Speaker 1: It's Night Side with Dan Ray WBZ Costs Radio.
Speaker 2: I do just want to take a minute before we
Speaker 2: get to our guest in the nine o'clock hour to
Speaker 2: thank Pat Boone, singer, actor, songwriter and philanthropist. His organization
Speaker 2: that I would highly recommend you check out is One
Speaker 2: for Tanzania All one word O N E F O
Speaker 2: R Tanzania t A n z A nia dot org.
Speaker 2: And that is a country in Africa which is in
Speaker 2: need of fresh water for their children of that country.
Speaker 2: And I just thought it's amazing that Pat Boone is
Speaker 2: able to do this. And for those of you who
Speaker 2: might not remember Pat Boone, before Elvis Presley, there was
Speaker 2: Pat Boone, and Pat Boone was very famous American singer
Speaker 2: performer and continued for decades and now at the young
Speaker 2: age of ninety is sounding just as good as he
Speaker 2: ever did and trying to help eliminate not hunger, but
Speaker 2: thirst something as simple as water in the nation of Tanzania. Now,
Speaker 2: if any of you need that, Rob has written down
Speaker 2: that One for Tanzania dot org. And I really appreciate
Speaker 2: if you checked out that website and if you were
Speaker 2: so inclined help help them out a little bit. Now
Speaker 2: we want to talk about a different topic. And as
Speaker 2: children in Tanzania literally have no fresh water, I mean,
Speaker 2: as Pat Boone described it, children in America, young children,
Speaker 2: the vast majority of whom can get fresh water just
Speaker 2: by opening up the faucet at their home, find themselves,
Speaker 2: in some cases as young as the age of seven.
Speaker 2: Focused on their image with us is Kelly Shop. She's
Speaker 2: a licensed pediatric occupational therapist, and Kelly's very much involved.
Speaker 2: We had Kelly with us about ten or twelve days
Speaker 2: ago on the show, maybe two weeks ago actually during
Speaker 2: the eight o'clock hour, and I thought it would be
Speaker 2: great to have her back because I think that some
Speaker 2: of you might want to talk to her about this question,
Speaker 2: particularly if you have young children or grandchildren. Kelly Shop,
Speaker 2: welcome back to Night's Side. Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 2: How are you tonight?
Speaker 3: Thank you, I'm great. Thanks for having me. I'm excited
Speaker 3: to be here.
Speaker 2: Well, we're excited to have you. And how big a
Speaker 2: problem is this? By the way, you're a licensed pediatric
Speaker 2: occupational therapist. That's a long title. Normally, when you think
Speaker 2: about occupational therapists, you think about adults who have been
Speaker 2: injured and they need to get some occupational therapy. How
Speaker 2: does the the adjective I understand the adjective license, but
Speaker 2: how you're a pediatric occupational therapist, So who do you
Speaker 2: normally work with young children who have had physical injuries?
Speaker 2: Is that? Is that your interest in children or your yeah?
Speaker 3: So my yeah, So my passion is for kids and
Speaker 3: any limitations or weaknesses or deficits they have with what
Speaker 3: their occupation is at, which is their job at the moment.
Speaker 3: Anything that occupies their time has value or meaning for them.
Speaker 3: So for kids, it's school, it's you know, social and
Speaker 3: emotional interactions with their parents, with their siblings, with their friends.
Speaker 3: It's learning how to independently tie their shoe, you know,
Speaker 3: make their bed. It's all of the activities and skills
Speaker 3: that kids need to be healthy and functioning well in
Speaker 3: whatever age they are in in their childhood development. And
Speaker 3: a lot of that looks like helping parents help their kids.
Speaker 3: So I help kids by helping their parents understand what's
Speaker 3: going on with their kids and how we can help
Speaker 3: them to do whatever they need to be doing.
Speaker 2: So helped me out a little bit, because when I
Speaker 2: think about occupational therapy, I think about someone who I
Speaker 2: don't know it was a carpenter has injured his hand,
Speaker 2: his hands or what our hand, and he has to
Speaker 2: get that hand back. Condition apply that concept which I
Speaker 2: think most of us understand to children. When children don't
Speaker 2: have occupations, they have obligations to go to school and
Speaker 2: things like that. Explain if you could just flush that
Speaker 2: out for me a little bit. I don't mean to
Speaker 2: be a painter that I care, but I really want
Speaker 2: to understand that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so a lot of just like the adult who had,
Speaker 3: you know, a condition or something that happened where he
Speaker 3: had a weakness or a deficit in his hand, needed
Speaker 3: to be rehabilitated and needed to get him back to
Speaker 3: an independent kind of normal functioning so he could be
Speaker 3: working again. So often kids are born or you know,
Speaker 3: three years old, we start to see certain weaknesses or
Speaker 3: deficits in the milestone skills that they are supposed to
Speaker 3: be exhibiting, Like you know, they're supposed to be crawling
Speaker 3: by this certain age, they should be walking by a year.
