WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.480 --> 00:00:04.200 Here we go. 2 00:00:04.599 --> 00:00:10.919 You see that there is the sound of leeches, leeches 3 00:00:10.960 --> 00:00:21.679 on society, users of the National Health Service. It's the 4 00:00:21.719 --> 00:00:25.960 sound of people who take more than they give to society. 5 00:00:26.120 --> 00:00:29.960 Here's me a picture of health. None of my family, 6 00:00:30.039 --> 00:00:32.880 well we've all got colds. None of my family doing 7 00:00:33.039 --> 00:00:38.200 anything other than giving to the greater good. And there's 8 00:00:38.240 --> 00:00:43.439 you two taking sucking at the teat of Britain. 9 00:00:44.960 --> 00:00:47.000 Mine had an air ambulance as well, so I think 10 00:00:47.039 --> 00:00:50.359 that's a charity we've costed as money of as well. 11 00:00:50.600 --> 00:00:54.119 Yeah, and you Callum, you know you've just got back. 12 00:00:56.960 --> 00:01:02.159 I mean they go, you see off. So listen, dear 13 00:01:02.439 --> 00:01:06.239 listeners of Country Slide. Perhaps we should explain this isn't 14 00:01:06.480 --> 00:01:12.920 the crappiest start of casualty that you've had special you see, 15 00:01:12.959 --> 00:01:14.840 because this is what Country Slide is all about. 16 00:01:15.079 --> 00:01:19.120 We did We're going to clap into the depths. 17 00:01:19.040 --> 00:01:23.680 Of everything that goes wrong, largely in the countryside and 18 00:01:23.680 --> 00:01:27.519 occasionally it's good bits. And this week we're talking about 19 00:01:27.920 --> 00:01:32.519 well we didn't intend to talk about health, but unfortunately 20 00:01:33.439 --> 00:01:33.719 we don't. 21 00:01:34.200 --> 00:01:36.200 It overtook us. 22 00:01:39.159 --> 00:01:42.239 I think Callum should go first because his story hopefully 23 00:01:42.280 --> 00:01:46.280 is shorter. Yeah, he got jealous of Vine and had 24 00:01:46.280 --> 00:01:48.079 his own I really. 25 00:01:48.040 --> 00:01:50.560 I really don't want to be in any way close 26 00:01:50.640 --> 00:01:54.319 to like a topper. It sounds almost it's like it's 27 00:01:54.359 --> 00:01:56.239 like I've done this for the contents. 28 00:01:56.959 --> 00:01:57.480 It was not. 29 00:01:58.200 --> 00:01:59.319 It was not a great moment. 30 00:01:59.439 --> 00:02:04.560 So yeah, I've updated you briefly and probably like barely 31 00:02:04.599 --> 00:02:07.319 anybody knows about this because it happened late last night. 32 00:02:07.439 --> 00:02:10.120 So there might be a few of my friends listening 33 00:02:10.120 --> 00:02:13.080 that are like, you didn't tell me, so you know. 34 00:02:13.599 --> 00:02:16.759 So this is Tuesday, and public get this on the Friday. 35 00:02:17.840 --> 00:02:19.360 This is breaking news to most people. 36 00:02:19.439 --> 00:02:19.639 Yeah. 37 00:02:19.719 --> 00:02:24.159 So my two year old is at a stage in 38 00:02:24.199 --> 00:02:27.639 her life where she will look you dead in the 39 00:02:27.719 --> 00:02:32.520 eye and do horrible things that will make you shout 40 00:02:32.599 --> 00:02:36.080 at her because she thinks that's brilliant. So that could 41 00:02:36.159 --> 00:02:40.400 be pulling clumps of hair out of her brother's head. 42 00:02:41.520 --> 00:02:44.439 She quite likes doing that. Yesterday, she trapped him in 43 00:02:44.479 --> 00:02:47.960 the Wendy House first and then started pulling his hair, 44 00:02:48.360 --> 00:02:50.639 so he was screaming in the Wendy House, and then 45 00:02:50.719 --> 00:02:56.240 she was just smiling watching me and then slowly reaching 46 00:02:56.280 --> 00:02:59.439 for his hair to pull while I then told her 47 00:02:59.520 --> 00:03:01.560 off and had to try and I don't know if 48 00:03:01.560 --> 00:03:04.120 you've ever seen a six foot man try and drag 49 00:03:04.159 --> 00:03:07.639 a child from a Wendy house. But there's all sorts 50 00:03:07.639 --> 00:03:08.719 of angles that is where it. 51 00:03:08.680 --> 00:03:11.719 Doesn't really work. That was fun. 52 00:03:14.400 --> 00:03:18.680 The next one was she had a fistful of coins, 53 00:03:19.039 --> 00:03:22.400 which sounds a bit like a like a Western. I've 54 00:03:22.400 --> 00:03:25.680 watched that spaghetti Western. Yeah, it sounds like a new 55 00:03:25.680 --> 00:03:29.960 thing on Amazon Prime. She had a fist full of coins, 56 00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:33.080 and then she sort of looked at me and then 57 00:03:33.120 --> 00:03:36.159 put them towards her mouth, and I said no, And 58 00:03:36.199 --> 00:03:41.199 then I went over to retrieve that a fistful of coins. 