Speaker 1: Section thirty of Amusement Only. This is a LibriVox recording.
Speaker 1: All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more
Speaker 1: information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording
Speaker 1: by Kevin Alex. Amusement Only by Richard marsh a substitute.
Speaker 1: The Story of My Last cricket Match. Chapter one. I
Speaker 1: am appointed captain. I have some idea of cricket, not
Speaker 1: much perhaps, but I certainly have some. I was not
Speaker 1: in the varsity team, nor near it, but I played
Speaker 1: in the freshman's match and provided myself with spectacles. I
Speaker 1: was nearly in the school team once. That was when
Speaker 1: I carried my bat for forty five. I must own
Speaker 1: that my performance was a surprise to everyone and to
Speaker 1: myself among the rest that as I never repeated it
Speaker 1: or anything like it, they left me very wisely out
Speaker 1: of the eleven. Thus it will be seen that from
Speaker 1: a cricketing point of view, I did not, even in
Speaker 1: my best days, come up to first rate form, and
Speaker 1: in my best days were reckoning from last summer quite
Speaker 1: fifteen years ago. During those fifteen years, I do not
Speaker 1: remember once handling a bat, far less hitting at a
Speaker 1: cricket ball with one. And yet in this state of unpreparedness,
Speaker 1: I had the presumption last summer to captain a team
Speaker 1: and to lead them on well, not to victory, but
Speaker 1: to disgrace. It's a fact. The match was Storwell versus Latchmere.
Speaker 1: Storwell was my team, and as I do not think
Speaker 1: a more remark arkable match was ever known in the
Speaker 1: whole annals of cricketing history, I here venture to report it.
Speaker 1: When they first asked me to play, I thought they
Speaker 1: were mad. Storwell on Sea is a village on the
Speaker 1: south coast. I beg pardon, I believe it is called
Speaker 1: by the inhabitants a town. It is a pretty place
Speaker 1: and not unknown in the locality. It has a season
Speaker 1: and all that kind of thing. And it was during
Speaker 1: the season I was there, and one day a deputation
Speaker 1: of the inhabitants called on me at my lodgings to
Speaker 1: ask if I would lead the local cricket club to
Speaker 1: say victory. As I have said, my first impression was
Speaker 1: that they were mad, either that or else that they
Speaker 1: were playing it off on the unprotected stranger. I hinted
Speaker 1: so much to the deputation. The deputation smiled. The chief
Speaker 1: spokesman was the local barber. His name was Sapsworth. He
Speaker 1: explained that mister Wingrave had sent them there. Wingrave was
Speaker 1: the vicar we are up together, and he must have
Speaker 1: known quite well whereabouts my cricketing form came in. I've
Speaker 1: decided to crush the deputation before the thing went farther,
Speaker 1: to show you the sort of man you propose should
Speaker 1: captain you. I need only mention that it's more than
Speaker 1: fifteen years since I had a bat in my hand.
Speaker 1: But the admission did not crush them quite the other way.
Speaker 1: It opened the floodgates of their eloquence. That's nothing, mister
Speaker 1: Sapsworth cried, there's Hedges here. We've had to put him in.
Speaker 1: He don't even know the rules of the game, and
Speaker 1: he's just turned sixty one. I glanced at mister Hedges,
Speaker 1: thus frankly referred to. He was a smiling, red faced,
Speaker 1: bald headed old gentleman, who, if not considerable in height,
Speaker 1: was great in girth. He would certainly have turned the
Speaker 1: scale at sixteen stone. I felt that to cricketers who
Speaker 1: intended to play mister Hedges, any objections which I might
Speaker 1: urge would appear quite trivial. When is the match to
Speaker 1: be I asked, tomorrow? Was the startling reply. I was
Speaker 1: speechless that I, after fifteen years total abstention, should be
Speaker 1: asked to captain a team, the members of which were
Speaker 1: entire strangers to me, and of whose individual styles of
Speaker 1: play I had not the faintest notion in a match
Speaker 1: against an unknown foe at four and twenty hours notice
Speaker 1: was a little hard to credit. It was altogether too preposterous.
Speaker 1: I told them so. They could not be brought to
Speaker 1: see it. The end of it was that I agreed
Speaker 1: to play. No man knows to what ad depth of
Speaker 1: folly he can sink until he tries and of Chapter
Speaker 1: one of a substitute, Section thirty one of Amusement Only.
Speaker 1: This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in
Speaker 1: the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please
Speaker 1: visit LibriVox dot org. Recording by Kevin Alex. Amusement Only
Speaker 1: by Richard marsh a substitute. The Story of My Last
Speaker 1: Cricket Match. Chapter two, Mister Benyon bowls. The match was
Speaker 1: to be played on mister Stubbs Field. Mister Stubbs was
Speaker 1: a local butcher. Mister Sapsworth had kindly promised to come
Speaker 1: and escort me to the scene of action. He arrived
Speaker 1: at half past nine, just as I was opening my
Speaker 1: morning's letters. On the way he gave me a chart
Speaker 1: of the country. It appeared that in batting we were
Speaker 1: not strong. In fielding we were weak, and that our
Speaker 1: bowling was more than shaky. But we shall pull through,
Speaker 1: mister Sapsworth added, especially now, and he glanced at me.
Speaker 1: I hope you are under no delusion as to my powers,
Speaker 1: mister Sapsworth. I never was a first rate cricketer, and
Speaker 1: as I have already told you, it is more than
Speaker 1: fifteen years since I handled the bat. If you'll excuse
Speaker 1: my saying so, sir, I've generally noticed that them who
Speaker 1: doesn't say much does a deal. That was one way
Speaker 1: of looking at it, no doubt. But if I did
Speaker 1: a deal, I could only say that would be a
Speaker 1: pleasant surprise to me and our opponents. What sort of
Speaker 1: a team are they? Mister Sapsworth turned up his nose,
Speaker 1: not metaphorically, but as a matter of fact. If we're bad,
Speaker 1: he said, there was There's only one thing I've ever
Speaker 1: seen those Latchmere blokes much good at and that is cheating.
Speaker 1: You'll have to keep a sharp eye on them, or
Speaker 1: they'll have all our chaps out when they ain't, and
Speaker 1: they won't go out themselves, not even when you've bowled
Speaker 1: their three stumps down all of a row. Surely, I suggested,
Speaker 1: those sort of questions are for the umpires to decide.
