Speaker 1: It's Night Side with Dan ray On Dougie Bzy Boston's
Speaker 1: news video.
Speaker 2: Hey Nicole, thank you very much boy. What a day
Speaker 2: or a day or to day. We got a great
Speaker 2: show lined up for with we are going to be
Speaker 2: talking about the price of electricity and how we can
Speaker 2: save some money because it is brutal. That's coming up
Speaker 2: in the nine o'clock hour when de Morian Linton will
Speaker 2: join us. Also, the polarization of politics. Why can't we
Speaker 2: just be a country of reason and just go down
Speaker 2: the middle and have some common sense. But it seems
Speaker 2: we just swing way to the left. Then we don't
Speaker 2: like it and we swing way to the right. That's
Speaker 2: at ten o'clock. Super Bowl commercials. Who doesn't like to
Speaker 2: talk about Super Bowl commercials? That comes up at eleven o'clock. Now,
Speaker 2: if you're watching news, you may say to yourself, good grief.
Speaker 2: And I will discuss this later on. With what's going
Speaker 2: on with the Trump administration, I don't know how he's
Speaker 2: going to take over the guys of stripping. He doesn't
Speaker 2: own it. It's not for sale. We will discuss that
Speaker 2: going later in the program. But if you're watching, you
Speaker 2: do say good grief, which made me think of our
Speaker 2: first topic is grief. Good in joining us right now
Speaker 2: is Angela Crocker, the executive director of the Parmiteer Foundation. Angela,
Speaker 2: thanks for coming on Night's side.
Speaker 3: Thanks for having me Gary. It's great to be with you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this tough fact to follow when you start off
Speaker 2: with what's going on with Trump. But I want to
Speaker 2: I want to get away from that just a little bit.
Speaker 2: I've had a chance to meet you.
Speaker 3: It was actually I was going to say, I was
Speaker 3: actually hoping to come on for the Super Bowl commercial part.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I know. But I've had a chance to
Speaker 2: learn about your organization through mutual friends and so forth,
Speaker 2: and in what you're doing and and and learn how
Speaker 2: this topic of grief has really become timely. First of all,
Speaker 2: before we get into that, why don't you explain what
Speaker 2: the Parmanteer Foundation does.
Speaker 3: Sure, at its core, the Parmenter Foundation helps people people
Speaker 3: who are grieving or facing end of life challenges, supporting
Speaker 3: family members, friends, co workers who are bereaved. And we
Speaker 3: are here to kind of support all loved ones of
Speaker 3: all ages who are struggling with end of life or
Speaker 3: bereavement grief support needs. Well.
Speaker 2: I don't want to say that grief is well, this
Speaker 2: is going to sound kind of weird. Grief is in,
Speaker 2: or at least talking about grief is in, and Hollywood
Speaker 2: is in on it, which is not a bad thing.
Speaker 2: Let's listen to Andrew Garfield rob Let's he's talking with
Speaker 2: Cooper Anderson. Cooper, Yeah, roller, rob has.
Speaker 4: That grief stayed with you? Yeah, it's see it now,
Speaker 4: you feel it now? Yeah, And it's the only route
Speaker 4: to feeling how close again. That's the crazy thing. It's
Speaker 4: the it's the longing, it's the it's the it's the
Speaker 4: admission of the pain. It's the crying out, Hey, I
Speaker 4: need you, what are you? I miss you so much?
Speaker 4: And only in that absence, only in really inhabiting that
Speaker 4: absence and being that little boy at the bottom of
Speaker 4: that empty cave in vast darkness and just kind of
Speaker 4: crying out, that's the only moment that that she comes.
Speaker 2: It's so weird.
Speaker 4: It's like the longing and the grief for the inhabiting
Speaker 4: it and feeling it is the only way I can
Speaker 4: is the only way I can really feel close to
Speaker 4: her again. The wound is the only roots to the gift.
Speaker 4: The grief and the loss is the only roots to
Speaker 4: the vitality of being alive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that he's talking about his mother. So now,
Speaker 2: why has it become okay to talk about this? Because
Speaker 2: when I grew up it's weird. I remember going to
Speaker 2: my first week, you know, my aunt Lydia, and I
Speaker 2: still have this image of going into the funeral home
Speaker 2: and you go to the casket and you see you
Speaker 2: there and you're like, what's going on? And you know,
Speaker 2: in a small mill time like Rumford, you know, there's
Speaker 2: sometimes there's not a big difference between something happening in
Speaker 2: at a bar and a wake. You know, it's it's
Speaker 2: it's a social situation, you know, but yet it's it's
Speaker 2: not really talked about the way it is now. It's
Speaker 2: like you have the wake, you have the funeral, you
Speaker 2: move on. That's it. Why has it become so fashionable
Speaker 2: for people to hang on to their grief and discuss it.
