1 00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:05,719 Speaker 1: The Conscience Pudding by e Ne's Bitt. It was Christmas, 2 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:10,000 nearly a year after mother died. I cannot write about mother, 3 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,279 but I will just say one thing. If she had 4 00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:16,559 only been away for a little while and not for always, 5 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,160 we shouldn't have been so keen on having a Christmas. 6 00:00:20,399 --> 00:00:23,440 I didn't understand this then, but I am much older now, 7 00:00:23,879 --> 00:00:25,640 and I think it was just because everything was so 8 00:00:25,719 --> 00:00:29,160 different and horrid, we felt we must do something, and 9 00:00:29,239 --> 00:00:33,320 perhaps we were not particular enough. What things make you 10 00:00:33,439 --> 00:00:35,880 much more unhappy when you loaf about than when you 11 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:41,600 were doing events. Father had to go away just about Christmas. 12 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:44,320 He had heard that his wicked partner who ran away 13 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,799 with his money, was in France, and he thought he 14 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:49,799 could catch him. But really he was in Spain, where 15 00:00:49,799 --> 00:00:53,000 catching criminals is never practiced. We did not know this 16 00:00:53,119 --> 00:00:57,399 till afterwards. Before Father went away, he took Dora and 17 00:00:57,439 --> 00:01:01,159 Oswald into his study and said, I'm awfully sorry I've 18 00:01:01,159 --> 00:01:03,840 got to go away, but it is very serious business 19 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:07,000 and I must go. You'll be good while I'm away, kiddies, 20 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:12,439 won't you? We promised faithfully. Then he said, there are 21 00:01:12,519 --> 00:01:15,439 reasons you wouldn't understand if I tried to tell you, 22 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,760 but you can't have much for Christmas this year, But 23 00:01:18,799 --> 00:01:21,040 I've told Matilda to make you a good plane pudding. 24 00:01:21,519 --> 00:01:25,879 Perhaps next Christmas will be brighter. It was for the 25 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,599 next Christmas saw us the affluent nephews and nieces of 26 00:01:28,599 --> 00:01:31,599 an Indian uncle. But that is quite another story, As 27 00:01:31,599 --> 00:01:35,760 good Old Kipling says, when father had been seen off 28 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,760 at Lewisham Station with his bags and a plaid rug 29 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:42,120 in a strap, we came home again and it was horrid. 30 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,439 There were papers and things littered all over his room 31 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,480 where he had packed. We tidy the room up. It 32 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,280 was the only thing we could do for him. It 33 00:01:51,359 --> 00:01:54,840 was Dickie who accidentally broke his shaving glass, and h 34 00:01:54,879 --> 00:01:56,719 O made a paper boat out of a letter. We 35 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:01,239 found out afterwards. Father particularly wanted to keep. This took 36 00:02:01,319 --> 00:02:04,120 us some time, and when we went into the nursery 37 00:02:04,439 --> 00:02:06,560 the fire was black out and we could not get 38 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:10,520 it alight again, even with the whole daily chronicle. Matilda, 39 00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:13,360 who was our general then, was out as well as 40 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,759 the fire, so we went and sat in a kitchen. 41 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:20,120 There is always a good fire in kitchens. The kitchen 42 00:02:20,159 --> 00:02:22,240 hearth rug was not nice to sit on, so we 43 00:02:22,319 --> 00:02:26,360 spread newspapers on it. It was sitting in the kitchen. 44 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,240 I think that brought to our minds my father's parting 45 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:34,039 words about the pudding. I mean, Oswald said. Father said 46 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,520 we couldn't have much of a Christmas for secret reasons, 47 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,159 and he said he had told Matilda to make us 48 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:43,879 a plain pudding. The plain pudding instantly cast its shadow 49 00:02:44,159 --> 00:02:48,439 over the deepening gloom of our young minds. I wonder 50 00:02:48,479 --> 00:02:52,840 how plain she'll make it, Dickie said, as plain as 51 00:02:52,879 --> 00:02:57,039 plain you may depend, said Oswald. Ah, here am I, 52 00:02:57,159 --> 00:03:02,360 where are you pudding? That's her sort. The others groaned, 53 00:03:02,879 --> 00:03:06,039 and we gathered closer round the fire till the newspapers 54 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:10,439 rustled madly. I believe I could make a pudding that 55 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:14,520 wasn't plain if I tried. Alice said, why shouldn't we? 56 00:03:15,719 --> 00:03:20,199 No chink, said Oswald, with brief sadness. How much would 57 00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:23,919 it cost? Noel asked, and added that Dora had twopence 58 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:28,199 and h O had a French halfpenny. Dora got the 59 00:03:28,199 --> 00:03:30,759 cookery book out of the dresser drawer, where it lay 60 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:34,439 doubled up among clothes, pegs, dirty dusters, scallop shells, string 61 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:39,000 penny novelettes, and the dining room corkscrew the general we had. 62 00:03:39,039 --> 00:03:41,199 Then it seemed as if she did all the cooking 63 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:43,639 on the cookery book instead of on the baking board. 64 00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,879 There were traces of so many bygone meals upon its pages. 65 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:53,120 It doesn't say Christmas pudding at all, said Dora. Try plumb. 66 00:03:53,599 --> 00:03:58,840 The resourceful Oswald instantly counseled. Dora turned the greasy pages anxiously. 