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<v Speaker 1>It's Night Side with Dan Ray WBZ Costs Radio.

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<v Speaker 2>I do just want to take a minute before we

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<v Speaker 2>get to our guest in the nine o'clock hour to

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<v Speaker 2>thank Pat Boone, singer, actor, songwriter and philanthropist. His organization

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<v Speaker 2>that I would highly recommend you check out is One

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<v Speaker 2>for Tanzania All one word O N E F O

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<v Speaker 2>R Tanzania t A n z A nia dot org.

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<v Speaker 2>And that is a country in Africa which is in

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<v Speaker 2>need of fresh water for their children of that country.

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<v Speaker 2>And I just thought it's amazing that Pat Boone is

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<v Speaker 2>able to do this. And for those of you who

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<v Speaker 2>might not remember Pat Boone, before Elvis Presley, there was

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<v Speaker 2>Pat Boone, and Pat Boone was very famous American singer

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<v Speaker 2>performer and continued for decades and now at the young

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<v Speaker 2>age of ninety is sounding just as good as he

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<v Speaker 2>ever did and trying to help eliminate not hunger, but

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<v Speaker 2>thirst something as simple as water in the nation of Tanzania. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>if any of you need that, Rob has written down

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<v Speaker 2>that One for Tanzania dot org. And I really appreciate

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<v Speaker 2>if you checked out that website and if you were

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<v Speaker 2>so inclined help help them out a little bit. Now

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<v Speaker 2>we want to talk about a different topic. And as

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<v Speaker 2>children in Tanzania literally have no fresh water, I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>as Pat Boone described it, children in America, young children,

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<v Speaker 2>the vast majority of whom can get fresh water just

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<v Speaker 2>by opening up the faucet at their home, find themselves,

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<v Speaker 2>in some cases as young as the age of seven.

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<v Speaker 2>Focused on their image with us is Kelly Shop. She's

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<v Speaker 2>a licensed pediatric occupational therapist, and Kelly's very much involved.

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<v Speaker 2>We had Kelly with us about ten or twelve days

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<v Speaker 2>ago on the show, maybe two weeks ago actually during

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<v Speaker 2>the eight o'clock hour, and I thought it would be

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<v Speaker 2>great to have her back because I think that some

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<v Speaker 2>of you might want to talk to her about this question,

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<v Speaker 2>particularly if you have young children or grandchildren. Kelly Shop,

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<v Speaker 2>welcome back to Night's Side. Thank you for joining us.

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<v Speaker 2>How are you tonight?

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you, I'm great. Thanks for having me. I'm excited

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<v Speaker 3>to be here.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, we're excited to have you. And how big a

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<v Speaker 2>problem is this? By the way, you're a licensed pediatric

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<v Speaker 2>occupational therapist. That's a long title. Normally, when you think

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<v Speaker 2>about occupational therapists, you think about adults who have been

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<v Speaker 2>injured and they need to get some occupational therapy. How

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<v Speaker 2>does the the adjective I understand the adjective license, but

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<v Speaker 2>how you're a pediatric occupational therapist, So who do you

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<v Speaker 2>normally work with young children who have had physical injuries?

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<v Speaker 2>Is that? Is that your interest in children or your yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>So my yeah, So my passion is for kids and

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<v Speaker 3>any limitations or weaknesses or deficits they have with what

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<v Speaker 3>their occupation is at, which is their job at the moment.

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<v Speaker 3>Anything that occupies their time has value or meaning for them.

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<v Speaker 3>So for kids, it's school, it's you know, social and

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<v Speaker 3>emotional interactions with their parents, with their siblings, with their friends.

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<v Speaker 3>It's learning how to independently tie their shoe, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>make their bed. It's all of the activities and skills

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<v Speaker 3>that kids need to be healthy and functioning well in

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<v Speaker 3>whatever age they are in in their childhood development. And

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of that looks like helping parents help their kids.

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<v Speaker 3>So I help kids by helping their parents understand what's

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<v Speaker 3>going on with their kids and how we can help

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<v Speaker 3>them to do whatever they need to be doing.

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<v Speaker 2>So helped me out a little bit, because when I

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<v Speaker 2>think about occupational therapy, I think about someone who I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know it was a carpenter has injured his hand,

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<v Speaker 2>his hands or what our hand, and he has to

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<v Speaker 2>get that hand back. Condition apply that concept which I

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<v Speaker 2>think most of us understand to children. When children don't

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<v Speaker 2>have occupations, they have obligations to go to school and

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<v Speaker 2>things like that. Explain if you could just flush that

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<v Speaker 2>out for me a little bit. I don't mean to

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<v Speaker 2>be a painter that I care, but I really want

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<v Speaker 2>to understand that.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so a lot of just like the adult who had,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, a condition or something that happened where he

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<v Speaker 3>had a weakness or a deficit in his hand, needed

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<v Speaker 3>to be rehabilitated and needed to get him back to

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<v Speaker 3>an independent kind of normal functioning so he could be

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<v Speaker 3>working again. So often kids are born or you know,

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<v Speaker 3>three years old, we start to see certain weaknesses or

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<v Speaker 3>deficits in the milestone skills that they are supposed to

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<v Speaker 3>be exhibiting, Like you know, they're supposed to be crawling

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<v Speaker 3>by this certain age, they should be walking by a year.

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<v Speaker 3>And the way the world works now kids aren't doing

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<v Speaker 3>the things that they would have been doing ten fifteen

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<v Speaker 3>years ago normally. So what's typical for children now wasn't

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<v Speaker 3>typical and it's not natural for the way that kids

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<v Speaker 3>should be raised. So they aren't getting enough interaction with

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<v Speaker 3>nature and using their hands and moving their bodies. Their

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<v Speaker 3>food isn't as nourishing as it used to be. We

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<v Speaker 3>have so many processed foods. Kids don't eat as healthy.

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<v Speaker 3>They don't get as much sleep as they used to.

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<v Speaker 3>They are in so many structured activities. They don't have

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of downtime to just play and really get

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<v Speaker 3>into understanding themselves, what they like to do, the rhythm

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<v Speaker 3>and pace that they function well at. We've kind of

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<v Speaker 3>sacrificed so many good childhood developmental things for this mindset

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<v Speaker 3>of achievement accomplishment keep going. Our kids have to be busy,

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<v Speaker 3>they have to operate at the same pace an adult does.

