Speaker 1: Okay, okay, damn. Hello, this is Laura Kane after Dark.
Speaker 1: I'm Laura Kane. Hi, Laura Kane and Eric Rimmer, my
Speaker 1: co host has decided that this is going to be
Speaker 1: uh headphone free night.
Speaker 2: I didn't wear my headphones last week either.
Speaker 1: Is this a new thing we're doing where we're kind
Speaker 1: of looking more cool with all these big giant things
Speaker 1: in our head Maybe Okay, let me see. I like
Speaker 1: hearing the little music in the background.
Speaker 2: Though, Oh, you look totally cool.
Speaker 3: You'll have to wear them later.
Speaker 1: I know you will, because I have some things to
Speaker 1: play for you.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: Anyway, welcome to Laura Kane after Dark. I hope you
Speaker 1: guys had a great Mother's Day. However, you act as
Speaker 1: a mother in somebody's life, foster mother, guardian, an aunt
Speaker 1: that's like a mom, a real mom, or those of
Speaker 1: us that don't have our moms with us anymore. How
Speaker 1: did you do yesterday? Were you okay? Yeah?
Speaker 2: It was okay, okay.
Speaker 1: You honored her in your your own special way. I
Speaker 1: did in Vegas by putting some money in a slot machine.
Speaker 2: I did not gamble, dude.
Speaker 1: I so wanted him to just put twenty dollars in
Speaker 1: a penny machine. Wouldn't do it.
Speaker 3: He has before we already gotten a game.
Speaker 1: Like then he wanted to do He kind of toyed
Speaker 1: with the idea of putting like one hundred bucks on black.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, that's table games. That's different.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he didn't do that.
Speaker 2: One hundred bucks.
Speaker 1: No, that's that would be outrageous to get to take
Speaker 1: Blackjack's fine. See, I would totally do that because but
Speaker 1: I'm risky like that anyway. Okay, so today tonight we're
Speaker 1: going to talk about several things. I have created my
Speaker 1: dating profile and it is one of the apps. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I should mention it. Maybe I won't,
Speaker 1: just because.
Speaker 3: Once you describe it, it'll become obvious, which one.
Speaker 1: Probably, But you know, I don't want floods of guys,
Speaker 1: you know, like you know, I wouldn't be slamming my page.
Speaker 2: Yeah, those tens of those guys.
Speaker 1: So okay, we have that to talk about. Oh, we
Speaker 1: also have Mother's Day to talk about. And a ritual
Speaker 1: I did with my niece and I have it here.
Speaker 1: I bought it from this Crystal store and I'll explain
Speaker 1: what we did. And it already worked, and I'm going
Speaker 1: to tell you.
Speaker 3: How is it the Zultar machine outside of Amethyst Rose.
Speaker 1: No, did you see that video that I posted.
Speaker 3: I used to live like right there where I used
Speaker 3: to live.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: But you know what, I've used that Zultar machine like
Speaker 3: ten times.
Speaker 1: I didn't say this on the little reel that I made,
Speaker 1: but that fortune he popped out was crap.
Speaker 3: Yet the fun is the machine, not the fortune.
Speaker 1: True. I mean it is pretty magnificent. Cool, yeah, very
Speaker 1: very cool. So it was really fun to watch. So
Speaker 1: all right, Eric, since I'm using the phone for Instagram,
Speaker 1: thank you guys for watching us live on Instagram. We
Speaker 1: so appreciate it. And on YouTube to thank you, I
Speaker 1: have sent you all the different things that I had
Speaker 1: to write for my profile. I put six pictures on
Speaker 1: my new dating app, and there were I think four
Speaker 1: or five different prompts that I honestly answered with not
Speaker 1: too much of a joke, not too sarcastic, and I
Speaker 1: took a little bit from what you wrote about me, huh.
Speaker 1: I kind of tweaked it a little bit because to
Speaker 1: fit this, okay, And then I launched it and within
Speaker 1: an hour I had like ninety two like hearts. But
Speaker 1: I can't go through all of them. I have to
Speaker 1: do one by one because I'm not paying for it.
Speaker 1: And if you don't pay for it, you can't see
Speaker 1: all the people who like you.
Speaker 2: Got it, you kind of have.
Speaker 1: But here's the problem. I have put my age range
Speaker 1: between thirty five and seventy.
Speaker 3: And so oh, just to think of a hinge.
Speaker 1: Variety, just variety, just to see what's out there.
Speaker 3: I can tell you who's out there in the seventy range.
Speaker 1: Well, that might be my only option at this point,
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I just wanted to see if
Speaker 1: I was attracted to anybody that was of that age.
Speaker 3: Okay, so far, no shocking, but.
Speaker 1: Uh I it's been fun to read some of the things.
Speaker 1: It's been very like what you'd expect. Some are funny.
Speaker 1: The funny ones though, and I don't mean to diss
Speaker 1: on men who are not tall, but I'm and the
Speaker 1: guys that I found very funny were all like five
Speaker 1: eight or five seven.
Speaker 2: God, the nerve.
Speaker 3: That's unfortunate. That's actually someone who's taller than that. That
Speaker 3: is actually the average height of men.
Speaker 1: How do I I guess I just have to learn
Speaker 1: to get past it. If I really find somebody.
Speaker 3: Like you don't have to that's a deal breaker for
Speaker 3: a lot of like women.
Speaker 1: But I could really be missing out on somebody like amazing.
Speaker 3: But like it seems like such a trivial thing. But
Speaker 3: how much of like how annoying would it be if
Speaker 3: you're like, let's say, I mean a couple inches taller
Speaker 3: than the guy.
Speaker 1: You're with, if he didn't care and if he was confident,
Speaker 1: I don't know, would it matter all that much.
Speaker 3: I don't think I could be with someone taller than me.
Speaker 1: Would I feel uncomfortable? I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I was at it. I was at a disco bar
Speaker 3: on Friday night.
