Speaker 1: Seven, Lamb Productions Presents.
Speaker 2: Cop Doctors.
Speaker 3: Episode thirty four, The Spot By.
Speaker 4: God. I'm home and I'm gonna start cooking dinner. You'll
Speaker 4: never guess. So I saw at the grocery store.
Speaker 5: That asshole cashier always makes fun of me when I
Speaker 5: don't know a food or spice.
Speaker 2: Shut the door, Shut the door? What shut the door?
Speaker 4: Case quick time? Wasn't a frontic state that's going on?
Speaker 2: I lost her and I didn't want her to get out.
Speaker 5: Oh, Becky phil Nicky, Who the hell is Becky phil NICKI?
Speaker 2: About five minutes after you left for the store, this
Speaker 2: lady shows up at our door.
Speaker 6: Yes, hello there, my name is Becky Philniki, and I'm
Speaker 6: here to talk to you about a new revolutionary cleaning
Speaker 6: solution that will help make your place spotless.
Speaker 2: Oh uh no, thanks, I'm not looking to buy anything.
Speaker 7: But this isn't just anything. This here is revolutionary. It's
Speaker 7: called spot Destroyer and it will clean everything from.
Speaker 6: Carpets to windows, to toilets to buttholes, and it'll do
Speaker 6: it in less than forty five minutes.
Speaker 2: Forty five minutes that seems long.
Speaker 7: I said, less than forty five minutes. Don't be a deaf, dumbass.
Speaker 2: Hey, don't insult the daff.
Speaker 7: Why they can't hear me? Mack, come in, But.
Speaker 8: VICKI didn't wait for a response. She buds right inside.
Speaker 8: Past time.
Speaker 2: Hey, wait a second, I'll only be a moment.
Speaker 6: Let me just give you a quick demonstration to show
Speaker 6: you just how much you need this stuff in your life.
Speaker 4: Wait, you let her inside?
Speaker 2: She barged right in. Please, stiff arm, will you let
Speaker 2: me continue?
Speaker 4: Go ahead, see.
Speaker 6: Just a couple quicks, please, and you let it soak
Speaker 6: for thirty seconds.
Speaker 2: Thirty seconds, it's gonna.
Speaker 8: Soaki pulled out a rug and statid scruping.
Speaker 7: Then you scrubbed the carpet clean, simple as that.
Speaker 2: Then why did you say forty five minutes.
Speaker 6: Less than forty five minutes? I said less than forty
Speaker 6: five minutes? Jesus Christ, I wish I was talking to
Speaker 6: a deaf person instead of you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but why say forty five minutes?
Speaker 7: I don't know? Why is the sky blue? Why are
Speaker 7: there twenty four hours in a day? Why are baby sea.
Speaker 6: Turtles stupid getting distracted by traffic lights thinking they're the moon?
Speaker 7: What I mean? Why can I find a husband?
Speaker 2: I don't know the answers to those questions. I'm just
Speaker 2: saying your forty five minutes is a gross estimation.
Speaker 7: You are a gross estimation.
Speaker 2: Hey, that is probably why you can't find a husband.
Speaker 2: You're mean.
Speaker 5: So not only did you let a person inside up place,
Speaker 5: you let a mean person inside up place.
Speaker 2: I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Speaker 4: Time. Are you gonna get to the end of this story?
Speaker 2: If you stop interrupting my flashbacks.
Speaker 4: I'll hurry it up. I'm hungry and want to start cooking.
Speaker 2: Fine.
Speaker 9: See, and just like that.
Speaker 7: The spot is gone.
Speaker 2: Whoa, that's pretty good. Told you what about that spot
Speaker 2: there and that one there?
Speaker 6: This product will get rid of them all. Hey, are
Speaker 6: you just trying to get me to clean your carpet?
Speaker 7: Yeah, well I'm not going to.
Speaker 6: But if you buy this right now, I'll give you
Speaker 6: a second bottle half off. You could have your living
Speaker 6: room done in no time and still have plenty left
Speaker 6: for the dining room, kitchen, bathroom, and your very own butthole.
Speaker 7: Hmm, you're still not sold. Huh.
Speaker 2: It's just I'm wary of door to door salespeople.
Speaker 6: But I just showed you how this works on carpet
Speaker 6: I'm telling you it'll get rid of any grease, stain,
Speaker 6: any smudge, any spot. It's the best cleaning product you'll
Speaker 6: ever buy. It can do absolutely anything except I guess
Speaker 6: find me a husband.
Speaker 2: Wait are you crying?
Speaker 7: Nope, I'm fine.
Speaker 4: She wipe eyes and nose on her sleeve.
Speaker 6: No, come on twenty for this bottle and a second
Speaker 6: bottle for ten thirty dollars total, and you'll never have
Speaker 6: a mess again. Did I mention this stuff will last
Speaker 6: you a good five years?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: You didn't mention that. But is that another gross estimation?
Speaker 7: Shut up and buy this. Come on thirty dollars right now.
Speaker 6: Hmmm.
Speaker 4: Get to the end of the story, David.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, fine, thirty dollars. Let me just go get
Speaker 2: my wallet.
Speaker 4: Wait, that's it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all you had to do was wait five more seconds,
Speaker 2: and my story would have ended on its own volition.
Speaker 4: Your own volition.
Speaker 2: Huh, whatever, the story's over.
Speaker 4: What happened after you got your wallet?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, she just wasn't here anymore.
Speaker 4: Maybe she left.
Speaker 2: No, that's her sales bag right there.
Speaker 4: She could have left it.