59 00:03:41.560 --> 00:03:47.360 She'd put them into her mouth. I inverted her, tapped 60 00:03:47.360 --> 00:03:53.000 her on the back. Coins fell out, so did at 61 00:03:53.759 --> 00:03:58.840 about six Easter eggs and a blue raspberry ice cream 62 00:03:59.039 --> 00:04:03.599 that she'd just had, and a moosaka in the that 63 00:04:03.719 --> 00:04:09.759 kind of luminous blue, chunky aubergine, all over the dog bed, 64 00:04:10.039 --> 00:04:12.159 all up the wall, over the skirt in. 65 00:04:13.240 --> 00:04:15.879 Just to confirm here, callum, this was vomit, not that 66 00:04:15.960 --> 00:04:18.360 she was holding it all in her cheeks like a hamster. 67 00:04:18.560 --> 00:04:20.319 Ye, No, that was indeed vomit. 68 00:04:20.480 --> 00:04:23.199 This wasn't It wasn't like a a slot machine paying. 69 00:04:22.920 --> 00:04:29.959 Out right, no, no, unfortunately, and then and then she 70 00:04:30.439 --> 00:04:34.000 was sick, and then we kept an eye on her, 71 00:04:34.079 --> 00:04:39.120 and about an hour later she still kept being sick intermittently. 72 00:04:40.040 --> 00:04:43.319 So at that point we were like, okay, I don't 73 00:04:43.519 --> 00:04:47.360 like this, So we went to UBI, went to A 74 00:04:47.480 --> 00:04:50.519 and E and they. 75 00:04:50.759 --> 00:04:52.839 Saw us quite quickly, which was really nice. 76 00:04:53.079 --> 00:04:57.160 And at one point they pulled a metal detector out 77 00:04:57.959 --> 00:05:01.680 and scanned over the the top of the child and 78 00:05:01.720 --> 00:05:05.720 it went deep. And then she went, I'm not wearing 79 00:05:05.800 --> 00:05:08.480 any rings. Can we just double checks she's not got 80 00:05:08.519 --> 00:05:09.600 any metal on it anyway? 81 00:05:09.720 --> 00:05:10.279 Beep beep. 82 00:05:10.519 --> 00:05:13.639 Okay, I'm going to pass you on to somebody else. 83 00:05:15.560 --> 00:05:17.240 You get the special treatment now. 84 00:05:17.759 --> 00:05:21.439 Yeah, now we think you're full of coins, so you 85 00:05:21.560 --> 00:05:24.759 would go to somebody else. So then we had several 86 00:05:24.959 --> 00:05:29.120 X rays and then it was it was stuck in 87 00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:34.279 her esophagus, so it hadn't gone down the windpipe, which is, you. 88 00:05:34.240 --> 00:05:36.240 Know, the the good bit. 89 00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:39.879 But it does make you does make you reflect on 90 00:05:40.639 --> 00:05:42.120 that it could have got a lot worse. 91 00:05:43.319 --> 00:05:44.360 And then. 92 00:05:45.720 --> 00:05:50.560 Yeah, we ended up going to having to see who 93 00:05:50.839 --> 00:05:55.279 could take the sedation of a two year old on 94 00:05:55.600 --> 00:06:00.560 as a as an antist, which everybody would willing to 95 00:06:00.600 --> 00:06:02.639 take it until they heard it was a two year 96 00:06:02.680 --> 00:06:04.800 old and then they were like, nope, we don't want 97 00:06:04.839 --> 00:06:08.839 to do it. So Adam Brooks shout out Adam Brook's 98 00:06:09.079 --> 00:06:10.240 Cambridge Hospital. 99 00:06:10.759 --> 00:06:12.439 They decided to take it on. 100 00:06:12.680 --> 00:06:17.160 So we went in about nine o'clock last night and 101 00:06:17.480 --> 00:06:22.959 we left at three o'clock the following day. So it's 102 00:06:23.040 --> 00:06:25.399 it's very long, it's been a long time. 103 00:06:26.279 --> 00:06:28.720 What was your blood pressure like do you think during 104 00:06:29.240 --> 00:06:31.519 you know, from from a handful of coins right through 105 00:06:31.560 --> 00:06:33.560 to when you message me saying it's out. 106 00:06:36.040 --> 00:06:41.879 Yeah, it's there's the anesthetic bits, the really the scary bit, 107 00:06:42.240 --> 00:06:42.680 I think. 