Speaker 3: And the way the world works now kids aren't doing
Speaker 3: the things that they would have been doing ten fifteen
Speaker 3: years ago normally. So what's typical for children now wasn't
Speaker 3: typical and it's not natural for the way that kids
Speaker 3: should be raised. So they aren't getting enough interaction with
Speaker 3: nature and using their hands and moving their bodies. Their
Speaker 3: food isn't as nourishing as it used to be. We
Speaker 3: have so many processed foods. Kids don't eat as healthy.
Speaker 3: They don't get as much sleep as they used to.
Speaker 3: They are in so many structured activities. They don't have
Speaker 3: a lot of downtime to just play and really get
Speaker 3: into understanding themselves, what they like to do, the rhythm
Speaker 3: and pace that they function well at. We've kind of
Speaker 3: sacrificed so many good childhood developmental things for this mindset
Speaker 3: of achievement accomplishment keep going. Our kids have to be busy,
Speaker 3: they have to operate at the same pace an adult does.
Speaker 3: But a child does not have a fully formed brain
Speaker 3: or body. They can't They don't have the capacity to
Speaker 3: do all the things that we are pushing them and
Speaker 3: pressuring them to do. And it's having massive impact.
Speaker 2: Okay, And then now we can drill down after the
Speaker 2: break on this concept of body image and when we
Speaker 2: talked before, and I now realize that your interest in
Speaker 2: your concern is quite broad and and and quite important.
Speaker 2: And and you're we have a two and a half
Speaker 2: year old grandson and he just wants to play and uh,
Speaker 2: and that wife is Yeah, my wife is much better
Speaker 2: with him because I'm always saying, well, why don't we,
Speaker 2: you know, sit down and teach him about math or
Speaker 2: I'm the guy that's that's trying to teach him this,
Speaker 2: teach him that or whatever. And she's much better at this,
Speaker 2: probably much better as a parent and a grandparent. But
Speaker 2: but I want to talk about the issue of kids
Speaker 2: as young as seven being concerned about body image. That's
Speaker 2: what I want to get to with you tonight. And
Speaker 2: my question what you're going to ask when we come back,
Speaker 2: is is it more with when we get into the
Speaker 2: younger age. I think about these honey Booboo competitions where
Speaker 2: they dress up these little four and five year old
Speaker 2: girls in with makeup and you know, so called mini
Speaker 2: beauty contests or whatever, And is that what's going on?
Speaker 2: Because this is this is an area that to me
Speaker 2: is frightening, frightening to think that children as young as
Speaker 2: seven more concerned about what they look like and what
Speaker 2: it's frightening. So we'll we'll get to all of that,
Speaker 2: I promise if any of you have questions for my guest,
Speaker 2: Kelly Shop, particularly if your parents today I'm no longer
Speaker 2: a parent, I'm a grandparent, you can give us a call.
Speaker 2: You know the number six one, seven, two, five four
Speaker 2: ten thirty or six one seven nine three one ten thirty.
Speaker 2: Will be back with Kelly Shop, a licensed pediatric occupational therapist,
Speaker 2: and I think that I have qualified her for all
Speaker 2: of you to understand the depth of her interest and experience.
Speaker 2: We're back on Nightside right after this.
Speaker 1: You're on night Side with Dan Ray on w Boston's
Speaker 1: news radio.
Speaker 2: Chuess is Kelly Srue. We're talking about body issues for children.
Speaker 2: So let me start off with the basic, the most basic.
Speaker 2: Does this question of body images for children? Is it
Speaker 2: impacting little boys as well as little girls? That's the
Speaker 2: first question.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's impacting both.
Speaker 2: Does it impact them in similar ways or or are
Speaker 2: is it different between the two genders.
