Speaker 1: We live in a society where there is so much
going on all at one time. How are you expected
to keep up? Arrow dot netre dot net. Not one podcast,
there are seventeen to choose from because it deals with
everyday life and how we are moving through it. Aro
dot net. Thank you so much for your support.
Speaker 2: Great, how are you well?
Speaker 1: I got to tell you something. I think that the
opposite side of the universe has been trying to knock
you and I off our path, because, I mean, every
time that we tried to get together last week, something
stood in the way.
Speaker 2: I realize that, and I'm glad we're connected now.
Speaker 1: Well, I think it's because of our connection with Buddhism, yoga,
plant meditation, as well as Native American spirituality. And with
all that energy just inside this studio, if you could
just see this room, you know, it's like, do not
stop with Wendy, do not stop that She's got something
here that people need right now.
Speaker 2: Oh. I'm so happy to hear that, and I wish
I could see the studio. Great to be talking with you.
Speaker 1: Well, the thing is is that you speak a truth
that a lot of people they know about it, but
they're not speaking it they're not activating it. They're not
There's just something missing, and we need someone like yourself
to say, hey, my book, my pretty Baby, you need
to stop and just take it one page at a time.
If you can only give me a half a page,
I'm okay.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: I hope that everyone will read My Pretty Baby, and
then it will be a guidebook for them to find
inner peace and to find the beginning of how to
heal and how to move forward in their life. And
I outline all the things that I did to overcome
a lot of grief and sadness and intergenerational trauma and
childhood trauma. And I tried it all. And you know
how they say it takes a village, Well, I use
the entire village from as you say, you know, Buddhism
and meditation and yoga and twelve step programs, a Native
American spiritual reality, psychotherapy writing. I used it all. And
if that's what it takes, then by golly, go right
ahead and try it all. And you know, if something
works for you for a while and then you want
to try something else, then that's okay. And especially like
you know, with twelve step programs, I know there's so
many offshoots of twelve step programs right, and for me,
the twelve step program absolutely work. The community being surrounded
by good people who are on the same journey as you,
and you may not agree with every single philosophy, but
use the good and you know, just move on to
the next thing.
Speaker 1: Are you a believer in the fact that you experienced
all the things that you have and said yes to
a lot of things and then still endured a lot
of testing because they needed you as a student to
know by fact and not by what's in a book.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and you just you know, I would study, I would,
I would show up for myself. I think that's the
biggest thing is show up for yourself.
Speaker 1: Amen. That is so true. That is so true. But
but you know, the thing is, though, is that when
when you step into these journeys that you have and
you bring up the Buddhism and the yoga, the plant meditation,
and the Native American spirituality, there's a lot of outsiders
that that really kind of dead start giving you nicknames
and things. For instance, I'm deeply bothered when someone calls
me shaman. I don't I don't want to. That is
not the the the area that I am. But did
you earn nicknames along the way that you're going? I
don't know, man, I think you need to look at
Wendy a little bit closer than what you see.
Speaker 2: No. Absolutely, I'm just I'm just me. I'm just I'm
not famous. I'm not a guru. I've taught yoga for years,
but I would never take on any kind of sort
of title. I'm not you know, I'm a yo I
was a yoga teacher. That was about as far as
I would go. I studied Native American spirituality for myself,
and I studied with Native American elders, and I never
would I never would have continued to practice if it
wasn't directly with Native people. I'm very leery of anyone
who does a sweat lodge and then they start calling
themselves as shaman. There's a lot of you know, there's
a lot of shysters in the world, and we have
to be careful about that. So I would just encourage people,
you know, to just be discerning and in terms, you know,
I don't want to appropriate anyone else's culture. And enough
of that has been done towards Native American people, and
I'm very keen that all of my teachers weren't either
Native American themselves or they had vetted and rained white
people who I had also done ceremonies with. And my
my brother Wesley black Elk and his father, Grandpa Wallace
black Elk, and also bare Heart William Marcellus Williams were
and are Native people that many of us studied with,
but by no means do any of them, even Wesley
black Elk, who he doesn't call himself a shaman. So
I think, you know, a lot of people want to
make money off of that, and you should never ever
ever have to pay to attend a ceremony such as
a sweat lodge. So if somebody says, hey, for fifty bucks,
you can take a sweat lodge, you need to run away.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I call that candy, I really do, yeah,
Because I mean I sat down with a medicine man
and right away, and I love his honesty, and today
I embrace his honesty. He goes, what are you doing here,
white Eye? And I'm going what he says, what are
you doing here? White Eye? But the thing is, though,
is that I didn't leave. But then when he took
me through the forest, and started showing me the importance
of plant life and what to look for and what
to study when it comes to the different animals. See.