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<v Speaker 3>But a child does not have a fully formed brain

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<v Speaker 3>or body. They can't They don't have the capacity to

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<v Speaker 3>do all the things that we are pushing them and

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<v Speaker 3>pressuring them to do. And it's having massive impact.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, And then now we can drill down after the

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<v Speaker 2>break on this concept of body image and when we

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<v Speaker 2>talked before, and I now realize that your interest in

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<v Speaker 2>your concern is quite broad and and and quite important.

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<v Speaker 2>And and you're we have a two and a half

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<v Speaker 2>year old grandson and he just wants to play and uh,

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<v Speaker 2>and that wife is Yeah, my wife is much better

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<v Speaker 2>with him because I'm always saying, well, why don't we,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, sit down and teach him about math or

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<v Speaker 2>I'm the guy that's that's trying to teach him this,

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<v Speaker 2>teach him that or whatever. And she's much better at this,

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<v Speaker 2>probably much better as a parent and a grandparent. But

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<v Speaker 2>but I want to talk about the issue of kids

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<v Speaker 2>as young as seven being concerned about body image. That's

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<v Speaker 2>what I want to get to with you tonight. And

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<v Speaker 2>my question what you're going to ask when we come back,

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<v Speaker 2>is is it more with when we get into the

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<v Speaker 2>younger age. I think about these honey Booboo competitions where

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<v Speaker 2>they dress up these little four and five year old

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<v Speaker 2>girls in with makeup and you know, so called mini

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<v Speaker 2>beauty contests or whatever, And is that what's going on?

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<v Speaker 2>Because this is this is an area that to me

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<v Speaker 2>is frightening, frightening to think that children as young as

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<v Speaker 2>seven more concerned about what they look like and what

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<v Speaker 2>it's frightening. So we'll we'll get to all of that,

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<v Speaker 2>I promise if any of you have questions for my guest,

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<v Speaker 2>Kelly Shop, particularly if your parents today I'm no longer

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<v Speaker 2>a parent, I'm a grandparent, you can give us a call.

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<v Speaker 2>You know the number six one, seven, two, five four

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<v Speaker 2>ten thirty or six one seven nine three one ten thirty.

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<v Speaker 2>Will be back with Kelly Shop, a licensed pediatric occupational therapist,

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<v Speaker 2>and I think that I have qualified her for all

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<v Speaker 2>of you to understand the depth of her interest and experience.

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<v Speaker 2>We're back on Nightside right after this.

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<v Speaker 1>You're on night Side with Dan Ray on w Boston's

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<v Speaker 1>news radio.

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<v Speaker 2>Chuess is Kelly Srue. We're talking about body issues for children.

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<v Speaker 2>So let me start off with the basic, the most basic.

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<v Speaker 2>Does this question of body images for children? Is it

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<v Speaker 2>impacting little boys as well as little girls? That's the

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<v Speaker 2>first question.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, it's impacting both.

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<v Speaker 2>Does it impact them in similar ways or or are

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<v Speaker 2>is it different between the two genders.

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<v Speaker 3>I would say it's a little more for girls. It

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<v Speaker 3>impacts more, but it definitely impacts both, and it impacts

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<v Speaker 3>them the same way. In that the world programming, the billboards,

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<v Speaker 3>the TikTok things, the YouTube kids, what we see on

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<v Speaker 3>TV is the ideal image for a boy or a girl,

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<v Speaker 3>a man or a woman. And a lot of times

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<v Speaker 3>we know that these images are they're photoshopped, or you

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<v Speaker 3>know that the actor actress is you know, doesn't look

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<v Speaker 3>like all the other moms at school. She is very

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<v Speaker 3>fit and thin, and and so kids are getting the

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<v Speaker 3>message by all the different screens that they look at

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<v Speaker 3>that this is what I need to look at, I

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<v Speaker 3>need to look like, this is what an ideal person

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<v Speaker 3>looks like. And we have an obese nation, so we

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<v Speaker 3>have a lot of kids who don't look like that,

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<v Speaker 3>and they can.

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<v Speaker 2>What I'm trying to get at here, and I'm trying

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<v Speaker 2>to understand it. So kids as early as seven, boys

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<v Speaker 2>and girls have been bombarded with images of the ideal

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<v Speaker 2>what the ideal adult appears to be, whether it's you know,

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<v Speaker 2>a male body builder or a female you know, beauty queen.

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<v Speaker 4>Is that?

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<v Speaker 2>Is that what we're talking about here is are these

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<v Speaker 2>are the images? When? When is this this thought? How

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<v Speaker 2>does it plant it in their heads? That's the first question.

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<v Speaker 3>I think it comes from multiple places, but in my mind,

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<v Speaker 3>it comes from the increase of screen use from everybody.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, kids have access to screens in school, they're

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<v Speaker 3>using iPads to research things. They're using iPads to do

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<v Speaker 3>all of their work, and so they can access images

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<v Speaker 3>and what people look like. And also because of that

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<v Speaker 3>increase of screens, kids are more critical, judgmental, and harsh

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<v Speaker 3>in commenting on their peers' appearance. And so cyberbullying is

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<v Speaker 3>very real for very young kids that they are being

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<v Speaker 3>told they are fat, you're fat, you're skinny, you've got

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<v Speaker 3>big legs and various things, and so very early on,

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<v Speaker 3>kids are understanding that their body does not look how

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<v Speaker 3>it should look, or somebody has told them what is

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<v Speaker 3>wrong with it.

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<v Speaker 2>Of course, as an adult, I think to myself, if

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<v Speaker 2>you're seven years old and you're a little shorter than

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<v Speaker 2>the other kids in class, or a little heavier or whatever,

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<v Speaker 2>or maybe you're wearing glasses, all of that will eventually

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<v Speaker 2>kind of resolve itself. Now, kids probably don't understand what

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<v Speaker 2>that means. They want to be the I guess, the

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<v Speaker 2>best looking second grader in the class. Do they share

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<v Speaker 2>that with their parents? Do you find or do they

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<v Speaker 2>eternalize it? And then are the parents contributing to these

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<v Speaker 2>aspirational stereotypes which are unrealistic?