Speaker 3: I would say it's a little more for girls. It
Speaker 3: impacts more, but it definitely impacts both, and it impacts
Speaker 3: them the same way. In that the world programming, the billboards,
Speaker 3: the TikTok things, the YouTube kids, what we see on
Speaker 3: TV is the ideal image for a boy or a girl,
Speaker 3: a man or a woman. And a lot of times
Speaker 3: we know that these images are they're photoshopped, or you
Speaker 3: know that the actor actress is you know, doesn't look
Speaker 3: like all the other moms at school. She is very
Speaker 3: fit and thin, and and so kids are getting the
Speaker 3: message by all the different screens that they look at
Speaker 3: that this is what I need to look at, I
Speaker 3: need to look like, this is what an ideal person
Speaker 3: looks like. And we have an obese nation, so we
Speaker 3: have a lot of kids who don't look like that,
Speaker 3: and they can.
Speaker 2: What I'm trying to get at here, and I'm trying
Speaker 2: to understand it. So kids as early as seven, boys
Speaker 2: and girls have been bombarded with images of the ideal
Speaker 2: what the ideal adult appears to be, whether it's you know,
Speaker 2: a male body builder or a female you know, beauty queen.
Speaker 4: Is that?
Speaker 2: Is that what we're talking about here is are these
Speaker 2: are the images? When? When is this this thought? How
Speaker 2: does it plant it in their heads? That's the first question.
Speaker 3: I think it comes from multiple places, but in my mind,
Speaker 3: it comes from the increase of screen use from everybody.
Speaker 3: You know, kids have access to screens in school, they're
Speaker 3: using iPads to research things. They're using iPads to do
Speaker 3: all of their work, and so they can access images
Speaker 3: and what people look like. And also because of that
Speaker 3: increase of screens, kids are more critical, judgmental, and harsh
Speaker 3: in commenting on their peers' appearance. And so cyberbullying is
Speaker 3: very real for very young kids that they are being
Speaker 3: told they are fat, you're fat, you're skinny, you've got
Speaker 3: big legs and various things, and so very early on,
Speaker 3: kids are understanding that their body does not look how
Speaker 3: it should look, or somebody has told them what is
Speaker 3: wrong with it.
Speaker 2: Of course, as an adult, I think to myself, if
Speaker 2: you're seven years old and you're a little shorter than
Speaker 2: the other kids in class, or a little heavier or whatever,
Speaker 2: or maybe you're wearing glasses, all of that will eventually
Speaker 2: kind of resolve itself. Now, kids probably don't understand what
Speaker 2: that means. They want to be the I guess, the
Speaker 2: best looking second grader in the class. Do they share
Speaker 2: that with their parents? Do you find or do they
Speaker 2: eternalize it? And then are the parents contributing to these
Speaker 2: aspirational stereotypes which are unrealistic?
Speaker 3: I think a lot of kids do internalize it because
Speaker 3: they realize their parents are busy and you know, they
Speaker 3: come home from school and life's happening. Maybe they go
Speaker 3: to soccer practice or piano practice, and parents have been
Speaker 3: working and so there's not a lot of time. I
Speaker 3: feel like so many parents these days are rushed and
Speaker 3: they don't spend enough time being really intentional and engaging,
Speaker 3: aged and looking for clues and cues from their kids
Speaker 3: that something could be amiss. And and so a lot
Speaker 3: of kids, yes, they do feel and it's all about
Speaker 3: they want to fit in. They want to belong. They
Speaker 3: want to feel like they have a spot. And you
Speaker 3: are told that you're too slow, or you're too fat,
Speaker 3: or you're too miss or to that. A lot of
Speaker 3: times they don't fit in, and so that's, you know,
Speaker 3: so what they don't.
Speaker 2: I want to amplify on this on the other side
Speaker 2: of the news break here, but you mentioned it, and
Speaker 2: I don't want to slide by it. If parents are
Speaker 2: not seeing the signs that their child is dealing with
Speaker 2: some sort of an issue, what are the signs that
Speaker 2: if the parent is trying to make a living and
Speaker 2: all of that, and are they not paying attention. What
Speaker 2: should what should parents be looking for?
Speaker 3: Well, in the first place, parents should be proactive on
Speaker 3: the front end about how they talk about their bodies
Speaker 3: and the language that's used in their family home. So
Speaker 3: I recommend talking about being fit, being fit for your
Speaker 3: unique body, and that looks different. You might have a
Speaker 3: sibling that their body is made differently, so it's going
Speaker 3: to look different on them. But instead of talk about
Speaker 3: being skinny or fat, or we're talking about being healthy
Speaker 3: and fit and at every age. Right, I have to
Speaker 3: be healthy and fit at fifty four, and that looks
Speaker 3: different than what healthy and fit look like at twenty four.
Speaker 3: And how we model appreciation, exercising our own body, eating well,
Speaker 3: getting enough sleep. So there's a lot of proactive things
Speaker 3: that we can do in our house to minimize that.
