WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.520 --> 00:00:05.440 This is Pastor Rick's Daily Hope, the broadcast ministry of 2 00:00:05.559 --> 00:00:10.119 Pastor Rick Warren. Today we continue in the series Essentials 3 00:00:10.160 --> 00:00:14.000 for Living. In these lessons, Pastor Rick shares the power 4 00:00:14.080 --> 00:00:17.239 you need to live on, the principles you need to 5 00:00:17.280 --> 00:00:20.600 live by, and the purpose you need to live for 6 00:00:21.079 --> 00:00:25.559 so that you're truly living and not just existing. First, 7 00:00:26.039 --> 00:00:29.719 do you ever feel like you've lost your spark your joy? 8 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:32.200 In just a few moments, We're going to tell you 9 00:00:32.280 --> 00:00:36.479 about an exciting new resource that will deepen your relationship 10 00:00:36.520 --> 00:00:40.159 with God and restore your joy. You can take a 11 00:00:40.200 --> 00:00:43.560 sneak peek right now by going to Pastorick dot com 12 00:00:43.600 --> 00:00:46.479 while you listen. If you want, you can just text 13 00:00:46.479 --> 00:00:50.399 the word hope to eight hundred six hundred five thousand 14 00:00:50.399 --> 00:00:54.640 and four to find out more. Right now, here's Pastor 15 00:00:54.759 --> 00:00:57.880 Rick Warren with part one of a message called how 16 00:00:57.920 --> 00:00:59.240 to Connect with People. 17 00:01:00.600 --> 00:01:02.560 Have you ever been in one of those conversations where 18 00:01:02.600 --> 00:01:06.879 you just weren't connecting. You're doing everything you can to 19 00:01:06.920 --> 00:01:09.079 make sense, and no matter how hard you try, you're 20 00:01:09.239 --> 00:01:12.280 just not getting through to that person. You may be 21 00:01:12.400 --> 00:01:15.079 talking to a teenager and they think you're from another planet. 22 00:01:15.120 --> 00:01:16.519 You may be talking to a child. 23 00:01:16.840 --> 00:01:18.760 You may be talking to your husband or wife, or 24 00:01:18.799 --> 00:01:21.760 an employee, but for one reason or another, it just 25 00:01:22.079 --> 00:01:26.239 isn't connecting. One of the deepest needs that you have 26 00:01:26.319 --> 00:01:29.760 in life is the need to be understood. We all 27 00:01:30.040 --> 00:01:34.319 desperately need to feel that somebody understands us, that somebody 28 00:01:34.359 --> 00:01:37.120 can feel what we're feeling and can think what we're thinking. 29 00:01:37.439 --> 00:01:41.719 We all need people who connect with us. And if 30 00:01:41.760 --> 00:01:45.000 you don't ever have anybody in your life that you 31 00:01:45.079 --> 00:01:48.879 feel connected to like that, it has all kinds of 32 00:01:48.959 --> 00:01:52.000 negative effects. I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, this 33 00:01:52.120 --> 00:01:55.719 California Department of Health mental study. It's so profound I 34 00:01:55.760 --> 00:01:58.319 want to mention it again. They discovered that if you're 35 00:01:58.439 --> 00:02:01.079 disconnected from other people, there's nobody in your life that 36 00:02:01.159 --> 00:02:04.680 you really feel understands you, you are two to three 37 00:02:04.760 --> 00:02:08.199 times more likely to die from an early death, You 38 00:02:08.240 --> 00:02:11.759 are four times more likely to suffer from emotional burnout, 39 00:02:12.520 --> 00:02:15.800 you are five times more likely to suffer clinical depression, 40 00:02:16.479 --> 00:02:19.919 and you are ten times more likely to be hospitalized 41 00:02:19.960 --> 00:02:25.199 for an emotional or mental disorder. Human connections are good medicine. 42 00:02:25.319 --> 00:02:28.000 You need them. They're not just something that's nice to 43 00:02:28.039 --> 00:02:32.800 have in your life. You need them physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 44 00:02:33.039 --> 00:02:36.159 You need people who understand you, who relate to you, 45 00:02:36.599 --> 00:02:40.159 and who can connect to you. Now, last week we 46 00:02:40.240 --> 00:02:43.360 talked in this series about the importance of being spiritually 47 00:02:43.360 --> 00:02:47.400 connected to a church family. But even if you are 48 00:02:47.400 --> 00:02:50.400 connected to a church family, if you don't know how 49 00:02:50.400 --> 00:02:53.240 to connect to people one on one, you can still 50 00:02:53.240 --> 