1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:01,960 Speaker 1: We live in a society where there is so much 2 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,799 going on all at one time. How are you expected 3 00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:10,400 to keep up? Arrow dot netre dot net. Not one podcast, 4 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,919 there are seventeen to choose from because it deals with 5 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,600 everyday life and how we are moving through it. Aro 6 00:00:16,839 --> 00:00:19,000 dot net. Thank you so much for your support. 7 00:00:19,359 --> 00:00:20,920 Speaker 2: Great, how are you well? 8 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:22,559 Speaker 1: I got to tell you something. I think that the 9 00:00:23,199 --> 00:00:25,359 opposite side of the universe has been trying to knock 10 00:00:25,399 --> 00:00:27,679 you and I off our path, because, I mean, every 11 00:00:27,719 --> 00:00:30,000 time that we tried to get together last week, something 12 00:00:30,079 --> 00:00:31,000 stood in the way. 13 00:00:31,879 --> 00:00:35,039 Speaker 2: I realize that, and I'm glad we're connected now. 14 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:38,039 Speaker 1: Well, I think it's because of our connection with Buddhism, yoga, 15 00:00:38,119 --> 00:00:41,280 plant meditation, as well as Native American spirituality. And with 16 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,439 all that energy just inside this studio, if you could 17 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:45,520 just see this room, you know, it's like, do not 18 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,920 stop with Wendy, do not stop that She's got something 19 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,439 here that people need right now. 20 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,280 Speaker 2: Oh. I'm so happy to hear that, and I wish 21 00:00:53,359 --> 00:00:56,960 I could see the studio. Great to be talking with you. 22 00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:59,520 Speaker 1: Well, the thing is is that you speak a truth 23 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,240 that a lot of people they know about it, but 24 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,599 they're not speaking it they're not activating it. They're not 25 00:01:04,799 --> 00:01:07,799 There's just something missing, and we need someone like yourself 26 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:11,239 to say, hey, my book, my pretty Baby, you need 27 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,879 to stop and just take it one page at a time. 28 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,400 If you can only give me a half a page, 29 00:01:15,519 --> 00:01:16,680 I'm okay. 30 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:18,799 Speaker 2: Thank you. 31 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:19,400 Speaker 1: Yes. 32 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:23,159 Speaker 2: I hope that everyone will read My Pretty Baby, and 33 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,159 then it will be a guidebook for them to find 34 00:01:26,359 --> 00:01:29,000 inner peace and to find the beginning of how to 35 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:33,280 heal and how to move forward in their life. And 36 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:38,799 I outline all the things that I did to overcome 37 00:01:38,879 --> 00:01:43,439 a lot of grief and sadness and intergenerational trauma and 38 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:47,519 childhood trauma. And I tried it all. And you know 39 00:01:47,599 --> 00:01:50,760 how they say it takes a village, Well, I use 40 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:55,040 the entire village from as you say, you know, Buddhism 41 00:01:55,079 --> 00:01:59,000 and meditation and yoga and twelve step programs, a Native 42 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:05,319 American spiritual reality, psychotherapy writing. I used it all. And 43 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:09,080 if that's what it takes, then by golly, go right 44 00:02:09,159 --> 00:02:12,479 ahead and try it all. And you know, if something 45 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,199 works for you for a while and then you want 46 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,960 to try something else, then that's okay. And especially like 47 00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:21,759 you know, with twelve step programs, I know there's so 48 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:26,719 many offshoots of twelve step programs right, and for me, 49 00:02:27,159 --> 00:02:32,360 the twelve step program absolutely work. The community being surrounded 50 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,080 by good people who are on the same journey as you, 51 00:02:35,479 --> 00:02:39,159 and you may not agree with every single philosophy, but 52 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:43,319 use the good and you know, just move on to 53 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,080 the next thing. 54 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,439 Speaker 1: Are you a believer in the fact that you experienced 55 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,280 all the things that you have and said yes to 56 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,400 a lot of things and then still endured a lot 57 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,039 of testing because they needed you as a student to 58 00:02:54,159 --> 00:02:56,560 know by fact and not by what's in a book. 59 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:03,319 Speaker 2: Absolutely, and you just you know, I would study, I would, 60 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,759 I would show up for myself. I think that's the 61 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,159 biggest thing is show up for yourself. 