Speaker 1: Headphones. You don't need your headphones. Hello, welcome to Laura
Speaker 1: Kane after dark. I'm Laura Kane, Eric Rima.
Speaker 2: Right heads, Hey, what's up, b we are. It's an
Speaker 2: interesting night.
Speaker 1: Has been a very interesting night, and I regret I
Speaker 1: might regret this. I'm going to regret this, le I
Speaker 1: just put it that way. I need your advice on
Speaker 1: my next step because the ball is in my court
Speaker 1: as far as the next text message that goes out
Speaker 1: to the dude that I met on the night when
Speaker 1: you guys are wingman and we went to.
Speaker 2: Park and wreck, I have the perfect text.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, let's just like brief everybody. The text have
Speaker 1: been very generic. I've been very like polite. He's been polite. No,
Speaker 1: there's been no like sexual undertones at all.
Speaker 2: So that's great.
Speaker 3: Let me actually read tell they texts have been awful
Speaker 3: because you have been texting like someone who is not
Speaker 3: only not your age, but in fact twenty years older
Speaker 3: than you actually are. Like I'm on the way back
Speaker 3: from the casino. No, you're texting like your mother. I know,
Speaker 3: on the way back from the casino.
Speaker 2: Just made it cool. Two hundred dollars.
Speaker 4: The only thing you didn't say. Was you were going
Speaker 4: to have a cigarette and play canasta?
Speaker 1: He asked me, And I told him so, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: will you bring him back up into hobby? Eears Room said,
Speaker 1: you sound like a real great chap. I just okay.
Speaker 1: It is my nature to ask a lot of questions
Speaker 1: and I and I realize I don't know sometimes when
Speaker 1: to stop true, and that I do get awkward, and
Speaker 1: I feel it when it gets awkward. I know, believe me,
Speaker 1: I al so do I and I just pushed through it.
Speaker 2: Let me just give you this advice. I pushed through it.
Speaker 3: And these types of conversations there needs to be It
Speaker 3: doesn't even need to be sexual tension, but there needs
Speaker 3: to be a little bit of type attension, a little
Speaker 3: bit back and forth where there's something Each text is
Speaker 3: going to be something real.
Speaker 1: I believe that, Yeah, woleheartedly.
Speaker 2: Yours is just like, so help me. I'm going to
Speaker 2: help okay, So.
Speaker 1: Let's let's do it.
Speaker 4: Let's okay, let's do it.
Speaker 1: What do we What are we saying? What's the first
Speaker 1: kind of volley into the territory we're heading into?
Speaker 2: So I saved me.
Speaker 4: I think I think, I just totally yes, just the
Speaker 4: thought of doing this is making me one of Okay,
Speaker 4: here's what you should.
Speaker 1: Say again again. He's twenty nine, but and.
Speaker 2: He's not what you'd expect him to be. But anyway,
Speaker 2: he's handsome though. Yeah, very I think.
Speaker 3: So here's what you should say, Hey, I want to
Speaker 3: see you again, because we're.
Speaker 2: Going to put that forward because it's not that bold.
Speaker 2: It is forward, but it's not bold.
Speaker 1: It shouldn't be like a little like mysteriously flirty.
Speaker 2: Er. No, I want to say you against pretty flirty.
Speaker 4: I think I think what Brian said is correct.
Speaker 2: Because also it puts the impetus on him. He's it's
Speaker 2: going to make him.
Speaker 3: He gets to set the terms for too, and you
Speaker 3: don't to agree to him, but at least it's gonna
Speaker 3: put it on him to kind of arrange things.
Speaker 1: I feel like I should add a little tiny spice
Speaker 1: to you. Okay, take my phone? Where's my phone? That's right?
Speaker 1: I mean it's about to die.
Speaker 2: I should we ask it?
Speaker 1: Oh, you know, I should. I don't want to hurt
Speaker 1: has bad texts. That's why it's not a good texture.
Speaker 2: That's why it's funny.
Speaker 1: Oh Marie, don't, Oh my god. Okay, Okay, Marie, this
Speaker 1: is what's happening. We're about to text that. We're going
Speaker 1: into the territory of flirtation now and Brian's advice is
Speaker 1: this that I'm texting him the following.
Speaker 2: You said, I want to hear it in your voice.
Speaker 1: I I want to see you again.
Speaker 2: Hey, Comma, I want to see you again.
Speaker 1: Did you put hay in there? I do agree with this.
Speaker 1: That's it for now, Hey, I want to see you again?
Speaker 1: Or is that too forward?
Speaker 2: Two forward? We're talking about.
Speaker 1: It's okay, it's not it's it's it's a little it's
Speaker 1: not even like it's just it shows I'm still interested
Speaker 1: in that there's a chance, or you.
Speaker 2: Could just you could also say I would love to
Speaker 2: see you again.