Speaker 1: At disco bar.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like light up dance floor disco like it was
Speaker 3: in downtown. It was actually really cool.
Speaker 4: Way.
Speaker 3: There was a couple there that was dancing, and it
Speaker 3: was like this chick and she was probably like five nine,
Speaker 3: she's pretty tall, and she's with a guy who was like,
Speaker 3: I mean I swear like five five or five cent wow.
Speaker 3: And I mean they looked very sweet together, they're very happy.
Speaker 3: But I was like, I could not do that, that
Speaker 3: would be it looked odd. Yeah, I just feel like
Speaker 3: psychologically being in that relationship, it would just be it
Speaker 3: would be like something would be off.
Speaker 1: Gosh, I know. But then there's a lot I mean,
Speaker 1: there's gonna be a lot of people that comment you
Speaker 1: just you could be giving up the love of your
Speaker 1: life only because he's just a few inches shorter than
Speaker 1: you'd like.
Speaker 3: Don't listen to the haters. Be a hater.
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna be a hater. So, okay, I thought
Speaker 1: we'd start off and I I want you, guys, You're
Speaker 1: probably gonna make fun of me, but I want you
Speaker 1: to honestly give me your true feedback on what I wrote,
Speaker 1: because I really thought this out and I did it
Speaker 1: from my heart, and I did it professionally.
Speaker 3: Did Marie for you?
Speaker 1: She did not okay?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 1: And I ran it by her and she she okayed
Speaker 1: all of it. She's been Yeah, she approves, she approved.
Speaker 1: I know. Actually get her home mic she needs it
Speaker 1: because she needs comments on some of this. So the
Speaker 1: first so there were six pictures that I posted, new ones,
Speaker 1: updated ones because I've been on this app before. And
Speaker 1: then the first prompt is dating me is like mm hmmm,
Speaker 1: so this is what I wrote.
Speaker 2: Dating me is like writing a not so scary roller coaster.
Speaker 2: I'm terrified of the big one. No, you're not authentically fun.
Speaker 1: Oh let me read it without your comments because it's
Speaker 1: getting confusing.
Speaker 2: You're not terrified of the big one.
Speaker 1: I am terrified of big roller coasters.
Speaker 2: Oh you were talking about roller coasters. Why that was
Speaker 2: code for something else?
Speaker 5: Wait?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Hold on, that is the stream.
Speaker 1: No, he needs to not comment, he needs to reading.
Speaker 2: She was being dirty.
Speaker 3: Okay, I don't know anyway.
Speaker 2: Dating me is like writing a not so scary roller coaster.
Speaker 2: I'm terrified of the big ones. Authentically fun and surprisingly,
Speaker 2: it's exciting so much to laugh and talk about. My
Speaker 2: book is open. I'm curious to dive into yours.
Speaker 1: That's okay, right.
Speaker 3: I would get rid of that first line.
Speaker 1: The way I have it in parentheses. It's like writing
Speaker 1: a not so scary roller coaster because I'm afraid of
Speaker 1: the scary ones.
Speaker 3: It's I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, surprisingly exciting and fun.
Speaker 3: I just don't know if it makes lots of sense.
Speaker 3: Is it an innuendo too? I'm like not sure if
Speaker 3: it is. No, but it kind of seems like it
Speaker 3: could be like a bad one.
Speaker 1: Well, I didn't.
Speaker 3: I'm like, God, is this just like the worst in
Speaker 3: window I've.
Speaker 1: Ever heard of? A No, I was not doing that.
Speaker 1: I was not doing anything like that.
Speaker 3: I would personally, I would say the first line is
Speaker 3: just I don't quite understand it. Okay, I think the
Speaker 3: rest of it's fine. All right, it does seem like you,
Speaker 3: all right.
Speaker 1: Continue.
Speaker 2: The way to win me over is make me laugh
Speaker 2: till I cry with your wit, sarcasm and charm, and
Speaker 2: don't take yourself too seriously. We are all flawed beings,
Speaker 2: and sometimes those flaws are hysterical.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, see, not too too cringey.
Speaker 3: It's a little it almost gets a little philosophical in
Speaker 3: there with going on about the flaws. Boom. Okay.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be original and kind of unique and
Speaker 1: to stand out and be myself all these things. It's hard,
Speaker 1: all right, all right? Next one?
Speaker 3: Oh boy, oh geez?
Speaker 1: What is this one?
Speaker 2: A random fact? I love? Is it takes two billion,
Speaker 2: three hundred and ninety five million, one hundred and sixty thousand,
Speaker 2: plain eminems to fill an Olympic size swimming pool. So
Speaker 2: I want to dive into it.
Speaker 3: I so want to dive into Are you like thirteen
Speaker 3: or something.
Speaker 1: Oh, I've always wanted to dive into a pool full
Speaker 1: of eminem.
Speaker 3: You should keep that to yourself.
Speaker 1: That's a random fact.
Speaker 3: That's not a random random fact about yourself, about anything.
Speaker 3: I think you should make it more about yourself. Okay,
Speaker 3: it makes you more. That doesn't make you intriguing, that
Speaker 3: makes you weird.
Speaker 1: Well, let me tell you. I've received a lot of
Speaker 1: comments about that.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: I just okay, guys, trying to make okay.
Speaker 3: Anyway, if you like it, keep it okay?
Speaker 2: Which event should we try? Time travel too?
Speaker 1: I had to pick these.
Speaker 2: Wow, she's like these.
Speaker 3: Nineteen seventy two San Diego plane crash, not not too far?
Speaker 2: You really chose these?
Speaker 1: These are time These are things I'd like to time travel.
Speaker 3: Seventy six Woodstock concert in the park.
Speaker 2: You're not too far off, Mars or Moon expedition, okay,
Speaker 2: Studio fifty four in the seventies, Okay, that'd be really fun.
Speaker 2: Retired living on the beach in Mexico.
Speaker 3: All right. Gives me a Shawshank redemption vibes.