62 00:03:09,479 --> 00:03:14,439 Speaker 1: Amen. That is so true. That is so true. But 63 00:03:14,439 --> 00:03:16,400 but you know, the thing is, though, is that when 64 00:03:16,439 --> 00:03:19,439 when you step into these journeys that you have and 65 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,639 you bring up the Buddhism and the yoga, the plant meditation, 66 00:03:22,759 --> 00:03:26,039 and the Native American spirituality, there's a lot of outsiders 67 00:03:26,159 --> 00:03:28,840 that that really kind of dead start giving you nicknames 68 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,599 and things. For instance, I'm deeply bothered when someone calls 69 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:34,120 me shaman. I don't I don't want to. That is 70 00:03:34,159 --> 00:03:37,240 not the the the area that I am. But did 71 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,879 you earn nicknames along the way that you're going? I 72 00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:42,000 don't know, man, I think you need to look at 73 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,240 Wendy a little bit closer than what you see. 74 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:50,599 Speaker 2: No. Absolutely, I'm just I'm just me. I'm just I'm 75 00:03:50,639 --> 00:03:56,240 not famous. I'm not a guru. I've taught yoga for years, 76 00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:00,400 but I would never take on any kind of sort 77 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,400 of title. I'm not you know, I'm a yo I 78 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:06,240 was a yoga teacher. That was about as far as 79 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:10,759 I would go. I studied Native American spirituality for myself, 80 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:15,400 and I studied with Native American elders, and I never 81 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:20,360 would I never would have continued to practice if it 82 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:25,079 wasn't directly with Native people. I'm very leery of anyone 83 00:04:25,199 --> 00:04:27,959 who does a sweat lodge and then they start calling 84 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,759 themselves as shaman. There's a lot of you know, there's 85 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,720 a lot of shysters in the world, and we have 86 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,879 to be careful about that. So I would just encourage people, 87 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:41,439 you know, to just be discerning and in terms, you know, 88 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:45,959 I don't want to appropriate anyone else's culture. And enough 89 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:50,040 of that has been done towards Native American people, and 90 00:04:50,079 --> 00:04:55,600 I'm very keen that all of my teachers weren't either 91 00:04:56,040 --> 00:05:02,199 Native American themselves or they had vetted and rained white 92 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:06,560 people who I had also done ceremonies with. And my 93 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:10,839 my brother Wesley black Elk and his father, Grandpa Wallace 94 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:19,800 black Elk, and also bare Heart William Marcellus Williams were 95 00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:26,360 and are Native people that many of us studied with, 96 00:05:26,879 --> 00:05:32,000 but by no means do any of them, even Wesley 97 00:05:32,079 --> 00:05:36,879 black Elk, who he doesn't call himself a shaman. So 98 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,959 I think, you know, a lot of people want to 99 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:42,120 make money off of that, and you should never ever 100 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:47,439 ever have to pay to attend a ceremony such as 101 00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:50,920 a sweat lodge. So if somebody says, hey, for fifty bucks, 102 00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:53,839 you can take a sweat lodge, you need to run away. 103 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,480 Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I call that candy, I really do, yeah, 104 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,480 Because I mean I sat down with a medicine man 105 00:05:58,519 --> 00:06:01,240 and right away, and I love his honesty, and today 106 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:03,839 I embrace his honesty. He goes, what are you doing here, 107 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:06,600 white Eye? And I'm going what he says, what are 108 00:06:06,639 --> 00:06:08,639 you doing here? White Eye? But the thing is, though, 109 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,600 is that I didn't leave. But then when he took 110 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:13,319 me through the forest, and started showing me the importance 111 00:06:13,399 --> 00:06:15,600 of plant life and what to look for and what 112 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,920 to study when it comes to the different animals. See. 113 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,319 And that's why I'm telling you, that's why I'm connected 114 00:06:20,319 --> 00:06:22,600 to your book, Wendy. It's almost like you're my tick 115 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:25,800 dot Han of this modern day because you have walked 116 00:06:25,959 --> 00:06:28,879 the path and you are sharing the path right now 117 00:06:28,959 --> 00:06:30,120 with my pretty baby. 118 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 2: Thank you so much. I you know, and you can 119 00:06:33,959 --> 00:06:36,360 do it on your own. You don't even necessarily have 120 00:06:36,519 --> 00:06:40,120 to find a teacher. You can create ceremonies of your 121 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,600 for yourself. You can go into nature, you can sit 122 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:48,000 and meditate and follow your breath, and you know, just 123 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:52,519 go to your inner self, your inner wisdom, your higher power. 