Speaker 1: Uh, hey, wake up, dummy. Oh my gosh, relax, It's
just me. I'm not a burglar or anything. What's my problem?
What's your problem? Sound asleep while someone just walked right
into the house. And if that wasn't bad enough, you
still didn't wake up when I climbed literally right next
to you in bed. M I'm just saying, sleeping deep
is not a very good quality in a house, hitter.
What if someone did break in and steal stuff? Heck
what if they stole stuff from my room? That would
have been a tragedy. Yes, most of my important stuff
is on campus, but they still have stuff here that
matters anyway, neither here nor there. I am not a thief,
So yay, lucky you. Damn dude. What's with the tone?
First of all, this is still partly my house, so
I can come and go whenever I want. And secondly,
can't a girl come and see her friend.
Speaker 2: Out riding the old heart? You wound me?
Speaker 1: Hey, and just because you're my brother's best friend, does
that mean that we can't be friends? Or hey, we're
friend ish, we're friend adjacent? Right sore? Sure, sure, keep
pretending you don't like me. I totally believe you. You
know what I mean. You may be a dummy, but
you're not that dense. Okay, maybe you are. Ah, do
you really need me to spell it out for you?
Make a big banner with a massive wont flashing lights everywhere.
Huh oh. And maybe I'll do a little cheerleading act too,
so that way, if you somehow cannot see the sign,
you'll hear me yelling at you no no, no, no
no no before you say anything. I know you're worried.
I'll make sure to use real simple words so even
and you can understand it.
Speaker 3: M yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'll stop making fun of you when you stop
being intentionally ignorant. See that is ignorance.
Speaker 3: Admit it. You like me?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I mean like like me? Like me? Yes,
you do. It's pretty obvious, dude. Okay, if we pretend
that you didn't get all nervous and flustered when you
woke up to me laying next to you and then
mm hmm yeah whatever, it's not that shocking to see
me here. Okay. Anyway, let's think about what could possibly
make me think that you like me. M m mmmm
mmm hm hm oh. How about three months ago when
we were both at a party and you were acting
all too cool. But then our eyes met from across
the room, and you look You looked like you had
seen a ghost, your eyes starting around the room, pretending
desperately that you weren't staring at me.
Speaker 2: Hm hm, Yes you were.
Speaker 1: And I know why too. I was all dressed up.
I had gone all out with my makeup. You were
a little starstruck, weren't chut?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you were just put off that I was staring
at you. You're right, I wasn't staring. I I just
happened to catch your gaze. Obviously, side let's pretend that
was just a weird moment. Whatever. What about the time
when I was going to the movies with my family
and my brother invited you along. First, you were so
nervous to sit next to me, But then it got
worse when you reached for the popcorn and accidentally crabbed
my hand. I know it was dark in there, but
I could still see that look on your face. You
couldn't believe that you touched my hand. And then I'm
pretty sure I leaned over and jokingly said something like
what was it? Oh, I whispered, you should take me
to dinner first, cutie, and then you spilled your jingle
over yourself. You are just going off and get yourself
cleaned up with your tail between your legs. But okay,
if that's not enough, how about last month when you
came with my brother to drop some stuff off at
my dorm. Oh it is meaningful. Actually you didn't have
to come. Heck, you could have just waited in the car,
but you came all the way up to the top
floor just to catch up a little me. Should I
go on or are you ready to admit that not
so little crush you have on me? He M? What? No?
I don't, dude, I do not like you. You're okay
for like a few minutes at a time, but I
can't stand you for much longer than that, let alone
forming some sort of attraction or crush or whatever. Shut up,
stop saying that. It's like you're trying to deflect the
obvious fact that you are the one that likes to me.
Oh yeah, you got any evidence or just empty statements?
We already went over this. I wasn't staring at you
at that party. I just met your caze. You think
I got all dressed up for you that night, keep dreaming.
I have standards.
Speaker 2: The movie you grabbed my hand. Yeah, I well, sure,
I chose to sit next to you.
Speaker 1: Okay, No, don't say it like that. I didn't choose
to sit next to you. That's just how it played out.
