WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:03.439 This is section thirty three of The Gilded Age. This 2 00:00:03.520 --> 00:00:06.960 LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age, 3 00:00:06.960 --> 00:00:10.039 A Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and C. D. Warner, 4 00:00:10.199 --> 00:00:15.000 Chapter thirty three. Laura soon discovered that there were three 5 00:00:15.279 --> 00:00:20.760 distinct aristocracies in Washington. One of these, nicknamed the Antiques, 6 00:00:21.079 --> 00:00:25.039 consisted of cultivated, high bred old families who looked back 7 00:00:25.120 --> 00:00:28.239 with pride upon an ancestry that had been all was 8 00:00:28.399 --> 00:00:31.800 great in the nation's councils and its wars, from the 9 00:00:31.839 --> 00:00:35.719 birth of the Republic downward. Into this select circle, it 10 00:00:35.840 --> 00:00:39.640 was difficult to gain admission. Number two was the aristocracy 11 00:00:39.640 --> 00:00:43.399 of the middle ground, of which more Anon number three 12 00:00:43.560 --> 00:00:46.520 lay beyond of it. We will say a word here. 13 00:00:47.159 --> 00:00:50.640 We will call it the aristocracy of the parvenus. As 14 00:00:50.640 --> 00:00:55.000 indeed the general public did official position, no matter how 15 00:00:55.039 --> 00:00:58.280 obtained entitled, demand to a place in it, and carried 16 00:00:58.320 --> 00:01:01.119 his family with him, no matter or whence they sprang. 17 00:01:01.920 --> 00:01:05.000 Great wealth gave a man a still higher and nobler 18 00:01:05.040 --> 00:01:08.640 place in it than did official position. If this wealth 19 00:01:08.680 --> 00:01:13.000 had been acquired by conspicuous ingenuity, with just a pleasant 20 00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:16.640 little spice of illegality about it, all the better This 21 00:01:16.879 --> 00:01:23.680 aristocracy was fast and not averse to ostentation. The aristocracy 22 00:01:23.680 --> 00:01:27.560 of the antiques ignored the aristocracy of the parvenue. The 23 00:01:27.599 --> 00:01:32.560 parvenu laughed at the antiques and secretly envied them. There 24 00:01:32.560 --> 00:01:36.359 were certain important society customs which one in Laura's position 25 00:01:36.480 --> 00:01:39.799 needed to understand. For instance, when a lady of any 26 00:01:39.920 --> 00:01:42.840 prominence comes to one of our cities and takes up 27 00:01:42.840 --> 00:01:46.280 her residence, all the ladies of her grade favor her 28 00:01:46.359 --> 00:01:49.680 in turn, with an initial call, giving their cards to 29 00:01:49.719 --> 00:01:53.040 the servant at the door by way of introduction. They 30 00:01:53.079 --> 00:01:57.200 come singly, sometimes sometimes in couples, and all was in 31 00:01:57.280 --> 00:02:00.799 elaborate full dress. They talked two manutes and a quarter 32 00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:04.200 and then go. If the lady receiving the call desires 33 00:02:04.200 --> 00:02:07.519 a further acquaintance, she must return the visit within two weeks. 34 00:02:07.879 --> 00:02:11.639 To neglect it beyond that time means let the matter drop. 35 00:02:12.319 --> 00:02:14.759 But if she does return the visit within two weeks, 36 00:02:14.840 --> 00:02:17.960 it then becomes the other party's privileged to continue the 37 00:02:17.960 --> 00:02:22.199 acquaintance or drop it. She signifies her willingness to continue 38 00:02:22.240 --> 00:02:26.400 it by calling again any time within twelve months after that, 39 00:02:26.560 --> 00:02:29.280 If the parties go on calling upon each other once 40 00:02:29.360 --> 00:02:33.000 a year in our large cities. That is sufficient, and 41 00:02:33.080 --> 00:02:37.319 the acquaintanceship holds good. The thing goes along smoothly. Now 42 00:02:37.680 --> 00:02:41.439 the annual visits are made and returned with peaceful regularity 43 00:02:41.599 --> 00:02:45.479 and bland satisfaction. Although it is not necessary that the 44 00:02:45.520 --> 00:02:48.520 two ladies shall actually see each other oftener than once 45 00:02:48.599 --> 00:02:52.759 every few years, their cards preserve the intimacy and keep 46 00:02:52.840 --> 00:02:57.919 the acquaintanceship intact. For instance, missus A pays her annual visit, 47 00:02:58.319 --> 00:03:01.080 sits in her carriage, and sends in her card with 48 00:03:01.159 --> 00:03:05.159 the lower right hand corner turned down, which signifies that 49 00:03:05.199 --> 00:03:09.080 she has called in person. Missus B sends down a 50 00:03:09.120 --> 00:03:12.759 word that she is engaged or wishes to be excused, 51 00:03:13.319 --> 00:03:16.360 