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<v Speaker 3>I think a lot of kids do internalize it because

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<v Speaker 3>they realize their parents are busy and you know, they

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<v Speaker 3>come home from school and life's happening. Maybe they go

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<v Speaker 3>to soccer practice or piano practice, and parents have been

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<v Speaker 3>working and so there's not a lot of time. I

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<v Speaker 3>feel like so many parents these days are rushed and

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<v Speaker 3>they don't spend enough time being really intentional and engaging,

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<v Speaker 3>aged and looking for clues and cues from their kids

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<v Speaker 3>that something could be amiss. And and so a lot

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<v Speaker 3>of kids, yes, they do feel and it's all about

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<v Speaker 3>they want to fit in. They want to belong. They

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<v Speaker 3>want to feel like they have a spot. And you

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<v Speaker 3>are told that you're too slow, or you're too fat,

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<v Speaker 3>or you're too miss or to that. A lot of

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<v Speaker 3>times they don't fit in, and so that's, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>so what they don't.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to amplify on this on the other side

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<v Speaker 2>of the news break here, but you mentioned it, and

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want to slide by it. If parents are

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<v Speaker 2>not seeing the signs that their child is dealing with

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<v Speaker 2>some sort of an issue, what are the signs that

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<v Speaker 2>if the parent is trying to make a living and

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<v Speaker 2>all of that, and are they not paying attention. What

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<v Speaker 2>should what should parents be looking for?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, in the first place, parents should be proactive on

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<v Speaker 3>the front end about how they talk about their bodies

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<v Speaker 3>and the language that's used in their family home. So

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<v Speaker 3>I recommend talking about being fit, being fit for your

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<v Speaker 3>unique body, and that looks different. You might have a

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<v Speaker 3>sibling that their body is made differently, so it's going

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<v Speaker 3>to look different on them. But instead of talk about

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<v Speaker 3>being skinny or fat, or we're talking about being healthy

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<v Speaker 3>and fit and at every age. Right, I have to

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<v Speaker 3>be healthy and fit at fifty four, and that looks

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<v Speaker 3>different than what healthy and fit look like at twenty four.

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<v Speaker 3>And how we model appreciation, exercising our own body, eating well,

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<v Speaker 3>getting enough sleep. So there's a lot of proactive things

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<v Speaker 3>that we can do in our house to minimize that.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, we're going to not focus on being skinny.

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<v Speaker 3>It doesn't matter what the billboard looks like. Because you're

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<v Speaker 3>healthy and fit for an eight year old little boy,

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<v Speaker 3>you're great, you can run, you can keep up with

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<v Speaker 3>your classmates, you're doing all the things that you need

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<v Speaker 3>to do well. That's what we're focused on.

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<v Speaker 2>And then you're talking there about positive encouragement.

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<v Speaker 4>I get that yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>But even if the parent is trying to encourage the

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<v Speaker 2>child positively, if the child, for whatever reason, which I'm

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<v Speaker 2>sure happens, tumbes the parent out and is more focused

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<v Speaker 2>on fitting in with the kids at school, and fitting

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<v Speaker 2>in at the kids at school makes them focus on

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<v Speaker 2>their physical appearance. Are the signs that parents can see

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<v Speaker 2>with the chat with their child that maybe as much

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<v Speaker 2>as they're trying to talk to them about being fit

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<v Speaker 2>and healthy, that's not the focus of the child. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>the fact that they're staying in their room, the fact

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<v Speaker 2>that they're not communicating. Are there some signs that the

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<v Speaker 2>child can display to the parents that the parents can

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<v Speaker 2>pick up on and realize that they need to talk

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<v Speaker 2>a little more about this to the child.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, yeah, So that's one way is if your child

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<v Speaker 3>seems more withdrawn, seems to be isolating obviously, if your

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<v Speaker 3>child is making changes in their diet what they're eating,

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<v Speaker 3>or seem to be more controlling and you know, not

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<v Speaker 3>eating things that you know that they like that they're

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<v Speaker 3>trying to eliminate. If your child is asking you things

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<v Speaker 3>about their body, you know, mom, do you think my

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<v Speaker 3>face is too fat? Like they're they'll be asking their parents.

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<v Speaker 3>They're trying to get more validation that something could be

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<v Speaker 3>wrong with them or maybe not.

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<v Speaker 2>We're at our nine thirty newsbreak, so I got to

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<v Speaker 2>do that and we can amplify on that a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>And I have some other questions, but I'm sure our

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<v Speaker 2>audience also wants to ask questions, so I will make

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<v Speaker 2>them aware that they can call, they can ask whatever

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<v Speaker 2>questions they want. As I often said that there's no

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<v Speaker 2>dumb question. The dumb questions are the ones that you

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<v Speaker 2>don't have the courage to ask. I learned that when

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<v Speaker 2>I was in college and law school. A question, Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>that's the one that comes up on the final exam

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<v Speaker 2>of the midterm six one, seven, two, five, four, ten

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<v Speaker 2>thirty six one seven, nine three one, ten thirty. Back

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<v Speaker 2>on night Side right after this with my guest, licensed

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<v Speaker 2>pediatric occupational therapist Kelly shop talking about body issues for children,

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<v Speaker 2>young children as young as seven or eight years old.

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<v Speaker 2>Back on night Side, right after the news at the

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<v Speaker 2>bottom of the arra of my Name's Dan Ray listening

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<v Speaker 2>to the Nightside and WBZ Boston's Boston's news station ten

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<v Speaker 2>thirty on your AM dial.

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<v Speaker 1>Night Side with Dan Ray ONBZ Boston's News Radio.

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<v Speaker 2>My guest is Kelly Trup. She's a licensed pediatric occupational therapist.

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<v Speaker 2>We're talking about body issues for kids, for children, young people,

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<v Speaker 2>young children as young as seven. Is that really the

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<v Speaker 2>age when this first starts to impact people? Is it

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<v Speaker 2>because they have now kind of grown out of the

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<v Speaker 2>baby days and the toddler days, and now they're in school,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, one hundred and eighty days a year or

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<v Speaker 2>whatever with other children, and this little conversations that are

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<v Speaker 2>going on in the school bus about what child looks

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<v Speaker 2>this way and that way. Is that sort of what

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<v Speaker 2>percolates it gets it going or am I?

