WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.080 --> 00:00:06.639 Section thirty of Amusement Only. This is a LibriVox recording. 2 00:00:07.719 --> 00:00:12.320 All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more 3 00:00:12.359 --> 00:00:19.839 information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording 4 00:00:19.879 --> 00:00:26.679 by Kevin Alex. Amusement Only by Richard marsh a substitute. 5 00:00:27.359 --> 00:00:32.479 The Story of My Last cricket Match. Chapter one. I 6 00:00:32.520 --> 00:00:38.079 am appointed captain. I have some idea of cricket, not 7 00:00:38.240 --> 00:00:42.439 much perhaps, but I certainly have some. I was not 8 00:00:42.600 --> 00:00:46.759 in the varsity team, nor near it, but I played 9 00:00:46.759 --> 00:00:52.000 in the freshman's match and provided myself with spectacles. I 10 00:00:52.119 --> 00:00:55.759 was nearly in the school team once. That was when 11 00:00:55.799 --> 00:00:59.719 I carried my bat for forty five. I must own 12 00:00:59.759 --> 00:01:03.000 that my performance was a surprise to everyone and to 13 00:01:03.079 --> 00:01:06.920 myself among the rest that as I never repeated it 14 00:01:07.480 --> 00:01:11.519 or anything like it, they left me very wisely out 15 00:01:11.560 --> 00:01:15.760 of the eleven. Thus it will be seen that from 16 00:01:15.799 --> 00:01:19.239 a cricketing point of view, I did not, even in 17 00:01:19.319 --> 00:01:23.159 my best days, come up to first rate form, and 18 00:01:23.239 --> 00:01:26.840 in my best days were reckoning from last summer quite 19 00:01:26.959 --> 00:01:31.519 fifteen years ago. During those fifteen years, I do not 20 00:01:31.680 --> 00:01:35.439 remember once handling a bat, far less hitting at a 21 00:01:35.480 --> 00:01:40.319 cricket ball with one. And yet in this state of unpreparedness, 22 00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:43.560 I had the presumption last summer to captain a team 23 00:01:44.159 --> 00:01:48.519 and to lead them on well, not to victory, but 24 00:01:48.599 --> 00:01:54.719 to disgrace. It's a fact. The match was Storwell versus Latchmere. 25 00:01:55.920 --> 00:01:59.280 Storwell was my team, and as I do not think 26 00:01:59.359 --> 00:02:02.120 a more remark arkable match was ever known in the 27 00:02:02.120 --> 00:02:06.439 whole annals of cricketing history, I here venture to report it. 28 00:02:08.439 --> 00:02:11.000 When they first asked me to play, I thought they 29 00:02:11.000 --> 00:02:14.680 were mad. Storwell on Sea is a village on the 30 00:02:14.719 --> 00:02:18.719 south coast. I beg pardon, I believe it is called 31 00:02:18.719 --> 00:02:22.599 by the inhabitants a town. It is a pretty place 32 00:02:23.080 --> 00:02:27.759 and not unknown in the locality. It has a season 33 00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:30.560 and all that kind of thing. And it was during 34 00:02:30.599 --> 00:02:35.639 the season I was there, and one day a deputation 35 00:02:35.840 --> 00:02:39.520 of the inhabitants called on me at my lodgings to 36 00:02:39.680 --> 00:02:42.800 ask if I would lead the local cricket club to 37 00:02:42.840 --> 00:02:47.840 say victory. As I have said, my first impression was 38 00:02:47.879 --> 00:02:51.199 that they were mad, either that or else that they 39 00:02:51.240 --> 00:02:55.919 were playing it off on the unprotected stranger. I hinted 40 00:02:55.960 --> 00:03:01.199 so much to the deputation. The deputation smiled. The chief 41 00:03:01.240 --> 00:03:05.719 spokesman was the local barber. His name was Sapsworth. He 42 00:03:05.840 --> 00:03:10.000 explained that mister Wingrave had sent them there. Wingrave was 43 00:03:10.039 --> 00:03:13.759 the vicar we are up together, and he must have 44 00:03:13.879 --> 00:03:18.159 known quite well whereabouts my cricketing form came in. I've 45 00:03:18.199 --> 00:03:21.479 decided to crush the deputation before the thing went farther, 46 00:03:23.360 --> 00:03:25.639 to show you the sort of man you propose should 47 00:03:25.639 --> 00:03:28.639 captain you. I need only mention that it's more than 48 00:03:28.639 --> 00:03:31.560 fifteen years since I had a bat in my hand. 49 00:03:32.759 --> 00:03:35.919 But the admission did not crush them quite the other way. 50 00:03:36.520 --> 00:03:41.439 It opened the floodgates of their eloquence. That's nothing, mister 51 00:03:41.520 --> 00:03:45.719 Sapsworth cried, there's Hedges here. We've had to put