Speaker 1: And then this is what comes up. If somebody likes me,
Speaker 1: this little sentence comes up.
Speaker 2: New matches will new matches will see your note before
Speaker 2: the conversation starts. They can either unmatch or start the
Speaker 2: chat after reading it.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's it.
Speaker 2: Get Ready, you're in for a crazy, positively unique experience.
Speaker 3: Okay, you should get rid of that asap. That's awful.
Speaker 1: Why isn't it true? No, get ready, you're in for a.
Speaker 3: Unique It's so cringey. It It's also it's like when
Speaker 3: someone says, like, oh, I guess I'm just quirky. It's
Speaker 3: like it's way too quirky. Really okay, Like it's it's
Speaker 3: almost kind of bizarre, all right, So like if I
Speaker 3: saw that, I would unmatch really actually, yeah, all right,
Speaker 3: it's really strange.
Speaker 1: I gotta say. And Marie told me this was going
Speaker 1: to happen right when I launched the app and it
Speaker 1: went live. They send like the top up tier guys, right,
Speaker 1: so I immediately had like ninety three likes and I can
Speaker 1: only see one at a time since I don't pay
Speaker 1: for it. Well, here are some and some of these
Speaker 1: guys can send a little voice message just to introduce
Speaker 1: themselves or say something interesting about themselves. So here are
Speaker 1: four of them that I picked out.
Speaker 3: Put your headphones on, Eric, put your.
Speaker 1: Headphones on, because this is what is out there. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is what's out there. Now, you tell me which one,
Speaker 1: my god, you would date.
Speaker 2: Okay, my therapist would have a lot to say, mostly
Speaker 2: don't revert back to my little street urchin self. Other
Speaker 2: than that, good progress, not perfection.
Speaker 3: Okay, what is that in response to.
Speaker 1: Like a fact about me or something about.
Speaker 2: These guys are leaving like deep voicemail teams for you.
Speaker 1: No, that's not for me. These are on their program.
Speaker 3: Oh well, what is that specifically? And that's got to
Speaker 3: be to a different prompt That doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1: Whatever, but listen to it. He sounds like he's like
Speaker 1: half dead. Yeah, well okay, the other wise therapy, the
Speaker 1: other one talks about I kind of wrote down what
Speaker 1: they were talking about.
Speaker 3: All right, what does it say he was talking about
Speaker 3: his pitch.
Speaker 1: Oh he's pitching himself.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 4: You are looking for a long term, committed relationship with
Speaker 4: a gentleman who still believes in treating a woman the
Speaker 4: way they should be treated, respect valued, and honored. I'm open, honest,
Speaker 4: and loyal. Communication is the key to a great relationship.
Speaker 4: My major love languages are physical touch and quality time,
Speaker 4: with gifting a strong third. Anyway, if this sounds good,
Speaker 4: hit me up.
Speaker 3: Thanks.
Speaker 1: Okay, it sounds like you wrote that out.
Speaker 3: I would.
Speaker 2: Well, he sounds like a school teacher.
Speaker 3: I get some real bad vibes from that guy. I
Speaker 3: guarantee two perfect. She probably is loyal that he's been
Speaker 3: cheated on. Also, bet he's not that nice to woman
Speaker 3: he protects it waited too hard.
Speaker 1: There is a giant red flag waving about that for
Speaker 1: some reason. And then this.
Speaker 3: I bet he's a huge misogynist.
Speaker 1: This guy, what did what did? What did?
Speaker 3: Memory?
Speaker 1: Oh, this is one of his childhood memories.
Speaker 6: Oh God, So when I was young, there was a
Speaker 6: deer on the side of the road and I threw
Speaker 6: open the car door, jumped out of the car, ran
Speaker 6: out into the field and hugged it. And the whole
Speaker 6: car stayed frozen because they didn't want me to get kicked.
Speaker 6: And I just stayed there hugging it for a very
Speaker 6: long time, and the deer just let me.
Speaker 5: I was young. What.
Speaker 1: Wow, this is what is out there?
Speaker 3: My friend?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 3: This is just the two seventy plus. This sounds like
Speaker 3: a dementia story.
Speaker 1: Like no that even that guy was. I think that
Speaker 1: guy was like forty ish.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: All right, but uh so this is kind of what
Speaker 1: I'm uh, what I've experienced so far.
Speaker 3: I'd go on a date with him. I bet he's
Speaker 3: real interesting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the deer hugger.
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, I don't think there's any long term potential there,
Speaker 3: but it'd be a funny story for sure.
Speaker 2: You know what I think she should do. I think
Speaker 2: she should get about twenty cats, gain about one hundred
Speaker 2: and fifty six pounds, and just sit around and eat
Speaker 2: frosting out of the can. Well.
Speaker 3: She's basically like that with dogs.
Speaker 1: Oh man, I do that in other ways.
Speaker 3: It's gummy bears and dogs.
Speaker 1: Marie, I don't want you do you want to?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: Okay, did you meet well did you meet your person
Speaker 1: on my same app? Okay, we'll talk about We will
Speaker 1: talk about it later. Let me just say it's so
Speaker 1: far going very nice. They sat by the pool today
Speaker 1: at his place, and how fun is that?
Speaker 2: I mean fun fun?
Speaker 1: And they're both and like she hasn't had there were
Speaker 1: no major red flags. He's very nice to her. He's
Speaker 1: very like respectable and happy. Laura.
Speaker 3: Laura's like minimal requirements.
Speaker 1: No, and I'm saying nice things. Oh, what's.
Speaker 3: I'll say something nice.
Speaker 1: No, he seems like a really nice person.
Speaker 3: I'm glad that you sounds like it's a nice pool.
Speaker 1: Is it? He does? God, it was a perfect day
Speaker 1: to lay by the pool. I mean that's a nice date.
Speaker 1: Second date.
Speaker 3: Wait, do you do you tell them about like the podcast?