Speaker 1: Love. I don't know. I kind of want to take
Speaker 1: the word love out of there.
Speaker 2: I don't think love is the problem.
Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying. I'd really like that's good, I
Speaker 4: really see you again.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, that's yeah.
Speaker 3: That sounds very Also, you having a little bit of
Speaker 3: boldness coming from you is also good.
Speaker 1: He called me bold, Yeah, and I think that's.
Speaker 3: Good like nine percent of all cases. But it's also
Speaker 3: telling him to get a move on and make it happen.
Speaker 1: I know. Yeah, okay, all right, so there's that, and
Speaker 1: we'll see if he responds. I won't double sex.
Speaker 2: There's a good chance. Now, just be rare.
Speaker 3: We might have to have something a backupreak, because there's
Speaker 3: a good chance. I'll say, then come over right now.
Speaker 1: That true, that'll well, we'll see.
Speaker 2: It's like we're gonna and the show a little earlier
Speaker 2: than I possibly. I'm going to take a field trip.
Speaker 2: Eric's gonna take me for a drive.
Speaker 4: I just said it.
Speaker 2: Okay, now here's what I said. Okay, oh no, wait,
Speaker 2: I hope he said.
Speaker 1: You better have said what we said to say.
Speaker 4: Well, I added a little bit more of a punch.
Speaker 4: I said, good evening, I'm flicking my bean and I'd
Speaker 4: really like to see you again. I said, good evening,
Speaker 4: I'm flicking my bean and I'd really like to see
Speaker 4: you again.
Speaker 2: I hope you didn't.
Speaker 1: You know what that means. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, think
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 3: No, I okay, take a phone and read it, just
Speaker 3: so I want reliable eyes on this.
Speaker 1: It's not reliable all Why did this go away?
Speaker 4: What did you what did you just do when you
Speaker 4: grabbed it? So damn fast.
Speaker 1: What did you phone?
Speaker 4: I didn't do anything.
Speaker 2: You bored everything?
Speaker 1: Turn this off? Wait?
Speaker 2: How did you?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Sometimes my phone gets stuck. Does that
Speaker 1: ever happen to you?
Speaker 2: Do?
Speaker 1: I need a new phone?
Speaker 2: She's so grabbing. What phone do you have?
Speaker 1: I have an iPhone fourteen something.
Speaker 2: It should be fine. That's weird.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 4: She's like an octopus. She's just grabbing everything and then
Speaker 4: she puts it into it.
Speaker 1: I'm getting a little bit nervous.
Speaker 4: Oh wait a minute.
Speaker 1: He's a pretty fast reactor as far as texting.
Speaker 4: Who Darryl?
Speaker 1: We're calling him Derek, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Because Derek screams this guy. Her first name was Jonathan,
Speaker 3: she first did Jonathan can.
Speaker 1: Easily be Derek.
Speaker 2: No Ulysses, How about is closer than Derek? Yeah? Yeah, yes,
Speaker 2: that is.
Speaker 1: That is untrue.
Speaker 4: I felt I can guarantee under those clothes he was wearing,
Speaker 4: he looks like a Ulysses.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: And he did tell me he went to the gym,
Speaker 1: And I'm not mad at that. All right, so here
Speaker 1: we go. Ready, Okay, I'm going to read you what
Speaker 1: Eric wrote Good Evening. I kind of hate the Good
Speaker 1: Evening thing.
Speaker 4: Did you actually put evening.
Speaker 2: Oh no, now.
Speaker 1: I now I'm eighty five.
Speaker 2: Oh goddamn.
Speaker 4: I had to keep I had to keep the momentum going.
Speaker 2: That's not momentum. Why did you let Eric?
Speaker 4: I told you to type of.
Speaker 1: M good evening, my vampire.
Speaker 2: That kind of kills good evening.
Speaker 4: I'm doing some knitting. Good evening, Eric, You just me
Speaker 4: because I had to keep it going. She doesn't go
Speaker 4: from eighty five sabotaging sixty is.
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 4: So said, nothing can be worse than these texts that
Speaker 4: you said, good point.
Speaker 1: Good evening, exclamation point.
Speaker 4: Wait what no? Oh god, yeah, that's very that.
Speaker 2: We're trying to fix that. It's that's the problem been
Speaker 2: to her. We need to change that.
Speaker 1: And by the way, I would have not said good evening.
Speaker 1: I would have said, what's up? Hey?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Hey, is better? Dude?
Speaker 1: This guy's gonna be like wow, she must he's like
Speaker 1: aging me as the's like.
Speaker 2: She's like, I just took my Arthur Rice message. I'm
Speaker 2: really I'm ready to come see you. Okay, read the rest?
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, let's read, and I think the rest
Speaker 1: was what you said. I'd really like to see you again, period.
Speaker 4: Nothing can be worse than this, I don't so so true.
