WEBVTT

1
00:00:01.360 --> 00:00:07.240
<v Speaker 1>It's Night Side with Dan Ray on WBZ Boston's news radio.

2
00:00:08.599 --> 00:00:10.759
<v Speaker 2>Dad is off this Greek Gary tangway back in along

3
00:00:10.800 --> 00:00:13.560
<v Speaker 2>with you here on WBZ Boston's news radio. We got

4
00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:15.519
<v Speaker 2>a great ChIL lined up for you tonight here on

5
00:00:15.720 --> 00:00:19.399
<v Speaker 2>night Side. We're gonna touch all the bases, touch all

6
00:00:19.399 --> 00:00:28.359
<v Speaker 2>the basis, parenting, politics, comedy, television, attitudes, you name it,

7
00:00:29.199 --> 00:00:32.039
<v Speaker 2>We've got you covered here on WBC. Coming up on

8
00:00:32.039 --> 00:00:33.840
<v Speaker 2>the show tonight, and our first guest we're going to

9
00:00:33.920 --> 00:00:37.200
<v Speaker 2>join momentarily over parenting. I'm really hot on this ship.

10
00:00:37.399 --> 00:00:40.159
<v Speaker 2>I am really This is a thing near and dear

11
00:00:40.200 --> 00:00:41.920
<v Speaker 2>to my heart, probably because I've been guilty of it

12
00:00:41.920 --> 00:00:45.079
<v Speaker 2>from time to time, but I think it's really it

13
00:00:45.240 --> 00:00:49.399
<v Speaker 2>is the problem for our young people. And also, you know,

14
00:00:49.479 --> 00:00:52.359
<v Speaker 2>Kamala Harris is running for president. Everybody points out how

15
00:00:52.439 --> 00:00:56.079
<v Speaker 2>bad she's been as a vice president, but somebody's been

16
00:00:56.119 --> 00:00:59.359
<v Speaker 2>a bad vice president. No one knows, come on, they're

17
00:00:59.359 --> 00:01:02.359
<v Speaker 2>a figurehead. We don't know. She made a poor campaign originally,

18
00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:09.040
<v Speaker 2>but there are instances where we have had people become

19
00:01:09.120 --> 00:01:13.760
<v Speaker 2>presidents who have surprised us. Harry Truman, for one, did

20
00:01:13.799 --> 00:01:16.480
<v Speaker 2>anybody know Barack Obama would be as successful as he

21
00:01:16.640 --> 00:01:18.680
<v Speaker 2>was Bill Clinton. My wife said, oh, I knew Bill

22
00:01:18.680 --> 00:01:20.680
<v Speaker 2>Clinton was going to be a great president. I said, no,

23
00:01:20.840 --> 00:01:24.439
<v Speaker 2>you did, not, nat She said, yes I did, And

24
00:01:24.439 --> 00:01:27.519
<v Speaker 2>I said, yes, none. You're right. So we'll talk to

25
00:01:27.959 --> 00:01:29.879
<v Speaker 2>Alan Lickman, who's been a guest on the show before,

26
00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:34.760
<v Speaker 2>professor of history from American University, on that The Righteous

27
00:01:34.840 --> 00:01:38.120
<v Speaker 2>gem Stones, one of the great comedies on television. We'll

28
00:01:38.159 --> 00:01:40.239
<v Speaker 2>go into the writer's room coming up at nine o'clock

29
00:01:40.280 --> 00:01:42.680
<v Speaker 2>on that. So that's all coming up here on WBC.

30
00:01:42.840 --> 00:01:46.280
<v Speaker 2>But first up, since kids are going back to college,

31
00:01:46.319 --> 00:01:51.040
<v Speaker 2>and if you were driving around Boston this weekend, the

32
00:01:51.120 --> 00:01:56.359
<v Speaker 2>students were back. Yep, we saw it. Cars, trucks, U

33
00:01:56.359 --> 00:01:59.680
<v Speaker 2>haul trucks, mattresses on top of the car. It doesn't change.

34
00:01:59.760 --> 00:02:03.120
<v Speaker 2>It's the same old thing. Nervous parents dropping off freshman

35
00:02:03.159 --> 00:02:07.560
<v Speaker 2>at BU or bcor U, Mass or Brandee or wherever.

36
00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:11.280
<v Speaker 2>It's the same thing every year. Then you see the

37
00:02:11.319 --> 00:02:13.960
<v Speaker 2>seniors they come waltzing in, they have their own cars,

38
00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:16.520
<v Speaker 2>they drive in, they've got it all figured out. They're

39
00:02:16.599 --> 00:02:19.520
<v Speaker 2>ready to go. And joining us right now is professional

40
00:02:19.520 --> 00:02:23.800
<v Speaker 2>counselor Michelle Dean, and we are going to talk about overparenting,

41
00:02:24.639 --> 00:02:27.599
<v Speaker 2>and you know, Michelle, I have real First of all,

42
00:02:27.639 --> 00:02:29.080
<v Speaker 2>thank you for joining us here on the night side.

43
00:02:29.960 --> 00:02:31.240
<v Speaker 3>Thanks Arry for telling me.

44
00:02:31.400 --> 00:02:35.120
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I can tell you that when it comes to

45
00:02:35.159 --> 00:02:39.360
<v Speaker 2>the college scene, that's where I see the overparenting really

46
00:02:39.360 --> 00:02:42.520
<v Speaker 2>out of control, probably because that's what's been going on

47
00:02:42.599 --> 00:02:44.560
<v Speaker 2>in my house lately, right I mean, I have a

48
00:02:44.599 --> 00:02:47.800
<v Speaker 2>twenty two year old who just graduated from college, I

49
00:02:47.840 --> 00:02:49.639
<v Speaker 2>have a nineteen year old who I just talked to

50
00:02:49.680 --> 00:02:52.159
<v Speaker 2>on the phone who's at college, and I have a

51
00:02:52.199 --> 00:02:54.759
<v Speaker 2>thirteen year old who's in eighth grade. So I've got

52
00:02:54.800 --> 00:02:58.719
<v Speaker 2>a little bit of a break there. But do you

53
00:02:58.840 --> 00:03:01.479
<v Speaker 2>feel that that's the case or is that just because

54
00:03:01.879 --> 00:03:03.400
<v Speaker 2>that's the world I'm in right now?

55
00:03:05.039 --> 00:03:06.919
<v Speaker 3>Could be just the world you're in right now, but

56
00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:11.319
<v Speaker 3>also could also be the case. I've seen a lot

57
00:03:11.360 --> 00:03:14.800
<v Speaker 3>with the kids that i've worked with college age, even

58
00:03:14.919 --> 00:03:22.280
<v Speaker 3>like high school. It really depends on the parents sometimes

59
00:03:22.560 --> 00:03:25.680
<v Speaker 3>that they are helping them a little bit more in

60
00:03:25.919 --> 00:03:29.360
<v Speaker 3>times of transition. But then on the other side, you

61
00:03:29.439 --> 00:03:34.800
<v Speaker 3>see parents who really haven't been there supporting their kids.

62
00:03:35.400 --> 00:03:39.000
<v Speaker 2>Do you think it's economic, because when I see what

63
00:03:39.240 --> 00:03:45.000
<v Speaker 2>I see is I see single income households where one

64
00:03:45.039 --> 00:03:48.280
<v Speaker 2>partner does not have to work. And I'm not going

65
00:03:48.319 --> 00:03:50.919
<v Speaker 2>to be sexist enough to say that it's always the mom,

66
00:03:51.400 --> 00:03:55.599
<v Speaker 2>because I'm the stay at home dad that comes in

67
00:03:55.599 --> 00:03:58.000
<v Speaker 2>and plays ready at night from time to time. Okay,

68
00:03:58.879 --> 00:04:02.800
<v Speaker 2>So do you think it's parents who have too much

69
00:04:02.840 --> 00:04:09.479
<v Speaker 2>time on their hands. They're economically fortunate, they were successful themselves,

70
00:04:11.280 --> 00:04:15.680
<v Speaker 2>and they have the time to drive their kid crazy

71
00:04:15.800 --> 00:04:17.560
<v Speaker 2>when it comes to getting into college.

72
00:04:19.759 --> 00:04:24.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. I think that's a really good point that sometimes, yeah,

73
00:04:24.959 --> 00:04:28.720
<v Speaker 3>this is the case. You're even seeing now where parents

74
00:04:28.759 --> 00:04:33.480
<v Speaker 3>will hire a kind of like the coach, like a

75
00:04:33.519 --> 00:04:34.839
<v Speaker 3>college coach that helps them.

76
00:04:34.879 --> 00:04:38.519
<v Speaker 2>Director, Michelle, I got to stop you. It is it

77
00:04:38.560 --> 00:04:42.480
<v Speaker 2>is assumed. It is assumed. I cannot tell you what

78
00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:47.720
<v Speaker 2>we paid for it. And Michelle, Oh, oh my god. Yeah, listen, Michelle,

79
00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:49.399
<v Speaker 2>can we talk? Can we talk here? Michelle?

80
00:04:49.480 --> 00:04:50.199
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Okay.

81
00:04:50.279 --> 00:04:53.040
<v Speaker 2>Now, I went to the University of Maine and I

82
00:04:53.079 --> 00:04:55.600
<v Speaker 2>wanted and I come from a small town in Maine,

83
00:04:55.720 --> 00:04:58.639
<v Speaker 2>and I wanted to go to Emerson. Interestingly enough, I've

84
00:04:58.680 --> 00:05:00.959
<v Speaker 2>been teaching there lately, which is great. I wanted to

85
00:05:00.959 --> 00:05:04.079
<v Speaker 2>go to Emerson. I want to go to bu It

86
00:05:04.199 --> 00:05:07.480
<v Speaker 2>just wasn't gonna happen for a lot of reasons. So

87
00:05:07.560 --> 00:05:09.879
<v Speaker 2>I went to the University of Maine and I had

88
00:05:09.879 --> 00:05:12.519
<v Speaker 2>two colleges. I had the University of Southern Maine and

89
00:05:12.680 --> 00:05:16.560
<v Speaker 2>University of me My daughter had like twelve. I mean,

90
00:05:16.720 --> 00:05:22.959
<v Speaker 2>are are admission fees? Not even in mission fees, application fees.

