Speaker 1: This is section forty three of The Gilded Age. This
Speaker 1: LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age,
Speaker 1: A Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and C. D. Warner,
Speaker 1: Chapter forty three. The very next day, sure enough the
Speaker 1: campaign opened. In due course, the Speaker of the House
Speaker 1: reached that order of business which is termed notices of bills,
Speaker 1: and then the honorable mister Buckstone rose in his place
Speaker 1: and gave notice of a bill to found and incorporate
Speaker 1: the Knob's Industrial University, and then sat down without saying
Speaker 1: anything further. The busy gentlemen in the reporter's gallery jotted
Speaker 1: a line in their note books, ran to the telegraphic
Speaker 1: desk in a room which communicated with their own writing parlor,
Speaker 1: and then hurried back to their places in the gallery.
Speaker 1: And by the time they had resumed their seats, the
Speaker 1: line which they had delivered to the operator had been
Speaker 1: read in telegraphic offices in towns and cities hundreds of
Speaker 1: miles away. It was distinguished by frankness of language as
Speaker 1: well as by brevity. The child is born. Buckstone gives
Speaker 1: notice of the thieving Knobs University job. It is said
Speaker 1: the noses have been counted and enough votes have been
Speaker 1: bought to pass it. For some time the correspondents had
Speaker 1: been posting their several journals upon the alleged disreputable nature
Speaker 1: of the bill and furnishing daily reports of the Washington
Speaker 1: gossip concerning it. So the next morning, nearly every newspaper
Speaker 1: of character in the land assailed the measure and hurled
Speaker 1: broadsides of invective at mister Buckstone. The Washington papers were
Speaker 1: more respectful as usual and conciliatory. Also as usual, they
Speaker 1: generally supported measures when it was possible, but when they
Speaker 1: could not, they deprecated violent expressions of opinion. In other
Speaker 1: journalistic quarters, they always deprecated when there was trouble ahead. However,
Speaker 1: the Washington Daily Love Feast hailed the bill with warm approbation.
Speaker 1: This was Senator Ballam's paper, or rather Brother Ballam, as
Speaker 1: he was popularly called, for he had been a clergyman
Speaker 1: in his day, and he himself and all that he did,
Speaker 1: still emitted an odor of sanctity. Now that he had
Speaker 1: diverged into journalism and politics. He was a power in
Speaker 1: the Congressional Prayer meeting and in all movements that looked
Speaker 1: to the spread of religion. And temperance. His paper supported
Speaker 1: the new bill with gushing affection. It was a noble measure,
Speaker 1: It was a just measure, It was a generous measure.
Speaker 1: It was a pure measure, and that surely should recommend
Speaker 1: it in these corrupt times. And finally, if the nature
Speaker 1: of the bill were not known at all, the love
Speaker 1: feast would support it anyway and unhesitatingly, for the fact
Speaker 1: that Senator Dilworthy was the originator of the measure was
Speaker 1: a guarantee that it contemplated a worthy and righteous work.
Speaker 1: Senator Dilworthy was so anxious to know what the New
Speaker 1: York papers would say about the bill that he had
Speaker 1: arranged to have synopses of their editorials telegraphed to him.
Speaker 1: He could not wait for the papers themselves to crawl
Speaker 1: along down to Washington by a mail train which has
Speaker 1: never run over a cow since the road was built,
Speaker 1: for the reason that it has never been able to
Speaker 1: overtake one. It carries the usual cow catcher in front
Speaker 1: of the locomotive, but this is mere ostentation. It ought
Speaker 1: to be attached to the rear car where it could
Speaker 1: do some good, but instead no provision is made there
Speaker 1: for the protection of the traveling public. And hence it
Speaker 1: is not a matter of surprise that cows so frequently
Speaker 1: climb aboard that train and among the passengers. The Senator
Speaker 1: read his dispatches aloud at the breakfast table. Laura was
Speaker 1: troubled beyond measure at their tone, and said that that
Speaker 1: sort of comment would defeat the bill. But the Senator said, oh,
Speaker 1: not at all, not at all, my child, It is
Speaker 1: just what we want. Persecution is the one thing needful
Speaker 1: now all the other forces are secured. Give us newspaper
Speaker 1: persecution enough, and we are safe. Vigorous persecution will alone
Speaker 1: carry a bill sometimes, dear, And when you start with
Speaker 1: a strong vote in the first place, persecution comes in
Speaker 1: with double effect. It scares off some of the weak supporters, true,
Speaker 1: but it soon turns strong ones into stubborn ones, and
Speaker 1: then presently it changes the tide of public opinion. The
Speaker 1: great public is weak minded, The great public is sentimental.
Speaker 1: The great public always turns around and weeps for an
Speaker 1: odious murderer, and prays for him, and carries flowers to
Speaker 1: his prison, and beseeches the governor with appeals to his clemency.
Speaker 1: As soon as the papers begin to howl for that
Speaker 1: man's blood. In a word, the great putty hearted public
Speaker 1: loves to gush, and there is no such darling opportunity
Speaker 1: to gush as a case of persecution affords. Well, uncle dear,
Speaker 1: if your theory is right, let us go into raptures,
Speaker 1: for nobody can ask a heartier persecution than these editorials
Speaker 1: are furnishing. I am not so sure of that, my daughter.
