1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,319 Speaker 1: Creativity is an addiction. We have to have it, whether 2 00:00:03,359 --> 00:00:07,080 it's somebody else's creativity or our own creativity. Every breath 3 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:10,400 you take is a creative moment. But do you understand it? 4 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,279 And are you building a relationship up with it unplugged? 5 00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:15,679 Because we will always say yes to creativity totally uncut 6 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:18,120 because we all make mistakes. So turn it into a tool. 7 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:21,079 Speaker 2: This is arrow unplugged, it's zero, and this is d 8 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:24,239 frag out here on this transition walk. That's where we 9 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:27,800 do our defragging, our vocal defragging. But I also am 10 00:00:27,839 --> 00:00:30,320 a d fragger in a journal, so it's two different places. 11 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:37,759 Defragging is asking questions and then questioning the answers. Can 12 00:00:37,799 --> 00:00:39,759 you handle the answers? I always think of my father 13 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:43,399 when I dfrag, and the reason why is because I 14 00:00:43,439 --> 00:00:46,079 don't think my father knew who he was, and he 15 00:00:46,119 --> 00:00:48,920 had every right to think like that because at the 16 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:52,200 age of eighteen, he was in Germany fighting in World 17 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:57,000 War Two, and according to him, through my entire life 18 00:00:57,079 --> 00:01:01,399 I never heard the stories. But on his final moments, 19 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:06,319 he openly admitted to my sister that his anger was 20 00:01:06,359 --> 00:01:10,079 based on one thing. The day that his friend was 21 00:01:10,159 --> 00:01:13,640 killed in that hole, and he said, I never got 22 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,879 over it. And my sister and I have talked about 23 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,400 that so much, and it's one of those things that 24 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,879 if we can do whatever we can to get people 25 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:30,079 to DFRAG, ask the questions, question the answers. This is 26 00:01:30,159 --> 00:01:33,840 d FRAG today, very very heavy subject, very heavy, and 27 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:37,560 it does affect a lot of people because people like people. 28 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,879 We like to hang out with people, We like hanging 29 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,400 out with every people, doesn't matter what you're wearing as 30 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,719 a label as a boss or as an employee. I 31 00:01:45,719 --> 00:01:47,560 don't look at radios being a real world. That's a 32 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:51,560 childhood dream. That's you know, living out your thoughts and 33 00:01:51,599 --> 00:01:54,760 your patterns and your habits as an entertainer. So getting 34 00:01:54,799 --> 00:01:57,719 a real job in customer service that meant I had 35 00:01:57,719 --> 00:02:00,599 to work with real people, real people in the way 36 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:05,560 of managers and co workers and people that come in 37 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:09,639 from the corporate offices and things. And you just sit 38 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,560 there and you go, wow, I missed all of this 39 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,319 and I can't go back and get it back. 40 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:15,439 Speaker 3: Well. 41 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:18,199 Speaker 2: One of my managers was actually one of my students 42 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:21,120 at the School of Broadcasting. He had big dreams just 43 00:02:21,199 --> 00:02:24,759 like I did, and his big dreams turned into a nightmare, 44 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,159 and that's what radio does. A lot of people go 45 00:02:27,199 --> 00:02:29,759 through a lot of radio nightmares. And so he and 46 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:33,800 I have always been great friends. And that was the 47 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,639 two radio guys, great friends. We shared a lot of stories, 48 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:40,319 we listened to each other on our journeys and travels. Well, 49 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:44,719 one day in twenty twenty one, we're talking on the 50 00:02:44,759 --> 00:02:48,000 phone and he says, Man, you make it sound great 51 00:02:48,319 --> 00:02:51,039 where you're at at that grocery store. I said, can 52 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:54,240 I tell you why it is great? Because people are real? 53 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:58,039 I mean, as a radio jock, you know, you just 54 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:01,360 imagine people exist and then but they're right here in 55 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:02,199 front of you. 56 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 3: You would like it. 57 00:03:03,759 --> 00:03:06,400 Speaker 2: Well, he applied for a job, but I didn't realize 58 00:03:06,439 --> 00:03:09,759 that he was going to apply for a managerial job. Well, 59 00:03:09,759 --> 00:03:12,800 then again, I wasn't shocked because he was a manager 60 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:16,080 at Taco Bell for several years and at five Guys 61 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:20,080 and other businesses. So seeing him in that managerial position 62 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:26,639 change things. Uh oh, I use that word change. What's up? 63 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:32,680 Speaker 3: How can two great radio friends face change? Well, here's 64 00:03:32,719 --> 00:03:33,159 what it. 65 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 2: Was, is that as a manager, that meant that he 66 00:03:36,199 --> 00:03:39,319 was now my boss. And for all of those years, 67 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,759 it went from I was his instructor. I was his coach, 68 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:47,120 I was his motivator, and now he was the boss. Well, 69 00:03:47,159 --> 00:03:50,840 you know, I like to be friendly with everybody, bosses included. 