WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.360 --> 00:00:03.759
<v Speaker 1>This is section forty three of The Gilded Age. This

2
00:00:03.879 --> 00:00:07.440
<v Speaker 1>LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age,

3
00:00:07.559 --> 00:00:10.320
<v Speaker 1>A Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and C. D. Warner,

4
00:00:10.839 --> 00:00:15.480
<v Speaker 1>Chapter forty three. The very next day, sure enough the

5
00:00:15.560 --> 00:00:19.239
<v Speaker 1>campaign opened. In due course, the Speaker of the House

6
00:00:19.320 --> 00:00:23.719
<v Speaker 1>reached that order of business which is termed notices of bills,

7
00:00:24.320 --> 00:00:27.239
<v Speaker 1>and then the honorable mister Buckstone rose in his place

8
00:00:27.600 --> 00:00:31.359
<v Speaker 1>and gave notice of a bill to found and incorporate

9
00:00:31.679 --> 00:00:35.960
<v Speaker 1>the Knob's Industrial University, and then sat down without saying

10
00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:40.240
<v Speaker 1>anything further. The busy gentlemen in the reporter's gallery jotted

11
00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:43.039
<v Speaker 1>a line in their note books, ran to the telegraphic

12
00:00:43.119 --> 00:00:46.560
<v Speaker 1>desk in a room which communicated with their own writing parlor,

13
00:00:47.039 --> 00:00:49.399
<v Speaker 1>and then hurried back to their places in the gallery.

14
00:00:49.920 --> 00:00:52.320
<v Speaker 1>And by the time they had resumed their seats, the

15
00:00:52.439 --> 00:00:55.119
<v Speaker 1>line which they had delivered to the operator had been

16
00:00:55.200 --> 00:00:59.039
<v Speaker 1>read in telegraphic offices in towns and cities hundreds of

17
00:00:59.119 --> 00:01:03.359
<v Speaker 1>miles away. It was distinguished by frankness of language as

18
00:01:03.399 --> 00:01:08.200
<v Speaker 1>well as by brevity. The child is born. Buckstone gives

19
00:01:08.280 --> 00:01:12.400
<v Speaker 1>notice of the thieving Knobs University job. It is said

20
00:01:12.519 --> 00:01:15.599
<v Speaker 1>the noses have been counted and enough votes have been

21
00:01:15.640 --> 00:01:19.959
<v Speaker 1>bought to pass it. For some time the correspondents had

22
00:01:19.959 --> 00:01:23.879
<v Speaker 1>been posting their several journals upon the alleged disreputable nature

23
00:01:23.920 --> 00:01:27.319
<v Speaker 1>of the bill and furnishing daily reports of the Washington

24
00:01:27.400 --> 00:01:31.760
<v Speaker 1>gossip concerning it. So the next morning, nearly every newspaper

25
00:01:31.799 --> 00:01:35.480
<v Speaker 1>of character in the land assailed the measure and hurled

26
00:01:35.560 --> 00:01:40.640
<v Speaker 1>broadsides of invective at mister Buckstone. The Washington papers were

27
00:01:40.680 --> 00:01:45.920
<v Speaker 1>more respectful as usual and conciliatory. Also as usual, they

28
00:01:45.959 --> 00:01:49.480
<v Speaker 1>generally supported measures when it was possible, but when they

29
00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:54.920
<v Speaker 1>could not, they deprecated violent expressions of opinion. In other

30
00:01:55.040 --> 00:02:00.400
<v Speaker 1>journalistic quarters, they always deprecated when there was trouble ahead. However,

31
00:02:00.719 --> 00:02:06.280
<v Speaker 1>the Washington Daily Love Feast hailed the bill with warm approbation.