And that's why I'm telling you, that's why I'm connected
to your book, Wendy. It's almost like you're my tick
dot Han of this modern day because you have walked
the path and you are sharing the path right now
with my pretty baby.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. I you know, and you can
do it on your own. You don't even necessarily have
to find a teacher. You can create ceremonies of your
for yourself. You can go into nature, you can sit
and meditate and follow your breath, and you know, just
go to your inner self, your inner wisdom, your higher power.
You know, in Buddhism they call it your Buddha nature,
and twelve step programs they call it your higher nature.
And in Native American spirituality, again it's the wisdom of nature.
It's the wisdom of plant life and animal life and
finding who you are deep inside. And I believe you
know you can. You can read books, you can study,
you can spend time in nature and in quiet and
tune in to that inner wisdom that you do have.
And you know, in this busy world. My native teacher
fare Heart would say, you know, this was many, many
years ago. It's been thirty years that we live in
a world that is so noisy it's a wonder we
can't hear ourselves. And it's only gotten, you know, more
and more extreme over the last thirty years, with the
Internet and all of the things that we're bombarded by.
And so one of the things that I truly believe
is that people need to spend time alone, People need
to spend time in nature, People need to just tune
in and you know, and even in meditation, people a
lot of times have I can't do it. I can't meditate.
You don't have to sit cross legged in a place,
you know and close your eyes and meditate. You can
do walking meditation, you know, just walking in the woods
and listening to your feet touch the earth tick not han,
as you mentioned. You know, I did walking meditation with
tick not han and just following your breath. And even
if it's only one inhale and one exhale. You know,
people can find even apps today. Ten percent is a
wonderful app that has Buddhist teachers on it that will
guide you and how to meditate and how to just
follow your breath, because yes, in this very busy and
loud world, sometimes it's even hard to hear ourselves breathing.
And so that is my biggest takeaway for for people
is to go within. But also I want my readers
to know that although trauma is universal, so is healing,
and telling the truth about what happened isn't about blame
or retribution. It's about breaking cycles and healing, especially if
you have children. One of the greatest gifts you can
give your children is to be a cycle breaker yourself.
And healing isn't possible. It's contagious and the best sense
of the word healing is contagious. And even in my book,
as I talk about, you know, my celebrity encounters, the
reason that I outline, you know, hanging out with Joni
Mitchell and meeting Ringo Starr and working with Hunter S.
Thompson is because these people mirrored back to me my
self worth and it was amazing to me that these
you know, extremely you know, extreme celebrities, as if you
would took the time to be kind to me. And
that's the other thing is I want people to know
how your act of kindness to another stranger. You never
know how that might impact their life, how that might
really make a difference in their life, And you never
know what kind of burdens people are carrying. So it's
always good, you know, just just lead with kindness because
we don't know another person's story, and that kindness is contagious,
and we just need so much more contagious kindness to
be contagious in the world today, just by being kind
to a stranger, because you never know.
Speaker 1: Please do not move. There's more with Wendy Korea coming
up next the name of a book, My Pretty Baby.
We are back with Wendy B. Korea. You know, you
bring up a very interesting point in fact in my
personal life. It was it was five years ago. Just
because I've never had a real job. I've been in
radio my entire life, I decided to take up a
job at a grocery store. Why because I want to
hear other people's stories. And you are spot on. You
do not know what that person is carrying with them.
But yet, because when I'm in that store and I
happen to be wearing their jersey, they're open with me,
and I get to listen to them and to me,
that is so important because it's not that they're happy
to see me. They're happy that I see them, and
that's what I want. I want to see them.
Speaker 2: Absolutely that and that is one of the things that
actually can rewire your brain. So I want to make
sure that I mentioned that. You know, while I was
writing my book, I also studied the works of doctor
Gabor Mattey and Thessel vander Kolk and Peter Levine. And
trauma isn't just an external event, it's what happens inside
of us. As doctor Gabor matte says, the stress literally
changes the brain and the body, especially the central nervous
system and the immune system. And trauma does not go away.
