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<v Speaker 1>Jesse Kelly Show. Let's have some fun on a Tuesday,

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<v Speaker 1>a magnificent Tuesday, and all we have so much for

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<v Speaker 1>you tonight. First of all, we're getting closer to Japan.

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<v Speaker 1>Not that I'm gonna talk about that much or even

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<v Speaker 1>probably at all, but I think that's really cool. We'll

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<v Speaker 1>discuss that briefly tonight on the show. We are going

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<v Speaker 1>to talk a little bit in the opening here in

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<v Speaker 1>just a minute or so, about the difference in how

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<v Speaker 1>you vote versus many foreign peoples throughout history. We'll talk

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<v Speaker 1>about that there's a big difference that people don't realize.

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<v Speaker 1>We're gonna talk about Democrats potentially reaching the end of

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<v Speaker 1>the line with the shutdown stuff, the Hitler stuff, a

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<v Speaker 1>Confederate statue is going back up. You're gonna be shocked

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<v Speaker 1>to find out there's turbulence in the middle of a hurricane,

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<v Speaker 1>Communists sending over female spies to seduce tech nerds, all

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<v Speaker 1>that emails and so much more coming up tonight on

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<v Speaker 1>the world famous Jesse Kelly Show. Now, the first I'm

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<v Speaker 1>gonna do this, I'm gonna do a little experiment. Let's

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<v Speaker 1>say let's say twenty twenty eight is over jd Vance

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<v Speaker 1>is one. Let's just assume we're going that way. You

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<v Speaker 1>know what. Let's let's fast forward all the way. We

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<v Speaker 1>just got done with two terms of Jdvans. All right,

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<v Speaker 1>it's all the way to twenty thirty six, two terms

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<v Speaker 1>of Jdvans. Now, I put somebody in front of you,

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<v Speaker 1>and this is someone I put in front of you.

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<v Speaker 1>What you know what. They're with you on taxes, they

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<v Speaker 1>are with you on the border, whatever you want done

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<v Speaker 1>on the border. They share those values everything from pro

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<v Speaker 1>life regulations, energy policy, foreign policy. They align with you.

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<v Speaker 1>They are with you and want what you want. Let

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<v Speaker 1>me ask you, would you vote for that person? Obviously,

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<v Speaker 1>probably rolling your eyes, it's a pretty obvious point, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>of course. But I didn't tell you what they looked like.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't tell you if they were tall, short, skinny, fat.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't tell you their religion. I didn't tell you

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<v Speaker 1>their skin color I told I didn't tell you their sex.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't say if it was a male or female.

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<v Speaker 1>And you just said you would vote for that person. Why, Well,

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<v Speaker 1>this may seem like an obvious point. Believe me, it

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<v Speaker 1>is not. Though you vote for the person who will

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<v Speaker 1>implement the policies you want implemented. That is how you vote. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe you're shrugging your shoulders and saying, well, yeah, but

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<v Speaker 1>this is my point. You don't understand that's unique. You,

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<v Speaker 1>in the history of politics, in the history of the world,

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<v Speaker 1>are unique in that regard. The American right is unique

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<v Speaker 1>in that regard. We have in our DNA courtesy of

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<v Speaker 1>the founding of this country. We have a natural distrust

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<v Speaker 1>of government, even if maybe you're a little more big

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<v Speaker 1>government in this area, or maybe I am in that area,

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<v Speaker 1>although I don't think I am in any area, but

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<v Speaker 1>maybe we differ on things, there's no question about it.

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<v Speaker 1>But we have a natural distrust of government. And we

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<v Speaker 1>don't run to the government with our hands out. That's

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<v Speaker 1>not how we operate. We don't. Even if we do,

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<v Speaker 1>we're kind of ashamed of that and kind of hide

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<v Speaker 1>that fact. That's not how we look at government. You

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<v Speaker 1>and I. We do not look at the people we

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<v Speaker 1>elect as people who will give us this or give

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<v Speaker 1>us that, And in general, we do not look at

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<v Speaker 1>them as people we can purely relate to. I made

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<v Speaker 1>up this totally fictional candidate for twenty thirty six, and

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<v Speaker 1>you said you would vote for them. And I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>even tell you what they looked like. I told you

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<v Speaker 1>nothing about them, and you said you would vote for

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<v Speaker 1>them because what they look like, what their religion is,

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<v Speaker 1>what their skin color is not a priority for you.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not how you vote, it's not how I vote.

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<v Speaker 1>I would never in a million years look at ten

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<v Speaker 1>candidates on stage doing a debate and make my decision

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<v Speaker 1>on who to support based on whether they're tall or short,

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<v Speaker 1>or skinny or fat, or white or black. That would

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<v Speaker 1>never occur to me, and it would generally never occur

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<v Speaker 1>to you. But the point is that is insanely unique.

