WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:02.080 Hi everyone, and welcome back to their podcast episode. My 2 00:00:02.160 --> 00:00:04.440 name is Lisha Gogin, the host of The Globe Secret podcast, 3 00:00:04.599 --> 00:00:06.799 where I help you expand your mind and become more 4 00:00:06.839 --> 00:00:08.839 self aware that you can glow up into the best 5 00:00:08.880 --> 00:00:13.720 version of yourself. Hello, and Happy Sunday. That intro kind 6 00:00:13.720 --> 00:00:15.480 of winded me a little bit. I don't know why 7 00:00:15.599 --> 00:00:18.719 I've been saying that intro for about two hundred and 8 00:00:18.760 --> 00:00:21.039 six episodes. It's actually crazy and I say it every 9 00:00:21.039 --> 00:00:23.839 single time. Anyways, how are we doing. I hope we 10 00:00:23.879 --> 00:00:26.239 are well. I'm so happy that we are here once 11 00:00:26.280 --> 00:00:28.440 again on a Sunday. Well, some of you guys are 12 00:00:28.480 --> 00:00:30.399 not listening to us Sunday, but some of you guys 13 00:00:30.559 --> 00:00:33.520 are religious in my episodes, and I love that. I 14 00:00:33.560 --> 00:00:35.560 love you guys. I love to see your comments. I 15 00:00:35.600 --> 00:00:38.119 love that we are here working on ourselves and we're 16 00:00:38.159 --> 00:00:43.000 doing it together. Now we need to talk about not 17 00:00:43.159 --> 00:00:45.000 being so hard on ourselves. 18 00:00:45.119 --> 00:00:47.799 This is birth from something I experienced this week. So 19 00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:48.479 I'm going to. 20 00:00:48.439 --> 00:00:51.159 Tie in a lot of my personal life experience like 21 00:00:51.240 --> 00:00:55.280 I usually do in this episode, and what to really 22 00:00:55.320 --> 00:00:58.880 do and the mindset shifts that I like to have 23 00:00:59.000 --> 00:01:02.280 when I find I am getting really hard on myself 24 00:01:02.320 --> 00:01:04.560 to the point where I feel like my self improvement 25 00:01:04.719 --> 00:01:07.159 is kind of becoming a little bit toxic, to the 26 00:01:07.200 --> 00:01:10.239 point where I'm catching myself feeling like I always need 27 00:01:10.280 --> 00:01:12.079 to be working on something and. 28 00:01:12.400 --> 00:01:13.400 Things aren't changing. 29 00:01:13.480 --> 00:01:14.920 And I would like to say that this is a 30 00:01:14.920 --> 00:01:17.519 pretty good segue from last week's episodes, where I talked 31 00:01:17.560 --> 00:01:20.040 about what to do when life feels unfinished and messy 32 00:01:20.120 --> 00:01:22.519 and you feel like you're really not getting. 33 00:01:22.200 --> 00:01:23.120 Where you need to be. 34 00:01:23.519 --> 00:01:27.920 So the other day, there was this influencer event that 35 00:01:28.079 --> 00:01:30.439 I really wanted to go to. I had had it 36 00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:33.480 in my calendar for a while and I wanted to 37 00:01:33.519 --> 00:01:36.799 go to it. Now as an influencer, I don't need 38 00:01:36.840 --> 00:01:39.920 to go to these events. I've actually really stopped going 39 00:01:39.959 --> 00:01:43.719 to many events being somebody who's done this full time. 40 00:01:43.920 --> 00:01:47.359 For going on to my third third year, I think 41 00:01:47.480 --> 00:01:53.280 I believe worth almost year in this space, because for one, 42 00:01:53.319 --> 00:01:56.400 I'm not like the biggest lifestyle influencer, right, so, like 43 00:01:56.920 --> 00:02:00.879 I'm not always super interested in going to events where 44 00:02:01.439 --> 00:02:05.040 it's all about the products, the hair, skin, everything, Like 45 00:02:05.319 --> 00:02:07.000 it's kind of cool to go here and there, And 46 00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:08.840 I did that the first year that I moved down 47 00:02:08.879 --> 00:02:10.960 to the city and I was this influencer and this that. 48 00:02:11.039 --> 00:02:13.680 I also have a YouTube channel, second channel by the way, 49 00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:16.319 if anyone is new and watching on the podcast channel 50 00:02:16.319 --> 00:02:18.960 on YouTube, So like, I talk a lot about health, 51 00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:21.120 wellness things like that, and on my Instagram as well. 52 00:02:21.120 --> 00:02:22.960 But anyways, I get invited to a lot of those events. 