108 00:06:43.160 --> 00:06:46.439 And also they were worried that in the. 109 00:06:46.319 --> 00:06:49.160 Ambulance that it would it would come back up and 110 00:06:49.199 --> 00:06:53.480 get so they had to take a like a recess 111 00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:56.319 guy in the ambulance from Harlowe to. 112 00:06:58.079 --> 00:06:58.480 To there. 113 00:06:59.360 --> 00:07:02.759 So yeah, that was there was lots of scary moments, 114 00:07:03.399 --> 00:07:07.360 but we did the right thing. The NHS were wonderful. 115 00:07:07.800 --> 00:07:11.040 The staff were really good. You got the sense that 116 00:07:12.319 --> 00:07:15.240 all of them were really really good. But they were 117 00:07:16.399 --> 00:07:20.959 working with their with their one arm tied behind their 118 00:07:21.000 --> 00:07:25.639 back because they were super stretched for resources, and they're like, well, 119 00:07:26.120 --> 00:07:28.600 we like helping people, because that's kind of why we 120 00:07:29.399 --> 00:07:34.079 work here. But we just don't have the ability to 121 00:07:34.399 --> 00:07:38.000 get it done basically, So it took a lot longer 122 00:07:38.040 --> 00:07:42.920 than they wanted it to and but that's the best 123 00:07:42.920 --> 00:07:45.399 they could do, and they did a great job and 124 00:07:46.040 --> 00:07:50.839 it got retrieved. Nothing terrible happened. I am mighty relieved. 125 00:07:50.959 --> 00:07:54.920 Blood pressure was probably through the roof. Yeah, you do 126 00:07:55.000 --> 00:07:57.000 think of all the it's weird. 127 00:07:57.079 --> 00:07:57.519 You just. 128 00:07:59.199 --> 00:08:02.639 There's no point welling on terrible things, But you do 129 00:08:02.800 --> 00:08:05.759 think of the of the terrible things and how much 130 00:08:05.800 --> 00:08:07.319 worse it could have been, and it could have been 131 00:08:07.360 --> 00:08:15.040 a choking situation, and it does get very scary, but thankfully. 132 00:08:16.639 --> 00:08:19.600 And up until yesterday evening, you weren't thinking about a 133 00:08:19.680 --> 00:08:22.759 child swallowing a coin that was that was a sort 134 00:08:22.759 --> 00:08:26.519 of the pile of hypotheticals in your life, like asteroid 135 00:08:26.560 --> 00:08:27.279 impact and. 136 00:08:27.959 --> 00:08:32.320 Well, choking is a really serious thing. Like there's all 137 00:08:32.360 --> 00:08:34.000 sorts of things that people give. 138 00:08:33.879 --> 00:08:38.559 To children that are really bad choking hazards, things like 139 00:08:38.799 --> 00:08:41.879 balloons and popcorn. 140 00:08:42.039 --> 00:08:47.559 Soldiers when I was a child, really yeah, lead soldiers. 141 00:08:47.639 --> 00:08:51.519 Anything that can block the airway people give. 142 00:08:52.399 --> 00:08:54.559 I mean, I think most people know now to cut 143 00:08:54.600 --> 00:08:58.240 grapes up and stuff like that, because that's cut grapes 144 00:08:58.320 --> 00:09:02.440 up for kids, because they are the perfect size for 145 00:09:02.519 --> 00:09:03.879 blocking an airway. 146 00:09:04.240 --> 00:09:08.000 It's more than your little finger. Yeah, tiny, tiny thing. 147 00:09:08.799 --> 00:09:11.919 Well, not a good thing to be ingested whole. 148 00:09:12.320 --> 00:09:14.080 So let's let's come to the quick. 149 00:09:14.159 --> 00:09:14.399 Here. 150 00:09:15.480 --> 00:09:16.919 Have you got the coin back? 151 00:09:18.559 --> 00:09:18.840 Yeah? 152 00:09:18.960 --> 00:09:22.559 And all of the there was almost a sweep steak 153 00:09:22.679 --> 00:09:24.919 because all they could see was the x ray, but 154 00:09:25.000 --> 00:09:27.679 not obvious sign the coin's value. 155 00:09:27.759 --> 00:09:28.279 It was. 156 00:09:28.399 --> 00:09:32.759 It was a one pea coin. It's the lowest denominations. 157 00:09:32.759 --> 00:09:34.360 Coin in our pocket. 