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<v Speaker 1>And in fact, we're going to go to this New

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<v Speaker 1>York City race which I touched on a little bit

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<v Speaker 1>last night, to make this important point. Why why is

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<v Speaker 1>it that American born New Yorkers completely reject this communist

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<v Speaker 1>and foreign born New Yorkers love him, absolutely love him.

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<v Speaker 1>Let me tell you how peoples around the planet vote,

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<v Speaker 1>and not just now, historically, how peoples many peoples. I

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<v Speaker 1>would probably say most people around the planet have historically voted.

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<v Speaker 1>They vote on the two te's two te's. You ready,

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<v Speaker 1>first transactionally in American politics. If I was running for

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<v Speaker 1>president and I stood up right now and I gave

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<v Speaker 1>a speech in front of you, and I said, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>you vote for me, vote for Jesse Kelly. And you

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<v Speaker 1>know what if you vote for me, If you vote

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<v Speaker 1>for me, if you put me in office, I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to build you a brand new school and I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to send you a thousand dollars check in the mail.

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<v Speaker 1>You would be grossed out, wouldn't you. No, I'm sure

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<v Speaker 1>you would like a thousand dollar check in the mail.

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<v Speaker 1>We all would. But wouldn't that seem gross? Even though

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<v Speaker 1>we know politicians try to do that, It would seem

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<v Speaker 1>gross if I just stood up and said, hey, new school,

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<v Speaker 1>thousand dollars check, that would seem gross to you. But

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<v Speaker 1>peoples around the world that's exactly how they vote, and

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<v Speaker 1>the politicians themselves, they run for office on these platforms

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<v Speaker 1>purely transactionally. You vote for me, I will give you this.

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<v Speaker 1>How in the world can the next mayor of New

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<v Speaker 1>York City get up and give a speech like this

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<v Speaker 1>and get elected?

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<v Speaker 2>Here is what we stand for, my friends. We are

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<v Speaker 2>going to freeze the rent for more than two million

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<v Speaker 2>rent stabilized tenants and use every resource at our disposal

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<v Speaker 2>to build housing for everyone who needs it. We are

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<v Speaker 2>going to eliminate the fair on every single bus line.

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<v Speaker 1>Purely transactional. He's open about it because he understands the

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<v Speaker 1>foreigners who have poured into New York City. That's how

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<v Speaker 1>they vote, purely transactional, totally different than any way you vote.

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<v Speaker 1>How could they be We have a hard time understanding.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't they understand? It will get it will get dirtier,

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<v Speaker 1>it'll be there'll be worse crime that, there will be this,

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<v Speaker 1>This won't work, taxes will grow up. Don't they understand.

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<v Speaker 1>People from around the world do not vote like you.

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<v Speaker 1>They do not vote with the values you vote with.

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<v Speaker 1>People around the world from so many cultures, from most cultures,

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<v Speaker 1>they vote on the two teas. Now I just said one.

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<v Speaker 1>The first one is transactional, purely actional, vote for me.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll give you this period. The second part is tribal.

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<v Speaker 1>That's how people from around the planet and American Democrats

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<v Speaker 1>vote this way in large part two. Now that the

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<v Speaker 1>Communist revolution is these different groups. But we're going to

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<v Speaker 1>make this about foreigners for now. We'll come back domestically

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<v Speaker 1>in a moment, purely tribal. If I told you right now,

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<v Speaker 1>the next election. I'm voting for whoever's white. That would

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<v Speaker 1>be kind of a turnoff, right, Not only would it

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<v Speaker 1>be weird and stupid, it would be kind of a turnoff.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm only voting for the white guy. I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to see any black people up there. There better not

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<v Speaker 1>be any Mexicans, only the white guy. That's who I

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<v Speaker 1>vote for. White, I vote for my skin color. Period.

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<v Speaker 1>That would be weird and dumb and not good. But

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<v Speaker 1>that's how people around the planet vote all the time,

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<v Speaker 1>all the time. What why is ma'm Donnie? Why is

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<v Speaker 1>he up there telling fake nine to eleven?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I was speaking about my aunt. I was speaking

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<v Speaker 2>about Santa Fue, my father's cousin you sadly passed away

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<v Speaker 2>a few years ago.

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<v Speaker 1>That was the wrong button. This is the fake nine

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<v Speaker 1>to eleventh story. That was his uh. That was his

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<v Speaker 1>little attempt at saving face after he lied about this.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to use this moment to speak to the

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<v Speaker 2>Muslims of New York City.

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<v Speaker 3>Hmm.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to speak to the memory of my aunt,

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<v Speaker 2>who stopped taking the subway after September eleventh because she

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<v Speaker 2>did not feel safe in her hit Jab.

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<v Speaker 1>Why I give that speech because New York city has

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<v Speaker 1>over a million Muslims, and and Ma'am Donnie is under

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<v Speaker 1>the impression they're going to vote for him because he

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<v Speaker 1>is one. And the poll numbers say that's true. And

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<v Speaker 1>this is not unique, by the way, to Muslims, foreigners

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<v Speaker 1>from around the planet, they vote tribally. What why do

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<v Speaker 1>the what are the people in Minneapolis now routinely put

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<v Speaker 1>Somali candidates up? Samali foreigners vote for Somali's transactionally and tribally.