Speaker 3: Well, you know, it's very interesting because it's actually a
Speaker 3: very new kind of phenomenon for people, particularly famous people,
Speaker 3: to come out and really talk about grief and how
Speaker 3: it affects them and how they're how they've found ways
Speaker 3: to grief. When I started at Partment Foundation in twenty
Speaker 3: fifteen and for me on a personal note, in the
Speaker 3: fall of twenty seventeen, I was attending my daughter's first
Speaker 3: high school soccer game in our small town, and I
Speaker 3: was cheering for the team, and it was such an
Speaker 3: exciting day. It was her first game, and I looked
Speaker 3: to my right and I saw another player's mom who
Speaker 3: I didn't know well, but I immediately recognized her as
Speaker 3: the mother whose child had passed away just a month
Speaker 3: or two prior to the game in a tragic accident,
Speaker 3: and I was immediately viscerally affected. My stomach clenched. I
Speaker 3: started non stop thought processing about what to say. I
Speaker 3: stopped cheering. I couldn't figure out what to do, what
Speaker 3: to say, I couldn't move, and I was scared to
Speaker 3: say anything. I didn't want to say something that would
Speaker 3: remind her of the loss of her son, and now,
Speaker 3: of course, I know you can't remind someone of something
Speaker 3: they never forget. I didn't want to ignore her loss
Speaker 3: and say hello casually. So I stood there and said
Speaker 3: nothing and had I had such big regret afterwards that
Speaker 3: I came back to work and said, you know, if
Speaker 3: we're in the space of providing at the time, or
Speaker 3: providing some pospice care and children's preement work. I thought,
Speaker 3: we need to be changing our culture so that we
Speaker 3: can that we know how to support one another, so
Speaker 3: that we can talk to one another. And I think
Speaker 3: that during COVID we really started focusing in this area.
Speaker 3: And I think it's a time where people started really
Speaker 3: talking about grief. And I think that was the turning
Speaker 3: point culturally for us in the United States when we
Speaker 3: started to be much more open about this topic.
Speaker 2: How do you recommend you just talked about what you
Speaker 2: went through as far as approaching someone you didn't know
Speaker 2: about their situation, how do you recommend people handle speaking
Speaker 2: to someone who has lost a loved one a month ago,
Speaker 2: six months ago, a year ago? How do you recommend?
Speaker 2: What do you recommend? How do you approach it?
Speaker 3: Yeah? So, yeah, that we've kind of really embraced this
Speaker 3: focus area. We've found a lot of gaps and resources,
Speaker 3: and we've actually created a lot of video and written
Speaker 3: resources on our website at Wwwparmenterfoundation dot org. And in fact,
Speaker 3: as a result of this moment that I talked to
Speaker 3: you about, we worked with experts at the Children's Room
Speaker 3: and creative video series. It helps parents support their children
Speaker 3: or teens who have lost a peer, or to support
Speaker 3: their peer who has lost the loved one, and so
Speaker 3: all of the experts are right there talking in the videos.
Speaker 3: We also created a video series called What to Say
Speaker 3: and What Not to Say, which is one of our
Speaker 3: most watched videos and that it is a best selling author,
Speaker 3: Rebecca Sofer of Modern Loss, and she came up to
Speaker 3: speak to our community and did a video series for
Speaker 3: us just giving people kind of the lay of the land,
Speaker 3: because the isolation of not saying anything is really the
Speaker 3: worst thing that we can do our community. So we
Speaker 3: really need to have the words what do.
Speaker 2: You say then? And what don't you say? Let's start
Speaker 2: with the let's start with what should you say? Can
Speaker 2: you give us some examples?
Speaker 3: Sure, I'm thinking about you. I you know, I don't
Speaker 3: know exactly. It's okay to say you don't know what
Speaker 3: to say, but just let them know that you're you're
Speaker 3: thinking of them and that it's okay for them to
Speaker 3: grieve with you. What you should never say are things
Speaker 3: like comparison statements. For instance, well at least he didn't suffer,
Speaker 3: Oh god, at least you've had many years with him
Speaker 3: or you know, those for me are the trigger of
Speaker 3: the worst. There are a lot more suggestions in those videos,
Speaker 3: but for me, those two things stand out the most.
Speaker 3: You can say, you don't know what to say, but
Speaker 3: you want to be there for them, and then just
Speaker 3: don't ever say, at least don't ever start your sentence
Speaker 3: with that.