67 00:04:00,479 --> 00:04:04,879 Plum pudding five one eight, are rich with flour five 68 00:04:04,919 --> 00:04:09,439 one seven, Christmas five one seven, cold brandy sauce for 69 00:04:09,919 --> 00:04:12,960 two four one. We shouldn't care about that, so it's 70 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:17,879 no use looking good without eggs five one eight plain 71 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:22,720 five one eight. We don't want that anyhow. Christmas five 72 00:04:22,759 --> 00:04:26,480 one seven, that's the one. It took her a long 73 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,959 time to find the page. Oswald got a shovel of 74 00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:33,439 coals and made up the fire. It blazed up like 75 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:37,759 the devouring elephant the Daily Telegraph always calls it. Then 76 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:43,560 Dora read Christmas plum pudding. Time six hours to eat 77 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:47,360 it in, said h O. No silly to make it 78 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:53,759 forge a head, Dora. Dickie replied. Dora went on twenty 79 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:57,439 seventy two one pound and half of raisins, half a 80 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,560 pound of currants, three quarters of a pound of breadread crumbs, 81 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:03,480 half a pound of flour, three quarters of a pound 82 00:05:03,519 --> 00:05:07,439 of beef suet, nine eggs, one wine glassful of brandy, 83 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:11,000 half a pound of citron and orange peel, half a nutmeg, 84 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:14,600 and a little ground ginger. I wonder how little ground 85 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:18,920 ginger a tea cupful would be enough, I think, Alice said, 86 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:23,120 we must not be extravagant. We haven't got anything yet 87 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:27,040 to be extravagant with, said Oswald, who had toothache that day. 88 00:05:27,639 --> 00:05:29,519 What would you do with the things? If you've got them? 89 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,959 You'd chop the suet as fine as possible. I wonder 90 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:37,120 how fine that is, replied Dora. And the book together, 91 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,160 and mix it with the bread, crumbs and flour. Add 92 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:45,240 the currants, washed and dried, not starched, then, said Alice. 93 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,079 The citron and orange peel cut into thin slices. I 94 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,319 wonder what they call thin. Matilda's thin bread and butter 95 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,000 is quite different from what I mean by it. And 96 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,720 the raisins stoned and divided. How many heaps would you 97 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:03,439 divide them into? Seven? I suppose, said Alice, one for 98 00:06:03,519 --> 00:06:06,120 each person and one for the pot I mean pudding. 99 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:10,000 Mix it all well together with the grated nutmeg and ginger, 100 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,399 then stir in nine eggs well beaten, and the brandy. 101 00:06:13,879 --> 00:06:16,439 We'll leave that out, I think, And again, mix it 102 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:20,199 thoroughly together that every ingredient may be moistened. Put it 103 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,439 into a buttered mold, tie over tightly and boil for 104 00:06:23,519 --> 00:06:27,199 six hours. Serve it ornamented with holly and brandy poured 105 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:31,480 over it. I should think holly and brandy poured over 106 00:06:31,519 --> 00:06:35,680 it would be simply beastly, said Dickie. I expect the 107 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:38,519 book knows. I dare say holly and water would do 108 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,920 as well. Though this pudding may be made a month before, 109 00:06:42,879 --> 00:06:45,279 it's no use reading about that. Though, Because we've only 110 00:06:45,319 --> 00:06:49,600 got four days to Christmas, it's no use reading about 111 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:54,160 any of it, said Oswald, with thoughtful repeatedness. Because we 112 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,240 haven't got the things, and we haven't got the coin 113 00:06:56,319 --> 00:07:00,839 to get them. We might get the tins somehow, said Dickie. 114 00:07:01,759 --> 00:07:04,000 There must be lots of kind people who would subscribe 115 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,399 to a Christmas pudding for poor children who hadn't any 116 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:11,560 Noel said, well, I'm going skating at Pen's, said Oswald, 117 00:07:11,839 --> 00:07:14,439 it's no use thinking about puddings. We must put up 118 00:07:14,439 --> 00:07:19,160 with it plain. So he went and Dickie went with him. 119 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:23,040 When they returned to their home in the evening, the 120 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,560 fire had been lighted again in the nursery and the 121 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,560 others were just having tea. We toasted our bread and 122 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,759 butter on the bare side, and it gets a little 123 00:07:30,759 --> 00:07:33,560 warm among the butter. This is called a French toast. 124 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:38,199 I like English better, but it is more expensive, Alice said, 125 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,199 Matilda is in a frightful rage about your putting those 126 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:44,399 coals on a kitchen fire, Oswald. She says, we sha'n't 127 00:07:44,399 --> 00:07:46,279 have enough to last day a Christmas as it is. 128 00:07:46,839 --> 00:07:48,879 And Father gave her a talking to before he went 129 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,560 about them. Asked her if she ate them, she says, 130 00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:55,160 but I don't believe he did. Anyway, she's locked the 131 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:57,519 coal cellar door, and she's got the key in her pocket. 132 00:07:58,079 --> 00:08:01,959 I don't see how we can boil the pudding. What pudding? 133 00:08:02,439 --> 00:08:05,879 Said Oswald dreamily. He was thinking of a chap he 134 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,600 had seen at Penn's who had cut the date eighteen 135 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:13,360 ninety nine on the ice with four strokes the pudding. 136 00:08:13,839 --> 00:08:17,720 Alice said, Oh, we've had such a time, Oswald. First, 137 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,879 Dora and I went to the shops to find out 138 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:23,240 exactly what the pudding were cost. It's only two and elevenpence, 139 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:28,399 Hatney counting in the holly. It's no good, Oswald repeated. 