158 00:09:34.840 --> 00:09:37.000 I don't know what you I was going to check. 159 00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:39.440 You have to get it sort of dis mounted. I can. 160 00:09:39.679 --> 00:09:42.600 I can make a stick for you and put that 161 00:09:42.759 --> 00:09:46.200 penny and I'll glue it to the top of the stick. 162 00:09:46.279 --> 00:09:48.360 If you've got it, I'll make it. 163 00:09:48.399 --> 00:09:52.840 Just remind you and next time that child starts eating things, 164 00:09:52.919 --> 00:09:54.879 you can swing that stick towards them. 165 00:09:55.600 --> 00:09:58.080 It should go with the x ray as well. 166 00:09:59.000 --> 00:10:03.000 Yeah, I don't think my I'll be honest the x 167 00:10:03.120 --> 00:10:08.159 ray that Callum is showing us. If I actually started engraving, 168 00:10:09.639 --> 00:10:11.759 would you bet that was a one p It looks 169 00:10:11.799 --> 00:10:15.080 to me x ray that it's about a sort of 170 00:10:15.159 --> 00:10:17.879 two pang coin. It's massive mine, just supposed to have 171 00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:19.240 got a little ribcage. 172 00:10:18.840 --> 00:10:22.480 Isn't They effectively said, there was a sweep steak going 173 00:10:22.519 --> 00:10:25.480 on in the back room where they were guessing what 174 00:10:25.639 --> 00:10:28.679 coin it would have been that was ingested, and they 175 00:10:28.679 --> 00:10:32.840 were really interested. And I think the money came from 176 00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:38.440 a little bag of coins that my son has, which 177 00:10:38.519 --> 00:10:41.639 contains all stuff from all over the world, like all 178 00:10:41.679 --> 00:10:45.679 the random change you collect from. 179 00:10:45.919 --> 00:10:47.799 All those old little euro ones that. 180 00:10:50.799 --> 00:10:53.000 So once I opened it up that it could be 181 00:10:53.320 --> 00:10:59.799 you know, ten kona or some Icelandic denomination currency there. 182 00:11:00.200 --> 00:11:07.480 Oh wow, my child swallowing. We're a very cosmopolitan family here, 183 00:11:07.559 --> 00:11:07.840 you know. 184 00:11:08.440 --> 00:11:11.720 Yes, Well, then they start looking at your socioeconomic status 185 00:11:11.720 --> 00:11:15.080 and working out where you've been to on holiday. It's 186 00:11:15.120 --> 00:11:16.519 not going to be anything Austrians. 187 00:11:16.600 --> 00:11:20.759 No, I think there's a there's an old Belgian king 188 00:11:20.919 --> 00:11:23.399 Leopold coin in there. 189 00:11:23.759 --> 00:11:25.679 He was a good guy, I think, yeah. 190 00:11:25.639 --> 00:11:28.919 Very popular in the in the in Africa. 191 00:11:30.279 --> 00:11:35.159 So we have seen how you have leeched off society 192 00:11:35.240 --> 00:11:40.320 by feeding your child coins. We now move on to 193 00:11:41.080 --> 00:11:45.559 mister Prido, who obviously this sadly is one of those 194 00:11:45.559 --> 00:11:49.720 podcasts that doesn't stretch to having a camera, but just 195 00:11:49.759 --> 00:11:52.679 to go and paint the picture for you, dear listener. 196 00:11:53.519 --> 00:11:57.039 So Callum's in his little eerie, I'm in my study 197 00:11:57.799 --> 00:12:03.120 and Richard is propped up in bed. Imagine the scene 198 00:12:03.879 --> 00:12:08.200 if James Robertson Justice was one of the patients in 199 00:12:08.320 --> 00:12:13.519 carry On Doctor rather than the senior doctor. That's what 200 00:12:13.559 --> 00:12:16.679 we're seeing is he's propped up in bed. He's got 201 00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:21.799 various rather grand paintings surrounding him. 202 00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:25.320 Yeah, it looks like an antique shop and a charity 203 00:12:25.360 --> 00:12:29.200 shop of. 204 00:12:28.320 --> 00:12:33.240 Yes, so we've fallen into an antique shop in Lavenum. 205 00:12:33.320 --> 00:12:36.039 I like the candles as well, so he could I 206 00:12:36.039 --> 00:12:38.120 could hold his own vigil exactly. 