Speaker 2: Well, I've done that to myself, and maybe that's the
Speaker 2: way of coping with my parents' death. My mom was
Speaker 2: eighty four, my dad was ninety. He was eighty nine,
Speaker 2: but you know, I rounded up to ninety just to
Speaker 2: makes I don't know, like he like he achieved something, right,
Speaker 2: you know, way to go, dad, He almost made it
Speaker 2: to ninety. And I look at my father in law,
Speaker 2: who tragically passed away at sixty one suddenly of a
Speaker 2: heart attack, and my dad died of natural causes at ninety,
Speaker 2: and I go, well, at least he you know, here,
Speaker 2: here's one. How about this, Well, at least he had
Speaker 2: a good run. I mean, my god, I said that
Speaker 2: about my own father. What an idiot, you know. And
Speaker 2: I don't know why, but I guess it makes me
Speaker 2: feel better because I don't know if I bring humor
Speaker 2: to it. I don't know if I try to lessen it,
Speaker 2: you know, because at ninety, I mean, he couldn't see
Speaker 2: and he just wasn't the guy that he had wanted
Speaker 2: to be. So maybe I don't know, we justify that
Speaker 2: to ourselves. Like I remember people in my hometown saying,
Speaker 2: well I had a good run. I mean, is that's crazy?
Speaker 2: They were, like it was the playoffs.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, the other thing I will say is to
Speaker 3: have a great compassion for others and for yourself, and
Speaker 3: that there really is no right way to grieve. So
Speaker 3: if you want to comfort yourself by telling yourself that
Speaker 3: your dad had a great run and that you had
Speaker 3: all those years with him and that you were really lucky,
Speaker 3: that that's fine. It's it's sort of like criticizing your
Speaker 3: family members but not allowing anyone else to do the same,
Speaker 3: so you you can grieve however you need to.
Speaker 2: All Right, we have more to discuss. Big event coming up,
Speaker 2: big event coming up with a Partmenteer Foundation, and we're
Speaker 2: going to get Angela to talk about that, involving with
Speaker 2: a involving a descendant of Superman, and we'll discuss that
Speaker 2: coming up next on WBC's Nightside.
Speaker 1: Now back to Dan Ray Mine from the Window. World
Speaker 1: Nightside Studios on WBZ.
Speaker 2: News Radio carry Tanguay for day tonight. Angela Cross our guests,
Speaker 2: the executive director of the Pomiteer Foundation, helping people tackle
Speaker 2: grief of all ages. Now. I was just talking to
Speaker 2: Rob Brooks, our producer here during during the break Angela,
Speaker 2: and he talked about dealing with the death of his
Speaker 2: father and that happened during COVID. So how did COVID
Speaker 2: impact on what you're doing now and did it lend
Speaker 2: itself to creating more discussion about it.
Speaker 3: I think it definitely created a lot of discussion because
Speaker 3: all of those rituals that we were used to kind
Speaker 3: of using to help us with our grief and process
Speaker 3: with our family and friends were unavailable to us, and
Speaker 3: so we started to really dig into grief in a
Speaker 3: different way and learn new ways to greet, but also
Speaker 3: needed outlets to talk about it. It was a very isolating
Speaker 3: experience COVID in general, and then to have a loss
Speaker 3: of a loved one during that time was incredibly painful
Speaker 3: and difficult, and I think that accelerated the conversation about
Speaker 3: grieving the loss of a loved one.
Speaker 2: Listen I married into a Jewish family. So cynic HIV
Speaker 2: I think is one of the greatest things ever because
Speaker 2: it lasts for days and because it takes time, and
Speaker 2: there's also a ton of food, which is never a
Speaker 2: bad thing. And you know, coming from a Catholic family
Speaker 2: in Maine, you know, you did the wake, you did
Speaker 2: the funeral. Generally, there was a lot of consuming of alcohol,
Speaker 2: a lot of that going on. There are a lot
Speaker 2: of toasts going around, you know, for Uncle Johnny or
Speaker 2: Uncle Jimmy, you know, or whatever. And then I found
Speaker 2: myself on a zoom for my wife's grandmother during COVID
Speaker 2: for a service that was strange. I mean, there's no
Speaker 2: nothing anybody could do. But I felt bad for I
Speaker 2: felt bad for the family. I mean, a funeral service
Speaker 2: on zoom is just it's awful.
Speaker 3: It just really it just really compounded our loss and
Speaker 3: it made our grief more complicated. And we're and we're
Speaker 3: slowly coming out of that. But I do think a
Speaker 3: positive byproduct of that is that there is much more
Speaker 3: conversation and much more support out there organizations. Although I
Speaker 3: think we are a very unique organization, We're out there
Speaker 3: trying to make sure that that complex web of support
Speaker 3: is there for our community and to make sure that
Speaker 3: any gaps and service. We recently found a real gap
Speaker 3: for college age students who are navigating grief away from
Speaker 3: their home and in a new community, and we've created
Speaker 3: some training measurements and some protocols to put into place
Speaker 3: for available at no cost for colleges in universities higher
Speaker 3: education pros to help educate the professors on a compassionate
Speaker 3: campus and how to speak with students who've had a loss,
Speaker 3: because it's unbelievable to me what some of the feedback
Speaker 3: is that the children have received, or the college students,
Speaker 3: I should say, it's hard for me to remember that
Speaker 3: their adults, and considering I have one and she just
Speaker 3: feels like she's still my little child. But then also
Speaker 3: for the students to be able to speak to one another.