00:02:58.599 feel detached. You can feel still feel disconnected. So today 51 00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:00.319 Tom and I are going to do a mess. It's 52 00:03:00.360 --> 00:03:03.800 called how to really connect with people, how to connect 53 00:03:03.840 --> 00:03:06.319 with them on the deepest level. Now, this is one 54 00:03:06.360 --> 00:03:11.000 of life's most important skills, learning how to really connect 55 00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:13.800 with people on a heart to heart, soul the soul 56 00:03:14.240 --> 00:03:19.319 of fellowship level. Unfortunately, nobody ever teaches us how to 57 00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:22.639 do this. It certainly isn't taught in school how to 58 00:03:22.680 --> 00:03:23.759 relate interpersonally. 59 00:03:24.400 --> 00:03:25.199 You know, you learn. 60 00:03:25.120 --> 00:03:29.120 Science and geography and math and history and language in school, 61 00:03:29.400 --> 00:03:32.000 but nobody teaches you really how to connect with people. 62 00:03:32.840 --> 00:03:34.840 And if you don't know how to connect with people, 63 00:03:34.879 --> 00:03:36.479 you're not going very far in life. 64 00:03:36.560 --> 00:03:39.840 It's just that simple. You may be brilliant in some. 65 00:03:39.960 --> 00:03:42.879 Subject, but if you don't know how to connect with people, 66 00:03:44.159 --> 00:03:46.120 you're just not going to go very far in life. 67 00:03:46.759 --> 00:03:49.479 It is the most basic skill you need how to 68 00:03:49.599 --> 00:03:52.919 deal and how to relate with other people. Now, these 69 00:03:52.919 --> 00:03:55.639 six principles that we're going to share today, I'm very 70 00:03:55.719 --> 00:03:58.120 excited about because every one of you in this room 71 00:03:58.360 --> 00:04:01.240 need this material. Doesn't matter what age, your stage in 72 00:04:01.280 --> 00:04:03.919 life you are in. If you were a parent and 73 00:04:03.960 --> 00:04:06.319 you want to know how to better connect with your children, 74 00:04:06.520 --> 00:04:10.400 you're going to use these principles. If you are engaged 75 00:04:10.520 --> 00:04:13.319 or married and you want to know how to better 76 00:04:13.560 --> 00:04:17.519 relate to that other person that spouse, you can use 77 00:04:17.519 --> 00:04:20.279 these principles. If you are a teacher, or an employer 78 00:04:20.439 --> 00:04:24.199 or an employee, no matter who you are, if you 79 00:04:24.319 --> 00:04:26.920 need to get close to anybody in life, you need 80 00:04:26.920 --> 00:04:29.120 these principles. In fact, these would be good rules for 81 00:04:29.199 --> 00:04:32.079 a small group, and we have over two thousand small 82 00:04:32.120 --> 00:04:34.839 groups that saddle back. These would be guidelines for how 83 00:04:34.879 --> 00:04:37.480 you should react and relate in a small group. 84 00:04:38.279 --> 00:04:42.279 Now, to get the most out of today's message, at the. 85 00:04:42.240 --> 00:04:45.160 Start, I want you to think of somebody that you 86 00:04:45.199 --> 00:04:48.639 would like to be closer to. Think of somebody that 87 00:04:48.680 --> 00:04:51.519 you would really like to connect on a deeper level 88 00:04:51.560 --> 00:04:54.920 with than you're connecting with them right now. In fact, 89 00:04:54.959 --> 00:04:56.959 in order to make this specific, I want you to 90 00:04:57.040 --> 00:05:02.079 write down their initials somewhere on your. 91 00:05:02.480 --> 00:05:02.600 Now. 92 00:05:02.639 --> 00:05:05.959 I don't see any of you doing this, so I'm 93 00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:10.439 going to just wait right now. If you can't think 94 00:05:10.480 --> 00:05:15.199 of somebody you really need this message, Believe me, you 95 00:05:15.240 --> 00:05:18.279 can't think of anybody you'd rather be closer to. You 96 00:05:18.480 --> 00:05:21.639 need this message, So right, write their initials or write 97 00:05:21.680 --> 00:05:24.879 them backwards. Nobody's going to look at it anyway. Who 98 00:05:24.879 --> 00:05:27.439 would you like to get closer to? Who would you 99 00:05:27.519 --> 00:05:29.600 like to have a deeper connection with? Some of you, 100 00:05:29.639 --> 00:05:32.120 it needs to be somebody you need to reconnect with, 101 00:05:33.160 --> 00:05:36.480 maybe reconnect with a child, or reconnect with a parent, 102 00:05:37.480 --> 00:05:40.360 or reconnect with a former friend. And somebody who's been 103 00:05:40.399 --> 00:05:44.000 in your life very important. You see, it's possible to 104 00:05:44.040 --> 00:05:47.560 get disconnected too once you have been connected. A lot 105 00:05:47.560 --> 00:05:51.199 of marriages do this, many married. Most marriages start off 106 00:05:51.439 --> 00:05:56.839 close and connected, but somehow, over time they just get 107 00:05:57.160 --> 00:06:00.000 disconnected and it's hard to get reconnected. 