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<v Speaker 4>Yes?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so it is. It does have to do with

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<v Speaker 3>the age and stage of development.

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<v Speaker 5>Of the child.

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<v Speaker 3>And so a seven year old has had their eyes

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<v Speaker 3>opened more socially and they're making, you know, their their

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<v Speaker 3>friendships matter more. And so all of the comments that

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<v Speaker 3>might have been happening when they were four or five

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<v Speaker 3>they weren't listening, but now right over.

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<v Speaker 6>Their head, yeah, and over their head.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, And I assume that now it's more beginning to

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<v Speaker 2>become more cool to be to be liked by your friends,

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<v Speaker 2>and less cool you're less reliant upon the wisdom that

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<v Speaker 2>mom and dad might have for you.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, yeah, your dad might have great wisdom, but your

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<v Speaker 3>dad's not with you from eight thirty in the morning

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<v Speaker 3>until three fifteen, and so if you aren't fitting in,

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<v Speaker 3>it can feel really lonely. And kids are meeting these days.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh please, I've seen stories here where young girls. There

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<v Speaker 2>was one I'm thinking of in central Massachusetts who were

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<v Speaker 2>so badly bullied she committed suicide. This was a huge

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<v Speaker 2>story here in Massachusetts about ten years ago. Yes, just

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<v Speaker 2>we have some callers. I'd like to get to some

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<v Speaker 2>callers and incorporate them, and we'll continue, I hope by

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<v Speaker 2>when we finished this hour, you can refer us maybe

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<v Speaker 2>to either some books or some websites where parents and

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<v Speaker 2>grandparents can go to get some help for their kids.

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<v Speaker 2>And we haven't even touched upon these four and five

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<v Speaker 2>year old beauty contests, which to me are the absolute,

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<v Speaker 2>the weirdest manifestation of exactly what we're talking about.

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<v Speaker 6>I think, yeah, agreed, what we're talking about there.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's go too. Dorena is in Chelsea. Doren I appreciate you.

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<v Speaker 2>I've been very patient. You've held on. You were first

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<v Speaker 2>this hour with Kelly shop talking about body issues for children.

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<v Speaker 5>Go ahead, Dorian, Hi, Dan, and Hi, Kelly, Hey, Hi,

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<v Speaker 5>I just I just turned the phone on it, and

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<v Speaker 5>I'm very very I says, I have to call in

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<v Speaker 5>no matter what, if I'm right or wrong. I when

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<v Speaker 5>I was a little little girl, I always leaned towards

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<v Speaker 5>my father's word more than my mother's. I trusted my

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<v Speaker 5>father more than my mother.

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<v Speaker 1>Why is that?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know that that's a question that Kelly's uh

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<v Speaker 2>gonna want to answer or qualified. I mean, uh, Kelly,

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<v Speaker 2>you probably know about more about this than I do.

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<v Speaker 2>Little there were many little girls who daddies, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>make a big meal, little girl, daddy.

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<v Speaker 5>Little girl.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, yeah, go ahead, Yeah, that's true.

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<v Speaker 4>That's what I thought.

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<v Speaker 2>Nice, she probably knows more about it than you and

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<v Speaker 2>me during Kelly, or that beyond your scope of specialty.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, it depends, but I would I would say that

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<v Speaker 3>my experience would say that a lot of times mothers

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<v Speaker 3>have expectations as females of what we want our daughters

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<v Speaker 3>to look like and be like. And some of these

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<v Speaker 3>expectations are unknown, unintentionally put upon our kids that were

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<v Speaker 3>established when we were growing up as children. And so

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<v Speaker 3>but there is a dynamic between a mom and her

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<v Speaker 3>daughter and how they look, and the focus on their

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<v Speaker 3>appearance and the way they present and their mannerisms and things,

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of outwork focus. That is just kind of

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<v Speaker 3>how we were conditioned. And so I'm wondering if that's

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<v Speaker 3>part of it, and if maybe your dad was just

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<v Speaker 3>more understanding and he didn't you know, he wouldn't have

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<v Speaker 3>had that expectation because he wasn't a female like you.

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<v Speaker 2>Did that make any sense story?

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<v Speaker 1>It does?

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<v Speaker 5>But the only thing was it was always.

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<v Speaker 1>A weighty issue.

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<v Speaker 5>What you like? You said body image weight Yes, so.

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<v Speaker 2>Your mom was. So what you're saying is your mom

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<v Speaker 2>was critical of you.

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<v Speaker 5>Well, well not as much as my father was. But

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<v Speaker 5>they both loved me because I am their daughter. I

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<v Speaker 5>was the first daughter in the family.

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<v Speaker 6>I come from a daughter of six children.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 5>And the thing was she always pressed the issue. She

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<v Speaker 5>all this is crazy.

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<v Speaker 4>But I'm going to tell you.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I think during during, I think we're at the

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<v Speaker 2>reservation here. I think we're getting too deep into your

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<v Speaker 2>relationship with your parents. And I don't know it has

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<v Speaker 2>anything to do with body imaging.

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<v Speaker 6>I think it it does. It has it's a.

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<v Speaker 1>It's about a way issue.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, kid, get right to it, because I got a

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<v Speaker 2>whole bunch of callers and I don't want to short

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<v Speaker 2>change them, all right, Okay.

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<v Speaker 5>I was I was always I was always a plus

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<v Speaker 5>size Okay, and uh, I just.

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<v Speaker 4>Can't help it.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm gonna put my body images. Your bone structure has

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<v Speaker 5>to do with bone structure and your hereditary and the cells.

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<v Speaker 5>That's what it's got to do with it. Okay, you

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<v Speaker 5>know what I mean.

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<v Speaker 2>During during I appreciate your call, I really do. But

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<v Speaker 2>unless you can pose a question to my guest who's

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<v Speaker 2>an expert in this area, If you can pose a question, great,

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<v Speaker 2>But but if you can't, I'm going to have to

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<v Speaker 2>move on. Do you have a question for Kelly about

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<v Speaker 2>your upringing? Go ahead. If you've got a.

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<v Speaker 1>Question, well, what it's about health, Dorian work.