140 00:08:28,639 --> 00:08:30,800 He is very patient and will say the same thing 141 00:08:30,879 --> 00:08:34,600 any number of times. It's no good. You know, we've 142 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:39,720 got no tin, ah said Alice. But Tatcho and I 143 00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:42,159 went out and we called at some of the houses 144 00:08:42,159 --> 00:08:44,840 in Granville Park and Dartmouth Hill, and we got a 145 00:08:44,879 --> 00:08:48,480 lot of sixpences and shillings besides pennies, and one old 146 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:51,559 gentleman gave us half a crown. He was so nice, 147 00:08:52,159 --> 00:08:55,480 quite bald, with a knitted red and blue waistcoat. We've 148 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:59,559 got eight and sevenpence. Oswald did not feel quite sure 149 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,840 Father would like us to go asking for shillings and 150 00:09:01,879 --> 00:09:05,720 sixpences or even half crowns from strangers, But he did 151 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:09,240 not say so. The money had been asked for and 152 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:12,559 got and it couldn't be helped, and perhaps he wanted 153 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,200 the pudding. I am not able to remember exactly why 154 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,679 he did not speak up and say this is wrong, 155 00:09:18,159 --> 00:09:22,200 but anyway he didn't. Alice and Dora went out and 156 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:26,000 bought the things. Next morning they bought double quantities, so 157 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,639 that it came to five shillings and elevenpence and was 158 00:09:28,759 --> 00:09:31,279 enough to make a noble pudding. There was a lot 159 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:34,480 of holly left over for decorations. We used very little 160 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,519 for the sauce. The money that was left we spent 161 00:09:37,639 --> 00:09:40,559 very anxiously in other things to eat, such as dates 162 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:44,879 and figs and toffee. We did not tell Matilda about it. 163 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:48,000 She was a red haired girl and apt to turn 164 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:53,240 shirty at the least thing concealed under our jackets and overcoats. 165 00:09:53,639 --> 00:09:56,320 We carried the parcels up to the nursery and hid 166 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,840 them in the treasure chest we had there. It was 167 00:09:58,879 --> 00:10:02,519 the bureau drawer. It was locked up afterwards because the 168 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:04,639 treacle got all over the green bays and the little 169 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:07,360 drawers inside it. While we were waiting to begin to 170 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:10,200 make the pudding, it was the grocer told us we 171 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,600 ought to put treacle in the pudding, and also about 172 00:10:12,639 --> 00:10:16,559 not so much ginger as a tea cupful. When Matilda 173 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:19,600 had begun to pretend to scrub the floor, she pretended 174 00:10:19,639 --> 00:10:21,440 this three times a week, so as to have an 175 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,759 excuse not to let us in the kitchen, but I 176 00:10:23,879 --> 00:10:25,919 know she used to read novelettes most of the time, 177 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,000 because Alice and I had a squint through the window 178 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:31,559 more than once. We barricaded the nursery door and set 179 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,399 to work. We were very careful to be quite clean. 180 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,080 We washed our hands as well as the currants. I 181 00:10:39,159 --> 00:10:41,639 have sometimes thought we did not get all the soap 182 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,759 off the currants. The pudding smelt like a washing day 183 00:10:44,759 --> 00:10:47,320 when the time came to cut it open, and we 184 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,399 washed a corner of the table to chop the suet on. 185 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:54,440 Chopping seuet looks easy to do. Try father's machine he 186 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,360 weighs letters with did to weigh out the things. We 187 00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,799 did this very carefully in case the grocer had not 188 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:04,879 done so. Everything was white except the raisins. Ho had 189 00:11:04,919 --> 00:11:07,919 carried them home. He was very young then, and there 190 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,600 was a hole in the corner of the paper bag, 191 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,720 and his mouth was sticky. Lots of people have been 192 00:11:13,759 --> 00:11:16,120 hanged to a gibbet in chains on evidence no worse 193 00:11:16,159 --> 00:11:18,759 than that, and we told Ho so till he cried. 194 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:22,240 This was good for him. It was not unkindness to hoe, 195 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,919 but part of our duty. Chopping suet as fine as 196 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,600 possible is much harder than any one would think. As 197 00:11:28,639 --> 00:11:32,320 I said before, so is crumbling bread, especially if your 198 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,799 loaf is new like ours was. When we had done them, 199 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,960 the bread crumbs and suet were both very large and lumpy, 200 00:11:39,159 --> 00:11:42,519 and of a dingy gray color, something like pale slate pencil. 201 00:11:43,919 --> 00:11:45,759 They looked a better color when we had mixed them 202 00:11:45,759 --> 00:11:48,679 with a flour. The girls had washed the currants with 203 00:11:48,759 --> 00:11:51,799 brown windsor soap and the sponge. Some of the currants 204 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,120 got inside the sponge and kept coming out in a 205 00:11:54,159 --> 00:11:57,360 bath for days afterwards. I see now that this was 206 00:11:57,399 --> 00:12:01,000 not quite nice. We cut the candied peel as thin 207 00:12:01,039 --> 00:12:03,000 as we wish people would cut our bread and butter. 