Speaker 3: Like you're like, want to hear something interesting about me?
Speaker 3: Sometimes I am a gist on the podcast in my
Speaker 3: living room.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's not dut she's.
Speaker 3: I can't differentiate. She said to.
Speaker 1: Him, she said something about the podcast, and he's like, oh, oh,
Speaker 1: how like he wanted to know all about it and stuff.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god. If you would have invited
Speaker 1: him in, he would have been on the podcast. So
Speaker 1: I'm glad that you didn't because I probably would have
Speaker 1: forced the pork to get on. That's not right. It
Speaker 1: would be bad. And I know myself, like I know.
Speaker 3: That I would a guy in fifty days.
Speaker 1: I know, but uh more, Oh, okay, one more? Oh god,
Speaker 1: this guy, this guy, this is an older guy.
Speaker 5: Burgonzola butter cheese in equal parts garlic, gorgonzola, or blue cheese,
Speaker 5: and then also Italian salted butter. You reduce all that
Speaker 5: at low heat to make sure nothing burns. Mix it
Speaker 5: together when it's mixed equally. Put that back into a
Speaker 5: container under the freezer. And now you've got that for
Speaker 5: cooking later. Are we going to put that on steaks?
Speaker 5: Are we going to mix that with a little bit
Speaker 5: of olive oil and make a salad dressing? What are
Speaker 5: we gonna do with that? Let's cook?
Speaker 2: Do you know the only thing that's burning? After hearing
Speaker 2: that on my ears, I know.
Speaker 3: Actually kind of like his voice though.
Speaker 2: It creeped me out, but yeah, he sounds like somebody
Speaker 2: that would be telling you at some point in your relationship,
Speaker 2: who puts lotion in the basket like something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I did a voice prompt and I didn't
Speaker 1: put it on, and it's on my phone and I
Speaker 1: you can't get on my app. Maybe you on and
Speaker 1: it's okay, it's it's something. It's not very I am
Speaker 1: not getting on your app.
Speaker 3: You've got some promising guys here, no way. Okay. If
Speaker 3: you had to pick one of them, which one would
Speaker 3: it be?
Speaker 1: The deer Hugger? Probably just because it's kind of cute
Speaker 1: and interesting.
Speaker 3: It's not that cute, but definitely the therapy guy. Also
Speaker 3: former sea urchin or street urchin.
Speaker 1: What does that mean?
Speaker 3: I don't know if does that mean he was part
Speaker 3: of a gang or is it a misdemeanor or something?
Speaker 1: No, he probably that's just like a you know, like
Speaker 1: the urchins in the sea, like a little ree urchin.
Speaker 3: That's that's like.
Speaker 1: A Is that a like a slang term for something that's.
Speaker 3: Slang for someone who used to be on the streets
Speaker 3: a lot?
Speaker 2: Oh boy, that.
Speaker 3: Gives me crime vibes. I could also just mean, I guess,
Speaker 3: like a bum or something. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3: Definitely not the pitch the high pitch guy or the uh,
Speaker 3: the guy giving his sales pitch. No, he's got kids too.
Speaker 2: I bet.
Speaker 1: I am an open book. Yes, and I should not
Speaker 1: tell this story.
Speaker 2: Oh boy, here we go.
Speaker 3: You should tell it.
Speaker 1: No, I really shouldn't. It's because all right, I want
Speaker 1: you to know, just can I can I preface this
Speaker 1: by saying that I am. I go through phases like
Speaker 1: my gummy bear phase, like my chewing ice phase, like
Speaker 1: I go through little weird phases. Sure, when I have
Speaker 1: like a hundred dollars bill in my wallet.
Speaker 3: You go through a spending money.
Speaker 1: Phase, I go, I want to play those damn penny
Speaker 1: slot machines. I love them. I'm not a gambling addict
Speaker 1: yet because I can't. I don't have the money to
Speaker 1: be an addict. I don't have the money to lose,
Speaker 1: or even the money to start. So I stay. I
Speaker 1: go one hundred dollars and that's it.
Speaker 3: I mean, that could still be a gambling addicte.
Speaker 1: I know, well, I am an addict after all, but
Speaker 1: hopefully this will pass. But this is what I did
Speaker 1: last night. No, no, I'm like driving home from my
Speaker 1: mom's house. It was I left at nine thirty at
Speaker 1: night last night. I got to Temecula because she lives
Speaker 1: in Rancha Cucamonga. I'm like, I think there's like a
Speaker 1: sino right around here because we went to see what's
Speaker 1: her face at Pachunga. Oh yeah, remember Kathy Griffin? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: so I said.
Speaker 2: Pachanga, Pachanga. It's Pachanga. Uh this whole time I thought
Speaker 2: it was Pachanga.
Speaker 1: And did you know it's Coal's Mountain, not cows Coals Mountain.
Speaker 1: I'll explain though it's not Cow's Mountain. Everybody calls it Cows.
Speaker 1: The man who gave the land to the city was
Speaker 1: named George Coles.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's named Cow's Mountain. We changed it.
Speaker 1: So I said to myself, you know what f it,
Speaker 1: it's Mother's Day. I can do whatever I want. My
Speaker 1: kids were so sweet enough to send me these beautiful flowers,
Speaker 1: and they each called me, but I didn't have them
Speaker 1: with me. I had my mom. It was great to
Speaker 1: spend time with Earth, but I'm like, I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: something fun for myself. Pulled off the freeway. No oh no,
Speaker 1: got out. I was in my pajamas, but I changed
Speaker 1: into this like sloppy sun dress that I had just
Speaker 1: so would be my job, just like this. It wasn't cute.
Speaker 1: It was just like a throw like a cover up,
Speaker 1: a beach cover up. Pretty much had no makeup on.
Speaker 3: So trashy, so trashy.