Speaker 1: Umpires up, went mister Sapsworth knows again they bring their
Speaker 1: own umpire, and he's got his own ideas of umpiring
Speaker 1: he has. But we've got our own umpire as well
Speaker 1: as them. I said nothing, but mister Sapsworth's words conveyed
Speaker 1: to my mind pleasant impressions of the strict rigor of
Speaker 1: the game. When we arrived there was a goodly gathering
Speaker 1: already assembled in mister stubbs field. A tent was erected
Speaker 1: in and about it was a nondescript collection of men
Speaker 1: and boys, some forty or fifty others, availing themselves of
Speaker 1: the opportunity afforded them for a little practice for actually
Speaker 1: disporting themselves on the pitch on which we were presently
Speaker 1: to play. I consoled myself with the reflection that the
Speaker 1: worse the ground was, the more my bowling would tell
Speaker 1: mister Sapsworth introduced me to the crowd en masse. Several
Speaker 1: persons touched their caps to me, Others nodded their heads.
Speaker 1: Some grinned, good morning, gentlemen. We're going to have a
Speaker 1: fine day for our match. Our team all here, mister
Speaker 1: Sapsworth took upon himself to answer. He had been searching
Speaker 1: about him with his eyes. They're here, all right. I
Speaker 1: suppose those Latchmere chaps ain't come yet. They had not come,
Speaker 1: and they did not come for an hour or more.
Speaker 1: I employed the interval in becoming acquainted with the individual members,
Speaker 1: arranging the order of going in and their positions in
Speaker 1: the field. Matters in appearance, simple enough, but more difficult
Speaker 1: in practice. But at last the preliminaries were settled somehow,
Speaker 1: and the Latchmere men appeared upon the ground. Their captain
Speaker 1: coming up, was introduced to me. I was informed afterwards
Speaker 1: that he was a blacksmith. I thought he was by
Speaker 1: the way in which he grasped my hand. His opening
Speaker 1: speech was a little surprising. We ain't going to play
Speaker 1: you if you've got eleven men, you know, I inquired
Speaker 1: into his meaning. We've only got ten, he said, and
Speaker 1: one of them's soft Sawny and another's Sprouts. I did
Speaker 1: not know if those were the correct names of the
Speaker 1: gentlemen referred to, or only fancy ones by which they
Speaker 1: were known to their friends. But he laid his hand
Speaker 1: on two of his followers and hauled them to the front.
Speaker 1: One was a long, weedy youth who, once saw at
Speaker 1: a glance, was more than half an imbecile, and the
Speaker 1: other was a portly old gentleman of fifty five or six,
Speaker 1: with a corporation like a barrel. Mister Sapsworth intervened. What's that,
Speaker 1: he cried, We've got Hedges. He brought mister Hedges forward.
Speaker 1: I could not but feel that, to say the least
Speaker 1: of it, mister Hedges balanced mister Sprouts. If mister Hedges
Speaker 1: could run more than a dozen yards without pausing to
Speaker 1: take breath. I was almost ready to express my willingness
Speaker 1: to eat my hat. But we've only got ten men, persisted,
Speaker 1: mister Barker. You'll only have to have ten if you
Speaker 1: think we're going to play against you, or eleven we
Speaker 1: won't play you at all. So that's all about it.
Speaker 1: There was a prospect of unpleasantness even before the match began.
Speaker 1: It seemed that one of us would have to retire,
Speaker 1: and satisfaction of mister Barker's rather unjustifiable demand, I was
Speaker 1: about to retire myself, for I instinctively felt that as
Speaker 1: a captain, I was no match for mister Barker. When
Speaker 1: a rather curious incident occurred. On a sudden, a newcomer
Speaker 1: appeared upon the scene. I say on a sudden, for
Speaker 1: no one had noticed his approach, and yet all at
Speaker 1: once there he was, standing between the latchmere Captain and myself.
Speaker 1: To me, at any rate, his presence was so unexpected,
Speaker 1: and indeed so startling, that I stared. He seemed to
Speaker 1: have come out of space. He was a big, burly
Speaker 1: fellow with smooth cheeks, round face, bullet shaped head, and
Speaker 1: sleepy looking black eyes. Let me play for you, he said.
Speaker 1: For a moment, mister Barker stared at the stranger in surprise,
Speaker 1: in common with the rest of us. Then he jumped
Speaker 1: at the offer. Let you rather. He thrust out his
Speaker 1: hand and caught the stranger's palm in his But no
Speaker 1: sooner had he got it firmly gripped, than he dropped
Speaker 1: it with an exclamation. Why, what's the matter with you?
Speaker 1: Ain't you well? Your hand's as cold as a frozen corpse.
Speaker 1: I went a little aside with mister Sapsworth. Who is he,
Speaker 1: I asked, I don't know, and yet I seem somehow
Speaker 1: to have seen his face before. But let them have him.
Speaker 1: He doesn't look as though he were up too much.
Speaker 1: He did not anyone looking less like a cricketer I
Speaker 1: have seldom seen. His costume was ridiculous. He had on
Speaker 1: a pair of large checked trousers, a check of the
Speaker 1: kind which the Oxford tailor explained to the undergraduate was
Speaker 1: a lee till too large to be seen to advantage
Speaker 1: on a single pair of understandings. He had on a
Speaker 1: huge top hat of a size and shape which have
Speaker 1: made the fortune of a lion comique. A red woolen
Speaker 1: muffler was wound several times round his neck, and his
Speaker 1: capacious person was enveloped in an enormous overcoat, the like
Speaker 1: which I had never seen before. The day promised to
Speaker 1: remind us of the torrid zone. Yet mister Barker had
Speaker 1: cried out that the stranger's hand felt cold. In the
Speaker 1: toss for innings, victory fell to us, so we went in.
Speaker 1: I led the van My associate was a youth named Fenning.