Speaker 4: And you know what, people go through that stage again
Speaker 4: sometimes in midlife you think that this is it's.
Speaker 3: Not worse, but we wanted to. We wanted to be
Speaker 3: a drastic improvement. Now it's only all that is a
Speaker 3: drastic good evening.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm so mad right now.
Speaker 4: I should you kill listen. I should put my next
Speaker 4: text should be like I'm just laying here in my
Speaker 4: lazy boy putting bend on my sword.
Speaker 3: Actually, I would love to see what Eric's romantic text
Speaker 3: look like, because I bet they are formal like that.
Speaker 1: I bet he is a dirty bird.
Speaker 2: I don't think it is a lot dirty text.
Speaker 1: To some people. Perhaps you know it, though maybe not,
Speaker 1: because I think he would be afraid that they'd be documented.
Speaker 2: So he also texts like k and that's the only test.
Speaker 1: One finger how much how it would take him forever.
Speaker 4: It would take me forever to be sexy. And someone
Speaker 4: be like, tell me you want me?
Speaker 2: He's like yes, So he just says his pick.
Speaker 1: He says his dick pick. No, yes, no, you have
Speaker 1: to You've at least a handful of times he says.
Speaker 2: He just puts it with good question mark.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, it's usually in black and white.
Speaker 4: I want you okay.
Speaker 1: No, the one I saw was in black and white.
Speaker 1: It was great.
Speaker 2: I want you same, okay.
Speaker 1: So intel a text. We're going to play a little
Speaker 1: game of yep or nope.
Speaker 2: I've been saying a lot of nope tonight.
Speaker 1: I know. Here we go, and I'm just gonna read
Speaker 1: sentences and you guys say yep or nope. This is
Speaker 1: however this strikes you. I spread peanut butter with a spoon.
Speaker 4: Nope.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: On that note, if you were allowed to only have
Speaker 1: one utensil to use for the rest of your life,
Speaker 1: which moboid you choose the knife? Well, no, we're gonna
Speaker 1: take the knife.
Speaker 2: Out for fork or spoon?
Speaker 1: Fork fork, Marie, spoon for sure.
Speaker 2: How you eat salad?
Speaker 1: You yeah, you're not. You're talking. You're talking to me.
Speaker 1: I don't eat things that pick up with food.
Speaker 2: Well, you don't eat anything. But you need to use
Speaker 2: the tensils.
Speaker 3: For because the gum bears, both of gum bears do
Speaker 3: not need pencils.
Speaker 1: I eat almost everything with a spoon. I love spoon.
Speaker 2: Why what do you eat then? What are you eating?
Speaker 1: Let's see? Yes, I eat rise with a spoon. What
Speaker 1: did I I had a meatloaf the other night and
Speaker 1: I ate that with a spoon. No, it was delicious.
Speaker 1: Eat oatmeal, meatloads me meat, meat loaf, meat. Okay, dude,
Speaker 1: meat lot.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: Does someone need a nap?
Speaker 1: Yes, just gra I did take a nap and then
Speaker 1: I woke up and it was like six fifteen. I'm like,
Speaker 1: holy cow, so I'm just waking up all right. I
Speaker 1: prefer self checkout.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I love self checkout.
Speaker 1: I always dutch oven myself to smell my own fart
Speaker 1: every time, myself.
Speaker 4: You kidding me? Is that a question? That is just disgusting?
Speaker 2: No, that is Laura does though, because she's too lazy
Speaker 2: to roll over.
Speaker 1: Is a liar. I know for a fact. You want
Speaker 1: to know what the farts, know the part of a
Speaker 1: particular one comes out. You gotta you know, you have
Speaker 1: to say, I gotta smell this one.
Speaker 4: Discussed.
Speaker 3: I feel like he lets one rip and then he
Speaker 3: sprints to the other room to hide from him.
Speaker 4: For sure, he's like, oh, oh, I got in the kitchen.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think he like stays out for an hour
Speaker 2: or something.
Speaker 1: This is a man who has smelled his own farts.
Speaker 1: I put my bet, my life on it.
Speaker 2: I'm sure he has in his life, but I don't
Speaker 2: think he's a well.
Speaker 4: Yeah, if I was like sitting here and I farted,
Speaker 4: but I'd make her marinate in it.
Speaker 2: He's not. He doesn't.
Speaker 4: No way, I'd be out of that bed so fast.
Speaker 1: I say bless you to myself when sneeze.
Speaker 2: After I sneeze, I do sometimes like I do it ironically.
Speaker 1: I do bi acts because I'm just It's a reaction,
Speaker 1: automatic reaction.
Speaker 2: I say, yeah, I say bless me.
Speaker 1: I never say goodbye when I'm leaving a party. Do
Speaker 1: you just do like the Batman move and just like disappeared.
Speaker 1: I was at a party the other day and I
Speaker 1: and I pulled a.
