Speaker 1: Made destange a pace sunny sun on I haddasion my night.
Speaker 2: What's up everybody, it's me Stephanie again opening the show. Oh,
it's just my voice. But guess what, I have a
fantastic guest today. Kaylin's also here give you comfort of home.
But I am so pleased to bring in my friend
of a lot of years now.
Speaker 1: I know, I just feel like for how many it's
probably been eight.
Speaker 2: Let's figure it out.
Speaker 1: What was the San Francisco show God twenty kind of
when We Fell in Love nineteen?
Speaker 2: Was that in twenty nineteen or twenty seven?
Speaker 1: Now, it would have been earlier than twenty nine seventeen, Yeah, probably, Oh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because it wasn't just a year before COVID Anyways,
Robin Wazinski, that's my friend and yours. She's been a
guest on the show before, too to great.
Speaker 1: I don't know a palm.
Speaker 2: Yes, everybody loved her. You you you. You've talked about
a lot of like personal stuff on this show.
Speaker 1: I even did a Patreon.
Speaker 2: You did a Patreon that was very personal and touched
a lot of people. How's it going, Kaitlin? Where are
you going? Just wandering around?
Speaker 1: Oh? Okay? Sorry, I'm an amateur.
Speaker 2: We run a very loose ship here.
Speaker 1: It's nice with video games. It's beautiful in here. You
guys did it.
Speaker 2: So you haven't been in the studio. Okay, so it's
been at least two years since you've been on the show.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really nice. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 2: You have so much news to share, and I want
to get to that news. But I just want to
say hi. I'm want to say hello to our favorite people,
like Rebecca a little bit. She's your friend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's in my pocket right now because she's a
little cute.
Speaker 2: You're golays so cute. And Kelly Brandt, She's she's gonna
take you places that you want to go. Alicia Ascalante,
Leslie still coughing, Aaron's a dirty Sanchez, Jennifer stet up, Sandra,
it's not easy being green. Stephanie's a stinker rinker. Athena.
We really love your makeup, everything about you. You're dancing
all the stuff you Sean. Oh yeah, uh, Missy and
Gabby saw your videos on our in our Facebook group.
You guys are hilarious, right m hm. Katerina, you know
you know Valerie hits it out of the Park, Polly,
We Love your Pancakes, Rita is rock and Elizabeth Williamson's
one hundred Children and her bassiet Nikki call Your Girl,
Katie's rolling on e Kelly Lattie Dah and Dick is
frolicking all right, Yeah, yeah, baby. You know what's funny
is I do the editing for our classic f col
shows on Thursdays.
Speaker 1: I was sening. So is that the first time you've
ever listened to the podcast when you've edited it? Because
you always yes. But I hate listening.
Speaker 2: I hate listen, Yeah, I do. I do hate listening,
but yeah, I've gotten kind of used to it because
I have to listen to shows to find old good episodes, right,
And what's funny is listening to the old shouts because
some of the people I'm like, oh my god, I
forgot about her? Yeah, have any of Some of them
are no, but some of them have just been around forever,
and I'm like, wow, these people have been supporting us
for like ten years.
Speaker 1: It's so loyal. I love that.
Speaker 2: I know. All Right, So you're kind of sleepy today.
Speaker 1: Yep, I am operating on about an hour and a
half of sleep.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I didn't know it was that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So that's that's my excuse if this goes totally sideway.
Speaker 2: Okay, so why are you so tired?
Speaker 1: Okay? Do you do you want me to like start
at the.
Speaker 2: Beginning, Yes, start at the beginning.
Speaker 1: Okay. So me and Wade, my husband, we are dog people.
We have always had dogs, and our last set were
Pumpkin and Pepper are sweet little Wire her dog sins
and Pumpkin died about a year ago, and previous the
previous two years to losing her were very labor intensive
because she was diabetic and super sick and then got dementia,
so a lot of early morning, sleepless nights, and so
then you know, so by the time we said goodbye
to her, like I was ready to be without a dog.
And I made this proclamation like I think we're done
with dogs, Like I'm good. We can travel, we don't
have to have your parents' dogs that like, I'm I'm good.
I've had a lifetime of dogs. I'm good.
Speaker 2: And I can attest to that because I was like,
are you going to get another dog? And you were like, no,
absolutely not. You sounded kind of bitchy. Yeah, you were
like very stern.
Speaker 1: Yep, you told me that, so thank you.
Speaker 2: I was like, wow, Okay.
Speaker 1: So then I, you know, little by little, because it's
been just over a year, I start noticing, like I'm
looking at a lot of dogs on Instagram, and my
friend Janice came over with her little Remy, who's the sweetest,
and you know, I started getting that pull.
Speaker 2: Kaki fever.
Speaker 1: But I'm not going to say anything, you know, like
this when I'm keeping myself. And then Wade like walks
into the room a couple of weeks ago and said,
you know, when you're ready for another dog, I'm ready
to And I'm like shit because I was hoping he'd
be like the barrier. So anyway, it was sort of
floating out into the universe. And I was in Vegas
this weekend and Janice the one was said, Remy texts
me from Venice and there's an adoption event and they
text me a pat.