Speaker 1: He was a mere lad and looked too much of
Speaker 1: a lout to be much of a cricketer. Mister Barker
Speaker 1: led the bowling. I soon saw that if he had
Speaker 1: any strength, it was not as a bowler. If I
Speaker 1: kept my head, I told myself, and he carried away
Speaker 1: my bales, it would be owing to the ground for
Speaker 1: a rougher piece of turf. I suppose few wickets have
Speaker 1: been pitched upon, but I was far too nervous to
Speaker 1: take liberties even with mister Barker. And indeed, when the
Speaker 1: first over was finished, I found myself still in I
Speaker 1: drew a long breath of self congratulation. The other bowler
Speaker 1: was in his own line, as meritorious a specimen as
Speaker 1: his captain. So on the whole things were going better
Speaker 1: than I had expected. I had scored eleven six off
Speaker 1: mister Barker and the rest off his friend. Even Fenning
Speaker 1: had hit up two, literally hit up. I was really
Speaker 1: beginning to think that I was getting set, which in
Speaker 1: my palmiest days had only happened once thrice. Happy day
Speaker 1: when something took place which showed me not for the
Speaker 1: first time the advisability of never counting your chickens till
Speaker 1: the eggs are hatched. Mister Barker was just about to
Speaker 1: commence an over He actually had the ball in his
Speaker 1: hand when the substitute, the stranger who had volunteered to
Speaker 1: fill the place of the eleventh man, came march right
Speaker 1: across the field. Mister Barker saw him coming and called
Speaker 1: out to him to stay where he was, but wholly unheeding,
Speaker 1: the substitute strode on. He reached mister Barker, and without
Speaker 1: saying a word, so far as I could perceive, he
Speaker 1: coolly held out his hand for the ball. I fully
Speaker 1: expected that the Latchmere captain would remonstrate, and not only remonstrate,
Speaker 1: but remonstrate strongly. But to my surprise, he instantly surrendered
Speaker 1: the ball and slunk rather than walked, to the place
Speaker 1: which the stranger had just quitted. So the substitute was
Speaker 1: left the ball. Without doubt, he was an eccentric character.
Speaker 1: Up to that moment, he had been fielding in his
Speaker 1: woolen muffler, his overcoat, and last but not least, his
Speaker 1: wonderful top hat. These, however, he now doffed and laid
Speaker 1: in a heap upon the ground. Their disappearance revealed the
Speaker 1: fact that he wore a tight fitting jacket which was
Speaker 1: the same wonder full pattern in checks as his trousers.
Speaker 1: From the look of him, I certainly never supposed that
Speaker 1: he could bowl. My surprise was therefore all the greater
Speaker 1: when I discovered that he could. His action was peculiar.
Speaker 1: He went right up to the wicket and stood quite still,
Speaker 1: delivering the ball with a curious flourish of the wrist.
Speaker 1: Its pace was amazing. It pitched a good two feet
Speaker 1: to the off and broke right in, perhaps aided by
Speaker 1: the ground, though he certainly had found a spot. I
Speaker 1: was so astounded by the pace, which reminded me of
Speaker 1: the old stories told of Lily White. You could hear
Speaker 1: it humming in the air. That I never even moved
Speaker 1: my bat. It was that which saved me. As it
Speaker 1: was the bat was all but driven out of my hand.
Speaker 1: I told myself that on the arrival of a second edition,
Speaker 1: I should have to go. Yet I did manage to
Speaker 1: stop the next four balls. How I have not the
Speaker 1: ain't his notion, but the sixth, for it seemed that
Speaker 1: in those parts they bowled six to the over took
Speaker 1: my middle stump, breaking it clean off at the top.
Speaker 1: As I entered the tent, the scorer cried out, what name?
Speaker 1: Tom Benyon? Replied the bowler. Mister Hedges, who was seated
Speaker 1: at the scorer's side, brought down his fist upon the
Speaker 1: trestle table with a bang. I knew it was, I
Speaker 1: knowed him all along. Mister Hedges was in a state
Speaker 1: of odd excitement. That chap who bowled you ain't a man, sir,
Speaker 1: He's a ghost. He manages to put a good deal
Speaker 1: of pace on the ball for a ghost, I answered,
Speaker 1: And so he ought to. Did you hear what name?
Speaker 1: He said? He said, Tom Benyon. There wasn't a better
Speaker 1: cricketer in all these parts than Tom Benyon used to be.
Speaker 1: He played up in London more than once, I know,
Speaker 1: and got well paid for playing too. But he always
Speaker 1: was a queer sort, was Tom. I knew him well.
Speaker 1: I saw him buried. And if it is him and
Speaker 1: not his ghost, he ain't grown a day older these
Speaker 1: twenty years, he ain't, I laughed. I suppose the old
Speaker 1: gentleman was jesting, but not a bit of it. When
Speaker 1: our second man had gone to the wicket, mister Sapsworth
Speaker 1: drew me aside. I don't like the look of this,
Speaker 1: he said, nor I, I answered, supposing referred to mister
Speaker 1: Benyon's bowling. He'll bring down her stumps like ninepins. It
Speaker 1: isn't that it it's the man, he said. Do you
Speaker 1: mean the ghost? I asked jokingly. It's easy to laugh.
Speaker 1: But mister Sapsworth paused. I could see he was ashamed
Speaker 1: of himself, yet he had suspicions none the less. I
Speaker 1: thought I had seen him before, and I had. It
Speaker 1: is Tom Benyon, he says. He is Tom Benyon, and
Speaker 1: I suppose he should know best. Yes, mister Sappsworth fidgeted,
Speaker 1: But Tom Benyon's been dead these twenty years dead, I
Speaker 1: cried and laughed. He showed himself too much alive for
Speaker 1: me at any rate. When I was a youngster, continued
Speaker 1: mister Sapsworth, Tom Benyon used to come into my father's
Speaker 1: shop to be shaved. He was always on the drink.
Speaker 1: One morning I was all alone minding the shop for
Speaker 1: father when he came in, mad drunk. I never shall
Speaker 1: forget that morning. Never. He made me sit in the
Speaker 1: shaving chair and set about the shave me. He soaked
Speaker 1: me all over face and hair, and all I was
Speaker 1: that there, frightened. I couldn't make a sound. I never
Speaker 1: shall forget how I sat and watched him, with the
Speaker 1: soap all in my eyes, as he put an edge
Speaker 1: upon the razor. Then he set about shaving off my hair.
Speaker 1: He got off about half of it, and I was
Speaker 1: streaming with blood. When who should come in but my father.