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<v Speaker 1>If you sit and scratch your head at why any

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<v Speaker 1>group would vote for this person or that person anywhere.

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<v Speaker 1>People don't share your values, people who don't share your

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<v Speaker 1>DNA and your values, they vote for the two teas,

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<v Speaker 1>transactional and tribal. We'll deal with the domestic aspect of

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<v Speaker 1>this in just a moment, and then we'll move on cities.

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<v Speaker 1>The Jesse Kelly Show on a wonderful, wonderful Tuesday. Remember

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<v Speaker 1>you can email us and we'll get to a bunch

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<v Speaker 1>of those tonight, Jesse at Jesse kellyshow dot com. You

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<v Speaker 1>find it bizarre how we can import foreign peoples from

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<v Speaker 1>different cultures and they will vote for things that don't

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<v Speaker 1>make any sense. They simply don't make any sense. How

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<v Speaker 1>is it that all these foreigners in New York City

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<v Speaker 1>are getting ready to elect a communist. They don't vote

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<v Speaker 1>like you vote. They vote for the two teas, transactional

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<v Speaker 1>and tribal. Why do you think how many times have

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<v Speaker 1>we had this discussion? Why do you think the globalist

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<v Speaker 1>communists who run Western civilization for the most part, why

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<v Speaker 1>do you think they've been on a decade's long mission

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<v Speaker 1>to fill up every country where they lead with as

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<v Speaker 1>many foreigners as humanly possible. Why do you think that

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<v Speaker 1>is because they understand perfectly well. You you the patriotic American.

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<v Speaker 1>You you don't get bought, you can't be purchased. It's

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<v Speaker 1>not transactional for you, and it's not tribal for you. You

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<v Speaker 1>don't care about how tall or short, or white or

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<v Speaker 1>black or someone is. These are not how you vote.

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<v Speaker 1>If I put you in Virginia today, maybe you're in Virginia.

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<v Speaker 1>If I put you in Virginia today, you would vote

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<v Speaker 1>for Winsome Seers over Abigail Spamberger. Why Abigail Spamberger is

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<v Speaker 1>as white as snow Winso Seers as black. You don't care.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't care that the thought would never cross your mind.

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<v Speaker 1>But foreign peoples do care from all over the world,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's exactly how they vote, exactly how they vote

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<v Speaker 1>tribal and of course remember transactional. In countries around the world.

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<v Speaker 1>It is not abnormal to have politicians run for office

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<v Speaker 1>with specific promises of specific handouts to certain groups and

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<v Speaker 1>certain neighborhoods in certain areas. Elect me and I'll give

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<v Speaker 1>you this. These are not considered dirty, abnormal things in

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<v Speaker 1>places around the planet. This is how you run for office.

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<v Speaker 1>This is how you achieve office. This goes back to

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, honestly, all of history. You can look at

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<v Speaker 1>if you ever really feel like nerding out on his

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<v Speaker 1>historical stuff. You know something wild, go look at the

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<v Speaker 1>Roman days. Roman elections, because they had to stand for elections,

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<v Speaker 1>they'd flat out get up and say, hey, if you're

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<v Speaker 1>a veteran, we're going to give you three acres. You

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<v Speaker 1>vote for me, you got three acres coming. This is

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<v Speaker 1>just how politics has been done historically. We're just not

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<v Speaker 1>used to it because that's not how you vote, and

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<v Speaker 1>that's not how you want to vote, and that's not

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<v Speaker 1>how I vote. How can you get up and give

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<v Speaker 1>a speech like this and get elected mayor because you've

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<v Speaker 1>filled up the city with foreigners. Here is what we

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<v Speaker 1>stand for, my friends.

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<v Speaker 2>We are going to freeze the rent for more than

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<v Speaker 2>two million rent stabilized tenants and use every resource at

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<v Speaker 2>our disposal to build housing for everyone who needs it.

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<v Speaker 2>We are going to eliminate the fair on every single

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<v Speaker 2>bus line.

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<v Speaker 1>But that won't work. That's that's socialism. That'll raise taxes,

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<v Speaker 1>but that won't what that The foreigners they brought in

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<v Speaker 1>don't care about socialism. They don't care about freedom, care

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<v Speaker 1>about the constitution. That's not their culture. That's not what

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<v Speaker 1>they care about at all. Free rent sounds good. Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I ride the bus every day. I'd like that free too.