124 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,040 You know, in Buddhism they call it your Buddha nature, 125 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:59,680 and twelve step programs they call it your higher nature. 126 00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:05,399 And in Native American spirituality, again it's the wisdom of nature. 127 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:09,480 It's the wisdom of plant life and animal life and 128 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:13,879 finding who you are deep inside. And I believe you 129 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:17,000 know you can. You can read books, you can study, 130 00:07:17,319 --> 00:07:20,800 you can spend time in nature and in quiet and 131 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:24,839 tune in to that inner wisdom that you do have. 132 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,560 And you know, in this busy world. My native teacher 133 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,600 fare Heart would say, you know, this was many, many 134 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:35,120 years ago. It's been thirty years that we live in 135 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,240 a world that is so noisy it's a wonder we 136 00:07:38,399 --> 00:07:42,319 can't hear ourselves. And it's only gotten, you know, more 137 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:45,600 and more extreme over the last thirty years, with the 138 00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:48,519 Internet and all of the things that we're bombarded by. 139 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,639 And so one of the things that I truly believe 140 00:07:51,759 --> 00:07:55,079 is that people need to spend time alone, People need 141 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:58,959 to spend time in nature, People need to just tune 142 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,199 in and you know, and even in meditation, people a 143 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:05,480 lot of times have I can't do it. I can't meditate. 144 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,800 You don't have to sit cross legged in a place, 145 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:12,000 you know and close your eyes and meditate. You can 146 00:08:12,079 --> 00:08:15,879 do walking meditation, you know, just walking in the woods 147 00:08:15,879 --> 00:08:20,720 and listening to your feet touch the earth tick not han, 148 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:24,199 as you mentioned. You know, I did walking meditation with 149 00:08:24,319 --> 00:08:28,399 tick not han and just following your breath. And even 150 00:08:28,439 --> 00:08:33,200 if it's only one inhale and one exhale. You know, 151 00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:38,600 people can find even apps today. Ten percent is a 152 00:08:38,639 --> 00:08:43,240 wonderful app that has Buddhist teachers on it that will 153 00:08:43,279 --> 00:08:46,320 guide you and how to meditate and how to just 154 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:50,240 follow your breath, because yes, in this very busy and 155 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:55,240 loud world, sometimes it's even hard to hear ourselves breathing. 156 00:08:55,840 --> 00:09:00,759 And so that is my biggest takeaway for for people 157 00:09:00,879 --> 00:09:06,480 is to go within. But also I want my readers 158 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:11,799 to know that although trauma is universal, so is healing, 159 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:16,159 and telling the truth about what happened isn't about blame 160 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:22,080 or retribution. It's about breaking cycles and healing, especially if 161 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,840 you have children. One of the greatest gifts you can 162 00:09:24,919 --> 00:09:28,279 give your children is to be a cycle breaker yourself. 163 00:09:28,759 --> 00:09:33,320 And healing isn't possible. It's contagious and the best sense 164 00:09:33,399 --> 00:09:37,679 of the word healing is contagious. And even in my book, 165 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:41,279 as I talk about, you know, my celebrity encounters, the 166 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:45,000 reason that I outline, you know, hanging out with Joni 167 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:49,039 Mitchell and meeting Ringo Starr and working with Hunter S. 168 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:54,360 Thompson is because these people mirrored back to me my 169 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:58,279 self worth and it was amazing to me that these 170 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:06,360 you know, extremely you know, extreme celebrities, as if you 171 00:10:06,399 --> 00:10:10,879 would took the time to be kind to me. And 172 00:10:10,919 --> 00:10:13,159 that's the other thing is I want people to know 173 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:18,360 how your act of kindness to another stranger. You never 174 00:10:18,519 --> 00:10:22,480 know how that might impact