Speaker 3: You know, we're going to not focus on being skinny.
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter what the billboard looks like. Because you're
Speaker 3: healthy and fit for an eight year old little boy,
Speaker 3: you're great, you can run, you can keep up with
Speaker 3: your classmates, you're doing all the things that you need
Speaker 3: to do well. That's what we're focused on.
Speaker 2: And then you're talking there about positive encouragement.
Speaker 4: I get that yeah.
Speaker 2: But even if the parent is trying to encourage the
Speaker 2: child positively, if the child, for whatever reason, which I'm
Speaker 2: sure happens, tumbes the parent out and is more focused
Speaker 2: on fitting in with the kids at school, and fitting
Speaker 2: in at the kids at school makes them focus on
Speaker 2: their physical appearance. Are the signs that parents can see
Speaker 2: with the chat with their child that maybe as much
Speaker 2: as they're trying to talk to them about being fit
Speaker 2: and healthy, that's not the focus of the child. I mean,
Speaker 2: the fact that they're staying in their room, the fact
Speaker 2: that they're not communicating. Are there some signs that the
Speaker 2: child can display to the parents that the parents can
Speaker 2: pick up on and realize that they need to talk
Speaker 2: a little more about this to the child.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, So that's one way is if your child
Speaker 3: seems more withdrawn, seems to be isolating obviously, if your
Speaker 3: child is making changes in their diet what they're eating,
Speaker 3: or seem to be more controlling and you know, not
Speaker 3: eating things that you know that they like that they're
Speaker 3: trying to eliminate. If your child is asking you things
Speaker 3: about their body, you know, mom, do you think my
Speaker 3: face is too fat? Like they're they'll be asking their parents.
Speaker 3: They're trying to get more validation that something could be
Speaker 3: wrong with them or maybe not.
Speaker 2: We're at our nine thirty newsbreak, so I got to
Speaker 2: do that and we can amplify on that a little bit.
Speaker 2: And I have some other questions, but I'm sure our
Speaker 2: audience also wants to ask questions, so I will make
Speaker 2: them aware that they can call, they can ask whatever
Speaker 2: questions they want. As I often said that there's no
Speaker 2: dumb question. The dumb questions are the ones that you
Speaker 2: don't have the courage to ask. I learned that when
Speaker 2: I was in college and law school. A question, Yes,
Speaker 2: that's the one that comes up on the final exam
Speaker 2: of the midterm six one, seven, two, five, four, ten
Speaker 2: thirty six one seven, nine three one, ten thirty. Back
Speaker 2: on night Side right after this with my guest, licensed
Speaker 2: pediatric occupational therapist Kelly shop talking about body issues for children,
Speaker 2: young children as young as seven or eight years old.
Speaker 2: Back on night Side, right after the news at the
Speaker 2: bottom of the arra of my Name's Dan Ray listening
Speaker 2: to the Nightside and WBZ Boston's Boston's news station ten
Speaker 2: thirty on your AM dial.
Speaker 1: Night Side with Dan Ray ONBZ Boston's News Radio.
Speaker 2: My guest is Kelly Trup. She's a licensed pediatric occupational therapist.
Speaker 2: We're talking about body issues for kids, for children, young people,
Speaker 2: young children as young as seven. Is that really the
Speaker 2: age when this first starts to impact people? Is it
Speaker 2: because they have now kind of grown out of the
Speaker 2: baby days and the toddler days, and now they're in school,
Speaker 2: you know, one hundred and eighty days a year or
Speaker 2: whatever with other children, and this little conversations that are
Speaker 2: going on in the school bus about what child looks
Speaker 2: this way and that way. Is that sort of what
Speaker 2: percolates it gets it going or am I?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it is. It does have to do with
Speaker 3: the age and stage of development.
Speaker 5: Of the child.
Speaker 3: And so a seven year old has had their eyes
Speaker 3: opened more socially and they're making, you know, their their
Speaker 3: friendships matter more. And so all of the comments that
Speaker 3: might have been happening when they were four or five
Speaker 3: they weren't listening, but now right over.
Speaker 6: Their head, yeah, and over their head.
Speaker 2: Okay, And I assume that now it's more beginning to
Speaker 2: become more cool to be to be liked by your friends,
Speaker 2: and less cool you're less reliant upon the wisdom that
Speaker 2: mom and dad might have for you.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, your dad might have great wisdom, but your
Speaker 3: dad's not with you from eight thirty in the morning
Speaker 3: until three fifteen, and so if you aren't fitting in,
Speaker 3: it can feel really lonely. And kids are meeting these days.
