Speaker 1: Seven, Lamb Productions Presents.
Speaker 2: Cop Doctors.
Speaker 3: Episode thirty four, The Spot By.
Speaker 4: God. I'm home and I'm gonna start cooking dinner. You'll
never guess. So I saw at the grocery store.
Speaker 5: That asshole cashier always makes fun of me when I
don't know a food or spice.
Speaker 2: Shut the door, Shut the door? What shut the door?
Speaker 4: Case quick time? Wasn't a frontic state that's going on?
Speaker 2: I lost her and I didn't want her to get out.
Speaker 5: Oh, Becky phil Nicky, Who the hell is Becky phil NICKI?
Speaker 2: About five minutes after you left for the store, this
lady shows up at our door.
Speaker 6: Yes, hello there, my name is Becky Philniki, and I'm
here to talk to you about a new revolutionary cleaning
solution that will help make your place spotless.
Speaker 2: Oh uh no, thanks, I'm not looking to buy anything.
Speaker 7: But this isn't just anything. This here is revolutionary. It's
called spot Destroyer and it will clean everything from.
Speaker 6: Carpets to windows, to toilets to buttholes, and it'll do
it in less than forty five minutes.
Speaker 2: Forty five minutes that seems long.
Speaker 7: I said, less than forty five minutes. Don't be a deaf, dumbass.
Speaker 2: Hey, don't insult the daff.
Speaker 7: Why they can't hear me? Mack, come in, But.
Speaker 8: VICKI didn't wait for a response. She buds right inside.
Past time.
Speaker 2: Hey, wait a second, I'll only be a moment.
Speaker 6: Let me just give you a quick demonstration to show
you just how much you need this stuff in your life.
Speaker 4: Wait, you let her inside?
Speaker 2: She barged right in. Please, stiff arm, will you let
me continue?
Speaker 4: Go ahead, see.
Speaker 6: Just a couple quicks, please, and you let it soak
for thirty seconds.
Speaker 2: Thirty seconds, it's gonna.
Speaker 8: Soaki pulled out a rug and statid scruping.
Speaker 7: Then you scrubbed the carpet clean, simple as that.
Speaker 2: Then why did you say forty five minutes.
Speaker 6: Less than forty five minutes? I said less than forty
five minutes? Jesus Christ, I wish I was talking to
a deaf person instead of you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but why say forty five minutes?
Speaker 7: I don't know? Why is the sky blue? Why are
there twenty four hours in a day? Why are baby sea.
Speaker 6: Turtles stupid getting distracted by traffic lights thinking they're the moon?
Speaker 7: What I mean? Why can I find a husband?
Speaker 2: I don't know the answers to those questions. I'm just
saying your forty five minutes is a gross estimation.
Speaker 7: You are a gross estimation.
Speaker 2: Hey, that is probably why you can't find a husband.
You're mean.
Speaker 5: So not only did you let a person inside up place,
you let a mean person inside up place.
Speaker 2: I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Speaker 4: Time. Are you gonna get to the end of this story?
Speaker 2: If you stop interrupting my flashbacks.
Speaker 4: I'll hurry it up. I'm hungry and want to start cooking.
Speaker 2: Fine.
Speaker 9: See, and just like that.
Speaker 7: The spot is gone.
Speaker 2: Whoa, that's pretty good. Told you what about that spot
there and that one there?
Speaker 6: This product will get rid of them all. Hey, are
you just trying to get me to clean your carpet?
Speaker 7: Yeah, well I'm not going to.
Speaker 6: But if you buy this right now, I'll give you
a second bottle half off. You could have your living
room done in no time and still have plenty left
for the dining room, kitchen, bathroom, and your very own butthole.
Speaker 7: Hmm, you're still not sold. Huh.
Speaker 2: It's just I'm wary of door to door salespeople.
Speaker 6: But I just showed you how this works on carpet
I'm telling you it'll get rid of any grease, stain,
any smudge, any spot. It's the best cleaning product you'll
ever buy. It can do absolutely anything except I guess
find me a husband.
Speaker 2: Wait are you crying?
Speaker 7: Nope, I'm fine.
Speaker 4: She wipe eyes and nose on her sleeve.
Speaker 6: No, come on twenty for this bottle and a second
bottle for ten thirty dollars total, and you'll never have
a mess again. Did I mention this stuff will last
you a good five years?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: You didn't mention that. But is that another gross estimation?
Speaker 7: Shut up and buy this. Come on thirty dollars right now.
Speaker 6: Hmmm.
Speaker 4: Get to the end of the story, David.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, fine, thirty dollars. Let me just go get
my wallet.
Speaker 4: Wait, that's it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all you had to do was wait five more seconds,
and my story would have ended on its own volition.
Speaker 4: Your own volition.
Speaker 2: Huh, whatever, the story's over.
Speaker 4: What happened after you got your wallet?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, she just wasn't here anymore.
Speaker 4: Maybe she left.
Speaker 2: No, that's her sales bag right there.
Speaker 4: She could have left it.