him in. 52 00:03:46.680 --> 00:03:49.000 He don't even know the rules of the game, and 53 00:03:49.120 --> 00:03:53.639 he's just turned sixty one. I glanced at mister Hedges, 54 00:03:54.120 --> 00:03:58.159 thus frankly referred to. He was a smiling, red faced, 55 00:03:58.199 --> 00:04:02.360 bald headed old gentleman, who, if not considerable in height, 56 00:04:02.719 --> 00:04:06.120 was great in girth. He would certainly have turned the 57 00:04:06.159 --> 00:04:10.960 scale at sixteen stone. I felt that to cricketers who 58 00:04:10.960 --> 00:04:14.479 intended to play mister Hedges, any objections which I might 59 00:04:14.639 --> 00:04:18.720 urge would appear quite trivial. When is the match to 60 00:04:18.759 --> 00:04:24.199 be I asked, tomorrow? Was the startling reply. I was 61 00:04:24.240 --> 00:04:29.720 speechless that I, after fifteen years total abstention, should be 62 00:04:29.920 --> 00:04:32.800 asked to captain a team, the members of which were 63 00:04:32.959 --> 00:04:36.920 entire strangers to me, and of whose individual styles of 64 00:04:36.959 --> 00:04:40.560 play I had not the faintest notion in a match 65 00:04:40.639 --> 00:04:44.800 against an unknown foe at four and twenty hours notice 66 00:04:45.439 --> 00:04:49.879 was a little hard to credit. It was altogether too preposterous. 67 00:04:50.439 --> 00:04:53.199 I told them so. They could not be brought to 68 00:04:53.240 --> 00:04:56.600 see it. The end of it was that I agreed 69 00:04:56.639 --> 00:05:00.439 to play. No man knows to what ad depth of 70 00:05:00.519 --> 00:05:05.800 folly he can sink until he tries and of Chapter 71 00:05:05.920 --> 00:05:15.720 one of a substitute, Section thirty one of Amusement Only. 72 00:05:16.439 --> 00:05:20.920 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in 73 00:05:21.000 --> 00:05:25.959 the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please 74 00:05:26.079 --> 00:05:33.720 visit LibriVox dot org. Recording by Kevin Alex. Amusement Only 75 00:05:34.240 --> 00:05:38.519 by Richard marsh a substitute. The Story of My Last 76 00:05:38.680 --> 00:05:46.040 Cricket Match. Chapter two, Mister Benyon bowls. The match was 77 00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:50.199 to be played on mister Stubbs Field. Mister Stubbs was 78 00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:54.879 a local butcher. Mister Sapsworth had kindly promised to come 79 00:05:55.040 --> 00:05:58.639 and escort me to the scene of action. He arrived 80 00:05:58.680 --> 00:06:01.759 at half past nine, just as I was opening my 81 00:06:01.879 --> 00:06:05.560 morning's letters. On the way he gave me a chart 82 00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:08.759 of the country. It appeared that in batting we were 83 00:06:08.800 --> 00:06:12.759 not strong. In fielding we were weak, and that our 84 00:06:12.839 --> 00:06:16.720 bowling was more than shaky. But we shall pull through, 85 00:06:16.959 --> 00:06:20.920 mister Sapsworth added, especially now, and he glanced at me. 86 00:06:22.319 --> 00:06:25.199 I hope you are under no delusion as to my powers, 87 00:06:25.199 --> 00:06:30.240 mister Sapsworth. I never was a first rate cricketer, and 88 00:06:30.600 --> 00:06:33.319 as I have already told you, it is more than 89 00:06:33.439 --> 00:06:38.160 fifteen years since I handled the bat. If you'll excuse 90 00:06:38.240 --> 00:06:42.000 my saying so, sir, I've generally noticed that them who 91 00:06:42.040 --> 00:06:45.959 doesn't say much does a deal. That was one way 92 00:06:45.959 --> 00:06:48.639 of looking at it, no doubt. But if I did 93 00:06:48.680 --> 00:06:51.360 a deal, I could only say that would be a 94 00:06:51.439 --> 00:06:55.920 pleasant surprise to me and our opponents. What sort of 95 00:06:55.959 --> 00:06:59.759 a team are they? Mister Sapsworth turned up his nose, 96 00:07:00.600 --> 00:07:05.160 not metaphorically, but as a matter of fact. If we're bad, 97 00:07:05.240 --> 00:07:09.680 he said, there was There's only one thing I've ever 98 00:07:09.759 --> 00:07:13.319 seen those Latchmere blokes much good at and that is cheating. 99 00:07:14.279 --> 00:07:16.839 You'll have to keep a sharp eye on them, or 100 00:07:16.839 --> 00:07:19.879 they'll have all our chaps out when they ain't, and 101 00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:23.480 they won't go out themselves, not even when you've bowled 102 00:07:23.519 --> 00:07:28.040 their three stumps down all of a row. Surely, I suggested, 103 00:07:28.560 --> 00:07:31.839 those sort of questions are for the umpires to decide. 