91
00:05:23.439 --> 00:05:26.720
<v Speaker 2>It was a mortgage payment, so freaking more, it was

92
00:05:26.759 --> 00:05:32.399
<v Speaker 2>a freaking mortgage payment. And then and then I said,

93
00:05:32.680 --> 00:05:35.199
<v Speaker 2>we have to hire a consultant. And here's the thing

94
00:05:35.199 --> 00:05:37.600
<v Speaker 2>that scares me about the college system right now, and

95
00:05:37.639 --> 00:05:40.639
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna get off on it. You probably have experienced

96
00:05:40.639 --> 00:05:43.600
<v Speaker 2>with this is it's all about playing games. We were

97
00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:46.759
<v Speaker 2>at a Labor Day function today Labor Day, you know,

98
00:05:46.879 --> 00:05:50.399
<v Speaker 2>barbecue type thing in a pool, and one of the

99
00:05:50.480 --> 00:05:55.319
<v Speaker 2>parents said, well, uh, because in the town I live

100
00:05:55.360 --> 00:05:58.879
<v Speaker 2>in in Massachusetts, there's a lot of kids that go

101
00:05:58.920 --> 00:06:01.279
<v Speaker 2>to one particular school and that particular school is the

102
00:06:01.319 --> 00:06:05.959
<v Speaker 2>University of South Carolina. And the discussion was, well, you know,

103
00:06:06.439 --> 00:06:08.680
<v Speaker 2>he or she should not apply to the University of

104
00:06:08.680 --> 00:06:10.839
<v Speaker 2>South Carolina because they already have too many kids from

105
00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:15.600
<v Speaker 2>this town there. And that's that's how involved parents have

106
00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:19.639
<v Speaker 2>become with these counselors, where I know we had a

107
00:06:19.639 --> 00:06:23.759
<v Speaker 2>consultant for our daughter that and for our son that said, well,

108
00:06:23.800 --> 00:06:27.399
<v Speaker 2>if you apply to this school, they like kids from

109
00:06:27.399 --> 00:06:31.519
<v Speaker 2>the Northeast, or they like kids from the market backgrounds,

110
00:06:31.600 --> 00:06:34.439
<v Speaker 2>or they like kids from certain ethnic backgrounds, or you

111
00:06:34.519 --> 00:06:40.600
<v Speaker 2>have to check certain boxes. Like it's crazy, it's crazy,

112
00:06:40.839 --> 00:06:42.759
<v Speaker 2>And then that drives the parents crazy.

113
00:06:44.199 --> 00:06:47.360
<v Speaker 3>Well it starts even younger now too, with how much

114
00:06:47.720 --> 00:06:50.360
<v Speaker 3>the schools are pushing the kids to the side, you know,

115
00:06:50.439 --> 00:06:54.800
<v Speaker 3>even what track they want to do right and that depends,

116
00:06:54.920 --> 00:06:57.600
<v Speaker 3>you know on then that's what track they go to

117
00:06:57.639 --> 00:07:01.120
<v Speaker 3>high school and they're not equipped to know what they

118
00:07:01.160 --> 00:07:02.639
<v Speaker 3>want to do right now.

119
00:07:02.800 --> 00:07:03.680
<v Speaker 2>It drives me crazy.

120
00:07:03.879 --> 00:07:07.720
<v Speaker 3>Almost yeah, I think schools would almost be would be

121
00:07:07.839 --> 00:07:11.199
<v Speaker 3>a lot better off preparing them, to help them apply

122
00:07:11.319 --> 00:07:18.959
<v Speaker 3>for schools and help them, you know, get jobs resumes.

123
00:07:19.959 --> 00:07:22.839
<v Speaker 3>I wonder if some of that comes from the schools

124
00:07:22.920 --> 00:07:26.759
<v Speaker 3>also pushing college and deciding what you're going to do

125
00:07:26.920 --> 00:07:27.639
<v Speaker 3>so early on.

126
00:07:28.040 --> 00:07:30.120
<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean, look, like I said, I teach at Emerson.

127
00:07:30.160 --> 00:07:31.879
<v Speaker 2>I think it's a great school. I think the kids

128
00:07:31.879 --> 00:07:34.000
<v Speaker 2>that go to Emerson it's a very specialized school. They

129
00:07:34.079 --> 00:07:35.720
<v Speaker 2>know what they want to do. But I will tell

130
00:07:35.720 --> 00:07:39.199
<v Speaker 2>you that post secondary education is a huge business, and

131
00:07:39.279 --> 00:07:41.839
<v Speaker 2>the prices have to come down. I mean, I mean

132
00:07:41.839 --> 00:07:43.879
<v Speaker 2>that's another topic. I mean, you know what Syracuse is

133
00:07:43.959 --> 00:07:47.120
<v Speaker 2>ninety grand. I mean, it's crazy. People can't afford it.

134
00:07:47.160 --> 00:07:50.000
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's just it's out of control. This is

135
00:07:50.040 --> 00:07:52.879
<v Speaker 2>no way right. And then when you get out of school,

136
00:07:52.920 --> 00:07:54.839
<v Speaker 2>if you have loans, if you're not fortunate enough to

137
00:07:54.839 --> 00:07:58.399
<v Speaker 2>have your parents pay for them, then you've got to

138
00:07:58.399 --> 00:07:59.959
<v Speaker 2>figure out how am I going to pay all this back?

139
00:08:01.120 --> 00:08:03.600
<v Speaker 2>And that's another thing. Parents look at the investment and

140
00:08:03.639 --> 00:08:07.600
<v Speaker 2>when they look at the situation for college. Excuse me,

141
00:08:07.720 --> 00:08:10.680
<v Speaker 2>is that they go, look, I'm paying four hundred grand.

142
00:08:11.439 --> 00:08:14.240
<v Speaker 2>I want to be involved. And when they're too involved,

143
00:08:14.279 --> 00:08:19.199
<v Speaker 2>that just screws up the kid. Yeah, go ahead, I'm sorry, Oh,

144
00:08:19.279 --> 00:08:20.120
<v Speaker 2>go go for it.

145
00:08:20.160 --> 00:08:22.040
<v Speaker 3>I was going to say, I see a lot where

146
00:08:22.079 --> 00:08:26.079
<v Speaker 3>there's a delay in the ability to want to take

147
00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:31.199
<v Speaker 3>responsibility for making a decision, where kids like are coming

148
00:08:31.240 --> 00:08:34.360
<v Speaker 3>in and saying, now, will my parents have helped me

149
00:08:36.799 --> 00:08:41.639
<v Speaker 3>make a decision on what career, what path I should take? Now?

150
00:08:41.679 --> 00:08:44.799
<v Speaker 3>I'm not happy. Now I don't know what to do

151
00:08:44.960 --> 00:08:48.480
<v Speaker 3>three four years and I don't know who I am,

152
00:08:49.000 --> 00:08:52.600
<v Speaker 3>which age appropriately, Yeah, that makes sense. Of them not

153
00:08:52.639 --> 00:08:55.399
<v Speaker 3>really understanding who they are, what they value. But if

154
00:08:55.399 --> 00:08:58.120
<v Speaker 3>their parents aren't helping them really figure out those things

155
00:08:58.120 --> 00:09:02.200
<v Speaker 3>and saying asking them questions, helping them with credible thinking,

156
00:09:02.320 --> 00:09:05.600
<v Speaker 3>what's the point in helping them with their resume or

157
00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:11.960
<v Speaker 3>helping them get into college if they can't get them

158
00:09:11.960 --> 00:09:13.399
<v Speaker 3>to think for themselves.

159
00:09:13.919 --> 00:09:15.600
<v Speaker 2>Michelle, you and I are on the same page. And

160
00:09:15.639 --> 00:09:17.519
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to tell you something else that really pisses

161
00:09:17.559 --> 00:09:20.240
<v Speaker 2>me off, and that's coming up next. Michelle Dean joins us.

162
00:09:20.600 --> 00:09:24.399
<v Speaker 2>We're talking about how we pairent our kids. We need

163
00:09:24.440 --> 00:09:26.639
<v Speaker 2>to chill out more coming up on WBZ.

164
00:09:28.519 --> 00:09:31.519
<v Speaker 1>Now back to Dan Ray Live from the Window World

165
00:09:31.639 --> 00:09:35.120
<v Speaker 1>Night Side Studios on WBZ News Radio.

166
00:09:36.240 --> 00:09:38.279
<v Speaker 2>Parents, How we screw up? That's the topic here. Gary

167
00:09:38.320 --> 00:09:40.200
<v Speaker 2>Tangley a night side for thinking for Dan. Who's off

168
00:09:40.200 --> 00:09:42.000
<v Speaker 2>this week so you get you know who for the

169
00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:45.960
<v Speaker 2>next five days. Our friend Michelle Dean joins us, she's

170
00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:52.120
<v Speaker 2>a professional counselor deals with this sort of thing. Sorry,

171
00:09:52.440 --> 00:09:55.399
<v Speaker 2>had to clear the throat there, Okay, Michelle, what I

172
00:09:55.440 --> 00:09:57.559
<v Speaker 2>was telling you before the break what really pisses me off?

173
00:09:57.559 --> 00:09:59.519
<v Speaker 2>And I've seen parents do it, and I keep my

174
00:09:59.559 --> 00:10:01.720
<v Speaker 2>mouth shut because it's none of my business and it's

175
00:10:01.759 --> 00:10:05.399
<v Speaker 2>not my kid, but they'll go, you know, there's a

176
00:10:05.440 --> 00:10:09.759
<v Speaker 2>real opportunity in this field, or there's a real opportunity

177
00:10:09.799 --> 00:10:11.799
<v Speaker 2>doing that. For example, I had a conversation the other

178
00:10:11.879 --> 00:10:14.200
<v Speaker 2>day with this gentleman who's in his seventies who's retired

179
00:10:14.240 --> 00:10:17.120
<v Speaker 2>now made a ton of money, very Wealthy's fine, he

180
00:10:17.120 --> 00:10:22.279
<v Speaker 2>was a dentist, worked all the time, and he did

181
00:10:22.519 --> 00:10:25.399
<v Speaker 2>very well. But I remember, you know, I've had a

182
00:10:25.519 --> 00:10:27.840
<v Speaker 2>number of people that are dentists and lawyers that have

183
00:10:27.919 --> 00:10:31.759
<v Speaker 2>told me their parents directed them into that field. I

184
00:10:31.840 --> 00:10:36.120
<v Speaker 2>know one lawyer who's happy to be a lawyer one

185
00:10:36.320 --> 00:10:40.360
<v Speaker 2>and I know like thirty of them. And dental school.