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<v Speaker 1>You're gonna give me it? Okay, free sounds good? Sign

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<v Speaker 1>me up. Why do you think the communists brought in

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<v Speaker 1>so many? Why do you think the Biden administration completely

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<v Speaker 1>unencumbered by a president who had a brain the communists

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<v Speaker 1>inside of the Bid administration. Why do you do you

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<v Speaker 1>think priority one get the border open? Open it sue

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<v Speaker 1>to make sure the border wall can't be built. Not

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<v Speaker 1>only open it, fly as many foreigners into the United

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<v Speaker 1>States of America as possible. Remember that one story we

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<v Speaker 1>did where there was an Ohio town that had about

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<v Speaker 1>two thousand people in it, and the Biden administration brought

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<v Speaker 1>two thousand Haitians in completely replace the town, just replace

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<v Speaker 1>the town. Why, well, guess how those two thousand Haitians

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<v Speaker 1>are going to vote. They're going to vote differently than

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<v Speaker 1>the two thousand Ohioans who were there beforehand. They're going

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<v Speaker 1>to vote tribal and they're going to vote transactional. Why

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<v Speaker 1>do you think this has been the plan for years

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<v Speaker 1>in years in years in years because it cuts you

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<v Speaker 1>out of the equation. They're tired of hearing about freedom

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<v Speaker 1>and the Constitution and limits on government. These sick freaks

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<v Speaker 1>just want to burn down the country and rule over

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<v Speaker 1>the ashes. And you pesky patriotic American, you won't let

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<v Speaker 1>them do it, but you know who will click click

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<v Speaker 1>and beep beep. They just brought him and his thirty

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<v Speaker 1>five family members into the country and they're handing him

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<v Speaker 1>a welfare check and free bus fair and they're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>hand him this, and they're gonna hand him that and click,

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<v Speaker 1>click and beep beep. Have never heard of Thomas Jefferson.

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<v Speaker 1>They don't care about the Constitution They don't know anything

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<v Speaker 1>about communism or socialism where taxes are spending, and they

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<v Speaker 1>couldn't possibly care less. All they want is some money

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<v Speaker 1>for an extra set of sandals and maybe a toothbrush

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<v Speaker 1>for everybody to share. That's the only thing they care

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<v Speaker 1>about at all. Don't vote like you vote, and that's

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<v Speaker 1>why they brought them here. No, I will finally wrap

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<v Speaker 1>up this point and we'll move on. It is Jesse

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<v Speaker 1>Kelly Show on a Tuesday, so let me finish this

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<v Speaker 1>up here. I wanted to finish this email that I

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<v Speaker 1>got to right before the break here from Sherry Jesse.

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<v Speaker 1>My husband is one of the hero first responders that

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<v Speaker 1>was at Ground zero after nine to eleven. He now

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<v Speaker 1>suffers with nine to eleven related illness and will deal

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<v Speaker 1>with it for the rest of his life. He always

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<v Speaker 1>said he would do it all over again. I was

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<v Speaker 1>in Manhattan during nine to eleven and that experience changed

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<v Speaker 1>me forever. I am furious that twenty four years later,

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<v Speaker 1>New York City will relect that third world crapholer. I am, however,

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<v Speaker 1>optimist in optimist, and I am hoping a year after

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<v Speaker 1>his garbage rule, it will deliver us New York City

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<v Speaker 1>or a New York GOP governor. Well, I am hopeful too,

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<v Speaker 1>but I want to also clarify something. And she makes

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<v Speaker 1>a great point, and I'm hopeful as well. I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to clarify something. The reason you bring in hostile, disloyal

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<v Speaker 1>foreigners in mass is to insulate yourself from having to

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<v Speaker 1>suffer consequences for policies that are disastrous and failed. This

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<v Speaker 1>is a mistake people on the right make, and I

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<v Speaker 1>want to explain it over and over and over again.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's let's let's step away from New York for a moment.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's go to Chicago, Chicago, if you've never been, in fact,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going very soon. It's a work thing. Chicago is

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<v Speaker 1>so cool, the potential of Chicago is just so cool.

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<v Speaker 1>And I've had a great time in Chicago before. But

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<v Speaker 1>Chicago has absolutely been ravaged by corruption for decades. This

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<v Speaker 1>goes back, honestly, decades decades of of the mafia involvement

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<v Speaker 1>in their local government is something that was well known,

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<v Speaker 1>but that there mayor used to go golf with the

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<v Speaker 1>Chicago outfit. I mean it probably still does for all

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<v Speaker 1>I know, But the corruption crime, decades of it, decades

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<v Speaker 1>of it. They have never even come close to switch

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<v Speaker 1>in from voting Democrat and voting for a Republican. They've

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<v Speaker 1>never even come close. Now, the point of bringing in

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<v Speaker 1>foreigners to collaborate with domestic communists is there will never, ever, ever,

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<v Speaker 1>ever ever be a time when things have gotten so

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<v Speaker 1>bad they will consider voting in a different way. That's

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<v Speaker 1>not how they vote. It doesn't work that way. If

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<v Speaker 1>you bring in people to collaborate with your domestic terrorists,

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<v Speaker 1>they will vote for destruction for ever. That is the problem.