Speaker 1: If he hadn't, Tom Benyon would have made it end
Speaker 1: of me, he paused. I perceived that the mere recollection
Speaker 1: of his little adventure affected him unpleasantly. There was something
Speaker 1: queer about his death. Some people said it was drink
Speaker 1: had done for him. Some of em said he had
Speaker 1: done for himself. Anyhow, the whole countryside was at his funeral.
Speaker 1: I was there. I remember it as plainly as though
Speaker 1: it was yesterday. While I was looking at mister Sapsworth
Speaker 1: and pondering his words, there came the sound of laughter
Speaker 1: from the middle of the ground. It was not a
Speaker 1: loud laugh, but it was a distinctly disagreeable one. I
Speaker 1: looked round. Mister Benyon was laughing at mister Fennings's discomfiture.
Speaker 1: He had served him as he had served me. He
Speaker 1: had taken his middle stump right out of the ground.
Speaker 1: I turned to mister Sapsworth, you follow me. Mister Sapsworth
Speaker 1: turned several shades wider me. He looked about him with
Speaker 1: a frightened air. Mister trentam I can't. He said, nonsense, Sapsworth,
Speaker 1: you don't mean to say that you are going to
Speaker 1: allow yourself to be frightened by any nonsense about a ghost.
Speaker 1: And in broad daylight two the little man did not look,
Speaker 1: by any means reassured by my tone of derision. He
Speaker 1: seemed more inclined to take to his heels than to
Speaker 1: take his place at the wickets. It is not impossible
Speaker 1: that he might have done so had he not been
Speaker 1: addressed from a different quarter, Bob Sapsworth. It was mister
Speaker 1: Benyon calling to the little barber right across the field,
Speaker 1: come and be shaved. I own that I myself was startled.
Speaker 1: The words were opposite, to say the least of it.
Speaker 1: We had just been speaking of mister sapsworth experience of
Speaker 1: the shaver's art as practiced by mister Benyon's hands. And
Speaker 1: here was mister Benyon's namesake, inviting him, if not to
Speaker 1: be cut, at least to cut again on mister Sapsworth.
Speaker 1: The effect of the imitation was surprising. He had on
Speaker 1: his pads, his bat was in his hand. Without a word,
Speaker 1: he shuffled towards the stumps. If I ever saw a
Speaker 1: man go to the wickets in a state of mortal funk,
Speaker 1: I saw him. Then I myself moved towards the scoring tent.
Speaker 1: The state of things within it at once oppressed me
Speaker 1: as peculiar. It had been filled a little time ago
Speaker 1: with jovial faces. Now the owners of those faces might
Speaker 1: have been attendants at a funeral, And many a man
Speaker 1: has had a livelier following to the grave than I
Speaker 1: saw assembled. Then Fenning came shambling into the tent. I
Speaker 1: spoke to him, mister Benyon's bowling was too much for you,
Speaker 1: eh Fenning, Unless I am mistaken. Mister Fenning wiped a
Speaker 1: tear out of his eye. He certainly put up his
Speaker 1: hand and rubbed the optic with his knuckles. I never
Speaker 1: see eat such bowling. Tain't fair, he said, What is
Speaker 1: there unfair about it? Fenning? It comes so sharp. I
Speaker 1: never seed the ball before there was my wickets down,
Speaker 1: I smiled. Not so the company they regarded mister Fenning's words.
Speaker 1: With different eyes, mister Hedges gave expression to the general opinion.
Speaker 1: You ain't never seen such bowling afore, and you won't
Speaker 1: never see such bowling again, because why because it's a
Speaker 1: ghost that's bowling, not a man. Mister Fenning looked about
Speaker 1: him with open eyes and with open mouth as well.
Speaker 1: A ghost, he mumbled. A ghost, said mister Hedges. I expostulated, Come,
Speaker 1: mister Hedges, you frighten the lad. I am surprised too,
Speaker 1: that a man of your age and experience and wisdom
Speaker 1: should talk nonsense about ghosts. Mister Hedges looked up at
Speaker 1: me a little sharply. If he ain't a ghost, what's
Speaker 1: become of the things that he's took off? I asked
Speaker 1: him what he meant. He pointed across the ground. He
Speaker 1: took off his hat and his coat and his scarf,
Speaker 1: and he laid him on the grass. He ain't touched them,
Speaker 1: and no one ain't took them yet. They're gone. We
Speaker 1: saw them go. If he ain't a ghost, what's become
Speaker 1: of the things that he's took off? Mister Hedges grew
Speaker 1: a little excited. I looked in the direction in which
Speaker 1: the old gentleman was pointing. The garments referred to had
Speaker 1: apparently vanished, but of course their disappearance was susceptible of
Speaker 1: a most natural explanation. I should have maintained this proposition
Speaker 1: with more confidence had it not been for something which
Speaker 1: immediately occurred. Mister Benyon was preparing to deliver his first
Speaker 1: ball to mister Sapsworth, and as I eyed him, I
Speaker 1: noted the extremely unworkmanlike attitude in which mister Sapsworth awaited
Speaker 1: the delivery. Preparatory to delivering the ball, mister Benyon divested
Speaker 1: himself of his remarkable coat, which matched his trousers, and
Speaker 1: in so doing disclosed a waistcoat which matched his coat.
Speaker 1: Neatly folding up the garment, he laid it beside him
Speaker 1: on the ground. No sooner did it touch the ground
Speaker 1: than it disappeared. I am unable to say how, but
Speaker 1: it did, and that before the eyes of all the
Speaker 1: lookers on this singular behavior on the part of that
Speaker 1: curious garment took me by surprise. After that, I was
Speaker 1: prepared to excuse a certain amount of nervousness on the
Speaker 1: part of mister Sapsworth to mister Benyon, mister Sapsworth's nervousness
Speaker 1: seemed to afford positive pleasure. He cried in a tone
Speaker 1: which was perhaps meant to be jovial. Now, Bob Sapsworth
Speaker 1: prepared to be shaved. The ball went from his hand
Speaker 1: like lightning, mister Sapsworth yelled. Mister Benyon sent down his
Speaker 1: second ball, whack not against the bat, but I should say,
Speaker 1: as as nearly as possible, against the same portion of
Speaker 1: mister Sapsworth's frame which it had struck before. Any cricketer
Speaker 1: might have been demoralized after receiving two such blows, but
Speaker 1: he would at least have tried to get out of
Speaker 1: the way of the ball instead of in it. Mister
Speaker 1: Sapsworth placed his person exactly where the ball might be
Speaker 1: expected to come, and for once in a way, expectation
Speaker 1: was realized. It did come. The third, fourth and fifth
Speaker 1: balls found an exactly similar billet, and the sixth not
Speaker 1: only knocked his bat out of his trembling hands, but
Speaker 1: all three of his stumps clean out of the ground.