186
00:10:40.399 --> 00:10:43.559
<v Speaker 2>The same thing, like my father in law who said, yeah,

187
00:10:43.559 --> 00:10:45.080
<v Speaker 2>you know, I was either going to go to law

188
00:10:45.120 --> 00:10:47.159
<v Speaker 2>school to dentist school, you know, because my parents thought

189
00:10:47.200 --> 00:10:49.799
<v Speaker 2>that was like the right thing to do. And does

190
00:10:49.799 --> 00:10:52.960
<v Speaker 2>that And that still happens in my household. And I

191
00:10:52.960 --> 00:10:55.120
<v Speaker 2>don't know. Maybe my kids will be broke, who knows,

192
00:10:55.399 --> 00:10:57.440
<v Speaker 2>but they're going to be happy. I said, you got

193
00:10:57.519 --> 00:10:59.720
<v Speaker 2>to follow your passion. My dad worked in a mill

194
00:10:59.759 --> 00:11:02.639
<v Speaker 2>for thirty five years in Rumford, Maine. Those days are over,

195
00:11:02.960 --> 00:11:05.799
<v Speaker 2>it's not happening. No one works for one company now

196
00:11:06.120 --> 00:11:09.039
<v Speaker 2>for longer than five years. There's no more gold Watch.

197
00:11:09.519 --> 00:11:12.120
<v Speaker 2>So like, telling a kid what they should do for

198
00:11:12.159 --> 00:11:15.600
<v Speaker 2>a living, to me, is a license for disaster for

199
00:11:15.639 --> 00:11:16.000
<v Speaker 2>the kid.

200
00:11:19.279 --> 00:11:22.320
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I definitely agree with you there. If you're not

201
00:11:22.440 --> 00:11:25.320
<v Speaker 3>letting your kid make their own decisions and giving them

202
00:11:25.320 --> 00:11:28.559
<v Speaker 3>a safe place to fall when they do make their

203
00:11:28.559 --> 00:11:30.840
<v Speaker 3>wrong decision and learn how to pick themselves back up,

204
00:11:30.879 --> 00:11:35.200
<v Speaker 3>you're really that's going to be detrimental to the kid's

205
00:11:35.240 --> 00:11:38.600
<v Speaker 3>success to be able to figure out things on their own.

206
00:11:39.799 --> 00:11:41.919
<v Speaker 2>So, I mean, so, why is that? Why do you

207
00:11:41.960 --> 00:11:43.360
<v Speaker 2>think a parent does.

208
00:11:43.159 --> 00:11:50.320
<v Speaker 3>That anxiety fear that their kid isn't going to make

209
00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:53.559
<v Speaker 3>the right decision. Maybe they don't trust their kids, maybe

210
00:11:53.600 --> 00:11:57.279
<v Speaker 3>their kid has trouble making decisions. I think there could

211
00:11:57.320 --> 00:12:01.240
<v Speaker 3>be so many circumstances where a parent makes a decision

212
00:12:01.399 --> 00:12:05.799
<v Speaker 3>to push their kids a certain way. Maybe they didn't

213
00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:10.639
<v Speaker 3>have someone like that, so then they're overcompensating the other way.

214
00:12:12.200 --> 00:12:16.480
<v Speaker 3>And I think that it's it's really important for parents

215
00:12:16.519 --> 00:12:19.039
<v Speaker 3>to be able to be aware that this is something

216
00:12:20.720 --> 00:12:24.639
<v Speaker 3>that is happening and that's happened in the past. I'm

217
00:12:24.679 --> 00:12:28.080
<v Speaker 3>not saying you know, my parents were perfect, but they

218
00:12:28.159 --> 00:12:33.200
<v Speaker 3>sure wanted me to do what I wanted to do.

219
00:12:33.399 --> 00:12:35.840
<v Speaker 3>Didn't talk to me about Okay, well, this career is

220
00:12:35.879 --> 00:12:38.039
<v Speaker 3>got you know, you're gonna make this much, this much

221
00:12:38.039 --> 00:12:41.279
<v Speaker 3>and this mchards. What are you interested in? And it's

222
00:12:41.320 --> 00:12:45.799
<v Speaker 3>okay if it's not being a doctor. My dad comes

223
00:12:45.799 --> 00:12:51.799
<v Speaker 3>from a uh the five siblings all doctors. It's a philosophy.

224
00:12:51.840 --> 00:12:55.039
<v Speaker 3>The lawyer, and he his advice would have been to me,

225
00:12:56.919 --> 00:13:03.440
<v Speaker 3>don't go to med school. But I think really honing

226
00:13:03.440 --> 00:13:07.080
<v Speaker 3>in on well, what you want them to be able

227
00:13:07.080 --> 00:13:11.320
<v Speaker 3>to make the mistakes while they're at home, but when

228
00:13:11.360 --> 00:13:14.679
<v Speaker 3>they're off from college or where there's a lot harder

229
00:13:14.720 --> 00:13:16.679
<v Speaker 3>place to fall, not home.

230
00:13:17.960 --> 00:13:19.679
<v Speaker 2>I think people are so hung up on image in

231
00:13:19.720 --> 00:13:24.120
<v Speaker 2>their own reputation amongst their friends or in their community,

232
00:13:24.200 --> 00:13:27.200
<v Speaker 2>that what their child does, they feel reflects on them.

233
00:13:27.320 --> 00:13:28.120
<v Speaker 2>That's what I think.

234
00:13:28.879 --> 00:13:31.679
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think that's another really good point. There's so

235
00:13:31.759 --> 00:13:36.799
<v Speaker 3>many different ways that this could start happening within a family.

236
00:13:39.279 --> 00:13:45.480
<v Speaker 2>So what is the what is the best way to

237
00:13:45.559 --> 00:13:47.960
<v Speaker 2>handle supporting a kid? Because I know this is a

238
00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:51.399
<v Speaker 2>big discussion, you know in our house. Now kids get

239
00:13:51.399 --> 00:13:55.679
<v Speaker 2>out of college, they may have huge debt the parents

240
00:13:55.720 --> 00:13:59.320
<v Speaker 2>have paid, so forth and so on. A lot of

241
00:13:59.320 --> 00:14:02.039
<v Speaker 2>the tree level jobs when you get out of school

242
00:14:02.120 --> 00:14:05.399
<v Speaker 2>do not pay great rents a high especially if you

243
00:14:05.480 --> 00:14:07.440
<v Speaker 2>live in a place like Boston or if you live

244
00:14:07.480 --> 00:14:10.320
<v Speaker 2>in New York. I don't know how they are down

245
00:14:10.399 --> 00:14:12.600
<v Speaker 2>in your area. I believe I think you're in Texas, correct,

246
00:14:13.320 --> 00:14:16.799
<v Speaker 2>that's correct? Yeah, you know, maybe Dallas and Houston probably

247
00:14:17.120 --> 00:14:22.080
<v Speaker 2>expensive expensive, Yeah, yeah, So I was reading that the

248
00:14:22.159 --> 00:14:24.919
<v Speaker 2>average parents spends fourteen hundred dollars a month supporting a

249
00:14:25.000 --> 00:14:28.759
<v Speaker 2>kid that's over eighteen. When do you when do you

250
00:14:28.840 --> 00:14:30.679
<v Speaker 2>cut off? When do you cut off the supply?

251
00:14:31.799 --> 00:14:34.519
<v Speaker 3>I know I read the same thing so and I

252
00:14:34.600 --> 00:14:38.440
<v Speaker 3>related a lot to this too, because I didn't know

253
00:14:38.480 --> 00:14:41.480
<v Speaker 3>this going into graduate school, but become a counselor. Even

254
00:14:43.679 --> 00:14:48.440
<v Speaker 3>after I was I had graduated from graduate school, I

255
00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:53.879
<v Speaker 3>had to do three thousand hours worth of work in

256
00:14:54.039 --> 00:14:58.399
<v Speaker 3>no less than eighteen months. So being paid the lowest

257
00:14:58.559 --> 00:15:03.200
<v Speaker 3>as a they called a lot. Since professional counselor, it's

258
00:15:03.200 --> 00:15:07.240
<v Speaker 3>an associate now, but you're not fully licensed, so you

259
00:15:07.279 --> 00:15:10.879
<v Speaker 3>actually have to have a supervisor. That then mine was

260
00:15:11.799 --> 00:15:13.720
<v Speaker 3>during this whole time, and you have to meet one

261
00:15:13.759 --> 00:15:18.720
<v Speaker 3>hour per week and mine was one hundred dollars a week,

262
00:15:18.840 --> 00:15:21.960
<v Speaker 3>so four hundred dollars a month. I mean, that's a

263
00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:25.080
<v Speaker 3>lot of money. If my parents hadn't been able to

264
00:15:25.080 --> 00:15:26.879
<v Speaker 3>help me out with that, Like I'm getting paid the

265
00:15:26.919 --> 00:15:30.720
<v Speaker 3>lowest amount that I'm going to be paid, I had

266
00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:35.080
<v Speaker 3>to pay for that plus living expenses. I really don't

267
00:15:35.080 --> 00:15:37.200
<v Speaker 3>know how I would have done it. And I don't

268
00:15:37.240 --> 00:15:40.120
<v Speaker 3>know a lot of people that have been even in

269
00:15:40.120 --> 00:15:44.279
<v Speaker 3>my field, that didn't have somebody else that was supporting them,

270
00:15:44.320 --> 00:15:47.919
<v Speaker 3>whether it was a spouse or that they took out

271
00:15:47.919 --> 00:15:50.480
<v Speaker 3>more loans or that their parents helped them out. I

272
00:15:50.559 --> 00:15:52.759
<v Speaker 3>really think it depends on the kid, because for me,

273
00:15:55.000 --> 00:15:58.360
<v Speaker 3>I mean I went to my parents and said, this

274
00:15:58.519 --> 00:16:03.039
<v Speaker 3>is kind of the situation. Are my options? And my

275
00:16:03.159 --> 00:16:05.399
<v Speaker 3>parents said, okay, well we can help you out with

276
00:16:05.759 --> 00:16:13.519
<v Speaker 3>X amounts per month, which was my fees for my supervisor.