Speaker 2: Oh please, I've seen stories here where young girls. There
Speaker 2: was one I'm thinking of in central Massachusetts who were
Speaker 2: so badly bullied she committed suicide. This was a huge
Speaker 2: story here in Massachusetts about ten years ago. Yes, just
Speaker 2: we have some callers. I'd like to get to some
Speaker 2: callers and incorporate them, and we'll continue, I hope by
Speaker 2: when we finished this hour, you can refer us maybe
Speaker 2: to either some books or some websites where parents and
Speaker 2: grandparents can go to get some help for their kids.
Speaker 2: And we haven't even touched upon these four and five
Speaker 2: year old beauty contests, which to me are the absolute,
Speaker 2: the weirdest manifestation of exactly what we're talking about.
Speaker 6: I think, yeah, agreed, what we're talking about there.
Speaker 2: Let's go too. Dorena is in Chelsea. Doren I appreciate you.
Speaker 2: I've been very patient. You've held on. You were first
Speaker 2: this hour with Kelly shop talking about body issues for children.
Speaker 5: Go ahead, Dorian, Hi, Dan, and Hi, Kelly, Hey, Hi,
Speaker 5: I just I just turned the phone on it, and
Speaker 5: I'm very very I says, I have to call in
Speaker 5: no matter what, if I'm right or wrong. I when
Speaker 5: I was a little little girl, I always leaned towards
Speaker 5: my father's word more than my mother's. I trusted my
Speaker 5: father more than my mother.
Speaker 1: Why is that?
Speaker 2: I don't know that that's a question that Kelly's uh
Speaker 2: gonna want to answer or qualified. I mean, uh, Kelly,
Speaker 2: you probably know about more about this than I do.
Speaker 2: Little there were many little girls who daddies, you know,
Speaker 2: make a big meal, little girl, daddy.
Speaker 5: Little girl.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, go ahead, Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 4: That's what I thought.
Speaker 2: Nice, she probably knows more about it than you and
Speaker 2: me during Kelly, or that beyond your scope of specialty.
Speaker 3: Well, it depends, but I would I would say that
Speaker 3: my experience would say that a lot of times mothers
Speaker 3: have expectations as females of what we want our daughters
Speaker 3: to look like and be like. And some of these
Speaker 3: expectations are unknown, unintentionally put upon our kids that were
Speaker 3: established when we were growing up as children. And so
Speaker 3: but there is a dynamic between a mom and her
Speaker 3: daughter and how they look, and the focus on their
Speaker 3: appearance and the way they present and their mannerisms and things,
Speaker 3: a lot of outwork focus. That is just kind of
Speaker 3: how we were conditioned. And so I'm wondering if that's
Speaker 3: part of it, and if maybe your dad was just
Speaker 3: more understanding and he didn't you know, he wouldn't have
Speaker 3: had that expectation because he wasn't a female like you.
Speaker 2: Did that make any sense story?
Speaker 1: It does?
Speaker 5: But the only thing was it was always.
Speaker 1: A weighty issue.
Speaker 5: What you like? You said body image weight Yes, so.
Speaker 2: Your mom was. So what you're saying is your mom
Speaker 2: was critical of you.
Speaker 5: Well, well not as much as my father was. But
Speaker 5: they both loved me because I am their daughter. I
Speaker 5: was the first daughter in the family.
Speaker 6: I come from a daughter of six children.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 5: And the thing was she always pressed the issue. She
Speaker 5: all this is crazy.
Speaker 4: But I'm going to tell you.
Speaker 2: Well, I think during during, I think we're at the
Speaker 2: reservation here. I think we're getting too deep into your
Speaker 2: relationship with your parents. And I don't know it has
Speaker 2: anything to do with body imaging.
Speaker 6: I think it it does. It has it's a.
Speaker 1: It's about a way issue.
Speaker 2: Okay, kid, get right to it, because I got a
Speaker 2: whole bunch of callers and I don't want to short
Speaker 2: change them, all right, Okay.
Speaker 5: I was I was always I was always a plus
Speaker 5: size Okay, and uh, I just.
Speaker 4: Can't help it.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna put my body images. Your bone structure has
Speaker 5: to do with bone structure and your hereditary and the cells.
Speaker 5: That's what it's got to do with it. Okay, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean.
Speaker 2: During during I appreciate your call, I really do. But
Speaker 2: unless you can pose a question to my guest who's
Speaker 2: an expert in this area, If you can pose a question, great,
Speaker 2: But but if you can't, I'm going to have to
Speaker 2: move on. Do you have a question for Kelly about
Speaker 2: your upringing? Go ahead. If you've got a.