Speaker 1: I said, I'd shave you, Bobby, shouted mister Benyon, as
Speaker 1: the victim went limping from the place of execution. Next
Speaker 1: man in, I said, I ain't goin. In courteously rejoined
Speaker 1: the player whose turn it was to follow. I was
Speaker 1: about to ask him why, when I was saved the
Speaker 1: trouble by mister Benyon Jack Hawthorne. Oddly enough, the man's
Speaker 1: name was Hawthorne, though how mister Benyon came to know
Speaker 1: that he was next man in is more than I
Speaker 1: can say. Mister Hawthorne was a huge fellow, quite six
Speaker 1: feet high, but at the sound of mister Benyon's voice,
Speaker 1: he rose docile as a child. I'm waiting for you
Speaker 1: without pads. Mister Hawthorne went striding across the turf, content
Speaker 1: to use the bat which mister Sapsworth had left lying
Speaker 1: on the ground. That hero came limping into the tent.
Speaker 1: It's a ghost, he said. I could not but feel
Speaker 1: that the fellow was something of a cur to this feeling,
Speaker 1: I gave expression ghost or no ghost. Rather than let
Speaker 1: him pound me all over the body with the ball,
Speaker 1: I would have made one try to hit at it.
Speaker 1: And you told me that you were an all around player.
Speaker 1: No doubt. The man must have been suffering considerable pain.
Speaker 1: But I was too much annoyed at his cowardice to
Speaker 1: feel for him. Besides, the whole thing was so preposterous.
Speaker 1: Undoubtedly as a trundler, mister Benyon was superb. I have
Speaker 1: no hesitation in saying that I do not remember to
Speaker 1: have seeing finer bowling than his on any ground in England.
Speaker 1: He combined two things which, so far as I am aware,
Speaker 1: are not to be found together in any living player,
Speaker 1: pace and break. But it was not his bowling fine
Speaker 1: as it was which promised to work our ruin so
Speaker 1: much as the absurd belief entertained by the members of
Speaker 1: the team that he checked trousers and all was a ghost.
Speaker 1: Then idea came into my head. I resolved that I
Speaker 1: would ask him, point blank, in the face of all
Speaker 1: the people if he was a ghost. If his answers
Speaker 1: did not satisfy the doubters, nothing would. The opportunity occurred
Speaker 1: just as he was about to begin his following over,
Speaker 1: moving from the tent, I advanced towards the wickets. Excuse me,
Speaker 1: mister Benyon, but before you commenced to bowl, might I
Speaker 1: speak to you a word? He turned and looked at me.
Speaker 1: As he did so, I was conscious that, in the
Speaker 1: most emphatic sense of the word, his appearance was peculiar.
Speaker 1: He looked as though he were a corpse, and an
Speaker 1: unhealthy corpse to boot, the sort of corpse that no
Speaker 1: man would spend the night with willingly. And this unpleasant
Speaker 1: appearance was accentuated by his ridiculous attire, fancy a dead
Speaker 1: man of a bloated habit of body, taking his walks
Speaker 1: abroad in a suit of checks, each checked twelve inches square.
Speaker 1: I was so uncomfortably conscious that mister Benyon did not
Speaker 1: look a culpable kind of man, that I faltered in
Speaker 1: my speech. You will excuse me, mister Benyon, if the
Speaker 1: question I am about to put to you appears to
Speaker 1: you even worse than absurd. But the members of my
Speaker 1: team have some ridiculous notion in their heads that you
Speaker 1: are a certain Tom Benyon, who died twenty years ago
Speaker 1: and who now lies the churchyard. I am sure therefore
Speaker 1: you will forgive my asking. Are you a ghost? Mister
Speaker 1: Benyon eyed me, and I eyed him not willingly, but
Speaker 1: because for some reason or other I could not help it.
Speaker 1: At last, he answered, speaking in a sort of shout.
Speaker 1: I am of course. Such an answer was absurd, ridiculously absurd.
Speaker 1: As I sit here writing, no man could be more
Speaker 1: conscious of its absurdity than I am. But then it
Speaker 1: was not that I was so conscious of, as of
Speaker 1: a cold shiver going all down my back, and of
Speaker 1: a sort of feeling as though Providence had sent me
Speaker 1: out into the world knock kneed. I struggled against a
Speaker 1: strong inclination to sit down upon the turf and stop there,
Speaker 1: but being at the same time dimly aware that I
Speaker 1: was making an unexampled fool of myself, I made a
Speaker 1: frantic effort to regain the use of my tongue. Oh
Speaker 1: you you are a ghost, I thought so that. Thanks
Speaker 1: how I got back to the tent. I have not
Speaker 1: the faintest notion, but I do know that after that
Speaker 1: exhibition of the sort of stuff that I was made of,
Speaker 1: disaster followed hard upon disaster. The first wicket, my own,
Speaker 1: had fallen for thirteen runs, The second and the third
Speaker 1: had seen the score unaltered. Hawthorne was the fourth man in.
Speaker 1: He was so fortunate as to appear upon the scene.