Speaker 2: So had you shared with Janice that you were maybe
open to getting a dog?
Speaker 1: You know what, when they were over for Wade's birthday
a couple of weeks ago, they we were talking about it.
So of course she gets it in her head and
she's a total pusher, you know what I mean, Like
everyone should have a dog. So she's on the lookout
now and so sends me this picture and I'm like, oh,
and his name is Tabasco. And I would say, okay,
I'm in Vegas, so text Wade and next thing I know,
there's this group text and then Wade's texting me separately
if you're ready. I am, and it's like okay, we're
in and Janice is ecstatic and this is all happening
via text. So she leaves, she had gone home, she
leaves to go back to the event to try to
get him, and it.
Speaker 2: So she doesn't have any connection to these people, right.
Speaker 1: I know. Janice is the kind that, now that she's
met them, she does do you know. I'm sure she's
introduced herself. They know we're dog now they so she's
she's kind of like you in that way.
Speaker 2: Why does she go to adoption events if is she
thinking about also getting another dog?
Speaker 1: She loves dogs? Okay, and they were they live in Venice,
so I'm sure they were just out on a walk
and you know, I'm sure part of it was circumstantial, right,
And uh So she goes back and texts me and says, okay, well,
you have to fill it an application, and apparently Tabasca
was the most popular dog at the event, so you
need to make it good. And so we start texting
bullet points and she's like, oh, I'm gonna start working
on your application.
Speaker 2: And when you sent me a picture of the dog,
and I was like, oh, hell, yes, yeah, I know
this dog is freaking cute. We'll post a picture already post.
Speaker 1: It, okay, only on my small Facebook pok okay, so
you'll post it in the group. And so now the
tide has like everyone knows this. It's like a human flaw.
Like you're logical and rational about things until you make
the decision like now I want to talk. Yeah, and
there's no turning back. And I'm like literally talking about
like how do we find the other people applying and
like maybe docs them or like whatever needs to happen.
I want this dog. And so uh went back to
the hotel in Vegas and you know, we pieced together
this great application and hear nothing. I told you to
be funny too, and I there was a little bit
of funny, okay, And then you kept texting me, have
you heard anything? Have you heard any I'm like, no,
it's I mean, I this was Saturday night. Then Sunday.
I'm like, they probably don't work on Sunday. I flew
home and literally when I walk in the door from Vegas,
I get an email that says we'd like to move
forward with your adoption. And I like, I start crying,
and when can we FaceTime you to do like a
digital home inspection or whatever. And I'm like, oh my god,
I'm home right now, call me right now. And uh
so it all like within an hour though. So wait,
so she face times you, she face times me, and.
Speaker 2: You have to like walk into your backyard and show
all the fencing exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she kind of just tells me Tabasco's history
that he's been an owner surrender. The owner has the
mother who was supposedly Spade and wasn't got pregnant and
had at least two puppies. She was surrendered with the
mom and Tabasco and Tabasco.
Speaker 2: So the owners just got rid of all the dogs.
Speaker 1: I don't know the circumstances behind it, you know what
I mean, But we do know that they always lived outside.
They had never been in a house. They had minimal
or no human interaction. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: So this poor mama dog had her babies probably outside.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so they were pretty worried about socializing them, and
they said almost immediately, the sister and the mom were,
you know, all over the rescue and Tabasco took a
little bit longer, but cuddly. He loves to be in
your lap. He wants you to hold him. So I
within an hour. The person who was fostering him was
in Woodland Hills and she was at the house with
our new baby yesterday.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so the beginning, how did that?
Speaker 1: It was good? You know? She I always call her
she because three of our last word dogs have been female. He.
By the way, we're not calling him Tabasco because a
three syllable dog name is too long.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So we've kind and I know you have an issue
with this, Stephanie, but I want you to try to
accept it. We're calling him Bosco, got it, because Basco
is not a name, and it could be, but we're
calling them Bosco.
Speaker 2: I mean, Bosco's cute, and it's you know, I think
brown dog's name Bosco is you know, it's a it's
an homage to Bosco, isn't it. Wasn't it Bosco the
kind of chocolate sauce you put.
Speaker 1: Oh, I don't know, but Bosco. Our dog is white?
Speaker 2: You have had a Bossco? Oh no, you're not our.
Speaker 1: Current Yeah he's totally white.
Speaker 2: Oh okay. So yeah, so so it doesn't make sense
on several loves.
Speaker 1: One is even a Baco should be like a like
a red labordoodle, right, so correct, or maybe he has.
Speaker 2: But the dog was misnamed to begin with exactly, But
I'm with you. Like when we got Penelope, we were
they called her Penny and Penelope, but the rescue where
that took her in was calling her Pepo so we
which we thought was so dorky at the time, you know,
but then you're like, we we went through all these
different names. We were going to call her Babbeloo, and
we had different names because it was named after our
favorite restaurant in Santa Monica that was where John and
I kind of we had some dates there. Anyway, point
being is in the end we were like, seems just
mean to try to change her name completely.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we sort of where we were at too, Yeah,
where it has to be some form of what he's
been called before.