208 00:12:03,879 --> 00:12:05,919 We tried to take the stones out of the raisins, 209 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,720 but they were too sticky, so we just divided them 210 00:12:08,799 --> 00:12:12,759 up in seven lots. Then we mixed the other things 211 00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:15,000 in the wash hand basin from the spare bedroom that 212 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:18,000 was always spare. We each put in our own lot 213 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,480 of raisins and turned it all into a pudding basin 214 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,279 and tied it up in one of Alice's pinafores, which 215 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:25,279 was the nearest thing to a proper pudding cloth we 216 00:12:25,279 --> 00:12:29,519 could find at any rate clean. What was left sticking 217 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:32,240 to the wash hand basin did not taste so bad. 218 00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:36,639 It's a little bit soapy, Alice said, But perhaps that 219 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:41,720 will boil out like stains in tablecloths. It was a 220 00:12:41,759 --> 00:12:46,679 difficult question how to boil the pudding. Matilda proved furious 221 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,600 when asked to let us just because someone had happened 222 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,200 to knock her hat off the scullery door, and Pincher 223 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:55,720 had got it and done for it. However, part of 224 00:12:55,759 --> 00:12:58,240 the embassy nick to saucepan while the others were being 225 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,799 told what Matilda thought about the hat, And we got 226 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,240 hot water out of the bathroom and made it boil 227 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:07,080 over our nursery fire. We put the pudding in it. 228 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,120 It was now getting on towards the hour of tea, 229 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,960 and let it boil, with some exceptions owing to the 230 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,720 fire going down and Matilda not hurrying up with coals. 231 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:20,159 It boiled for an hour and a quarter. Then Matilda 232 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,759 came suddenly in and said, I'm not going to have 233 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,480 you messing about in here with my saucepans, and she 234 00:13:25,519 --> 00:13:28,519 tried to take it off the fire. You will see 235 00:13:28,519 --> 00:13:32,279 that we couldn't stand this. It was not likely I 236 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:34,240 do not remember who it was that told her to 237 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,840 mind her own business, And I think I have forgotten 238 00:13:36,879 --> 00:13:38,919 who caught hold of her first to make her chuck it. 239 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:43,759 I'm sure no needless violence was used. Anyway, While the 240 00:13:43,759 --> 00:13:46,879 struggle progressed, Alice and Dora took the saucepan away and 241 00:13:46,919 --> 00:13:48,879 put it in the boot cupboard under the stairs, and 242 00:13:48,879 --> 00:13:52,639 put the key in their pocket. This sharp encounter made 243 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:55,960 every one very hot and cross. We got over it 244 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,000 before Matilda did, but we brought her round before bedtime. 245 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,639 Should always be made up before bedtime, it says so 246 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:06,080 in the Bible. If this simple rule was followed, there 247 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,799 would not be so many wars and martyrs, and lawsuits 248 00:14:08,879 --> 00:14:13,440 and inquisitions and bloody deaths. At the stake. All the 249 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:17,120 house was still. The gas was out all over the house, 250 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:21,399 except on the first landing, when several darkly shrouded figures 251 00:14:21,679 --> 00:14:25,960 might have been observed creeping downstairs to the kitchen. On 252 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:29,600 the way with superior precaution, we got out our saucepan. 253 00:14:30,679 --> 00:14:33,879 The kitchen fire was red but low. The coal cellar 254 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,080 was locked, and there was nothing in the scuttle but 255 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,519 a little coal dust and the piece of brown paper 256 00:14:38,519 --> 00:14:40,320 that had put in to keep the coals from tumbling 257 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:43,399 out through the bottom where the hole is. We put 258 00:14:43,399 --> 00:14:45,639 the saucepan on the fire and plied it with fuel. 259 00:14:46,039 --> 00:14:49,679 Two chronicles, a telegraph, and two family herald novelettes were 260 00:14:49,679 --> 00:14:52,480 burned in vain. I am almost sure the pudding did 261 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:57,000 not boil at all that night. Never mind, Alice said, 262 00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:59,120 we can each nick a piece of coal every time 263 00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:03,519 we go into the kitchen tomorrow. This daring scheme was 264 00:15:03,519 --> 00:15:06,960 faithfully performed, and by night we had nearly half a 265 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:10,840 waste paper basket of coal, coke and cinders. And in 266 00:15:10,879 --> 00:15:13,799 the depth of night once more we might have been observed, 267 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:17,000 this time with our collier like waste paper basket in 268 00:15:17,039 --> 00:15:20,799 our guarded hands. There was more fire left in the 269 00:15:20,799 --> 00:15:23,240 grate that night, and we fed it with a fuel 270 00:15:23,279 --> 00:15:26,600 we had collected. This time, the fire blazed up and 271 00:15:26,639 --> 00:15:30,000 the pudding boiled like mad. This was the time it 272 00:15:30,039 --> 00:15:32,840 boiled two hours at least, I think it was about that. 273 00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:35,879 But we dropped asleep on the kitchen tables and dresser. 274 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,240 You dare not be lowly in the night in a 275 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:43,039 kitchen because of the beetles. We were aroused by horrible 276 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,759 smell it was the pudding cloth burning all the water 277 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:50,440 had secretly boiled itself away. We filled it up at 278 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:54,039 once with cold and the saucepan cracked, So we cleaned 279 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,120 it and put it back on the shelf, and took 280 00:15:56,159 --> 00:15:58,759 another and went to bed. You see what a lot 281 00:15:58,799 --> 00:16:03,240 of trouble we had over the push every evening till Christmas, 282 00:16:03,679 --> 00:16:06,639 which had now become only the day after tomorrow. We 283 00:16:06,679 --> 00:16:09,720 sneaked down in the inky midnight and boiled that pudding 284 00:16:09,759 --> 00:16:13,039 for as long as it would. On Christmas morning, we 285 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,759 chopped the holly for the sauce, but we put hot 286 00:16:15,799 --> 00:16:19,960 water instead of brandy and moist sugar. Some of them 287 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,799 said it was not so bad. Oswald was not one 288 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,919 of these. Then came the moment, when the plain pudding 289 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:31,039 