Speaker 1: Just as I put my fatal question, it was to
Speaker 1: give him a chance, I put it. The answer settled him,
Speaker 1: that is, if there was anything left to settle. I
Speaker 1: am not able to state exactly what became of him,
Speaker 1: but I have a clear impression that he was out
Speaker 1: at the end of the over. Moreover, of this, I
Speaker 1: am well assured that nine wickets fell without an addition
Speaker 1: being made to the score. I suppose that is, in
Speaker 1: its way a record. Whether mister Benyon owed the inhabitants
Speaker 1: of his native place at grudge. The evidence before me
Speaker 1: does not enable one to decide. But if he did,
Speaker 1: he certainly paid it in full that day. Although he
Speaker 1: bowled at the wickets, he hit the players first. Nor
Speaker 1: was this, so far as appearances went, in any way
Speaker 1: his fault. They seemed to have a singular knack of
Speaker 1: getting just in the way of the ball. The order
Speaker 1: of the innings was this, The ball hit each man
Speaker 1: five times in the wickets, once at the end of
Speaker 1: each of mister Benyon's overs, a batsman returned to the tent,
Speaker 1: a sadder and a lamer man. One case in particular
Speaker 1: was hard. It was the case of mister Hedges. He
Speaker 1: was the last man in. When his turn came, with
Speaker 1: the score still at thirteen runs, he stuck to his
Speaker 1: seat like glue. Won't somebody go in for me? He asked,
Speaker 1: as he saw his doom approaching. I ain't no cricketer,
Speaker 1: he added a little later on, Now am I? He
Speaker 1: asked the question of his friends, But his friends were
Speaker 1: still He addressed himself to mister Sapsworth. Bob Sapsworth, you
Speaker 1: asked me to play, now, didn't you? You says to me.
Speaker 1: If you play William Hedges, you says, I shouldn't be surprised.
Speaker 1: But what the gent as we're going to ask to
Speaker 1: captain us? Stand you a free lunch? You says, not
Speaker 1: to speak of drinks. You says, I pricked up my
Speaker 1: ears at this, but held my tongue. But you says
Speaker 1: nothing about being bold at by a ghost? Now did
Speaker 1: you now, I ask you, Bob Sapsworth? Did you now?
Speaker 1: Mister Sapsworth was silent. The old gentleman went on, I
Speaker 1: shan't go in, he announced. That was when the ninth
Speaker 1: batsman had received mister Benyon's first ball upon his person.
Speaker 1: Nothing shan't make me go in to be bold at
Speaker 1: by a ghost. The second announcement followed the delivery of
Speaker 1: the second ball upon the bats men's person. I ain't
Speaker 1: no cricketer, and I don't know nothing about the rules
Speaker 1: of the game, and I ain't going to stand up
Speaker 1: to be chucked at by a ghost, and mister Hedges
Speaker 1: struck his fist upon the board. There came a yell
Speaker 1: from the wickets. Mister Hedges gripped his seat tightly with
Speaker 1: his hands. I won't go in, he cried. Another ball,
Speaker 1: another yell. Mister Hedges repeated his determination over and over again,
Speaker 1: as if in its reiteration he sought for strength to
Speaker 1: keep it. I won't, I won't, I won't. The last
Speaker 1: ball of the over, in the ninth of our hopes
Speaker 1: had fallen. A pause ensued. The batsman came limping towards
Speaker 1: the tent. Mister Hedges time was come. He clutched at
Speaker 1: the seat with the frenzy of despair. Bill Hedges sang out,
Speaker 1: mister Benyon, but mister Hedges gave no sign. Bill Hedges
Speaker 1: still no reply. Bill Hedges, have I got to come
Speaker 1: and fetch you? At that awful threat, The old gentleman
Speaker 1: did rise. His ample form went waddling across the ground.
Speaker 1: I'm a coming, Tom. I ain't no cricketer, Tom, though,
Speaker 1: don't you be too hard on me. If you must
Speaker 1: hit me, let it be behind. Where's your bat? The
Speaker 1: inquiry came from mister Benyon. Mister Hedges had arrived at
Speaker 1: the Wicked without that batsman's requisite. He scratched his head.
Speaker 1: My bat. I don't want no bat. I ain't no cricketer.
Speaker 1: You can hit me quite as well without it, Tom,
Speaker 1: go and get your bat. Mister Hedges went and got it.
Speaker 1: When he had it, it was evident that he had
Speaker 1: but rudimentary notions of its uses. He held the gingerly
Speaker 1: round side foremost, as though he were afraid that if
Speaker 1: he grasped it tightly it would burn him. Bill Hedges,
Speaker 1: do you remember those drinks you paid for me the
Speaker 1: sad week before I died? No, Tom, I can't say
Speaker 1: rightly as how I do you did? It was at
Speaker 1: the Crown and Anchor. I had no money. I said,
Speaker 1: if you'd stand sam, i'd pay you back again, but
Speaker 1: I never did. I'll pay you now. Mister Benyon paid
Speaker 1: him five times over. The old gentleman bore it like
Speaker 1: a lamb, whack whack, whack, whack, whack, and the fall
Speaker 1: of his wicket at the end. As he returned towards
Speaker 1: the tent, he wiped his wrinkled brow. I always said,
Speaker 1: I wasn't no cricketer, and I ain't he said, end
Speaker 1: of chapter two of a substitute, Section thirty two of
Speaker 1: Amusement Only. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings
Speaker 1: are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer,
Speaker 1: please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording by Kevin Alex. Amusement
Speaker 1: Only by Richard marsh a substitute. The Story of My
Speaker 1: Last cricket Match, Chapter three and bats our innings was
Speaker 1: over for thirteen runs. We sat there moping in a crowd,
Speaker 1: I among the rest, when mister Benyon, bustling up, reminded
Speaker 1: me of my duties as a captain. Now, then turn out,
Speaker 1: send your men into the field. We can't stop here
Speaker 1: all day. I'm first man in. Soon I'll have to go,
Speaker 1: and I haven't had a smack at a cricket ball
Speaker 1: these twenty years. We looked at each other. One part
Speaker 1: of his address gave us a certain gratification, that part
Speaker 1: in which he stated that he soon would have to go.
Speaker 1: We turned out, I suppose a more unpromising set of
Speaker 1: fieldsmen never yet took their places in the field. The
Speaker 1: Latchmere men went slouching towards the tent. Some of them
Speaker 1: I noticed. Instead of going in stole towards the rear,
Speaker 1: these I suspect still off the ground. I never set
Speaker 1: eyes on them again. Mister Trenham, I I can't bowl,
Speaker 1: whispered mister Sapsworth to me, as we moved across the turf.
Speaker 1: He and I had agreed that we should start the bowling.
Speaker 1: I confess that I felt no more inclined to act
Speaker 1: up to the letter of our agreement than he did.
Speaker 1: But mister Benyon intervened, Now, Bob Sapsworth, you take the
Speaker 1: bowling one end and let your captain take the other.
Speaker 1: Captain you take first over. I obeyed without a murmur.