Speaker 1: I sit down at a slot machine that had three
Speaker 1: different there were three machines, and there's two guys sitting
Speaker 1: next to me. So this one guy was winning like
Speaker 1: eighteen hundred dollars and I was excited for him. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, all right, good, that's awesome. Good for you.
Speaker 1: So we started like talking. All of a sudden, it's
Speaker 1: like three o'clock in the morning. Yep, we the three
Speaker 1: of us, these two guys, and I are having a blast.
Speaker 1: He's floating me the money that he's winning, and we're
Speaker 1: we're betting like thirty dollars a hit. Like this guy
Speaker 1: is out of control, and I was all about it.
Speaker 1: It was so fun, god, because I wasn't by money.
Speaker 1: So he like walks away with like three grand right,
Speaker 1: and he goes, do you want to come up and
Speaker 1: see my room?
Speaker 2: Oh god, oh no, let me.
Speaker 1: Tell you something. I was totally kidding. I wasn't. I
Speaker 1: was vibing with this guy. We were like having a
Speaker 1: lot of fun. He was a little bit younger. He
Speaker 1: was probably in his late forties, so it wasn't that
Speaker 1: much younger than me. He goes, why are you like
Speaker 1: he goes stand up straight or you know your posture.
Speaker 1: He was just kind of give me grief. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not wearing a bra. That's why I didn't want
Speaker 1: to blink, because I you know, I didn't want to
Speaker 1: say why because I kind of have a problem with
Speaker 1: in the nipple region if I don't wear a bra.
Speaker 1: So I was like going like this. So he's like, no,
Speaker 1: sit up straight, my god, Oh no, I was doing everything.
Speaker 1: It was just such an inappropriate story. I'm telling you this.
Speaker 1: So he goes, all right, it was like three now,
Speaker 1: three thirty. He had to go to work, he had
Speaker 1: to leave at five am. But he goes, we have
Speaker 1: a penthouse. I go, all right, I'll go because there's
Speaker 1: two guys, all right, and.
Speaker 2: Which makes it so much, so much worse.
Speaker 1: I am the biggest dumb dumb now they think about it,
Speaker 1: but they seemed cool. I didn't get a bad vibe
Speaker 1: from them at all. I go up to the room,
Speaker 1: I look around. The guy grabs me around my bat.
Speaker 1: He liked to hug me, and he cracks my back
Speaker 1: for me, and then he goes, I want to see
Speaker 1: you again. And he lives in La I guess, but
Speaker 1: he's always down, Like once a month. He comes to
Speaker 1: Pachana Gun and stays for like the weekend, and he
Speaker 1: was kind of funny, But like, do I want to
Speaker 1: do that?
Speaker 3: I don't know how this story ended without something.
Speaker 2: Without penetration. Oh, I don't know how well?
Speaker 3: I like, I don't. I don't understand why, Okay, because.
Speaker 1: I'm impulsive and I do things like.
Speaker 3: No, that's fine, Like I'm like, that's not the most insane,
Speaker 3: Like you know, if that had been like a hookup story,
Speaker 3: that wouldn't be the most insane hookup story I've ever heard.
Speaker 1: And you know what he told me this.
Speaker 3: Is it's almost crazier that it didn't end in that.
Speaker 1: My favorite thing of the whole night was he goes,
Speaker 1: I love women with curbs. You've got a great, nice,
Speaker 1: big booty.
Speaker 3: And somehow you went to his penthouse and nothing happened.
Speaker 1: Well, wait, there was another dude. There was like his
Speaker 1: best friend.
Speaker 3: I'm not that doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 2: I'm surprised a kniffel tower didn't happen exactly.
Speaker 1: I was not gonna do anything. I didn't kiss him,
Speaker 1: I didn't do any of that. I didn't like any
Speaker 1: of that.
Speaker 3: I bet that guy was pissed. No, it was like disappointed.
Speaker 1: He's like that too bad?
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh my god.
Speaker 1: But I got home at five in them oh god,
Speaker 1: because I still had to drive to San Diego. I had,
Speaker 1: oh Jesus, all that he won and that we were
Speaker 1: playing with I I didn't end up with any of it,
Speaker 1: which is fine, because he didn't he didn't owe me
Speaker 1: any money. That's it was his money. We were playing
Speaker 1: with it. It was just a fun time. I didn't
Speaker 1: lose any money. I didn't win any money. I did
Speaker 1: something stupid.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, wait what else?
Speaker 1: No, I shouldn't have gone up to somebody's stranger's hotel
Speaker 1: drink strangers and they were totally drinking and both men.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean definitely if you're not prepared for the
Speaker 3: I guess the.
Speaker 2: And you know what men have that women don't have?
Speaker 2: What wiers?
Speaker 1: Oh god, Yeah, it was not wrong. That was not
Speaker 1: something I was.
Speaker 2: They Oh they were.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if that was something that was out of the
Speaker 3: realm of question, why would you go up to their
Speaker 3: hotel room?
Speaker 1: Do you see how cool it was? They had the penthouse,
Speaker 1: they had the beautiful view of the pool. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm the most naive person in the world on it.
Speaker 3: I'm like shocked, you're.
Speaker 1: Shocked at my stupidity.
Speaker 2: If you give me one hundred dollars, I can I
Speaker 2: can go like this with my finger and make it
Speaker 2: two hundred?
Speaker 3: Can I almost I'm almost wondering if you're just like
Speaker 3: you're leaving out, you're just stay.
Speaker 1: Up lying I didn't do anything on tour.
Speaker 3: Because let's just recap. What happened is you went to
Speaker 3: the casino and you were there till three am, flirting
Speaker 3: with the guy the entire time who's clearly making like
Speaker 3: sexual advances.
Speaker 1: And then we shared a seat at one point because.
Speaker 2: Holy okay, you share worse.
Speaker 3: And then he goes, hey, come up to my penthouse
Speaker 3: and you go, okay, sure, and you go up to
Speaker 3: his penthouse and you're like, but nothing happened, and I
Speaker 3: got home at five am, might go are you sure?