Speaker 2: Right, And that's how we felt. We were like, well,
what are we going to call her? That sounds like
Penelope or Pepo? Besides, just let's just keep it.
Speaker 1: You could call her like Penelope or Pepo, which you know,
we went with that. Okay, so and Bosco Bosco. And
so this is interesting too in our application because we
know he has a sister who's a letter mate. We've
always had littermates and we've always had two dogs, so
we put that we would take the sister too. But
when they emailed me, it just was talking about Tabasco.
So I asked the rescue about it, and she said,
we never adopt littermates together because there's something called littermates syndrome,
and it's where they either are aggressive with each other
or they don't connect with the humans. And I thought
that's kind of crazy because we've experienced both with littermates,
and Wade kind of refuses to believe that that's actually
a thing. But I think it's really valid, especially if
a reputable rescue has made this decision, because rescues are
not about like separating dogs who need to be together. Yeah,
so that was interesting. So it will be the first
time that we only have one dog and okay, sorry,
I should have just turned my phone off. Someone was
calling me. I don't. So we get him. He's a
little nervous but exploring, and let's us hold him and
love him. And then I swear to you, the second
the sun went down, he's like agitated and just wants
to be outside. And it was a rough night. He
cried and howled and paced, and I finally got him
to settle in our bed, and so I think that's
probably where he'll be sleeping, which I also said would
never happen again.
Speaker 2: But well, so when we got Penelope, they told us
I don't remember what they said about where she slept,
but we were like, our bed was a queen sized
bed at that time, and it's sparely enough room for us,
you know, And we remembered back when the kid would
sleep well, Elbe would sleep in our bed. Sometimes Elbe
slept in our bed when she was really little. Then
was she made it to her own bed and was
fine for a number for years. I feel like it's
when that we had the twins. Yeah, so she was three.
Right around that time I think she started she would
get upset and come in our room in the middle
of the night and sleep in our room, in our bed,
and it was pretty awful for a few years because
there was just no room because she wasn't a tiny baby.
Now she's like a three year old. She's got a
big body, and we were like, oh my god, this sucks.
That went on for a why a long time, I
want to say, like at least a year and a
half or so of until she was a little bit older.
And then finally one night I had to talk with
her and I was like, we just don't have room
in our bed for you. Oh no, this was Elbe.
So this was Elbe when she was little. So when
we got Penelope, we were like, we're not having a
dog in our bed because it was sixty pounds.
Speaker 1: I was like, we don't have room for this.
Speaker 2: Dog in our bed. And John and I were both like, yeah,
we're gonna be strong because we finally got Elbe out
of the bed. Now we can't we can't be like
having a sixty pound dog in our bed. So we
bought her like a nice dog bed and it was
right at the foot of our bed, but our bed's
kind of high, so it's not like we could see her.
And she wasn't, so we were and this went on
for like six months. She slept in her dog bed,
but she would always whine to want to come up
in our bed, and we were like, nope, be strong,
because we'd heard once they're in your bed, they're not
out of your bed. It's like a kid, yeah, right right,
So we were like no, no, no, no no. And
then one day John looked at me and I looked
at John and he was like, I don't know. She
would just like let her up here, and I was like, yeah,
let's just let her up here. Never we could never
look back because she was so happy curled up with us,
fell asleep and was like, couldn't have been happier. And
then would always like stand by the bed and want
to get up on the bed and we would be
like all right, And then that was it. And then
that's what made us go like, Okay, if we're moving
into a new room, we're getting a king sized bed
so that because this is ridiculous, because it was like
having a big child. It was a third person in
her bed, right, But bosc Go's little.
Speaker 1: Bosco's little. He's only ten pounds and.
Speaker 2: He'll sleep at the foot of your bed probably when
he gets used to.
Speaker 1: It, and it actually doesn't really matter to me. I
mean after last night and he didn't settle in until
five am.
Speaker 2: So what was he doing though? Was he getting agitated
and wanting to get off the bed and wanting to
go outside?
Speaker 1: Yes, and then he would walk around because we have
a crate, because he slept in a crate. Well, it
was funny, the foster, she said, well, he sleeps in
a crate, but he actually slept in my bed.
Speaker 2: The foster said that, okay.
Speaker 1: And I you know, I think he'll probably be okay
sleeping anywhere once he knows he's safe and he's staying
and you know, nothing bad is going to happen to him.
But I so today I'm actually going to call a
trainer just because I want to talk to someone and
meet with someone about like, I mean, talk about attachment
and how do we reassure him and you know, because
I've yeah, yeah, yeah, and I think I've probably dealt
with this with my other dogs. But I feel like
I'm actually an adult now with a dog who can
call a trainer to help me and get some guidance
out what's the best way to enter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you might only need like one or two sessions,
But I think that's a good idea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean there is not an aggressive bone
in his body. He is just the sweetest little guy.
So I'm really happy, but really tired.
Speaker 2: I do think it will be a quicker adjustment with
a dog than like an actual baby.