Speaker 3: And so this training is unique because it is for
Speaker 3: all students and all professors. It doesn't have to be
Speaker 3: somebody who's experienced a loss, and we're really taking a
Speaker 3: lot of that isolation out of the process. So we're
Speaker 3: really excited about that project.
Speaker 2: Can you get into the details about that, because generally
Speaker 2: you think other college kids, what do they have to
Speaker 2: worry about. They let her roll off their back, They
Speaker 2: go to a fraternity party, they go with some friends,
Speaker 2: they have pizza, they go on with their lives. And
Speaker 2: we think of mourning as someone who's in their sixties
Speaker 2: and they've lost their father or they've lost a brother
Speaker 2: or sister. But you're right, it's an untapped well the
Speaker 2: lack of a better term, market or demographic. Demographic is
Speaker 2: a better word. So can you give me some details,
Speaker 2: some meat and potatoes about that.
Speaker 3: Sure? So you know, nearly one in three higher education
Speaker 3: students will find themselves bereaved, either just before or during
Speaker 3: their college career. And we have spoken with a lot
Speaker 3: of kids and heard their stories, including stories of We
Speaker 3: know a young woman who lost her parent just before
Speaker 3: she went to college and got the syllabus from her
Speaker 3: school from her classroom and learned that on the anniversary
Speaker 3: of her parents' first passing that she and her family
Speaker 3: were supposed to get together. And so she went to
Speaker 3: the professor early in the semesters that I see you
Speaker 3: have an exam scheduled in October. Can I take that early?
Speaker 3: I need to be with my family. And the professor
Speaker 3: told her, you can take the exam or you can
Speaker 3: get a zero. Those are your choices, and so just
Speaker 3: a lack of kind of compassion there. We have another
Speaker 3: story from a gentleman who went to a professor and
Speaker 3: after having missed a week and a half of school
Speaker 3: and said, I'm so sorry I had to go home.
Speaker 3: My mother has My mother had passed away and she
Speaker 3: was unfortunately she had been sort of at end of
Speaker 3: life with a long term illness, and he was afraid
Speaker 3: to go home because he didn't want to miss out
Speaker 3: on college. That's a big thing for kids is to
Speaker 3: miss a day of classes, they feel like they can't
Speaker 3: possibly catch up. And he went home and was home
Speaker 3: for a week and came back and the professor said, well,
Speaker 3: we'll talk about this, but not until I see an obituary.
Speaker 3: So there's just a lot going on for our students
Speaker 3: who are suffering a great loss and still trying to
Speaker 3: navigate college and friendships and social and emotional health and
Speaker 3: all the things that they have going on by themselves,
Speaker 3: and it often can become very isolating. And our goal
Speaker 3: is to help to have all students kind of recognize
Speaker 3: what can be going on and know how to support
Speaker 3: one another so that it reduces that and reduces the
Speaker 3: as you say, to go off to a fraternity party
Speaker 3: and drink and help your you know, those unhealthy ways
Speaker 3: of making themselves feel better or trying to limit to
Speaker 3: for their help the wealthy.
Speaker 2: Well, whoa you're talking to the social chairman of Delta
Speaker 2: Upsilon fraternity. What do you mean on health?
Speaker 3: No, I know, I understand what you're saying and the
Speaker 3: response to grief. It's not the safest thing. But as
Speaker 3: a college, you know, they do what they do.
Speaker 2: Yes, well, and we did what we did. But what
Speaker 2: I have found in my life is when you know,
Speaker 2: I lost a friend, I mean in Sudbury. I've talked
Speaker 2: about him. My good friend Alan Greenberg all of a
Speaker 2: sudden had a heart attack driving his car. As heart
Speaker 2: stopped and we covered the Patriots together and just and
Speaker 2: I had to go see a therapist. I mean, I was,
Speaker 2: I had panic attacks and a number of people in
Speaker 2: the media that I talked to and I won't mention names,
Speaker 2: but you know that people sports fans know, we were
Speaker 2: all like this happened and we were blown out of
Speaker 2: the water. Fifty five years old, fifty six, fifty five
Speaker 2: years old. He was healthy, except he ate some junk food,
Speaker 2: but he wasn't He didn't drink, he didn't smoke, He
Speaker 2: worked out all the time and then boomed like that.
Speaker 2: And there's I think for men, uh, there's that angle
Speaker 2: too where you know you're not supposed to grieve or
Speaker 2: you're not supposed to discuss it. And I remember driving
Speaker 2: thinking about him like just I you know, I couldn't breathe.
