. But she is taking the
one of the silver bullets of sabotage out of the picture,
that's right, right. So it's just really, you know, she's
coming into her own, man, She's just a phenomenal bulowdeck
cast member. So tip meeting Pat, what do we get?
Speaker 2: We got twenty one to five. That's eighteen hundred each.
That's great, and then Sandy announces that the sea rats
have been just so mediocre, I mean amazing. The owner
of the boat, who we never actually meet, he's like
that Charlie guy in Charlie's Angels. You just hear him
on the box. Oh, I even hear this guy anyway,
he's paying for a day off at the beach club.
Speaker 1: And yeah it's a banker from Dealer. No deal has
arranged the day off for them, but first we got
to go get fucked up. Now, Ellie decides to hang back,
and that is that is prudent. Yeah, I mean it's
a really really good move. Ellie is so confusing to
me because I think that her hatred of cheese has
has dragged her down into some kind of fourth or
fifth circle of hell. But she really does have a
good head on her shoulders at times, like when they're
sitting down with Joe at the beach club, she diagnoses
his apology in a really human way, and somebody with
a good amount of emotional intelligence yet cheese. I mean,
they both evolve into complete and total gremlins towards one another. Yeah,
it's unbelievable.
Speaker 2: Well you ever see a married couple and they both
hate each other and they're miserable and they're their worst
versions of themselves. Yeah, it's kind of like that here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. So Cheese is told about the song. She's
heartbroken for Ellie and revolted by Joe. Two questions, why
are you gonna hook up with him then? And two
why are you heartbroken for just Ellie? You were also
objectified in the song, so be heartbroken for you too.
We get to dinner, Cheese wants to run from Joe,
and Asia is looking on the bright side. She sees
a future wherein Cheese can be not bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The sky is the limit for this girl. I mean,
she can reach to a status where she's just not bad, right,
And that's a that's a damning indictment. You know, it's
a playful one. But if the root, the root of it.
Speaker 2: Is to keep the sky analogy, the sky's the limit.
If one layer of the sky is bad, yeah, breached
that layer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know the sky is a lie. We
live in a firmament. The earth is flat. Everybody knows that.
So deck team stuff. Joe tells Gail that he is
upset with her princess treatment. Again, this is so left
field for me. I I It's like a small dose
of psychosis. It's shutter island shit. I mean, where is
this coming from?
Speaker 2: Him? Getting dicky with Gail? It was really weird because
I felt she'd handled this whole screw up with the
draining perfectly, like like a goddamn champ. Everyone would like
to have a coworker like Gail. Now having her as a.
Speaker 1: Girlfriend a different story. Different story. Now having her as
a girlfriend on land when you're not sea rats, that
might be a lovely thing, you know, but and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're just giving you ship. We know you're twenty five.
I have a good time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love I love Gail? All right? So Asha
loves history and the beach cheese and Ellie bond over
their hatred of Joe. This is where you speaking on
the Uh. The enemy of my enemy is my friend? Yeah?
Is that the right expression?
Speaker 2: If we have the same enemy, we may just be friends. Okay,
that's right.
Speaker 1: So at least says who the fuck are you? I
have NFL players in my dms, you know, which isn't.
Speaker 2: Half her pictures of her wearing dental floss. Who doesn't, Yeah,
right exactly.
Speaker 1: And and NFL players while they all are you know, uh,
they're successful on their own right. Some of them are,
oh linemen, they're three hundred and seventy five pound white men,
you know. So, uh, it's cool, but you know, hopefully
they're hot. Hopefully they're hot. Okay, So we head to
the Acropolis and we talk about.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if you knew this, but Kermit
points out this place is really old.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it is really old. I mean when when
you when you go to these places, you you you're
really blown away by what they could achieve so long ago,
you know, because it's not the Parthenon, but it's the
thing in Rome that's like the getting the comments. Let
us know what's the Colisseum. No, not the coliseum the
it's not the Parthenon, but it sounds like the Parthenon.
Give them the comments. Let us know what I'm talking about.
It's it's some uh, it's it's like a church, or
it's like a dome, it's like a temple. It's like
it's like really.
Speaker 2: Not the Vatican.
Speaker 1: No, not the Vatican. No, no, no, it's in a
different spot of the city. The fountain thing, No, not
traffic fountain. No, no, no, it's another one of the
jump of the comments. Let us know what this is.
But you look around and you go, wow.
Speaker 2: I had when I went to Rome, I had lasagna
for every meal. Yeah, yeah, for four days straight.
Speaker 1: Because lasagna is not even a Roman.
Speaker 2: I don't know they made it for me.
Speaker 4: It took a while in the kitchen, yeah, because it's
not what they do. No, it's the best of lasagna
I ever had, though, that's insane. I also only ordered
cheeseburgers when I was in Thailand.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's everybody knows that. And I don't blame
you because ty food is I mean, it's just too hot.
Speaker 2: I got sick of it too. I was like, I'm
not eating more Typhood's.
Speaker 1: It's so delicious. I love type food. Ty food does
not love me. Okay, I just can't do it. So
it's too much dried shrimp and chili. I mean it's
just you know, I don't know. Maybe Jews can't eat
Ti food. I'm not sure. So anyways, Ashley Asia is popping.