father had ordered smoked upon the board. Matilda brought it 290 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,399 in and went away at once. She had a cousin 291 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,360 out of Woolwich Arsenal to see her that day. I 292 00:16:36,399 --> 00:16:40,679 remember those far off days are quite distinctive memory's recollection. Still, 293 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,559 then we got out our own pudding from its hiding 294 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:48,000 place and gave it one last hurried boil, only seven 295 00:16:48,039 --> 00:16:51,360 minutes because of the general impatience which Oswald and Dora 296 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:54,879 could not cope with. We had found means to secrete 297 00:16:54,879 --> 00:16:57,480 a dish, and we now tried to dish the pudding up, 298 00:16:57,879 --> 00:16:59,720 but it stuck to the basin and had to be 299 00:16:59,759 --> 00:17:04,039 dis lodged with a chisel. The pudding was horribly pale. 300 00:17:04,279 --> 00:17:06,799 We poured the holly sauce over it, and Dora took 301 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,559 up the knife and was just cutting it when a 302 00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:12,799 few simple words from Aho turned us from happy and 303 00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:19,400 triumphing cookery artists the persons in despair. He said, how 304 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,200 pleased all those kind ladies and gentlemen would be if 305 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,200 they knew we were the poor children they gave the 306 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:28,480 shillings and sixpences and things for. We all said what 307 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:34,960 it was no moment for politeness, I say, Aho said, 308 00:17:35,319 --> 00:17:37,000 they'd be glad if they knew it was us was 309 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:40,240 enjoying the pudding and not dirty little, really poor children. 310 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,640 You should say you were not you, was said Dora. 311 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,799 But it was as in a dream, and only from 312 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:51,960 habit do you mean to say? Oswald spoke firmly, yet 313 00:17:52,039 --> 00:17:55,160 not angrily, that you and Alice went and begged for 314 00:17:55,240 --> 00:18:00,440 money for poor children and then kept it. We didn't 315 00:18:00,519 --> 00:18:05,759 keep it, said Acho, we spent it. We've kept the things, 316 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,240 you little duffer, said Dickie, looking at the pudding sitting 317 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,440 alone and uncared for on its dish. You begged for 318 00:18:12,519 --> 00:18:16,279 money for poor children and then kept it. It's stealing, 319 00:18:16,319 --> 00:18:19,440 that's what it is. I don't say so much about you. 320 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,519 You're only a silly kid. But Alice knew better. Why 321 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:26,359 did you do it? He turned to Alice, but she 322 00:18:26,519 --> 00:18:29,920 was now too deep in tears to get a word out. 323 00:18:30,319 --> 00:18:33,039 Aho looked a bit frightened, but he answered the question. 324 00:18:33,559 --> 00:18:36,640 We have taught him this, he said. I thought they'd 325 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,839 give us more if I said poor children than if 326 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:44,720 I said just us. That's cheating, said Dickie. Downright, beastly mean, 327 00:18:44,839 --> 00:18:50,880 low cheating. I'm not, said Achho, and you're another. Then 328 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,480 he began to cry too. I do not know how 329 00:18:54,519 --> 00:18:57,799 the others felt, but I understand from Oswald that he 330 00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,920 felt that now the honor of the House of Basket 331 00:19:00,319 --> 00:19:02,759 had been stamped on in the dust, and it didn't 332 00:19:02,759 --> 00:19:06,039 matter what happened. He looked at the beastly holly that 333 00:19:06,079 --> 00:19:08,200 had been left over from the sauce and was stuck 334 00:19:08,279 --> 00:19:11,720 up over the pictures. It now appeared hollow and disgusting, 335 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:14,359 though it had got quite a lot of berries, and 336 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,480 some of it was the varied kind, green and white. 337 00:19:17,759 --> 00:19:20,359 The figs and dates and toffee were set out in 338 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,720 a doll's dinner service. The very side of it all 339 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:27,279 made Oswald blush sickly. He owns he would have liked 340 00:19:27,279 --> 00:19:30,200 to cuff h O. And if he did, for a 341 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,200 moment wish to shake Alice the author, for one can 342 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:38,160 make allowances. Now. Alice choked and spluttered and wiped her 343 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,640 eyes fiercely, and said, it's no use ragging, h O. 344 00:19:42,039 --> 00:19:46,119 It's my fault. I'm older than he is. Ho said 345 00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:49,039 it couldn't be Alice's fault. I don't see as it 346 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:54,440 was wrong that, not, as murmured Dora, putting her arm 347 00:19:54,519 --> 00:19:57,119 round the sinner who had brought this degrading blight upon 348 00:19:57,119 --> 00:20:00,680 our family tree. But such sheers girls, a determined, an 349 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:05,319 affectionate silliness, tell sist all about it. Ho, dear, why 350 00:20:05,319 --> 00:20:09,720 couldn't it be Alice's fault? Aho cuddled up to Dora 351 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,319 and said, snufflingly in his nose, because she hadn't got 352 00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:16,000 nothing to do with it. I collected it all. She 353 00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:18,640 never went into one of the houses. She didn't want to, 354 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,559 and then took all the credit of getting the money, 355 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:29,480 said Dickie savagely. Oswald said, not much credit in scornful tones. 