Speaker 2: I never heard the front door open, not until you
Speaker 2: got home. I've searched everywhere.
Speaker 5: Okay, well, she has to still be in the house.
Speaker 5: Maybe she's hiding.
Speaker 2: That's what I thought. But I checked everywhere. I even
Speaker 2: thought back to our drunken Hide and Seek knights.
Speaker 5: So you checked the cupboards, the hamper, the closets.
Speaker 2: I checked everywhere. I can't find her. Becky Becky, Becky
Speaker 2: phil Nicky.
Speaker 4: Time did you just hear that?
Speaker 2: I did?
Speaker 5: Oh my god, that's her, Becky Finnicky, Becky phil Nikki.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's her. But where is she?
Speaker 7: I'm right here?
Speaker 2: Where Becky phil Nikki?
Speaker 4: Where did she die? She a ghost?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 9: I had an accident.
Speaker 7: I dropped some spot on myself And.
Speaker 2: What are you serious?
Speaker 9: I'm so serious.
Speaker 2: I thought it was just for sponts and stains.
Speaker 9: And this one lady I still like stup Frum called
Speaker 9: me a stain society, So I.
Speaker 7: Guess they were.
Speaker 4: The cleaner. Is that literal? Yeah?
Speaker 2: How does that make any sense?
Speaker 9: Why are you always trying to make this everywhere?
Speaker 2: Okay, let's ask my friend Case what he thinks. Case
Speaker 2: if someone says something takes forty five minutes?
Speaker 9: Idiot?
Speaker 4: So wait, are you dead?
Speaker 9: I don't see.
Speaker 4: And why you talking like that?
Speaker 7: Oh? I don't know.
Speaker 2: See, this is why I'm always trying to make sense
Speaker 2: of everything, because you keep saying and doing weird shit.
Speaker 2: Becky Phil Nikki Okay.
Speaker 7: Okay, well, now what are we gonna do it?
Speaker 2: What do you mean?
Speaker 7: I'm stuck?
Speaker 2: Are you in the room with us? Can you see me?
Speaker 2: How many fingers am I holding up?
Speaker 7: I can't see you?
Speaker 4: What about me?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 2: What do you see?
Speaker 7: I'm in some kind of weird voight. I'm surrounded by
Speaker 7: stainley spots. I think this is where they go to die.
Speaker 4: How do you get up? Then?
Speaker 7: How the hell should I know?
Speaker 4: It's your product, isn't it?
Speaker 7: This has never happened before. I'm usually super carefure.
Speaker 5: Okay, well, I want to make dinner, so I guess
Speaker 5: if you don't know what to do, can you just leave?
Speaker 7: Sure?
Speaker 6: Sure?
Speaker 9: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I just wanted to avoid looking for health even
Speaker 6: though I'll probably never find any.
Speaker 7: I'll just be alone forever.
Speaker 6: It's not like i'd have any luck in the real
Speaker 6: world anyways.
Speaker 7: I always stuck.
Speaker 8: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Ah, that's really sad, But time wasn't really that sad.
Speaker 4: As he roll mated through their grocery pegs.
Speaker 2: Damn it, case you forgot sweet potatoes. You promise you
Speaker 2: would make sweet potatoes tonight.
Speaker 5: I'm not going back to the grocery store. That asshole Fred.
Speaker 4: Was the only cashier, and I'm not talking to him again.
Speaker 5: That guy is a stain on an otherwise great shopping experience.
Speaker 4: Just then Time half an idea.
Speaker 8: Then twenty minutes later, Time and Case were in the
Speaker 8: grocery store.
Speaker 2: Hey, fred Ooh look who it is? The guy who
Speaker 2: doesn't even know what granulated garlic is?
Speaker 4: Want your garlck my balls?
Speaker 8: Case spray Fred right in his stupid face, And moments
Speaker 8: later they told Harry Man disappears.
Speaker 2: I think it worked.
Speaker 4: Hey, it wereked.
Speaker 2: Talk normally Fred. Oh, okay, where the hell am I?
Speaker 2: And who are you? Where are we avoid? Oh?
Speaker 4: You guys escape each other company.
Speaker 2: But she's ugly.
Speaker 7: And he has a small penis.
Speaker 2: How do you know? I can just tell it's the
Speaker 2: best either of you can do. Trust us. Hey, there's
Speaker 2: no food here or water? How will we survive? You
Speaker 2: probably won't probably gonna die? Seriously, Yeah, well that sucks.
Speaker 4: Share does Coductor.
Speaker 1: Cop Doctors?
Speaker 2: Written by Robert M Lamb, edited by Claude c Starring
Speaker 2: Robert M. Lamb as time and Jack Austen as case
Speaker 2: and narrator, co starring Ashley Cartesano and Rhino Alberts.
Speaker 1: Music provided by Kevin McCloud of incompetec dot com. Additional
Speaker 1: tracks from various artists on pondfive dot com and artlist
Speaker 1: dot io. If you enjoy this podcast, don't forget to
Speaker 1: rate and review and visit www dot seven lamb dot
Speaker 1: com for more podcasts such as this one.
Speaker 2: And we want to thank everyone who has donated on
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Speaker 3: We appreciate the support and we want to give a
Speaker 3: special shout out to our seven Lamb patrons, Brad McQuaid,
Speaker 3: Chris Williamson, Carter Jewel, Daniel Wolfman, Kelly Fowles, Aiden Holmes,
Speaker 3: and Kelly Lamont. From everyone here at seven Lamb, thank you.
Speaker 2: This has been a seven Lamb production.