She's talking about storing her cloth and gold safely because
civilization depends on it. I mean, these are these kind
of slips into insanity that make Asia so lovely.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think she'd make a good barkeep back in
now the four hundred BC time.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, so Joe missed her kind of bill a buddy,
I don't know what this note is, but Nathan and
Gaale have some kind of oh he hasn't apologized to
Ellie yet, as I think the thing that I was
getting at.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, so this is where we bounced the
beach club day, I think. Okay, so the conversation starts
out with some positive reflection on the season. You know,
Gail starts talking.
Speaker 1: About No I was I was still at the parthenon.
Joe's not apologizing to Ellie. I think the thing that
I wanted to express was for somebody who talks about accountability.
Why do I keep want to say wanting to say
accountabil A buddy, that's not the word. It's accountability. For
somebody who talks about accountability, go apologize to the woman,
Well what this should have been taken care of? You
did a really shitty thing. And then Nathan and Gale
have their you know, I want to go somewhere with her.
It's like, would you two just bang each other already, Yeah,
what are you gonna have kids?
Speaker 2: Definitely not enjoy banging each other.
Speaker 1: All right, let's get to the beach.
Speaker 2: Okay, the conversation starts, like I think Gail started. She's
like kind of just talking about the fun parts of
being a sea rat and living with each other, family, family,
and then uh, then the balk and biscuit, like the
fucking grinch sucks all the fun out of the air.
That's when she starts looking at Joe and she wants
an apology. Yes, he was so disrespected. Now till I
feel differently than you. I felt like she was kind
of faking here. I don't think I don't think she
cares at all that he had that song about her.
I mean, the girl had bombs dropped on her town.
For God's sake, youth, think some imbecile writing a dumb
song about her. She's gonna have a well Patrick, Hurt
is hurt.
Speaker 1: Right, Hurd is hurt. And you know there are there
are bombs of the emotional plane that uh maybe don't
they They don't hurt as bad, but they still hurt.
And it was just disgusting to me that Ellie had
to coax the apology out of Joe, who is leaning
back in his street fair shades, having to be kind
of prodded into this apology. Now, the apology he gives
is a heartfelt one.
Speaker 2: And done several times. He did several circles back. I am, wow,
that's why I'm apologizing.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, yeah, well, good for you. So we head
to the This whole place is called the Dot Beach Club,
and that kind of triggered me. Yeah, Patreon, there will
be a dot drop coming very soon, and I mean
a big one, Okay, a big dot trop all right,
So we talk about kissing with Nathan and Gail and
spare us. They're very bashful about the whole thing. Spare us.
We get to the next day, next morning, and we
get right to it. I mean, should we just get
right to it? The preference she meeting. Okay, let's go
for Moisha Dellinger Natural hair care brand dinner. Dinner is
going to be. We've got some retired athletes here with
a life coach, a life coach and the best you know,
because life coaches are great because they don't need any
kind of licensure to espouse bullshit, right, So that's fantastic.
Speaker 2: They want a Michelin Star experience, so I would recommend
they head to Paris and not this boat.
Speaker 1: Yeah. They they write down their demand for Micheline quality
in one of the most psychotic ways I've ever seen. One,
don't write it so aggressively. Two, go to Paris and
don't go on this boat if you want Micheline quality food. Okay,
because Micheline quality food has you know before before the
awards were perverted and polluted with all of these hawkers,
you know, these these fucking old world chef guys. They're
just disgusted that a Takaria gets a Michelin Star. They're like,
it's just well, I mean, I don't know, there's a
lot of good food out there, but anyways, Micheline Star
meals have teams of often hundreds of people. So don't
write this on a preference sheet, is what we're trying
to say. Okay, good God. We leave the doc. Jona
says rather correctly that he might be fucked for this one.
And then we get to laundry. Sandy is once again
missing a red shirt. And now we've got Asia spiraling
a little bit because we are, we really are in
the throes of insanityum and the definition being repeating the
same thing and expecting a different result. So Asha's got
to change this up a little bit because Cheese has
proved to be wanting in a major way. There is
laundry all over the place every time. I can't imagine
how frustrating it would be for Asia to walk up
to Cheese for the sixtieth time and go, hey, we're
missing a red shirt? Where is it? And She's just
looking at her at deer in headlights saying I have
no clo what do we have a wormhole aboard this vessel?
What is going on? We'll find out what happens next
week next week. Until then, go to patreon dot com
for Patty's b Day Stories, The Bachelor, and more ad
free episodes as well. Five stars, kind words. We got
to get to your reviews. We'll read them next week. Okay,
well you remember that we got to read.
Speaker 2: Some Yes, someone said that they left our coverage for
a little while. They dropped us, not because they were mad.
Some people say, yeah, I don't like that you said this. Yeah,
this person in the review said they came back and
that we helped them out of a mild case of
depression our show.
Speaker 1: I saw that that made me feel It makes me
feel good. It makes me feel good.
Speaker 2: Laughter is the greatest medicine. That's right.
Speaker 1: And we'll read that review next week and put your
name on it. We love you guys so much for
supporting the show. Do so at Patreon, do so with
our advertisers. Have a great rest of your week. We'll
see you next week. I'm dying saying goodbye, pat Say
goodbye later.
Speaker 3: Did the STS instinct extet is the
Speaker 2: Distin