32
00:02:07.200 --> 00:02:11.080
<v Speaker 1>This was Senator Ballam's paper, or rather Brother Ballam, as

33
00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:14.400
<v Speaker 1>he was popularly called, for he had been a clergyman

34
00:02:14.439 --> 00:02:17.840
<v Speaker 1>in his day, and he himself and all that he did,

35
00:02:18.280 --> 00:02:21.159
<v Speaker 1>still emitted an odor of sanctity. Now that he had

36
00:02:21.520 --> 00:02:25.439
<v Speaker 1>diverged into journalism and politics. He was a power in

37
00:02:25.479 --> 00:02:28.719
<v Speaker 1>the Congressional Prayer meeting and in all movements that looked

38
00:02:28.800 --> 00:02:33.240
<v Speaker 1>to the spread of religion. And temperance. His paper supported

39
00:02:33.240 --> 00:02:37.280
<v Speaker 1>the new bill with gushing affection. It was a noble measure,

40
00:02:37.919 --> 00:02:41.479
<v Speaker 1>It was a just measure, It was a generous measure.

41
00:02:41.800 --> 00:02:45.080
<v Speaker 1>It was a pure measure, and that surely should recommend

42
00:02:45.120 --> 00:02:48.479
<v Speaker 1>it in these corrupt times. And finally, if the nature

43
00:02:48.479 --> 00:02:51.000
<v Speaker 1>of the bill were not known at all, the love

44
00:02:51.080 --> 00:02:55.080
<v Speaker 1>feast would support it anyway and unhesitatingly, for the fact

45
00:02:55.159 --> 00:02:58.719
<v Speaker 1>that Senator Dilworthy was the originator of the measure was

46
00:02:58.759 --> 00:03:02.919
<v Speaker 1>a guarantee that it contemplated a worthy and righteous work.

47
00:03:04.039 --> 00:03:06.960
<v Speaker 1>Senator Dilworthy was so anxious to know what the New

48
00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:09.639
<v Speaker 1>York papers would say about the bill that he had

49
00:03:09.719 --> 00:03:13.439
<v Speaker 1>arranged to have synopses of their editorials telegraphed to him.

50
00:03:13.680 --> 00:03:16.199
<v Speaker 1>He could not wait for the papers themselves to crawl

51
00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:19.159
<v Speaker 1>along down to Washington by a mail train which has

52
00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:21.680
<v Speaker 1>never run over a cow since the road was built,

53
00:03:22.039 --> 00:03:24.080
<v Speaker 1>for the reason that it has never been able to

54
00:03:24.120 --> 00:03:28.199
<v Speaker 1>overtake one. It carries the usual cow catcher in front

55
00:03:28.240 --> 00:03:32.800
<v Speaker 1>of the locomotive, but this is mere ostentation. It ought

56
00:03:32.800 --> 00:03:35.039
<v Speaker 1>to be attached to the rear car where it could

57
00:03:35.080 --> 00:03:39.039
<v Speaker 1>do some good, but instead no provision is made there

58
00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:42.800
<v Speaker 1>for the protection of the traveling public. And hence it

59
00:03:42.879 --> 00:03:45.639
<v Speaker 1>is not a matter of surprise that cows so frequently

60
00:03:45.680 --> 00:03:50.719
<v Speaker 1>climb aboard that train and among the passengers. The Senator

61
00:03:50.800 --> 00:03:54.560
<v Speaker 1>read his dispatches aloud at the breakfast table. Laura was

62
00:03:54.639 --> 00:03:57.960
<v Speaker 1>troubled beyond measure at their tone, and said that that

63
00:03:58.120 --> 00:04:02.159
<v Speaker 1>sort of comment would defeat the bill. But the Senator said, oh,

64
00:04:02.400 --> 00:04:05.080
<v Speaker 1>not at all, not at all, my child, It is

65
00:04:05.319 --> 00:04:08.759
<v Speaker 1>just what we want. Persecution is the one thing needful

66
00:04:08.840 --> 00:04:13.319
<v Speaker 1>now all the other forces are secured. Give us newspaper