Speaker 1: I do too, Oh of course. Well, I remember when
Jack was born, we had Fox terriers and they're they're
a lot of dog. They're naughty and self you know,
they're they don't care what you think about them. But
we Wade and Hair sitting on the couch and I
think I was nursing and Dotton Dasher just kind of
in the living room, and Wade looks at me and
he said, isn't it weird that our dogs are so
much smarter than Jack at this age? She was like,
they know their name, they go outside to pee. It's
like Jack's not gonna know any of that. For a
long time, I thought that is kind of weird. They're
much more self sufficient than humans.
Speaker 2: But then they kind of top out, you know what
I mean?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Absolutely, yeah, I mean, and they can't like solve math problems,
even like kind of basic exact ones.
Speaker 1: They can't make their own dinner.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, they're like they stand there by their bowl
like waiting for you to do it.
Speaker 1: It's like open the refrigerator.
Speaker 2: With your pause. Use your pause.
Speaker 1: God gave you pause for a reason.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It's like you can't do anything. You can't open
the front door and go out for a little walk
and come back.
Speaker 1: My God, you can't refill your water. God just you
always play the victim.
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Speaker 1: Wow, you're good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just you're really bringing me back to like
the early days with Pepo and I am remembering that.
Like when we first got her. First of all, she
was very attached to Annie, who was the person who
had the rescue, and she'd been with Annie for six
weeks and she did not when we went to meet her.
She had like no interest in us because she was
very focused on Annie. And I was kind of freaked
out about it, like, oh, I don't know, Like I
don't know why you think the dog is going to
be immediately see you and recognize her new owners, the
people who have come to save her and give her
a new life. She was like, no, thank you, I'm
good where I am. I even said to Annie after
we'd met her and I was starting to have a
little bit of cold feet. I was like, I don't know, like,
are you sure you don't want to keep her? Like
she's very attached to you, And Annie was like, yeah,
I can't keep her, like I got six in my
house right now, Like it's I'm trying to like, no,
it's going to be great, you'll see, and I'm like,
I don't know. She did not want to have anything
to do with anybody in our family. She just we
went to this place to meet her. It was like
a pet food store and they were doing the adoption
event and we tried to walk her outside and all
she did was cry and pull back inside because she
wanted back with her with Annie.
Speaker 1: So how long did it take?
Speaker 2: So when she was like, Okay, you're getting the dog,
I'm gonna just be totally honest, I was really worried.
I was not feeling like, oh my god, this is
our dog. I can't wait. I was like, I don't
I don't know how this is going to go because
she doesn't want she doesn't want a new home. She
wants the home she's in right now, and I feel
like I'm taking her away. So Annie had like an
assistance and somebody that works with the rescue but who
wasn't attached to the dog. She had her come and
take Penelope to us. Oh that's a good idea, yeah,
And then so she came in the house. So she
wasn't crying for this woman because she didn't really know
her that well. So she was pretty sweet like the
first day. But I don't think that I think it
took well, oh, here's what happened. She was totally fine,
and she was We weren't like super attached to her
though yet at this point, and I'll tell you why,
because she wasn't like attached to us yet. But once
she'd spent like a few nights, she started to develop
a routine. And it's always so hard to figure out
what your dog's routine is because at first we were
taking her on a lot of walks a day because
we're like, well, she's probably gonna have to go at
like eleven o'clock at night, so we would take her,
you know, in the morning, and then in the afternoon
and then like in the evening and then late night.
So that because we didn't know if she could sleep
through the night.
Speaker 1: So how did she do it? Night?
Speaker 2: So this dog did sleep through the night from the
get go, Oka, But she was already we think probably
three or four, right what they told us she was
a year, but I don't think she was a year.
I think she was older. And so she went to
sleep all night, So we didn't really have that, but
she did get she had allergies, she had other stuff
going on that was like difficult at the beginning, like
some medical stuff. But anyway, I remember taking her back
to go visit Annie and her being like so happy
to see Annie, and it was a worried me a
little bit because she was like it was like her
long lot, like her mom. Like she ran at her
and like jumped on her and was hugging on her.
But we did it another like six months later, and
she cried for us, like she would look wanted to
see where we were. And I remember thinking, Oh, now
she's fully our dogs, Like she doesn't want Annie anymore,
she wants us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she like shifted her attachment, yes, and she.
Speaker 2: Was like so, but I mean she was attached to
us well before that, but I mean at that point,
I was like, oh, she doesn't even see Annie as
her primary attachment at all. And she was fully like Ann.
It's I think six months in is when we relented
and let her sleep in the bed. And I think
from then on too, she's just she's this dog is
like a pack animal. Yes, but she chose me and John.
And the one thing that's been hard is like she
never attached to the kids.
Speaker 1: Oh that I I wonder if that's pretty typical though.
Speaker 2: Even we tried for a while to have the kids
be in charge of like feeding her and being the
one Nope, she doesn't care.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was that yesterday. Bosco fell asleep on Jack's
lapp and I was at Petco getting all the gear
and Wade sent me a picture like, Oh, it was
just so nice because I mean we've always had dogs
with Jack growing up, but in a certain way they
haven't been his you know, kind of like you're saying
with your kids. And now that he's twenty two and
is so much more aware of like how you engage
with a dog and love a dog, I feel like
this will you know, be his dog too.