108 00:06:00.560 --> 00:06:01.199 What do you do? 109 00:06:01.680 --> 00:06:05.560 The first key to connecting is this, be courageous. You 110 00:06:05.639 --> 00:06:08.519 must be courageous and take the initiative. What I mean 111 00:06:08.560 --> 00:06:10.519 is you've got to be willing to take the first step. 112 00:06:10.759 --> 00:06:13.279 You don't wait on somebody else to connect with you. 113 00:06:13.279 --> 00:06:16.519 You must take the initiative to connect with them. Now, 114 00:06:16.560 --> 00:06:21.319 this often takes courage. Why because it's fear that disconnects 115 00:06:21.399 --> 00:06:24.519 human beings. When we are full of fear and anxiety, 116 00:06:24.600 --> 00:06:26.439 we don't get close to each other. In fact, we 117 00:06:26.560 --> 00:06:29.319 back off of each other. We're afraid of what We're 118 00:06:29.319 --> 00:06:32.480 afraid of being rejected. We're afraid of being manipulated. We're 119 00:06:32.480 --> 00:06:35.399 afraid of being vulnerable. We're afraid of being hurt. We're 120 00:06:35.439 --> 00:06:38.560 afraid of being used. And all of these fears cause 121 00:06:38.639 --> 00:06:41.920 us to be disconnected in life. Now, this fear is 122 00:06:41.959 --> 00:06:44.480 as old as mankind. When Adam and Eve sinned and 123 00:06:44.519 --> 00:06:47.600 God came looking for Adam, Adam said, I was afraid, 124 00:06:47.800 --> 00:06:51.560 and I hid, And people have been doing that ever since. 125 00:06:51.839 --> 00:06:54.120 We are afraid, and so we hide, We hide our 126 00:06:54.160 --> 00:06:56.480 true selves. We don't let people know what we're really like. 127 00:06:56.959 --> 00:06:59.000 We don't let them see the inside of us. Why 128 00:06:59.560 --> 00:07:02.079 because if we let people know what we're really liking, 129 00:07:02.160 --> 00:07:04.759 they don't like it. We're up a creek without a paddle. 130 00:07:04.800 --> 00:07:06.519 It's tough luck. I mean, why am I afraid? To 131 00:07:06.560 --> 00:07:08.800 tell you who I am, because if I tell you 132 00:07:08.839 --> 00:07:10.360 who I am and you don't like me, I'm in 133 00:07:10.439 --> 00:07:14.000 for it. I have no alternative. And so we wear 134 00:07:14.079 --> 00:07:17.759 masks and we pretend. And fear does three terrible things 135 00:07:17.759 --> 00:07:22.000 to relationships. Number One, it makes us defensive. We're afraid 136 00:07:22.040 --> 00:07:24.920 to reveal ourselves and we defend ourselves, and when people 137 00:07:24.959 --> 00:07:29.000 point out weaknesses, we just retaliate and we defend ourselves. 138 00:07:29.519 --> 00:07:32.600 Number Two, our fears keep us distant. We don't let 139 00:07:32.600 --> 00:07:34.480 people get close to us. We want to withdraw, we 140 00:07:34.519 --> 00:07:37.279 want to pull back. We want to hide our emotions. 141 00:07:37.680 --> 00:07:39.319 We don't want to let people. We don't want to 142 00:07:39.319 --> 00:07:42.879 be open and honest, but we become defensive and distant. 143 00:07:42.879 --> 00:07:46.759 And Third, our fears make us demanding. Whenever we're insecure, 144 00:07:47.439 --> 00:07:49.560 the more insecure we are, the more we try to 145 00:07:49.600 --> 00:07:52.839 control things. And so we try to have the last 146 00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:55.079 word in a relationship and we try to dominate and 147 00:07:55.120 --> 00:07:57.480 we try to control. And it is always a symptom 148 00:07:57.680 --> 00:08:01.879 a fear of insecurity. Now, where do you get the confidence, 149 00:08:02.240 --> 00:08:05.360 the courage to take the first step in connecting with someone, 150 00:08:05.839 --> 00:08:08.480 to going to a deeper level of intimacy. Where do 151 00:08:08.519 --> 00:08:11.240 you get that kind of courage. You get it from 152 00:08:11.279 --> 00:08:13.720 God's Spirit in your life. Look at what the Bible 153 00:08:13.720 --> 00:08:17.680 says two Timothy one, p. Seven For the Holy Spirit, 154 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:21.079 God's gift does not want you to be afraid of people, 155 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:25.319 but to be wise and strong, that's courageous, and to 156 00:08:25.439 --> 00:08:28.160 love them and enjoy being with them. How do you 157 00:08:28.199 --> 00:08:29.560 know when you're filled with God's spirit. 