Oh and don't even try to bring up that I
called you a cutie.
Speaker 2: I was just teasing you.
Speaker 1: It's not I actually feel. Oh yeah, I came here
because well, because my brother texted me and told me
that your house sitting in I wanted to come here
and make sure you were taking care of the place. Obviously, yes,
in the middle of the night, because that's when you
would be least expecting a surprise inspection. And plus, as
a bonus, I get a chance to tease you, which
I will never turn down. No, was shut up. I
tease you because you're a little tor. Don't read into it. Uh. Yeah,
of course I came here right away to tease you.
No time like the present, right, and I got to
scare you awake as an extra bonist, just as planned.
Oh my gosh, you're so desperate to convince me that
you don't have the crush on me. Oh, it's kind
of pathetic to be honest, Yeah, pathetic, Just say how
you feel, Okay, it's not that hard. No, it's not complicated. Actually,
you just have to be honest, that's all. You just
need to consider how other people feel and stop withholding
your true feelings from them. And it just drives me
crazy when people like you can't or or won't admit
that they have feelings for someone. It's cowardice nothing more.
You just can't bring yourself to tell me because you're
scared of rejection. You're terrified that everything will be ruined
and you'll wind up embarrassed. I said, shut up, come here,
m Oh, you're so annoying. No, I'll let you up
when you admit it. I'm not leaving here until you
say that you want me. Come on, what are you
gonna do? You're gonna overpower me? H, you won't. You're
too scared of me to even admit your feelings. No
way you would try to push back. Hey, no fear,
I wasn't ready.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, just admit it already. Admit that you
like me, please, because I.
Speaker 1: I I want you to feel the same way about
me now I feel about you. I mean no, no, no, no, no, no,
I misspoke. I misspoke, No, because you weren't making me
so mad and I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.
Just ignore me. I no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no crap no, get off me, please please.
Speaker 3: Please no, don't laugh. I'm on the mood.
Speaker 1: I I just I'm sorry. I'm sorry for coming over
here at this hour and leaking you up, and for
all the teasing and for all the me and stuff
I said tonight and it wasn't even really directed at you.
I I don't know why it happened. When we were younger,
you were just some brat my brother hang out with.
And then I don't know, we got older and.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's strange, but I actually remember the exact moment where
I started to feel, you know, feel well, feelings for you.
And it was during that bad storm a year and
a bit ago. I feel like it went on for days.
The power was out, it was the middle of winter
with no heat. It sucked. And then you came over
to check on us, and you specifically went out of
your way to buy me those fluffy socks, yes, the
ones with the dinos. I know, it's such a strange
moment to have such an effect on me. But the
thing is, it wasn't just a pair of socks. Like
I know, socks are the most cliche, worst gift to
get someone. You got me them because he knew that
I had poor circulation on my feet and then they
get coold really easy. And you only knew that because
I randomly mentioned it in passing. And the fact that
you came over not only to check on us, but
recalled this like super tiny detail. I don't know, it
just it hit me hard, like like really hard. More
so because my boyfriend at the time couldn't even be
bothered to send me a courtesy message, let alone follow
up to check on me or buy me really cute
fuzzy Dino socks. You know, I could tell him something
right important at his face and he'd never remember it
the next day, no matter how many times I would
tell him, And then it's like you go ahead and
recall some tiny little detail. It really just put everything
into perspective. No, No, I didn't break up with him
because of you. I think it was just one of
many moments that made me realize he was a jerk
that didn't really care about me, and I guess it
took you showing me what it looked like to have
someone care to give me a different perspective, and after that,
I just saw you differently. Whenever i'd see you, Instead
of feeling pleasantly irritated, I felt nervous, kind of like
I was going on a date for the first time
with someone. I know that sounds weird, and it was weird,
and I thought it was just me trying to rebound
from the breakup or something. But no longer that the
feeling dragged on, I kind of just well. I had
to come to the obvious conclusion that, even though I
didn't want to admit it, I developed like a huge
crush on you. Strangely, before I even thought about the
fact that I liked you, I thought to myself that
I needed to date someone like you, and then I realized, no,
it's just you. And I know this sounds insane, but
I actually worked up the courage to ask you out
a few times, but I never went through with it. Obviously,
I don't know. I was like super confident about it,
and I figured I would like buy some flowers and
like do a whole reverse the gender stereotype shit, and
like make dinner for you and like take you out,
and I don't know, but every time I would get
there and i'd be about to ask, I would feel
like I was going to pass out or vomit or both,
and I would just be panicking. And what if you
didn't like me back? Or what if I looked like
a total idiot? So you'd open the door and I'd
just flick you on the nose or tell you you
looked like a dummy. And it's so stupid. I mean,
don't get me wrong, I had a lot of fun
messing with you, although looking back, that was probably just
because for a moment, I could check myself into thinking
that we could be something or how we were something.