Speaker 2: So that's a good lead into so what is going
on with Jack as your son? He has autism. You
one time that you were on the show a couple
times ago, you told us the whole story, and I
re aired that episode, Oh wow with you telling the
story of him as a little kid. But he's come
a super long way. He's been to college.
Speaker 1: Yeah and back yep. Yeah. So he went to junior
college for two years because he twenty twenty kid, So
the world shut down his senior year, which was devastating
for me and I don't think he really gave a
shit because he had never graduated from high school. So
he did two years of junior college completely online.
Speaker 2: Wow, So his senior year was at home.
Speaker 1: Yes, well, the last three months of his senior.
Speaker 2: Year, Okay, so he was like from March, right, and
then he was So then the whole first year of
junior college was home.
Speaker 1: And it ended up being the first he went both
years online because junior colleges had a much harder time
getting back in person just because of the cost.
Speaker 2: Okay, interesting, for some reason, I had it in my
head that it was like an online school.
Speaker 1: No, it was College of the Canyons, College of coc At,
College of the Canyons. And I think he made the
choice really to stay in digital class is because I
know there are classes he could have done on campus,
and so he did go in some that second year,
but it was just so convenient, you know, to be
doing it online.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: And then he went through the whole application process to
transfer and got a lot of acceptances to a lot
of good schools. Because I'm trying to think the first one,
I think the first one he got was UC Davis,
and you know, he was super excited and then he
got San Diego State and Cal State Long Beach and
Cal State North, all the Cal states. He wanted to
go to his first choice, and.
Speaker 2: I think he got UCSD. You're right, yeah, so that.
Speaker 1: You were just that's right. I forgot about that.
Speaker 2: Do I remember more about your child than you do?
Speaker 1: Probably? Yeah, yes you do. But he his first choice
was Long Beach and it had been since before he applied,
and so we went and visited. It was so weird
during that time because everything was still kind of shut
down in a weird way, but it wasn't. It was
just hard to get tours. It was. So when we
went to the campus, it was very quiet because it is,
for the large part a commuter school, so it didn't
have that energy that I think he envisioned. And he,
you know, came and he's like, this weekend they're having
an orientation at San Diego State. Can we go? And
the second we walked on campus, he's like, oh, yeah,
I think this is where I want to go. And
he was sold from the moment he stepped on campus.
Speaker 2: So did he ever go on a tour of UCSD.
Speaker 1: No, because when he had done the tour, San Diego
State and then got accepted to UCSD like a week later.
I remember him coming out and saying, I just got
into U see San Diego, Like wow, what are you
going to do? I don't know. What do you think
I should do? Like, well, like make a pro con list,
like go do some research. And he came out ten
minutes later he's like, I'm going to go to San
Diego State. He liked that they had a football team,
he liked that you know they had It was everything
he had sort of envisioned college would be. Uh huh,
and he took advantage of everything everyone in visions college
should be. So is Elbie. Yeah, oh my. He did
graduate in four years and he's back at home now.
And as anyone who has twenty two year old twenty
two year old kids, it's rough out there. It's it's
hard to find a part time job. And it's so
foreign to me because I'm a teacher. My path was
so predetermined. You know, you go to college, you go
and get your credential, you get a teaching job, and
that's what you do. That's for your life, and that's
what I wanted to do. But he has a degree
in communication and there's no set path, and there's not
a credential when you have a communication major. So he's
you know, I'm trying to just give him space because
I'm such a control freak and I want everything to
be decided right now. But it's really been a test
for me in like reminding myself he's twenty two. He
I didn't know if he would ever talk. It's like,
so let's let him figure stuff out. Because very few
people knew what they were going to do with the
rest of their life at twenty two years old.
Speaker 2: So right after he I feel like it was when
he graduated, tell us about out the one, like he
had a couple of job possibilities.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is going to be like a
PSA to people, especially with male children in college. But first,
let me start with the bullet list of things to
tell your autistic kid who's in college that we thought
everyone just knew. So his senior year, it's probably November
and he calls me. He says, great news, mom, we're
all renewing the least together on this house. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
And like we have to sign it by tomorrow or
we're not going to get it. And he's telling me dude,
we don't pay your rent after you graduate. Oh my god.
Oh and it's like God, I guess that should have
been like a sit down of like things. I assume
he knew but didn't, right. So and then I had
the conversation with him because first of all, he was
living My god, it was what do you call it,
like a slum word kind of house. It hid big
house in the neighborhood right across the street from campus,
all sorts of add on. I mean, it's basically like
a slum word version of the Wrigley Mansion, No, the
one who's the gun, uh, the weird mansion near San Francisco,
where like there are staircases that lead nowhere and people.
Speaker 2: Are in castle now.
Speaker 1: People are yelling at the podcast at their radio right now.