Speaker 2: You know that when when somebody dies in your age group,
Speaker 2: that's when it hit you like a ton of bricks.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's a that is a really tough loss in
Speaker 3: it It oftentimes gives you pause to kind of look
Speaker 3: at your life and the what ifs, and that can
Speaker 3: be very scary.
Speaker 2: But you know what, we do that for like a minute,
Speaker 2: and then we go back to doing this same old
Speaker 2: stupid crap. You know, that's the thing we do. That's
Speaker 2: you know, I've kind of kicked back in life a
Speaker 2: little bit after many use of covering sports, and my
Speaker 2: wife still says to me, you know, are you gonna,
Speaker 2: like do get busy? Oh, I don't know. I'm kind
Speaker 2: of digging this right now. But we don't, you know,
Speaker 2: we'll always say stop and smell the roses. Or and
Speaker 2: then you know, five minutes later we get pissed off
Speaker 2: because the butter's bad in the fridge. You know, I
Speaker 2: mean it never, It never gets in our head. We never.
Speaker 2: I'm not you don't have to comment. I'm just saying
Speaker 2: we never. You know, think about that. Maybe through the
Speaker 2: process you said you're talking about what people are discussing
Speaker 2: and that you should keep it in front of your mind.
Speaker 2: Maybe this will help us, I don't know, be more appreciative,
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and focus on the people that you can help,
Speaker 3: which I'm sure that if Alan had family and friends
Speaker 3: that you would know how to support them. That's that's
Speaker 3: a big piece.
Speaker 2: Well, I think the key is to never forget though
Speaker 2: too like we still I remember we used to tell,
Speaker 2: oh my god Greenberg, but if he was here now,
Speaker 2: he would be like he used to drive Belichick nuts
Speaker 2: and press conferences and would say, like, what we need
Speaker 2: is an Alan Greenberg press. We need an Alan Greenberg
Speaker 2: question right now to send Bill through the roof. Okay,
Speaker 2: big day coming up, It's coming up Wednesday, April second.
Speaker 2: We are going to talk about that. Well, Reeves is
Speaker 2: going to be joining you and your organization. We will
Speaker 2: discuss that coming up next right here on WBZ.
Speaker 1: You're on Night Side with Dan Ray on w b Z,
Speaker 1: Boston's news Radio.
Speaker 2: All right, Gary tangling in for Dan Ray. Back here
Speaker 2: on WBC's nights Side, Angela Crocker joining us to the
Speaker 2: executive director of the Parmitaire Foundation, discussing how we tackle grief.
Speaker 2: So let's talk about the big night coming up on Wednesday,
Speaker 2: April second. Tell us all about it and your big
Speaker 2: and this is a big deal. This is a really
Speaker 2: big deal. And I think we have to congratulate Jen
Speaker 2: for pulling this off.
Speaker 3: So I'm just going to say that I'm just going
Speaker 3: to tell you that this is a pie in the
Speaker 3: sky idea from Jen Siegel, or communication and program manager.
Speaker 3: She had listened to Anderson Cooper's podcast All There Is
Speaker 3: and Will Reeve was speaking on It was a guest
Speaker 3: on the podcast, and she said, boy, I want to
Speaker 3: be fabulous if we could have him come to our
Speaker 3: community and talk to him how he has navigated his
Speaker 3: life from high school to college for a successful career
Speaker 3: in broadcast journalism while still carrying the grief of the
Speaker 3: loss of both of his parents with him. And she
Speaker 3: reached out to him, and he responded and said he
Speaker 3: would love to come talk to our community. And so
Speaker 3: April second is the day. At seven pm. We're going
Speaker 3: to be at a really intimate space at the Regis
Speaker 3: College Theater in Weston, mass It's a it's not a
Speaker 3: big venue, so it'll be a very intimate experience, and
Speaker 3: also the tickets are selling fast for that, but really
Speaker 3: selling fast for the opportunity to meet Will. There's a
Speaker 3: limited space for a meet and greet after his his show,
Speaker 3: and the show is comprised of him speaking a moderated
Speaker 3: discussion with a question and answer from the audience as well.
Speaker 2: Now, Will will you be showing the documentary? Did he
Speaker 2: do a documentary?
Speaker 3: Yeah, so he recently was in it was involved in
Speaker 3: a documentary called super slash Man and that documentary was
Speaker 3: about his family. And then he's also actually going to
Speaker 3: be appearing in Superman, the next movie coming out. He
Speaker 3: has an appearance in that Superman movie. And of course
Speaker 3: most people may know him from Good Morning America where
Speaker 3: he is a journalist and had previously been an ESPN
Speaker 3: You may have have met well.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's just it just goes to show the
Speaker 2: type of guy he is. Because the planning was, how
Speaker 2: do we get this person. We'll try to talk to
Speaker 2: this person, we'll read we'll never get him. And then
Speaker 2: you know, miss Siegel just dials him up and says
Speaker 2: hey dude, and boom he's there, which just goes to
Speaker 2: show how important this is to him. Really, I mean,
Speaker 2: no agent, no, you know, usually you have to deal
Speaker 2: with agents and speaking engagements and all that. So and
Speaker 2: he's just going to come in and do this, which
Speaker 2: I think is amazing. The celebrity part of this, how
Speaker 2: much is you know, it's a fact, you know, it's
Speaker 2: a factor. I mean, he's Superman's kid, right, So do.