or if she is a parvenu and low bred, she 52 00:03:16.439 --> 00:03:20.240 perhaps sends word that she is not at home. Very good, 53 00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:24.840 Missus A drives on happy and content. If Missus a's 54 00:03:25.000 --> 00:03:27.800 daughter marries or a child is born to the family, 55 00:03:28.199 --> 00:03:31.199 Missus B calls, sends in her card with the upper 56 00:03:31.319 --> 00:03:35.400 left hand corner turned down, and then goes along about 57 00:03:35.439 --> 00:03:41.000 her affairs. For that inverted corner means congratulations. If Missus 58 00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:45.080 b's husband falls downstairs and breaks his neck, Missus A calls, 59 00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:48.639 leaves her card with the upper right hand corner turned down, 60 00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:52.840 and then takes her departure. This corner means condolence. It 61 00:03:52.919 --> 00:03:55.960 is very necessary to get the corners right, else one 62 00:03:55.960 --> 00:03:59.280 may unintentionally condole with a friend on a wedding or 63 00:03:59.319 --> 00:04:03.199 congratulate her upon a funeral. If either lady is about 64 00:04:03.199 --> 00:04:05.560 to leave the city, she goes to the other's house 65 00:04:05.599 --> 00:04:09.360 and leaves her card with P P C engraved under 66 00:04:09.400 --> 00:04:14.479 the name, which signifies pay parting call. But enough of etiquette. 67 00:04:14.800 --> 00:04:18.040 Laura was early instructed in the mysteries of society life 68 00:04:18.079 --> 00:04:22.879 by a competent mentor, and thus was preserved from troublesome mistakes. 69 00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:26.879 The first fashionable call she received from a member of 70 00:04:26.920 --> 00:04:30.720 the ancient nobility. Otherwise the antiques was of a pattern 71 00:04:30.800 --> 00:04:34.560 with all she received from that limb of the aristocracy afterward. 72 00:04:35.199 --> 00:04:39.160 This call was paid by Missus Major General fulk Fulkerson 73 00:04:39.399 --> 00:04:42.759 and daughter. They drove up at one in the afternoon 74 00:04:42.800 --> 00:04:45.800 in a rather antiquated vehicle with a faded coat of 75 00:04:45.920 --> 00:04:50.120 arms on the panels, an aged white wooled Negro coachman 76 00:04:50.199 --> 00:04:53.160 on the box, and a younger darky beside him. The 77 00:04:53.160 --> 00:04:56.759 footmen Both of these servants were dressed in dull brown 78 00:04:56.879 --> 00:05:01.240 livery that had seen considerable service. The ladies entered the 79 00:05:01.319 --> 00:05:04.279 drawing room in full character, that is to say, with 80 00:05:04.360 --> 00:05:07.800 Elizabethan's stateliness on the part of the dowager, and an 81 00:05:07.800 --> 00:05:10.199 easy grace and dignity on the part of the young 82 00:05:10.279 --> 00:05:13.800 lady that had a nameless something about it that suggested 83 00:05:13.879 --> 00:05:18.600 conscious superiority. The dresses of both ladies were exceedingly rich 84 00:05:18.920 --> 00:05:22.720 as to material, but as notably modest as to color 85 00:05:22.759 --> 00:05:27.319 and ornament. All parties having seated themselves, the dowager delivered 86 00:05:27.319 --> 00:05:30.439 herself of a remark that was not unusual in its form, 87 00:05:30.920 --> 00:05:33.560 and yet it came from her lips with the impressiveness 88 00:05:33.560 --> 00:05:39.519 of scripture. The weather has been unpropitious of late, Miss Hawkins, 89 00:05:40.319 --> 00:05:44.199 it has, indeed, said Laura. The climate seems to be variable. 90 00:05:45.240 --> 00:05:48.800 It is its nature of old. Here, said the daughter, 91 00:05:49.040 --> 00:05:52.839 stating it apparently as a fact only, and by her manner, 92 00:05:53.079 --> 00:05:56.680 waving aside all personal responsibility on account of it. Is 93 00:05:56.720 --> 00:06:01.920 it not so, Mamma, Quite so, my child, You like winter, 94 00:06:02.360 --> 00:06:05.240 Miss Hawkins, she said, like, as if she had an 95 00:06:05.279 --> 00:06:09.839 idea that its dictionary meaning was approve of not as 96 00:06:09.839 --> 00:06:13.040 well as summer, though I think all seasons have their charms. 97 00:06:13.639 --> 00:06:17.800 It is a very just remark. The General held similar views. 