Speaker 1: Creativity is an addiction. We have to have it, whether
it's somebody else's creativity or our own creativity. Every breath
you take is a creative moment. But do you understand it?
And are you building a relationship up with it unplugged?
Because we will always say yes to creativity totally uncut
because we all make mistakes. So turn it into a tool.
Speaker 2: This is arrow unplugged, it's zero, and this is d
frag out here on this transition walk. That's where we
do our defragging, our vocal defragging. But I also am
a d fragger in a journal, so it's two different places.
Defragging is asking questions and then questioning the answers. Can
you handle the answers? I always think of my father
when I dfrag, and the reason why is because I
don't think my father knew who he was, and he
had every right to think like that because at the
age of eighteen, he was in Germany fighting in World
War Two, and according to him, through my entire life
I never heard the stories. But on his final moments,
he openly admitted to my sister that his anger was
based on one thing. The day that his friend was
killed in that hole, and he said, I never got
over it. And my sister and I have talked about
that so much, and it's one of those things that
if we can do whatever we can to get people
to DFRAG, ask the questions, question the answers. This is
d FRAG today, very very heavy subject, very heavy, and
it does affect a lot of people because people like people.
We like to hang out with people, We like hanging
out with every people, doesn't matter what you're wearing as
a label as a boss or as an employee. I
don't look at radios being a real world. That's a
childhood dream. That's you know, living out your thoughts and
your patterns and your habits as an entertainer. So getting
a real job in customer service that meant I had
to work with real people, real people in the way
of managers and co workers and people that come in
from the corporate offices and things. And you just sit
there and you go, wow, I missed all of this
and I can't go back and get it back.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 2: One of my managers was actually one of my students
at the School of Broadcasting. He had big dreams just
like I did, and his big dreams turned into a nightmare,
and that's what radio does. A lot of people go
through a lot of radio nightmares. And so he and
I have always been great friends. And that was the
two radio guys, great friends. We shared a lot of stories,
we listened to each other on our journeys and travels. Well,
one day in twenty twenty one, we're talking on the
phone and he says, Man, you make it sound great
where you're at at that grocery store. I said, can
I tell you why it is great? Because people are real?
I mean, as a radio jock, you know, you just
imagine people exist and then but they're right here in
front of you.
Speaker 3: You would like it.
Speaker 2: Well, he applied for a job, but I didn't realize
that he was going to apply for a managerial job. Well,
then again, I wasn't shocked because he was a manager
at Taco Bell for several years and at five Guys
and other businesses. So seeing him in that managerial position
change things. Uh oh, I use that word change. What's up?
Speaker 3: How can two great radio friends face change? Well, here's
what it.
Speaker 2: Was, is that as a manager, that meant that he
was now my boss. And for all of those years,
it went from I was his instructor. I was his coach,
I was his motivator, and now he was the boss. Well,
you know, I like to be friendly with everybody, bosses included.
Speaker 3: Well not really.
Speaker 2: I always try to shy away from them because their
world is none of my business. I don't want to
know their world. And so what's happened for the past
year or so is that this guy and I.
Speaker 3: Have created a gap.
Speaker 2: And I just had the conversation with him today and
I had to do some research on this, because you
know me, when things like this happen, I've got to
go in and I've I've got to figure out a
plan and a solution. The gap is is that I
still want to be friends. I still talk to him
as a friend. You try to do things as a friend.
You laugh as a friend when you're in the store together.
You say things to each other like friends do. And
it's things that you know cross the line, but that's
what friends do. But you have to remember that in
the end, he's still a manager, he's still the boss.
And so I wrote to him last night in a
text message and I told him, I said, I don't
need your corporate answer, but I just think you should
know that something major is about to happen and you
should be prepared for it. Well, he wrote to me
this morning and said, why do you talk to me
like this? And I had to explain to him. I
had to put out there the picture. There's a gap.
There's a huge gap. That there are days when you
being a manager gets in the way of being a friend.
And I needed to talk to the friend last night
and telling you that I don't need your corporate stuff
was my way of setting up the conversation. Well, it
offinited him, but we talked it out, We really did.
But I had to do some research. And the research
is based on should managers and business leaders be friends
with everyday people? And there's two points of direction on this.
Some people believe that yes, it builds a better, stronger
team for all, not just the two people, the friend
and the manager, but for all because people live off
that camaraderie because they want to be a part of it.
But at the same time, that camaraderie can turn people off,
other coworkers off because they're not getting what they got
that you've got. The positive is is that the friendship
is a solid foundation. The negative is is that it
can get in the way of the friendship, which was
the case last night. But then I had the opportunity
to reflect. And it's a situation that's been building up
for a while because as a leader in broadcasting, I
knew what team building was all about, because I surrounded
myself with people who wanted to be team leaders. And
so when I was seeing things on our floor and
I wasn't seeing the right people in the right positions,
I began vocalizing and saying, you're doing it wrong.
Speaker 3: Oh, now the employee is.