207 00:12:38.559 --> 00:12:41.720 There is there is something of the antique shop meets 208 00:12:41.840 --> 00:12:46.399 crypt about where. So why are you Richard propped up 209 00:12:46.559 --> 00:12:50.879 on a bed? And why have you got a bell 210 00:12:51.480 --> 00:12:56.159 from the front counter of a hotel next to you? 211 00:12:56.200 --> 00:12:58.440 Which is the sound you heard, dear listener at the 212 00:12:58.440 --> 00:12:59.120 start of the show. 213 00:12:59.480 --> 00:13:02.799 I think addressed the bell first because it is rather magnificent. 214 00:13:02.960 --> 00:13:07.639 This was a gift from a mystery mystery supporter in 215 00:13:07.720 --> 00:13:13.279 Suffolk who lays hedges. He thought this bell that summons 216 00:13:13.320 --> 00:13:16.559 people to this room where I'm invalided would be a 217 00:13:16.559 --> 00:13:19.799 good way to cement security in my marriage and wider 218 00:13:19.879 --> 00:13:24.840 family life. So here you go. Yeah pleasant, actually quite. 219 00:13:25.279 --> 00:13:27.679 It's also exactly the same tone as a Great Western 220 00:13:27.759 --> 00:13:31.279 Railway signal box bell, how lovely? 221 00:13:31.399 --> 00:13:32.799 Yeah yeah, well. 222 00:13:33.240 --> 00:13:35.600 I could reenact my own version of Charles Dickens the 223 00:13:35.639 --> 00:13:42.559 Signal Box, which is yeah. So again, six people got 224 00:13:42.559 --> 00:13:47.600 that right. It has been known that I occasionally turned 225 00:13:47.639 --> 00:13:53.279 my hand to cutting down trees. So working on a 226 00:13:53.279 --> 00:13:58.000 maiden coppice, which is basically a bit of woodland that 227 00:13:58.000 --> 00:14:01.399 hasn't been coppised yet. You're cutting the trees down for 228 00:14:01.399 --> 00:14:03.600 the first time, so then they'll regrow and do all 229 00:14:03.600 --> 00:14:06.399 the shoots, and you've got to do that more or 230 00:14:06.480 --> 00:14:09.720 less by the end of March. So this was week 231 00:14:09.799 --> 00:14:12.039 last Saturday, so I think it's like twenty eighth of 232 00:14:12.120 --> 00:14:15.279 March or something like that, and just trying to get 233 00:14:15.279 --> 00:14:19.200 them all down, and this bit I was working on 234 00:14:19.879 --> 00:14:24.039 was the'd been a bit of wind movement through the 235 00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:26.639 trees anyway, so everything was a bit gnarled and hung up. 236 00:14:26.919 --> 00:14:31.320 So I'd got one down and this is towards sort 237 00:14:31.360 --> 00:14:33.679 of four o'clock, thinking I'll just do this one and 238 00:14:33.720 --> 00:14:37.879 with a finish for the day, you know, got it 239 00:14:37.960 --> 00:14:40.759 down on the ground. It was still slightly attached at 240 00:14:40.799 --> 00:14:44.840 the hinge went off and checked all the little This 241 00:14:44.919 --> 00:14:46.960 is for all the arborists and foresters who are listening, 242 00:14:47.000 --> 00:14:49.320 who were trying to work out whether I screwed up massively, 243 00:14:49.440 --> 00:14:52.200 and sadly the answer is we're still not sure because 244 00:14:52.200 --> 00:14:54.639 it kind of shouldn't have done what it did. But 245 00:14:54.679 --> 00:14:56.879 basically I cut through it. 246 00:14:57.000 --> 00:14:59.080 Even need to explain it, like. 247 00:14:59.080 --> 00:15:04.759 I'm okay, trees, that's that's what thing, that's what wood's 248 00:15:04.759 --> 00:15:05.120 made from. 249 00:15:05.440 --> 00:15:05.799 M hm. 250 00:15:06.879 --> 00:15:09.960 This tree is now it was a big vertical tree, yeah, 251 00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:12.000 and now it's cut over and it's horizontal. 252 00:15:12.840 --> 00:15:13.320 Yeah. 253 00:15:13.360 --> 00:15:16.720 And it's about forty centimeters in diameter, so it's quite 254 00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:20.559 a big, chunky tree, okay. And I need to cut 255 00:15:20.600 --> 00:15:22.279 it just so to get the end on the ground 256 00:15:22.360 --> 00:15:24.679 because what I want is a nice clean stump and 257 00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:28.159 then I can rebuild my all the coppicst new shoots 258 00:15:28.200 --> 00:15:30.399 will grow from that because then I can cut up 259 00:15:30.440 --> 00:15:32.080 the bit on the ground later, because that can be 260 00:15:32.120 --> 00:15:33.879 done next month. But I need to get all of 261 00:15:33.960 --> 00:15:35.960 these down by the end of March. 