Speaker 1: Well? I just love wrong. This is a great, great
Speaker 1: meeting you guys. I hope you have a good day
Speaker 1: at work tomorrow. Thank you so much for letting me
Speaker 1: play with you. It was really fun. And I wasn't
Speaker 1: going to sweat right now to tell anybody that's oh
Speaker 1: my god.
Speaker 3: Because here's the thing. If like, let's say something did happen,
Speaker 3: I'd be like, oh, that's crazy. You know, it's a
Speaker 3: hookup story whatever. But the fact that nothing did happen
Speaker 3: and you got him at five am after all, that
Speaker 3: is like almost weirder of a story.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to do anything, and that's fine.
Speaker 3: That's fine, But then no, you weren't friends.
Speaker 1: I know, I know.
Speaker 3: He why did you go to his pet hoouse? That's crazy?
Speaker 1: But nobody on this planet has ever told me I
Speaker 1: had a big booty, and that made me so happy.
Speaker 1: I don't know what I was because I don't have
Speaker 1: a big booty. I want like a kurvy booty, but
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 3: Have all Right, all right, that's that's great and all.
Speaker 1: Anyway, So there's that. Now I'm super uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: Now everybody's gonna write me, well, Laura can, Lauric can
Speaker 2: take our profile down now.
Speaker 1: Because nobody's gonna I think he's rich.
Speaker 3: How you get a pehouse?
Speaker 1: Well, he said he works well, and he was betting,
Speaker 1: like at one point he was betting thirty dollars a spin.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: He said he works for some tax company and that
Speaker 1: he helps people, uh figure.
Speaker 3: Out their tax hlo.
Speaker 1: No, like a like a tax rise something like that.
Speaker 1: Like people that help you deal with your back taxes
Speaker 1: and help you make payments. And he says he likes
Speaker 1: helping people.
Speaker 3: Sure, yeah, I became a tax Atney Penthouse hotel room.
Speaker 1: And the guy who was with is this friend from
Speaker 1: like high school that they've been Buddies forever, and this
Speaker 1: poor guy lost two thousand dollars within it.
Speaker 2: I would I would have been I would have had a.
Speaker 1: So bummed out. He was like so sad.
Speaker 3: So I was like, don't worry. I'm gonna get us
Speaker 3: a girl and we'll do it together.
Speaker 1: God oh god, oh god, oh god.
Speaker 2: It's like I know how to make you feel better.
Speaker 3: I'm like shocked.
Speaker 1: How here's the thing about me. I I'm addicted to excitement.
Speaker 1: That's what I've learned. I'm addicted to excitement and adventure
Speaker 1: and the un But.
Speaker 3: You like, also never commit to excitement.
Speaker 1: That was exciting to me. Oh that was exciting to me.
Speaker 1: And to be in the casino and hit the button
Speaker 1: and it was thirty buttons, Like.
Speaker 3: You're like committed, You're so addicted to like such a
Speaker 3: low level of excitement.
Speaker 2: Brian, that's what she's calling it now, hitting the button?
Speaker 3: Oh got it?
Speaker 1: Do you got? Are you disappointed in me? Guys? Are
Speaker 1: you very disappointed?
Speaker 3: I'm just like so confused, but you know.
Speaker 1: Me, yeah, no, no, I'm like this, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: kinda I'm not I'm not playing with the full deck,
Speaker 1: as my dad would say.
Speaker 3: I guess everyone else, not Scenariol be like, screw it,
Speaker 3: I'm here, which you know, screw it.
Speaker 1: I'm here, let's do it.
Speaker 3: Well, I think most people would have either said no,
Speaker 3: I'm not going to your penthouse, or they said screw it,
Speaker 3: I'm going up to your penthouse just.
Speaker 1: To see it. No one does that happen because I'm
Speaker 1: a curious person.
Speaker 3: No that, Oh yeah, no, I know that. I'm just
Speaker 3: like and then he.
Speaker 1: Tried to crack my back and he did the ever
Speaker 1: so slightly boob uh not the the grays, and I
Speaker 1: noticed that. I was like, all right, it's time to
Speaker 1: leave it because things are He's starting to uh get
Speaker 1: a little handsy, and.
Speaker 2: You I, oh, okay, oh you know, you know I
Speaker 2: wanted to you know, he wanted to crack more than
Speaker 2: your back. Yeah, clearly that I totally wanted to crack
Speaker 2: your was obvious.
Speaker 3: Actually, I do feel a little bad for him because
Speaker 3: he's like, hey, when come my panals? You're like, yeah, sure,
Speaker 3: and then you get there, like I literally just came
Speaker 3: to see your penthouse and you leave like once again.
Speaker 1: He was sharing it with his best friend. What are
Speaker 1: we gonna do?
Speaker 3: Like the guy Theiffel Tower maybe the friend was gonna
Speaker 3: step I don't know, but all right, I'm sure you
Speaker 3: gave off some bad I hate.
Speaker 1: Myself for telling that story. I'm going to edit this
Speaker 1: whole thing out.
Speaker 2: And you know what the best part is is that
Speaker 2: you didn't just tell the room, you told all of America.
Speaker 3: I know it's story.
Speaker 1: Is this kind of like I need to like not
Speaker 1: be this kind of person. I don't know what will
Speaker 1: fill me where I.
Speaker 3: Won't do things, don't go up to strange men's apartments
Speaker 3: without explicit intention to do so.
Speaker 2: It's a good thing I wasn't there.
Speaker 1: Oh you would have cock blocked. Yeah you are. You
Speaker 1: wouldn't have even let me put.
Speaker 2: A dollar in the.
Speaker 1: Okay, So that said. My niece and I went to
Speaker 1: a crystal shop on Mother's Day, Becau. There's one down
Speaker 1: the street from my mom where she goes and buys
Speaker 1: her sis. There's this liquor store where she goes buys
Speaker 1: her SIGs and her lottery tickets or scratcher. She loves doing.