158 00:08:29.759 --> 00:08:32.320 Simple. One of the ways is you're more courageous in 159 00:08:32.360 --> 00:08:33.320 your relationships. 160 00:08:33.639 --> 00:08:36.200 You love people, you enjoy being with them, You're not 161 00:08:36.279 --> 00:08:38.720 afraid of them because God's Spirit is in your life. 162 00:08:38.840 --> 00:08:38.960 Now. 163 00:08:38.960 --> 00:08:42.080 The Bible says God is love, and the Bible says 164 00:08:42.240 --> 00:08:44.879 love casts out all fear. So when the more of 165 00:08:44.960 --> 00:08:47.159 God you have in your life, the less a fear 166 00:08:47.200 --> 00:08:49.360 you're going to have in your life because God is 167 00:08:49.559 --> 00:08:52.799 love and love casts out fear. So the starting point 168 00:08:52.840 --> 00:08:55.600 in connecting with anybody is to pause and praise, say God, 169 00:08:55.919 --> 00:08:59.639 give me the courage to take the first step. Some 170 00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:01.720 of you need to do that this week with a 171 00:09:01.759 --> 00:09:03.879 person you need to connect with, give me the courage 172 00:09:04.000 --> 00:09:06.480 to take the first step, to take the initiative. The 173 00:09:06.519 --> 00:09:10.159 second key to connecting is to be considerate, to be 174 00:09:10.279 --> 00:09:13.720 considerate of their needs in other words, if you want 175 00:09:13.759 --> 00:09:15.720 to connect with people, you have to start with their needs, 176 00:09:15.759 --> 00:09:17.759 not your own. You have to start with their hurts, 177 00:09:17.799 --> 00:09:20.240 not your own. You have to start with what they want, 178 00:09:20.320 --> 00:09:21.720 not what you want. 179 00:09:25.919 --> 00:09:29.080 You're listening to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope. Rick will be 180 00:09:29.120 --> 00:09:31.960 back in just a moment with the rest of today's lesson. 181 00:09:32.360 --> 00:09:35.480 You can sign up for Pastor Rick's free email devotional 182 00:09:35.679 --> 00:09:39.679 at pastorick dot com. That's pastorick dot com. 183 00:09:39.919 --> 00:09:43.639 Do you desire more of God he desires more of you? 184 00:09:44.480 --> 00:09:47.399 Let me ask you this, how's your relationship with God 185 00:09:47.480 --> 00:09:50.720 right now? Maybe you're walking closely with him and do 186 00:09:50.759 --> 00:09:55.240 you feel energized and alive or maybe you feel disconnected 187 00:09:55.600 --> 00:09:58.759 like you're just going through the motions. Pastor Rick says, 188 00:09:58.919 --> 00:10:01.919 if you want to stake an and even deepen your 189 00:10:01.960 --> 00:10:05.879 relationship with God, you need to be intentional. That's why 190 00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:10.120 every year Pastor Ric personally goes through a spiritual renewal study, 191 00:10:10.399 --> 00:10:13.559 and now he's made that very same study available to you. 192 00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:18.320 It's called Going Deeper with God, a personal renewal retreat. 193 00:10:18.679 --> 00:10:22.480 In this very special resource, Pastor Wric will personally lead 194 00:10:22.519 --> 00:10:26.320 you on a spiritual journey that brings you closer to God. Together, 195 00:10:26.480 --> 00:10:29.399 you'll go through a series of audio lessons, and after 196 00:10:29.440 --> 00:10:32.480 each session you'll take a little time to reflect and 197 00:10:32.559 --> 00:10:36.919 complete exercises in the Companion workbook. Through this retreat, you'll 198 00:10:36.960 --> 00:10:40.679 experience a renewal of life within you. God will restore 199 00:10:40.759 --> 00:10:45.759 your joy. As he renews, refreshes, invigorates, and revives your 200 00:10:45.799 --> 00:10:49.840 spiritual life, You'll never be the same again. Will send 201 00:10:49.879 --> 00:10:53.679 