98 00:06:18.319 --> 00:06:22.959 He considered snow in winter proper, sultriness in summer legitimate, 99 00:06:23.399 --> 00:06:26.959 frosts in the autumn the same, and rains in spring 100 00:06:27.199 --> 00:06:31.040 not objectionable. He was not an exacting man, and I 101 00:06:31.079 --> 00:06:35.480 call to mine now that he always admired thunder. You remember, child, 102 00:06:35.480 --> 00:06:39.839 Your father always admired thunder. He adored it, No doubt 103 00:06:39.839 --> 00:06:43.519 it reminded him of battle, said Laurel. Yes, I think 104 00:06:43.639 --> 00:06:46.680 perhaps it did. He had a great respect for nature. 105 00:06:47.120 --> 00:06:49.920 He often said there was something striking about the ocean. 106 00:06:50.480 --> 00:06:54.519 You remember his saying that, daughter, Yes often, mother, I 107 00:06:54.639 --> 00:06:58.560 remember it very well. And hurricanes. He took a great 108 00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:05.759 interest in hurricanes, and animals, dogs, especially hunting dogs, also comets. 109 00:07:06.079 --> 00:07:09.079 I think we all have our predilections. I think it 110 00:07:09.199 --> 00:07:13.439 is this that gives variety to our tastes. Laura coincided 111 00:07:13.480 --> 00:07:17.000 with this view. Do you find it hard and lonely 112 00:07:17.120 --> 00:07:19.759 to be so far from your home and friends, Miss Hawkins? 113 00:07:20.839 --> 00:07:24.160 I do find it depressing sometimes, but then there is 114 00:07:24.199 --> 00:07:27.800 so much about me here that is novel and interesting 115 00:07:28.079 --> 00:07:30.959 that my days are made up more of sunshine than shadow. 116 00:07:32.160 --> 00:07:35.199 Washington is not a dull city in the season, said 117 00:07:35.199 --> 00:07:38.240 the young lady. We have some very good society, indeed, 118 00:07:38.600 --> 00:07:40.959 and one need not be at a loss for means 119 00:07:40.959 --> 00:07:44.800 to pass the time pleasantly. Are you fond of watering places, 120 00:07:44.839 --> 00:07:48.360 Miss Hawkins, I have really had no experience of them, 121 00:07:48.839 --> 00:07:51.160 but I have always felt a strong desire to see 122 00:07:51.199 --> 00:07:55.879 something of fashionable watering place life. We of Washington are 123 00:07:56.040 --> 00:07:59.959 unfortunately situated in that respect, said the dowager. It is 124 00:08:00.279 --> 00:08:04.079 a tedious distance to Newport, but there is no help 125 00:08:04.120 --> 00:08:08.279 for it. Laura said to herself Long Branch and Cape 126 00:08:08.319 --> 00:08:11.839 may are nearer than Newport. Doubtless these places are low. 127 00:08:12.480 --> 00:08:15.079 I'll feel my way a little and see. Then she 128 00:08:15.160 --> 00:08:18.959 said aloud, why I thought that Long Branch there was 129 00:08:19.000 --> 00:08:21.279 no need to feel any further. There was that in 130 00:08:21.439 --> 00:08:25.120 both faces before her, which made that truth apparent. The 131 00:08:25.160 --> 00:08:28.879 dowager said, nobody goes there, Miss Hawkins, at least only 132 00:08:29.120 --> 00:08:33.799 persons of no position in society, and the president. She 133 00:08:33.879 --> 00:08:38.039 added that with tranquility, Newport is damp and cold and 134 00:08:38.200 --> 00:08:41.840 windy and excessively disagreeable, said the daughter, but it is 135 00:08:42.159 --> 00:08:46.600 very select one cannot be fastidious about minor matters when 136 00:08:46.639 --> 00:08:50.200 one has no choice. The visit had spun out nearly 137 00:08:50.240 --> 00:08:54.879 three minutes. Now Both ladies rose with grave dignity, conferred 138 00:08:54.919 --> 00:08:58.720 upon Laura a formal invitation to call, and then retired 139 00:08:58.759 --> 00:09:02.000 from the conference. Laura remained in the drawing room and 140 00:09:02.120 --> 00:09:04.679 left them to pilot themselves out of the house, an 141 00:09:04.679 --> 00:09:07.679 inhospitable thing, it seemed to her. But then she was 142 00:09:07.759 --> 00:09:12.159 following her instructions. She stood steeped in reverie awhile, and 143 00:09:12.200 --> 00:09:16.120 then she said, I think I could always enjoy icebergs 144 00:09:16.679 --> 00:09:20.320 as scenery, but not as company. Still, she knew these 145 00:09:20.320 --> 00:09:23.639 two people by reputation, and was aware that they were 146 00:09:23.679 --> 00:09:26.600 not icebergs when they were in their own waters and 147 00:09:26.639 --> 00:09:30.360 amid their legitimate surroundings. But on the contrary, were people 148 00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:34.120 to be respected for their stainless characters and esteemed for 149 00:09:34.200 --> 00:09:38.519 their social virtues and their benevolent impulses. She thought it 150 00:09:38.559 --> 00:09:40.720 a pity that they had to be such changed and 151 00:09:40.840 --> 00:09:45.200 dreary creatures on occasions of state. The first call Laura 152 00:09:45.240 --> 00:09:49.519 received