262 00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:43.200 And she just had like a little bit left on it. 263 00:15:43.320 --> 00:15:44.879 How much are we talking? 264 00:15:46.159 --> 00:15:47.960 Oh? The bit I was cutting through was a whole 265 00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:50.519 tree's with because it's just that it was still attached 266 00:15:50.519 --> 00:15:53.600 at both ends, which is for anyone who cuts trees. 267 00:15:53.639 --> 00:15:56.120 That's foreshadowing. Anyway, I'm trying to make the story quicker. 268 00:15:57.360 --> 00:15:59.080 The tree had a hell of a lot of tension 269 00:15:59.120 --> 00:16:02.399 in it, which I cut for and expected to be there. 270 00:16:03.039 --> 00:16:06.799 What I didn't expect was this weird corkscrew tension thing 271 00:16:06.879 --> 00:16:09.200 that built up as it had fallen and twisted and 272 00:16:09.240 --> 00:16:13.720 moved and things, which meant there's a special cut you 273 00:16:13.759 --> 00:16:16.840 do to cut through windblow, which I did. But I 274 00:16:16.879 --> 00:16:19.480 got to the very last sort of centimeter of that cut, 275 00:16:19.960 --> 00:16:22.120 and I don't remember much until I was on the ground. 276 00:16:22.919 --> 00:16:25.159 What happened was the tree sort of kicked up and 277 00:16:25.200 --> 00:16:28.120 then out and then sideways and then down and kicked 278 00:16:28.159 --> 00:16:32.799 me about three meters off to the side by Imagine 279 00:16:32.799 --> 00:16:36.480 a really big tree shaped horse kicking you just in 280 00:16:36.559 --> 00:16:40.080 the shin, just below the kneecap. If you've ever walked 281 00:16:40.080 --> 00:16:42.960 into the towbar of a pickup truck, yeah, you know 282 00:16:43.000 --> 00:16:47.039 that feeling on your shin. Imagine that. But about seventy 283 00:16:47.080 --> 00:16:47.720 miles an hour. 284 00:16:49.080 --> 00:16:53.039 So that bent my knee back to coffee table in 285 00:16:53.120 --> 00:16:53.639 the dark. 286 00:16:54.679 --> 00:16:57.120 Oh it's still there. I've got a spray painters and 287 00:16:57.159 --> 00:17:01.279 else I'm merely one allowed to kill it. Now they're 288 00:17:01.320 --> 00:17:07.880 going to mount it on the wall. So the kind 289 00:17:07.880 --> 00:17:10.160 of sort of came to I don't think I lost consciousness, 290 00:17:10.200 --> 00:17:11.640 it was just sort of I don't remember the mid 291 00:17:11.680 --> 00:17:14.759 air bit, chainsaw still running on my leg, got that 292 00:17:14.839 --> 00:17:20.079 dealt with, call for help, and then it became a 293 00:17:20.119 --> 00:17:23.039 bit of a is that broken? Is it not broken? 294 00:17:23.119 --> 00:17:25.000 Is it broken? Is it not broken? And you know, 295 00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:27.519 when you're not moving your feet are you're thinking that's 296 00:17:27.519 --> 00:17:29.359 probably a good sign. I'm go okay there and start 297 00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:32.680 doing my own primary and secondary survey in my own 298 00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:34.839 first aid, and I think this is okay. I think 299 00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:37.359 I've just bruised and winded myself and got away with this. 300 00:17:38.200 --> 00:17:39.799 And then I go to stand up, and then there's 301 00:17:39.799 --> 00:17:44.200 the crunchy pain and the crunchy pain. Normally it's broken 302 00:17:44.200 --> 00:17:46.359 a bone. They know what the crunchy pain is. 303 00:17:46.720 --> 00:17:49.440 I've never broken a plone, but I can sort of 304 00:17:50.160 --> 00:17:53.200 I can picture it well, any kind of crunchy pain, 305 