277
00:16:13.799 --> 00:16:19.320
<v Speaker 3>So I don't know how it is in every degree

278
00:16:19.519 --> 00:16:21.559
<v Speaker 3>path that you choose, but I know that there's a

279
00:16:21.639 --> 00:16:23.879
<v Speaker 3>lot of things that you're getting out. You're getting paid

280
00:16:23.919 --> 00:16:26.759
<v Speaker 3>the lowest amount you're going to be paid, and the

281
00:16:26.879 --> 00:16:32.360
<v Speaker 3>economy is not in a great position, So what does

282
00:16:32.399 --> 00:16:38.399
<v Speaker 3>your kid need? I think that it really depends on

283
00:16:38.440 --> 00:16:39.919
<v Speaker 3>the kid. It's a really fine line.

284
00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:43.240
<v Speaker 2>Sy Yeah, and every every case is going to be different.

285
00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:49.080
<v Speaker 2>But but I do think that for a kid to say,

286
00:16:51.519 --> 00:16:54.480
<v Speaker 2>because let's face it, it's in some areas and maybe it's

287
00:16:54.519 --> 00:16:57.279
<v Speaker 2>just of course my world. But my parents did not

288
00:16:57.360 --> 00:16:59.759
<v Speaker 2>go to college, right, My parents did not. My mom

289
00:16:59.799 --> 00:17:02.200
<v Speaker 2>was nurse, my dad worked in the mill. I went

290
00:17:02.200 --> 00:17:04.079
<v Speaker 2>to college, My sister went to college. So we were

291
00:17:04.119 --> 00:17:05.880
<v Speaker 2>the first ones to go to school. But in a

292
00:17:05.880 --> 00:17:08.480
<v Speaker 2>lot of situations now it's just expected that you're going

293
00:17:08.559 --> 00:17:11.039
<v Speaker 2>to go to college, where I go, Wait a minute,

294
00:17:11.119 --> 00:17:14.759
<v Speaker 2>why Why If you take a look at the trade schools,

295
00:17:14.799 --> 00:17:17.839
<v Speaker 2>if you take a look at various occupations, whether it

296
00:17:17.880 --> 00:17:20.079
<v Speaker 2>be a one year program or a two year program,

297
00:17:20.240 --> 00:17:23.400
<v Speaker 2>you don't have the educational cost, you don't have the debt.

298
00:17:23.799 --> 00:17:26.119
<v Speaker 2>And I know that I can't screw in a light bulb,

299
00:17:26.839 --> 00:17:28.599
<v Speaker 2>but I do know that I pay a lot of

300
00:17:28.599 --> 00:17:33.240
<v Speaker 2>money to people that do. So what about this pressure

301
00:17:33.799 --> 00:17:37.359
<v Speaker 2>that parenting that you have to go to college. Now,

302
00:17:37.400 --> 00:17:40.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm not saying that you don't develop a skill or

303
00:17:40.240 --> 00:17:43.279
<v Speaker 2>a trade, because I do think it's very difficult to

304
00:17:43.319 --> 00:17:45.720
<v Speaker 2>make your way without some sort of skill or trade

305
00:17:46.119 --> 00:17:53.720
<v Speaker 2>or degree. For advancement. But why when did that happen?

306
00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:56.480
<v Speaker 2>You know when when it was? When was it a

307
00:17:56.559 --> 00:17:59.319
<v Speaker 2>sin not to go to a four year program as

308
00:17:59.319 --> 00:18:02.160
<v Speaker 2>opposed to taking a one year program in refrigeration?

309
00:18:03.519 --> 00:18:06.920
<v Speaker 3>Right? I really don't know where when that started. I

310
00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:11.400
<v Speaker 3>do know that even for me there was there wasn't

311
00:18:11.440 --> 00:18:14.319
<v Speaker 3>a pressure like you had to go to school right then.

312
00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:16.359
<v Speaker 3>I think to have a plan is a good idea

313
00:18:16.400 --> 00:18:18.759
<v Speaker 3>to have. You know what you're going to look at,

314
00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:22.400
<v Speaker 3>whether that's a trade school, whether that's working, whether that's

315
00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:26.480
<v Speaker 3>going to college, whether that's going to a junior college.

316
00:18:26.680 --> 00:18:28.400
<v Speaker 3>I really don't know why some of those things are

317
00:18:28.480 --> 00:18:31.920
<v Speaker 3>ruled out because junior colleges are much less expensive too,

318
00:18:33.200 --> 00:18:35.839
<v Speaker 3>or going to a trade school much less expensive to

319
00:18:35.880 --> 00:18:39.599
<v Speaker 3>where you would be able to earn quite a good

320
00:18:39.640 --> 00:18:42.720
<v Speaker 3>living and then be able to take on more of

321
00:18:42.720 --> 00:18:43.480
<v Speaker 3>those extensives.

322
00:18:44.839 --> 00:18:49.160
<v Speaker 2>Electricians and plumbers in my town are loaded. They're loaded,

323
00:18:50.880 --> 00:18:55.799
<v Speaker 2>they're loaded. What about after college? Now, and this part,

324
00:18:55.839 --> 00:18:58.480
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't believe you and I we were going over

325
00:18:58.559 --> 00:19:04.200
<v Speaker 2>some of the same material, right, A parent joining a

326
00:19:04.359 --> 00:19:08.160
<v Speaker 2>kid on a job interview? If first of all, first

327
00:19:08.200 --> 00:19:10.039
<v Speaker 2>of all, it would never happen to me. I mean

328
00:19:10.039 --> 00:19:12.759
<v Speaker 2>my parents wouldn't. I mean that wasn't My parents paid

329
00:19:12.759 --> 00:19:15.119
<v Speaker 2>for half of my college and then you know, helped

330
00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:16.799
<v Speaker 2>me with a car that cost six hundred bucks. It

331
00:19:16.839 --> 00:19:18.400
<v Speaker 2>was a Chauvette, and then you know we were off

332
00:19:18.400 --> 00:19:20.839
<v Speaker 2>and running. They did what they could. But I mean

333
00:19:21.000 --> 00:19:23.119
<v Speaker 2>my dad like showing up at a job interview or

334
00:19:23.119 --> 00:19:25.119
<v Speaker 2>my mom, you kid, if I showed up with my

335
00:19:25.240 --> 00:19:26.920
<v Speaker 2>kid at a job interview, they would never speak to

336
00:19:27.000 --> 00:19:30.160
<v Speaker 2>me again. What is it? People are crazy? Parents are

337
00:19:30.160 --> 00:19:31.599
<v Speaker 2>out of their minds.

338
00:19:32.079 --> 00:19:35.599
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean that one is definitely acrossing the line.

339
00:19:35.720 --> 00:19:38.759
<v Speaker 3>There's one thing, you know, a difference between looking over

340
00:19:38.839 --> 00:19:43.000
<v Speaker 3>your kid's resume versus showing up to a job interview.

341
00:19:43.359 --> 00:19:45.319
<v Speaker 3>Even when I was in high school, my parents would

342
00:19:45.319 --> 00:19:47.680
<v Speaker 3>have never shown up to a job interview, nor when

343
00:19:47.720 --> 00:19:49.039
<v Speaker 3>I have asked them to.

344
00:19:50.359 --> 00:19:52.880
<v Speaker 2>It's crazy. I mean, I gave my this is my

345
00:19:52.920 --> 00:19:54.640
<v Speaker 2>wife will kill me, but she doesn't listen to me

346
00:19:54.680 --> 00:19:56.680
<v Speaker 2>so on the radio or at home. So it doesn't

347
00:19:56.680 --> 00:20:01.319
<v Speaker 2>matter with my daughter. She she's my wife is an

348
00:20:01.319 --> 00:20:06.920
<v Speaker 2>excellent writer. Excellent writer. And when my oldest was applying

349
00:20:06.920 --> 00:20:09.000
<v Speaker 2>for colleges or she'd have to write something, my wife

350
00:20:09.000 --> 00:20:12.440
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't help herself she would just jump in and fix

351
00:20:12.519 --> 00:20:15.599
<v Speaker 2>it and correct it, and I'd be like, Okay, but

352
00:20:16.200 --> 00:20:18.359
<v Speaker 2>I don't even know how important writing is anymore, which

353
00:20:18.400 --> 00:20:20.359
<v Speaker 2>that in itself is a crime, but that might be

354
00:20:20.400 --> 00:20:23.559
<v Speaker 2>a reality just the way technology is going, you know,

355
00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:25.279
<v Speaker 2>That's just the way it is. Michelle. I want to

356
00:20:25.319 --> 00:20:26.640
<v Speaker 2>keep you on if I could, If you could stand

357
00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:29.279
<v Speaker 2>by from one more break, because we've we've focused on

358
00:20:29.480 --> 00:20:33.880
<v Speaker 2>my life in the generation of my kids. I want

359
00:20:33.920 --> 00:20:36.039
<v Speaker 2>to get to the younger kids, and I'd like to

360
00:20:36.039 --> 00:20:38.880
<v Speaker 2>talk about that with you. Next right here on WBZ,

361
00:20:39.720 --> 00:20:42.319
<v Speaker 2>Gary Tangling for Dan Ray. This is night Side over.

362
00:20:42.519 --> 00:20:45.400
<v Speaker 2>Parenting as we go back to school is the topic.

363
00:20:45.440 --> 00:20:46.440
<v Speaker 2>We'll be right back.

364
00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:53.200
<v Speaker 1>Night Side, was Dan Ray on WBZ Boston's news Radio.

365
00:20:53.279 --> 00:20:56.880
<v Speaker 2>Okay, solving all the parenthal problems out there. Gary Tangler

366
00:20:56.920 --> 00:20:59.559
<v Speaker 2>hearing for Dan Ray on Nightside on WBZ News Radio.