Speaker 3: We know a lot of people know his story? Right?
Speaker 3: So a lot of people know his father being a
Speaker 3: Superman actor, director, activist, and that he was paralyzed larger
Speaker 3: than life man on the on the movie Theater was
Speaker 3: paralyzed in a horseback riding accident when Will was just
Speaker 3: three years old, so he was quite young. His mother, Dana,
Speaker 3: was his father's caregiver, so he watched the caregiving all
Speaker 3: those years, and then when he was twelve years old,
Speaker 3: his father died from complications of an infection, and eighteen
Speaker 3: months later, his mother Dana Reeve died of lung cancer,
Speaker 3: so by the time that he was thirteen, he was
Speaker 3: orphaned by both of his parents. And he says, you know,
Speaker 3: he's very resilient and he's very inspiring. And I think
Speaker 3: that that's what people will respond to. The fact that
Speaker 3: people know his story makes him I think a little
Speaker 3: bit more relatable. They know what they're coming into. But he,
Speaker 3: I think, is just a remarkable man. And he talks
Speaker 3: about how grief is permanent, but healing is possible, and
Speaker 3: that's his mantra. And he tries to honor his parents
Speaker 3: how he lives and treats other people, and you can
Speaker 3: tell he's just incredibly personable and very eager to help.
Speaker 3: But you know, responded within hours of our of Jennifer
Speaker 3: emailing him, I mean, really responsive and excited to come
Speaker 3: and join our community.
Speaker 2: Well, that seagull girl knocks down walls. I'll tell you
Speaker 2: right now, that's what she does. But also you left
Speaker 2: out a very important little nugget. Robin Williams and Christopher
Speaker 2: Reeve's roommates at Juilliard.
Speaker 3: Right, Oh, you know, I didn't know that. I know that.
Speaker 2: How about that company?
Speaker 3: My big spear not to leave something out. So I'm
Speaker 3: glad it was something I didn't actually know.
Speaker 2: Can you I mean, what was that like? Because well Williams,
Speaker 2: I mean to get you know, get off topic a
Speaker 2: little bit. He was going to be a serious actor,
Speaker 2: wasn't getting work, and then just became this, Oh my god.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know storm of a comedian, but you
Speaker 2: know Superman and you know the professor from Goodwill hunting
Speaker 2: his roommates. Boy, I wish I would have been a
Speaker 2: fly on that wall. That would have been. That would
Speaker 2: have been so one time.
Speaker 3: I knew that they were very good friends. I didn't
Speaker 3: know that that it had come through their roommate situation.
Speaker 2: A friend of mine said to me once, and he
Speaker 2: has actually just dealt with the loss of his wife.
Speaker 2: He said, there is relief and death at times. Do
Speaker 2: you agree with that?
Speaker 3: Well, what I will say is that we oftentimes talk
Speaker 3: about that that relief is okay. I hear it a lot,
Speaker 3: particularly in cases where there's long term illness, right, and
Speaker 3: the caregiver has given all that they have for usually
Speaker 3: quite a long period of time, And it is sadly
Speaker 3: not uncommon for a caregiver to pass before the person
Speaker 3: who is sick because of the stress and told that
Speaker 3: it takes on a caregiver to care twenty four hours
Speaker 3: a day for another person. I loved one, and so yes,
Speaker 3: I do hear that and it resonates for a lot
Speaker 3: of people.
Speaker 2: You know, my dad when he passed away, he couldn't
Speaker 2: really take care of himself and he hated it. So
Speaker 2: sometimes with modern medicine, have you ever thought of maybe
Speaker 2: we live too long?
Speaker 3: Well, I'm not sure that I'm the judge of who
Speaker 3: lived too long or not. I will say that I
Speaker 3: have seen a lot of information about giving the power
Speaker 3: of making more healthcare decisions to the person who is ill,
Speaker 3: so that they can make decisions about how they want
Speaker 3: their life to be. Hospice is a really is something
Speaker 3: that we really do a lot of support of, particularly
Speaker 3: hospice residential care, which is not covered by insurance and
Speaker 3: so it is an out of pocket expense for the
Speaker 3: room and board, and we can we subsidize that at
Speaker 3: a hosta at a local hospice in Wayland, the Miriam
Speaker 3: Boyd Parlan Hospice Residents and we do that because as
Speaker 3: you talk about this, it makes me think about dignity
Speaker 3: at end of life and it really is a compassionate
Speaker 3: homelight setting for people, and so I think that's what
Speaker 3: the focus for our organization is really about, dignity and
Speaker 3: compassionate care.