Speaker 1: Question, well, what it's about health, Dorian work.
Speaker 2: With me, please?
Speaker 3: Yeah, So, Dorian, I would just say that you know
Speaker 3: you can't your parents were doing the best that they
Speaker 3: could with what they had, and so in how you
Speaker 3: operate now, and I don't know if you have kids
Speaker 3: or you have brand kids, but for you to just
Speaker 3: have the mindset of it's all about being fit, because
Speaker 3: what you experienced based on your body type and your
Speaker 3: body frame and all of that. It sounds like that
Speaker 3: wasn't the message that you were sent, that your unique
Speaker 3: frame and body makeup looks different than everybody else's. And
Speaker 3: so going forward from today, you can adopt that mindset
Speaker 3: right now, like, I'm not going to compare myself to
Speaker 3: any of my siblings or anybody else because God made
Speaker 3: me unique with my own unique makeup look and phone
Speaker 3: structure and all of that. And my job is just
Speaker 3: to be fit and healthy and active whatever age you
Speaker 3: are today, and to send that message to the others
Speaker 3: in your family or the people that you impact in
Speaker 3: the world right now. Does that help?
Speaker 5: I'm not. I don't judge people, Kelly, because I had.
Speaker 2: Very much for the call, Dorian. I appreciate all very much.
Speaker 2: We've got to move on.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 2: I'm a little frustrated, as you can tell. And I go.
Speaker 2: We had a tough night with callers last night. And
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, folks, if you want to call and
Speaker 2: ask a question, great, But if you want to call
Speaker 2: and tell us your life story, that's not what Kelly
Speaker 2: is here to do. Let me go next to Alison Beverly,
Speaker 2: Alice next on and I said with Kelly shoot gruadhead Alice.
Speaker 7: Yes, I am a school nurse and it was in
Speaker 7: pre k through high school, so we had all ages.
Speaker 7: And I just wonder what Kelly thinks about I was
Speaker 7: a propos of school uniforms. I don't think that solves
Speaker 7: the problem, but then there's not as much maybe you know, competition.
Speaker 7: And then also what I'm thinking, and I don't know
Speaker 7: what she thinks about the fact that certain sports are
Speaker 7: there's certain activities in school that are the more popular
Speaker 7: ones that they that I think that they need to
Speaker 7: like find out what the kids that are like left
Speaker 7: out that you know, the arts and theater things like
Speaker 7: that are things that should be looked at because everybody
Speaker 7: is not a gymnast or a football player.
Speaker 3: Or yeah, yeah, no, I totally agree. You've got great questions.
Speaker 3: So I agree with you on the uniforms. I think
Speaker 3: that they help take the focus off of the individual
Speaker 3: dressing and that can get competitive. And if everybody has
Speaker 3: a uniform, then the focus is taken off of the
Speaker 3: clothing that is on the child in school, and that
Speaker 3: is helpful. If there are kids who are larger and
Speaker 3: the uniform doesn't fit them. Well, they can still have
Speaker 3: stress and worry about that, but I think overall, the
Speaker 3: uniforms decrease set. So I'm for that, And then I
Speaker 3: love I totally agree that I think there needs to
Speaker 3: be more open mindedness about different activities for kids. And
Speaker 3: so I have a podcast called Making Sense of Parenting
Speaker 3: with Kelly Shoot and I have an episode on is
Speaker 3: your Kids Sporty? And it's all about sports. And my
Speaker 3: thought is that every child is sporty. We just have
Speaker 3: to find the right sport for them. So for some kids,
Speaker 3: they don't like contact, they don't want to be touched
Speaker 3: or hit or bumped into. So what sport can we
Speaker 3: find for them that they don't have to be touched?
Speaker 3: Is it golf? Is it, you know, rock climbing. There's
Speaker 3: a million different sports that aren't team sports where kids
Speaker 3: can be really successful and feel really strong and fit
Speaker 3: and active and confident, and that's so good for their
Speaker 3: self worth. And so yes, it can look like theater,
Speaker 3: it can look like all kinds of different things. And
Speaker 3: so I encourage parents, if your child doesn't like soccer
Speaker 3: or swimming or football, keep trying, keep exposing them to
Speaker 3: different things, because they will find something that they can
Speaker 3: do and that will be their thing, their sport, and
Speaker 3: that is so incredibly healthy for good childhood development.