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<v Speaker 2>With me, please?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, So, Dorian, I would just say that you know

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<v Speaker 3>you can't your parents were doing the best that they

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<v Speaker 3>could with what they had, and so in how you

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<v Speaker 3>operate now, and I don't know if you have kids

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<v Speaker 3>or you have brand kids, but for you to just

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<v Speaker 3>have the mindset of it's all about being fit, because

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<v Speaker 3>what you experienced based on your body type and your

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<v Speaker 3>body frame and all of that. It sounds like that

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<v Speaker 3>wasn't the message that you were sent, that your unique

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<v Speaker 3>frame and body makeup looks different than everybody else's. And

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<v Speaker 3>so going forward from today, you can adopt that mindset

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<v Speaker 3>right now, like, I'm not going to compare myself to

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<v Speaker 3>any of my siblings or anybody else because God made

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<v Speaker 3>me unique with my own unique makeup look and phone

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<v Speaker 3>structure and all of that. And my job is just

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<v Speaker 3>to be fit and healthy and active whatever age you

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<v Speaker 3>are today, and to send that message to the others

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<v Speaker 3>in your family or the people that you impact in

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<v Speaker 3>the world right now. Does that help?

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<v Speaker 5>I'm not. I don't judge people, Kelly, because I had.

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<v Speaker 2>Very much for the call, Dorian. I appreciate all very much.

424
00:27:26.759 --> 00:27:27.559
<v Speaker 2>We've got to move on.

425
00:27:28.319 --> 00:27:28.440
<v Speaker 4>Uh.

426
00:27:28.880 --> 00:27:30.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm a little frustrated, as you can tell. And I go.

427
00:27:31.079 --> 00:27:33.640
<v Speaker 2>We had a tough night with callers last night. And

428
00:27:34.119 --> 00:27:36.519
<v Speaker 2>I'm telling you, folks, if you want to call and

429
00:27:36.559 --> 00:27:39.279
<v Speaker 2>ask a question, great, But if you want to call

430
00:27:39.359 --> 00:27:41.839
<v Speaker 2>and tell us your life story, that's not what Kelly

431
00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:43.960
<v Speaker 2>is here to do. Let me go next to Alison Beverly,

432
00:27:44.000 --> 00:27:47.119
<v Speaker 2>Alice next on and I said with Kelly shoot gruadhead Alice.

433
00:27:47.400 --> 00:27:51.160
<v Speaker 7>Yes, I am a school nurse and it was in

434
00:27:51.319 --> 00:27:53.960
<v Speaker 7>pre k through high school, so we had all ages.

435
00:27:54.640 --> 00:27:59.480
<v Speaker 7>And I just wonder what Kelly thinks about I was

436
00:27:59.480 --> 00:28:03.759
<v Speaker 7>a propos of school uniforms. I don't think that solves

437
00:28:03.799 --> 00:28:09.759
<v Speaker 7>the problem, but then there's not as much maybe you know, competition.

438
00:28:10.599 --> 00:28:14.960
<v Speaker 7>And then also what I'm thinking, and I don't know

439
00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:19.920
<v Speaker 7>what she thinks about the fact that certain sports are

440
00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:23.559
<v Speaker 7>there's certain activities in school that are the more popular

441
00:28:23.599 --> 00:28:26.119
<v Speaker 7>ones that they that I think that they need to

442
00:28:26.839 --> 00:28:30.200
<v Speaker 7>like find out what the kids that are like left

443
00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:37.519
<v Speaker 7>out that you know, the arts and theater things like

444
00:28:37.680 --> 00:28:41.960
<v Speaker 7>that are things that should be looked at because everybody

445
00:28:42.039 --> 00:28:45.640
<v Speaker 7>is not a gymnast or a football player.

446
00:28:45.559 --> 00:28:50.119
<v Speaker 3>Or yeah, yeah, no, I totally agree. You've got great questions.

447
00:28:50.119 --> 00:28:53.759
<v Speaker 3>So I agree with you on the uniforms. I think

448
00:28:53.799 --> 00:28:59.119
<v Speaker 3>that they help take the focus off of the individual

449
00:28:59.359 --> 00:29:04.039
<v Speaker 3>dressing and that can get competitive. And if everybody has

450
00:29:04.079 --> 00:29:07.039
<v Speaker 3>a uniform, then the focus is taken off of the

451
00:29:07.079 --> 00:29:10.079
<v Speaker 3>clothing that is on the child in school, and that

452
00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:16.000
<v Speaker 3>is helpful. If there are kids who are larger and

453
00:29:16.160 --> 00:29:19.359
<v Speaker 3>the uniform doesn't fit them. Well, they can still have

454
00:29:19.559 --> 00:29:22.839
<v Speaker 3>stress and worry about that, but I think overall, the

455
00:29:22.960 --> 00:29:28.839
<v Speaker 3>uniforms decrease set. So I'm for that, And then I

456
00:29:28.920 --> 00:29:32.319
<v Speaker 3>love I totally agree that I think there needs to

457
00:29:32.400 --> 00:29:37.759
<v Speaker 3>be more open mindedness about different activities for kids. And

458
00:29:37.839 --> 00:29:41.279
<v Speaker 3>so I have a podcast called Making Sense of Parenting

459
00:29:41.359 --> 00:29:44.720
<v Speaker 3>with Kelly Shoot and I have an episode on is

460
00:29:44.759 --> 00:29:49.400
<v Speaker 3>your Kids Sporty? And it's all about sports. And my

461
00:29:49.880 --> 00:29:54.200
<v Speaker 3>thought is that every child is sporty. We just have

462
00:29:54.279 --> 00:29:57.559
<v Speaker 3>to find the right sport for them. So for some kids,

463
00:29:57.599 --> 00:30:00.839
<v Speaker 3>they don't like contact, they don't want to be touched

464
00:30:00.960 --> 00:30:04.000
<v Speaker 3>or hit or bumped into. So what sport can we

465
00:30:04.119 --> 00:30:06.680
<v Speaker 3>find for them that they don't have to be touched?