67
00:04:13.360 --> 00:04:18.199
<v Speaker 1>persecution enough, and we are safe. Vigorous persecution will alone

68
00:04:18.279 --> 00:04:21.800
<v Speaker 1>carry a bill sometimes, dear, And when you start with

69
00:04:21.879 --> 00:04:25.319
<v Speaker 1>a strong vote in the first place, persecution comes in

70
00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:29.959
<v Speaker 1>with double effect. It scares off some of the weak supporters, true,

71
00:04:30.480 --> 00:04:34.519
<v Speaker 1>but it soon turns strong ones into stubborn ones, and

72
00:04:34.680 --> 00:04:38.759
<v Speaker 1>then presently it changes the tide of public opinion. The

73
00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:42.800
<v Speaker 1>great public is weak minded, The great public is sentimental.

74
00:04:43.360 --> 00:04:46.759
<v Speaker 1>The great public always turns around and weeps for an

75
00:04:46.759 --> 00:04:51.279
<v Speaker 1>odious murderer, and prays for him, and carries flowers to

76
00:04:51.360 --> 00:04:55.360
<v Speaker 1>his prison, and beseeches the governor with appeals to his clemency.

77
00:04:55.839 --> 00:04:58.120
<v Speaker 1>As soon as the papers begin to howl for that

78
00:04:58.319 --> 00:05:02.279
<v Speaker 1>man's blood. In a word, the great putty hearted public

79
00:05:02.439 --> 00:05:06.800
<v Speaker 1>loves to gush, and there is no such darling opportunity

80
00:05:06.879 --> 00:05:11.720
<v Speaker 1>to gush as a case of persecution affords. Well, uncle dear,

81
00:05:12.319 --> 00:05:15.519
<v Speaker 1>if your theory is right, let us go into raptures,

82
00:05:15.759 --> 00:05:19.399
<v Speaker 1>for nobody can ask a heartier persecution than these editorials

83
00:05:19.399 --> 00:05:22.879
<v Speaker 1>are furnishing. I am not so sure of that, my daughter.

84
00:05:23.519 --> 00:05:25.959
<v Speaker 1>I don't entirely like the tone of some of these remarks.

85
00:05:26.319 --> 00:05:30.720
<v Speaker 1>They lack vim, they lack venom. Here as one calls

86
00:05:30.720 --> 00:05:34.920
<v Speaker 1>it a questionable measure, Bah, there is no strength in that.

87
00:05:35.600 --> 00:05:38.839
<v Speaker 1>This one is better. It calls it highway robbery. That

88
00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:42.959
<v Speaker 1>sounds something like. But now this one seems satisfied to

89
00:05:43.000 --> 00:05:48.519
<v Speaker 1>call it an iniquitous scheme. Iniquitous does not exasperate anybody.

90
00:05:48.879 --> 00:05:52.839
<v Speaker 1>It is weak, poer Isle. The ignorant will imagine it

91
00:05:52.879 --> 00:05:55.639
<v Speaker 1>to be intended for a compliment. But this other one,

92
00:05:55.920 --> 00:06:00.240
<v Speaker 1>the one I read last, has the true ring. This hile,

93
00:06:00.720 --> 00:06:04.519
<v Speaker 1>dirty effort to rob the public treasury by the kites

94
00:06:04.560 --> 00:06:08.480
<v Speaker 1>and vultures that now infess the filthy den called Congress,

95
00:06:09.319 --> 00:06:13.560
<v Speaker 1>That is admirable. Admirable, we must have more of that sort.

96
00:06:14.040 --> 00:06:16.959
<v Speaker 1>But it will come. No fear of that. Eh, they're

97
00:06:17.240 --> 00:06:20.040
<v Speaker 1>not warmed up yet. A week from now you'll see

98
00:06:20.720 --> 00:06:24.800
<v Speaker 1>Uncle you and brother Ballum are bosom friends. Why don't

99
00:06:24.800 --> 00:06:27.920
<v Speaker 1>you get his paper to persecute us too. It isn't

100
00:06:27.959 --> 00:06:31.879
<v Speaker 1>worth while my daughter. His support doesn't hurt a bill.