It hides in the nervous system. So anxiety, addiction, rage,
chronic illnesses are a way of the body keeping score,
as doctor Bessel vander Kolch puts it. And we now
know that about two thirds of adults have some form
of adverse childhood experiences. And the listeners can google adverse
childhood experiences quiz. It's ten question quiz and you can
find your number. You know, out of ten, we know
that one in six adults has a score of four
or more, and that the trauma that you carry from
your child childhood can increase your risk for addiction, mental illness,
and chronic illnesses. Yes, and in her research, doctor Nabin
Burke Harris wrote the book The Deepest Well, we now
know that if you have a score of six or more,
your life expectancy can decrease by twenty years. But and
my score, I have a seven out of ten. But
what we now know is that that can be reversed.
And what My Pretty Baby outlines is what I intuitively did.
And the research now shows that all the things that
I tried are exactly what we can do to heal.
So someone can use my book My Pretty Baby as
a guidebook like oh meditation, OH yoga, OH walking in nature,
oh virtuality. And we do know also from all the
research that it's best in conjunction with psychotherapy, which is
a fabulous way to heal, especially using the technique of
EMDR or imovement desensitation. We also need to include the
somatic the sematic, which is the body moving, yoga, dancing, hiking, meditation, massage,
and using all of these forms is a way for
us to heal.
Speaker 1: Wow, it's just there's so much information. And one of
the things that I wanted to cover so deeply was
the fact that in My Pretty Baby you talk about
discovering a half sister. Now I've had to deal with that,
and I remember my authentic sister from my mother. She
looks at me and she goes, Oh, now that you
found Jamie, you don't need me anymore. I'm just the
first sister in your life. And it was did you
have to deal with anything like that where the other
sisters or other family members got jealous because you discovered
others in the family due to the lives that these
people had before us. No.
Speaker 2: Actually, and unfortunately my body my book also delves into
estrangement from family members because, as you will learn, the
two siblings who were seven and twelve years older than
me that I know, quote unquote grew up with or
knew were never very close to me. And that is
outlined in my book. And it is because directly because
it turns out that my father was not my father.
And sorry to be the spoiler alert of my of
my book, but that is in fact what would happened.
And so I did find a half sister. It took
me about a year to find her. And she actually
was the loving and that I had always longed for.
Speaker 1: Yep, yep, so true, so true. We have something in
common and you kind of brought it up there a
few minutes ago, and I was Ringo star where you
had the chance to meet with him? And I realized
it was at an AA meeting, my chance of meeting him.
We were playing ping pong at a concert place where
he was about to hit the stage, and that was
his place of peace, playing ping ping pong. What what
did you learn in your meeting with Ringo and what
and do you still practice any of that today?
Speaker 2: Well, what I talk about in my book is my
first AA meeting and I was arrested, thrown in jail
for a GUI. I had court ordered AA meetings and
I was in the music industry. So I found a
music industry AA meeting, my very first one. And I
walked in and here comes this gentleman who was very
familiar to me, with this big, beautiful smile, extending his
hands and said and said to me, hello, my name
is Richard. And of course my brain exploded and I
was like, well, you know, I didn't say it out loud,
but in my brain, I said, oh, my god, your
name might be Richard, but it's also Ringo. And he
shook my hand, and his beautiful wife, Barbara Box shook
my hand, and they welcomed me to my first AA meeting.
And I sat there in the meeting thinking, if Ringo
Star can get sober, then so can I. And if
he's this dedicated to his sobriety that he will show
up to greet newcomers, this is the kind of community
that I need to be in. And that's why I
illustrate that because of his kindness and his you know,
showing up for newcomers to say welcome. It was so
impactful and so important to me and helped me to
stay in AA.
Speaker 1: Of course, Yeah, that's nice. All right. Here's a question.
This is a real question between the two of us,
because we're both radio people. You know what it's like
in the industry. Listeners do not and I don't. I
don't want to take the man behind the curtain and
exposing But the thing is always that you and I
got into that business to touch human lives. The thing is, though,
is we have program directors and consultants that didn't really
see the same thing that we did. What were your
personal experiences as that radio person, and what was the
escape system when you finally realize I need to be
in people's lives. I don't need to be saying here's
another four in a row without talk.