their life, how that might 175 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:26,279 really make a difference in their life, And you never 176 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:30,480 know what kind of burdens people are carrying. So it's 177 00:10:30,639 --> 00:10:35,320 always good, you know, just just lead with kindness because 178 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:40,320 we don't know another person's story, and that kindness is contagious, 179 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:44,799 and we just need so much more contagious kindness to 180 00:10:44,879 --> 00:10:50,000 be contagious in the world today, just by being kind 181 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:52,240 to a stranger, because you never know. 182 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,600 Speaker 1: Please do not move. There's more with Wendy Korea coming 183 00:10:55,679 --> 00:11:00,240 up next the name of a book, My Pretty Baby. 184 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:03,440 We are back with Wendy B. Korea. You know, you 185 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,480 bring up a very interesting point in fact in my 186 00:11:05,519 --> 00:11:08,080 personal life. It was it was five years ago. Just 187 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,200 because I've never had a real job. I've been in 188 00:11:10,279 --> 00:11:12,639 radio my entire life, I decided to take up a 189 00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:15,360 job at a grocery store. Why because I want to 190 00:11:15,399 --> 00:11:18,399 hear other people's stories. And you are spot on. You 191 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,799 do not know what that person is carrying with them. 192 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,000 But yet, because when I'm in that store and I 193 00:11:24,039 --> 00:11:26,679 happen to be wearing their jersey, they're open with me, 194 00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:29,480 and I get to listen to them and to me, 195 00:11:29,639 --> 00:11:32,159 that is so important because it's not that they're happy 196 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:35,279 to see me. They're happy that I see them, and 197 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:39,200 that's what I want. I want to see them. 198 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:43,720 Speaker 2: Absolutely that and that is one of the things that 199 00:11:43,879 --> 00:11:47,080 actually can rewire your brain. So I want to make 200 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:50,320 sure that I mentioned that. You know, while I was 201 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,279 writing my book, I also studied the works of doctor 202 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:57,759 Gabor Mattey and Thessel vander Kolk and Peter Levine. And 203 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:03,000 trauma isn't just an external event, it's what happens inside 204 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:07,159 of us. As doctor Gabor matte says, the stress literally 205 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:10,799 changes the brain and the body, especially the central nervous 206 00:12:10,799 --> 00:12:15,360 system and the immune system. And trauma does not go away. 207 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:21,440 It hides in the nervous system. So anxiety, addiction, rage, 208 00:12:21,799 --> 00:12:26,399 chronic illnesses are a way of the body keeping score, 209 00:12:26,639 --> 00:12:30,960 as doctor Bessel vander Kolch puts it. And we now 210 00:12:31,039 --> 00:12:35,639 know that about two thirds of adults have some form 211 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:41,240 of adverse childhood experiences. And the listeners can google adverse 212 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:46,919 childhood experiences quiz. It's ten question quiz and you can 213 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:51,799 find your number. You know, out of ten, we know 214 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:56,000 that one in six adults has a score of four 215 00:12:56,399 --> 00:12:59,600 or more, and that the trauma that you carry from 216 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:05,000 your child childhood can increase your risk for addiction, mental illness, 217 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:12,120 and chronic illnesses. Yes, and in her research, doctor Nabin 218 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:16,720 Burke Harris wrote the book The Deepest Well, we now 219 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:21,039 know that if you have a score of six or more, 220 00:13:21,519 --> 00:13:26,840 your life expectancy can decrease by twenty years. But and 221 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:30,279 my score, I have a seven out of ten. But 222 00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:34,320 what we now know is that that can be reversed. 