It'll come, it'll come to me, okay, and or someone
will tell us. But it some rooms with no wind,
with no windows, no less, no closets, and we're paying
twelve to fifty a month, uh huh, plus utilities, plus
cleaning the pool, and so it's overpriced. It's disgusting, and
he's having a blast. So anyway, that conversation I had
that we will not be paying your rent. So when
you're looking for a job, keep that in mind. So
they had a job there, and he had this very
legitimate interview with a company that does basically like event planning,
and it looked really interesting and I kind of vetted
it and it would have been a great opportunity. He
got a second interview, he didn't get the job. Then
he gets this other interview and God, you're gonna have
to fill in because I have, honestly, for my own protection,
blocked a lot of this out. He's telling me about, Okay,
I got a job offer from this new place. Like
let's say they're like embedded design company or what are
some totally rent right?
Speaker 2: I thought it was like an exterminator company.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that that's another one. Okay, start with that, okay,
because I remember that one more vividly. Hey Mom, I
have this opportunity, say okay. Opportunity has become such a
trigger word for me because it's, oh my god, it's
so bad. I have this opportunity for my roommate to
go live in Washington for the summer and make sixty
thousand dollars. I'm like, okay, can I do it to? Like?
What is this.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's like something with like exterminating or extermination or some
I okay, look into it because it doesn't sound legit.
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 1: Okay, calls me again, Okay, I have an interview tomorrow,
and say interview as we're using that term loosely, and
he calls me back after the interview and says, Okay,
so apparently it's not Washington State. It's Washington, d C.
But I would have to start in Texas and then
go to Washington, d C. And then come home. But
I got all the details. Okay, so where do you live?
I don't know how much do they pay you? Well,
if you make your quota, of course you get like
ten thousand a week. What if you don't make your quota?
I don't know what's the name of the company. I
don't know. That's when I would have like, what the
fuck did you ask them? Because you haven't been able
to answer.
Speaker 2: But I got all the details.
Speaker 1: I have all the DC MOMB totally no worries. So
I hang up, just go, oh my god, it's some
weird like multi level marketing thing. I honestly, all I
have to put into Google is exterminating college student scam.
And the company comes up and I don't remember what
they're called, but basically they send these kids door to
door trying to sell extermination contracts and then they sell
them to like termin X. But who's going to make
their quota? And it totally preys on, I think, on
young men because they are really appealing to their masculinity,
and because Jack is already has like their talk, I said, well,
what happens if you don't make your quota? Well, I
am going to make my quota because I'm not afraid
of hard work. Oh and the people who don't make
their quota, like they don't get what it takes to succeed.
And that he's already repeating clearly.
Speaker 2: What he's been told in this listen. I'm always I'm
abc always be closing.
Speaker 1: I got it, So I look. I had a little
sit down with him and I said, Okay, so let's
just play out worst case scenario. You don't make your quota.
You live in their housing and it's eight hundred dollars
a month. You have to pay for your plane ticket
to Texas, you have to pay for your plane ticket
to Washington. You have to pay for your plane ticket home.
You would be leaving a month before your lease and
you'd have to be paying me twelve hundred dollars for
rent for a house you're not at right, you will
end up owing money. So do you want to spend
your last summer in San Diego going door to door
in one hundred and twelve degree Texas heat? Or do
you want to stay with your roommates in Sandy Let
go and for the last time have no responsibility. And
that's sold.
Speaker 2: So he went to Texas.
Speaker 1: Now he's still there?
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Great timing for that, yeah, exactly, So what was the other?
Then there was another one though too, that was another sales.
Speaker 1: Thing, another sales thing, and they all they get themselves
onto these college apps. I forget what they're called, but
there's one specific one where kids look for jobs who
are in or graduating from college or trying to get
an internship. And again he goes into the office for
an interview and his Spidey sense is kind of going
off because the sign on the door is different than
the signs in the office. Yes, and they can't really
articulate like what he would be doing, but it's basically
they work with like Spectrum or T Mobile and it
has something to do with selling Wi Fi or different contracts.
So again just screaming in my mind, this is some
weird like multi level marketing or you're basically using these
kids essentially as cheap labor. Yes, and again going door
to door, it's like who it's that's just torture. So
thankfully I remember, I'm always somewhere weird. When these phone
calls happened. I was in Nashville last year on my
girls trip, and so I had this late night long
conversation with him where he and I are looking at
Reddit pages together trying to figure out what this is.
And he said, well, then should I not go on
the interview or should I not go to sign the papers?
What do you think? Because by now he's skeptical too,
and he's doing some research. And I said, look, go
in if you want, but you you have no commitment
to them just because they've quote unquote hired you. So
he goes in and there are like three other people
they're also signing a contract. And he realizes now that
one of the guys was a plant because they're talking
about like, okay, so you are going to work six
days a week, and a lot of us like we're
just such good friends, like we all live together. Oh no,
and like they're asking Jack, like what are you interested in?
And he said, well, I've you know, I've started working out. Oh,
we all work out together. We have a gym that
we go to together, and I actually have like a
D and D campaign. Oh my god, so do we
we have our own D and D campaign everything, he says,
So it's a total cult.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: The guy who he now thinks is a plant is
signing his contract and he's saying, I am just so
excited to have a job where I'm gonna have to
work so hard and not be bored. Oh my god.