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<v Speaker 1>If you truly want to save these hostile foreign cities

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<v Speaker 1>states that reside inside of our borders, you have to

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<v Speaker 1>deport people. And I've got some bad news for you. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>it may be bad news, maybe you'll get it. It's

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<v Speaker 1>not just the murderers, it's not just the rapists. It's

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<v Speaker 1>not just the guy from Guatemala with a rap sheet

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<v Speaker 1>as long as a CVS receipt. If you truly want

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<v Speaker 1>to save American cities, you are going to have to

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<v Speaker 1>take every single person who came here illegally and deport them,

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<v Speaker 1>every single one, men, women, children. Why do you think

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<v Speaker 1>California used to be read and now it's just this

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<v Speaker 1>solid blue wall disaster and the poor people who live there,

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<v Speaker 1>who are stuck there, who can't get out, suffer. Why

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<v Speaker 1>do you think that is foreigners? They let them all

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<v Speaker 1>come in and now the people are outnumbered. There are

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<v Speaker 1>more Republicans in California than any other state in the Union.

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<v Speaker 1>They have no representation at the state level whatsoever. I

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<v Speaker 1>realize they have some numbers in the state legislature, but

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<v Speaker 1>nothing close to a majority, and for the foreseeable future

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<v Speaker 1>they never will. But I don't understand. Crime is high,

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<v Speaker 1>taxes are high, fees are high. Don't people learn not

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<v Speaker 1>people who are transactional and tribal. They don't. People who

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<v Speaker 1>are transactional and tribal now will always be transactional and tribal.

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<v Speaker 1>You want them to wake up and learn, but they won't.

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<v Speaker 1>And when they collaborate with our domestic communists with Democrats.

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<v Speaker 1>Remember Democrats want everyone to suffer. The idea is to

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<v Speaker 1>burn everything down. That's what they want. It's not like

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<v Speaker 1>it can get so bad. They're going to say, Wow,

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<v Speaker 1>I wish it wasn't like this. I'll vote Republican. Now

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<v Speaker 1>that's the whole idea, burning down the country you hate.

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<v Speaker 1>But back to what I was discussing. We are going

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<v Speaker 1>to have to deport people, all of them, and we're

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<v Speaker 1>going to have to take it a step further. We

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<v Speaker 1>are going to have to denaturalize people and deport them too.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable with it. You cannot fill

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<v Speaker 1>up your country with foreigners like this and can continue

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<v Speaker 1>on as a nation. You will lose parts of your

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<v Speaker 1>country if you allow foreigners like this to stay.

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<v Speaker 4>America is the genesis of what we call settler colonialism,

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<v Speaker 4>and the American model was exported all around the world.

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<v Speaker 4>Abraham Lincoln generalized the solution of reservations. They herded American

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<v Speaker 4>Indians into separate territories for the Nazis. This was the inspiration.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you heard it the other downy to play it

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<v Speaker 1>all right? Now, why do you think, well, here's the headline,

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<v Speaker 1>Soro's fingerprints found all over the rise of democratic socialist

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<v Speaker 1>Zoron Mamdani. Why do you think all these hostile foreigners

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<v Speaker 1>have spent billions of dollars to bring in as many

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<v Speaker 1>of these people as possible and then fund them on.

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<v Speaker 1>Why do you think that is this is all part

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<v Speaker 1>of the planned destruction of the United States of America

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<v Speaker 1>and if we're being fair, it's not only foreigners who

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<v Speaker 1>are transactional and tribal America's communists are as well. I

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<v Speaker 1>played this clip for you the other day. I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>play it again. Gavin Newsom's already running for president in

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<v Speaker 1>twenty twenty eight. He has to do this thing where

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<v Speaker 1>he has to pretend like he hasn't decided yet, as

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<v Speaker 1>if he hasn't dreamt of this moment forever. And so

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<v Speaker 1>he's already bouncing around the podcast scene because he watched

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<v Speaker 1>Donald Trump bounce around the podcast scene gathering up as

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<v Speaker 1>many votes as possible. He goes on an NBA podcast

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<v Speaker 1>and blatantly panned is lying through his teeth? Why why

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<v Speaker 1>would you be so obvious about the pandora?

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<v Speaker 3>But also, you know, it was also about paying the bills, man,

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<v Speaker 3>and it was just like hustling, and and so I

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<v Speaker 3>was out there kind of raising myself, turning on the

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<v Speaker 3>TV started, you know, just getting obsessed, you know, sitting

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<v Speaker 3>there with the you know, the wonderbread and five stacks

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<v Speaker 3>of you.

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<v Speaker 1>Know, like the white come on.

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<v Speaker 3>Every day every day in the backyard, just bouncing the basketball,

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<v Speaker 3>throwing the ball against the wall until the ball is

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<v Speaker 3>just like fraying man, and you're.

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<v Speaker 2>Talking to you.