53 00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:24.439 A lot of them I don't go do because I'm 54 00:02:24.479 --> 00:02:27.000 honestly just busy with other things. Like I feel like 55 00:02:27.120 --> 00:02:30.479 what I am working on, but also just what I 56 00:02:30.520 --> 00:02:33.599 do for my work is just bigger than going to 57 00:02:33.680 --> 00:02:37.240 events sometimes and products and being a lifestyle influencer. Like 58 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:39.159 I love that kind of stuff, and I like the wellness, 59 00:02:39.199 --> 00:02:41.759 I like the light stuff, but I am a very 60 00:02:41.800 --> 00:02:44.439 deep person and the work that I am doing is 61 00:02:44.479 --> 00:02:47.599 going to be far beyond you know, just being like 62 00:02:47.639 --> 00:02:50.199 a get Ready with Me influencer. No shade to get 63 00:02:50.199 --> 00:02:52.159 Ready with Me influencers. Okay, we love you girls. 64 00:02:52.400 --> 00:02:55.439 I digress. Anyways, I wanted to go to this event. 65 00:02:55.560 --> 00:02:58.680 I haven't gone in a while, and leading up to 66 00:02:58.960 --> 00:03:01.719 that day, I was super down. And then the day 67 00:03:01.759 --> 00:03:05.800 came and it was a really gloomy day and. 68 00:03:05.759 --> 00:03:07.360 The weather was not good. It was like really cool. 69 00:03:07.439 --> 00:03:09.360 It was like one of the colder days after having 70 00:03:09.560 --> 00:03:14.159 really really hot days in the city. And the weather 71 00:03:14.280 --> 00:03:17.000 does absolutely affect my mood and I try not to 72 00:03:17.080 --> 00:03:18.800 let it. Especially in the summertime, I feel like it's 73 00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:19.919 different than in the winter time. 74 00:03:20.039 --> 00:03:20.960 I try not to let it. 75 00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:24.199 But it definitely was and I was in the midst 76 00:03:24.400 --> 00:03:28.719 of my luteal phase, like genuinely like not good weather 77 00:03:28.960 --> 00:03:32.039 and being in your luteal phase and just really having 78 00:03:32.080 --> 00:03:34.319 that low energy, maybe not having the best sleep, and 79 00:03:34.639 --> 00:03:36.599 you know, juggling a lot of things that are probably 80 00:03:36.599 --> 00:03:39.759 also more important than let's say, for this instance, the 81 00:03:39.879 --> 00:03:42.719 Influencer event, it was a kind of like a recipe 82 00:03:42.759 --> 00:03:45.039 for disaster. And I just felt like I am somebody 83 00:03:45.080 --> 00:03:48.159 who very much so goes with the flow of my body, 84 00:03:48.199 --> 00:03:50.680 the flow of nature and life and this that, and 85 00:03:50.719 --> 00:03:53.400 I have to adapt and whatever and really try to 86 00:03:53.479 --> 00:03:56.280 deconstruct this way of moving through life where it's like 87 00:03:56.319 --> 00:03:59.280 a lot of force energy, like forcing things that I 88 00:03:59.319 --> 00:04:03.280 don't feel like doing that aren't aligned. And on one hand, 89 00:04:03.319 --> 00:04:04.960 that's great and it's beautiful and it's really healthy and 90 00:04:04.960 --> 00:04:07.000 it's helped me healed a lot. The other hand is 91 00:04:07.039 --> 00:04:09.039 we still need to do the things that might, you know, 92 00:04:09.120 --> 00:04:13.840 be uncomfortable. But with this particular circumstance, I really did 93 00:04:13.840 --> 00:04:15.560 not need to go, and I did not need to 94 00:04:15.639 --> 00:04:18.399 also feel bad about myself for like not going. And 95 00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:22.120 there were actually pretty valid reasons as to why it 96 00:04:22.199 --> 00:04:25.639 wasn't the vibe of going, and it was like at 97 00:04:25.680 --> 00:04:28.560 this like outdoor like beach club vibe anyway, and it 98 00:04:28.680 --> 00:04:29.800 just wasn't really the day. 99 00:04:29.839 --> 00:04:31.040 It just wasn't not the day. 100 00:04:31.079 --> 00:04:34.040 And the whole day, I'm sitting there and I don't 101 00:04:34.040 --> 00:04:35.920 want to go, and I'm resisting it, and I'm going 102 00:04:35.959 --> 00:04:38.000 back and forth and I'm feeling shit, and I'm also 103 00:04:38.120 --> 00:04:41.439 just like mentally ruining my entire day because I'm not 104 00:04:41.480 --> 00:04:43.720 like making decision because I feel bad for not going, 105 00:04:43.759 --> 00:04:45.240 but then should I go in this that? And by 106 00:04:45.319 --> 00:04:47.240 the way, like nobody's like standing there like waiting for 107 00:04:47.240 --> 00:04:49.519 Alicia Googan to walk into the building. Okay, like I 108 00:04:49.560 --> 00:04:53.879 am not like this important influencer that needs to go 109 00:04:53.920 --> 00:04:56.639 to this thing. Like it's totally fine. Many people cancel, 110 00:04:57.000 --> 00:04:59.439 but that was kind of what was happening. 111 00:04:59.160 --> 00:04:59.680 In my head. 112 00:05:00.160 --> 00:05:03.160 And then I just realized I was getting so hard 113 00:05:03.199 --> 00:05:05.199 on myself because I knew I was probably gonna not go, 114 00:05:05.240 --> 00:05:07.279 but regardless, I was being so hard on myself for 115 00:05:07.399 --> 00:05:10.519 not showing up and like just being super ready to 116 00:05:10.560 --> 00:05:13.399 go do this event and do this thing. And I 117 00:05:13.399 --> 00:05:15.639 think there's room for kind of getting mad at yourself 118 00:05:15.639 --> 00:05:17.120 a little bit for being like girl, like you said 119 00:05:17.120 --> 00:05:18.560 you're gonna do this, you do it, you know, like 120 00:05:18.720 --> 00:05:23.560 holding yourself accountable. But it was this really not nice 121 00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:25.759 energy that I was holding to myself for not really 122 00:05:25.800 --> 00:05:29.639 any reason. And I had to come to Jesus moment 123 00:05:29.839 --> 00:05:32.680 again this week or that week, and I was like, 124 00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:36.639 you know what, like, for one, we're not going, okay, 125 00:05:36.639 --> 00:05:39.560 so like I decided I wasn't going, but also you're 126 00:05:39.600 --> 00:05:41.800 being like way too hard on yourself and it's not necessary. 127 00:05:41.879 --> 00:05:45.560 And three, I guess you have. 128 00:05:45.879 --> 00:05:50.240 Actually done so much this week that you are forgetting 129 00:05:50.279 --> 00:05:53.519 like you actually are moving through life right now, Alicia, 130 00:05:53.639 --> 00:05:57.600 Like you are somebody who does absolutely nothing with their 131 00:05:57.639 --> 00:06:01.120 lives and is just an absolute bum and doesn't do shit. 132 00:06:01.680 --> 00:06:04.319 And I had to sit there and really remind myself 133 00:06:04.319 --> 00:06:07.560 of the things that I accomplished that week, and I 134 00:06:07.680 --> 00:06:10.800 was like, whoa, Like if I'm not careful and if 135 00:06:10.839 --> 00:06:14.920 I don't check myself, my toxic self improvement side of me, 136 00:06:15.519 --> 00:06:17.279 that part of me that always wants to keep going, 137 00:06:17.439 --> 00:06:21.680 can really just aligned me and really take me into 138 00:06:21.720 --> 00:06:24.519 this dark energy that I do not even need to 139 00:06:24.560 --> 00:06:26.800 be in. I didn't even need to be in there. 