466
00:30:06.799 --> 00:30:10.279
<v Speaker 3>Is it golf? Is it, you know, rock climbing. There's

467
00:30:10.359 --> 00:30:15.720
<v Speaker 3>a million different sports that aren't team sports where kids

468
00:30:15.839 --> 00:30:20.680
<v Speaker 3>can be really successful and feel really strong and fit

469
00:30:20.960 --> 00:30:25.720
<v Speaker 3>and active and confident, and that's so good for their

470
00:30:25.759 --> 00:30:29.680
<v Speaker 3>self worth. And so yes, it can look like theater,

471
00:30:29.920 --> 00:30:32.480
<v Speaker 3>it can look like all kinds of different things. And

472
00:30:32.559 --> 00:30:35.839
<v Speaker 3>so I encourage parents, if your child doesn't like soccer

473
00:30:35.920 --> 00:30:40.039
<v Speaker 3>or swimming or football, keep trying, keep exposing them to

474
00:30:40.160 --> 00:30:44.720
<v Speaker 3>different things, because they will find something that they can

475
00:30:44.839 --> 00:30:47.759
<v Speaker 3>do and that will be their thing, their sport, and

476
00:30:47.880 --> 00:30:51.920
<v Speaker 3>that is so incredibly healthy for good childhood development.

477
00:30:52.839 --> 00:30:55.680
<v Speaker 2>All right, great questions, Alie, Thank you so much for

478
00:30:55.759 --> 00:30:56.720
<v Speaker 2>joining the conversation.

479
00:30:57.559 --> 00:30:58.920
<v Speaker 6>Okay, have a great night.

480
00:30:59.000 --> 00:31:02.440
<v Speaker 2>Thanks. Be back with my guest Kelly shop six one seven, two,

481
00:31:02.519 --> 00:31:04.680
<v Speaker 2>five four ten thirty or six one seven, nine three

482
00:31:04.920 --> 00:31:07.319
<v Speaker 2>ten thirty, coming right back on night Side.

483
00:31:07.880 --> 00:31:12.559
<v Speaker 1>It's Night Side with Dan Ray on w Boston's news radio.

484
00:31:12.960 --> 00:31:17.200
<v Speaker 2>We're talking with Kelly Shoe. She's a licensed pediatric occupational therapist,

485
00:31:17.440 --> 00:31:21.079
<v Speaker 2>and we're talking about the issues of children, young children,

486
00:31:21.160 --> 00:31:24.359
<v Speaker 2>kids seven years old, boys and girls who are more

487
00:31:24.400 --> 00:31:28.640
<v Speaker 2>concerned about their looks, their appearances than anything else in

488
00:31:28.680 --> 00:31:32.240
<v Speaker 2>their life. It's called body image issues. Let's go to

489
00:31:32.440 --> 00:31:34.680
<v Speaker 2>Mike and Quinsy. Mike, you are next on night Side

490
00:31:34.680 --> 00:31:36.079
<v Speaker 2>with Kelly Shop grdhead Mike.

491
00:31:37.440 --> 00:31:39.599
<v Speaker 6>Heaym said, Dan Ray, how are you go ahead?

492
00:31:39.640 --> 00:31:41.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing great. Say hi to my guest, Kelly Shoop.

493
00:31:41.720 --> 00:31:43.119
<v Speaker 2>What's your comment of question? Mike?

494
00:31:44.319 --> 00:31:46.240
<v Speaker 6>Uh, your first time calling?

495
00:31:46.400 --> 00:31:48.519
<v Speaker 2>Oh, first time. We'll give you a round of applause

496
00:31:48.559 --> 00:31:51.640
<v Speaker 2>as a first time caller. We'll get our digital studio

497
00:31:51.720 --> 00:31:54.799
<v Speaker 2>audience up out of their seats and they go you

498
00:31:54.839 --> 00:31:57.400
<v Speaker 2>got a studio. Go ahead, Michael, go right ahead.

499
00:31:58.599 --> 00:32:02.440
<v Speaker 6>The reason why I'm calling because I used to have

500
00:32:02.680 --> 00:32:06.000
<v Speaker 6>my daughter. I got divorced you seven years old, so

501
00:32:06.079 --> 00:32:09.400
<v Speaker 6>I woke mother's hours and then raised that she's twenty

502
00:32:09.440 --> 00:32:13.720
<v Speaker 6>seven years old. And my question to the therapist we

503
00:32:13.759 --> 00:32:17.119
<v Speaker 6>went to the caraffe and everything. Right now, she's an

504
00:32:17.279 --> 00:32:23.480
<v Speaker 6>FBA Asian. I just do not like the choices she's making.

505
00:32:24.279 --> 00:32:29.000
<v Speaker 2>This again, Mike, I'm not sure that you're connecting with

506
00:32:29.079 --> 00:32:35.319
<v Speaker 2>the guests. So your daughter, you said, is now an adult, right, yes, okay,

507
00:32:36.200 --> 00:32:42.160
<v Speaker 2>And so your question, we're talking about kids who when

508
00:32:42.160 --> 00:32:45.400
<v Speaker 2>they're very young, they are more kids as young as

509
00:32:45.400 --> 00:32:49.039
<v Speaker 2>seven are more focused on their body type and if

510
00:32:49.079 --> 00:32:55.240
<v Speaker 2>they don't fit that image of perfection, they changed their

511
00:32:55.279 --> 00:32:59.000
<v Speaker 2>diet and they lose a lot, they lose a lot

512
00:32:59.039 --> 00:33:02.880
<v Speaker 2>of their childhood. I'm more worrying about what they look

513
00:33:03.039 --> 00:33:06.000
<v Speaker 2>like than what type of person they are. So if

514
00:33:06.039 --> 00:33:08.480
<v Speaker 2>you have a question for Kelly that you think relates

515
00:33:08.519 --> 00:33:09.480
<v Speaker 2>to that, go right ahead.

516
00:33:10.880 --> 00:33:12.720
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, miss Kelly. What do I want to ask you

517
00:33:12.920 --> 00:33:17.559
<v Speaker 6>is what is it I can't do improve her self

518
00:33:17.680 --> 00:33:21.599
<v Speaker 6>esteem her personality to become more strong?

519
00:33:22.799 --> 00:33:27.240
<v Speaker 2>Whose self esteem your daughter's self esteem? Yeah, well your daughter?

520
00:33:27.400 --> 00:33:28.039
<v Speaker 2>How old your.