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<v Speaker 1>That's it whole thing, hey man, just hustling, just out

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<v Speaker 1>there hustling yo, wonderbread and mac and cheek and playing hoops,

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<v Speaker 1>just hooping it up. That's all fake. They know it's fake.

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<v Speaker 1>Everyone listening knows it's fake. Know it's Fakesome knows it's fake.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what they want, transactional tribal. Hey man, wonder bread,

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<v Speaker 1>just a hustle of wonder bread.

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<v Speaker 2>Yo.

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<v Speaker 1>You got you want to play some hoops? Remember when

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<v Speaker 1>Pete boudhah Jedge, trying to get the black vote, went

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<v Speaker 1>and got a forty forty ounce of beer in a

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<v Speaker 1>brown paper bag, I kid you not, and drank it

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<v Speaker 1>with some black dudes in the hood. There's a video

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<v Speaker 1>of it, you can go look at. I'm not making it.

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<v Speaker 1>One of the funniest political things I've ever seen in

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<v Speaker 1>my life. Why did they do it? Because it works

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<v Speaker 1>because it works in Democrat circles. Doesn't work for people

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<v Speaker 1>on the right, but if you're on the left, that's

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<v Speaker 1>why they do it, and it works. All right, let's

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<v Speaker 1>get off of this stuff. Get off of this stuff,

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<v Speaker 1>and let's do some emails wonderful, wonderful things happening. Tell

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<v Speaker 1>you about the time I almost stabbed somebody with the fork.

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<v Speaker 1>It's gonna be a wonderful show tonight on the Jesse

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<v Speaker 1>Kelly Show. It is a Jesse Kelly Show ul Tuesday.

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<v Speaker 1>Remember you can email the show Jesse at Jesse kellyshow

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<v Speaker 1>dot com. Did I ever tell you about the time

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<v Speaker 1>I almost stabbed somebody with a fork? So I'll show

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<v Speaker 1>the night that I got hit the hardest I've ever

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<v Speaker 1>been hitting my entire life. And I thought about this. Look,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll get back to politics in a minute, in the

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<v Speaker 1>shutdown and stuff like that. But I saw this story

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<v Speaker 1>about an Indian man charged with stabbing two teams with

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<v Speaker 1>a fork on a flight out of Chicago. First of all,

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<v Speaker 1>flying in and out of Chicago will make anybody a

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<v Speaker 1>little stabby. That's just the way the place is. That's one. Two.

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<v Speaker 1>We were in the Marine Corps and we had a

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<v Speaker 1>couple nights off. I forget how many how much time

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<v Speaker 1>we had off, But we go out to Palm Springs

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<v Speaker 1>because I was stationed in twenty nine Palms. We go

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<v Speaker 1>out to Palm Springs. There's a few of us out there,

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<v Speaker 1>and if you're a local, certainly a local young man.

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<v Speaker 1>You probably don't have the best view of United States Marines.

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<v Speaker 1>Why because you have a bunch of young, cocky Marines

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<v Speaker 1>coming into town competing for your women. This is the way,

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00:27:07.519 --> 00:27:09.960
<v Speaker 1>This is the way societies work. This is certainly the

416
00:27:09.960 --> 00:27:13.960
<v Speaker 1>way young men think. It's a competition for the dimes. Eh,

417
00:27:14.160 --> 00:27:18.599
<v Speaker 1>it's that's the all it is. So already there's a

418
00:27:18.599 --> 00:27:21.920
<v Speaker 1>certain level of hostility with the other young men in

419
00:27:21.960 --> 00:27:26.519
<v Speaker 1>the Palm Springs commit community towards the United States Marines

420
00:27:26.599 --> 00:27:29.039
<v Speaker 1>because it was close enough. I'm gonna say it was

421
00:27:29.079 --> 00:27:31.920
<v Speaker 1>two hours away, baby, wrong. It's been twenty years, but

422
00:27:31.920 --> 00:27:35.039
<v Speaker 1>I want to say it's a couple hours away. We

423
00:27:35.240 --> 00:27:39.400
<v Speaker 1>end up because we are an extremely classy bunch. We

424
00:27:39.559 --> 00:27:43.599
<v Speaker 1>end up at TGI Fridays. I don't even know if

425
00:27:43.640 --> 00:27:46.960
<v Speaker 1>those exist anymore. But there was a time they had

426
00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:52.640
<v Speaker 1>an extra cheesy cheeseburger that had a pad, a mozzarella

427
00:27:52.759 --> 00:27:55.440
<v Speaker 1>stick pad for the cheese on top, and they served

428
00:27:55.440 --> 00:27:58.279
<v Speaker 1>it with queso. You could dip it in. It was

429
00:27:58.640 --> 00:28:00.599
<v Speaker 1>a Chris It's one of the great rush strump burgers

430
00:28:00.599 --> 00:28:03.359
<v Speaker 1>of all time. I think it's gone now, don't distract me.