367
00:20:59.599 --> 00:21:03.519
<v Speaker 2>Coming up at nine o'clock, we'll be talking about presidential history.

368
00:21:04.200 --> 00:21:07.160
<v Speaker 2>Of course, get into some Kamala Harris stuff with professor

369
00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:11.480
<v Speaker 2>of history at American University Alan Lickman. Presidents who had

370
00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:13.920
<v Speaker 2>thought were gonna be duds that turned out to be great.

371
00:21:15.079 --> 00:21:17.240
<v Speaker 2>That will be the topic of our conversation right here

372
00:21:17.240 --> 00:21:20.839
<v Speaker 2>on WBC. Now we're talking with Michelle Dean professional counselor,

373
00:21:20.839 --> 00:21:23.839
<v Speaker 2>and overparenting and the kids are back in school. Man,

374
00:21:24.640 --> 00:21:27.519
<v Speaker 2>we saw it. Everybody's back at BU and UMAs. And

375
00:21:29.039 --> 00:21:32.359
<v Speaker 2>also finally, I know, as parents that have kids at

376
00:21:32.359 --> 00:21:34.519
<v Speaker 2>home during the summer, the first day of school is

377
00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:37.799
<v Speaker 2>like a holiday. So we talked about the college and

378
00:21:37.839 --> 00:21:40.720
<v Speaker 2>the high school type of age. Michelle, Now let's get

379
00:21:40.720 --> 00:21:44.599
<v Speaker 2>to the younger stage. First of all, I had a

380
00:21:44.640 --> 00:21:47.759
<v Speaker 2>younger child that stayed home and was on Zoom during

381
00:21:47.759 --> 00:21:53.079
<v Speaker 2>the pandemic. I mean, it's going to take twenty years, right,

382
00:21:53.160 --> 00:21:56.079
<v Speaker 2>I mean for a generation not to be impacted by that,

383
00:21:56.279 --> 00:21:58.799
<v Speaker 2>because there's no doubt they were. There's no way they

384
00:21:58.799 --> 00:21:59.319
<v Speaker 2>couldn't have.

385
00:21:59.240 --> 00:22:00.720
<v Speaker 1>Been, right.

386
00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:07.319
<v Speaker 3>I think some of the scariest things I've seen is

387
00:22:07.480 --> 00:22:12.440
<v Speaker 3>how much anxiety these kids have, whether it's over help,

388
00:22:12.599 --> 00:22:17.640
<v Speaker 3>whether it's social, whether it's going back to school, or

389
00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:22.640
<v Speaker 3>even some of it's manifested into like specific phobias. There's

390
00:22:22.680 --> 00:22:27.759
<v Speaker 3>been a very big impact from even if they attended

391
00:22:27.799 --> 00:22:34.519
<v Speaker 3>school online, if they were doing a hybrid course, whether

392
00:22:34.599 --> 00:22:39.119
<v Speaker 3>they were just were in school yet. And we're younger

393
00:22:40.200 --> 00:22:43.319
<v Speaker 3>seeing it all over the place and.

394
00:22:43.240 --> 00:22:46.240
<v Speaker 2>That's simply a result that there was a virus that

395
00:22:46.279 --> 00:22:48.000
<v Speaker 2>we thought was going to kill us all at the time.

396
00:22:48.200 --> 00:22:49.759
<v Speaker 2>I mean, at the time, we didn't know what we're

397
00:22:49.799 --> 00:22:54.319
<v Speaker 2>dealing with. Did I laugh at people who criticize how

398
00:22:54.440 --> 00:22:57.400
<v Speaker 2>Fauci and everyone handled it. Nobody knew what they were doing.

399
00:22:57.920 --> 00:22:59.920
<v Speaker 2>Nobody knew what was going on. I mean, come on,

400
00:23:00.119 --> 00:23:02.880
<v Speaker 2>and I mean a hindesdby in twenty twenty. You know,

401
00:23:02.880 --> 00:23:04.519
<v Speaker 2>I had friends of mine who their kids went to

402
00:23:04.559 --> 00:23:07.279
<v Speaker 2>private school. They went back earlier, and they did better.

403
00:23:07.400 --> 00:23:09.519
<v Speaker 2>I mean, they just did better because of the socialization.

404
00:23:09.839 --> 00:23:12.519
<v Speaker 2>I mean, what we learned from that was how vital

405
00:23:12.880 --> 00:23:15.640
<v Speaker 2>socialization is. So, if I'm hearing you right, because of

406
00:23:15.640 --> 00:23:18.880
<v Speaker 2>the lack of socialization, these kids have a lot of

407
00:23:18.920 --> 00:23:22.000
<v Speaker 2>problems with the anxiety because they don't go out, and

408
00:23:22.039 --> 00:23:25.640
<v Speaker 2>they don't they haven't had a chance to experience fear

409
00:23:25.759 --> 00:23:28.400
<v Speaker 2>and deal with fear or the unknown or making a

410
00:23:28.400 --> 00:23:31.039
<v Speaker 2>friend and so forth, and that continues to impact them.

411
00:23:31.079 --> 00:23:32.759
<v Speaker 2>That's what's causing the anxiety.

412
00:23:32.799 --> 00:23:36.119
<v Speaker 3>Correct, That's correct. I mean a lot of it. Even

413
00:23:36.160 --> 00:23:39.720
<v Speaker 3>it kind of manifested from what they heard from others,

414
00:23:40.119 --> 00:23:43.359
<v Speaker 3>what they heard on the news. If they had somebody

415
00:23:43.400 --> 00:23:46.640
<v Speaker 3>that was close to them, like a grandparent or even

416
00:23:47.599 --> 00:23:50.559
<v Speaker 3>and uncle that died from it. Then there is this

417
00:23:50.759 --> 00:23:55.799
<v Speaker 3>fear from their life. Somebody sneezes and they sneed or costs.

418
00:23:56.200 --> 00:23:58.039
<v Speaker 3>They are going to worst case scenario.

419
00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:02.359
<v Speaker 2>What is your advice? I should have even asked you.

420
00:24:02.799 --> 00:24:04.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't even know. Are you a parent?

421
00:24:05.599 --> 00:24:06.039
<v Speaker 3>No, I'm not.

422
00:24:06.400 --> 00:24:09.400
<v Speaker 2>Okay, that's fine, No, whatever, it doesn't matter. I'm not

423
00:24:09.440 --> 00:24:12.519
<v Speaker 2>one of those. I'm not one of those. Just you know,

424
00:24:12.720 --> 00:24:15.599
<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to get into the politics of this.

425
00:24:17.279 --> 00:24:20.039
<v Speaker 2>That was an attempted humor. But what do you think

426
00:24:21.920 --> 00:24:25.519
<v Speaker 2>at what point for young people like I always look

427
00:24:25.599 --> 00:24:27.839
<v Speaker 2>at you know, when you're five, six, seven years old,

428
00:24:27.839 --> 00:24:32.559
<v Speaker 2>in those younger stages, what mistakes? And when I say mistakes,

429
00:24:32.640 --> 00:24:36.759
<v Speaker 2>that's a little harsh. But what have we learned that

430
00:24:36.880 --> 00:24:40.039
<v Speaker 2>parents can do better with kids at that age or

431
00:24:40.079 --> 00:24:43.400
<v Speaker 2>maybe pre K years.

432
00:24:44.799 --> 00:24:50.000
<v Speaker 3>It's I'm the kid. I think treating every kid as

433
00:24:50.079 --> 00:24:53.960
<v Speaker 3>an individual and attending to those individual needs and doing

434
00:24:53.960 --> 00:24:58.000
<v Speaker 3>the best you can. I think that they're with social media,

435
00:24:58.680 --> 00:25:03.759
<v Speaker 3>with the Internet, it has created this you have to

436
00:25:03.759 --> 00:25:06.279
<v Speaker 3>be this perfect parent and it looks like X y Z,

437
00:25:06.799 --> 00:25:08.640
<v Speaker 3>but that's not true. They don't give you a handbook

438
00:25:08.680 --> 00:25:10.519
<v Speaker 3>when you have a kid at the hospital and say

439
00:25:10.559 --> 00:25:16.000
<v Speaker 3>this is exactly how your parent, this kid, and even

440
00:25:16.279 --> 00:25:17.960
<v Speaker 3>two kids in a household were brought up in the

441
00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:22.960
<v Speaker 3>same way, only you're apart. Both have different needs and

442
00:25:23.039 --> 00:25:29.480
<v Speaker 3>being able to see that and recognize that you might

443
00:25:29.480 --> 00:25:31.319
<v Speaker 3>have to parent one kid a little bit different than

444
00:25:31.359 --> 00:25:32.319
<v Speaker 3>the other and that's okay.

445
00:25:33.759 --> 00:25:35.920
<v Speaker 2>You know, I've had this discussion with friends of mine,

446
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:37.920
<v Speaker 2>nature versus nurture. I don't know if you have an

447
00:25:37.960 --> 00:25:40.640
<v Speaker 2>opinion on this, but after having three kids, it's nature.

448
00:25:41.440 --> 00:25:44.000
<v Speaker 2>And in my house growing up, we would always say,

449
00:25:44.359 --> 00:25:46.759
<v Speaker 2>as I come from a small town in Maine, very provincial,

450
00:25:47.759 --> 00:25:51.720
<v Speaker 2>would say, oh, and you know, she's just like Uncle Jack,

451
00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:54.960
<v Speaker 2>or she's just like you know, Grandma or you know

452
00:25:55.119 --> 00:25:59.880
<v Speaker 2>Aunt Kim. They're not like my three kids are all different.