70 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:51,719 Speaker 3: Well not really. 71 00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 2: I always try to shy away from them because their 72 00:03:54,159 --> 00:03:56,120 world is none of my business. I don't want to 73 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,159 know their world. And so what's happened for the past 74 00:03:59,199 --> 00:04:03,840 year or so is that this guy and I. 75 00:04:02,759 --> 00:04:04,479 Speaker 3: Have created a gap. 76 00:04:05,159 --> 00:04:07,759 Speaker 2: And I just had the conversation with him today and 77 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,479 I had to do some research on this, because you 78 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,120 know me, when things like this happen, I've got to 79 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:13,879 go in and I've I've got to figure out a 80 00:04:13,919 --> 00:04:18,160 plan and a solution. The gap is is that I 81 00:04:18,199 --> 00:04:21,759 still want to be friends. I still talk to him 82 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:25,120 as a friend. You try to do things as a friend. 83 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,120 You laugh as a friend when you're in the store together. 84 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:31,879 You say things to each other like friends do. And 85 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:35,160 it's things that you know cross the line, but that's 86 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:39,000 what friends do. But you have to remember that in 87 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,920 the end, he's still a manager, he's still the boss. 88 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,439 And so I wrote to him last night in a 89 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:48,079 text message and I told him, I said, I don't 90 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,240 need your corporate answer, but I just think you should 91 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:54,959 know that something major is about to happen and you 92 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,720 should be prepared for it. Well, he wrote to me 93 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:00,480 this morning and said, why do you talk to me 94 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:04,000 like this? And I had to explain to him. I 95 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:07,519 had to put out there the picture. There's a gap. 96 00:05:08,199 --> 00:05:12,480 There's a huge gap. That there are days when you 97 00:05:12,639 --> 00:05:17,000 being a manager gets in the way of being a friend. 98 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:21,160 And I needed to talk to the friend last night 99 00:05:21,959 --> 00:05:25,160 and telling you that I don't need your corporate stuff 100 00:05:26,079 --> 00:05:28,360 was my way of setting up the conversation. Well, it 101 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,079 offinited him, but we talked it out, We really did. 102 00:05:31,199 --> 00:05:33,399 But I had to do some research. And the research 103 00:05:33,519 --> 00:05:39,399 is based on should managers and business leaders be friends 104 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:43,879 with everyday people? And there's two points of direction on this. 105 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:50,519 Some people believe that yes, it builds a better, stronger 106 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:54,279 team for all, not just the two people, the friend 107 00:05:54,319 --> 00:05:57,759 and the manager, but for all because people live off 108 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,759 that camaraderie because they want to be a part of it. 109 00:06:01,079 --> 00:06:04,959 But at the same time, that camaraderie can turn people off, 110 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:08,439 other coworkers off because they're not getting what they got 111 00:06:08,639 --> 00:06:12,560 that you've got. The positive is is that the friendship 112 00:06:12,759 --> 00:06:17,480 is a solid foundation. The negative is is that it 113 00:06:17,519 --> 00:06:21,360 can get in the way of the friendship, which was 114 00:06:21,439 --> 00:06:24,759 the case last night. But then I had the opportunity 115 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:28,240 to reflect. And it's a situation that's been building up 116 00:06:28,279 --> 00:06:33,480 for a while because as a leader in broadcasting, I 117 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,240 knew what team building was all about, because I surrounded 118 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:41,480 myself with people who wanted to be team leaders. And 119 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:44,560 so when I was seeing things on our floor and 120 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,519 I wasn't seeing the right people in the right positions, 121 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:52,120 I began vocalizing and saying, you're doing it wrong. 