you going deeper with God. A personal renewal retreat as 202 00:10:53.720 --> 00:10:56.320 our way of saying thanks when you give a gift 203 00:10:56.320 --> 00:10:59.759 today to help Daily Hope share the hope of Jesus 204 00:11:00.080 --> 00:11:03.279 with the hurting world. Just go to Pastorick dot com 205 00:11:03.399 --> 00:11:05.919 right now to get your copy, or you can call 206 00:11:06.039 --> 00:11:09.360 eight hundred six hundred at five zero zero four. That's 207 00:11:09.399 --> 00:11:13.039 Pastorick dot com. Or call eight hundred six hundred at 208 00:11:13.120 --> 00:11:15.960 five zero zero four and be sure to let us 209 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:18.519 know which station you heard us on. Thank you so 210 00:11:18.720 --> 00:11:21.879 much for your support. 211 00:11:25.120 --> 00:11:28.600 Now let's get back to today's lesson. Here on Pastor 212 00:11:28.679 --> 00:11:30.080 Rick's Daily Hope. 213 00:11:30.279 --> 00:11:33.600 The Bible says in Philippians two four, look out for 214 00:11:33.679 --> 00:11:37.679 one another's interest, not just your own. Now, friends, that 215 00:11:37.799 --> 00:11:42.600 is such a counterculture verse because everything in our culture. 216 00:11:42.879 --> 00:11:45.840 From the moment you were born, you are conditioned to 217 00:11:45.919 --> 00:11:50.320 think first of yourself. You don't think about other people naturally. 218 00:11:50.399 --> 00:11:52.799 That's something you have to learn to do. You naturally 219 00:11:52.840 --> 00:11:57.360 think about your needs, your desires, your goals, your ambitions, 220 00:11:57.399 --> 00:11:58.720 and what you want in life. 221 00:11:58.799 --> 00:12:00.080 I gotta do what's best for me. 222 00:12:00.440 --> 00:12:03.480 I got to think of me first, and as a result, 223 00:12:03.600 --> 00:12:07.799 we have many, many millions of people disconnected because everybody's 224 00:12:07.840 --> 00:12:12.000 thinking of themselves and not being considerate of each other's needs. 225 00:12:12.919 --> 00:12:14.399 This last week, I was watching. 226 00:12:14.120 --> 00:12:16.200 TV and during about a two hour period, I saw 227 00:12:16.279 --> 00:12:20.919 three commercials with the same byline, you deserve it. It 228 00:12:21.000 --> 00:12:23.960 was the byline, you know, buy this shampoo, you deserve it. 229 00:12:24.720 --> 00:12:27.159 Buy this great car, you deserve it. And we are 230 00:12:27.200 --> 00:12:31.919 taught you know that we are the supreme value in life. Now, 231 00:12:32.399 --> 00:12:35.919 let me teach you two very basic truths about life. 232 00:12:36.440 --> 00:12:38.960 The first one may surprise you, but it is true. 233 00:12:39.440 --> 00:12:42.799 And the first rule of life is this. The world 234 00:12:42.840 --> 00:12:47.840 does not revolve around you. Now, I know that's shocking, 235 00:12:48.919 --> 00:12:53.679 but the world does not revolve around you. You're very 236 00:12:53.720 --> 00:12:56.279 special in God's eyes. You were created for a purpose. 237 00:12:56.399 --> 00:12:59.039 But the world does not revolve around you. If you 238 00:12:59.080 --> 00:13:00.960 want to know how much you be missed. Stick your 239 00:13:00.960 --> 00:13:02.639 hand into a bucket of water and pull it out 240 00:13:02.679 --> 00:13:05.799 and see what kind of hole you leave. It fills 241 00:13:05.960 --> 00:13:11.879 up pretty quick, pretty quick. And so the world does 242 00:13:11.919 --> 00:13:14.600 not revolve around you. So don't be expecting the whole 243 00:13:14.600 --> 00:13:16.399 world to come and just say how can we meet 244 00:13:16.399 --> 00:13:19.960 your needs? Because it's not. The second basic truth of 245 00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:22.360 life you need to learn is this. God has promised 246 00:13:22.480 --> 00:13:25.039 that when you focus on meeting the needs of other people, 247 00:13:26.159 --> 00:13:27.600 he guarantees. 248 00:13:27.080 --> 00:13:28.399 He will meet yours. 