Speaker 2: Batman Irish goodbye.
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, anyway, I forgot where it was at, but yeah,
Speaker 1: and it was. It was just it was not inappropriate,
Speaker 1: like it wasn't like rude because the hosts were very
Speaker 1: much entertaining people.
Speaker 2: And it depends on the party.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it does, all right. I always applaud when my
Speaker 1: plane lands safely, to think the pilot.
Speaker 3: No, no, if you do that, you should be thrown
Speaker 3: out of the planet, or you should be put on
Speaker 3: a plane that's guaranteed to crash.
Speaker 1: I always smell a book before I read it.
Speaker 3: What what that's that? It feels like a fetish almost Have.
Speaker 1: You ever smelled a brand new book? Smell brand new,
Speaker 1: fresh book? Delicious?
Speaker 4: Oh what?
Speaker 1: Oh it's so great. You're like, I'm about to delve
Speaker 1: into this delicacy.
Speaker 3: That's the smell of the glue on the binding. Okay,
Speaker 3: that's like huffing.
Speaker 1: Okay, drug addict? What can I say?
Speaker 2: Oh? God, Lord's like I get high off of books.
Speaker 4: It's why I like it.
Speaker 2: Probably God, you have my favorite drug store, Barnes and Nobles.
Speaker 2: I go there and I rip it. Oh my god,
Speaker 2: that's awful.
Speaker 1: Yep or no. I can't seem to keep from yelling
Speaker 1: at characters in horror movies for doing something dumb that
Speaker 1: leads to their demid.
Speaker 3: I don't have this problem, scream, I bet you guys.
Speaker 3: That seems like an old person thing. No, yeah, yes.
Speaker 1: I disagree.
Speaker 2: What No?
Speaker 1: I was gonna say. My roommate over here, Marie, do
Speaker 1: you yell at the TV? Screams and grabs at you.
Speaker 1: She cannot handle a scary movie.
Speaker 3: I'm not saying. I'm not saying I can't handle scary movie.
Speaker 3: But do you yell at the characters, being like, no,
Speaker 3: what are you doing?
Speaker 4: Don't do that. I totally want to watch a horror
Speaker 4: movie with Marie.
Speaker 1: Oh, she will be on your lap in five seconds.
Speaker 4: We will watch. We'll watch high tension, the three of us.
Speaker 1: She she won't have it.
Speaker 4: Let's just go to Oh god, she gets nightmares.
Speaker 1: Yeah, some people get nightmares from movies. We don't because
Speaker 1: we're sick.
Speaker 2: Oh, Laurie, you're going to hide in the bathroom when
Speaker 2: the scary movie's on.
Speaker 4: And you were evil dead too when a boring one
Speaker 4: is on.
Speaker 2: I was not was not boring by any good.
Speaker 1: There's not enough thriller.
Speaker 3: I call you hiding in your jacket too. Huh yeah,
Speaker 3: you pulled your jacket over your head and to fall asleep.
Speaker 3: No to I think to hide from the movie because
Speaker 3: I was scared.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, probably I get scared, but I like
Speaker 1: being scared. I can't seem to keep from yelling at car.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, wait, I like my own social media posts.
Speaker 1: Do you ever like your own social media posts? No,
Speaker 1: I've actually I've accidentally liked it, and I'm like, oh wait,
Speaker 1: even oops and then I unlike it because I'm like, wait, I.
Speaker 3: Think I do, but not because I'm not gonna get
Speaker 3: those likes. I just like do it, and it's just like, oh,
Speaker 3: it's something you do. It's like a button you need
Speaker 3: to push.
Speaker 1: I don't think you are supposed to do that.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's not supposed.
Speaker 1: To Okay, there's no rules.
Speaker 2: I only post like once every other year, So how.
Speaker 1: About this one. I will text haha to acknowledge a
Speaker 1: joke that I didn't think was funny on a text. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just out of niceties I.
Speaker 2: U saw as a real thing.
Speaker 1: I frequently make a fake call to escape a situation.
Speaker 2: Yes, when the last time you did that?
Speaker 4: Eric Will I will do it all the time. If
Speaker 4: I'm walking into the grocery store and there's solicitors, oh
Speaker 4: really out front, I will always ignore them. I will
Speaker 4: always get on my phone.
Speaker 1: Do you want to tell? Do you want me to
Speaker 1: tell you? The ultimate? This is my ex husband's secret
Speaker 1: and it worked like a charm.
Speaker 2: He never had taken a real phone call in his life.
Speaker 1: No, this is it's perfect. And this is like one
Speaker 1: really good thing that came out of our relationship was
Speaker 1: this idea. So when you see those people in front
Speaker 1: of target and you're in a rash, you don't want
Speaker 1: to be rude, you know, as you know, thank you,
Speaker 1: but they know you're in a rush and they're they're
Speaker 1: doing their job. They're trying, right, they're trying to get
Speaker 1: signatures or whatever. All you have to do, I swear
Speaker 1: it works every time and they will drop it all.