Speaker 2: Telling the manager that he's doing it wrong, and so
the manager is starting to get a little edgy as
well about don't tell me how to do my job. Well,
I'm into team building, and I believe that every person
on the team should be a worker of all four
corners of the building. There shouldn't be just one person
that does one thing when everybody has the opportunity to
do all things. That's the way that I led in radio,
is that you had to become a part of all
four corners, because that's how valuable I wanted the upper
chalant to find their teams. I didn't want them to think, well,
let's get rid of this person because all they do
is this.
Speaker 3: Well, let's get back to that research once again.
Speaker 2: The good is that some people believe that our friendship
is what creates a solid foundation and you can build
upon it and reach into areas that you.
Speaker 4: Quickly do if we were to be completely different, Peeded,
I understand that party. But the negative part of this
entire journey is the fact that any to incurse that
has to do with a friendship versus a boss is
what's creating the poison. Where looking at him and saying
I don't like the way you're running this floor. That's
not a good idea, not a good idea because it's
created that gap. Well, I made that gap visible in
a conversation today and it's something that we're going to
be working on. But that's what you need to do
when whatever department you're running, is that you've got to
work together and make sure that the friendship doesn't get
in the way of the boss and the employee, nor
can the boss get in the way of the employee.
Because my attitude, maybe it's my ego, I'll give it that.
I'll tell you, I'll call you out, I'll sit there
and say, look, this is not the way we're going
to do it, because as a team leader in my division,
this is the way we do things, because once they're
out of the store at a certain time, now it
becomes and I know how I run my floor. So
I strongly suggest many times that please put these players
in positions where we need to have every bit of
their energy utilized in all four corners of the building,
which you know how the boss is.
Speaker 3: Don't tell me how to run my floor.
Speaker 2: And even even with the email last night where I said,
I don't need your corporate answer on this one, and
he felt a little hurt this morning because I made
such a comment like that. So in your own world,
as we deprive this, do you want a relationship, a friendship,
an ongoing friendship with your boss with those that make
big decisions that you know, in the long run are
going to affect you.
Speaker 3: Do you want that friendship?
Speaker 2: Especially since this guy and I have been friends for
nearly fifteen years and then all of a sudden we're
working together and that friendship has taken a sudden shift.
Speaker 3: How do you protect the leadership.
Speaker 2: Role of the manager and the friendship role at the
same time.
Speaker 3: Is it feasibly possible? So you've got to ask the
questions and then then you got to question and answers.
Speaker 2: Is it important to have this relationship, Yes, it is
very important for me to have this relationship with this
guy because he has been with me since day one
of the podcast staves, has been with me since day
one of the internet radio stations that we created. We've
done so much in radio. Now the goal is to
do even more at a grocery store. Because we had
that those early days of training to build things in radio.
Why aren't we using the same energy to make our
store greater than what it's ever been working together? And
even though that position, that label is something that he's carrying,
in question is is he lowered himself down to what
we used to do as martial artists. One of the
big rules, oh big whoopie do do you're a third
degree black belt? Sit right, big whoopy do do? Because
when it comes to training other black belts, and I
start with the white belt, and when I work with
a white belt, I don't have a black belt attitude.
I'm thinking like a white belt because I know where
they are. I have lived that lifestyle and I don't
want to scare them away. But would I develop a
friendship with a white belt, Sure I did. I didn't
have a drinking buddy. I didn't have anything like that.
I wasn't interested in that. So as long as we
were in that class, I would have a friendship conversation
out on the street. Sure I would have a conversation,
but it wouldn't be in the way of saying, Hey,
come on over and let's watch the super Bowl.
Speaker 3: It would happened.
Speaker 2: I've never been that personality. So the thing is is
that you've got to be what type of leader? Asked
the question who do you want to be as a leader?
More importantly, who do you want to be as an employee?
And we've talked about this many times. I don't walk
into that store in a great movie, but I know
that my attitude and the energy that I carry. If
I go in there with a negative ass attitude, They're
going to pick up on it, and now I've screwed
up their day, the guests, my co workers, it's all
in the attitude that as you build that attitude and
you have to wear those stupid labels. There's something to
it when I say that friendship is always greater than
a business leader. I understand it. You have to have
the business leaders, but you also not to have the friendship.
I've been married for thirty years. For thirty years, I've
always called my wife my best friend. She and I
have had that conversation for thirty years. Look, you're my
best friend first, and I will always introduce you as such.
By the way, if it sounds like I'm winded right now,
one day I invite you to come to this force
in South Charlotte, North Carolina, and.
Speaker 3: You got to walk this hill with me. It's called
Heartbreak Hill. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: I've been going up and down this hill for thirty
years and it still kicks my ass. It doesn't matter
how many times a day I come up and down
this hill. But you know, it's that friendship that I
have with myself out here. I'm a manager, I'm a leader.
When I get inside the soul, I spook friend.
Speaker 3: What about you? That's the question, answeringly, answers my marrow,
And that's Steve Ray.