453
00:26:00.519 --> 00:26:05.119
<v Speaker 2>Just they're just all different. And I guess you could

454
00:26:05.160 --> 00:26:07.279
<v Speaker 2>say each one has traits of my wife or me,

455
00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:13.680
<v Speaker 2>but they're you know, they look like us kind of,

456
00:26:13.759 --> 00:26:17.559
<v Speaker 2>you know, they are, we look like a family, but

457
00:26:17.599 --> 00:26:20.519
<v Speaker 2>they're all different, you know, they just they just are

458
00:26:20.960 --> 00:26:23.799
<v Speaker 2>And you're right, they're just they're just all different in

459
00:26:23.880 --> 00:26:27.279
<v Speaker 2>that way. But you know, I I just remember as

460
00:26:27.279 --> 00:26:29.200
<v Speaker 2>a kid where it was okay to get dirty and

461
00:26:29.279 --> 00:26:31.039
<v Speaker 2>you know, you fell off your bike and you got

462
00:26:31.079 --> 00:26:34.400
<v Speaker 2>back up, and you know if you got hurt. I mean,

463
00:26:34.440 --> 00:26:36.039
<v Speaker 2>I'm not saying if you broke a limb, you don't

464
00:26:36.039 --> 00:26:38.359
<v Speaker 2>go to the hospital, but you know, grub some dirt

465
00:26:38.400 --> 00:26:41.119
<v Speaker 2>on it. As they say, that's another thing with parents now,

466
00:26:41.359 --> 00:26:44.640
<v Speaker 2>parents aren't is and I get this honor relaxed when

467
00:26:44.640 --> 00:26:46.759
<v Speaker 2>it comes to letting their kids play on supervise because

468
00:26:46.799 --> 00:26:49.440
<v Speaker 2>of various threats.

469
00:26:48.720 --> 00:26:52.720
<v Speaker 3>Were I think there's a very fine line between what

470
00:26:52.720 --> 00:26:58.559
<v Speaker 3>we're calling right now over parenting versus active parenting, where

471
00:26:58.599 --> 00:27:02.200
<v Speaker 3>there's we're not saying don't don't be there for your kids, right,

472
00:27:02.559 --> 00:27:06.920
<v Speaker 3>just realize there's boundaries that your kid needs to learn,

473
00:27:07.039 --> 00:27:09.799
<v Speaker 3>and that, especially when they're younger, if you don't set

474
00:27:09.799 --> 00:27:12.440
<v Speaker 3>those boundaries for them, they don't learn how to set

475
00:27:12.480 --> 00:27:15.839
<v Speaker 3>them for themselves. And so asking you to even come

476
00:27:15.880 --> 00:27:21.359
<v Speaker 3>to an interview, uh or being okay with that is

477
00:27:21.559 --> 00:27:25.200
<v Speaker 3>a reflection on maybe the boundaries lot set early on.

478
00:27:26.079 --> 00:27:29.480
<v Speaker 2>Oh, there's no question, there's no there's no doubt about it.

479
00:27:30.200 --> 00:27:33.319
<v Speaker 2>How do you feel because I've seen this a lot

480
00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:38.880
<v Speaker 2>about parents blaming the school system as opposed to blames

481
00:27:38.880 --> 00:27:41.119
<v Speaker 2>it tough for blaming the kid or have you know,

482
00:27:41.440 --> 00:27:42.920
<v Speaker 2>holding the kid responsible.

483
00:27:44.559 --> 00:27:47.440
<v Speaker 3>Oh, I could get our whole other subjects about this one,

484
00:27:47.519 --> 00:27:48.839
<v Speaker 3>but I.

485
00:27:48.799 --> 00:27:51.480
<v Speaker 2>Wish I had lead with that.

486
00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:56.000
<v Speaker 3>Well, you know, schools also, there's been a lot of

487
00:27:56.599 --> 00:28:05.279
<v Speaker 3>rules taken our schools, and then kids also taught that

488
00:28:05.279 --> 00:28:11.440
<v Speaker 3>that they don't have to respect rules and that no

489
00:28:11.440 --> 00:28:13.319
<v Speaker 3>matter what they do, there's going to be the same

490
00:28:13.400 --> 00:28:19.920
<v Speaker 3>in results. Everyone wants boundaries and structure. You want them

491
00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:24.000
<v Speaker 3>to at some point fight against some of that structure,

492
00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:25.799
<v Speaker 3>but you want that to be in a healthy way.

493
00:28:26.799 --> 00:28:32.720
<v Speaker 3>You want them, you know, to question things and understand

494
00:28:33.480 --> 00:28:38.799
<v Speaker 3>how to deal with the consequences that their actions might have.

495
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:43.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I just think that parents, at times, myself included,

496
00:28:43.160 --> 00:28:45.799
<v Speaker 2>are too concerned with being liked by their kid, so

497
00:28:45.799 --> 00:28:47.599
<v Speaker 2>they said, with their kid instead of the teacher.

498
00:28:49.039 --> 00:28:52.519
<v Speaker 3>Right, It's very hard to walk the line of being

499
00:28:52.559 --> 00:28:55.599
<v Speaker 3>a costoup versus a friend, versus a parent versus a

500
00:28:55.640 --> 00:28:59.000
<v Speaker 3>teacher and really staying in that specific role that you're

501
00:29:00.279 --> 00:29:02.680
<v Speaker 3>kids need because.

502
00:29:03.000 --> 00:29:05.119
<v Speaker 2>And again I'll go, oh, bastard. When I grew up,

503
00:29:06.119 --> 00:29:08.200
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it was the teacher's rule. There was no

504
00:29:08.319 --> 00:29:11.160
<v Speaker 2>I had. I did not have a case to make

505
00:29:12.279 --> 00:29:14.519
<v Speaker 2>you know, but it was her fault. It was missus

506
00:29:14.559 --> 00:29:18.519
<v Speaker 2>Canower's fault. My dad, No, it wasn't. I don't care.

507
00:29:18.799 --> 00:29:22.960
<v Speaker 2>It was not bottom line, you know. Now it's like

508
00:29:23.279 --> 00:29:25.839
<v Speaker 2>I'll go talk to the teacher and my kids misunderstood

509
00:29:25.839 --> 00:29:27.720
<v Speaker 2>and blah blah blah blah blah. I mean it's very

510
00:29:27.720 --> 00:29:32.680
<v Speaker 2>hard on teachers today. I think it's extremely difficult on

511
00:29:32.799 --> 00:29:35.359
<v Speaker 2>teachers because I think they get it from both sides.

512
00:29:35.480 --> 00:29:39.880
<v Speaker 2>And I think administrators are concerned too, because there's legal situations,

513
00:29:40.960 --> 00:29:42.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, be people are worried about getting sued or

514
00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:46.359
<v Speaker 2>getting in trouble with the school board or it's definitely

515
00:29:46.359 --> 00:29:49.960
<v Speaker 2>the teachers and the staffs. I don't think it enough support.

516
00:29:51.720 --> 00:29:53.759
<v Speaker 2>Everybody's trying to be pro kid too much. I don't

517
00:29:53.759 --> 00:29:56.640
<v Speaker 2>know if you've run into that at all. So when

518
00:29:56.799 --> 00:29:59.440
<v Speaker 2>in dealing with your situation, what would you say, is

519
00:29:59.440 --> 00:30:02.400
<v Speaker 2>the number one and cause for depression? I'll start that

520
00:30:02.519 --> 00:30:04.519
<v Speaker 2>first in our young people. Then the one cause for

521
00:30:04.559 --> 00:30:07.039
<v Speaker 2>anxiety or is the cause one and the same?

522
00:30:09.480 --> 00:30:11.039
<v Speaker 3>I think they can be one and the same, they

523
00:30:11.039 --> 00:30:16.799
<v Speaker 3>can be different for different kids. Some of the depression

524
00:30:16.880 --> 00:30:20.880
<v Speaker 3>I see is it really is just genetic? And then

525
00:30:21.039 --> 00:30:24.119
<v Speaker 3>there's a lot of other things contributing to that. I

526
00:30:24.160 --> 00:30:25.960
<v Speaker 3>would say one of the biggest things, and the things

527
00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:29.200
<v Speaker 3>I continue to continue to be shocked about, is the

528
00:30:29.240 --> 00:30:32.160
<v Speaker 3>amount of bullying that there is in school and the

529
00:30:32.680 --> 00:30:37.720
<v Speaker 3>horrific things that kids say to each other. How much depression, anxiety,

530
00:30:38.200 --> 00:30:41.680
<v Speaker 3>avoidance of wanting to go to school that that creates

531
00:30:41.720 --> 00:30:46.799
<v Speaker 3>for younger kids, and it really has a big impact

532
00:30:46.839 --> 00:30:49.319
<v Speaker 3>on their self esteem and how they view themselves.

533
00:30:50.039 --> 00:30:52.119
<v Speaker 2>That's so disappointing to hear that there's still a lot

534
00:30:52.119 --> 00:30:56.839
<v Speaker 2>of bullying. I mean, it's just it's such that's disappointing

535
00:30:58.119 --> 00:31:02.640
<v Speaker 2>with my kids. I'm worried about the online bullying I'm

536
00:31:02.799 --> 00:31:05.119
<v Speaker 2>early about. I'm worried about the Instagram where a young

537
00:31:05.160 --> 00:31:08.680
<v Speaker 2>person looks at somebody else's Instagram post and thinks, I'm

538
00:31:08.720 --> 00:31:11.359
<v Speaker 2>not as pretty as them, I'm not as athletic as them,

539
00:31:11.480 --> 00:31:14.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm not as good as them. That's the type of

540
00:31:14.440 --> 00:31:17.839
<v Speaker 2>bullying that I worry about. I thought that, and maybe

541
00:31:17.880 --> 00:31:19.799
<v Speaker 2>I'm just out of touch. I thought we were beyond

542
00:31:19.920 --> 00:31:23.599
<v Speaker 2>the actual bullying sort of thing. And sometimes I wonder

543
00:31:23.640 --> 00:31:25.799
<v Speaker 2>if you know, I would not condone fighting in school,

544
00:31:25.839 --> 00:31:27.640
<v Speaker 2>but sometimes you know, a kid needs to swing back

545
00:31:27.720 --> 00:31:28.160
<v Speaker 2>or something.

546
00:31:28.680 --> 00:31:28.839
<v Speaker 3>You know.

547
00:31:28.920 --> 00:31:30.640
<v Speaker 2>I think of like two fights when I got in

548
00:31:30.680 --> 00:31:33.799
<v Speaker 2>with guys. I know, one guy called my mom fat,

549
00:31:34.160 --> 00:31:35.759
<v Speaker 2>you know, and I got a fight with him and

550
00:31:35.799 --> 00:31:38.400
<v Speaker 2>then we got up, and you know, mister Wallace pulled

551
00:31:38.480 --> 00:31:40.319
<v Speaker 2>us apart and said, you know, go sit in the

552
00:31:40.319 --> 00:31:42.839
<v Speaker 2>corner for twenty minutes. And then it was fine. But

553
00:31:42.960 --> 00:31:44.680
<v Speaker 2>you know, you can't do that anymore.