122 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,680 Speaker 3: Oh, now the employee is. 123 00:06:55,639 --> 00:06:59,519 Speaker 2: Telling the manager that he's doing it wrong, and so 124 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,800 the manager is starting to get a little edgy as 125 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:05,279 well about don't tell me how to do my job. Well, 126 00:07:05,399 --> 00:07:08,079 I'm into team building, and I believe that every person 127 00:07:08,199 --> 00:07:13,079 on the team should be a worker of all four 128 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:16,720 corners of the building. There shouldn't be just one person 129 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:21,040 that does one thing when everybody has the opportunity to 130 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:25,319 do all things. That's the way that I led in radio, 131 00:07:25,839 --> 00:07:27,839 is that you had to become a part of all 132 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:31,600 four corners, because that's how valuable I wanted the upper 133 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:35,480 chalant to find their teams. I didn't want them to think, well, 134 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,399 let's get rid of this person because all they do 135 00:07:37,639 --> 00:07:37,959 is this. 136 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 3: Well, let's get back to that research once again. 137 00:07:41,079 --> 00:07:44,959 Speaker 2: The good is that some people believe that our friendship 138 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:48,319 is what creates a solid foundation and you can build 139 00:07:48,399 --> 00:07:50,439 upon it and reach into areas that you. 140 00:07:50,439 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 4: Quickly do if we were to be completely different, Peeded, 141 00:07:53,199 --> 00:07:56,560 I understand that party. But the negative part of this 142 00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:00,639 entire journey is the fact that any to incurse that 143 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:04,240 has to do with a friendship versus a boss is 144 00:08:04,279 --> 00:08:09,920 what's creating the poison. Where looking at him and saying 145 00:08:09,959 --> 00:08:12,759 I don't like the way you're running this floor. That's 146 00:08:12,839 --> 00:08:15,839 not a good idea, not a good idea because it's 147 00:08:15,879 --> 00:08:19,399 created that gap. Well, I made that gap visible in 148 00:08:19,439 --> 00:08:22,040 a conversation today and it's something that we're going to 149 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:24,199 be working on. But that's what you need to do 150 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:28,000 when whatever department you're running, is that you've got to 151 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:32,080 work together and make sure that the friendship doesn't get 152 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:35,879 in the way of the boss and the employee, nor 153 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,799 can the boss get in the way of the employee. 154 00:08:40,399 --> 00:08:43,480 Because my attitude, maybe it's my ego, I'll give it that. 155 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,919 I'll tell you, I'll call you out, I'll sit there 156 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,399 and say, look, this is not the way we're going 157 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:53,559 to do it, because as a team leader in my division, 158 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,000 this is the way we do things, because once they're 159 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,559 out of the store at a certain time, now it 160 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:02,919 becomes and I know how I run my floor. So 161 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:06,440 I strongly suggest many times that please put these players 162 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:10,080 in positions where we need to have every bit of 163 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,000 their energy utilized in all four corners of the building, 164 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:14,519 which you know how the boss is. 165 00:09:15,279 --> 00:09:16,600 Speaker 3: Don't tell me how to run my floor. 166 00:09:17,759 --> 00:09:21,080 Speaker 2: And even even with the email last night where I said, 167 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:24,159 I don't need your corporate answer on this one, and 168 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,759 he felt a little hurt this morning because I made 169 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:31,639 such a comment like that. So in your own world, 170 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:37,200 as we deprive this, do you want a relationship, a friendship, 171 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:42,120 an ongoing friendship with your boss with those that make 172 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,399 big decisions that you know, in the long run are 173 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:45,399 going to affect you. 174 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 3: Do you want that friendship? 175 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,320 Speaker 2: Especially since this guy and I have been friends for 176 00:09:49,399 --> 00:09:51,559 nearly fifteen years and then all of a sudden we're 177 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:55,200 working together and that friendship has taken a sudden shift. 178 00:09:55,879 --> 00:09:58,320 Speaker 3: How do you protect the leadership. 179 00:09:57,879 --> 00:10:02,279 Speaker 2: Role of the manager and the friendship role at the 180 00:10:02,279 --> 00:10:02,840 same time. 181 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,399 Speaker 3: Is it feasibly possible? So you've got to ask the 182 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,120 questions and then then you got to question and answers. 