It was so bizarre, and I, you know, he signed something,
I'm like, it doesn't matter you you don't have to
go in. So again, it was basically a cult, door
to door, bizarre kind of thing.
Speaker 2: But I remember with this one, you were like, I
don't want to be this negative because I think this
happened after the exterminating thing, and you're like, I can't
tell him with each thing, like, no, you can't do that.
It's you know, so you were waiting for him to
kind of decide for himself, and then he did.
Speaker 1: And he did, and I think that was the phone
call in Nashville when he's like, holy shit, mom, you
were right. And they do this thing where these companies
changed their name every six months, so when you go
to Google them or check the Better Business Bureau, right
they've changed their name. So there's like there's zero digital
footprint about like what there actually doing. And I'm sure
people listening have had experience with these companies because I
have a feeling they just pray on college kids.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to be careful always. Remember when I
got that job for that psychiatrist.
Speaker 1: Or podcast thing or it was, Yeah, it.
Speaker 2: Was it was a podcast, but I was doing a
radio show. But it sounded it was recommended. It was
recommended by a friend of a friend. It was actually
somebody who knows Julie Caseum. So it seemed on the
level at first, you know, so I didn't have any
reason to really question it, and I was like, oh, okay,
And then I interviewed with the guy. Yeah, I interviewed
and I was all excited. And then I was going
to be producing episodes for this radio show. And then
it was I was going to so it was I
might have had to drive to San Clemente. Well, first
I was going to have to go just to ABC,
which is not that far like Culver City. Then I
was going to have to drive to San Clemente. But
the problem was that the day before I had already
produced the first episode. I'd already with you know, I
hadn't gone in I'd already done all the research and
like found an interview for it. Blah blah blah. And
then the night before I googled the guy and I
googled the company and it came up with that there
had been an FBI raid on the company and all
this stuff. And then remember at the time, doctor Drew
wasn't crazy. I called doctor Drew and I was like,
holy shit, this psychiatrist.
Speaker 1: Wasn't it a rehab kind of it was a rehab facility.
Speaker 2: It was a company that owns rehabs. And they've been
called Sovereign Health. They'd been they've been these news stories.
They'd been raided by the FBI. And the doctor that
I was, the doctor that I was going to work for,
was no longer a doctor because he'd been stripped of
his medical license and he'd gone to school to like
not an actual real school, like one of these weird
like I'm not saying, an online degree, but something that
it wasn't really like.
Speaker 1: Did he go to the same medical school as you?
Pretty much?
Speaker 2: But not only that, but that had been taken away,
so he was so he couldn't legally call himself a doctor.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: And then I was like what do I do? And
doctor Drew's like, well, you know what this happens sometimes,
like psychiatrists are really there, tend to be victims of
like people come after them and especially rehabs. Like he
was on that guy's side, okay, I mean, I don't
want to say he was like no, I know that guy.
He's totally on the level. He's like I would go in,
do the job, and then like keep an eye out,
see what's going on. So I did. I ended up
going in because it was the next day. I would
have had to leave the guy totally high and dry.
So I went in and then I was like, wow,
like he's not saying that, he's not constantly saying he's
a psychiatrist. He's skirting around it, and he doesn't seem like.
I gave it the benefit of the doubt for a while,
until I finally realized this guy has like a vendette.
He's just trying to get money from these health insurance companies.
His main thing was like he was very mad that
these people weren't reimbursing him because he was being accused
of fraud. And when it became really clear to me
that it probably was fraud, and then he wasn't paying
people at his company.
Speaker 1: And then paying you.
Speaker 2: Oh eventually yeah, well he paid me a check that
bounced and then the funds were frozen. Yes, so that
all happened. But also I ended up looking up the company,
which I hadn't done in the first place, on glassdoor
dot com and it was just one star. It was
so many people being this guys a fraud, and I
was like, wow, now I feel stupid, Yeah, because I
did it for like six months.
Speaker 1: You live and learn.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, So what is Jack up to right now?
Speaker 1: He's he works part time at DIY, which is just
like a little home improvement store, and he's a cashier
and does all the stuff, and he's very into EDM
as you are very familiar with with her daughter. He
would love to be a DJ, so he's often on
his board and producing his music. And so this is
really deeply where my own voice has to keep repeating,
give him space, give him time, because I of course
sink back to my childhood and if I had told
my father, yeah, dad, you know, this whole teaching thing
just not really my jam. But I really think I
want to produce music, and my dad no that's it.
Just it's so character to everything I was raised with that,
and I realized I was raised in a very strict
it was a great household, but like we had a path,
man like, none of us deviated from it. So I
have to let my kid deviate from the path that
I have set for him and let him figure it out.
Speaker 2: And is it hard? Like I wonder, do you make
do you do? You leave a lot of room for
the fact that he has autism?
Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, and so.
Speaker 2: You have different like expectations, not different expectations.
Speaker 1: But I have a real awareness that his path to
from A to B may look very different than someone
without autism. I'm really confident he'll get to a point B,
but it's there might be zigzags in it and learning
things along the way. And I again, it's as much
a lesson for me as it is for him in
just giving people space to do what they need to
do and learn what they need to learn.