140 00:06:26.920 --> 00:06:30.759 And the constant back and forth that I was spending 141 00:06:30.839 --> 00:06:35.920 time stressing about in my head that day made me 142 00:06:36.759 --> 00:06:39.879 so far away from the realization of the things that 143 00:06:39.920 --> 00:06:41.680 I did accomplish that week. And I'm just gonna list 144 00:06:41.759 --> 00:06:45.680 some things that I actually did. One was I got 145 00:06:45.720 --> 00:06:48.279 myself out of like a little mini feeling like a 146 00:06:48.319 --> 00:06:50.240 little bit of a rut on that Monday. And this 147 00:06:50.279 --> 00:06:52.639 is kind of more like the ludial phase dish of 148 00:06:52.680 --> 00:06:56.000 my life. Sometimes I can get like this pull myself out. 149 00:06:56.240 --> 00:06:57.439 I was so happy with how that. 150 00:06:57.480 --> 00:06:58.399 Day ended up being. 151 00:06:58.839 --> 00:07:04.560 And then the next I ended up from last week's episode, 152 00:07:04.600 --> 00:07:06.879 if you remember, I was having to do this thing 153 00:07:06.879 --> 00:07:08.839 that was uncomfortable for me. It was like filming in 154 00:07:08.839 --> 00:07:10.600 public for this brand deal thing that I was doing, 155 00:07:10.839 --> 00:07:12.680 and I was like changing my mindset about that. Anyways, 156 00:07:12.680 --> 00:07:13.720 I ended up doing that and it. 157 00:07:13.680 --> 00:07:15.800 Was such a great day, guys. It was so good. 158 00:07:16.199 --> 00:07:17.240 I felt so. 159 00:07:17.120 --> 00:07:20.279 Happy that I like pushed myself and I changed my 160 00:07:20.319 --> 00:07:23.439 mindset about things, and by the way, I made a 161 00:07:23.480 --> 00:07:25.759 really good connection with somebody who was on that team, 162 00:07:25.920 --> 00:07:29.199 and that led to other things. So that's like, you know, 163 00:07:29.360 --> 00:07:32.240 maybe like a side note of just how your energy 164 00:07:32.279 --> 00:07:34.759 and your mindset can change things and create more abundance 165 00:07:34.800 --> 00:07:35.040 for you. 166 00:07:35.120 --> 00:07:36.920 But that day went so well. 167 00:07:37.040 --> 00:07:39.800 I also recorded like extra stuff that day because I 168 00:07:39.839 --> 00:07:42.439 was feeling so aligned and so good. And then the 169 00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:44.959 next day after that, I was really really productive and 170 00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:48.120 on top of that, like I've been working on certain 171 00:07:48.160 --> 00:07:49.839 habits when it comes to health and wellness, Like I'm 172 00:07:49.879 --> 00:07:52.000 waking up around like six am, taking my dog for 173 00:07:52.040 --> 00:07:54.560 a walk, I'm training my dog, I'm doing all these things. 174 00:07:54.639 --> 00:07:57.639 I have my relationship, I'm seeing my friends, I'm doing 175 00:07:57.639 --> 00:08:00.160 all these things, mind you, like healing from all the 176 00:08:00.199 --> 00:08:02.439 shit that I went through in the winter time. Like 177 00:08:02.680 --> 00:08:07.800 I am doing literally so much and so many good things. 178 00:08:07.839 --> 00:08:12.160 But in that moment, I was so focused on I'm 179 00:08:12.240 --> 00:08:16.360 just not doing this thing, which really didn't even really matter, 180 00:08:16.920 --> 00:08:19.480 and I was forgetting all the great things that I 181 00:08:19.519 --> 00:08:22.279 was doing, and it was making me feel like absolute shit. 182 00:08:22.560 --> 00:08:24.959 And so for anyone who might be feeling right now 183 00:08:25.000 --> 00:08:27.680 that they are not doing enough, or you always feel 184 00:08:27.680 --> 00:08:29.759 like you're falling short, or you're hard on yourself a lot, 185 00:08:29.759 --> 00:08:33.759 Like you're really hard on yourself even though you've probably 186 00:08:33.840 --> 00:08:35.639 done a million things, you just start forgetting all of 187 00:08:35.639 --> 00:08:38.720 those things you're doing. Whatever it is, You need to 188 00:08:38.799 --> 00:08:43.159 understand that we as humans seriously underestimate how long it 189 00:08:43.200 --> 00:08:48.279 even takes to change a habit or do something successful, 190 00:08:48.320 --> 00:08:51.039 such as let's say, get your comfort zone of something 191 00:08:51.080 --> 00:08:52.919 that you've been saying that you want to do for 192 00:08:52.960 --> 00:08:54.960 so long, or even when it comes to that episode 193 00:08:54.960 --> 00:08:56.919 I was talking about when it comes to gardening aka 194 00:08:57.080 --> 00:09:00.879 like smoking marijuans, how much time that actually can take 195 00:09:01.000 --> 00:09:04.600 for you to really pull away from that habit and 196 00:09:04.720 --> 00:09:07.720 pull away from you being reliant on that thing. 