521
00:33:27.960 --> 00:33:31.920
<v Speaker 6>Daughter right now? She's twenty seven and she's.

522
00:33:31.759 --> 00:33:36.440
<v Speaker 2>An FBI agent. Yes, I suspect she has a very

523
00:33:36.480 --> 00:33:43.359
<v Speaker 2>strong personality and that her self esteem is fine. Again,

524
00:33:43.440 --> 00:33:45.960
<v Speaker 2>we're I think we're just a little about twenty years

525
00:33:46.000 --> 00:33:48.559
<v Speaker 2>further down the line than what we're talking about. Kelly,

526
00:33:49.079 --> 00:33:52.400
<v Speaker 2>do you want to give a shot at this? I'm

527
00:33:52.440 --> 00:33:53.759
<v Speaker 2>more confused now than ever.

528
00:33:55.359 --> 00:34:00.079
<v Speaker 3>I'm happy to try. So is this you feel like

529
00:34:00.319 --> 00:34:04.400
<v Speaker 3>you need to be doing something specifically to help her

530
00:34:04.440 --> 00:34:05.200
<v Speaker 3>self esteem?

531
00:34:05.240 --> 00:34:05.480
<v Speaker 2>Now?

532
00:34:05.640 --> 00:34:09.079
<v Speaker 3>Is there? Does she have weight issues or body image

533
00:34:09.800 --> 00:34:12.400
<v Speaker 3>concerns at twenty seven that you're aware of?

534
00:34:13.880 --> 00:34:18.960
<v Speaker 2>Not at all, Not at all if she's an FBI agent, Mike,

535
00:34:19.119 --> 00:34:21.920
<v Speaker 2>I think again, I hate to do this, but I

536
00:34:21.920 --> 00:34:24.440
<v Speaker 2>think you and Doreen miss I have misunderstood what we're

537
00:34:24.440 --> 00:34:27.400
<v Speaker 2>trying to talk about tonight. So thank you for your

538
00:34:27.400 --> 00:34:31.079
<v Speaker 2>first time calling. I'm best of luck getting yourself back

539
00:34:31.119 --> 00:34:33.639
<v Speaker 2>squared away with your daughter. I would just say, and

540
00:34:33.679 --> 00:34:35.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm not a psychologist, No, I play one on TV.

541
00:34:36.199 --> 00:34:38.880
<v Speaker 2>Why don't you reach out to her sometime? I assume

542
00:34:38.920 --> 00:34:41.119
<v Speaker 2>she's living in another part of the country, But why

543
00:34:41.119 --> 00:34:42.519
<v Speaker 2>don't you reach out and tell her you'd like to

544
00:34:42.519 --> 00:34:45.039
<v Speaker 2>come down and visit and have dinner or something and

545
00:34:45.480 --> 00:34:49.079
<v Speaker 2>talk about whatever differences you have. She might be very

546
00:34:49.199 --> 00:34:49.760
<v Speaker 2>open to that.

547
00:34:51.239 --> 00:34:54.679
<v Speaker 6>Definitely, I will do that. Thanks, thank you, You're very welcome.

548
00:34:54.679 --> 00:34:56.760
<v Speaker 2>Call again. Okay, let me go to a different This

549
00:34:56.920 --> 00:34:59.360
<v Speaker 2>is Michael in Boston. Michael, you're on with Kelly Stoop.

550
00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:03.119
<v Speaker 4>Right ahead, Michael, Oh, thank you. I was wondering I

551
00:35:03.159 --> 00:35:11.400
<v Speaker 4>haven't heard anything pertaining to so called eating disorders like anorexia?

552
00:35:11.880 --> 00:35:18.440
<v Speaker 4>Would this be common in teenage girls? Boys too, But

553
00:35:18.519 --> 00:35:22.119
<v Speaker 4>that's not as common as girls bio log shot, But

554
00:35:22.440 --> 00:35:26.320
<v Speaker 4>is this the root of anorexia? Are you knowledgeable in

555
00:35:26.360 --> 00:35:27.679
<v Speaker 4>that eating disorder?

556
00:35:27.960 --> 00:35:28.639
<v Speaker 5>I know this is.

557
00:35:30.679 --> 00:35:36.480
<v Speaker 3>Yes, yes, so I I work with kids from age

558
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:40.320
<v Speaker 3>ages of one into their twenties, and so yes, I'm

559
00:35:40.400 --> 00:35:45.000
<v Speaker 3>very familiar with eating disorders with teenage girls, middle school girls.

560
00:35:45.480 --> 00:35:49.239
<v Speaker 3>The signs that that appear, and the things that the

561
00:35:49.320 --> 00:35:53.920
<v Speaker 3>tips and the tricks that they use. And you know, now,

562
00:35:54.000 --> 00:35:56.760
<v Speaker 3>there are more ways than ever that they can learn

563
00:35:56.840 --> 00:35:59.400
<v Speaker 3>about eating disorders. They can just jump on the internet

564
00:35:59.440 --> 00:36:02.199
<v Speaker 3>and jump on an app that helps them count their

565
00:36:02.239 --> 00:36:07.280
<v Speaker 3>calories and ways to hide food, and so it is

566
00:36:07.480 --> 00:36:11.320
<v Speaker 3>very prevalent and it's a way of control, a way

567
00:36:11.360 --> 00:36:14.280
<v Speaker 3>for kids to feel like they have a sense of control.

568
00:36:14.400 --> 00:36:16.800
<v Speaker 3>And when kids are growing up now, they feel like

569
00:36:17.000 --> 00:36:19.079
<v Speaker 3>a lot of what they do and a lot of

570
00:36:19.119 --> 00:36:21.320
<v Speaker 3>their day they don't they don't have control over it.

571
00:36:21.360 --> 00:36:23.440
<v Speaker 3>Their parents are telling them, go to school, do this,

572
00:36:24.119 --> 00:36:27.280
<v Speaker 3>get to soccer practice, get to you know, church class.

