Speaker 1: This is section thirteen of The Gilded Age. The LibriVox
Speaker 1: recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age, A
Speaker 1: Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and C. D. Warner,
Speaker 1: Chapter thirteen. Whatever to say be tooke in his intante.
Speaker 1: His language was so fair and pertinanite, yet seemeth unto
Speaker 1: many hearing not only the ward, but verily the thinning
Speaker 1: Caxton's Book of Courtesy. In the party of which our
Speaker 1: travelers found themselves members was Duff Brown, the great railroad
Speaker 1: contractor and subsequently a well known member of Congress. A bluff,
Speaker 1: jovial Boston Man, thick set, close shaven, with a heavy
Speaker 1: jaw and a low forehead, A very pleasant man if
Speaker 1: he were not in his way. He had government contracts,
Speaker 1: also custom houses and dry docks from Portland to New Orleans,
Speaker 1: and managed to get out of Congress in appropriations about
Speaker 1: wait for weight of for the stone furnished. Associated with him,
Speaker 1: and also of this party, was Rodney Shake, a sleek
Speaker 1: New York broker, a man as prominent in the church
Speaker 1: as in the stock exchange, dainty in his dress, smooth
Speaker 1: of speech, the necessary compliment of Duff Brown in any
Speaker 1: enterprise that needed assurance and adroitness. It would be difficult
Speaker 1: to find a pleasanter traveling party, one that shook off
Speaker 1: more readily the artificial restraints of Puritanic strictness and took
Speaker 1: the world with good natured allowance. Money was plenty for
Speaker 1: every attainable luxury, and there seemed to be no doubt
Speaker 1: that its supply would continue, and that fortunes were about
Speaker 1: to be made without a great deal of toil. Even
Speaker 1: Philip soon caught the prevailing spirit. Barry did not need
Speaker 1: any inoculation. He always talked in six figures. It was
Speaker 1: as natural for the dear boy to be rich as
Speaker 1: it is for most people to be poor. The l
Speaker 1: of the party were not long in discovering the fact
Speaker 1: which almost all travelers to the west soon find out,
Speaker 1: that the water was poor. It must have been by
Speaker 1: a lucky premonition of this that they all had brandy
Speaker 1: flasks with which to qualify the water of the country.
Speaker 1: And it was no doubt, from an uneasy feeling of
Speaker 1: the danger of being poisoned, that they kept experimenting, mixing
Speaker 1: a little of the dangerous and changing fluid as they
Speaker 1: passed along with the contents of the flasks, thus saving
Speaker 1: their lives hour by hour. Philip learned afterwards that temperance
Speaker 1: and the strict observance of Sunday, and a certain gravity
Speaker 1: of deportment are geographical habits which people do not usually
Speaker 1: carry with them away from home. Our travelers stopped in
Speaker 1: Chicago long enough to see that they could make their
Speaker 1: fortunes there in two weeks time, but it did not
Speaker 1: seem worthwhile the West was more attractive. The further one went,
Speaker 1: the wider the opportunities open. They took railroad to Alton
Speaker 1: and the steamboat from there to Saint Louis for the
Speaker 1: change and to have a glimpse of the river. Isn't
Speaker 1: this jolly? Cried Henry, dancing out of the barber's room
Speaker 1: and coming down the deck with a one two three step, shaven,
Speaker 1: curled and perfumed after his usual exquisite fashion. What's jolly?
Speaker 1: Asked Philip, looking out upon the dreary and monotonous waste
Speaker 1: through which the shaking steamboat was coughing its way. Why
Speaker 1: the whole thing? It's immense, I can tell you I
Speaker 1: wouldn't give that to be guaranteed a hundred thousand cold
Speaker 1: cash in a year's time. Where's mister Brown. He's in
Speaker 1: the saloon playing poker with Shike and that long haired
Speaker 1: party with the striped trousers who scrambled aboard when the
Speaker 1: stage plank was half hauled in. And the big delegate
Speaker 1: to Congress from out West. That's a fine looking fellow.
Speaker 1: That delegate with his glossy black whiskers looks like a
Speaker 1: Washington man. I shouldn't think he'd be at poker. Oh
Speaker 1: it's only five cent, Auntie. Just to make it interesting,
Speaker 1: the delegate said. But I shouldn't think a representative in
Speaker 1: Congress would play poker anyway in a public steamboat. Nonsense.
Speaker 1: You've got to pass the time. I try to hand myself,
Speaker 1: but those old fellows are too many for me. The
Speaker 1: delegate knows all the points. I'd bet a hundred dollars
Speaker 1: he will ant he his way right into the United
Speaker 1: States Senate when his territory comes in. He's got the
Speaker 1: cheek for it. He has the grave and thoughtful manner
Speaker 1: of expectoration of a public man. For one thing, added Philip,
Speaker 1: Harry said, Philip, after a pause, what have you got
Speaker 1: on those big boots for? Do you expect to wade ashore?