223 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:40,440 And what My Pretty Baby outlines is what I intuitively did. 224 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,639 And the research now shows that all the things that 225 00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:48,799 I tried are exactly what we can do to heal. 226 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:52,720 So someone can use my book My Pretty Baby as 227 00:13:52,759 --> 00:13:58,919 a guidebook like oh meditation, OH yoga, OH walking in nature, 228 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:03,399 oh virtuality. And we do know also from all the 229 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:08,480 research that it's best in conjunction with psychotherapy, which is 230 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:13,720 a fabulous way to heal, especially using the technique of 231 00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:20,799 EMDR or imovement desensitation. We also need to include the 232 00:14:20,919 --> 00:14:30,600 somatic the sematic, which is the body moving, yoga, dancing, hiking, meditation, massage, 233 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:34,639 and using all of these forms is a way for 234 00:14:34,759 --> 00:14:35,519 us to heal. 235 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:39,440 Speaker 1: Wow, it's just there's so much information. And one of 236 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,720 the things that I wanted to cover so deeply was 237 00:14:41,759 --> 00:14:44,120 the fact that in My Pretty Baby you talk about 238 00:14:44,159 --> 00:14:47,320 discovering a half sister. Now I've had to deal with that, 239 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:51,519 and I remember my authentic sister from my mother. She 240 00:14:51,559 --> 00:14:52,840 looks at me and she goes, Oh, now that you 241 00:14:52,919 --> 00:14:55,679 found Jamie, you don't need me anymore. I'm just the 242 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,759 first sister in your life. And it was did you 243 00:14:57,799 --> 00:15:00,320 have to deal with anything like that where the other 244 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:03,279 sisters or other family members got jealous because you discovered 245 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:06,519 others in the family due to the lives that these 246 00:15:06,559 --> 00:15:09,159 people had before us. No. 247 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:14,399 Speaker 2: Actually, and unfortunately my body my book also delves into 248 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:19,639 estrangement from family members because, as you will learn, the 249 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,399 two siblings who were seven and twelve years older than 250 00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:24,840 me that I know, quote unquote grew up with or 251 00:15:24,919 --> 00:15:30,120 knew were never very close to me. And that is 252 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:36,519 outlined in my book. And it is because directly because 253 00:15:36,679 --> 00:15:40,399 it turns out that my father was not my father. 254 00:15:40,519 --> 00:15:44,879 And sorry to be the spoiler alert of my of 255 00:15:44,919 --> 00:15:47,799 my book, but that is in fact what would happened. 256 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:52,840 And so I did find a half sister. It took 257 00:15:52,879 --> 00:15:56,600 me about a year to find her. And she actually 258 00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:02,080 was the loving and that I had always longed for. 259 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:06,399 Speaker 1: Yep, yep, so true, so true. We have something in 260 00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:08,639 common and you kind of brought it up there a 261 00:16:08,639 --> 00:16:10,559 few minutes ago, and I was Ringo star where you 262 00:16:10,559 --> 00:16:12,000 had the chance to meet with him? And I realized 263 00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:14,639 it was at an AA meeting, my chance of meeting him. 264 00:16:14,639 --> 00:16:16,840 We were playing ping pong at a concert place where 265 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,279 he was about to hit the stage, and that was 266 00:16:18,279 --> 00:16:21,240 his place of peace, playing ping ping pong. What what 267 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:24,519 did you learn in your meeting with Ringo and what 268 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:27,080 and do you still practice any of that today? 269 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 2: Well, what I talk about in my book is my 270 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,960 first AA meeting and I was arrested, thrown in jail 271 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:38,159 for a GUI. I had court ordered AA meetings and 272 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,080 I was in the music industry. So I found a 273 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:45,960 music industry AA meeting, my very first one. And I 274 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,480 walked in and here comes this gentleman who was very 275 00:16:49,519 --> 00:16:52,639 familiar to me, with this big, beautiful smile, extending his 276 00:16:52,759 --> 00:16:57,000 hands and said and said to me, hello, my name 277 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,480 is Richard. And of course my brain exploded and I 278 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:03,519 was like, well, you know, I didn't say it out loud, 279 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,359 but in my brain, I said, oh, my god, your 280 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:08,759 name might be Richard, but it's also Ringo. And he 281 00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:12,519 shook my hand, and his beautiful wife, Barbara Box shook 282 00:17:12,559 --> 00:17:15,839 my hand, and they welcomed me to my first AA meeting. 283 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,880 And I sat there in the meeting thinking, if Ringo 284 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:22,200 Star can get sober, then so can I. And if 285 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,799 he's this dedicated to his sobriety that he will show 286 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:30,319 up to greet newcomers, this is the kind of community 287 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:32,720 that I need to be in. And that's why I 288 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:36,880 illustrate that because of his kindness and his you know, 289 00:17:37,079 --> 00:17:40,759 showing up for newcomers to say welcome. It was so 290 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:45,079 impactful and so important to me and helped me to 291 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,400 stay in AA. 292 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,119 Speaker 1: Of course, Yeah, that's nice. All right. Here's a question. 