431
00:28:03.559 --> 00:28:06.720
<v Speaker 1>We end up at TGI Fridays having a couple of

432
00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:12.319
<v Speaker 1>beers being stupid. My buddy, of course, is outside on

433
00:28:12.359 --> 00:28:16.039
<v Speaker 1>the TGI Friday's patio and he's talking to some women

434
00:28:16.079 --> 00:28:19.680
<v Speaker 1>out there. Things start to go south because there is

435
00:28:19.720 --> 00:28:24.200
<v Speaker 1>some dudes out there with them. I go storming outside

436
00:28:24.759 --> 00:28:28.160
<v Speaker 1>and do you know the the Clint Eastwood thing. Anyone

437
00:28:28.160 --> 00:28:30.759
<v Speaker 1>has a problem, that's let's work it out right here,

438
00:28:30.799 --> 00:28:33.759
<v Speaker 1>you know, just being an idiot like young men do.

439
00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:36.680
<v Speaker 1>Being an idiot. Hey, anybody wants thow hands, we can

440
00:28:36.720 --> 00:28:39.359
<v Speaker 1>do it right now, a young idiot, I got it.

441
00:28:40.799 --> 00:28:42.640
<v Speaker 1>They all kind of back off. No no, no, no, no,

442
00:28:42.640 --> 00:28:47.240
<v Speaker 1>no no. And I'm sure I said something to the

443
00:28:47.279 --> 00:28:49.960
<v Speaker 1>effect of, yeah, that's right. There's something dumb that I

444
00:28:49.960 --> 00:28:53.359
<v Speaker 1>shouldn't have said. A big friggin' moron, rubbit run in

445
00:28:53.359 --> 00:28:56.640
<v Speaker 1>my mouth. I am wearing a ball cap at the time.

446
00:28:56.880 --> 00:29:00.000
<v Speaker 1>That's going to come into play here. I forget it.

447
00:29:00.359 --> 00:29:03.920
<v Speaker 1>My buddy goes back inside. I go back inside. I

448
00:29:04.000 --> 00:29:07.359
<v Speaker 1>go sit back down at the bar to eat my cheeseburger,

449
00:29:07.400 --> 00:29:10.400
<v Speaker 1>which I am dipping in kso at the time I

450
00:29:10.440 --> 00:29:15.880
<v Speaker 1>am hunched over my cheeseburger, and all of a sudden wham,

451
00:29:16.519 --> 00:29:21.359
<v Speaker 1>somebody snatches my ball cap off of my head. I think,

452
00:29:22.039 --> 00:29:26.759
<v Speaker 1>who is about to die? And I turn around and

453
00:29:26.880 --> 00:29:29.279
<v Speaker 1>it is one of the largest human beings I have

454
00:29:29.440 --> 00:29:34.240
<v Speaker 1>ever seen in my entire life. He was Chris said,

455
00:29:34.279 --> 00:29:38.079
<v Speaker 1>did that stop you? No? But it did let me

456
00:29:38.160 --> 00:29:42.519
<v Speaker 1>know I probably needed some assistance. What assistance, well, a

457
00:29:42.519 --> 00:29:45.640
<v Speaker 1>weapon of some kind of course. So I turn around

458
00:29:45.680 --> 00:29:47.480
<v Speaker 1>the second I see this dude, and I see how

459
00:29:47.519 --> 00:29:50.400
<v Speaker 1>big he is. I turn around and I grab my

460
00:29:50.519 --> 00:29:53.960
<v Speaker 1>TGI Friday's fork and I turn around and try to

461
00:29:54.039 --> 00:29:56.480
<v Speaker 1>stab him with the fork. This is a terrible what

462
00:29:56.599 --> 00:30:00.799
<v Speaker 1>Chris being honest about what happened? My butt who don't

463
00:30:00.839 --> 00:30:03.319
<v Speaker 1>want me to go to jail? They grab me and

464
00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:07.920
<v Speaker 1>hold me back from stabbing him with the fork. He

465
00:30:08.920 --> 00:30:13.839
<v Speaker 1>throws my hat on the ground and something said something

466
00:30:13.880 --> 00:30:16.920
<v Speaker 1>about I'll beat you outside or something like that. My

467
00:30:17.000 --> 00:30:20.079
<v Speaker 1>buddies are trying to calm me down because they understand

468
00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:22.400
<v Speaker 1>that I have a temper at this point in time

469
00:30:22.559 --> 00:30:24.839
<v Speaker 1>and I very well may end up in jail and

470
00:30:25.039 --> 00:30:27.839
<v Speaker 1>or die because this guy had hands that looked like

471
00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:31.359
<v Speaker 1>dinner plates. That I was not in a current state

472
00:30:31.400 --> 00:30:34.680
<v Speaker 1>of mind to be concerned with such things. So I lied,

473
00:30:34.920 --> 00:30:37.559
<v Speaker 1>and I told my buddies, I'm fine, no, no, not