356 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,400 Oh you are beastly, the whole lot of you, except Dora, 357 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,720 Alice said, stamping her foot in rage and despair. I 358 00:20:38,799 --> 00:20:41,000 tore my frock on a nail going out, and I 359 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,240 didn't want to go back, and I got ho to 360 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,960 go to the houses alone, and I waited for him outside, 361 00:20:46,519 --> 00:20:48,240 and I asked him not to say anything, because I 362 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,359 didn't want Dora to know about the frock. It's my 363 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,559 best and I don't know what he said inside. He 364 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,559 never told me, but I'll bet anything he didn't mean 365 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:00,759 to cheat. You said, lots of fine people will be 366 00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:03,039 ready to give money to get pudding for poor children, 367 00:21:03,319 --> 00:21:08,000 so I asked them to. Oswald, with his strong right hand, 368 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:12,519 waved a wave of passing things over. We'll talk about 369 00:21:12,519 --> 00:21:16,119 that another time, he said. Just now, we've got weightier 370 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:20,119 things to deal with. He pointed to the pudding, which 371 00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:23,000 had grown cold during the conversation to which I have alluded. 372 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:28,000 Aho stopped crying, but Alice went on with it. Oswald 373 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:32,200 now said, we're a base and outcast family. Until that 374 00:21:32,279 --> 00:21:34,480 pudding's out of the house, we shan't be able to 375 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:37,279 look anyone in the face. We must see that that 376 00:21:37,319 --> 00:21:41,640 pudding goes to poor children, not grizzling, grumpy, whiney, piney 377 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:45,519 pretending poor children, but real poor ones, just as poor 378 00:21:45,559 --> 00:21:50,200 as they can stick. And the figs too, and the dates, 379 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:55,759 said Noel, with regretting tones. Every fig said Dickie sternly. 380 00:21:56,079 --> 00:22:01,160 Oswald is quite right. This honorable made us feel a 381 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:04,359 bit better. We hastily put on our best things, and 382 00:22:04,559 --> 00:22:07,000 washed ourselves a bit, and hurried out to find some 383 00:22:07,079 --> 00:22:10,200 really poor people to give the pudding to. We cut 384 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,559 it in slices ready and put it in a basket 385 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,359 with the figs and dates and toffee. We would not 386 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:17,400 let h O come with us at first, because he 387 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:20,359 wanted to, and Alice would not come because of him. 388 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:24,279 So at last we had to let him. The excitement 389 00:22:24,279 --> 00:22:26,839 of tearing into your best things heals the hurt that 390 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:30,359 wounded on a feels, as the poetry writer said, or 391 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,839 at any rate, it makes the hurt feel better. We 392 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,920 went out into the streets. They were pretty quiet. Nearly 393 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,680 everybody was eating its Christmas dessert. But presently we met 394 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:46,400 a woman in an apron. Oswald said, very politely, please, 395 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,359 are you a poor person? And she told us to 396 00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:52,799 get along with us. The next we met was a 397 00:22:52,839 --> 00:22:56,160 shabby man with a hole in his left boot. Again, 398 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,720 Oswald said, please, are you a poor person? And have 399 00:22:59,799 --> 00:23:03,160 you any poor little children? The man told us not 400 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,319 to come any of our games with him, or we 401 00:23:05,319 --> 00:23:08,599 should laugh on the wrong side of our faces. We 402 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,480 went on sadly. We had no heart to stop and 403 00:23:11,559 --> 00:23:13,960 explain to him that we had no games to come. 404 00:23:15,839 --> 00:23:18,680 The next was a young man near the obelisk. Dora 405 00:23:18,799 --> 00:23:22,440 tried this time. She said, oh, if you please, we've 406 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,839 got some Christmas pudding in this basket, and if you're 407 00:23:24,839 --> 00:23:28,119 a poor person you can have some poor as job, 408 00:23:28,599 --> 00:23:30,920 said the young man in a hoarse voice, and he 409 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,799 had to come up out of a red comforter to 410 00:23:32,839 --> 00:23:35,599 say it. We gave him a slice of the pudding 411 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,880 and he bit into it without thanks or delay. The 412 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,000 next minute he had thrown the pudding slap in Dora's 413 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,359 face and was clutching Dicky by the collar. BlimE me, 414 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,039 if I don't chuck you in the river. The whole 415 00:23:48,039 --> 00:23:52,839 blooming lot of you, he exclaimed. The girl screamed, the 416 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:56,359 boys shouted, and though Oswald threw himself on the insulter 417 00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:59,000 of his sister with all his manly vigor. Yet but 418 00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,400 for a friend of Oswald who was in the police 419 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,680 passing at that instant, the author shudders to think what 420 00:24:04,799 --> 00:24:07,359 might have happened. For he was a strong young man, 421 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,680 and Oswald is not yet come to his full strength. 422 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:14,000 And the quaggy runs all too near. Our policemen led 423 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,119 our assailant aside, and we waited anxiously as he told 424 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:21,160 us to. After long uncertain moments, the young man in 425 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:25,880 the comforter loafed off, grumbling, and our policeman turned to us, said, 426 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,160 you give him a dollar pudding and a toasted of 427 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:32,240 soap and hair oil. I suppose the hair oil must 428 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,440 have been the brown winseriness of the soap coming out. 429 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,480 We were sorry, but it was still our duty to 430 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:40,640 get rid of the pudding. The quaggy was handy, it 431 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,200 is true, but when you have collected money to feed 432 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,039 poor children and spent it on pudding, it is not 433 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,079 