Speaker 2: How Come I don't know if you can answer this.
Speaker 2: How come it's not covered by insurance? I don't understand that.
Speaker 2: I know insurance companies want to they want to take
Speaker 2: our money. They don't want to pay it out when
Speaker 2: they got it. But why isn't it an answer?
Speaker 3: No, the care is covered, So the medical care is covered,
Speaker 3: but the residence is not.
Speaker 2: Right, But if you're in a hospital or a nursing home,
Speaker 2: it is covered. Yes, that's a head scratch it to me.
Speaker 2: I don't understand that one at all. But you know
Speaker 2: I'm not.
Speaker 3: I'm a very complex system.
Speaker 2: Well, what are you kidding me? I mean I'm not
Speaker 2: going to I could call a blue Cross and blue
Speaker 2: shield tomorrow on that, and I'm not going to win
Speaker 2: that battle. Okay, Angela again, Angela Crocker, Wednesday, April second,
Speaker 2: I will be there and we'll ring. YEP is going
Speaker 2: to be speaking. It's a regius college. Check it out.
Speaker 2: Also check out the Parimiteer Foundation if you're dealing with grief.
Speaker 2: The loss of a loved one or if you want
Speaker 2: to help or you want to find out what they're about.
Speaker 2: Because the part about Angela's caused, which I when I
Speaker 2: was brought into it, I thought, Okay, well, she's helping people,
Speaker 2: she's helping old people deal with death. I mean, that's
Speaker 2: what I thought, right, And then you just gave this
Speaker 2: great explanation of how you're helping young people and getting
Speaker 2: into colleges and supporting them emotionally, which I never would
Speaker 2: have even thought of. So the Parimiteer Organization is opening doors,
Speaker 2: so I will see you well, if not before on
Speaker 2: April second, I'll.
Speaker 3: Look forward to it and your audience can find out
Speaker 3: more about the Parmenter Foundation as well as the will
Speaker 3: Reap event at our website Parmenter Foundation dot org. And
Speaker 3: I don't know if it'll be up on your program
Speaker 3: notes or not.
Speaker 2: We will, we are gonna this. We put this up
Speaker 2: as a podcast and we'll put it in the notes
Speaker 2: with the podcast as well, and we'll put it out
Speaker 2: on social medo.
Speaker 3: Well, thank you so much, really appreciate the opportunity and
Speaker 3: always love chatting with you.
Speaker 2: Angela. Take care, We appreciate your efforts.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. Have a great night and have
Speaker 3: fun with your comedian.
Speaker 2: Oh well, believe me, I will. Angela Crocker, the executive
Speaker 2: director of the Parmitan Foundation helping you tackle grief. Unique
Speaker 2: group really is. If you're dealing with this and we
Speaker 2: all have to deal with it at some point, I
Speaker 2: recommend you check it out at the parmiteerdog org dot org.
Speaker 2: Google them, you'll find them. You'll see Angela, Angela Crockett, Parmoneer.
Speaker 2: And if you're looking for help reading material, you want
Speaker 2: to work, you want to contribute, you want to volunteer,
Speaker 2: they are all yours. Okay, this is WBZ Gary tang
Speaker 2: Way for Dan. Right coming up. My electric bill is crazy,
Speaker 2: but I mean I got we leave the lights on.
Speaker 2: I'm my father. I have become my father. Shut off
Speaker 2: the damn lights. Everybody leaves the lights on. That's next.
Speaker 1: WBS Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window
Speaker 1: World Nightside Studios on WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 2: It's Gary Tagway for Dan. If you just heard the
Speaker 2: big voice guys say that you got me, well, I'm
Speaker 2: sorry you may be disappointed. I did get ahead of myself.
Speaker 2: We are going to talking about We will talk about
Speaker 2: the high cost of electricity, what we need to do
Speaker 2: about it. That's coming up at nine o'clock with the
Speaker 2: Morian Linton, the CEO of Inertial Resources. So we will
Speaker 2: do that in about ten minutes. But I'm just gonna
Speaker 2: rant a little bit. So Trump is saying that we
Speaker 2: should take over the Gaza Strip and do what put
Speaker 2: up a Dave Inbusters. I mean, so there are people
Speaker 2: that live there. Oh, by the way, Now he says,
Speaker 2: you can the place displace the Palestinians. Now I don't
Speaker 2: want to speak for the Palestinians, but based on what
Speaker 2: I've seen of the Gaza Strip. If I'm a Palestinian
Speaker 2: and you say to me, I will take you to
Speaker 2: another country or you can go live someplace else, I'm
Speaker 2: in but that's me. But where are you're going to go?
Speaker 2: So some other countries have said no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: we're not taking these guys in other Middle Eastern countries.