Speaker 1: I'm breaking him in the fact was Harry had got
Speaker 1: himself up in what he thought a proper costume for
Speaker 1: the new country, and was in appearance a sort of
Speaker 1: compromise between a dandie of Broadway and a backwoodsman. Harry,
Speaker 1: with blue eyes, bush complexion, silken whiskers, and curly chestnut hair,
Speaker 1: was as handsome as a fashion plate. He wore this morning,
Speaker 1: a soft hat, a short cutaway coat, an open vest
Speaker 1: displaying immaculate linen, a leathern belt round his waist, and
Speaker 1: top boots of soft leather, well polished, that came above
Speaker 1: his knees and required a string attached to his belt
Speaker 1: to keep them up. The light hearted fellow gloried in
Speaker 1: these shining encasements of his well shaped legs, and told
Speaker 1: Philip that they were a perfect protection against prairie rattlesnakes,
Speaker 1: which never strike above the knee. The landscape still wore
Speaker 1: an almost wintry appearance when our travelers left Chicago. It
Speaker 1: was a genial spring day when they landed at Saint Louis.
Speaker 1: The birds were singing. The blossoms of peach trees in
Speaker 1: city garden plots made the air sweet, and in the
Speaker 1: roar and tumult. On the Long River Levee, they found
Speaker 1: an excitement that accorded with their own hopeful anticipations. The
Speaker 1: party went to the Southern Hotel, where the Great Duff
Speaker 1: Brown was very well known, and indeed was a man
Speaker 1: of so much importance that even the office clerk was
Speaker 1: respectful to him. He might have respected in him also
Speaker 1: a certain vulgar swagger and insolence of money, which the
Speaker 1: clerk greatly admired. The young fellows liked the house and
Speaker 1: liked the city. It seemed to them a mighty free
Speaker 1: and hospitable town. Coming from the east, they were struck
Speaker 1: with many peculiarities. Everybody smoked in the streets, for one thing.
Speaker 1: They noticed everybody took a drink in an open manner
Speaker 1: whenever he wished to do so, or was asked, as
Speaker 1: if the habit needed no concealment or apology. In the evening,
Speaker 1: when they walked about, they found people sitting on the
Speaker 1: doorsteps of their dwellings in a manner not usual in
Speaker 1: a northern city. In front of some of the hotels
Speaker 1: and saloons, the sidewalks were filled with chairs and benches.
Speaker 1: Paris fashion said Harry upon which people lounged in these
Speaker 1: warm spring evenings smoking. All was smoking, and the clink
Speaker 1: of glasses and of billiard balls was in the air.
Speaker 1: It was delightful. Harry at once found on landing that
Speaker 1: his backwoods custom would not be needed in Saint Louis,
Speaker 1: and that in fact he had need of all the
Speaker 1: resources of his wardrobe to keep even with the young
Speaker 1: swells of the town. But this did not much matter,
Speaker 1: for Harry was always superior to his clothes, as they
Speaker 1: were likely to be detained some time in the city.
Speaker 1: Harry told Philip that he was going to improve his time,
Speaker 1: and he did. It was an encouragement any industrious man
Speaker 1: to see this young fellow rise carefully, dress himself, eat
Speaker 1: his breakfast, deliberately, smoke his cigar tranquility, and then repair
Speaker 1: to his room to what he called his work. With
Speaker 1: a grave and occupied manner, but with perfect cheerfulness. Harry
Speaker 1: would take off his coat, remove his cravat, roll up
Speaker 1: his shirt sleeves, give his curly hair the right touch
Speaker 1: before the glass, get out his book on engineering, his
Speaker 1: boxes of instruments, his drawing paper, his profile paper, open
Speaker 1: the book of logarithms, mix his india ink, sharpen his pencils,
Speaker 1: light a cigar, and sit down at the table to
Speaker 1: lay out a line, with the most grave notion that
Speaker 1: he was mastering the details of engineering. He would spend
Speaker 1: half a day in these preparations without ever working out
Speaker 1: a problem or having the faintest conception of the use
Speaker 1: of lines or logarithms, and when he had finished, he
Speaker 1: had the most cheerful confidence that he had done a
Speaker 1: good day's work. It made no difference, however, whether Harry
Speaker 1: was in his room in a hotel or in a tent.
Speaker 1: Philip soon found he was just the same. In camp.