Speaker 2: I never heard the front door open, not until you
got home. I've searched everywhere.
Speaker 5: Okay, well, she has to still be in the house.
Maybe she's hiding.
Speaker 2: That's what I thought. But I checked everywhere. I even
thought back to our drunken Hide and Seek knights.
Speaker 5: So you checked the cupboards, the hamper, the closets.
Speaker 2: I checked everywhere. I can't find her. Becky Becky, Becky
phil Nicky.
Speaker 4: Time did you just hear that?
Speaker 2: I did?
Speaker 5: Oh my god, that's her, Becky Finnicky, Becky phil Nikki.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's her. But where is she?
Speaker 7: I'm right here?
Speaker 2: Where Becky phil Nikki?
Speaker 4: Where did she die? She a ghost?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 9: I had an accident.
Speaker 7: I dropped some spot on myself And.
Speaker 2: What are you serious?
Speaker 9: I'm so serious.
Speaker 2: I thought it was just for sponts and stains.
Speaker 9: And this one lady I still like stup Frum called
me a stain society, So I.
Speaker 7: Guess they were.
Speaker 4: The cleaner. Is that literal? Yeah?
Speaker 2: How does that make any sense?
Speaker 9: Why are you always trying to make this everywhere?
Speaker 2: Okay, let's ask my friend Case what he thinks. Case
if someone says something takes forty five minutes?
Speaker 9: Idiot?
Speaker 4: So wait, are you dead?
Speaker 9: I don't see.
Speaker 4: And why you talking like that?
Speaker 7: Oh? I don't know.
Speaker 2: See, this is why I'm always trying to make sense
of everything, because you keep saying and doing weird shit.
Becky Phil Nikki Okay.
Speaker 7: Okay, well, now what are we gonna do it?
Speaker 2: What do you mean?
Speaker 7: I'm stuck?
Speaker 2: Are you in the room with us? Can you see me?
How many fingers am I holding up?
Speaker 7: I can't see you?
Speaker 4: What about me?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 2: What do you see?
Speaker 7: I'm in some kind of weird voight. I'm surrounded by
stainley spots. I think this is where they go to die.
Speaker 4: How do you get up? Then?
Speaker 7: How the hell should I know?
Speaker 4: It's your product, isn't it?
Speaker 7: This has never happened before. I'm usually super carefure.
Speaker 5: Okay, well, I want to make dinner, so I guess
if you don't know what to do, can you just leave?
Speaker 7: Sure?
Speaker 6: Sure?
Speaker 9: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I just wanted to avoid looking for health even
though I'll probably never find any.
Speaker 7: I'll just be alone forever.
Speaker 6: It's not like i'd have any luck in the real
world anyways.
Speaker 7: I always stuck.
Speaker 8: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Ah, that's really sad, But time wasn't really that sad.
Speaker 4: As he roll mated through their grocery pegs.
Speaker 2: Damn it, case you forgot sweet potatoes. You promise you
would make sweet potatoes tonight.
Speaker 5: I'm not going back to the grocery store. That asshole Fred.
Speaker 4: Was the only cashier, and I'm not talking to him again.
Speaker 5: That guy is a stain on an otherwise great shopping experience.
Speaker 4: Just then Time half an idea.
Speaker 8: Then twenty minutes later, Time and Case were in the
grocery store.
Speaker 2: Hey, fred Ooh look who it is? The guy who
doesn't even know what granulated garlic is?
Speaker 4: Want your garlck my balls?
Speaker 8: Case spray Fred right in his stupid face, And moments
later they told Harry Man disappears.
Speaker 2: I think it worked.
Speaker 4: Hey, it wereked.
Speaker 2: Talk normally Fred. Oh, okay, where the hell am I?
And who are you? Where are we avoid? Oh?
Speaker 4: You guys escape each other company.
Speaker 2: But she's ugly.
Speaker 7: And he has a small penis.
Speaker 2: How do you know? I can just tell it's the
best either of you can do. Trust us. Hey, there's
no food here or water? How will we survive? You
probably won't probably gonna die? Seriously, Yeah, well that sucks.
Speaker 4: Share does Coductor.
Speaker 1: Cop Doctors?
Speaker 2: Written by Robert M Lamb, edited by Claude c Starring
Robert M. Lamb as time and Jack Austen as case
and narrator, co starring Ashley Cartesano and Rhino Alberts.
Speaker 1: Music provided by Kevin McCloud of incompetec dot com. Additional
tracks from various artists on pondfive dot com and artlist
dot io. If you enjoy this podcast, don't forget to
rate and review and visit www dot seven lamb dot
com for more podcasts such as this one.
Speaker 2: And we want to thank everyone who has donated on
our PayPal and our Patreon page.
Speaker 3: We appreciate the support and we want to give a
special shout out to our seven Lamb patrons, Brad McQuaid,
Chris Williamson, Carter Jewel, Daniel Wolfman, Kelly Fowles, Aiden Holmes,
and Kelly Lamont. From everyone here at seven Lamb, thank you.
Speaker 2: This has been a seven Lamb production.