from the other extremity of the Washington aristocracy followed 153 00:09:49.559 --> 00:09:51.840 close upon the heels of the one we have just 154 00:09:51.919 --> 00:09:55.799 been describing. The callers this time were the Honorable Missus 155 00:09:55.799 --> 00:10:01.039 Oliver Higgins, the honorable Missus patric Horay pronounced oh Relay, 156 00:10:01.679 --> 00:10:08.840 Miss Bridget pronounced Briget oh Relay, Missus Peter Gashley, Miss Gashly, 157 00:10:09.240 --> 00:10:13.039 and Miss Emmeline Gashley. The three carriages arrived at the 158 00:10:13.039 --> 00:10:17.279 same moment from different directions. They were new and wonderfully shiny, 159 00:10:17.559 --> 00:10:20.559 and the brasses on the harness were highly polished and 160 00:10:20.600 --> 00:10:24.879 bore complicated monograms. There were showy coats of arms too, 161 00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:28.919 with Latin mottoes. The coachmen and footmen were clad in 162 00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:32.519 bright new livery of striking colors, and they had black 163 00:10:32.600 --> 00:10:36.320 rosettes with shaving brushes projecting above them on the sides 164 00:10:36.360 --> 00:10:39.919 of their stove pipe hats. When the visitors swept into 165 00:10:39.960 --> 00:10:42.799 the drawing room, they filled the place with a suffocating 166 00:10:42.840 --> 00:10:47.320 sweetness procured at the perfumers. Their costumes, as to architecture, 167 00:10:47.600 --> 00:10:52.559 were the latest fashion intensified. They were rainbow hued. They 168 00:10:52.600 --> 00:10:56.039 were hung with jewels, chiefly diamonds. It would have been 169 00:10:56.080 --> 00:10:58.240 plain to any eye that it had cost something to 170 00:10:58.320 --> 00:11:02.159 upholster these women. The honorable Missus Oliver Higgins was the 171 00:11:02.200 --> 00:11:05.639 wife of a delegate from a distant territory, a gentleman 172 00:11:05.679 --> 00:11:08.919 who had kept the principal saloon and sold the best 173 00:11:08.960 --> 00:11:12.120 whisky in the principal village in his wilderness, and so 174 00:11:12.279 --> 00:11:15.120 of course was recognized as the first man of his 175 00:11:15.240 --> 00:11:19.279 commonwealth and its fittest representative. He was a man of 176 00:11:19.320 --> 00:11:23.080 paramount influence at home, for he was public spirited. He 177 00:11:23.159 --> 00:11:25.879 was chief of the fire department. He had an admirable 178 00:11:25.879 --> 00:11:30.440 command of profane language, and had killed several parties. His 179 00:11:30.559 --> 00:11:35.000 shirt fronts were always immaculate, his boots daintily polished, and 180 00:11:35.120 --> 00:11:37.879 no man could lift a foot and fire a dead 181 00:11:37.919 --> 00:11:40.120 shot of a stray speck of dirt on it with 182 00:11:40.240 --> 00:11:44.200 a white handkerchief with a finer grace than he. His 183 00:11:44.320 --> 00:11:47.679 watch chain weighed a pound, The gold in his finger 184 00:11:47.759 --> 00:11:51.519 ring was worth forty five dollars. He wore a diamond 185 00:11:51.559 --> 00:11:55.000 cluster pin, and he parted his hair behind. He had 186 00:11:55.039 --> 00:11:58.679 always been regarded as the most elegant gentleman in his territory, 187 00:11:58.919 --> 00:12:02.080 and it was conceded by all that no man thereabouts 188 00:12:02.200 --> 00:12:04.720 was anywhere near his equal. In the telling of an 189 00:12:04.759 --> 00:12:10.159 obscene story, except the venerable, white haired governor himself. The 190 00:12:10.200 --> 00:12:12.919 Honorable Higgins had not come to serve his country in 191 00:12:13.120 --> 00:12:16.759 Washington for nothing. The appropriation which he had engineered through 192 00:12:16.799 --> 00:12:20.080 Congress for the maintenance of the Indians in his territory 193 00:12:20.440 --> 00:12:22.960 would have made all those savages rich if it had 194 00:12:22.960 --> 00:12:26.240 ever got to them. The Honorable Missus Higgins was a 195 00:12:26.279 --> 00:12:29.919 picturesque woman and a fluent talker, and she held a 196 00:12:29.960 --> 00:12:33.879 tolerably high station among the parvenu. Her English was fair 197 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:37.480 enough as a general thing, though being of New York origin, 198 00:12:37.600 --> 00:12:40.759 she had the fashion peculiar to many natives of that city, 199 00:12:41.120 --> 00:12:44.759 of pronouncing saw and law as if they were spelt 200 00:12:44.960 --> 00:12:49.399 sore and lore. Petroleum was the agent that had suddenly 201 00:12:49.440 --> 00:12:53.320 transformed the Gashlys from modest, hard working country