183 00:10:08,519 --> 00:10:11,559 Speaker 2: Is it important to have this relationship, Yes, it is 184 00:10:11,759 --> 00:10:13,720 very important for me to have this relationship with this 185 00:10:13,759 --> 00:10:16,879 guy because he has been with me since day one 186 00:10:17,039 --> 00:10:19,600 of the podcast staves, has been with me since day 187 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,720 one of the internet radio stations that we created. We've 188 00:10:22,759 --> 00:10:27,159 done so much in radio. Now the goal is to 189 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:31,440 do even more at a grocery store. Because we had 190 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:35,039 that those early days of training to build things in radio. 191 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,440 Why aren't we using the same energy to make our 192 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:43,559 store greater than what it's ever been working together? And 193 00:10:43,639 --> 00:10:46,720 even though that position, that label is something that he's carrying, 194 00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:51,759 in question is is he lowered himself down to what 195 00:10:51,799 --> 00:10:53,440 we used to do as martial artists. One of the 196 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:56,360 big rules, oh big whoopie do do you're a third 197 00:10:56,399 --> 00:11:00,000 degree black belt? Sit right, big whoopy do do? Because 198 00:11:00,399 --> 00:11:03,519 when it comes to training other black belts, and I 199 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:06,080 start with the white belt, and when I work with 200 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:09,120 a white belt, I don't have a black belt attitude. 201 00:11:09,279 --> 00:11:11,639 I'm thinking like a white belt because I know where 202 00:11:11,639 --> 00:11:14,240 they are. I have lived that lifestyle and I don't 203 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,320 want to scare them away. But would I develop a 204 00:11:17,399 --> 00:11:21,360 friendship with a white belt, Sure I did. I didn't 205 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,200 have a drinking buddy. I didn't have anything like that. 206 00:11:23,279 --> 00:11:25,799 I wasn't interested in that. So as long as we 207 00:11:25,799 --> 00:11:29,360 were in that class, I would have a friendship conversation 208 00:11:30,279 --> 00:11:32,559 out on the street. Sure I would have a conversation, 209 00:11:33,279 --> 00:11:36,360 but it wouldn't be in the way of saying, Hey, 210 00:11:36,399 --> 00:11:38,200 come on over and let's watch the super Bowl. 211 00:11:38,879 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 3: It would happened. 212 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:43,039 Speaker 2: I've never been that personality. So the thing is is 213 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:46,879 that you've got to be what type of leader? Asked 214 00:11:46,919 --> 00:11:50,000 the question who do you want to be as a leader? 215 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:55,320 More importantly, who do you want to be as an employee? 216 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,600 And we've talked about this many times. I don't walk 217 00:11:58,639 --> 00:12:01,559 into that store in a great movie, but I know 218 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:06,480 that my attitude and the energy that I carry. If 219 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:09,360 I go in there with a negative ass attitude, They're 220 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,519 going to pick up on it, and now I've screwed 221 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:15,919 up their day, the guests, my co workers, it's all 222 00:12:15,919 --> 00:12:19,519 in the attitude that as you build that attitude and 223 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:23,000 you have to wear those stupid labels. There's something to 224 00:12:23,039 --> 00:12:28,559 it when I say that friendship is always greater than 225 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,840 a business leader. I understand it. You have to have 226 00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:35,159 the business leaders, but you also not to have the friendship. 227 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:40,200 I've been married for thirty years. For thirty years, I've 228 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:44,159 always called my wife my best friend. She and I 229 00:12:44,159 --> 00:12:48,240 have had that conversation for thirty years. Look, you're my 230 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,639 best friend first, and I will always introduce you as such. 231 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:54,399 By the way, if it sounds like I'm winded right now, 232 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:58,080 one day I invite you to come to this force 233 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,360 in South Charlotte, North Carolina, and. 234 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:01,840 Speaker 3: You got to walk this hill with me. It's called 235 00:13:01,879 --> 00:13:04,879 Heartbreak Hill. Oh my god. 236 00:13:05,279 --> 00:13:07,080 Speaker 2: I've been going up and down this hill for thirty 237 00:13:07,159 --> 00:13:10,879 years and it still kicks my ass. It doesn't matter 238 00:13:10,919 --> 00:13:12,759 how many times a day I come up and down 239 00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:17,600 this hill. But you know, it's that friendship that I 240 00:13:17,639 --> 00:13:22,399 have with myself out here. I'm a manager, I'm a leader. 241 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:26,919 When I get inside the soul, I spook friend. 242 00:13:27,639 --> 00:13:34,320 Speaker 3: What about you? That's the question, answeringly, answers my marrow, 243 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:35,000 And that's Steve Ray.