Speaker 1: He would get himself up in the most elaborate toilet
Speaker 1: at his command, polish his long boots to the top,
Speaker 1: lay out his work before him, and spend an hour
Speaker 1: or longer. If anybody was looking at him, humming airs,
Speaker 1: knitting his brows and working at engineering, and if a
Speaker 1: crowd of gaping rustics were looking on all the while,
Speaker 1: it was perfectly satisfactory to him. You see, he says
Speaker 1: to Philip one morning at the hotel, when he was
Speaker 1: thus engaged, I want to get the theory of this
Speaker 1: thing so that I can have a check on the engineers.
Speaker 1: I thought you were going to be an engineer yourself,
Speaker 1: queried Philip. Not many times. If the court knows herself,
Speaker 1: there's better game. Brown and Shike have or will have
Speaker 1: the control for the whole line of the Salt Lick
Speaker 1: Pacific Extension forty thousand dollars a mile over the prairie,
Speaker 1: with extra for hard pen, and it'll be pretty much
Speaker 1: all hard pan. I can tell you, besides every alternate
Speaker 1: section of land on this line, there's millions in the job.
Speaker 1: I'm to have the subcontract for the first fifty miles,
Speaker 1: and you can bet it's a soft thing. I'll tell
Speaker 1: you what to do, Philip continued Larry in a burst
Speaker 1: of generosity. If I don't get you into my contract,
Speaker 1: you'll be with the engineers, and you just stick a
Speaker 1: stake at the first ground marked for a depot, buy
Speaker 1: the land of the farmer before he knows where the
Speaker 1: depot will be, and we'll turn a hundred or so
Speaker 1: on that. I'll advance the money for the payments and
Speaker 1: you can sell the lots. Shake is going to let
Speaker 1: me have ten thousand just for a flyer in such operations.
Speaker 1: But that's a good deal. Of money. Wait till you
Speaker 1: are used to handling money. I didn't come out here
Speaker 1: for a bagatell My uncle wanted me to stay east
Speaker 1: and go in on the mobile custom house work up
Speaker 1: the Washington end of it. He said, there was a
Speaker 1: fortune in it for a smart young fellow. But I
Speaker 1: prefer to take the chances out here. Did I tell
Speaker 1: you I had an offer from Bobbitt and Fanshaw to
Speaker 1: go into their office as confidential clerk on a salary
Speaker 1: of ten thousand. Why didn't you take it? Asked Philip,
Speaker 1: to whom a salary of two thousand would have seemed
Speaker 1: wealth before he's started on this journey. Take it. I'd
Speaker 1: rather operate on my own hook, said Harry in his
Speaker 1: most airy manner. A few evenings after their arrival at
Speaker 1: the Southern, Philip and Harry made the acquaintance of a
Speaker 1: very agreeable gentleman whom they had frequently seen before, about
Speaker 1: the hotel corridors, and passed a casual word with He
Speaker 1: had the air of a man of business, and was
Speaker 1: evidently a person of importance. The precipitating of this casual
Speaker 1: intercourse into the more substantial form of an acquaintanceship was
Speaker 1: the work of the gentleman himself, and occurred in this wise.
Speaker 1: Meeting the two friends in the lobby one evening, he
Speaker 1: asked them to give him the time and added, excuse me, gentlemen,
Speaker 1: strangers in Saint Louis. Ah. Yes, yes, from the east perhaps, ah,
Speaker 1: just so, just so Eastern born myself, Virginia Sellers. Is
Speaker 1: my name, Beriah Sellars. Ah. By the way, New York?
Speaker 1: Did you say that? For my just met some gentlemen
Speaker 1: from your state a week or two ago. Very prominent
Speaker 1: gentlemen in public life. They are. You must know them
Speaker 1: without doubt. Let me see, let me see. Curious those
Speaker 1: names have escaped me. I know they were from your
Speaker 1: state because I remember afterward my old friend, Governor Shackleby
Speaker 1: said to me, fine man, is the governor one of
Speaker 1: the finest men our country has produced, said he, Colonel,
Speaker 1: how did you like those New York gentlemen? Not many
Speaker 1: such men in the world, Colonel Sellers, said the governor. Yes,
Speaker 1: it was New York, he said, I remember it distinctly.
Speaker 1: I can't recall those names somehow, but no matter. Stopping here,
Speaker 1: gentlemen stopping at the southern in shaping their reply in
Speaker 1: their minds. The title mister had a place in it,
Speaker 1: But when their turn had arrived to speak, the title
Speaker 1: colonel came from their lips instead. They said, yes, they
Speaker 1: were abiding at the Southern and thought it a very
Speaker 1: good house. Yes, yes, the Southern is fair. I myself
Speaker 1: go to the Planters, old aristocratic house. We Southern gentlemen
Speaker 1: don't change our ways. You know. I always make it
Speaker 1: my home there when I run adown from Hawkeye. My
Speaker 1: plantation is in Hawkeye, a little up in the country.