village folk 202 00:12:53.720 --> 00:12:58.240 into loud aristocrats and ornaments of the city. The Honorable 203 00:12:58.279 --> 00:13:02.320 Patriarch Oralay was a a wealthy Frenchman from Cork, not 204 00:13:02.480 --> 00:13:04.919 that he was wealthy when he first came from Cork, 205 00:13:05.480 --> 00:13:08.440 but just the reverse. When he first landed in New 206 00:13:08.519 --> 00:13:11.279 York with his wife, he had only halted at Castle 207 00:13:11.320 --> 00:13:14.120 Garden for a few minutes to receive and exhibit papers 208 00:13:14.159 --> 00:13:17.000 showing that he had resided in this country two years, 209 00:13:17.559 --> 00:13:20.159 and then he voted the Democratic ticket and went uptown 210 00:13:20.240 --> 00:13:23.320 to hunt a house. He found one, and then went 211 00:13:23.360 --> 00:13:26.600 to work as assistant to an architect and builder, carrying 212 00:13:26.679 --> 00:13:31.759 a hod all day and studying politics evenings, industry, and economy. 213 00:13:31.840 --> 00:13:34.399 Soon enabled him to start a low rum shop in 214 00:13:34.480 --> 00:13:38.399 a foul locality, and this gave him political influence in 215 00:13:38.480 --> 00:13:41.080 our country. It is always our first care to see 216 00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:43.720 that our people have the opportunity of voting for their 217 00:13:43.799 --> 00:13:47.039 choice of men to represent and govern them. We do 218 00:13:47.159 --> 00:13:50.799 not permit our great officials to appoint the little officials. 219 00:13:51.360 --> 00:13:54.000 We prefer to have so tremendous a power as that 220 00:13:54.159 --> 00:13:57.759 in our own hands. We hold it safest to elect 221 00:13:57.799 --> 00:14:02.039 our judges and everybody else in our cities. The ward 222 00:14:02.080 --> 00:14:06.440 meetings elect delegates to the nominating conventions and instruct them 223 00:14:06.519 --> 00:14:10.080 whom to nominate. The Publicans and their retainers rule the 224 00:14:10.120 --> 00:14:13.519 ward meetings for everybody else hates the worry of politics 225 00:14:13.519 --> 00:14:16.639 and stays at home. The delegates from the ward meetings 226 00:14:16.759 --> 00:14:20.279 organize as a nominating convention and make up a list 227 00:14:20.320 --> 00:14:24.519 of candidates, one convention offering a Democratic and another a 228 00:14:24.600 --> 00:14:28.559 Republican list of incorruptibles, and then the great meek public 229 00:14:28.639 --> 00:14:32.039 come forward at the proper time and make unhampered choice, 230 00:14:32.399 --> 00:14:34.879 and bless Heaven that they live in a free land 231 00:14:35.320 --> 00:14:40.279 where no form of despotism can ever intrude. Patrick O'Reilly, 232 00:14:40.519 --> 00:14:45.039 as his name then stood, created friends and influence very fast, 233 00:14:45.240 --> 00:14:47.840 for he was always on hand at the police courts 234 00:14:47.879 --> 00:14:51.320 to give straw bail for his customers, or establish an 235 00:14:51.320 --> 00:14:53.960 alibi for them in case they had been beating anybody 236 00:14:53.960 --> 00:14:57.960 to death on his premises. Consequently, he presently became a 237 00:14:58.000 --> 00:15:01.440 political leader and was elected to a petty office under 238 00:15:01.480 --> 00:15:05.120 the city government. Out of a meager salary, he soon 239 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:08.320 saved money enough to open quite a stylish liquor saloon 240 00:15:08.399 --> 00:15:12.080 higher up town, with a faraoh bank attached, and plenty 241 00:15:12.080 --> 00:15:15.159 of capital to conduct it with. This gave him fame 242 00:15:15.279 --> 00:15:19.480 and great respectability. The position of Alderman was forced upon him, 243 00:15:19.759 --> 00:15:22.039 and it was just the same as presenting him a 244 00:15:22.120 --> 00:15:26.039 gold mine. He had fine horses and carriages now and 245 00:15:26.200 --> 00:15:29.639 closed up his whiskey mill. By and by he became 246 00:15:29.679 --> 00:15:32.960 a large contractor for city work, and was a bosom 247 00:15:33.000 --> 00:15:36.879 friend of the great and good William M Weade himself, 248 00:15:37.200 --> 00:15:40.080 who had stolen twenty million, six hundred thousand dollars from 249 00:15:40.120 --> 00:15:43.399 the city, and was a man so envied, so honoured, 250 00:15:43.799 --> 00:15:46.679 so adored, indeed, that when the sheriff went to his 251 00:15:46.759 --> 00:15:49.960 office to arrest him as a felon, that sheriff blushed 252 00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:53.320 and apologised. And one of the illustrated papers made a 253 00:15:53.360 --> 