104 00:07:32.160 --> 00:07:37.199 Umpires up, went mister Sapsworth knows again they bring their 105 00:07:37.199 --> 00:07:40.759 own umpire, and he's got his own ideas of umpiring 106 00:07:40.839 --> 00:07:43.920 he has. But we've got our own umpire as well 107 00:07:43.959 --> 00:07:50.519 as them. I said nothing, but mister Sapsworth's words conveyed 108 00:07:50.519 --> 00:07:54.279 to my mind pleasant impressions of the strict rigor of 109 00:07:54.360 --> 00:07:57.759 the game. When we arrived there was a goodly gathering 110 00:07:57.839 --> 00:08:01.959 already assembled in mister stubbs field. A tent was erected 111 00:08:02.480 --> 00:08:05.000 in and about it was a nondescript collection of men 112 00:08:05.040 --> 00:08:09.360 and boys, some forty or fifty others, availing themselves of 113 00:08:09.399 --> 00:08:13.879 the opportunity afforded them for a little practice for actually 114 00:08:13.920 --> 00:08:16.920 disporting themselves on the pitch on which we were presently 115 00:08:17.000 --> 00:08:20.839 to play. I consoled myself with the reflection that the 116 00:08:20.839 --> 00:08:23.920 worse the ground was, the more my bowling would tell 117 00:08:24.839 --> 00:08:29.920 mister Sapsworth introduced me to the crowd en masse. Several 118 00:08:29.959 --> 00:08:33.879 persons touched their caps to me, Others nodded their heads. 119 00:08:34.600 --> 00:08:39.159 Some grinned, good morning, gentlemen. We're going to have a 120 00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:43.519 fine day for our match. Our team all here, mister 121 00:08:43.600 --> 00:08:47.480 Sapsworth took upon himself to answer. He had been searching 122 00:08:47.480 --> 00:08:51.600 about him with his eyes. They're here, all right. I 123 00:08:51.679 --> 00:08:56.200 suppose those Latchmere chaps ain't come yet. They had not come, 124 00:08:56.840 --> 00:08:59.080 and they did not come for an hour or more. 125 00:09:00.279 --> 00:09:04.080 I employed the interval in becoming acquainted with the individual members, 126 00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:08.360 arranging the order of going in and their positions in 127 00:09:08.399 --> 00:09:13.360 the field. Matters in appearance, simple enough, but more difficult 128 00:09:13.399 --> 00:09:17.360 in practice. But at last the preliminaries were settled somehow, 129 00:09:17.919 --> 00:09:22.240 and the Latchmere men appeared upon the ground. Their captain 130 00:09:22.440 --> 00:09:26.919 coming up, was introduced to me. I was informed afterwards 131 00:09:26.919 --> 00:09:30.080 that he was a blacksmith. I thought he was by 132 00:09:30.080 --> 00:09:33.320 the way in which he grasped my hand. His opening 133 00:09:33.360 --> 00:09:37.039 speech was a little surprising. We ain't going to play 134 00:09:37.080 --> 00:09:40.519 you if you've got eleven men, you know, I inquired 135 00:09:40.559 --> 00:09:44.399 into his meaning. We've only got ten, he said, and 136 00:09:44.559 --> 00:09:49.799 one of them's soft Sawny and another's Sprouts. I did 137 00:09:49.799 --> 00:09:51.840 not know if those were the correct names of the 138 00:09:51.919 --> 00:09:55.440 gentlemen referred to, or only fancy ones by which they 139 00:09:55.440 --> 00:09:58.320 were known to their friends. But he laid his hand 140 00:09:58.360 --> 00:10:01.240 on two of his followers and hauled them to the front. 141 00:10:02.120 --> 00:10:05.360 One was a long, weedy youth who, once saw at 142 00:10:05.399 --> 00:10:08.960 a glance, was more than half an imbecile, and the 143 00:10:09.000 --> 00:10:12.200 other was a portly old gentleman of fifty five or six, 144 00:10:12.679 --> 00:10:18.960 with a corporation like a barrel. Mister Sapsworth intervened. What's that, 145 00:10:19.120 --> 00:10:24.000 he cried, We've got Hedges. He brought mister Hedges forward. 146 00:10:24.840 --> 00:10:27.360 I could not but feel that, to say the least 147 00:10:27.360 --> 00:10:32.120 of it, mister Hedges balanced mister Sprouts. If mister Hedges 148 00:10:32.159 --> 00:10:35.039 could run more than a dozen yards without pausing to 149 00:10:35.080 --> 00:10:38.600 take breath. I was almost ready to express my willingness 150 00:10:38.879 --> 00:10:43.080 to eat my hat. But we've only got ten men, persisted, 151 00:10:43.159 --> 00:10:47.600 mister Barker. You'll only have to have ten if you 152 00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:50.320 think we're going to play against you, or eleven we 153 00:10:50.399 --> 00:10:52.840 won't play you at all. So that's all about it. 154 00:10:53.840 --> 00:10:58.320 There was a prospect of unpleasantness even before the match began. 