00:17:54.319 --> 00:17:55.960 I can picture it in my head and I don't 306 00:17:56.119 --> 00:17:57.240 like it. 307 00:17:57.240 --> 00:17:58.759 It's like an ache and a pain and you can 308 00:17:58.799 --> 00:18:01.440 feel the sharpness of different bits of both edges of 309 00:18:01.440 --> 00:18:05.759 bone hitting each other that shouldn't hit each other. So 310 00:18:06.160 --> 00:18:08.599 Amy got to be at this point, and we were 311 00:18:08.599 --> 00:18:11.480 actually first called non emergency number because I thought the 312 00:18:11.559 --> 00:18:13.960 NHS is craping whales. It'll take forever to get an 313 00:18:13.960 --> 00:18:16.920 ambulance and I'll die forget the hospital. So I want 314 00:18:16.960 --> 00:18:19.200 to find out which of the English hospitals has got 315 00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:21.319 the least que at the moment, because I'll drive an 316 00:18:21.359 --> 00:18:25.720 hour to get seen there. And I got through it 317 00:18:25.759 --> 00:18:27.599 all the way through the do you have a mental 318 00:18:27.599 --> 00:18:29.599 health emergency? Do you have this? Do you have that? 319 00:18:29.680 --> 00:18:31.720 Got through to it and they said your call will 320 00:18:31.759 --> 00:18:35.559 be answered in sixty seven minutes. What sad that? So 321 00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:40.480 then rang nine ninet nine and so straight away Amy 322 00:18:40.799 --> 00:18:43.759 gives the situation things as it's a forestry thing, but 323 00:18:43.799 --> 00:18:47.319 it's a crush injury sort of. It's a it's not 324 00:18:47.400 --> 00:18:50.160 a chainsaw injury. This is where we are, this is 325 00:18:50.200 --> 00:18:52.799 what the casualty is doing. Answered all their questions. They 326 00:18:52.799 --> 00:18:56.440 were fine on the phone. Did what three words for 327 00:18:56.599 --> 00:19:00.000 the gate to the woodland and what three words remained 328 00:19:00.119 --> 00:19:05.160 crap because I think it was like livingness or something 329 00:19:05.240 --> 00:19:06.799 was one of the words. It's not a real word, 330 00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:08.839 you know, technically it's in the dictionary, but it's not 331 00:19:08.839 --> 00:19:10.960 a word you'd ever say. You have to spell it 332 00:19:11.000 --> 00:19:15.559 out forty seven times. But did all that, and then 333 00:19:15.559 --> 00:19:17.799 they said, okay, and the ambulance will be three hours. 334 00:19:19.759 --> 00:19:20.279 Don't die. 335 00:19:20.359 --> 00:19:24.160 Okay, Well I can't. Yes, Well, I'm just gonna I've 336 00:19:24.160 --> 00:19:25.680 got to get to the edge of the wood anyway. 337 00:19:25.799 --> 00:19:30.039 So I started hobbling, and there's a couple of bits 338 00:19:30.039 --> 00:19:35.200 in this story which that hobble of about three hundred 339 00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:38.720 meters hopping on one leg holding a very big sort 340 00:19:38.759 --> 00:19:41.960 of ash pole as a walking stick, and Amy holding 341 00:19:41.960 --> 00:19:44.599 me on the other side. It's not the hopping that 342 00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:46.599 was a problem of it was that every time I hopped, 343 00:19:47.319 --> 00:19:48.519 my broken bone. 344 00:19:48.279 --> 00:19:53.319 Went separated so nice. 345 00:19:53.160 --> 00:19:56.039 And then clayed together. And that was you know, you've 346 00:19:56.039 --> 00:19:59.119 got your pain scale go zero to ten. That was 347 00:19:59.160 --> 00:20:06.200 about a ten point five every single step step. I 348 00:20:06.240 --> 00:20:08.079 don't know, you'd have to ask Amy, but there was 349 00:20:08.119 --> 00:20:11.519 a lot of grunting and noises and unpleasantness, you know, 350 00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:16.200 probably sudden she's quite familiar with anyway. The the. 351 00:20:17.599 --> 00:20:18.680 That's what she wrote in. 352 00:20:20.799 --> 00:20:24.440 That's Usual February the fourteen stuff that. 353 00:20:26.559 --> 