00:15:55.799 picture of the scene and spoke of the matter in 254 00:15:55.840 --> 00:15:58.440 such a way as to show that the editor regretted 255 00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:01.080 that the offense of an arrest had been offered to 256 00:16:01.200 --> 00:16:06.000 so exalted a personage as mister Weed. Mister O'Reilly furnished 257 00:16:06.039 --> 00:16:09.399 shingle nails to the new court house at three thousand 258 00:16:09.480 --> 00:16:13.960 dollars a keg and eighteen gross of sixty cent thermometers 259 00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:17.600 at fifteen hundred dollars a dozen. The Controller and the 260 00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:20.480 Board of Audit passed the bills, and a mayor who 261 00:16:20.559 --> 00:16:24.159 was simply ignorant but not criminal, signed them. When they 262 00:16:24.159 --> 00:16:28.120 were paid, mister O'Reilly's admirers gave him a solitaire diamond 263 00:16:28.159 --> 00:16:30.919 pin of the size of a Filbert in imitation of 264 00:16:30.960 --> 00:16:34.799 the liberality of mister Weed's friends. And then mister O'Reilly 265 00:16:35.039 --> 00:16:38.840 retired from active service and amused himself with buying real 266 00:16:39.000 --> 00:16:42.799 estate at enormous figures and holding it in other people's names. 267 00:16:43.519 --> 00:16:46.480 By and by, the newspapers came out with exposures and 268 00:16:46.559 --> 00:16:50.799 called Weed and O'Reilly thieves. Whereupon the people rose as 269 00:16:50.840 --> 00:16:54.720 one man, voting repeatedly, and elected the two gentlemen to 270 00:16:54.759 --> 00:16:59.240 their proper theater of action, the New York Legislature. The 271 00:16:59.279 --> 00:17:02.720 newspapers clamored, and the courts proceeded to try the new 272 00:17:02.799 --> 00:17:08.160 legislators for their small irregularities. Our admirable jury system enabled 273 00:17:08.200 --> 00:17:11.480 the persecuted ex officials to secure a jury of nine 274 00:17:11.519 --> 00:17:16.039 gentlemen from a neighboring asylum and three graduates from Sing Singh. 275 00:17:16.319 --> 00:17:21.079 And presently they walked forth with characters vindicated. The legislature 276 00:17:21.119 --> 00:17:24.039 was called upon to spew them forth, a thing which 277 00:17:24.079 --> 00:17:27.640 the legislature declined to do. It was like asking children 278 00:17:27.640 --> 00:17:31.400 to repudiate their own father. It was a legislature of 279 00:17:31.440 --> 00:17:36.319 the modern pattern. Being now wealthy and distinguished, mister O'Reilly 280 00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:40.359 still bearing the legislative honorable attached to his name. For 281 00:17:40.480 --> 00:17:43.480 titles never die in America, although we do take a 282 00:17:43.559 --> 00:17:47.920 republican pride in poking fun at such trifles sailed for 283 00:17:48.039 --> 00:17:51.799 Europe with his family. They traveled all about turning their 284 00:17:51.839 --> 00:17:55.039 noses up at everything, and not finding it a difficult 285 00:17:55.079 --> 00:17:58.319 thing to do either, because nature had originally given those 286 00:17:58.359 --> 00:18:02.119 features a cast in that direction. And finally they established 287 00:18:02.119 --> 00:18:06.359 themselves in Paris, that paradise of Americans of their sort. 288 00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:10.200 They stayed there two years and learned to speak English 289 00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:13.720 with a foreign accent, not that it hadn't always had 290 00:18:13.720 --> 00:18:16.960 a foreign accent, which was indeed the case, but now 291 00:18:17.000 --> 00:18:20.240 the nature of it was changed. Finally they returned home 292 00:18:20.279 --> 00:18:25.160 and became ultra fashionables. They landed here as the honorable 293 00:18:25.319 --> 00:18:30.359 Patriarch Aurolay and family, and so are known unto this day. 294 00:18:31.279 --> 00:18:34.880 Laura provided seats for her visitors, and they immediately launched 295 00:18:34.880 --> 00:18:39.240 forth into a breezy, sparkling conversation with that easy confidence 296 00:18:39.599 --> 00:18:42.640 which is to be found only among persons accustomed to 297 00:18:42.720 --> 00:18:46.799 high life. I've been intending to call sooner, miss Hawkins, 298 00:18:47.200 --> 00:18:51.640 said the honorable Missus Orolay, But the weather's been so horrid. 