I'm such an idiot. Wait, I need to ask. I
know I've said a lot tonight, but but honestly, and
please be honest. Do you feel the same way about
me or or have a crush on me at all?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Thank god, thank god, I come here. Yes, s s,
come on, we just admitted we have feelings for each other.
This is little worthy. Oh my gosh. Hm hm No,
I wasn't sure. You're a pretty shy guy, so it
could have been a crush but it could have also
just been you being awkward. I didn't know. I just not.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I came here to me because I had a small
fit of kurds. I wanted to tell you everything, but
then I chickened out, aunt tad a bit of an outburst,
if we can call it that. I'm sorry. I got
angry with myself that I couldn't just tell you, and
then I took it out on you. I have no
interest in dating anyone except for you, but I didn't
have the guts to ask you out. So I was stuck,
and that really sucked. I figured I needed some answer,
to get closure at the very least, so I came
here to, uh well, squeeze an answer out of you.
I guess, Oh my god, I'm good. Better, No, you
better not pity me.
Speaker 3: Shut up.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I feel so much later now. I
just feel stupid for a feeling like I did for
so long that I guess I can't do anything about
it now. So what are you doing this weekend? I
was thinking we could, if you wanted, maybe go on
a date. Whatever you want. We could grab dinner, watch
a movie, or we could just stay here and order in.
I'm cool with whatever. Yeah, that sounds good. It would
be more comfortable if we did something simple here. We
don't need to go overboard, right cool? Cool? Oh my gosh,
so I guess it's a date. Then. Oh no, you
better not tell my brother about this about us. I
won't tell him, but just let me be the one
to tell him, Okay, because it'll go over better that way,
trust me. Like, imagine your best friend comes up to
you and it's all like, hey man, gotta tell you
I'm going out with your sister. Hope.
Speaker 2: That's cool, bro, good to go?
Speaker 1: Like you go what I mean?
Speaker 3: That'd be weird?
Speaker 1: No, that's that's my best version of your voice. I'm sorry. Okay, okay, okay,
I guess that is true. Pretty weird to tell my
brother I'm dating his closest friend. Okay, yeah, we'll do
it together. We'll just go to dinner with him and
break the news. Well, he's in a good mood. I
don't mean like tragic news. No, break the news was
not the right term.
Speaker 2: Shut up.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. How did I fall for an annoying
to warp like you?
Speaker 2: Huh?
Speaker 1: I suppose that makes sense. I'm a little bit of
a bread some night. But you're worse. No, you are.
Oh my gosh, my adrenaline is dropping hard. What time
is it? Oh my gosh, it's late. I thought it
was like midnight. It's two am. Okay, I gotta get
some sleep. I promise my friend i'd help them with
something tomorrow morning, so I don't want to be up
to mm hmmm. No, I'm not sleeping with you in
your bed. We are not quite bury yet, not to mention,
you still have major boy cooties. I'm gonna sleep in
my bed unless you let someone break in and steal
in when you are snoozing on the job. M oh good,
and you have some skill as a house thatter. I
guess all right, Well, good night, and i'll see you
tomorrow then mm yeah, okay. Oh and before I forget
mm hmm okay, bye,