197 00:09:07.840 --> 00:09:09.159 And you know, the. 198 00:09:09.159 --> 00:09:12.600 Moment that we have a quote unquote slip up in 199 00:09:12.639 --> 00:09:14.919 our brains, you know, when we don't feel like we're 200 00:09:14.919 --> 00:09:16.480 doing enough or we didn't do it. 201 00:09:16.440 --> 00:09:18.960 Perfectly, Like we get so hard on ourselves, as if it. 202 00:09:18.919 --> 00:09:22.679 Doesn't take so long to change these habits, Like it 203 00:09:22.759 --> 00:09:25.759 takes a while, and sometimes there's gonna be the messiness 204 00:09:25.799 --> 00:09:28.320 of life and things aren't gonna go perfectly. But also 205 00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:32.240 like you should be so proud of yourself for how 206 00:09:32.320 --> 00:09:35.679 far you've even come, because things take time, and we 207 00:09:35.879 --> 00:09:39.080 really just underestimate that time and we just undervalue it, 208 00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:41.480 and we do not give ourselves props. We do not 209 00:09:41.639 --> 00:09:46.200 give ourselves this congratulations of these small little steps that 210 00:09:46.240 --> 00:09:48.519 we make because we are so focused on the wrong things. 211 00:09:48.559 --> 00:09:50.320 And I want to talk about some of those things 212 00:09:50.360 --> 00:09:55.360 and you know, really get ourselves back to the core 213 00:09:55.679 --> 00:10:00.039 of who we are, which is whole and lovable, and 214 00:10:00.039 --> 00:10:02.679 and we don't need to be acting out of fear 215 00:10:02.960 --> 00:10:07.720 and stress to begin with. And how society and many 216 00:10:07.720 --> 00:10:09.559 things have been taught to us and put on us 217 00:10:09.720 --> 00:10:13.480 has made us forget and we operate out of fear 218 00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:15.879 and scarcity, and we don't need to be doing that. 219 00:10:15.960 --> 00:10:18.519 And that first thing is to really remember that you 220 00:10:18.840 --> 00:10:23.159 are not failing, you are actually healing. And when I 221 00:10:23.240 --> 00:10:26.559 mean healing could simply be like the day that I 222 00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:28.759 was stressing about the event and me not going and 223 00:10:28.799 --> 00:10:31.240 this that, and I was overwhelmed in this that, like 224 00:10:31.320 --> 00:10:35.120 I'm in the process of working on other things, right 225 00:10:35.200 --> 00:10:38.320 my habits and pushing myself out of comfort zone that 226 00:10:38.399 --> 00:10:41.480 week per se, all of those things were me healing, me, 227 00:10:41.639 --> 00:10:45.440 growing me, changing and evolving. I'm on this process of 228 00:10:45.519 --> 00:10:49.159 healing right now, so I should be very gentle. I 229 00:10:49.240 --> 00:10:53.120 should be more loving and a little bit more understanding. 230 00:10:53.200 --> 00:10:55.840 And when I don't have that one hundred percent capacity 231 00:10:55.879 --> 00:10:58.200 to show up, I don't need to think that I'm 232 00:10:58.200 --> 00:10:59.879 failing or I'm doing things wrong. 