Speaker 2: All right, great questions, Alie, Thank you so much for
Speaker 2: joining the conversation.
Speaker 6: Okay, have a great night.
Speaker 2: Thanks. Be back with my guest Kelly shop six one seven, two,
Speaker 2: five four ten thirty or six one seven, nine three
Speaker 2: ten thirty, coming right back on night Side.
Speaker 1: It's Night Side with Dan Ray on w Boston's news radio.
Speaker 2: We're talking with Kelly Shoe. She's a licensed pediatric occupational therapist,
Speaker 2: and we're talking about the issues of children, young children,
Speaker 2: kids seven years old, boys and girls who are more
Speaker 2: concerned about their looks, their appearances than anything else in
Speaker 2: their life. It's called body image issues. Let's go to
Speaker 2: Mike and Quinsy. Mike, you are next on night Side
Speaker 2: with Kelly Shop grdhead Mike.
Speaker 6: Heaym said, Dan Ray, how are you go ahead?
Speaker 2: I'm doing great. Say hi to my guest, Kelly Shoop.
Speaker 2: What's your comment of question? Mike?
Speaker 6: Uh, your first time calling?
Speaker 2: Oh, first time. We'll give you a round of applause
Speaker 2: as a first time caller. We'll get our digital studio
Speaker 2: audience up out of their seats and they go you
Speaker 2: got a studio. Go ahead, Michael, go right ahead.
Speaker 6: The reason why I'm calling because I used to have
Speaker 6: my daughter. I got divorced you seven years old, so
Speaker 6: I woke mother's hours and then raised that she's twenty
Speaker 6: seven years old. And my question to the therapist we
Speaker 6: went to the caraffe and everything. Right now, she's an
Speaker 6: FBA Asian. I just do not like the choices she's making.
Speaker 2: This again, Mike, I'm not sure that you're connecting with
Speaker 2: the guests. So your daughter, you said, is now an adult, right, yes, okay,
Speaker 2: And so your question, we're talking about kids who when
Speaker 2: they're very young, they are more kids as young as
Speaker 2: seven are more focused on their body type and if
Speaker 2: they don't fit that image of perfection, they changed their
Speaker 2: diet and they lose a lot, they lose a lot
Speaker 2: of their childhood. I'm more worrying about what they look
Speaker 2: like than what type of person they are. So if
Speaker 2: you have a question for Kelly that you think relates
Speaker 2: to that, go right ahead.
Speaker 6: Yeah, miss Kelly. What do I want to ask you
Speaker 6: is what is it I can't do improve her self
Speaker 6: esteem her personality to become more strong?
Speaker 2: Whose self esteem your daughter's self esteem? Yeah, well your daughter?
Speaker 2: How old your.
Speaker 6: Daughter right now? She's twenty seven and she's.
Speaker 2: An FBI agent. Yes, I suspect she has a very
Speaker 2: strong personality and that her self esteem is fine. Again,
Speaker 2: we're I think we're just a little about twenty years
Speaker 2: further down the line than what we're talking about. Kelly,
Speaker 2: do you want to give a shot at this? I'm
Speaker 2: more confused now than ever.
Speaker 3: I'm happy to try. So is this you feel like
Speaker 3: you need to be doing something specifically to help her
Speaker 3: self esteem?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 3: Is there? Does she have weight issues or body image
Speaker 3: concerns at twenty seven that you're aware of?
Speaker 2: Not at all, Not at all if she's an FBI agent, Mike,
Speaker 2: I think again, I hate to do this, but I
Speaker 2: think you and Doreen miss I have misunderstood what we're
Speaker 2: trying to talk about tonight. So thank you for your
Speaker 2: first time calling. I'm best of luck getting yourself back
Speaker 2: squared away with your daughter. I would just say, and
Speaker 2: I'm not a psychologist, No, I play one on TV.
Speaker 2: Why don't you reach out to her sometime? I assume
Speaker 2: she's living in another part of the country, But why
Speaker 2: don't you reach out and tell her you'd like to
Speaker 2: come down and visit and have dinner or something and
Speaker 2: talk about whatever differences you have. She might be very
Speaker 2: open to that.
Speaker 6: Definitely, I will do that. Thanks, thank you, You're very welcome.
Speaker 2: Call again. Okay, let me go to a different This
Speaker 2: is Michael in Boston. Michael, you're on with Kelly Stoop.
Speaker 4: Right ahead, Michael, Oh, thank you. I was wondering I
Speaker 4: haven't heard anything pertaining to so called eating disorders like anorexia?