293 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:50,799 This is a real question between the two of us, 294 00:17:50,839 --> 00:17:54,160 because we're both radio people. You know what it's like 295 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,039 in the industry. Listeners do not and I don't. I 296 00:17:56,039 --> 00:17:58,480 don't want to take the man behind the curtain and 297 00:17:58,799 --> 00:18:01,119 exposing But the thing is always that you and I 298 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,880 got into that business to touch human lives. The thing is, though, 299 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,720 is we have program directors and consultants that didn't really 300 00:18:06,839 --> 00:18:09,000 see the same thing that we did. What were your 301 00:18:09,039 --> 00:18:12,839 personal experiences as that radio person, and what was the 302 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,920 escape system when you finally realize I need to be 303 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,240 in people's lives. I don't need to be saying here's 304 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,720 another four in a row without talk. 305 00:18:21,279 --> 00:18:24,319 Speaker 2: Well, it was a wonderful experience because I had left 306 00:18:24,519 --> 00:18:26,720 LA I was in the music industry, and I moved 307 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:32,440 to Aspen, Colorado for this job, and I just wanted 308 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:35,279 to get out of Los Angeles. But I had always 309 00:18:35,319 --> 00:18:37,880 wanted to be on the radio, and of course for me, 310 00:18:38,039 --> 00:18:41,079 I thought moving to Aspen, I would be a big 311 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:43,680 fish and a little pond instead of a little fish 312 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,119 and a big pond at Los Angeles. And I was 313 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:51,000 just thrilled to be on KSPNFM, Roaring Fork Radio. And 314 00:18:51,279 --> 00:18:54,680 I loved I loved the whole experience. And as I 315 00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:59,160 outline in my book, that is how I met Hunter S. Thompson. 316 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:03,079 He called in one night to say, yeah, would you 317 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:07,680 play me some warrens Yvon Lawyers, Guns and Money? And 318 00:19:07,839 --> 00:19:11,400 so I played, you know, Warren Zevon for Hunter for 319 00:19:11,519 --> 00:19:15,640 many many more nights. But then I met him at 320 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,599 the restaurant where I also worked. Because living in Askeden 321 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:22,839 you needed to work about ten jobs and that's when 322 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,640 he asked me if I wanted to be his assistant. 323 00:19:25,759 --> 00:19:31,839 So I became his assistant. But then also later a 324 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:35,440 man called in with this beautiful Spanish accent and we 325 00:19:35,519 --> 00:19:41,519 got to talking and that he became my husband. So 326 00:19:42,079 --> 00:19:45,079 for me being a DJ on the radio, I got 327 00:19:45,079 --> 00:19:48,640 to be Hunter S. Thompson's assistant, and that's how I 328 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,839 met my husband. So for me, that was the most important. 329 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:56,480 That was the whole reason that I became a DJ ONKSPN, 330 00:19:56,599 --> 00:20:00,680 and I would have loved to stayed working in radio 331 00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:04,359 buds I ran off with the man that would become 332 00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:08,079 my husband and we wound up moving to Chicago. Oh. 333 00:20:08,319 --> 00:20:10,799 So for me, it was a fabulous experience. 334 00:20:10,839 --> 00:20:12,839 Speaker 1: Wow, radio is how I met my wife. But I 335 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,759 love the way that she she got my attention. She 336 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:16,880 looked at me and she goes, don't give me any 337 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:19,559 of your DJ radio ego. Crap. I know people more 338 00:20:19,559 --> 00:20:21,519 famous than you. And I went, that's the one I want. 339 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:25,039 That's the one that's her. And we've thirty three years 340 00:20:25,079 --> 00:20:27,359 strong in this because she said, do not give me 341 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:31,599 your ego, buddy boy. But you know that's what's that's 342 00:20:31,599 --> 00:20:33,480 where we are today. It's like don't give me your ego, 343 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,079 just give me your story. Let's rock, Let's all go 344 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:37,119 together forward. 345 00:20:38,319 --> 00:20:42,920 Speaker 2: Yes, Oh my gosh, well my husband and I are 346 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,680 thirty years. 347 00:20:44,279 --> 00:20:50,880 Speaker 1: Wow, congratulasons, thank you, thank you. Where can people go 348 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,559 to find out more about you, Wendy, because I know 349 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,039 that I think I remember from the first time we talked, 350 00:20:55,799 --> 00:20:58,720 you are not interested in a podcast. You are interested 351 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,680 in just getting your word out out there and just 352 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,480 connecting with people by way of words. 