249 00:13:29.240 --> 00:13:31.440 So you want your needs to be met, simple, start 250 00:13:31.480 --> 00:13:34.320 focusing on meeting the needs of other people. God says 251 00:13:34.320 --> 00:13:36.159 it over and over in the Bible that if I 252 00:13:36.279 --> 00:13:39.559 focus on meeting the needs of other people, God assumes 253 00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:42.720 responsibility to meet all of my needs. Why because He 254 00:13:42.759 --> 00:13:45.240 wants me to learn to be unselfish. He wants me 255 00:13:45.279 --> 00:13:46.720 to learn to be loving. He wants me to learn 256 00:13:46.759 --> 00:13:51.240 to be generous like him. Colossians three thirteen says this, 257 00:13:51.799 --> 00:13:55.759 you must make allowances, an allowance for each other's faults, 258 00:13:56.279 --> 00:14:00.000 and forgive the person who offends you. Remember God forgave you, 259 00:14:00.120 --> 00:14:04.360 so you must forgive others. Now, part of being considered 260 00:14:04.360 --> 00:14:08.039 of other people's needs is making allowances for their faults. 261 00:14:09.120 --> 00:14:12.360 Part of being considered of other people's needs is not 262 00:14:12.440 --> 00:14:16.240 expecting them to be perfect. You're not perfect. You could 263 00:14:16.240 --> 00:14:18.159 never attain perfection, so why would you demand it of 264 00:14:18.200 --> 00:14:23.480 anybody else? Nobody is perfect. I read recently, a woman 265 00:14:23.519 --> 00:14:25.960 wrote to Dear Abby, Dear Abbey, I'm forty four years old. 266 00:14:26.200 --> 00:14:28.639 I'd like to find a man my age with no 267 00:14:28.679 --> 00:14:36.399 bad habits. Abby wrote back, so would I, because there 268 00:14:36.440 --> 00:14:39.039 are no people with no bad habits, with no faults, 269 00:14:39.879 --> 00:14:42.200 and so we have to make allowance for each other's 270 00:14:42.279 --> 00:14:44.759 false Let me give you another verse. Proverbs seventeen to 271 00:14:44.879 --> 00:14:48.320 nine says love forgets mistakes. 272 00:14:48.759 --> 00:14:50.240 Love forgets mistakes. 273 00:14:50.919 --> 00:14:53.519 When you are trying to make a connection with a person, 274 00:14:53.600 --> 00:14:55.679 you're trying to be considered their needs. It's not that 275 00:14:55.759 --> 00:14:58.200 you are blind to their faults. It's that you choose 276 00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:04.120 to overlook them. Great friends have good forgetters. They forget 277 00:15:04.159 --> 00:15:07.799 the bad stuff intentionally, you know, they just keep on. 278 00:15:08.200 --> 00:15:10.720 Like I said, they have good forgeters because love forgets mistakes. 279 00:15:10.840 --> 00:15:13.799 A good friend never says I told you so. A 280 00:15:13.919 --> 00:15:17.000 good friends never says, how could you be that stupid? Instead, 281 00:15:17.000 --> 00:15:20.960 a good friend is considerate of the other person's needs. 282 00:15:21.559 --> 00:15:23.000 Tom's going to talk about the next. 283 00:15:22.799 --> 00:15:27.000 One third way to connect with people is to be 284 00:15:27.080 --> 00:15:30.480 constructive with your words. Take your words and use them 285 00:15:30.679 --> 00:15:32.679 to build people up. As it says in this verse 286 00:15:32.679 --> 00:15:35.960 in Ephesians chapter four, verse twenty nine, do not let 287 00:15:36.039 --> 00:15:38.440 any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only 288 00:15:38.480 --> 00:15:41.759 what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, 289 00:15:42.039 --> 00:15:44.519 that it may benefit those who listen. In that verse, 290 00:15:44.519 --> 00:15:48.279 would you circle building others up? God wants us to 291 00:15:48.279 --> 00:15:51.000 take these words and use them to build people. I 292 00:15:51.080 --> 00:15:53.320 was thinking, I was thinking about building this week, and 293 00:15:53.720 --> 00:15:55.960 I recalled earlier in our marriage, Seandell and I had 294 00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:58.399 a home that was flooded and we had groups of 295 00:15:58.399 --> 00:16:00.399 people come in and help us rebuild them at home, 296 00:16:00.399 --> 00:16:03.159 which was a wonderful thing. Something pretty funny happened with 297 00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:05.159 the first groups that came in. Before we could build 298 00:16:05.159 --> 00:16:07.120 the walls back up, we had to tear the sheeting 299 00:16:07.399 --> 00:16:09.600 off of the walls. So the first people that came in, 300 00:16:09.639 --> 00:16:11.799 we gave them sledgehammers. We'd send them into a room 301 00:16:11.960 --> 00:16:14.399 and they had to knock the walls down and we'd 302 00:16:14.440 --> 00:16:17.559 