Speaker 1: I have to just say sorry, I'm Canadian and you
Speaker 1: walk in boom, done over, no explanations, just like no,
Speaker 1: I'm Canadian, and they go okay and they leave you alone.
Speaker 2: I just ignore that.
Speaker 3: Why I just say no, like do you want to
Speaker 3: like no, I just keep walking, I think.
Speaker 1: But then then I would feel like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: they're judging me. They're saying things by on my back
Speaker 1: if I say I'm Canadian and then they're.
Speaker 3: Like oh, I kind of like being a little rude
Speaker 3: because I feel like they're really like I feel like
Speaker 3: I don't want to say it's like low, but I
Speaker 3: really hate solicitors that just stand outside and bothering people
Speaker 3: for stuff that usually is like I it was really hard.
Speaker 1: It's a hard gig.
Speaker 2: Yeah no he didn't.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, wait wait do we have a drum roll or.
Speaker 2: Something we done so we don't need music? Just no,
Speaker 2: we just read it.
Speaker 1: I need a No, you don't.
Speaker 2: I just want to hear it.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you wait? Read the first text, read mine,
Speaker 1: and then read his.
Speaker 4: Good evening. I'd really like to see you again.
Speaker 1: Okay. Oh my god, my god, I'm dying. I'm dying.
Speaker 1: I'm dying.
Speaker 2: Just read the text, please.
Speaker 1: This is I feel like I'm going to be My
Speaker 1: feeling is gonna be hurt.
Speaker 4: It might be.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'll go, go, go go.
Speaker 4: Sometimes Daddy doesn't like being the bearer of bad news.
Speaker 2: Can you just read it? Please? I don't know if
Speaker 2: that's going to work for me. Is that actually what
Speaker 2: he said?
Speaker 4: No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1: You really argue, well, you.
Speaker 2: Take the phone away from America. Can't be trusted with you.
Speaker 1: This is the this is the definition of insane. I
Speaker 1: keep doing the same thing.
Speaker 2: Did you respond?
Speaker 4: No, somebody else texting you.
Speaker 2: That whole thing was for nothing. God, Laura's heart, she's old.
Speaker 2: She can't handle that type of heart.
Speaker 4: Attack depressed me.
Speaker 1: I would have had to go to the Hoye Cosmetic
Speaker 1: to get like all sorts of surgerony.
Speaker 3: You would do that, you would that's an excuse. Okay, wait,
Speaker 3: because the guy at a bar that you've talked to
Speaker 3: like for two days, yes, doesn't.
Speaker 2: Age different.
Speaker 1: I look like a gruppled paper bag.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: I always rehearse an important phone call before making it.
Speaker 3: Never, No, No, I don't do that. I don't know
Speaker 3: what it is like an important phone call anymore.
Speaker 1: Well, like if you were to call, if you were
Speaker 1: to have a maybe an interview, an over the phone interview,
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean I prepare for it. That's different if you.
Speaker 1: Were too, you needed to talk to somebody really about something. Really,
Speaker 1: it was a kind of uncomfortable I will.
Speaker 2: Say, like practice, but I do like review kind of
Speaker 2: what I'm gonna.
Speaker 1: Say in your head.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's normal.
Speaker 1: Okay. I frequently buy something, regret it, and immediately return it.
Speaker 2: Never once have done that.
Speaker 4: No, but I am returning this bag.
Speaker 2: How much was it? Like three dollars? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Let me see.
Speaker 4: Well, it was supposed to be like a like a
Speaker 4: like a long carry on bag, and it looks like
Speaker 4: an old lady's purse.
Speaker 1: Yes, it sure as hell. That's where it came from
Speaker 1: our favorite to move. Yeah, yeah, that's no. No, I
Speaker 1: have two things in my car right now that I
Speaker 1: am on the way to return. I don't want to say,
Speaker 1: just say what you're gonna give me grief about it.
Speaker 2: It's a perfect it's.
Speaker 1: A clothing store. Uh huh that I have knew. I felt.
Speaker 1: I've kind of really big it a lot.
Speaker 2: Is it a trendy place or it is.
Speaker 1: A trendy place. It's excus very much younger than I.
Speaker 4: Ever twenty one.
Speaker 2: No Abercrombie.
Speaker 1: No, and I saw I was gonna walk in there
Speaker 1: and just see what's up.
Speaker 4: Claire's Oh, you guys.
Speaker 1: Are getting there. You're getting there, you're getting there. Similar, similar, similar,
Speaker 1: Charlotte Russ there's only there's very few. I went into Achilles.
Speaker 2: Oh oh no, going out of business.
Speaker 1: I love that story. They have some great Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I will tell people I'm on the way even though
Speaker 1: I'm still in bed.