right to throw that pudding in the river. People did 434 00:24:49,079 --> 00:24:52,519 not subscribe shillings and sixpences and half crowns to feed 435 00:24:52,519 --> 00:24:56,599 a hungry flood with Christmas pudding. Yet we shrank from 436 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,359 asking any more people whether they were poor persons or 437 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:02,480 about their famis, and still more from offering the pudding 438 00:25:02,519 --> 00:25:04,920 to chance people who might bite into it and taste 439 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,440 the soap. Before we had time to get away, it 440 00:25:08,599 --> 00:25:12,079 was Alice, the most paralyzed with disgrace of all of us, 441 00:25:12,319 --> 00:25:15,920 who thought of the best idea. She said, let's take 442 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,720 it to the workhouse. At any rate, they're all poor there, 443 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,240 and they mayn't go out without leave, so they can't 444 00:25:21,319 --> 00:25:23,559 run after us to do anything to us after the pudding. 445 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:25,720 No one would give them leave to go out to 446 00:25:25,759 --> 00:25:28,599 pursue people who had brought them pudding and wreck vengeance 447 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:30,880 on them. And at any rate we shall get rid 448 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,680 of the conscience pudding. It's a sort of conscience money, 449 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:38,000 you know. Only it isn't money, but pudding. The workhouse 450 00:25:38,079 --> 00:25:40,279 is a good way. But we stuck to it, though 451 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,559 very cold and hungrier than we thought possible when we started, 452 00:25:44,039 --> 00:25:46,599 for we had been so agitated we had not even 453 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,160 stayed to eat the plane pudding. Our good father had 454 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:53,359 so kindly and thoughtfully ordered for our Christmas dinner. The 455 00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:55,599 big bell at the workhouse made a man open the 456 00:25:55,599 --> 00:25:59,079 door to us when we rang it, Oswald said, And 457 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,039 he spoke because he is next eldest to Dora, and 458 00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,680 she had had jolly well enough of saying anything about pudding. 459 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,759 He said, please, we've brought some pudding for the poor people. 460 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,119 He looked us up and down, and he looked at 461 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,519 our basket. Then he said, you'd better see the matron. 462 00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:20,200 We waited in a hall, feeling more and more uncomfy, 463 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,319 and less and less like Christmas. We were very cold, indeed, 464 00:26:24,559 --> 00:26:27,759 especially our hands and our noses, and we felt less 465 00:26:27,799 --> 00:26:30,119 and less able to face the matron if she was horrid, 466 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:32,599 and one of us at least wished we had chosen 467 00:26:32,599 --> 00:26:35,119 the quaggy for the pudding's long home, and made it 468 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,960 up to the robbed paw in some other way. Afterwards, 469 00:26:39,319 --> 00:26:42,079 just as Alice was saying earnestly in the burning cold 470 00:26:42,079 --> 00:26:44,920 ear of Oswald, let's put down the basket and make 471 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:48,799 a bolt for it, Oh, Oswald, let's a lady came 472 00:26:48,839 --> 00:26:52,279 along the passage. She was very upright, and she had 473 00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:55,720 eyes that went through you like blue gimlets. I should 474 00:26:55,759 --> 00:26:57,720 not like to be obliged to thwart that lady if 475 00:26:57,759 --> 00:27:00,920 she had any design, and mine was opposite. I'm glad 476 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:04,880 this is not likely to occur. She said, what's all 477 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:09,079 this about a pudding? Acho said at once, before we 478 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:11,640 could stop him, they say, I've stolen the pudding, so 479 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,599 we've brought her here for the poor people. No we didn't. 480 00:27:14,799 --> 00:27:17,519 That wasn't why the money was given. It was meant 481 00:27:17,559 --> 00:27:20,480 for the poor. Shut our, Pacho said, the rest of 482 00:27:20,599 --> 00:27:24,240 us all at once. Then there was an awful silence. 483 00:27:25,519 --> 00:27:28,160 The lady gimleted us again, one by one with her 484 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:32,319 blue eyes. Then she said, come into my room. You 485 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:36,240 all look frozen. She took us into a very jolly 486 00:27:36,319 --> 00:27:38,720 room with velvet curtains and a big fire, and the 487 00:27:38,759 --> 00:27:42,079 gas lighted because now it was almost dark even out 488 00:27:42,079 --> 00:27:46,279 of doors. She gave us chairs, and Oswald felt as 489 00:27:46,319 --> 00:27:48,759 if his was a dock. He felt so criminal, and 490 00:27:48,839 --> 00:27:52,640 the lady looked so judgular. Then she took the arm 491 00:27:52,759 --> 00:27:56,319 chair by the fire herself and said, who's the eldest 492 00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:01,039 I am, said Dora, looking more like frightened white rabbit 493 00:28:01,079 --> 00:28:04,319 than I've ever seen her. Then tell me all about it. 494 00:28:05,759 --> 00:28:09,440 Dora looked at Alice and began to cry. That slab 495 00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:12,240 of pudding in the face had totally unnerved the gentle girl. 496 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,839 Alice's eyes were red and her face was puffy with crying, 497 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,920 but she spoke up for Dora and said, oh, please, 498 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:22,640 let Oswald tell Dora. Can't she's tired with the long walk? 499 00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:24,599 And a young man threw a piece of it in 500 00:28:24,599 --> 00:28:29,279 her face, and the lady nodded, and Oswald began. He 501 00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,440 told the story from the very beginning, as he has 502 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:34,319 always been taught to, though he hated to lay bare 503 00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,559 the family honour's wound before a stranger. However, judge like 504 00:28:37,599 --> 00:28:41,880 and gimlet eyed, he told all, not concealing the pudding 505 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,519 throwing nor what the young man had said about soap. 506 00:28:46,119 --> 00:28:49,200 So he ended, we want to give the conscience pudding 507 00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,920 to you. It's like conscience money. You know what that is, 508 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,559 don't you. But if you really think it is soapy 509 00:28:55,759 --> 00:28:58,440 and not just the young man's horridness, perhaps you'd better 510 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,640 not let them meet it. But the pigs and things 511 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:04,920 we all right. When he had done, the lady said, 512 00:29:05,359 --> 00:29:08,400 for most of us were crying more or less, come 513 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:12,000 cheer up. It's Christmas time and he's very little your brother, 514 00:29:12,079 --> 00:29:14,000 I mean, and I think the rest of you seem 515 00:29:14,039 --> 00:29:15,960 pretty well able to take care of the honor of 516 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,920 the family. I'll take the conscience pudding off your minds. 