Speaker 4: Would this be common in teenage girls? Boys too, But
Speaker 4: that's not as common as girls bio log shot, But
Speaker 4: is this the root of anorexia? Are you knowledgeable in
Speaker 4: that eating disorder?
Speaker 5: I know this is.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, so I I work with kids from age
Speaker 3: ages of one into their twenties, and so yes, I'm
Speaker 3: very familiar with eating disorders with teenage girls, middle school girls.
Speaker 3: The signs that that appear, and the things that the
Speaker 3: tips and the tricks that they use. And you know, now,
Speaker 3: there are more ways than ever that they can learn
Speaker 3: about eating disorders. They can just jump on the internet
Speaker 3: and jump on an app that helps them count their
Speaker 3: calories and ways to hide food, and so it is
Speaker 3: very prevalent and it's a way of control, a way
Speaker 3: for kids to feel like they have a sense of control.
Speaker 3: And when kids are growing up now, they feel like
Speaker 3: a lot of what they do and a lot of
Speaker 3: their day they don't they don't have control over it.
Speaker 3: Their parents are telling them, go to school, do this,
Speaker 3: get to soccer practice, get to you know, church class.
Speaker 3: And so food is something that the kids can control
Speaker 3: and they like that, and so that can lead to
Speaker 3: eating disorders. But the body image problems that start at
Speaker 3: seven can act absolutely lead into eating disorders and even
Speaker 3: more of a focus in body dysmorphia, which is having
Speaker 3: a mental condition that really is focused on flaws and
Speaker 3: imperfections in your body. Spend a lot of time ruminating
Speaker 3: on you know, my face, my nose is too big,
Speaker 3: or the my neck is too long. All these really
Speaker 3: again extreme ways for a child to be understanding themselves,
Speaker 3: to be seeing themselves as you know, it's it's incorrect,
Speaker 3: it's not accurate, it's a distorted way of understanding themselves.
Speaker 3: And it can start early, well, very quickly.
Speaker 4: Do they have a treatment for anorexia now nowadays, But
Speaker 4: when a girl reaches that age and she looks in
Speaker 4: the mirror, she's actually sixty eight pounds, but she thinks
Speaker 4: she's way over weight, and she continues to diet. And
Speaker 4: as you say, an image problem, do they treat it right?
Speaker 3: No, there is not. There is not a quick fix
Speaker 3: for that. And so that is why it's incredibly important
Speaker 3: for parents to be plugged in and talk to your
Speaker 3: kids about, you know, what being healthy and fit looks
Speaker 3: like for them. It's also important for kids to let
Speaker 3: their kids, for parents to let their kids know that
Speaker 3: there are certain times during development, but right before a
Speaker 3: child is going to grow taller and height, they actually
Speaker 3: grow wider out. So I have a son who's twenty one,
Speaker 3: and a nineteen year old daughter and a fifteen year
Speaker 3: old daughter, and so I was very intentional about you know,
Speaker 3: they would start to feel we could see like their
Speaker 3: body was changing, they were getting a little thicker in
Speaker 3: the middle, and then all of a sudden, they would
Speaker 3: sprout up a couple inches.
Speaker 2: Kelly, I hate to do this to you, but we
Speaker 2: have run out of time, Michael, one of the best
Speaker 2: best calls of the night. Thank you so much, appreciate it. Kelly.
Speaker 2: How could how could folks get in touch with you
Speaker 2: if they would like to get in touch. You have
Speaker 2: a website.
Speaker 3: I do have a website. It's www dot Kelly kshoop
Speaker 3: dot com and they can email me with questions. I
Speaker 3: do a one on one coaching sessions with families and
Speaker 3: parents with any behavior issues concerns that they have. You
Speaker 3: can find me on my parenting podcast, which is Making
Speaker 3: Sense of Parenting with Kelly Shoot that's on Spotify and
Speaker 3: Amazon and Google and all the places.
Speaker 2: A lot of ways, a lot of ways. Kelly, thank
Speaker 2: you so much for your time tonight. Hopefully a lot
Speaker 2: of people listened to what you had to say. It
Speaker 2: was very good. Thank you so much.
Speaker 3: Thank you. I enjoyed it.
Speaker 2: Thank you. When we get back, we're going to talk
Speaker 2: about Signalgate, the Yemen signal controversy. Learned a lot about
Speaker 2: it today. I hope you'll share with us. We have
Speaker 2: a great guest, Hiawatha Bray of the Boston Globe. He's
Speaker 2: a tech writer. Coming up right after the ten o'clock
Speaker 2: News