Speaker 2: I don't do that. If I'm on the way, I'm
Speaker 2: in the car.
Speaker 4: No, I always tell you I'm on the way when
Speaker 4: I'm like a block from your house.
Speaker 1: And then he'll be on the phone with the one
Speaker 1: of his girlfriends and he'll stay in his car to
Speaker 1: finish the conversation, and he'll show up one minute before show.
Speaker 4: I will know.
Speaker 2: This is like a huge pet piece of for like.
Speaker 1: For me, timeliness.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm always here on time.
Speaker 1: No, No, I've had to start a show like it does.
Speaker 4: Like a dozen times twice.
Speaker 2: If I'm ever late, it's usually intentional.
Speaker 4: It's not, and it's either because I've had to work
Speaker 4: late or I got stuck in traffic. Yeah, over five
Speaker 4: years twice isn't so bad.
Speaker 2: Twice.
Speaker 4: I love how it's It doesn't.
Speaker 2: I would say like two times a month probably.
Speaker 1: No. I make faces in the mirror just to see
Speaker 1: what I'd look like in different moods. No, there, I
Speaker 1: will rewatch a show I've already seen just for comfort reasons.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, absolutely, Oh totally.
Speaker 1: Like I've watched all of Breaking Bad at least three times.
Speaker 2: That's a comfort show.
Speaker 1: Yes, it is for me, It really is, twice, just
Speaker 1: because I know the characters so well and I feel like.
Speaker 4: They're part of my fail I watch. I love Lucy
Speaker 4: will and Grace.
Speaker 2: Golden Girls.
Speaker 3: Oh, I knew he's gonna say Golden Girls over and
Speaker 3: over again.
Speaker 1: Anything. Do you watch any over any TV? Show.
Speaker 2: I've probably seen The Office more than a couple of times.
Speaker 2: It's easy. It's good background noise too.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Also, have you guys seen The Comeback with Lisa Kudro?
Speaker 1: Oh god, so do we talk about the news is
Speaker 1: and hacks? We did?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Did you watch that?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: My god, so good, such a good show. Hacks on Max. Okay,
Speaker 1: I will turn down my music to see better when driving.
Speaker 3: Okay, it has nothing I do that as it has
Speaker 3: nothing to do with seeing.
Speaker 2: It's about sensory overloads. But yes, everybody does all the time.
Speaker 1: Everybody does, even when you parallel park.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not because of seeing better. It's just because
Speaker 3: you have, like your brankling process so many things at once.
Speaker 1: Okay, good and glass.
Speaker 2: It's a very normal thing.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll I say, I'll let you go when I
Speaker 1: want to get off the phone. Okay, Oh you know what,
Speaker 1: I'll let you go.
Speaker 2: Yep. That's a good one. It's letting someone down easy.
Speaker 2: It's like you're doing them a favor.
Speaker 1: Why don't you go go ahead and give them the
Speaker 1: various excuse that I use when I want to get
Speaker 1: off the phone with you?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, So I don't even know where to start.
Speaker 2: She'll be like, I just got a car crash. Let
Speaker 2: me call you back. Oh.
Speaker 4: She'll be like, I'm at work.
Speaker 1: Well that's true, and I think that's hard. But like
Speaker 1: I'll say, you.
Speaker 2: Hear a slot machine in the background.
Speaker 4: She'll say, what else do you say? You'll say, okay,
Speaker 4: well i'll talk.
Speaker 1: Well we'll talk about that tomorrow.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And then I'm like, try as I always know
Speaker 4: when she just doesn't want to talk to me anymore,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, are you trying to get off the
Speaker 4: phone with me? And she'll be like, well, yeah, and
Speaker 4: I'm like, no, I'm She's like.
Speaker 2: Oh, I have to perform an emergency. Tricky because I'm
Speaker 2: on a plane.
Speaker 4: There's no I'll call her over and over and over
Speaker 4: and over again.
Speaker 1: It's a really big mistake on my part when I
Speaker 1: do that, because he's now he knows.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because then I just call her and then I
Speaker 4: miss Lee. I'm Drake, I'm everybody.
Speaker 1: I I brush my teeth in the shower. No, I
Speaker 1: can't doing that every I've done it very few times
Speaker 1: and I'm not a fan.
Speaker 2: Doesn't make sense to me. I like to I like
Speaker 2: to watch my I'll brush my teeth. So now I'm
Speaker 2: doing a good.
Speaker 1: Job falling all over me and that wash it all
Speaker 1: off me. You know, sure that spit. I avoid taking
Speaker 1: a phone call even if I'm free. Yes, everybody does.
Speaker 2: Talking on the phone's awful.
Speaker 1: This one's a phone talker.
Speaker 2: There are like select people I like. I like talking
Speaker 2: on the phone with, but otherwise text me.