walk out of the room. We'd start hearing this laughter 303 00:16:17.720 --> 00:16:19.600 in the room while they were knocking the walls down, 304 00:16:19.639 --> 00:16:21.840 because you know what, if you got a sledgehammer, you 305 00:16:21.840 --> 00:16:23.960 need to just swing it and knock something down. It's 306 00:16:23.960 --> 00:16:28.000 sort of fun. And Shandala and I would walk back 307 00:16:28.000 --> 00:16:29.840 in the room and they'd look all sad again because 308 00:16:29.879 --> 00:16:32.600 it was our house after all. And then we walked 309 00:16:32.639 --> 00:16:34.960 back out and they just start swinging away again. It's 310 00:16:35.080 --> 00:16:38.000 fun to tear things down. And sometimes with our words 311 00:16:38.039 --> 00:16:41.200 it's like a sledgehammer. No planning, no thinking, We just 312 00:16:41.320 --> 00:16:43.960 swing away, and then all of a sudden we look 313 00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:46.159 around and all we've got is we've got a pile 314 00:16:46.200 --> 00:16:49.879 of rubble around us, relational rubble, because when you just 315 00:16:49.919 --> 00:16:52.399 swing away with your words and just tear people down 316 00:16:52.480 --> 00:16:56.840 with your words, inevitably, inevitably, your relationships are gonna suffer 317 00:16:57.120 --> 00:17:02.000 from that. Words are this single most important tool given 318 00:17:02.039 --> 00:17:04.920 to man by God, without a doubt, without a doubt. 319 00:17:05.839 --> 00:17:08.559 Back in the Book of Genesis in the Bible, the 320 00:17:08.599 --> 00:17:10.799 Bible tells us that a place called Babbel, they were 321 00:17:10.799 --> 00:17:13.160 trying to build a tower to reach as high as heaven. 322 00:17:13.519 --> 00:17:15.599 We're getting pretty prideful about it. So God wanted to 323 00:17:15.599 --> 00:17:18.319 stop the project. To stop the project. He didn't take 324 00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:21.440 away their hammers of their saws. He took away their words, 325 00:17:21.759 --> 00:17:25.000 their ability to communicate. Because there's such an incredibly important 326 00:17:25.319 --> 00:17:28.240 tool that God's given us. One of the reasons that 327 00:17:28.279 --> 00:17:30.720 we're not constructive with our words is we don't realize 328 00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:34.440 how how powerful this tool is. Our mouth, the words 329 00:17:34.440 --> 00:17:37.680 that God has given to us. We say things without thinking, 330 00:17:38.119 --> 00:17:41.640 and people remember them. You do the things that people 331 00:17:41.720 --> 00:17:42.400 have said to you in. 332 00:17:42.359 --> 00:17:43.119 A thoughtless way. 333 00:17:43.119 --> 00:17:45.079 It may have been as far back as grade school 334 00:17:45.160 --> 00:17:47.519 or college, or when you first started work. You still 335 00:17:47.559 --> 00:17:51.640 remember some of those things. That's how powerful words are. 336 00:17:52.039 --> 00:17:53.680 So when it comes to your mouth, think of it 337 00:17:53.720 --> 00:17:56.759 as a power tool and be very careful with it. 338 00:17:57.519 --> 00:18:00.279 I went out in my garage yesterday and I have 339 00:18:00.279 --> 00:18:03.640 this manual for a power tool, a power saw, and 340 00:18:03.720 --> 00:18:06.039 I was reading through the directions for the use of 341 00:18:06.039 --> 00:18:08.960 this power tool, and I was struck by how it 342 00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:10.880 related to the use of this other power tool that 343 00:18:10.920 --> 00:18:13.000 God's given us, our mouth. See if you think some 344 00:18:13.039 --> 00:18:15.799 of them relate to our mouth too. Number one, know 345 00:18:15.880 --> 00:18:19.680 your power tool. Number two keep guards in place. That's 346 00:18:19.680 --> 00:18:23.680 a good one. Number three, keep be careful around children, 347 00:18:24.200 --> 00:18:28.039 store idle tools when not in use, don't overreach, and 348 00:18:28.160 --> 00:18:32.359 my favorite, never use in an explosive atmosphere. That fits 349 00:18:33.359 --> 00:18:36.200 with how we use this mouth, which is an incredible 350 00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:38.799 tool to build people up. So how can I start 351 00:18:38.880 --> 00:18:41.119 using it more carefully? How can I if I got 352 00:18:41.119 --> 00:18:43.039 a power tool, how can I use it more carefully? 