554
00:31:45.680 --> 00:31:50.200
<v Speaker 3>Right, Yeah, as the online is a whole nother just

555
00:31:51.799 --> 00:31:55.599
<v Speaker 3>monster in itself. The in person things they say, the

556
00:31:55.680 --> 00:31:59.599
<v Speaker 3>things they say online they get nasterer and aft here.

557
00:31:59.720 --> 00:32:03.279
<v Speaker 3>But even just the viewing of others and their highlight

558
00:32:03.319 --> 00:32:06.039
<v Speaker 3>reel on social media does have a really big impact

559
00:32:06.079 --> 00:32:08.400
<v Speaker 3>on kids. He is, they're comparing themselves, even if there's

560
00:32:08.400 --> 00:32:14.119
<v Speaker 3>no bullying taking place, They're comparing themselves to someone else's highlights,

561
00:32:14.160 --> 00:32:17.039
<v Speaker 3>not what the reality of their life is.

562
00:32:17.400 --> 00:32:19.559
<v Speaker 2>So it's not so much physical bullying, it's it's the

563
00:32:19.599 --> 00:32:20.279
<v Speaker 2>online thing.

564
00:32:21.839 --> 00:32:24.279
<v Speaker 3>I think it's both. I think that it's so really

565
00:32:24.319 --> 00:32:26.920
<v Speaker 3>present that we don't really realize how much. Because a

566
00:32:26.920 --> 00:32:28.559
<v Speaker 3>lot of these kids are coming in and saying the

567
00:32:28.720 --> 00:32:31.759
<v Speaker 3>kids said this to me, I'm like, wait, they said what?

568
00:32:33.119 --> 00:32:35.240
<v Speaker 3>And I keep being more and more surprised by what's

569
00:32:35.240 --> 00:32:38.440
<v Speaker 3>coming out some of the kids now, also what it's

570
00:32:38.480 --> 00:32:45.039
<v Speaker 3>being said online. I still think that the in person

571
00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:46.559
<v Speaker 3>is a really big problem.

572
00:32:46.640 --> 00:32:49.359
<v Speaker 2>That is that. That's crushing to me. I thought I

573
00:32:49.400 --> 00:32:51.240
<v Speaker 2>was hoping when we would beyond that. I really did.

574
00:32:52.160 --> 00:32:55.759
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I I that's that's terrible. And thank you

575
00:32:55.880 --> 00:32:58.240
<v Speaker 2>very well. I appreciate you coming on and thank you

576
00:32:58.279 --> 00:33:00.599
<v Speaker 2>for addressing it. And the kids of fortunate to have

577
00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:04.440
<v Speaker 2>somebody like you to help them through that, because bullies

578
00:33:04.440 --> 00:33:07.279
<v Speaker 2>are just the worst. It's just it's just the worst.

579
00:33:07.319 --> 00:33:09.720
<v Speaker 2>And we all know a bullying you know, they have

580
00:33:09.799 --> 00:33:12.720
<v Speaker 2>anxiety too, and it's all their insecurity and so forth,

581
00:33:12.759 --> 00:33:15.200
<v Speaker 2>and they're trying to make themselves feel better. But it's

582
00:33:15.319 --> 00:33:17.640
<v Speaker 2>just it's hard when you have a kid that's on

583
00:33:17.680 --> 00:33:21.440
<v Speaker 2>the other end of it. Michelle, thank you very much

584
00:33:21.480 --> 00:33:25.079
<v Speaker 2>for joining us Likes Professional Counselor. We appreciate your time

585
00:33:25.519 --> 00:33:28.640
<v Speaker 2>in discussing overparenting and we wish you luck and down

586
00:33:28.680 --> 00:33:30.640
<v Speaker 2>the road, we'd love to have you on WBZ again.

587
00:33:31.319 --> 00:33:33.359
<v Speaker 3>All Right, thank you so much. Gary, I appreciate you

588
00:33:33.440 --> 00:33:34.519
<v Speaker 3>having me on the show tonight.

589
00:33:34.640 --> 00:33:39.359
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Michelle, good talk overparenting. We need to chill out.

590
00:33:39.440 --> 00:33:42.200
<v Speaker 2>Folks need to relax, especially when you get to the

591
00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:45.839
<v Speaker 2>college age. The bullying thing buns me out. I mean,

592
00:33:45.839 --> 00:33:48.240
<v Speaker 2>I was bullied, you know, I was. We all were.

593
00:33:48.359 --> 00:33:51.039
<v Speaker 2>But I thought that I really thought that that was

594
00:33:51.079 --> 00:33:54.319
<v Speaker 2>a thing of the past. The online stuff, I get.

595
00:33:54.680 --> 00:33:58.799
<v Speaker 2>The online stuff's brutal, it's it's brutal, But the physical

596
00:33:58.839 --> 00:34:01.200
<v Speaker 2>bullying in person, I think that was a thing anymore.

597
00:34:01.200 --> 00:34:03.759
<v Speaker 2>But what did I know? And Michelle sent me straight

598
00:34:03.880 --> 00:34:07.000
<v Speaker 2>and that's too bad. All right? Coming up at nine o'clock,

599
00:34:07.359 --> 00:34:10.840
<v Speaker 2>Alan Lickman from American University, he's going to join us.

600
00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:13.920
<v Speaker 2>And you've probably heard Alan before. He's had a lot

601
00:34:13.920 --> 00:34:17.519
<v Speaker 2>of success in predicting the presidential elections. Nine of the

602
00:34:17.639 --> 00:34:21.920
<v Speaker 2>last ten he has called. And the one that was

603
00:34:21.960 --> 00:34:25.280
<v Speaker 2>a miss was the Gore Bush one, and that's debatable.

604
00:34:26.159 --> 00:34:27.960
<v Speaker 2>We will talk to him about that, but I also

605
00:34:28.000 --> 00:34:31.320
<v Speaker 2>want to talk to him about presidents that we didn't think.

606
00:34:31.320 --> 00:34:33.960
<v Speaker 2>We're going to do a whole lot, like Kamala Harris.

607
00:34:34.000 --> 00:34:40.320
<v Speaker 2>If she wins, she may she may surprise us in

608
00:34:40.400 --> 00:34:47.239
<v Speaker 2>some ways. In some ways, Donald Trump surprised us good

609
00:34:47.239 --> 00:34:51.039
<v Speaker 2>and bad. But there are those who support Trump that

610
00:34:51.159 --> 00:34:54.800
<v Speaker 2>would say he was If you supported Donald Trump. I'm

611
00:34:54.800 --> 00:34:57.400
<v Speaker 2>not getting into I'm not doing that. I'm not doing

612
00:34:57.440 --> 00:35:01.159
<v Speaker 2>Trump bashing. I'm not doing harb doing that. I can't analize.

613
00:35:01.400 --> 00:35:03.280
<v Speaker 2>You want to vote for who you vote for. That's fine.

614
00:35:03.840 --> 00:35:07.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm not gonna swear you either way. But there was

615
00:35:07.039 --> 00:35:11.880
<v Speaker 2>someone that would say Trump surprised some people possibly. I mean,

616
00:35:11.880 --> 00:35:15.480
<v Speaker 2>the economy was good, right again, when it comes to

617
00:35:15.519 --> 00:35:18.159
<v Speaker 2>the well he now, I'm going down a rabbit hole.

618
00:35:18.199 --> 00:35:21.440
<v Speaker 2>The whole Corona thing, he said, some dumb things he did.

619
00:35:21.199 --> 00:35:26.840
<v Speaker 2>He can't argue with that. But who knows how she's

620
00:35:26.840 --> 00:35:30.199
<v Speaker 2>gonna be. She hasn't been if she wins. She doesn't

621
00:35:30.199 --> 00:35:33.760
<v Speaker 2>have a great track record, But there are successful presidents

622
00:35:33.760 --> 00:35:36.360
<v Speaker 2>who have been in the same situation. We're going to

623
00:35:36.400 --> 00:35:38.639
<v Speaker 2>talk about that coming up at nine o'clock right here

624
00:35:38.679 --> 00:35:41.880
<v Speaker 2>on WBZ. Coming up next, I went to the movies

625
00:35:42.079 --> 00:35:47.119
<v Speaker 2>and it wasn't good. I'll tell you what happened. Next

626
00:35:47.159 --> 00:35:48.239
<v Speaker 2>to wz's night.

627
00:35:48.159 --> 00:35:52.519
<v Speaker 1>Said, Now back to Dan ray Mine from the Window

628
00:35:52.519 --> 00:35:55.920
<v Speaker 1>World night Side Studios on WBZ News.

629
00:35:55.760 --> 00:35:59.079
<v Speaker 2>Radio, Gary tag Way for Dan Raates and I thank

630
00:35:59.119 --> 00:36:01.480
<v Speaker 2>you for jodingus. You're gonna do would be busies nightside

631
00:36:01.920 --> 00:36:05.039
<v Speaker 2>on Labor Day again Michelle Dideen joining us. We'd like

632
00:36:05.079 --> 00:36:07.800
<v Speaker 2>to thank her for her time talking about overparenting. And

633
00:36:09.159 --> 00:36:11.119
<v Speaker 2>I just think we need to chill out as parents.

634
00:36:11.440 --> 00:36:13.000
<v Speaker 2>You know, you need to let go a little bit.

635
00:36:13.599 --> 00:36:16.199
<v Speaker 2>I've got three. It's hard to do. I will be

636
00:36:16.239 --> 00:36:19.880
<v Speaker 2>honest with you. You know, I may you may or made.