Speaker 2: I love talking to her.
Speaker 1: She's so happy that you texted her for Mother's Day.
Speaker 1: She loved it. She loved you so much. Anyway, I
Speaker 1: bought this kit for eleven dollars and it's a money
Speaker 1: manifesting kit, which you can see how hard this door this.
Speaker 2: I could hear your eye roll from here.
Speaker 3: They were like spot machines. Actually it was like the
Speaker 3: wheels spinning and the slot machine. That's how hard my
Speaker 3: eyes were rolling.
Speaker 1: It came with a candle.
Speaker 3: Came with some money.
Speaker 1: It came with some oil and some like some stuff
Speaker 1: that looks like it almost looks like marijuana, but it
Speaker 1: was you know, stuff you put in. It's like popoury.
Speaker 3: Okay, So pray, tell how does this so money?
Speaker 1: You take the oil and you counter not counterclockwise, clock clockwise,
Speaker 1: you rub it on the candle.
Speaker 3: So if you do it the wrong way, do you
Speaker 3: lose money?
Speaker 1: I don't know. This is just what the woman told me, okay.
Speaker 1: And then you roll it in the little shavings or whatever.
Speaker 1: And then before that you I had to put my initials.
Speaker 1: You carve your initials into the candle. You say your intention,
Speaker 1: you write it down. Okay, prepare your working space, remove
Speaker 1: items from the kit, write a petition of intent stating
Speaker 1: what will happen, not what you hope will happen. That's
Speaker 1: the key. Light the candle and then do the oil thing.
Speaker 1: Sprinkle the herbs, da da da da, light the candle
Speaker 1: and meditate on the intention that you wrote about, and
Speaker 1: stay with the candle until it's completely done burning, which
Speaker 1: I didn't because I had to blow it out. But
Speaker 1: this is what it looks like.
Speaker 3: Oh it didn't work.
Speaker 1: No, I just had to stop. I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: want to know my mom's cool. Well, do you want
Speaker 1: to know what I wrote?
Speaker 2: Money?
Speaker 3: Money, now, money me please.
Speaker 1: I did this with my niece and it was very
Speaker 1: bonding experience because she's looking for a job. They're bonding
Speaker 1: over we're bonding over weirdness. So all right, here we go.
Speaker 1: May eleventh, twenty five Mother's Day. Okay, the last Mother's
Speaker 1: Day I will celebrate as a money strikeruggling perts person person, person.
Speaker 2: Are your teeth falling out?
Speaker 3: Person?
Speaker 2: What's happening?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Do you want me to read it?
Speaker 1: I'm really nervous because you guys are like, I'm very vulnerable.
Speaker 3: What's going on?
Speaker 2: May eleventh, twenty twenty five Mother's Day.
Speaker 1: I kind of don't want you to read it because
Speaker 1: I might want to leave parts out.
Speaker 2: I read all the last Mother's Day I will celebrate
Speaker 2: as a money struggling person. Next I will be the
Speaker 2: next morning new Inkjel on a Christmas tree. A significant
Speaker 2: amount of money will be in my bank account within
Speaker 2: a few days. Yes, I will spoil Evan in June
Speaker 2: because I'll have more money. Lots of money is on
Speaker 2: the way very soon. Is there more?
Speaker 1: No, that's it. I think that's what I wrote. And
Speaker 1: you know what landed in my account today, surprisingly, so
Speaker 1: expectedly nine dollars from tax return money that was mistakenly
Speaker 1: left out of my tax return.
Speaker 3: That's not unexpected, that's just the irs. That's not like
Speaker 3: your windfall of cash you manifested.
Speaker 1: This was unexpected because there was a mistake on my
Speaker 1: Okay sure, but whatever it happened, some money let it
Speaker 1: in my account.
Speaker 3: So we'll see if this time next year if your
Speaker 3: money struggling perchain.
Speaker 1: And then tonight is important since we're on this woo
Speaker 1: woo journey right now. It is a full moon, and Eric.
Speaker 3: Has it does happen once a month, It.
Speaker 1: Does, but this is an important one. Apparently they say
Speaker 1: this about every full moon, but every full moon has
Speaker 1: like something special about it. So here we go. It's tonight.
Speaker 2: This is called moonomentons.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's a reliable source.
Speaker 2: This full moon in Scorpio is not here to come,
Speaker 2: It is here to liberate. It asks you to feel
Speaker 2: what you're buried, to feel what you've buried, to release
Speaker 2: what no longer honors your growth, and to trust the
Speaker 2: wisdom of your emotions in shedding skin. Your shedding skins,
Speaker 2: your trance, muting pain into power. The depths you're navigating
Speaker 2: now are not meant to break you, but to awaken you.
Speaker 2: Let go, surrender to what's being revealed. You're not falling apart,
Speaker 2: You're being reborn into a truer or freer version of yourself.
Speaker 2: Trust the transformation you are rising from within.
Speaker 1: Okay, now, all read yours? This is what it means
Speaker 1: for Leo.
Speaker 2: Well do you Leo?
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean Capricorn. I forgot to do you? Sorry?
Speaker 3: Brian, You're oh, I'm so hurt.
Speaker 1: This is what has going to happen to you. If
Speaker 1: you go out in the moon tonight and say a
Speaker 1: little intention okay, which you probably won't because you don't
Speaker 1: believe in that kind of stuff, do you, we'll see. Well,
Speaker 1: we're going to go out together and hold hands. I'm
Speaker 1: going to make you do it. Twenty twenty five breaks
Speaker 1: open the armor you've worn for years, the role of
Speaker 1: the strong one, the achiever, the one who endures silently.
Speaker 1: It no longer fits. This is the year you release
Speaker 1: the weight of proving yourself. You've earned the right to rest.