573
00:36:27.400 --> 00:36:31.000
<v Speaker 3>And so food is something that the kids can control

574
00:36:31.079 --> 00:36:33.400
<v Speaker 3>and they like that, and so that can lead to

575
00:36:33.480 --> 00:36:37.639
<v Speaker 3>eating disorders. But the body image problems that start at

576
00:36:37.639 --> 00:36:43.960
<v Speaker 3>seven can act absolutely lead into eating disorders and even

577
00:36:44.079 --> 00:36:48.119
<v Speaker 3>more of a focus in body dysmorphia, which is having

578
00:36:48.159 --> 00:36:52.199
<v Speaker 3>a mental condition that really is focused on flaws and

579
00:36:52.239 --> 00:36:55.840
<v Speaker 3>imperfections in your body. Spend a lot of time ruminating

580
00:36:55.880 --> 00:36:58.840
<v Speaker 3>on you know, my face, my nose is too big,

581
00:36:59.119 --> 00:37:02.519
<v Speaker 3>or the my neck is too long. All these really

582
00:37:03.360 --> 00:37:08.320
<v Speaker 3>again extreme ways for a child to be understanding themselves,

583
00:37:08.320 --> 00:37:12.679
<v Speaker 3>to be seeing themselves as you know, it's it's incorrect,

584
00:37:12.760 --> 00:37:17.280
<v Speaker 3>it's not accurate, it's a distorted way of understanding themselves.

585
00:37:17.320 --> 00:37:20.079
<v Speaker 3>And it can start early, well, very quickly.

586
00:37:20.119 --> 00:37:23.440
<v Speaker 4>Do they have a treatment for anorexia now nowadays, But

587
00:37:23.480 --> 00:37:25.960
<v Speaker 4>when a girl reaches that age and she looks in

588
00:37:26.000 --> 00:37:29.280
<v Speaker 4>the mirror, she's actually sixty eight pounds, but she thinks

589
00:37:29.280 --> 00:37:32.360
<v Speaker 4>she's way over weight, and she continues to diet. And

590
00:37:32.519 --> 00:37:35.679
<v Speaker 4>as you say, an image problem, do they treat it right?

591
00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:38.559
<v Speaker 3>No, there is not. There is not a quick fix

592
00:37:38.639 --> 00:37:43.679
<v Speaker 3>for that. And so that is why it's incredibly important

593
00:37:43.760 --> 00:37:46.880
<v Speaker 3>for parents to be plugged in and talk to your

594
00:37:47.000 --> 00:37:52.159
<v Speaker 3>kids about, you know, what being healthy and fit looks

595
00:37:52.239 --> 00:37:55.239
<v Speaker 3>like for them. It's also important for kids to let

596
00:37:55.320 --> 00:37:58.119
<v Speaker 3>their kids, for parents to let their kids know that

597
00:37:58.760 --> 00:38:02.840
<v Speaker 3>there are certain times during development, but right before a

598
00:38:02.960 --> 00:38:07.000
<v Speaker 3>child is going to grow taller and height, they actually

599
00:38:07.039 --> 00:38:11.840
<v Speaker 3>grow wider out. So I have a son who's twenty one,

600
00:38:11.920 --> 00:38:14.360
<v Speaker 3>and a nineteen year old daughter and a fifteen year

601
00:38:14.360 --> 00:38:17.880
<v Speaker 3>old daughter, and so I was very intentional about you know,

602
00:38:18.039 --> 00:38:21.199
<v Speaker 3>they would start to feel we could see like their

603
00:38:21.199 --> 00:38:24.320
<v Speaker 3>body was changing, they were getting a little thicker in

604
00:38:24.360 --> 00:38:26.599
<v Speaker 3>the middle, and then all of a sudden, they would

605
00:38:26.639 --> 00:38:28.239
<v Speaker 3>sprout up a couple inches.

606
00:38:30.159 --> 00:38:31.719
<v Speaker 2>Kelly, I hate to do this to you, but we

607
00:38:31.800 --> 00:38:35.719
<v Speaker 2>have run out of time, Michael, one of the best

608
00:38:36.079 --> 00:38:40.480
<v Speaker 2>best calls of the night. Thank you so much, appreciate it. Kelly.

609
00:38:40.519 --> 00:38:43.239
<v Speaker 2>How could how could folks get in touch with you

610
00:38:43.400 --> 00:38:45.360
<v Speaker 2>if they would like to get in touch. You have

611
00:38:45.360 --> 00:38:46.079
<v Speaker 2>a website.

612
00:38:47.079 --> 00:38:52.280
<v Speaker 3>I do have a website. It's www dot Kelly kshoop

613
00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:56.719
<v Speaker 3>dot com and they can email me with questions. I

614
00:38:56.800 --> 00:38:59.679
<v Speaker 3>do a one on one coaching sessions with families and

615
00:38:59.719 --> 00:39:05.000
<v Speaker 3>parents with any behavior issues concerns that they have. You

616
00:39:05.039 --> 00:39:08.679
<v Speaker 3>can find me on my parenting podcast, which is Making

617
00:39:08.800 --> 00:39:11.840
<v Speaker 3>Sense of Parenting with Kelly Shoot that's on Spotify and

618
00:39:11.920 --> 00:39:13.920
<v Speaker 3>Amazon and Google and all the places.

619
00:39:14.199 --> 00:39:17.719
<v Speaker 2>A lot of ways, a lot of ways. Kelly, thank

620
00:39:17.719 --> 00:39:20.880
<v Speaker 2>you so much for your time tonight. Hopefully a lot

621
00:39:20.920 --> 00:39:23.800
<v Speaker 2>of people listened to what you had to say. It

622
00:39:23.840 --> 00:39:25.159
<v Speaker 2>was very good. Thank you so much.

623
00:39:25.559 --> 00:39:26.679
<v Speaker 3>Thank you. I enjoyed it.

624
00:39:26.960 --> 00:39:28.760
<v Speaker 2>Thank you. When we get back, we're going to talk

625
00:39:28.800 --> 00:39:34.159
<v Speaker 2>about Signalgate, the Yemen signal controversy. Learned a lot about

626
00:39:34.159 --> 00:39:36.480
<v Speaker 2>it today. I hope you'll share with us. We have

627
00:39:36.519 --> 00:39:39.320
<v Speaker 2>a great guest, Hiawatha Bray of the Boston Globe. He's

628
00:39:39.360 --> 00:39:41.559
<v Speaker 2>a tech writer. Coming up right after the ten o'clock

629
00:39:41.599 --> 00:39:41.880
<v Speaker 2>News