Speaker 1: You should know the planters. Philip and Harry both said
Speaker 1: they should like to see a hotel that had been
Speaker 1: so famous in its day, a cheerful Hostelry Philip said
Speaker 1: it must have been where duels were fought there across
Speaker 1: the dining room table. You may believe it, sir, an
Speaker 1: uncommonly pleasant lodging. Shall we walk? And the three strolled
Speaker 1: along the streets, the colonel talking all the way in
Speaker 1: the most liberal and friendly manner, and with a frank,
Speaker 1: open heartedness that inspired confidence. Yes, born East myself raised
Speaker 1: all along know the West a great country, gentleman, the
Speaker 1: place for a young fellow spirit to pick up a fortune,
Speaker 1: simply pick it up it's lying round loose here. Not
Speaker 1: a day that I don't put aside an opportunity. Too
Speaker 1: busy to look into it. Management of my own property
Speaker 1: takes my time first visit looking for an opening. Yes,
Speaker 1: looking around, replied Harry, Ah, here we are. You'd rather
Speaker 1: sit here in front than go to my apartments. So
Speaker 1: had I an opening? Eh? The colonel's eyes twinkled. Ah,
Speaker 1: Just so, the country is opening up. All we want
Speaker 1: is capital to develop it, slap down the rails and
Speaker 1: bring the land into market. The richest land on God
Speaker 1: Almighty's footstool is lying right out there. If I had
Speaker 1: my capital free, I could plant it for millions. I
Speaker 1: suppose your capital is largely in your plantation, asked Philip. Well, partly, sir, partly.
Speaker 1: I'm down here now with reference to a little operation,
Speaker 1: a little side thing, merely by the way, gentlemen, excuse
Speaker 1: the liberty, but it's about my usual time. The colonel paused,
Speaker 1: But as no movement of his acquaintances followed this plain remark,
Speaker 1: he added, in an explanatory manner, I'm rather particular about
Speaker 1: the exact time have to be in this climate. Even
Speaker 1: this open declaration of his hospitable intention. Not being understood,
Speaker 1: the colonel politely said, gentlemen, will you take something? Colonel
Speaker 1: Sellers led the way to a saloon on Fourth Street
Speaker 1: under the hotel, and the young gentleman fell into the
Speaker 1: custom of the country. Not that, said the colonel to
Speaker 1: the bar keeper, who shoved along the counter a bottle
Speaker 1: of apparently corn whiskey, as if he had done it before.
Speaker 1: On the same order. Not that, With a wave of
Speaker 1: the hand that uttered, if you please, yes, never take
Speaker 1: an inferior liquor, gentlemen, not in the evening, in this climate.
Speaker 1: There that's the stuff my respects. The hospitable man, having
Speaker 1: disposed of his liquor, remarking that it was not quite
Speaker 1: the thing. When a man has his own cellar to
Speaker 1: go to, he is apt to get a little fastidious
Speaker 1: about his liquors, called for cigars, but the brand offered
Speaker 1: did not suit him. He motioned the box away and
Speaker 1: asked for some particular hawass those in separate wrappers. I
Speaker 1: always smoke this sort, gentleman. They are a little more expensive,
Speaker 1: but you'll learn in this climate that you'd better not
Speaker 1: economize on poor cigars. Having imparted this valuable piece of information,
Speaker 1: the colonel lighted the fragrant cigar with satisfaction, and then
Speaker 1: carelessly put his fingers into his right vest pocket, that
Speaker 1: movement being without result. With a shade of disappointment on
Speaker 1: his face, he felt in his left vest pocket. Not
Speaker 1: finding anything there, he looked up with a serious and
Speaker 1: annoyed air, anxiously slapped his right pantaloon's pocket and then
Speaker 1: his left, and exclaimed, by George, that's annoying. By George,
Speaker 1: that's mortifying. Never had anything of that kind happen to
Speaker 1: me before, I've left my pocket book. Hold, here's a
Speaker 1: bill after all, No thunder, it's a receipt, allow me,
Speaker 1: said Philip, seeing how seriously the Colonel was annoyed, and
Speaker 1: taking out his purse. The colonel protested he could think
Speaker 1: of it, and muttered something to the bar keeper about
Speaker 1: hanging it up, But the vendor of exhilaration made no sign,
Speaker 1: and Philip had the privilege of paying the costly shot.
Speaker 1: Colonel Sellers profusely, apologizing and claiming the right next time,
Speaker 1: next time. As soon as Pariah Sellars had bade his
Speaker 1: friends good night and seen them depart, he did not
Speaker 1: retire apartments in the planters but took his way to
Speaker 1: his lodgings with a friend in a distant part of
Speaker 1: the city. End of Chapter thirteen.