Speaker 1: He won't call every time. There are certain people like
Speaker 1: that I want. Okay, I want you to be completely
Speaker 1: honest about this one, and I will be too, because
Speaker 1: I and I will peg you're lying. If you're lying,
Speaker 1: I watch my reflection while walking past windows.
Speaker 2: I do to check my posture.
Speaker 4: Okay, I've done that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I must have. Just check my posture.
Speaker 1: You don't check out your your whole bod, your look,
Speaker 1: your your face, your hair or anything.
Speaker 2: Sometimes my hair, but mostly mostly it's just checked my posture.
Speaker 1: How often, like is it? Do you think it's frequent?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Is it like? Is it like? Just like automatically it happens.
Speaker 3: Now if I'm out in public and I see a
Speaker 3: mirror on the corner of my eye, like I'm walking
Speaker 3: past where I'm like parallel with, I'll check to see
Speaker 3: them make sure my posture is good, but that's about it.
Speaker 1: Really.
Speaker 4: Okay, this is how infrequently I look in a mirror.
Speaker 4: I was at work. This was not that long.
Speaker 2: This was just several weeks ago.
Speaker 4: And my coworker reached over while she was talking to me,
Speaker 4: and she has longer nails like those almond shaped nails.
Speaker 4: Reached into my nostril and pulled a bugger out of it. Okay,
Speaker 4: that was just dang.
Speaker 2: First, well, that's so weird.
Speaker 4: No, I would have.
Speaker 3: Gone the whole day, but she said like, hey, you
Speaker 3: need to blow your nose and said she's like, let
Speaker 3: me pick your nose.
Speaker 4: Super nice.
Speaker 1: Very We're really close to you.
Speaker 4: Yes, But I can't tell you how many times I've
Speaker 4: showed up for work zippers down. I have mismatched socks,
Speaker 4: I have one time I showed up for work with
Speaker 4: the cardboard thing in a brand new shirt that was
Speaker 4: still into the back.
Speaker 2: Celebrity stylist, everybody I've had.
Speaker 4: I've had the hair products like stuck in my hair,
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. Once I And this was just late
Speaker 4: last year. I got a new beard.
Speaker 1: Serum to make it like look nice, grow.
Speaker 4: Yeah to soft, and to keep it so I can
Speaker 4: groom it, and you're supposed to leave it in for
Speaker 4: like thirty minutes and then wash it out. Well, I forgot.
Speaker 4: And the next day I was at work and I
Speaker 4: was talking to a client and I was going like
Speaker 4: this with my beard, and I look over and they're
Speaker 4: all and I looked down and it was just a
Speaker 4: storm of it. Looked like I had dandrum. So that's
Speaker 4: not I will say.
Speaker 3: If I'm in a store, like a clothing store, I
Speaker 3: don't want to be in and like I'm just like,
Speaker 3: there's like a mirror there. I will just stare into
Speaker 3: the mirror long enough to see I can make my
Speaker 3: you know, my reflection change to force a will and
Speaker 3: turn into like a monster.
Speaker 2: You ever seen like that? You stir at the mirror
Speaker 2: long enough starts to look weird.
Speaker 1: No, I don't stare that long into the mirror.
Speaker 2: If I'm stuck in a store I don't want to
Speaker 2: be in.
Speaker 1: No, but I do. I do always check myself out
Speaker 1: when I'm walking past, like a window page. I just see,
Speaker 1: you know, if if I've got it going on, or
Speaker 1: if you.
Speaker 2: Never seem to catch I know, I never do that.
Speaker 1: It's always always okay. Well, do two final things hopefully
Speaker 1: he'll text. If he doesn't, we'll pick it up next
Speaker 1: week or not.
Speaker 2: And then we'll run through some of our search results.
Speaker 1: Oh no, we're going to do that now because I'm
Speaker 1: done with I was going to read you this other story,
Speaker 1: but that's thertage results.
Speaker 3: So that today I was doing some website work and
Speaker 3: so I was looking at our analytics page and there's
Speaker 3: a list of the top things that people search for
Speaker 3: before they click on our site. So these are things
Speaker 3: they search that led them somehow to our website.
Speaker 1: Dark so YouTube or web Star website. Oh okay, Oh
Speaker 1: my god.
Speaker 3: So there's some normal ones. Star top search is obviously
Speaker 3: Lorcane after dark when people are searching for us. Next
Speaker 3: one is just Laura Kane and it's did Loura Kane
Speaker 3: get married? What happened to Laura Caane? And no Frio?
Speaker 3: And then it's Laura Kane porn.
Speaker 1: Wow, somebody who was Oh my god, I know she's
Speaker 1: hiding a secret.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's some, or keep going on, there's some, there's
Speaker 3: some more. There's a lot of misspelled Laura Kanes. There's
Speaker 3: an l O R A k N n E A
Speaker 3: n E. Let's see Louracane, San Diego hurricane. Facebook psychic
Speaker 3: predictions for twenty twenty four Laura Kane nude that pops
Speaker 3: up twice with different with two different spelling areas.