155 00:10:59.080 --> 00:11:01.320 It seemed that one of us would have to retire, 156 00:11:01.840 --> 00:11:07.639 and satisfaction of mister Barker's rather unjustifiable demand, I was 157 00:11:07.679 --> 00:11:12.159 about to retire myself, for I instinctively felt that as 158 00:11:12.159 --> 00:11:15.720 a captain, I was no match for mister Barker. When 159 00:11:15.759 --> 00:11:20.399 a rather curious incident occurred. On a sudden, a newcomer 160 00:11:20.399 --> 00:11:24.080 appeared upon the scene. I say on a sudden, for 161 00:11:24.120 --> 00:11:27.080 no one had noticed his approach, and yet all at 162 00:11:27.120 --> 00:11:31.799 once there he was, standing between the latchmere Captain and myself. 163 00:11:32.840 --> 00:11:35.759 To me, at any rate, his presence was so unexpected, 164 00:11:36.200 --> 00:11:40.799 and indeed so startling, that I stared. He seemed to 165 00:11:40.840 --> 00:11:44.559 have come out of space. He was a big, burly 166 00:11:44.600 --> 00:11:50.480 fellow with smooth cheeks, round face, bullet shaped head, and 167 00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:55.639 sleepy looking black eyes. Let me play for you, he said. 168 00:11:56.360 --> 00:11:59.480 For a moment, mister Barker stared at the stranger in surprise, 169 00:12:00.120 --> 00:12:02.960 in common with the rest of us. Then he jumped 170 00:12:02.960 --> 00:12:08.000 at the offer. Let you rather. He thrust out his 171 00:12:08.159 --> 00:12:11.759 hand and caught the stranger's palm in his But no 172 00:12:11.919 --> 00:12:14.600 sooner had he got it firmly gripped, than he dropped 173 00:12:14.600 --> 00:12:18.120 it with an exclamation. Why, what's the matter with you? 174 00:12:18.679 --> 00:12:22.399 Ain't you well? Your hand's as cold as a frozen corpse. 175 00:12:23.559 --> 00:12:27.360 I went a little aside with mister Sapsworth. Who is he, 176 00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:31.679 I asked, I don't know, and yet I seem somehow 177 00:12:31.720 --> 00:12:35.360 to have seen his face before. But let them have him. 178 00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:38.080 He doesn't look as though he were up too much. 179 00:12:39.279 --> 00:12:42.840 He did not anyone looking less like a cricketer I 180 00:12:42.879 --> 00:12:47.480 have seldom seen. His costume was ridiculous. He had on 181 00:12:47.519 --> 00:12:51.039 a pair of large checked trousers, a check of the 182 00:12:51.159 --> 00:12:54.840 kind which the Oxford tailor explained to the undergraduate was 183 00:12:54.879 --> 00:12:58.320 a lee till too large to be seen to advantage 184 00:12:58.360 --> 00:13:02.039 on a single pair of understandings. He had on a 185 00:13:02.159 --> 00:13:04.799 huge top hat of a size and shape which have 186 00:13:04.879 --> 00:13:08.919 made the fortune of a lion comique. A red woolen 187 00:13:08.960 --> 00:13:13.039 muffler was wound several times round his neck, and his 188 00:13:13.200 --> 00:13:17.799 capacious person was enveloped in an enormous overcoat, the like 189 00:13:17.919 --> 00:13:21.600 which I had never seen before. The day promised to 190 00:13:21.679 --> 00:13:25.120 remind us of the torrid zone. Yet mister Barker had 191 00:13:25.159 --> 00:13:29.159 cried out that the stranger's hand felt cold. In the 192 00:13:29.240 --> 00:13:32.879 toss for innings, victory fell to us, so we went in. 193 00:13:33.519 --> 00:13:37.200 I led the van My associate was a youth named Fenning. 194 00:13:37.960 --> 00:13:40.080 He was a mere lad and looked too much of 195 00:13:40.120 --> 00:13:43.399 a lout to be much of a cricketer. Mister Barker 196 00:13:43.519 --> 00:13:46.200 led the bowling. I soon saw that if he had 197 00:13:46.240 --> 00:13:49.120 any strength, it was not as a bowler. If I 198 00:13:49.200 --> 00:13:52.200 kept my head, I told myself, and he carried away 199 00:13:52.279 --> 00:13:55.679 my bales, it would be owing to the ground for 200 00:13:55.759 --> 00:13:58.720 a rougher piece of turf. I suppose few wickets have 201 00:13:58.799 --> 00:14:02.159 been pitched upon, but I was far too nervous to 202 00:14:02.200 --> 00:14:05.519 take liberties