353 00:21:03,519 --> 00:21:08,559 Speaker 2: Basically, yes, absolutely, because I want people to read My 354 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:12,359 Pretty Baby. It is a call to action for us 355 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:16,079 to have these kinds of conversations about how you can 356 00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:19,119 be a cycle breaker and how you can heal yourself, 357 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:23,960 because our society needs healing, and I believe that this 358 00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:27,559 is how we're going to heal by having these conversations 359 00:21:27,599 --> 00:21:32,160 without shame, without blame, and we need to be able 360 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:38,079 to talk about this honestly and openly. Intergenerational and childhood trauma. 361 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:41,240 And as I said, you know, sixty one percent of 362 00:21:41,319 --> 00:21:46,720 adults have at least one adverse childhood experience and it 363 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:50,839 affects everyone. I mean, even if you had the fabulous 364 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:55,359 childhood and have none of that, still with sixty one percent. 365 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,279 It's going to be your spouse, your friend, your coworker, 366 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:03,400 your boss, your neighbors. And childhood trauma cost society billions 367 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:10,559 every year in healthcare, lost productivity, addiction, mental illness, and incarceration. 368 00:22:11,559 --> 00:22:15,319 And for me, my Pretty Baby is not just my story, 369 00:22:15,519 --> 00:22:19,759 it is everyone's. So people can buy My Pretty Baby 370 00:22:19,799 --> 00:22:23,960 wherever you buy books, of course, on Bookshop on Amazon, 371 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:29,839 and they can find me at www. Wendy b as 372 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:35,160 in boy corea COO R R EA. You can also 373 00:22:35,279 --> 00:22:38,920 find me on Instagram at Wendy B Korea or on 374 00:22:39,039 --> 00:22:43,920 Facebook at Wendy Korea. And I'm doing lots of podcasts 375 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:47,279 because I want to have this conversation. I love podcasts, 376 00:22:47,759 --> 00:22:51,079 and I'm also going to be doing panels at conferences. 377 00:22:51,559 --> 00:22:54,519 So if people you know, I hope you'll pick up 378 00:22:54,519 --> 00:22:56,440 a copy of the book and you'll reach out to 379 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:57,920 me and let me know what you think. 380 00:22:58,039 --> 00:22:59,839 Speaker 1: Well, I'll tell you where your book inspired me, and 381 00:23:00,039 --> 00:23:02,319 I will carry this forever with me. And that is 382 00:23:02,319 --> 00:23:04,400 is that there was a gentleman that came up to 383 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:06,440 me and he was going it's not that I can't hear, 384 00:23:06,559 --> 00:23:09,200 it's just I can't do anything but think about what 385 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,359 I'm going to say next when I'm in a conversation 386 00:23:11,759 --> 00:23:13,640 and I pulled from your book in the way that 387 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:15,799 I thought, do not think about what you're going to 388 00:23:15,839 --> 00:23:19,319 say next. Just embrace the moment and let nature do 389 00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,240 its course. And if there is silence, embrace it and 390 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,839 love it. You do not have to have something to 391 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:26,759 say after I've finished a sentence. 392 00:23:27,759 --> 00:23:30,279 Speaker 2: Absolutely, that's yes. 393 00:23:30,559 --> 00:23:35,039 Speaker 1: Just breathe, Just breathe exactly you're saying, Okay, well walk away. Okay. 394 00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:38,000 So it didn't have this big climatic ending. It doesn't matter. 395 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,480 We'll see each other tomorrow and when I see you, 396 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,200 I will still hug you. And that and that, to 397 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,359 me is what we're missing right now is go give 398 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:49,519 him a hug, don't just give him a fist bump. Absolutely, 399 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,480 we got to talk more times in the future, Windy. 400 00:23:53,519 --> 00:23:55,920 This cannot be the only time that you and I talk. 401 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,400 Speaker 2: Well, I would love to talk with you more. Please 402 00:23:59,599 --> 00:24:06,880 do reach out and let's spend more time just hanging out. 403 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:09,039 Speaker 1: Will you be brilliant today? 404 00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:14,119 Speaker 2: Okay, thank you so much, Erro. I appreciate this conversation, 405 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:18,079 and to the listeners, please take it one day at 406 00:24:18,079 --> 00:24:18,559 a time. 407 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,079 Speaker 1: I love it. I love where your heart is. Thank 408 00:24:21,079 --> 00:24:21,680 you so much.