Speaker 4: That was my Google search, so and it.
Speaker 2: Has been googled by one person multiple times at least.
Speaker 1: Oh oh wow, Oh well is that the word o god?
Speaker 2: Uh? Another one was Robert Barco singer Age had.
Speaker 1: That was the guy, the George Michael guy.
Speaker 2: So we're stealing some of his search results. And then
Speaker 2: nudist Moves.
Speaker 1: I don't what we We did a podcast once when
Speaker 1: we interviewed a guy who was a newdist.
Speaker 3: But this is newdest like n U d I S
Speaker 3: T moves, m O v E s Like there's certain
Speaker 3: like you know, like karate moves.
Speaker 4: Like, oh, that's probably for me maybe, mean.
Speaker 1: That's so crazy that they ended up on our website.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And the last good one is black is Caine Black
Speaker 3: is Kane black as Kane.
Speaker 1: Black ass Kanekay, that's not very black.
Speaker 2: There's also Caine steal like the.
Speaker 1: Metal Okay, they must be a company.
Speaker 2: Yeah, numerology is also that's okay.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, result because you know, I'm a little bit psychic.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know, oh you do pop up for
Speaker 3: who is blacklisted from the oscars?
Speaker 1: Okay, I who's from a lot of things.
Speaker 3: The big one is Laura Kane porn and King dudes.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, those the funny.
Speaker 1: One and those Kine is spelled right on the porn ones.
Speaker 2: No, it's oh that's interesting.
Speaker 3: What there's a couple of your of your name searches
Speaker 3: that are all spelled wrong the exact same way. So
Speaker 3: someone was doing some deep searching. It's Lord Caine with
Speaker 3: an M after it like it's just a typo, and
Speaker 3: it's Loura Kane with an M, and then Lowa Kane
Speaker 3: with an M porn.
Speaker 2: So I don't know.
Speaker 3: And you know what's funny these click through Each of
Speaker 3: these metrics has a or Each of these these keywords
Speaker 3: has a click through rate, which is how often after
Speaker 3: someone's searches actually click on the website. And with Lord
Speaker 3: King porn is the second highest click through right, wow?
Speaker 2: Really looking Wow? And that's l.
Speaker 4: Well hold on for those that are looking for Laura
Speaker 4: Kane porn, it's l A. You are a c A
Speaker 4: I N only fan, thank God does not exist. Laura
Speaker 4: Kane only fans Lauracane Bucocky Lauracane, all right.
Speaker 1: I mean unless somebody secretly has taped me or videoed.
Speaker 2: Me, like twenty years ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, not lately, like a long time ago. Then
Speaker 1: that that's not there at all, not this Laura Kane anyway.
Speaker 3: Anyways, it's probably like one person that has been Oh
Speaker 3: my god, you have an admirer.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I want to know what that person's.
Speaker 2: Was trying to check things out, Darren.
Speaker 1: Okay, you know what. You know why he's working or
Speaker 1: he's at the gym. You know, all right, I'm one
Speaker 1: making excuses. Why do I don't care?
Speaker 2: It's fine. He'll text you back when he's for you.
Speaker 4: Are as almost girlfriend, so like just text.
Speaker 2: I love you, Just text him like I love you.
Speaker 1: Why aren't you calling me that I thought we were
Speaker 1: I thought we were in a relationship.
Speaker 4: Are you breaking up with me already?
Speaker 1: If I was a complete psychopath, I would I would.
Speaker 2: I think we would step in.
Speaker 1: I'm out in front of your house right now, I'm
Speaker 1: out in front of the bar, and I'm gonna wait
Speaker 1: here till you get off. Wow, oh god, that's sick.
Speaker 1: Of course I wouldn't do.
Speaker 4: That please, Oh my god, that would be funny if
Speaker 4: you did.
Speaker 1: Desperate but all right to be continued, come back next week.
Speaker 1: The budding romance that is really shouldn't be happening at all,
Speaker 1: considering the.
Speaker 4: Ages, the the blossoming romance that's going it up.
Speaker 1: That is you.
Speaker 2: Okay, you's got to take the fun away from him.
Speaker 2: He's the worst.
Speaker 1: He's like he is.
Speaker 2: He gives false signals. Yeah, give me you posites.
Speaker 1: He's like forgets you're on the air, I know whatever.
Speaker 1: All right, anyway, thank you guys for watching and listening
Speaker 1: as always, so subscribe to our you do channel whens
Speaker 1: and follow us on Instagram. We'd love it and we
Speaker 1: are no zip. Love your podcast, Love your podcast. I
Speaker 1: love you, my sweet babies. I'll see you in June.
Speaker 1: Evin and Charlie yay.