Speaker 1: It might have been quite a usual thing to see
Speaker 1: in a match, a member of one team ordering about
Speaker 1: the captain of the other. I do not think that
Speaker 1: our field was arranged on signed actific principles. I may
Speaker 1: certainly claim that I had nothing to do with its arrangement.
Speaker 1: There is a suspicion floating through my mind that at
Speaker 1: one or two points two or more men were placed
Speaker 1: unusually close together. For instance, at deep mid off, very
Speaker 1: deep mid off, mister Hawthorne and mister Hedges were not
Speaker 1: only doing their best to trample on each other's toes,
Speaker 1: but each was seeking for a place of security behind
Speaker 1: the other's back. Mister Barker shared with mister Benyon the
Speaker 1: honor of being first man in the Latchmere captain. As
Speaker 1: a captain had become quite as much a figurehead as
Speaker 1: I had. His bearing was indicative of extreme depression. I
Speaker 1: think he had learned that to take off hand the
Speaker 1: first substitute who offered was now and then unwise, to
Speaker 1: enable him to bat with more advantage. Mister Benyon had
Speaker 1: removed his waistcoat, which matched his trousers and his coat.
Speaker 1: What he had done with it I cannot say. Possibly
Speaker 1: it had vanished with his other garments into air. Now
Speaker 1: he had on a bright red flannel shirt. His tastes
Speaker 1: in costume seemed a trifle lurid, the sleeves of which
Speaker 1: were turned up above the elbows. His pose was almost
Speaker 1: as peculiar as his costume. He stood bolt upright, his
Speaker 1: legs together, his feet drawn, heel to heel, not at
Speaker 1: all in the fashion of a modern cricketer who seeks
Speaker 1: to guard his wickets with his legs. His bat he
Speaker 1: held straight down in front of him, the blade swinging
Speaker 1: gently in the air. I'm afraid I wasted more time
Speaker 1: in preparing to deliver my first ball than I need
Speaker 1: have done. But if mister Benyon had not had a
Speaker 1: smack with a bat for twenty years, it was a
Speaker 1: good fifteen since I had bowled a ball. After such
Speaker 1: a lapse of time, one requires to pull one's self
Speaker 1: together before exhibiting one's powers to a cricketer of mister
Speaker 1: Benyon's caliber. He, however, did not seem to recognize the
Speaker 1: necessity which I myself felt that I was under. Hurry up, up, sir,
Speaker 1: don't I tell you that soon I'll have to go.
Speaker 1: I hurried up. I gave him an overhand, full pitch,
Speaker 1: which would have made a decent catch for Point if
Speaker 1: Point had been close, in which she wasn't. However, in
Speaker 1: any case, mister Benyon would have saved him the trouble.
Speaker 1: He hit the ball that cracked, the like of which
Speaker 1: I had never seen before. He drove it over the hedge,
Speaker 1: and over the trees, and up to the skies and
Speaker 1: out of sight. I don't think that's a bad little
Speaker 1: smack to start with, he observed. I like your kind
Speaker 1: of bowling, mister. I suppose that's a boundary. He called
Speaker 1: to the scorer if there was one, which I doubt
Speaker 1: put down Tom Benyon six. He turned again to me.
Speaker 1: It's no good wasting time looking for that ball. I've
Speaker 1: another in my pocket you can have. He put his
Speaker 1: hand into his trousers pocket. Those remarkable garments fitted him
Speaker 1: like eel skins. I had certainly never supposed that he
Speaker 1: could buy, any possibility have such a thing as a
Speaker 1: cricket ball in one of the pockets, but appeared that
Speaker 1: he had. He drew out and threw it up to me.
Speaker 1: My second ball was a colorable imitation of my first,
Speaker 1: only this time it was wide to leg to long leg.
Speaker 1: Mister Benyon sent it flying. Put down Tom Benyon another six.
Speaker 1: He cried, I do like your bowling, mister. I've got
Speaker 1: another ball which you can have. He produced a second
Speaker 1: ball from the same pocket from which the first had come.
Speaker 1: I could scarcely believe my eyes, but I was discovering
Speaker 1: with horatio that there were more things in heaven and
Speaker 1: Earth than had been contained in my philosophy. Since mister
Speaker 1: Benyon professed such affection for the style of bowling which
Speaker 1: I favored, I sent him down another sample. This time
Speaker 1: it was fairly straight, by which I mean that it
Speaker 1: would not have pitched more than a yard from the
Speaker 1: wickets if mister Benyon had allowed it to pitch, which
Speaker 1: he didn't. He treated it as he had done the first.
Speaker 1: He drove it with terrific force, right above my head.
Speaker 1: Never mind about the ball, he said, I've got another
Speaker 1: in my pocket. He had the third, and in the
Speaker 1: same pocket from which the other two had come. My
Speaker 1: fourth ball he treated to a swipe the square leg.
Speaker 1: He seemed to have a partiality for swiping, quite unnecessarily.
Speaker 1: He allowed that this was so. I do like a
Speaker 1: ball which I can get a smack at, he remarked,
Speaker 1: as he produced a fourth ball from the same pocket
Speaker 1: of his tightly fitting trousers which had contained the other three.
Speaker 1: A swipe does warm me. So you're kind of bowling.
Speaker 1: Mister's just the thing. It was kind of him to
Speaker 1: say so, though to my thinking his remark did not
Speaker 1: convey a compliment. When he sent my fifth ball out
Speaker 1: of sight, I wished that his love for swiping had
Speaker 1: been less or my bowling of another kind. The sixth, however,
Speaker 1: which he also produced from the same wondrous store, contained
Speaker 1: in his breeches pocket. He contented himself with what he
Speaker 1: called snicking. That's what I call a pretty snick, he said.
Speaker 1: The snick in question was a tremendous drive to deep
Speaker 1: mid off. It was stopped quite involved terarily by mister
Speaker 1: Hawthorne and mister Hedges. So far as I could see,
Speaker 1: it stunned the pair of them. Neither of them made
Speaker 1: the slightest attempt to return the ball. Run it out,
Speaker 1: cried mister Benyon. He and mister Barker began to run.