Speaker 1: I don't entirely like the tone of some of these remarks.
Speaker 1: They lack vim, they lack venom. Here as one calls
Speaker 1: it a questionable measure, Bah, there is no strength in that.
Speaker 1: This one is better. It calls it highway robbery. That
Speaker 1: sounds something like. But now this one seems satisfied to
Speaker 1: call it an iniquitous scheme. Iniquitous does not exasperate anybody.
Speaker 1: It is weak, poer Isle. The ignorant will imagine it
Speaker 1: to be intended for a compliment. But this other one,
Speaker 1: the one I read last, has the true ring. This hile,
Speaker 1: dirty effort to rob the public treasury by the kites
Speaker 1: and vultures that now infess the filthy den called Congress,
Speaker 1: That is admirable. Admirable, we must have more of that sort.
Speaker 1: But it will come. No fear of that. Eh, they're
Speaker 1: not warmed up yet. A week from now you'll see
Speaker 1: Uncle you and brother Ballum are bosom friends. Why don't
Speaker 1: you get his paper to persecute us too. It isn't
Speaker 1: worth while my daughter. His support doesn't hurt a bill.
Speaker 1: But nobody reads his editorials but himself. But I wish
Speaker 1: the New York papers would talk a little plainer. It
Speaker 1: is annoying to have to wait a week for them
Speaker 1: to warm up. I expected better things at their hands,
Speaker 1: and time is precious. Now at the proper hour, according
Speaker 1: to his previous notice, mister Buckstone duly introduced his bill
Speaker 1: entitled an Act to Found and Incorporate the Knob's Industrial University,
Speaker 1: moved its proper reference, and sat down. The Speaker of
Speaker 1: the House rattled off this observation, The objection bill takes
Speaker 1: them cussures for Surford. Habitues of the House comprehend that
Speaker 1: this long lightning healed word signified that if there was
Speaker 1: no objection, the bill would take the customary course of
Speaker 1: a measure of its nature and be referred to the
Speaker 1: Committee on Benevolent Appropriations, and that it was accordingly so referred.
Speaker 1: Strangers merely supposed that the speaker was taking a gargle
Speaker 1: for some affection of the throat. The reporters immediately telegraphed
Speaker 1: the introduction of the bill, and they added the assertion
Speaker 1: that the bill will pass was premature. It is said
Speaker 1: that many favorers of it will desert when the storm
Speaker 1: breaks upon them. From the public press. The storm came,
Speaker 1: and during ten days it waxed more and more violent.
Speaker 1: Day by day, the Great Negro University Swindle became the
Speaker 1: one absorbing topic of conversation throughout the Union. Individuals denounced it,
Speaker 1: journals denounced it, public meetings denounced it. The pictorial papers
Speaker 1: caricatured its friends. The whole nation seemed to be growing
Speaker 1: frantic over it. Meantime, the Washington correspondents were sending such
Speaker 1: telegrams as these abroad in the land under date of Saturday.
Speaker 1: Congressmen Jax and Fluke are wavering. It is believed they
Speaker 1: will desert the execrable bill Monday. Jacks and Fluke have
Speaker 1: deserted Thursday. Tubs and Huffey left the sinking ship last night.
Speaker 1: Later on three desertions. The university thieves are getting scared,
Speaker 1: though they will not own it. Later, the leaders are
Speaker 1: growing stubborn. They swear they can carry it, but it
Speaker 1: is now almost certain that they no longer have a majority.
Speaker 1: After a day or two of reluctant and ambiguous telegrams,
Speaker 1: public sentiment seems changing a trifle in favor of the bill,
Speaker 1: but only a trifle. And still later it is whispered
Speaker 1: that the honorable mister Trollop has gone over to the pirates.
Speaker 1: It is probably a canard. Mister Trollop has all along
Speaker 1: been the bravest and most efficient champion of virtue and
Speaker 1: the people against the bill, and the report is without
Speaker 1: doubt a shameless invention. Next day, with characteristic treachery, the
Speaker 1: truckling and pusillanimous, reptile, crippled speech, Trollop has gone over
Speaker 1: to the enemy. It is contended now that he has
Speaker 1: been a friend to the bill in secret since the
Speaker 1: day it was introduced, and has had bankable reasons for
Speaker 1: being so. But he himself declares that he has gone
Speaker 1: over because the malignant persecution of the bill by the
Speaker 1: newspapers caused him to study its provisions with more care
Speaker 1: than he had previously done, and this close examination revealed
Speaker 1: the fact that the measure is one in every way
Speaker 1: worthy of support pretty thin. It cannot be denied that
Speaker 1: this desertion has had a damaging effect. Jax and Fluke
Speaker 1: have returned to their iniquitous allegiance with six or eight
Speaker 1: others of lesser caliber, and it is reported and believed
Speaker 1: that Tubbs and Huffy are ready to go back. It
Speaker 1: is feared that the University swindle is stronger today than
Speaker 1: it has ever been before. Later midnight, it is said
Speaker 1: that the Committee will report the bill back tomorrow. Both
Speaker 1: sides are marshaling their forces, and the fight on this
Speaker 1: bill is evidently going to be the hottest of the session.
Speaker 1: All Washington is boiling. End of Chapter forty three