353 00:18:43.039 --> 00:18:46.400 So instead of destroying with it, I'm building and constructing 354 00:18:46.440 --> 00:18:49.880 relationships with it. Well, I got to stop excusing, Stop 355 00:18:49.960 --> 00:18:53.720 saying that I didn't really mean to say that, or 356 00:18:53.759 --> 00:18:56.200 stop saying it was just that blood sugar dip right 357 00:18:56.240 --> 00:18:56.839 before lunch. 358 00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:58.000 That's all that it really was. 359 00:18:59.559 --> 00:19:02.440 Stop it excusing and realize what you say really is 360 00:19:02.480 --> 00:19:04.000 impacting everybody around you. 361 00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:05.440 I've got to talk less. 362 00:19:05.680 --> 00:19:07.319 If it's a power tool, you don't have to use 363 00:19:07.359 --> 00:19:09.440 it as much so I can talk less. One of 364 00:19:09.480 --> 00:19:11.079 the reasons we get in trouble, wudn't you admit, is 365 00:19:11.119 --> 00:19:13.920 we just talk too much. Sometimes we talk before we think. 366 00:19:14.119 --> 00:19:16.839 Got to talk less, and I've got to listen more. 367 00:19:17.160 --> 00:19:20.240 When I listen more, I can understand people's needs. I 368 00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:22.799 was talking to Shandell, my wife, on the phone yesterday, 369 00:19:22.839 --> 00:19:25.160 and she was on the car phone and as usual, 370 00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:27.680 about halfway through it dropped out, so the phone rang 371 00:19:27.720 --> 00:19:29.200 again right away and knew it was her and clicked 372 00:19:29.240 --> 00:19:34.680 on and said, hi, babe. Doug Field said, I've been 373 00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:36.799 waiting seven years for you to say that to me, 374 00:19:37.079 --> 00:19:40.400 is what he said. I said, You're gonna have to 375 00:19:40.400 --> 00:19:44.599 wait another seven years, is what I told him. I 376 00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:48.680 learned a little lesson once again, listen before you talk. 377 00:19:49.160 --> 00:19:51.440 It's one of the small lessons of life that makes 378 00:19:51.440 --> 00:19:53.960 incredible impact in the way that you and I use 379 00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:57.359 our words. So stop excusing, talk lesson, listen more, and 380 00:19:57.400 --> 00:20:00.119 through all of that, start building. Think first of all, 381 00:20:00.119 --> 00:20:02.519 what do they need? How can I use a word 382 00:20:02.559 --> 00:20:04.680 of encouragement to build them up? How can I use 383 00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:06.720 a word of challenge to make a difference in their life? 384 00:20:06.759 --> 00:20:09.400 How can I use my words to build the people 385 00:20:09.400 --> 00:20:10.319 that I love the most. 386 00:20:13.000 --> 00:20:16.240 The fourth key to connecting is to be candid, to 387 00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:20.039 be candid about the problems in the relationship. In other words, 388 00:20:20.039 --> 00:20:21.720 you have to be open, You have to be honest, 389 00:20:21.799 --> 00:20:25.160 you you have to be frank. Proverbs twenty four to 390 00:20:25.160 --> 00:20:29.400 twenty six says an honest answer is the sign of 391 00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:30.599 a true friendship. 392 00:20:33.960 --> 00:20:37.400 This is Pastor Rick's Daily hope. We're so happy you've 393 00:20:37.480 --> 00:20:40.640 chosen to study along with us today. You can get 394 00:20:40.720 --> 00:20:44.799 hope and encouragement from Pastor Rick delivered to your inbox 395 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:48.880 every day. Just go to Pastorick dot com and sign 396 00:20:49.000 --> 00:20:52.440 up for his free daily devotional. Rick will be back 397 00:20:52.480 --> 00:20:55.799 to close out our time today. But first, do you 398 00:20:55.960 --> 00:21:00.119 desire more of God? He desires more of you. Let 399 00:21:00.160 --> 00:21:04.240 me ask you this, how's your relationship with God right now? 400 00:21:04.559 --> 00:21:08.039 Maybe you're walking closely with Him and you feel energized 401 00:21:08.119 --> 00:21:12.319