even with mister Barker. And indeed, when the 203 00:14:05.559 --> 00:14:09.399 first over was finished, I found myself still in I 204 00:14:09.480 --> 00:14:13.679 drew a long breath of self congratulation. The other bowler 205 00:14:13.879 --> 00:14:17.240 was in his own line, as meritorious a specimen as 206 00:14:17.240 --> 00:14:20.519 his captain. So on the whole things were going better 207 00:14:20.559 --> 00:14:24.279 than I had expected. I had scored eleven six off 208 00:14:24.360 --> 00:14:28.759 mister Barker and the rest off his friend. Even Fenning 209 00:14:28.799 --> 00:14:32.279 had hit up two, literally hit up. I was really 210 00:14:32.320 --> 00:14:35.000 beginning to think that I was getting set, which in 211 00:14:35.080 --> 00:14:39.039 my palmiest days had only happened once thrice. Happy day 212 00:14:39.799 --> 00:14:42.639 when something took place which showed me not for the 213 00:14:42.639 --> 00:14:46.919 first time the advisability of never counting your chickens till 214 00:14:46.960 --> 00:14:50.480 the eggs are hatched. Mister Barker was just about to 215 00:14:50.480 --> 00:14:53.240 commence an over He actually had the ball in his 216 00:14:53.320 --> 00:14:57.360 hand when the substitute, the stranger who had volunteered to 217 00:14:57.360 --> 00:15:00.440 fill the place of the eleventh man, came march right 218 00:15:00.480 --> 00:15:04.639 across the field. Mister Barker saw him coming and called 219 00:15:04.679 --> 00:15:08.159 out to him to stay where he was, but wholly unheeding, 220 00:15:08.480 --> 00:15:12.639 the substitute strode on. He reached mister Barker, and without 221 00:15:12.639 --> 00:15:15.639 saying a word, so far as I could perceive, he 222 00:15:15.799 --> 00:15:19.200 coolly held out his hand for the ball. I fully 223 00:15:19.279 --> 00:15:24.039 expected that the Latchmere captain would remonstrate, and not only remonstrate, 224 00:15:24.399 --> 00:15:29.639 but remonstrate strongly. But to my surprise, he instantly surrendered 225 00:15:29.639 --> 00:15:32.720 the ball and slunk rather than walked, to the place 226 00:15:32.759 --> 00:15:36.840 which the stranger had just quitted. So the substitute was 227 00:15:36.960 --> 00:15:41.039 left the ball. Without doubt, he was an eccentric character. 228 00:15:41.799 --> 00:15:43.679 Up to that moment, he had been fielding in his 229 00:15:43.759 --> 00:15:47.799 woolen muffler, his overcoat, and last but not least, his 230 00:15:47.960 --> 00:15:52.399 wonderful top hat. These, however, he now doffed and laid 231 00:15:52.440 --> 00:15:56.360 in a heap upon the ground. Their disappearance revealed the 232 00:15:56.360 --> 00:15:59.120 fact that he wore a tight fitting jacket which was 233 00:15:59.159 --> 00:16:02.600 the same wonder full pattern in checks as his trousers. 234 00:16:03.679 --> 00:16:06.600 From the look of him, I certainly never supposed that 235 00:16:06.679 --> 00:16:10.919 he could bowl. My surprise was therefore all the greater 236 00:16:11.080 --> 00:16:14.720 when I discovered that he could. His action was peculiar. 237 00:16:15.320 --> 00:16:18.639 He went right up to the wicket and stood quite still, 238 00:16:19.120 --> 00:16:22.960 delivering the ball with a curious flourish of the wrist. 239 00:16:23.279 --> 00:16:26.759 Its pace was amazing. It pitched a good two feet 240 00:16:26.840 --> 00:16:30.399 to the off and broke right in, perhaps aided by 241 00:16:30.440 --> 00:16:33.879 the ground, though he certainly had found a spot. I 242 00:16:34.000 --> 00:16:37.399 was so astounded by the pace, which reminded me of 243 00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:40.440 the old stories told of Lily White. You could hear 244 00:16:40.480 --> 00:16:43.639 it humming in the air. That I never even moved 245 00:16:43.679 --> 00:16:47.320 my bat. It was that which saved me. As it 246 00:16:47.440 --> 00:16:49.679 was the bat was all but driven out of my hand. 247 00:16:50.679 --> 00:16:53.480 I told myself that on the arrival of a second edition, 248 00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:56.480 I should have to go. Yet I did manage to 249 00:16:56.480 --> 00:16:59.799 stop the next four balls. How I have not the 250 00:17:00.039 --> 00:17:03.600 ain't his notion, but the sixth, for it seemed that 251 00:17:03.639 --> 00:17:07.079 in those parts they bowled six to the over took 252 00:17:07.119 --> 00:17:09.680 my middle stump, breaking it clean off at the top. 253 00:17:10.720 --> 00:17:14.400 As I entered the tent, the scorer cried out, what name? 254 00:17:15.519 --> 00:17:20.200 Tom Benyon? Replied the bowler. Mister Hedges, who was seated 255 00:17:20.240 --> 00:17:23.480 at the scorer's side, brought down his fist upon the 256 00:17:23.559 --> 00:17:27.319 trestle table with a bang. I knew it was, I 257 00:17:27.400 --> 00:17:30.759 knowed him all along. Mister Hedges was in a state 258 00:17:30.799 --> 00:17:34.759 of odd excitement. That chap who bowled you ain't a man, sir, 259 00:17:35.319 --> 00:17:38.839 He's a ghost. He manages to put a good deal 260 00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:41.240 of pace on the ball for a ghost, I answered, 261 00:17:42.039 --> 00:17:44.519 And so he ought to. Did you hear what name? 262 00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:48.200 He said? He said, Tom Benyon. There wasn't a better 263 00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:51.000 cricketer in all these parts than Tom Benyon used to be. 264 00:17:52.000 --> 00:17:54.400 He played up in London more than once, I know, 265 00:17:54.599 --> 00:17:57.920 and got well paid for playing too. But he always 266 00:17:58.079 --> 00:18:01.240 was a queer sort, was Tom. I knew him well. 267 00:18:01.680 --> 00:18:04.839 I saw him buried. And if it is him and 268 00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:07.799 not his ghost, he ain't grown a day older these 269 00:18:07.839 --> 00:18:12.279 twenty years, he ain't, I laughed. I suppose the old 270 00:18:12.319 --> 00:18:15.680 gentleman was jesting, but not a bit of it. When 271 00:18:15.680 --> 00:18:18.640 our second man had gone to the wicket, mister Sapsworth 272 00:18:18.720 --> 00:18:21.440 drew me aside. I don't like the look of this, 273 00:18:21.640 --> 00:18:26.599 he said, nor I, I answered, supposing referred to mister 274 00:18:26.640 --> 00:18:31.480 Benyon's bowling. He'll bring down her stumps like ninepins. It 275 00:18:31.559 --> 00:18:35.880 isn't that it it's the man, he said. Do you 276 00:18:35.960 --> 00:18:39.880 mean the ghost? I asked jokingly. It's easy to laugh. 277 00:18:40.039 --> 00:18:44.400 But mister Sapsworth paused. I could see he was ashamed 278 00:18:44.440 --> 00:18:48.119 of himself, yet he had suspicions none the less. I 279 00:18:48.200 --> 00:18:51.119 thought I had seen him before, and I had. It 280 00:18:51.359 --> 00:18:55.839 is Tom Benyon, he says. He is Tom Benyon, and 281 00:18:55.960 --> 00:19:00.880 I suppose he should know best. Yes, mister Sappsworth fidgeted, 282 00:19:01.359 --> 00:19:05.359 But Tom Benyon's been dead these twenty years dead, I 283 00:19:05.519 --> 00:19:08.839 cried and laughed. He showed himself too much alive for 284 00:19:08.960 --> 00:19:12.519 me at any rate. When I was a youngster, continued 285 00:19:12.519 --> 00:19:16.400 mister Sapsworth, Tom Benyon used to come into my father's 286 00:19:16.400 --> 00:19:19.680 shop to be shaved. He was always on the drink. 287 00:19:20.640 --> 00:19:23.319 One morning I was all alone minding the shop for 288 00:19:23.480 --> 00:19:27.799 father when he came in, mad drunk. I never shall 289 00:19:27.839 --> 00:19:31.200 forget that morning. Never. He made me sit in the 290 00:19:31.240 --> 00:19:34.880 shaving chair and set about the shave me. He soaked 291 00:19:34.920 --> 00:19:38.759 me all over face and hair, and all I was 292 00:19:38.759 --> 00:19:42.119 that there, frightened. I couldn't make a sound. I never 293 00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:44.920 shall forget how I sat and watched him, with the 294 00:19:44.960 --> 00:19:47.519 soap all in my eyes, as he put an edge 295 00:19:47.599 --> 00:19:51.279 upon the razor. Then he set about shaving off my hair. 296 00:19:51.839 --> 00:19:54.079 He got off about half of it, and I was 297 00:19:54.119 --> 00:19:57.160 streaming with blood. When who should come in but my father. 298 00:19:58.079 --> 00:20:00.359 If he hadn't, Tom Benyon would have made it end 299 00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:05.160 of me, he paused. I perceived that the mere recollection 300 00:20:05.279 --> 00:20:09.880 of his little adventure affected him unpleasantly. There was something 301 00:20:09.960 --> 00:20:13.559 queer about his death. Some people said it was drink 302 00:20:13.599 --> 00:20:16.400 had done for him. Some of em said he had 303 00:20:16.440 --> 00:20:20.920 done for himself. Anyhow, the whole countryside was at his funeral. 