101
00:06:32.439 --> 00:06:35.600
<v Speaker 1>But nobody reads his editorials but himself. But I wish

102
00:06:35.720 --> 00:06:38.480
<v Speaker 1>the New York papers would talk a little plainer. It

103
00:06:38.560 --> 00:06:40.600
<v Speaker 1>is annoying to have to wait a week for them

104
00:06:40.639 --> 00:06:43.800
<v Speaker 1>to warm up. I expected better things at their hands,

105
00:06:43.959 --> 00:06:48.120
<v Speaker 1>and time is precious. Now at the proper hour, according

106
00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:52.120
<v Speaker 1>to his previous notice, mister Buckstone duly introduced his bill

107
00:06:52.279 --> 00:06:57.120
<v Speaker 1>entitled an Act to Found and Incorporate the Knob's Industrial University,

108
00:06:57.680 --> 00:07:01.600
<v Speaker 1>moved its proper reference, and sat down. The Speaker of

109
00:07:01.639 --> 00:07:05.959
<v Speaker 1>the House rattled off this observation, The objection bill takes

110
00:07:05.959 --> 00:07:11.319
<v Speaker 1>them cussures for Surford. Habitues of the House comprehend that

111
00:07:11.399 --> 00:07:14.839
<v Speaker 1>this long lightning healed word signified that if there was

112
00:07:14.879 --> 00:07:17.439
<v Speaker 1>no objection, the bill would take the customary course of

113
00:07:17.480 --> 00:07:20.319
<v Speaker 1>a measure of its nature and be referred to the

114
00:07:20.319 --> 00:07:25.480
<v Speaker 1>Committee on Benevolent Appropriations, and that it was accordingly so referred.

115
00:07:26.439 --> 00:07:29.439
<v Speaker 1>Strangers merely supposed that the speaker was taking a gargle

116
00:07:29.480 --> 00:07:33.920
<v Speaker 1>for some affection of the throat. The reporters immediately telegraphed

117
00:07:33.959 --> 00:07:37.040
<v Speaker 1>the introduction of the bill, and they added the assertion

118
00:07:37.240 --> 00:07:40.360
<v Speaker 1>that the bill will pass was premature. It is said

119
00:07:40.439 --> 00:07:44.399
<v Speaker 1>that many favorers of it will desert when the storm

120
00:07:44.439 --> 00:07:48.319
<v Speaker 1>breaks upon them. From the public press. The storm came,

121
00:07:48.879 --> 00:07:51.759
<v Speaker 1>and during ten days it waxed more and more violent.

122
00:07:51.879 --> 00:07:56.360
<v Speaker 1>Day by day, the Great Negro University Swindle became the

123
00:07:56.360 --> 00:08:01.199
<v Speaker 1>one absorbing topic of conversation throughout the Union. Individuals denounced it,

124
00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:06.199
<v Speaker 1>journals denounced it, public meetings denounced it. The pictorial papers

125
00:08:06.240 --> 00:08:09.560
<v Speaker 1>caricatured its friends. The whole nation seemed to be growing

126
00:08:09.600 --> 00:08:14.040
<v Speaker 1>frantic over it. Meantime, the Washington correspondents were sending such

127
00:08:14.079 --> 00:08:19.000
<v Speaker 1>telegrams as these abroad in the land under date of Saturday.

128
00:08:19.399 --> 00:08:23.040
<v Speaker 1>Congressmen Jax and Fluke are wavering. It is believed they

129
00:08:23.079 --> 00:08:27.680
<v Speaker 1>will desert the execrable bill Monday. Jacks and Fluke have

130
00:08:27.800 --> 00:08:32.840
<v Speaker 1>deserted Thursday. Tubs and Huffey left the sinking ship last night.