00:20:31.480 I didn't scream that hopping out was, without exaggeration, the 354 00:20:31.559 --> 00:20:34.720 hardest thing I've ever physically done in my life. Wow, 355 00:20:34.920 --> 00:20:40.240 no contest, and I've done some stupid stuff. About halfway 356 00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:45.960 through that heard a very low helicopter approaching, which became 357 00:20:46.079 --> 00:20:48.920 very close, and I said to Amy, I really hope 358 00:20:48.960 --> 00:20:51.400 that's not for me, And it turns out yes it was. 359 00:20:51.440 --> 00:20:53.559 It was the brand new EC one four five Air 360 00:20:53.559 --> 00:20:57.119 Ambulance of the North Wales branch of welsh Are Ambulance, 361 00:20:57.640 --> 00:20:59.640 who just happened to be in the area, saw the 362 00:20:59.720 --> 00:21:01.599 job them in and thought they'd come and have a look. 363 00:21:02.440 --> 00:21:04.160 So they landed in the neighbor's field. 364 00:21:05.039 --> 00:21:09.839 Imagine just talking about the helicopter and just thinking, yeah, 365 00:21:09.279 --> 00:21:15.599 it's a bit like the poor patrol, you know, suddenly 366 00:21:17.079 --> 00:21:19.720 rubble rubbles, he's going to get a job on. 367 00:21:20.799 --> 00:21:23.559 It's it's like the uber gig economy, isn't it. 368 00:21:23.599 --> 00:21:23.680 So? 369 00:21:23.720 --> 00:21:25.759 Oh yeah, I love that one. 370 00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:29.240 Did they pick you up in this helicopter then, Richard? 371 00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:33.559 No, So what they did was they sort of arrived 372 00:21:33.559 --> 00:21:35.319 and they had some students on board as well, so 373 00:21:35.359 --> 00:21:38.640 I think that's also so they were I was being 374 00:21:38.839 --> 00:21:41.000 train a training tool, but. 375 00:21:41.119 --> 00:21:44.319 A wild forester. They don't come out, but when they 376 00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:47.279 do well. They injured themselves did a very geeky. 377 00:21:46.920 --> 00:21:49.119 Thing when I when I arrived, because I was sort 378 00:21:49.119 --> 00:21:50.680 of like Amy had gone to meet them at the 379 00:21:50.680 --> 00:21:53.599 gate and they came ahead of her, so they arrived 380 00:21:53.599 --> 00:21:56.039 to meet me in the field on my own, and 381 00:21:56.079 --> 00:21:58.319 I'm sort of lying on my side, so I did 382 00:21:58.359 --> 00:22:01.799 my own handover sort of. It went into autopilot a 383 00:22:01.839 --> 00:22:04.519 little bit from something a long time ago, saying, Okay, 384 00:22:04.559 --> 00:22:07.119 so I'm a male forty two. I don't I've had 385 00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:10.359 a crush injury to my left lower lege. 386 00:22:10.599 --> 00:22:11.039 Brilliant. 387 00:22:11.640 --> 00:22:13.759 I don't have any allergies. I don't have any Yeah, yeah, 388 00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:17.759 and I think I got told to shut up. So 389 00:22:17.839 --> 00:22:21.839 the doctor saw me there. She was great assessed. She said, yeah, 390 00:22:21.880 --> 00:22:24.079 it could be broken, might just be a really massive bruise. 391 00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:27.640 You're not going to die immediately. But here have this 392 00:22:27.839 --> 00:22:30.480 big green whistle that says pen Throcks on the side 393 00:22:30.480 --> 00:22:35.440 of it. Now, Penthrocks is amazing. It's they used to 394 00:22:35.480 --> 00:22:37.400 give you sort of ketamine for big broken bones and 395 00:22:37.400 --> 00:22:39.119 stuff like that. But no, now they give you this 396 00:22:39.119 --> 00:22:41.680 stuff because it doesn't last very long. But it means 397 00:22:41.720 --> 00:22:43.359 every time you need to move, you just take a 398 00:22:43.359 --> 00:22:48.359 big hit on this little whistle vaporizer thing and you 399 00:22:48.440 --> 00:22:50.799 have no feeling for about thirty seconds. 400 00:22:51.880 --> 00:22:53.039 So it's really good. 401 00:22:54.519 --> 00:22:59.119