304 00:20:21.599 --> 00:20:24.720 I was there. I remember it as plainly as though 305 00:20:24.759 --> 00:20:28.720 it was yesterday. While I was looking at mister Sapsworth 306 00:20:28.839 --> 00:20:32.000 and pondering his words, there came the sound of laughter 307 00:20:32.039 --> 00:20:34.519 from the middle of the ground. It was not a 308 00:20:34.599 --> 00:20:39.079 loud laugh, but it was a distinctly disagreeable one. I 309 00:20:39.160 --> 00:20:43.839 looked round. Mister Benyon was laughing at mister Fennings's discomfiture. 310 00:20:44.799 --> 00:20:47.119 He had served him as he had served me. He 311 00:20:47.160 --> 00:20:49.680 had taken his middle stump right out of the ground. 312 00:20:50.160 --> 00:20:56.599 I turned to mister Sapsworth, you follow me. Mister Sapsworth 313 00:20:56.680 --> 00:21:00.880 turned several shades wider me. He looked about him with 314 00:21:00.920 --> 00:21:07.759 a frightened air. Mister trentam I can't. He said, nonsense, Sapsworth, 315 00:21:08.440 --> 00:21:10.039 you don't mean to say that you are going to 316 00:21:10.079 --> 00:21:13.400 allow yourself to be frightened by any nonsense about a ghost. 317 00:21:13.720 --> 00:21:17.759 And in broad daylight two the little man did not look, 318 00:21:17.839 --> 00:21:21.839 by any means reassured by my tone of derision. He 319 00:21:21.920 --> 00:21:24.519 seemed more inclined to take to his heels than to 320 00:21:24.559 --> 00:21:28.200 take his place at the wickets. It is not impossible 321 00:21:28.279 --> 00:21:30.160 that he might have done so had he not been 322 00:21:30.160 --> 00:21:35.200 addressed from a different quarter, Bob Sapsworth. It was mister 323 00:21:35.240 --> 00:21:38.160 Benyon calling to the little barber right across the field, 324 00:21:38.920 --> 00:21:43.559 come and be shaved. I own that I myself was startled. 325 00:21:44.519 --> 00:21:46.880 The words were opposite, to say the least of it. 326 00:21:47.400 --> 00:21:50.720 We had just been speaking of mister sapsworth experience of 327 00:21:50.759 --> 00:21:54.640 the shaver's art as practiced by mister Benyon's hands. And 328 00:21:54.720 --> 00:21:58.440 here was mister Benyon's namesake, inviting him, if not to 329 00:21:58.480 --> 00:22:02.640 be cut, at least to cut again on mister Sapsworth. 330 00:22:02.680 --> 00:22:06.200 The effect of the imitation was surprising. He had on 331 00:22:06.279 --> 00:22:10.480 his pads, his bat was in his hand. Without a word, 332 00:22:10.559 --> 00:22:14.039 he shuffled towards the stumps. If I ever saw a 333 00:22:14.119 --> 00:22:16.880 man go to the wickets in a state of mortal funk, 334 00:22:17.440 --> 00:22:22.000 I saw him. Then I myself moved towards the scoring tent. 335 00:22:23.079 --> 00:22:25.519 The state of things within it at once oppressed me 336 00:22:25.559 --> 00:22:29.160 as peculiar. It had been filled a little time ago 337 00:22:29.279 --> 00:22:33.880 with jovial faces. Now the owners of those faces might 338 00:22:33.920 --> 00:22:37.160 have been attendants at a funeral, And many a man 339 00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:40.640 has had a livelier following to the grave than I 340 00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:45.359 saw assembled. Then Fenning came shambling into the tent. I 341 00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:49.279 spoke to him, mister Benyon's bowling was too much for you, 342 00:22:49.359 --> 00:22:53.920 eh Fenning, Unless I am mistaken. Mister Fenning wiped a 343 00:22:53.960 --> 00:22:56.359 tear out of his eye. He certainly put up his 344 00:22:56.440 --> 00:22:59.680 hand and rubbed the optic with his knuckles. I never 345 00:22:59.720 --> 00:23:03.599 see eat such bowling. Tain't fair, he said, What is 346 00:23:03.640 --> 00:23:07.839 there unfair about it? Fenning? It comes so sharp. I 347 00:23:07.920 --> 00:23:10.400 never seed the ball before there was my wickets down, 348 00:23:11.519 --> 00:23:16.160 I smiled. Not so the company they regarded mister Fenning's words. 349 00:23:16.200 --> 00:23:20.759 With different eyes, mister Hedges gave expression to the general opinion. 