517 00:29:19,519 --> 00:29:24,480 Where are you going now home, I suppose, Oswald said, 518 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,119 And he thought, how nasty and dark and dull it 519 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:30,559 would be. The fire out most lightly and farther away. 520 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,559 And your father's not at home, you say, The blue 521 00:29:35,599 --> 00:29:38,400 Gimlet lady went on, what do you say to having 522 00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:40,839 tea with me? And then seeing the entertainment we have 523 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:44,720 got up for our old people. Then the lady smiled, 524 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:48,880 and the blue Gimlets looked quite merry. The room was 525 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:51,960 so warm and comfortable, and the invitation was the last 526 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,960 thing we expected. It was jolly of her. I do 527 00:29:55,039 --> 00:29:58,880 think no one thought quite at first of saying how 528 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:02,480 pleased we should be took accept her kind invitation. Instead 529 00:30:02,519 --> 00:30:05,839 we all just said, oh, but in a tone which 530 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:11,519 must have told her we meant yes, please very deeply. Oswald, 531 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,440 this has more than once happened, was the first to 532 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,400 restore his manners. He made a proper bow, like he 533 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:20,480 has been toured, and said, thank you very much. We 534 00:30:20,519 --> 00:30:22,759 should like it very much. It is very much nicer 535 00:30:22,759 --> 00:30:26,519 than going home. Thank you very much. I need not 536 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:28,920 tell the reader that Oswald could have made up a 537 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,279 much better speech if he had had more time to 538 00:30:31,319 --> 00:30:33,440 make it up in or if he had not been 539 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:37,319 so filled with mixed flusteredness and purification by the shameful 540 00:30:37,319 --> 00:30:41,200 events of the day. We washed our faces and hands 541 00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,960 and had a first rate muffin and crumpet tea, with 542 00:30:44,079 --> 00:30:47,119 slices of cold meats and many nice jams and cakes. 543 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,400 A lot of other people were there, most of them 544 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,720 people who were giving the entertainment to the aged poor. 545 00:30:54,359 --> 00:30:58,720 After tea, it was the entertainment songs and conjuring and 546 00:30:58,759 --> 00:31:01,880 a play called Box and very amusing, and a lot 547 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:05,279 of throwing things about in it, bacon and chops and things, 548 00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:08,920 and nigger minstrels. We clapped till our hands were sore. 549 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,039 When it was over, we said goodbye. In between the 550 00:31:13,119 --> 00:31:15,599 songs and things, Oswald had had time to make up 551 00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:18,920 a speech of thanks to the lady. He said, we 552 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,279 all thank you heartily for your goodness. The entertainment was beautiful. 553 00:31:22,519 --> 00:31:26,960 We shall never forget your kindness and hospitableness. The lady 554 00:31:27,039 --> 00:31:29,559 laughed and said she had been very pleased to have us, 555 00:31:30,599 --> 00:31:34,079 A fat gentleman said, and your teas, I hope you 556 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:38,319 enjoyed those. Eh Oswald had not had time to make 557 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,799 up an answer to that, so he answered straight from 558 00:31:40,799 --> 00:31:45,480 the heart and said rather, And every one laughed and 559 00:31:45,519 --> 00:31:48,000 slapped us boys on the back and kissed the girls. 560 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,480 And the gentleman who played the bones in the Nigger 561 00:31:50,519 --> 00:31:53,799 Minstrel saw us home. We ate the cold pudding that night, 562 00:31:54,279 --> 00:31:57,160 and Ho dreamed that something came to eat him, like 563 00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,799 it advises you to in the advertisements on the hoardings. 564 00:32:01,279 --> 00:32:03,480 The grown up said it was the pudding, But I 565 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,640 don't think it could have been that, because, as I 566 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,279 have said more than once, it was so very plain. 567 00:32:10,119 --> 00:32:12,640 Some of Ho's brothers and sisters thought it was a 568 00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:15,720 judgment on him for pretending about who the poor children 569 00:32:15,759 --> 00:32:19,480 were he was collecting the money for. Oswald's not believe 570 00:32:19,559 --> 00:32:21,680 such a little boy as h O would have a 571 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,839 real judgment made just for him and nobody else whatever 572 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:29,440 he did. But it certainly is odd. Ho was the 573 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:32,400 only one who had bad dreams, and he was also 574 00:32:32,799 --> 00:32:34,680 the only one who got any of the things we 575 00:32:34,759 --> 00:32:38,119 bought with that ill gotten money, because you remember he 576 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,200 picked a hole in a raisin paper as he was 577 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,640 bringing the parcel home. The rest of us had nothing 578 00:32:44,079 --> 00:32:46,680 unless you count the scrapings of the pudding basin, and 579 00:32:46,759 --> 00:32:52,400 those don't really count at all. End of the conscience. 580 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,400 Pudding by EN's Pitt