Speaker 1: Let go of the belief that success is the only
Speaker 1: measure of worth. Your soul is calling for connection, creativity,
Speaker 1: and softness. You are not your title, your goals, or
Speaker 1: your control. What wants you to emerge now is the tender,
Speaker 1: intuitive part of what you've suppressed for so long. The
Speaker 1: transformation may feel vulnerable, but it's also your liberation. Let
Speaker 1: go of the fortress which you do build. You build
Speaker 1: fortresses around yourself. What is coming is more human, more real,
Speaker 1: and more fulfilling. Okay, okay, now here's mine, I'll read
Speaker 1: yours can read mine?
Speaker 2: Gemini. Guess who's got a birthday coming up?
Speaker 5: Side?
Speaker 1: I know on a Saturday night, enough four.
Speaker 2: Maybe twenty twenty five whispers to your restless heart that
Speaker 2: not every connection must be maintained. You're releasing the habit
Speaker 2: of scattering your energy into too many places, conversations and ideas.
Speaker 2: It's time to say goodbye to what no longer nourishes
Speaker 2: your mind or spirit. There's beauty in quiet, in depth
Speaker 2: and staying the transformation. This year is about intimacy with
Speaker 2: yourself and with others who meet your soul. That could
Speaker 2: have happened the other time.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: Who meet you soul to soul and just not mine
Speaker 2: to mine. Let go of the version of you who
Speaker 2: needed to be liked, needed to be everywhere at once.
Speaker 2: You don't have to earn love with words. You're already
Speaker 2: enough in silence. What remains when you stop entertaining the
Speaker 2: world is your truth, and that truth is magnetic.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I'm gonna get laid this year. It's not
Speaker 1: basically what it's saying, intimacy. It's unfortunate whatever, all right, anyway,
Speaker 1: that's just part of it. So I'm gonna go out
Speaker 1: on the moon. I'm going to charge my crystals. It's
Speaker 1: like a really cool I know fran is just rolling
Speaker 1: his eyes to death.
Speaker 3: I'm like having a seizure.
Speaker 1: I know, I feel really like I want to crawl
Speaker 1: under a rock right now because I'm very embarrassed about
Speaker 1: what I have revealed to you. Because now you guys
Speaker 1: are gonna think I'm like this huge gambling attic. Like
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm going through a sweat phase or something
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 3: The gambling was the least interesting part about that story.
Speaker 3: You know what, Look, if you want to go through
Speaker 3: a something, just do it. It's fine.
Speaker 1: But I I, it's been so long, I don't know
Speaker 1: how to start. Like, I don't know how to do it.
Speaker 3: You just do what you're doing and just start actually
Speaker 3: doing it.
Speaker 1: It's like when you haven't been to the gym in
Speaker 1: a long time. It's just actually the.
Speaker 3: Weights and you start lifting them.
Speaker 1: It's it's easier said than done.
Speaker 3: I mean, you got like ninety nine percent of the
Speaker 3: way there. You walked out of it. Oh my well, no,
Speaker 3: just fine.
Speaker 2: Oh remind me speaking of working out on Thursday show,
Speaker 2: reminds me to tell you about where I worked out?
Speaker 3: Oh okay, okay, And what happened?
Speaker 1: Was it in Vegas?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 1: Huh okay. I got to hear about your bags? So
Speaker 1: he went to Vegas this weekend, So we're gonna hear
Speaker 1: about that.
Speaker 2: My friend Kate's wedding, yes, yes.
Speaker 1: And that'll be fun. Then there's what else I wanted
Speaker 1: to talk about something, but.
Speaker 3: I'm all, we'll touch it on Thursday.
Speaker 1: You're a mess right now. I want to know, how
Speaker 1: do you how? How do you guys? How's this coming across?
Speaker 3: Just sign out?
Speaker 1: Brian?
Speaker 3: What come on?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 1: You're the one that I don't want to disappoint. I
Speaker 1: don't know your Your opinion of me means a lot,
Speaker 1: and like it's very low.
Speaker 3: Not kidding, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm kidding.
Speaker 1: It's like this story. I just told me. I think
Speaker 1: you have a whole like other opinion of me.
Speaker 5: Now.
Speaker 3: No, I look, I am a feminist. I guess I
Speaker 3: support your empowerment, however that may be. And uh, you know,
Speaker 3: in terms of normal stuff or intimacy or not. So
Speaker 3: ever you want to do is cool.
Speaker 1: I just need to I need to just have a
Speaker 1: kiss or do something. I need to start. It's been
Speaker 1: so so long. I just don't know how to start,
Speaker 1: and I'm very nervous about it.
Speaker 3: I feel like it's something you can't really forget.
Speaker 2: It's like riding a bike.
Speaker 3: Lott. Yeah, look, here's the only two things. Be safe or.
Speaker 2: Laura's pike still has the training wheels.
Speaker 3: Oh god. Anyways, just be safe and I would say
Speaker 3: be a little less naive don't go up to strange
Speaker 3: men's penthouses without your intention of following through on the
Speaker 3: very implicit and obvious, you know, outcome. If you don't
Speaker 3: want to do it, that's fine, don't do it. If
Speaker 3: you want to do it, that's fine.
Speaker 2: Do it.
Speaker 3: I don't try to split the baby on that one,
Speaker 3: I'd say, though, because that can be bad.
Speaker 2: I recommend that you keep both feet on the floor.
Speaker 2: And if you can't do that, I swear something that
Speaker 2: you can pull off over your head.
Speaker 1: All right, is there anything we can say to end
Speaker 1: this podcast to make me feel a little bit better?
Speaker 1: And everybody else?
Speaker 2: Thank god you didn't get pregnant by two guys over
Speaker 2: Mother's Day weekend.
Speaker 3: Love your podcast.
Speaker 1: I will talk about Mother's Day weekend on Thursday too.
Speaker 1: I love your podcast everybody past. Oh my god, this
Speaker 1: might not be available tomorrow. I may erase it completely.
Speaker 1: That's how I'm feeling. Love you, my sweet babies. Oh