299 00:18:51.880 --> 00:18:55.839 How do you like Washington? Laura liked it very well. Indeed, 300 00:18:56.519 --> 00:19:01.200 Missus Gashley, is it your first visit? Yes, it was 301 00:19:01.279 --> 00:19:08.759 her first all. Indeed, Missus Orlay I'm afraid you'll despise 302 00:19:08.799 --> 00:19:12.079 the weather, Miss Hawkins. It's perfectly awful, it always is. 303 00:19:12.559 --> 00:19:15.680 I tell mister Orlay, I can't and I won't put 304 00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:18.440 up with any such a climate. If we were obliged 305 00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:21.119 to do it, I wouldn't mind. But we are not 306 00:19:21.279 --> 00:19:23.559 obliged to, and so I don't see the use of it. 307 00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:28.319 Sometimes it's real pitiful the way the children pine for Peris. 308 00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:32.079 Don't look so sad. Brigette, my chare poor child. She 309 00:19:32.200 --> 00:19:36.799 can't hear Paris mentioned without getting the blues, missus Gashley, Well, 310 00:19:36.839 --> 00:19:40.359 I should think so, missus Orlay. A body lives in Paris, 311 00:19:40.559 --> 00:19:44.599 but a body only stays here. I don't on Paris. 312 00:19:45.079 --> 00:19:48.279 I'd rather scrimple on ten thousand dollars a year there 313 00:19:48.480 --> 00:19:51.799 than suffer and worry here on a real decent income. 314 00:19:52.599 --> 00:19:56.000 Miss Gashley, Well, then I wish you'd take us back. Mother. 315 00:19:56.640 --> 00:19:59.640 I'm sure I hate this stupid country enough, even if 316 00:19:59.640 --> 00:20:03.200 it is our our dear native land. Miss Emmeline Ghashly, 317 00:20:03.799 --> 00:20:08.000 what and leave poor Johnny Peterson behind? An airy genial 318 00:20:08.119 --> 00:20:12.599 laugh applauded this, Sally. Miss Gashley, sister, I should think 319 00:20:12.599 --> 00:20:16.759 you'd be ashamed of yourself, Miss Emmeline. Oh, you needn't 320 00:20:16.799 --> 00:20:19.559 ruffle your feathers. So I was only joking. He don't 321 00:20:19.599 --> 00:20:22.400 mean anything by coming to the house every evening, only 322 00:20:22.440 --> 00:20:26.039 comes to see mother. Of course, that's all general laughter, 323 00:20:26.799 --> 00:20:31.319 Miss g prettily confused, Emmeline. How can you, missus g 324 00:20:32.079 --> 00:20:35.640 let your sister alone, Emmeline, I never saw such a tease, 325 00:20:36.400 --> 00:20:41.000 missus Overlay. What lovely corrals you have, Miss Hawkins, Just 326 00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:44.079 look at them, bridget Dear, I have a great passion 327 00:20:44.119 --> 00:20:48.200 for corrals. It's a pity they're getting a little common. 328 00:20:48.680 --> 00:20:51.839 I have some elegant ones, not as elegant as yours, though, 329 00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:56.039 but of course I don't wear them now, Laura, I 330 00:20:56.119 --> 00:20:58.839 suppose they are rather common. But still I have a 331 00:20:58.839 --> 00:21:01.480 great affection for these because they were given to me 332 00:21:01.640 --> 00:21:04.599 by a dear old friend of our family named Murphy. 333 00:21:05.240 --> 00:21:08.839 He was a very charming man, but very eccentric. He 334 00:21:08.960 --> 00:21:12.359 always supposed he was an irishman. But after he got rich, 335 00:21:12.640 --> 00:21:15.359 he went abroad for a year or two, and when 336 00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:18.039 he came back, you would have been amused to see 337 00:21:18.079 --> 00:21:21.200 how interested he was in a potato. He asked what 338 00:21:21.279 --> 00:21:25.039 it was. Now you know that when providence shapes a mouth, 339 00:21:25.160 --> 00:21:28.720 especially for the accommodation of a potato, you can detect 340 00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:31.480 that fact at a glance when that mouth is in repose. 341 00:21:32.119 --> 00:21:35.359 Foreign travel can never remove that sign. But he was 342 00:21:35.400 --> 00:21:38.680 a very delightful gentleman, and his little foible did not 343 00:21:38.799 --> 00:21:42.160 hurt him at all. We all have our shams. I 344 00:21:42.200 --> 00:21:45.960 suppose there is a sham somewhere about every individual. If 345 00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:48.920 we could manage to ferret it out, I would so 346 00:21:49.160 --> 00:21:52.240 like to go to France. I suppose our society here 347 00:21:52.440 --> 00:21:56.880 compares very favorably with French society, does it, not, missus overlay, 348 00:21:57.759 --> 00:22:02.640 missus O, Not by any means, Miss Hawkins. French society 349 00:22:02.720 --> 00:22:07.480 is much more elegant, much more so, Laura, I am 350 00:22:07.559 --> 00:22:10.960 sorry to hear