637
00:36:19.880 --> 00:36:21.760
<v Speaker 2>I know. I did television for years. I got laid

638
00:36:21.760 --> 00:36:23.960
<v Speaker 2>off during the pandemic. I decided to become a stay

639
00:36:23.960 --> 00:36:28.599
<v Speaker 2>at home dad. I was a little overbearing. I was

640
00:36:28.639 --> 00:36:31.480
<v Speaker 2>a little neurotic, making sure the lunches were done, making

641
00:36:31.519 --> 00:36:34.320
<v Speaker 2>sure everything got handed in, the physical forms had to

642
00:36:34.360 --> 00:36:37.280
<v Speaker 2>be taken care of, the backpack had to be packed,

643
00:36:37.280 --> 00:36:41.199
<v Speaker 2>the homework had to be done. And my kids and

644
00:36:41.199 --> 00:36:43.639
<v Speaker 2>my wife said, you know, you gotta really relax. You

645
00:36:43.800 --> 00:36:46.360
<v Speaker 2>got to kind of chill out. You had. The biggest

646
00:36:46.400 --> 00:36:51.039
<v Speaker 2>problem that parents face, myself included, is allowing our kids

647
00:36:51.079 --> 00:36:54.119
<v Speaker 2>to fail because we think it's a reflection on us.

648
00:36:54.599 --> 00:36:58.239
<v Speaker 2>If my son or my daughter fails, it makes me

649
00:36:58.280 --> 00:37:00.679
<v Speaker 2>look bad that I'm a bad parent. That I didn't

650
00:37:00.719 --> 00:37:03.000
<v Speaker 2>teach him to be smart, I didn't teach him to

651
00:37:03.000 --> 00:37:06.119
<v Speaker 2>be athletic, I didn't teach him to do this, to

652
00:37:06.199 --> 00:37:10.079
<v Speaker 2>do that. It's a pout, and I have a cousin

653
00:37:10.079 --> 00:37:12.599
<v Speaker 2>of amount. I've had this debate with my kids. Aren't me?

654
00:37:12.719 --> 00:37:18.719
<v Speaker 2>Your kids aren't you? They're them, They're not they are

655
00:37:18.760 --> 00:37:26.960
<v Speaker 2>not Your kids are not you. Your child is their own

656
00:37:27.199 --> 00:37:32.960
<v Speaker 2>person period in the story. For some reason, when my

657
00:37:33.039 --> 00:37:36.199
<v Speaker 2>kids turned eighteen they went to college. I was able

658
00:37:36.199 --> 00:37:40.760
<v Speaker 2>to let go a little bit when my son. When

659
00:37:40.800 --> 00:37:45.599
<v Speaker 2>my son went off after eighteen, I was kind of like, dude,

660
00:37:45.639 --> 00:37:47.519
<v Speaker 2>there's nothing else I can do. I mean, you're on

661
00:37:47.559 --> 00:37:49.519
<v Speaker 2>your own. If you screw up, you screw up. And

662
00:37:49.559 --> 00:37:51.400
<v Speaker 2>he had his moments in high school believed me like

663
00:37:51.440 --> 00:37:54.599
<v Speaker 2>we all did you know. Same thing with my daughter,

664
00:37:54.679 --> 00:37:56.639
<v Speaker 2>I was like, it's kind of up to you, and

665
00:37:56.719 --> 00:37:59.320
<v Speaker 2>I do believe you have to follow your passion. Now

666
00:37:59.400 --> 00:38:01.920
<v Speaker 2>that made me. You're eating Ramen noodles for a while.

667
00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:10.119
<v Speaker 2>But money doesn't make you happy. It just doesn't. It doesn't.

668
00:38:10.440 --> 00:38:12.760
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't.

669
00:38:14.039 --> 00:38:15.320
<v Speaker 2>You know then, I guess if you want to live

670
00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:18.360
<v Speaker 2>a certain lifestyle, you have to live a certain lifestyle,

671
00:38:18.400 --> 00:38:20.440
<v Speaker 2>and therefore you have to do something for a living

672
00:38:20.559 --> 00:38:22.440
<v Speaker 2>that you don't really enjoy, but it ables you to

673
00:38:22.519 --> 00:38:26.280
<v Speaker 2>enjoy your lifestyle. Then that's up to you. But I've

674
00:38:26.280 --> 00:38:29.360
<v Speaker 2>told my kids there are no more thirty five year

675
00:38:29.400 --> 00:38:33.239
<v Speaker 2>gold Watches, there are no more forty year four oh

676
00:38:33.280 --> 00:38:35.639
<v Speaker 2>one k's that are going to get you a condo

677
00:38:35.760 --> 00:38:40.880
<v Speaker 2>in Boca. So do it up, do what you want

678
00:38:40.880 --> 00:38:45.719
<v Speaker 2>to do. Carpe DM I my poor wife. I love

679
00:38:45.800 --> 00:38:47.920
<v Speaker 2>to go to the movies. I love movies, as you know.

680
00:38:49.639 --> 00:38:53.599
<v Speaker 2>And we went and saw a Deadpool and Wolverine on Sunday.

681
00:38:55.519 --> 00:38:58.320
<v Speaker 2>I love those actors. I love the franchise. I love

682
00:38:58.360 --> 00:39:01.360
<v Speaker 2>the first Deadpool. I love it. It's so funny, it's

683
00:39:01.360 --> 00:39:03.760
<v Speaker 2>so good. I think Ryan Reynolds is so talented. I

684
00:39:03.800 --> 00:39:05.840
<v Speaker 2>got to see his wife's and movie Blake Lively. That's

685
00:39:06.079 --> 00:39:09.079
<v Speaker 2>that's very controversial too, which I don't really want to

686
00:39:09.079 --> 00:39:12.559
<v Speaker 2>get into because I'm not I'm not really an expert

687
00:39:12.639 --> 00:39:15.840
<v Speaker 2>in that area, but it's it's it's that's controversial. But

688
00:39:15.880 --> 00:39:18.519
<v Speaker 2>I love her as an actor, so i'd like I'd

689
00:39:18.519 --> 00:39:20.079
<v Speaker 2>like to see that as well. But she says, all right,

690
00:39:20.159 --> 00:39:24.039
<v Speaker 2>we'll go see you know, Wolverine and Deadpool. It was terrible.

691
00:39:24.280 --> 00:39:29.239
<v Speaker 2>It was terrible. It was terrible. Love you Jackman, love them,

692
00:39:29.760 --> 00:39:32.519
<v Speaker 2>love everybody in it, everybody in it was great love

693
00:39:32.559 --> 00:39:37.000
<v Speaker 2>the actors, terrible story. Too much inside baseball, too many

694
00:39:37.039 --> 00:39:41.159
<v Speaker 2>inside jokes, too many inside jokes, took you away from

695
00:39:41.199 --> 00:39:44.599
<v Speaker 2>the script, took you out of the moment. It took

696
00:39:44.679 --> 00:39:51.320
<v Speaker 2>you out of the moment when I'll never forget this.

697
00:39:51.480 --> 00:39:57.400
<v Speaker 2>Robert de Niro, al Pacino, all those guys, they didn't

698
00:39:57.400 --> 00:39:59.800
<v Speaker 2>want to do interviews, They did not want to be

699
00:39:59.800 --> 00:40:03.559
<v Speaker 2>in because it made it more difficult for them to

700
00:40:03.639 --> 00:40:07.400
<v Speaker 2>do their job and create the persona and make you

701
00:40:07.519 --> 00:40:11.320
<v Speaker 2>believe that it's not Bob de Niro, or it's not

702
00:40:11.440 --> 00:40:17.119
<v Speaker 2>Al Pacino. That well, it's the Godfather, you know, or

703
00:40:17.239 --> 00:40:21.039
<v Speaker 2>the Bronx Tale. Or Jimmy and Goodfellas. That's not Bob

704
00:40:21.079 --> 00:40:27.039
<v Speaker 2>de Niro, that's Jimmy and Goodfellas. Come on. But now

705
00:40:27.119 --> 00:40:30.280
<v Speaker 2>with YouTube, it almost seems with movies it's like the

706
00:40:30.360 --> 00:40:33.880
<v Speaker 2>behind the scenes, the bloopers, and the YouTube promos leading

707
00:40:33.960 --> 00:40:36.159
<v Speaker 2>up to it are more important than the movie itself.

708
00:40:36.840 --> 00:40:39.559
<v Speaker 2>That's what happened with Deadpool. At Deadpool and Wolverine, there

709
00:40:39.639 --> 00:40:42.960
<v Speaker 2>was so much publicity about you Jackman and Ryan Reynolds

710
00:40:43.000 --> 00:40:44.519
<v Speaker 2>and that their buddies and they love to give each

711
00:40:44.519 --> 00:40:46.519
<v Speaker 2>other crap on Twitter and so forth. And Sean Levy,

712
00:40:46.519 --> 00:40:48.639
<v Speaker 2>who was a great director, came on board. He was

713
00:40:48.639 --> 00:40:51.519
<v Speaker 2>going to direct this. They forgot what it's about, and

714
00:40:51.559 --> 00:40:54.480
<v Speaker 2>it's about creating a story. It's about creating a story

715
00:40:54.480 --> 00:40:57.079
<v Speaker 2>in a world that we want to believe exists. For

716
00:40:57.159 --> 00:41:01.000
<v Speaker 2>two hours and ten minutes, they kept taking us out

717
00:41:01.000 --> 00:41:06.400
<v Speaker 2>of the moment with jokes mentioning the actor's real name.

718
00:41:08.400 --> 00:41:12.239
<v Speaker 2>I mean, there's a there's a layer where the villain

719
00:41:12.280 --> 00:41:15.119
<v Speaker 2>lives and it's Paul Rudd's helmet, you know, from ant Man,

720
00:41:15.280 --> 00:41:17.920
<v Speaker 2>And even they didn't even have to say anything, just

721
00:41:18.519 --> 00:41:22.480
<v Speaker 2>we know it's ant Man's helmet, and they didn't even

722
00:41:22.519 --> 00:41:24.880
<v Speaker 2>have to mention Paul Rudd, but they did. I'm so

723
00:41:25.039 --> 00:41:29.559
<v Speaker 2>bummed out, so bummed out. Remember it's all about the story.

724
00:41:29.559 --> 00:41:33.639
<v Speaker 2>Folks coming up next, presidents who were great that we

725
00:41:33.719 --> 00:41:35.800
<v Speaker 2>thought were going to suck on WBZ.