131
00:08:33.600 --> 00:08:37.840
<v Speaker 1>Later on three desertions. The university thieves are getting scared,

132
00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:41.559
<v Speaker 1>though they will not own it. Later, the leaders are

133
00:08:41.559 --> 00:08:44.480
<v Speaker 1>growing stubborn. They swear they can carry it, but it

134
00:08:44.519 --> 00:08:47.360
<v Speaker 1>is now almost certain that they no longer have a majority.

135
00:08:48.279 --> 00:08:51.679
<v Speaker 1>After a day or two of reluctant and ambiguous telegrams,

136
00:08:52.360 --> 00:08:56.039
<v Speaker 1>public sentiment seems changing a trifle in favor of the bill,

137
00:08:56.279 --> 00:09:00.000
<v Speaker 1>but only a trifle. And still later it is whispered

138
00:09:00.440 --> 00:09:03.440
<v Speaker 1>that the honorable mister Trollop has gone over to the pirates.

139
00:09:03.879 --> 00:09:07.559
<v Speaker 1>It is probably a canard. Mister Trollop has all along

140
00:09:07.639 --> 00:09:11.080
<v Speaker 1>been the bravest and most efficient champion of virtue and

141
00:09:11.159 --> 00:09:14.679
<v Speaker 1>the people against the bill, and the report is without

142
00:09:14.759 --> 00:09:20.519
<v Speaker 1>doubt a shameless invention. Next day, with characteristic treachery, the

143
00:09:20.600 --> 00:09:25.240
<v Speaker 1>truckling and pusillanimous, reptile, crippled speech, Trollop has gone over

144
00:09:25.279 --> 00:09:28.120
<v Speaker 1>to the enemy. It is contended now that he has

145
00:09:28.159 --> 00:09:30.440
<v Speaker 1>been a friend to the bill in secret since the

146
00:09:30.519 --> 00:09:33.679
<v Speaker 1>day it was introduced, and has had bankable reasons for

147
00:09:33.759 --> 00:09:37.000
<v Speaker 1>being so. But he himself declares that he has gone

148
00:09:37.000 --> 00:09:40.240
<v Speaker 1>over because the malignant persecution of the bill by the

149
00:09:40.279 --> 00:09:44.360
<v Speaker 1>newspapers caused him to study its provisions with more care

150
00:09:44.480 --> 00:09:48.639
<v Speaker 1>than he had previously done, and this close examination revealed

151
00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:51.559
<v Speaker 1>the fact that the measure is one in every way

152
00:09:51.679 --> 00:09:56.279
<v Speaker 1>worthy of support pretty thin. It cannot be denied that

153
00:09:56.360 --> 00:10:00.360
<v Speaker 1>this desertion has had a damaging effect. Jax and Fluke

154
00:10:00.399 --> 00:10:04.120
<v Speaker 1>have returned to their iniquitous allegiance with six or eight

155
00:10:04.200 --> 00:10:08.080
<v Speaker 1>others of lesser caliber, and it is reported and believed

156
00:10:08.120 --> 00:10:11.440
<v Speaker 1>that Tubbs and Huffy are ready to go back. It

157
00:10:11.519 --> 00:10:15.320
<v Speaker 1>is feared that the University swindle is stronger today than

158
00:10:15.360 --> 00:10:20.080
<v Speaker 1>it has ever been before. Later midnight, it is said

159
00:10:20.159 --> 00:10:23.320
<v Speaker 1>that the Committee will report the bill back tomorrow. Both

160
00:10:23.399 --> 00:10:26.360
<v Speaker 1>sides are marshaling their forces, and the fight on this

161
00:10:26.440 --> 00:10:29.519
<v Speaker 1>bill is evidently going to be the hottest of the session.

162
00:10:30.279 --> 00:10:38.559
<v Speaker 1>All Washington is boiling. End of Chapter forty three