350 00:23:21.799 --> 00:23:24.920 You ain't never seen such bowling afore, and you won't 351 00:23:24.920 --> 00:23:29.079 never see such bowling again, because why because it's a 352 00:23:29.079 --> 00:23:33.240 ghost that's bowling, not a man. Mister Fenning looked about 353 00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:36.160 him with open eyes and with open mouth as well. 354 00:23:36.960 --> 00:23:44.559 A ghost, he mumbled. A ghost, said mister Hedges. I expostulated, Come, 355 00:23:44.640 --> 00:23:48.480 mister Hedges, you frighten the lad. I am surprised too, 356 00:23:48.680 --> 00:23:51.599 that a man of your age and experience and wisdom 357 00:23:51.799 --> 00:23:56.000 should talk nonsense about ghosts. Mister Hedges looked up at 358 00:23:56.000 --> 00:23:59.680 me a little sharply. If he ain't a ghost, what's 359 00:23:59.680 --> 00:24:02.960 become of the things that he's took off? I asked 360 00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:07.039 him what he meant. He pointed across the ground. He 361 00:24:07.079 --> 00:24:09.680 took off his hat and his coat and his scarf, 362 00:24:10.160 --> 00:24:13.240 and he laid him on the grass. He ain't touched them, 363 00:24:13.799 --> 00:24:17.119 and no one ain't took them yet. They're gone. We 364 00:24:17.240 --> 00:24:20.640 saw them go. If he ain't a ghost, what's become 365 00:24:20.680 --> 00:24:24.079 of the things that he's took off? Mister Hedges grew 366 00:24:24.119 --> 00:24:27.200 a little excited. I looked in the direction in which 367 00:24:27.240 --> 00:24:31.160 the old gentleman was pointing. The garments referred to had 368 00:24:31.200 --> 00:24:35.559 apparently vanished, but of course their disappearance was susceptible of 369 00:24:35.640 --> 00:24:40.079 a most natural explanation. I should have maintained this proposition 370 00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:42.799 with more confidence had it not been for something which 371 00:24:42.839 --> 00:24:47.359 immediately occurred. Mister Benyon was preparing to deliver his first 372 00:24:47.359 --> 00:24:50.599 ball to mister Sapsworth, and as I eyed him, I 373 00:24:50.720 --> 00:24:55.119 noted the extremely unworkmanlike attitude in which mister Sapsworth awaited 374 00:24:55.160 --> 00:25:00.720 the delivery. Preparatory to delivering the ball, mister Benyon divested 375 00:25:00.759 --> 00:25:04.799 himself of his remarkable coat, which matched his trousers, and 376 00:25:04.920 --> 00:25:09.319 in so doing disclosed a waistcoat which matched his coat. 377 00:25:09.920 --> 00:25:12.799 Neatly folding up the garment, he laid it beside him 378 00:25:12.839 --> 00:25:16.039 on the ground. No sooner did it touch the ground 379 00:25:16.039 --> 00:25:19.720 than it disappeared. I am unable to say how, but 380 00:25:19.839 --> 00:25:22.359 it did, and that before the eyes of all the 381 00:25:22.400 --> 00:25:26.000 lookers on this singular behavior on the part of that 382 00:25:26.079 --> 00:25:30.039 curious garment took me by surprise. After that, I was 383 00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:33.000 prepared to excuse a certain amount of nervousness on the 384 00:25:33.039 --> 00:25:37.880 part of mister Sapsworth to mister Benyon, mister Sapsworth's nervousness 385 00:25:37.880 --> 00:25:41.759 seemed to afford positive pleasure. He cried in a tone 386 00:25:41.759 --> 00:25:46.160 which was perhaps meant to be jovial. Now, Bob Sapsworth 387 00:25:46.400 --> 00:25:50.119 prepared to be shaved. The ball went from his hand 388 00:25:50.200 --> 00:25:54.640 like lightning, mister Sapsworth yelled. Mister Benyon sent down his 389 00:25:54.720 --> 00:25:59.480 second ball, whack not against the bat, but I should say, 390 00:25:59.759 --> 00:26:02.359 as as nearly as possible, against the same portion of 391 00:26:02.440 --> 00:26:06.960 mister Sapsworth's frame which it had struck before. Any cricketer 392 00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:10.960 might have been demoralized after receiving two such blows, but 393 00:26:11.039 --> 00:26:12.839 he would at least have tried to get out of 394 00:26:12.839 --> 00:26:15.839 the way of the ball instead of in it. Mister 395 00:26:15.880 --> 00:26:18.880 Sapsworth placed his person exactly where the ball might be 396 00:26:18.920 --> 00:26:23.119 expected to come, and for once in a way, expectation 397 00:26:23.319 --> 00:26:28.000 was realized. It did come. The third, fourth and fifth 398 00:26:28.039 --> 00:26:32.480 balls found an exactly similar billet, and the sixth not 399 00:26:32.519 --> 00:26:35.720 only knocked his bat out of his trembling hands, but 400 00:26:35.839 --> 00:26:38.480 all three of his stumps clean out of the ground. 401 00:26:39.759 --> 00:26:43.599