Speaker 2: But it's hard, right because you feel like, oh, my gosh,
should I be supporting because I don't know? I have that.
I wonder obviously, what will happen with LB when she
graduates college, Like I'm going to have the same thing.
She's going to be like, Okay, she's not going to
want to move home, right, She's not going to be
able to afford an apartment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I don't know's it's my own path
as much as it is his. Like I'm doing a
lot of work right now on how I perceive things
and respond to things and react to things, because you
can be supportive of someone whose dream you don't necessarily
agree with. And we actually have a lot of friends
with kids his age who don't want to get a
part time job if they're if they want to be musicians,
they just want to work on their music. And Jack is,
you know, well, because we won't pay for stuff for him,
he has to work, and I think he likes having
that responsibility. And so I give him a lot of
credit for that too, because I don't know what I
would do if he didn't want to work or struggled
with working. I don't I would probably just support him
like I'm supporting him now, and I you know, you
just never know how you're going to react, and so
that happens to you.
Speaker 2: I just don't know that like just being like cool cool,
just hang out and like it teaches much responsibility.
Speaker 1: And he's worked since he was sixteen, you know, since
the moment he could work, and so he he likes
that and he's saving his money. And you know, but
we live in California. We live in southern California, so
rent of a studio apartment would be more than our
mortgages because you've lived in our house for thirty years.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, these kids would have to they'd have
to have roommates, Like they're gonna have to like live
like three or four in an apartment.
Speaker 1: Yep. Yeah, oh boy.
Speaker 2: All right, well this was I'm so glad you came
me too, so fun. It wasn't born to me. You're
so you're on spring break, so we got you on
your one. So in the past, the reason Robin was
on more frequently was because you only worked a few
days a week. But for the past few years you've
been in full time. Yeah, so I can only get
her when she's got time off of school. But before
we go, let's say, let's give our shout outs to
our people that pay us fifty dollars a month, like
Krista Stroup is giving it to her friend Sarah, who
lost her son to suicide. Just so sad, and she's
trying to break the stigma surrounding suicide and fill in
the gaps in her commute unity in Ohio where mental
health needs aren't being met. So go to Chase Hayleyproject
dot com. Also, it's getting that time. Use the Better
Test Prep Act Guide. That's our friend Lorie Bishop's son
made it. It's a digital download including in depth guides
for each section of the Act and you can go
to Instagram Better dot Test dot Prep to check that out,
and I'm sure there'll be a link there. Also, my
friend has a Medium column called Unbecoming Stories, So if
you go to Medium dot com look up Unbecoming Stories
and you will not be disappointed. Also, The Family Skeptical
it's a podcast about raising kids without religion, so check
them out. They put out an episode once every three weeks,
so it's not gonna take up too much room on
your queue. If you're in Palm Springs or Palm Desert,
go to Wilma and Freeda. Everybody loves it there. If
you want a mousepat or a mug or a cool
T shirt with whatever you want on it, use just
Basicbecky dot com or basic Becky on Facebook. If you're
in Hawaii and you're on the island of Kawaii, you
can visit in person Sugar Skull, But even if you're
not there, you can check out their bakery and gift
shop online if you go to Sugar Skull eight oh
eight dot square dot site. Also, if you're planning a trip,
why not use waves and wonder travel. That's our friend
Christine B. And her instagram is Travel with Christine B.
Speaker 1: And uh.
Speaker 2: Our friend Sergio is highlighting the ASPCI to help ASPCA
obviously to help animals, and we talked a lot about
doggies today and ASPCA does so much good work. So
go to ASPCA dot org. And my friend and yours
Jacob Crowley, is using his shout out for the ACLU,
and our friend Carrie Kibbler is using hers for the
Human Rights Campaign. These people are doing the Lord's work
right now with everything that's going on in the world.
And then every episode we talk about Adam Lerner Adam's
goot a Car dot com.
Speaker 1: I drove my car here, I am in love with
that car.
Speaker 2: Oh my God. And he made it really simple.
Speaker 1: Right beyond it was ridiculous and saved you money. Yes,
And it was really funny because you could tell they
were like, oh, there's a broker, you know what I mean.
It's because it saves me money and not them. Yes.
Speaker 2: Nice. And of course our friend Laura Wingfield is giving
promo to her friend Oscar's Queer Youth Resource in Vancouver, Washington.
They've lost a lot of resources they could use help,
so go to qy RC Vancouver, WA dot org.
Speaker 1: Can I do a shout out for the rescue?
Speaker 2: Yes, of course, of course.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start paying for one for a couple months.
It's called Popculture Rescue dot com dot org like pop culture, but.
Speaker 2: Oh pop culture.
Speaker 1: And they've been amazing. He's already neutered, he's already chipped,
he's already you know. They're just caring and amazing. They've
already checked in with me several times.
Speaker 2: Yeayeah.
Speaker 1: I love it And I want advice from people after
they listen to this on everything we've talked about, So
please post on the page.
Speaker 2: All right, everybody think you, Thank you, Caylin, thank you,
Robin Wazinski. You're a parent.
Speaker 1: Now it's good