Speaker 2: So Trump just continues, like what is he say? What
Speaker 2: is he thinking? He looked, you know what's he's a
Speaker 2: real estate developer. He's still that's what he's doing. He's
Speaker 2: looking at the Gaza Strip like a strip mall of
Speaker 2: new Jersey. What can I do? How do I tear
Speaker 2: it down? What do I do with it? So we're
Speaker 2: going to take ownership of it. It's not ours, it
Speaker 2: doesn't belong to us. Well, and do you think Imas
Speaker 2: is just gonna hand it over? Oh? By the way,
Speaker 2: President Trump, remember the people that busted through the fence
Speaker 2: and murdered Israeli citizens when they were just having a
Speaker 2: Sunday morning social gathering. What are you gonna do with them?
Speaker 2: You think they're gonna leave? I mean what, I don't
Speaker 2: under I don't get it. And it makes sense that
Speaker 2: he gets along with Natanya who because they both have
Speaker 2: the same type of personalities, very bravado, very aggressive. So
Speaker 2: I see why Natanya who said that, you know, Trump's
Speaker 2: the greatest president ever, they feel the same way. Just
Speaker 2: bulldoze everybody. I couldn't believe what he said, that what
Speaker 2: are we We're gonna take a some of the guys
Speaker 2: a strip, Let's just take it over, like he's gonna
Speaker 2: put up one of his retail properties. It's unbelievable. And
Speaker 2: then of course now Musk he's still running around pissing
Speaker 2: people off, and somebody on his staff allegedly has access
Speaker 2: to the federal payroll system. You gotta be careful here, folks.
Speaker 2: Are these people that proved the people on Musk's staff,
Speaker 2: have they cleared? Have they gone through a security clearance?
Speaker 2: Are you looking at social Security numbers of government employees?
Speaker 2: Are you looking at addresses? Are you looking at family information?
Speaker 2: Are you looking at household incomes? Because Musk has some
Speaker 2: twenty five year old intern that just wants to come
Speaker 2: in and take a look at the numbers. Have these
Speaker 2: people been cleared? I mean, these are the things that
Speaker 2: are through my mind. And I can appreciate the theory
Speaker 2: of let's make the government more efficient, I really can,
Speaker 2: because we all know that there's too much fat. There
Speaker 2: always has been, there always will be, and sometimes you
Speaker 2: have to spend more to help some people. You know,
Speaker 2: it's never going to be perfect. But then he wants
Speaker 2: to then he just wants to do away with depart Like,
Speaker 2: just do away with departments. That's it. Just wipe it out,
Speaker 2: just say yeah, we don't need this anymore. Boom, you know,
Speaker 2: just you gotta slow down a little bit. I'm all
Speaker 2: for being efficient, I really am, and I can appreciate it.
Speaker 2: But you know, the Department of Education which I didn't.
Speaker 2: I thought it had long been established well before nineteen seventy nine.
Speaker 2: I was surprised. They held people in lower income areas,
Speaker 2: They help students with disabilities, They manage financial aid. Did
Speaker 2: you get financial aid to go to college? I got
Speaker 2: a little bit, good Old University of Maine. I mean,
Speaker 2: it wasn't a time my dad worked. My mom didn't.
Speaker 2: He worked in a mill did okay, But yeah, we
Speaker 2: got some help. Every little bit helped. So are you
Speaker 2: just going to wipe that out? I mean so okay.
Speaker 2: If you wipe out the Department of Education, the financial aid,
Speaker 2: that's the thing that worries me. There will be people
Speaker 2: that can't afford to go to college. Now, if you
Speaker 2: want to tell me there's some way that you can
Speaker 2: lower the price of college, I'm all for it, because
Speaker 2: I'm paying tuition right now for two It's crazy. We've
Speaker 2: done topics on this. The cost of post secondary education
Speaker 2: is high way robbery. It's not worth it. For the
Speaker 2: most part, across the country, the education that college students
Speaker 2: get is not worth the money. They have to get loans.
Speaker 2: They can't afford to pay them off when they get out.
Speaker 2: The jobs aren't there, and certainly the income isn't there.
Speaker 2: So let's just get rid of the Department of Education
Speaker 2: and we'll get rid of all those student loans and
Speaker 2: financial assistance. Let's just do that. Or what about students
Speaker 2: who cannot walk and there are schools that need financial
Speaker 2: help to put in elevators or in buses, or for
Speaker 2: those that are hearing impaired or sightless. It's just not
Speaker 2: that easy. You can still be fiscally responsible and compassionate.
Speaker 2: It's not either or doesn't have to be, just doesn't
Speaker 2: have to be. Lower your electricity prices. You know what
Speaker 2: I tell the kids, Put on a sweater, Put on
Speaker 2: a sweat, and turn down the heat that's coming up.
Speaker 2: An next Towbz's night side