Speaker 2: Well, it was a wonderful experience because I had left
LA I was in the music industry, and I moved
to Aspen, Colorado for this job, and I just wanted
to get out of Los Angeles. But I had always
wanted to be on the radio, and of course for me,
I thought moving to Aspen, I would be a big
fish and a little pond instead of a little fish
and a big pond at Los Angeles. And I was
just thrilled to be on KSPNFM, Roaring Fork Radio. And
I loved I loved the whole experience. And as I
outline in my book, that is how I met Hunter S. Thompson.
He called in one night to say, yeah, would you
play me some warrens Yvon Lawyers, Guns and Money? And
so I played, you know, Warren Zevon for Hunter for
many many more nights. But then I met him at
the restaurant where I also worked. Because living in Askeden
you needed to work about ten jobs and that's when
he asked me if I wanted to be his assistant.
So I became his assistant. But then also later a
man called in with this beautiful Spanish accent and we
got to talking and that he became my husband. So
for me being a DJ on the radio, I got
to be Hunter S. Thompson's assistant, and that's how I
met my husband. So for me, that was the most important.
That was the whole reason that I became a DJ ONKSPN,
and I would have loved to stayed working in radio
buds I ran off with the man that would become
my husband and we wound up moving to Chicago. Oh.
So for me, it was a fabulous experience.
Speaker 1: Wow, radio is how I met my wife. But I
love the way that she she got my attention. She
looked at me and she goes, don't give me any
of your DJ radio ego. Crap. I know people more
famous than you. And I went, that's the one I want.
That's the one that's her. And we've thirty three years
strong in this because she said, do not give me
your ego, buddy boy. But you know that's what's that's
where we are today. It's like don't give me your ego,
just give me your story. Let's rock, Let's all go
together forward.
Speaker 2: Yes, Oh my gosh, well my husband and I are
thirty years.
Speaker 1: Wow, congratulasons, thank you, thank you. Where can people go
to find out more about you, Wendy, because I know
that I think I remember from the first time we talked,
you are not interested in a podcast. You are interested
in just getting your word out out there and just
connecting with people by way of words.
Speaker 2: Basically, yes, absolutely, because I want people to read My
Pretty Baby. It is a call to action for us
to have these kinds of conversations about how you can
be a cycle breaker and how you can heal yourself,
because our society needs healing, and I believe that this
is how we're going to heal by having these conversations
without shame, without blame, and we need to be able
to talk about this honestly and openly. Intergenerational and childhood trauma.
And as I said, you know, sixty one percent of
adults have at least one adverse childhood experience and it
affects everyone. I mean, even if you had the fabulous
childhood and have none of that, still with sixty one percent.
It's going to be your spouse, your friend, your coworker,
your boss, your neighbors. And childhood trauma cost society billions
every year in healthcare, lost productivity, addiction, mental illness, and incarceration.
And for me, my Pretty Baby is not just my story,
it is everyone's. So people can buy My Pretty Baby
wherever you buy books, of course, on Bookshop on Amazon,
and they can find me at www. Wendy b as
in boy corea COO R R EA. You can also
find me on Instagram at Wendy B Korea or on
Facebook at Wendy Korea. And I'm doing lots of podcasts
because I want to have this conversation. I love podcasts,
and I'm also going to be doing panels at conferences.
So if people you know, I hope you'll pick up
a copy of the book and you'll reach out to
me and let me know what you think.
Speaker 1: Well, I'll tell you where your book inspired me, and
I will carry this forever with me. And that is
is that there was a gentleman that came up to
me and he was going it's not that I can't hear,
it's just I can't do anything but think about what
I'm going to say next when I'm in a conversation
and I pulled from your book in the way that
I thought, do not think about what you're going to
say next. Just embrace the moment and let nature do
its course. And if there is silence, embrace it and
love it. You do not have to have something to
say after I've finished a sentence.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, that's yes.
Speaker 1: Just breathe, Just breathe exactly you're saying, Okay, well walk away. Okay.
So it didn't have this big climatic ending. It doesn't matter.
We'll see each other tomorrow and when I see you,
I will still hug you. And that and that, to
me is what we're missing right now is go give
him a hug, don't just give him a fist bump. Absolutely,
we got to talk more times in the future, Windy.
This cannot be the only time that you and I talk.
Speaker 2: Well, I would love to talk with you more. Please
do reach out and let's spend more time just hanging out.
Speaker 1: Will you be brilliant today?
Speaker 2: Okay, thank you so much, Erro. I appreciate this conversation,
and to the listeners, please take it one day at
a time.
Speaker 1: I love it. I love where your heart is. Thank
you so much.