that. I suppose ours has deteriorated of 351 00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:15.079 late missus O very much. Indeed, there are people in 352 00:22:15.160 --> 00:22:17.839 society here that have really no more money to live 353 00:22:17.880 --> 00:22:20.920 on than what some of us pay for servant hire. 354 00:22:21.599 --> 00:22:24.200 Still I won't say, but what some of them are 355 00:22:24.359 --> 00:22:29.559 very good people and respectable too, Laura. The old families 356 00:22:29.640 --> 00:22:32.319 seem to be holding themselves aloof from what I hear, 357 00:22:32.839 --> 00:22:36.640 I suppose you seldom meet in society now the people 358 00:22:36.680 --> 00:22:39.960 you used to be familiar with twelve or fifteen years ago, 359 00:22:40.599 --> 00:22:45.680 missus O, Oh no, hardly. Ever, mister O'Reilly kept his 360 00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:49.079 first rum mill and protected his customers from the law 361 00:22:49.160 --> 00:22:52.200 in those days. And this turn of the conversation was 362 00:22:52.279 --> 00:22:57.759 rather uncomfortable to Madame than otherwise, honorable missus Higgins is 363 00:22:57.839 --> 00:23:02.720 francois health good now, miss Lay missus O, thankful for 364 00:23:02.799 --> 00:23:06.839 the intervention. Not very A body couldn't expect it. He 365 00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:11.000 was always delicate, especially his lungs, and this odious climate 366 00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:15.599 tells on him strong now after Parie, which is so mild, 367 00:23:16.480 --> 00:23:21.200 missus h I should think so, husband says, Percy'll die 368 00:23:21.319 --> 00:23:23.599 if he don't have a change, and so I'm going 369 00:23:23.640 --> 00:23:26.160 to swap round a little and see what can be done. 370 00:23:26.599 --> 00:23:28.680 I saw a lady from Florida last week, and she 371 00:23:28.799 --> 00:23:32.640 recommended Key West. I told her Percy couldn't abide winds 372 00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:36.759 as he was threatened with a pulmonary affection. And then 373 00:23:36.839 --> 00:23:40.640 she said, try Saint Augustine. It's an awful distance ten 374 00:23:40.759 --> 00:23:44.720 or twelve hundred mile, they say. But then in a 375 00:23:44.759 --> 00:23:47.279 case of this kind, a body can't stand back for trouble, 376 00:23:47.319 --> 00:23:51.319 you know, missus O. No, of course that's off. If 377 00:23:51.319 --> 00:23:53.880 Frossois don't get better soon, we've got to look out 378 00:23:53.880 --> 00:23:56.920 for some other place or else Europe. We've thought some 379 00:23:57.079 --> 00:23:59.759 of the hot springs, but I don't know. It's a 380 00:23:59.759 --> 00:24:03.279 great responsibility and a body wants to go cautious. Is 381 00:24:03.359 --> 00:24:08.200 Hildebrand about again, Missus Gashley, Missus g. Yes, but that's 382 00:24:08.240 --> 00:24:11.599 about all. It was indigestion, you know, and it looks 383 00:24:11.640 --> 00:24:14.559 as if it was chronic, and you know I do 384 00:24:14.680 --> 00:24:18.160 dread dyspepsia. We've all been worried a good deal about him. 385 00:24:18.599 --> 00:24:22.119 The doctor recommended baked apple and spoiled meat, and I 386 00:24:22.119 --> 00:24:24.759 think it'd done him good. It's about the only thing 387 00:24:24.799 --> 00:24:28.799 that will stay on his stomach. Nowadays we have doctor Shovel. Now, 388 00:24:28.839 --> 00:24:33.880 who's your doctor, Missus Higgins? Missus h Well, we had 389 00:24:33.960 --> 00:24:37.480 Doctor Spooner a good while, but he runs so much 390 00:24:37.519 --> 00:24:41.079 to emetics, which I think are weakening, that we changed 391 00:24:41.119 --> 00:24:44.359 off and took doctor Leathers. We like him very much. 392 00:24:44.799 --> 00:24:48.599 He has a fine European reputation too. The first thing 393 00:24:48.680 --> 00:24:51.559 he suggested for Percy was to have him taken out 394 00:24:51.559 --> 00:24:54.680 in the back yard for an airing. Every afternoon with 395 00:24:54.839 --> 00:24:58.960 nothing at all on, missus O and missus G what 396 00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:03.160 missus h as true as I'm sitting here, and it 397 00:25:03.240 --> 00:25:06.039 actually helped him for two or three days, it did, indeed, 398 00:25:06.640 --> 00:25:08.799 But after that the doctor said it seemed to be 399 00:25:08.920 --> 00:25:11.960 too severe, and so he has fell back on hot 400 00:25:11.960 --> 00:25:15.000 foot baths at night and cold showers in the morning. 401 00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:17.759