474
00:30:37.640 --> 00:30:40.359
<v Speaker 1>even interested. I've let it go. Just let me get

475
00:30:40.400 --> 00:30:46.920
<v Speaker 1>my hat. It's all good, totally fine. I wait until

476
00:30:47.000 --> 00:30:50.799
<v Speaker 1>they turn back around to eat their cheeseburgers, which they

477
00:30:50.799 --> 00:30:55.759
<v Speaker 1>dip in kso I then turn and bolt towards the

478
00:30:55.799 --> 00:30:58.319
<v Speaker 1>front door so I can go out there. And I'm

479
00:30:58.359 --> 00:31:00.559
<v Speaker 1>sure in my mind I had dreamt the going out

480
00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:05.359
<v Speaker 1>there and stomping this dude. It had two sets of doors,

481
00:31:06.240 --> 00:31:10.200
<v Speaker 1>both of them solid, that's important. There were no windows.

482
00:31:10.279 --> 00:31:13.240
<v Speaker 1>I could not see through them. I burst through the

483
00:31:13.279 --> 00:31:15.960
<v Speaker 1>first set of double doors, and there's this little entryway,

484
00:31:16.720 --> 00:31:20.559
<v Speaker 1>and then I burst through the next set of double doors.

485
00:31:22.039 --> 00:31:29.319
<v Speaker 1>He is waiting right there with his fist already cocked back.

486
00:31:30.279 --> 00:31:34.599
<v Speaker 1>This It was the millisecond that second set of double

487
00:31:34.640 --> 00:31:36.880
<v Speaker 1>doors open, and of course I was leading with my

488
00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:41.079
<v Speaker 1>face through them. You know, you have your head down. Wam.

489
00:31:41.119 --> 00:31:44.000
<v Speaker 1>He hits me so freaking hard. I have been hit

490
00:31:44.319 --> 00:31:47.519
<v Speaker 1>several times in my life and done some hitting myself.

491
00:31:47.640 --> 00:31:50.680
<v Speaker 1>I have never been punched that hard in all of

492
00:31:50.720 --> 00:31:54.160
<v Speaker 1>my life. It is by a miracle from God that

493
00:31:54.240 --> 00:31:57.519
<v Speaker 1>I don't really get knocked out. That's purely as a

494
00:31:57.960 --> 00:32:00.799
<v Speaker 1>it's a I don't know, a genetic thing, I would guess,

495
00:32:00.920 --> 00:32:03.079
<v Speaker 1>but that is as close as I've ever been, and

496
00:32:03.160 --> 00:32:07.920
<v Speaker 1>I would guess that I was briefly. I saw so

497
00:32:08.039 --> 00:32:10.559
<v Speaker 1>many stars I had to drop down to a knee.

498
00:32:11.279 --> 00:32:13.799
<v Speaker 1>My buddies at this point in time come pouring out.

499
00:32:14.119 --> 00:32:18.440
<v Speaker 1>Then the TGI Friday's staff comes pouring out, calling the police.

500
00:32:18.799 --> 00:32:22.559
<v Speaker 1>We end up having to run through this dark neighborhood

501
00:32:22.599 --> 00:32:26.319
<v Speaker 1>in Palm Springs running from the police, which I would

502
00:32:26.359 --> 00:32:28.920
<v Speaker 1>really recommend. Really, you really don't want to do any

503
00:32:28.960 --> 00:32:30.839
<v Speaker 1>of these things. I really want you to be smarter

504
00:32:31.119 --> 00:32:37.839
<v Speaker 1>and better than I am what Chris. But Chris said,

505
00:32:37.880 --> 00:32:40.240
<v Speaker 1>I got punched, but I didn't assault him. I think

506
00:32:40.279 --> 00:32:44.119
<v Speaker 1>the cops probably would have frowned on the fork thing,

507
00:32:44.599 --> 00:32:47.920
<v Speaker 1>probably a bit that probably would have I did not

508
00:32:47.960 --> 00:32:50.759
<v Speaker 1>stab him, that is correct, That is correct, but they

509
00:32:50.799 --> 00:32:54.720
<v Speaker 1>probably would have frowned on that. And then I had

510
00:32:54.720 --> 00:32:59.359
<v Speaker 1>to show up in formation on Monday morning and it

511
00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:04.839
<v Speaker 1>wasn't my I the entire left side of my face

512
00:33:05.400 --> 00:33:08.319
<v Speaker 1>was swollen shut. Do you have any idea how that

513
00:33:08.400 --> 00:33:12.720
<v Speaker 1>conversation went with the company first sergeant? It did not

514
00:33:13.200 --> 00:33:17.000
<v Speaker 1>go well. I have no idea why I chose to

515
00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:19.079
<v Speaker 1>tell you that story. Right now, we should go back

516
00:33:19.079 --> 00:33:22.319
<v Speaker 1>and talk about some politics. Let's talk briefly about the shutdown.