Speaker 1: They ran four, and then they ran two more, and
Speaker 1: still the ball was not thrown in. Mister Benyon urged
Speaker 1: the fielders on hurry up, Bill Hedges. Mister Hedges did
Speaker 1: not hurry up. He never could have hurried up, even
Speaker 1: if his manner of fielding the ball had not wholly
Speaker 1: deprived him of his wind. But the ball was at
Speaker 1: last thrown in when the pair had run eleven forty
Speaker 1: one runs off as first over was a result calculated
Speaker 1: to take the conceit out of the average bowler, and
Speaker 1: mister Benyon's last performance, his snick had placed him at
Speaker 1: the other wicket, prepared to receive mister Sapsworth's bowling. When
Speaker 1: it came Now, Bob Sapsworth, I'll have a smack at you,
Speaker 1: he said he had. I felt for mister Sapsworth, but
Speaker 1: since I had suffered, it was only fair that he
Speaker 1: should suffer too. Crack, smack, whack went the balls out
Speaker 1: of sight in all directions, and for each ball that disappeared,
Speaker 1: mister Benyon produced another from his breeches pocket. I felt
Speaker 1: that these things must be happening to me in a dream.
Speaker 1: I was rapidly approaching the condition in which Alice must
Speaker 1: have been in Wonderland, prepared for anything. Time went on,
Speaker 1: mister Sapsworth, and I bowled over after over. Mister Benyon
Speaker 1: was making a record in tall scoring. No performance of
Speaker 1: Wg's ever came within many miles of it. And the
Speaker 1: balls he lost, and the balls which he produced, and
Speaker 1: the diabolical ingenuity with which he managed at the close
Speaker 1: of every over the change his end. If mister Barker
Speaker 1: did no hitting, he did some running. He never had
Speaker 1: a chance to make a stroke, but his partner took
Speaker 1: care to make him run an incredibly large odd number
Speaker 1: as a wind up to every over. Mister Benyon did
Speaker 1: not seem to be distressed by the exertion in the
Speaker 1: least mister Barker in fly did. Mister Benyon had buoyed
Speaker 1: us up by a statement that he would soon have
Speaker 1: to go. His ideas of soon were different from ours.
Speaker 1: I suppose at the outside our innings had lasted half
Speaker 1: an hour. How long we bowled to mister Benyon is
Speaker 1: more than I can say. I know that I bowled
Speaker 1: until I felt that I should either have to stop
Speaker 1: or drop by degrees. One fact began to be impressed
Speaker 1: upon me. It was this that the number of spectators
Speaker 1: was growing smaller by degrees, and beautifully less. Originally there
Speaker 1: had been quite a crowd assembled. In course of time,
Speaker 1: this had dwindled to half a dozen stragglers. A little
Speaker 1: later on even these had gone, and not only spectators
Speaker 1: but cricketers had disappeared. If my eyes did not deceive me,
Speaker 1: there was not a member of the Latchmere team left
Speaker 1: on the ground. They had had enough mister Benyon or
Speaker 1: his ghost. What was more, some of our own team
Speaker 1: took courage and leg bail. I caught one of them,
Speaker 1: the lad Fenning, in the act of scrambling through the hedge,
Speaker 1: but I had not the heart to stop him. I
Speaker 1: only wished that I had been so fortunate as to
Speaker 1: have led the van. The thing grew serious so far
Speaker 1: as I could see mister Hawthorn, mister Hedges, mister Sapsworth
Speaker 1: and I were the only members of the Storrewell team
Speaker 1: left on the ground, and the reflection involuntarily crossed my mind.
Speaker 1: What fools we were to stay, the amount of running
Speaker 1: about we had to do, and the way in which
Speaker 1: mister Benyon urged us on. The perspiration was running off
Speaker 1: from us in streams. I had never had such a
Speaker 1: sweater before. I do like your kind of bowling, mister.
Speaker 1: Mister Benyon would constantly remark. If I had had an
Speaker 1: equal admiration for his kind of batting, we should have
Speaker 1: been quits. But I had not, at least not then.
Speaker 1: A little later, looking round the field, I found that
Speaker 1: mister Hawthorn had disappeared, and that mister Hedges, stuck in
Speaker 1: a hedge, was struggling gallantly to reach safety on the
Speaker 1: other side. It was the last ball of mister Sapsworth's
Speaker 1: over Benyon ran thirteen for a hit to leg. He
Speaker 1: made mister Barker run them too. It was the proverbial
Speaker 1: last straw. As mister Barker was running the thirteenth run.
Speaker 1: Instead of going to his wicket, he dropped his bat,
Speaker 1: the bat which he had never had a chance to utilize,
Speaker 1: and bolted off the field as though Satan was behind him.
Speaker 1: Mister Benyon called out to him, but mister Barker neither
Speaker 1: stopped nor stayed. It seemed that the match was going
Speaker 1: to resolve itself into a game of single wicket. To
Speaker 1: make things better, when I came up to bowl, I
Speaker 1: perceived that mister Sapsworth's power of endurance had reached its tether. Position.
Speaker 1: He had taken up in the field had not much
Speaker 1: promise of usefulness. He first stood close up to the hedge,
Speaker 1: then he stood in the middle of the hedge. Then
Speaker 1: I doubt if he stood upon the other side. But
Speaker 1: at least he had vanished from my ken, and I
Speaker 1: was left alone to bowl. To mister Benyon that over,
Speaker 1: I do like your kind of bowling, mister, he observed,
Speaker 1: when as usual he sent my first ball out of sight.
Speaker 1: Never mind about the ball, I've got one in my pocket.
Speaker 1: You can have he had. He produced it always from
Speaker 1: the same pocket. It was about the second thousand. It
Speaker 1: does warm me so to swipe this, he said, when
Speaker 1: he had sent my second ball on a journey to
Speaker 1: find his brother. Then a ball or two later on,
Speaker 1: I call that a tidy smack. The smack in question
Speaker 1: had driven the ball, for anything I know to the contrary,
Speaker 1: a distance of some five miles or so. The next
Speaker 1: ball I fielded. It was the first piece of fielding
Speaker 1: I'd done that day, and that was unintentional. It laid
Speaker 1: me on the ground. It was some moments before I
Speaker 1: recovered myself sufficiently to enable me to look round. When
Speaker 1: I did so, no one was in sight. I was
Speaker 1: alone in the field. The opposite wicket was deserted, the
Speaker 1: bat lay in the ground, and mister Benyon had gone.
Speaker 1: The end end of chapter three of a substitute end
Speaker 1: of Amusement only by Richard mar Push