233 00:11:00.080 --> 00:11:00.879 It's just life. 234 00:11:01.240 --> 00:11:03.919 It's just who I am. It's just what happens. There 235 00:11:03.960 --> 00:11:06.679 are times you're gonna quote unquote fall short, but that 236 00:11:06.840 --> 00:11:07.440 is okay. 237 00:11:07.480 --> 00:11:09.320 We have to create room for that now. 238 00:11:09.679 --> 00:11:12.200 Last night I was scrolling on Pinterest, and I love 239 00:11:12.279 --> 00:11:14.080 my Pinterest quotes. You guys know, if you've been rock 240 00:11:14.240 --> 00:11:16.679 with me for a while, I just find the best ones, 241 00:11:16.799 --> 00:11:20.639 probably because my feed is curated based off of the 242 00:11:20.679 --> 00:11:23.480 things that I really know to be true deep down, 243 00:11:23.559 --> 00:11:26.399 and you know that gets reflected out into your life 244 00:11:26.399 --> 00:11:29.120 and even on social media. But I always find some 245 00:11:29.159 --> 00:11:33.480 good quotes. Okay, and I read this quote. I'm gonna 246 00:11:33.480 --> 00:11:36.519 read it, but I don't know exactly the context in 247 00:11:36.559 --> 00:11:40.120 which this was made for, but I actually want to 248 00:11:40.320 --> 00:11:42.639 go through it because I think that it can help 249 00:11:42.679 --> 00:11:48.679 me explain where this us being hard on ourselves can 250 00:11:48.759 --> 00:11:50.879 be coming from and there's many ways, you guys know, 251 00:11:50.960 --> 00:11:53.519 I always talk about childhood and you know, parents or 252 00:11:53.559 --> 00:11:57.320 caregivers or you know, societal systems or put in place 253 00:11:57.360 --> 00:12:00.279 for us to constantly just keep stressing and feel we 254 00:12:00.279 --> 00:12:02.200 need to do more. Yes, but I want to kind 255 00:12:02.240 --> 00:12:04.480 of like break them down. So this quote says the 256 00:12:04.519 --> 00:12:11.960 seven veils of illusion, and it says separation, scarcity, control, unworthiness, time, fear, 257 00:12:12.159 --> 00:12:14.080 and death. So I want to run through some of 258 00:12:14.080 --> 00:12:16.159 these and give you kind of like my commentary on it. 259 00:12:16.519 --> 00:12:19.360 And so the first one says separation. 260 00:12:19.720 --> 00:12:23.759 And I think that when we are being hard on 261 00:12:23.759 --> 00:12:26.519 ourselves and we're going back into that toxic self improvement 262 00:12:26.559 --> 00:12:29.440 and we're feeling like we're just not good enough, I 263 00:12:29.519 --> 00:12:33.039 really believe that this is coming from a place of 264 00:12:33.200 --> 00:12:37.080 us being separated from our innate worthiness and wholeness that 265 00:12:37.159 --> 00:12:39.960 we have come to this earth with as a baby. 266 00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:44.399 But then unfortunately, when we grow up, people's limiting beliefs, parents, 267 00:12:44.519 --> 00:12:47.879 trauma systems, everything gets placed on us, and now we 268 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:51.759 feel like we need to do be more, act have more. 269 00:12:52.240 --> 00:12:53.120 We don't have enough. 270 00:12:53.240 --> 00:12:55.240 I need to change this that and third, but we 271 00:12:55.279 --> 00:12:58.279 are also separated from just the relationship that we can 272 00:12:58.360 --> 00:13:01.279 have with ourselves, and I think that's so important. When 273 00:13:01.320 --> 00:13:03.759 you feel like you're not doing enough, you're being hard 274 00:13:03.799 --> 00:13:05.440 on yourself. And I even say this in the sense 275 00:13:05.480 --> 00:13:07.759 of even just like having a morning journal practice, because 276 00:13:07.840 --> 00:13:09.840 I feel like when you do, and for me, when 277 00:13:09.879 --> 00:13:12.320 I have this relationship with myself where I'm checking in 278 00:13:12.360 --> 00:13:14.600 with myself, I'm having a journal practice, I'm working on 279 00:13:14.639 --> 00:13:17.519 my mental health, I'm slowing things down. It's actually pretty 280 00:13:17.559 --> 00:13:20.720 easy for me to come to the realization that all 281 00:13:20.799 --> 00:13:22.879 of these thoughts that I'm having are based out of 282 00:13:22.919 --> 00:13:26.919 fear and lack and they're not serving me, and I 283 00:13:26.919 --> 00:13:29.000 don't need to listen to them, and my higher self 284 00:13:29.039 --> 00:13:32.279 knows that this is bullshit and I need to slow 285 00:13:32.320 --> 00:13:35.039 down and I need to remind myself of what I 286 00:13:35.080 --> 00:13:37.320 have accomplished and how good I am and all those things. 287 00:13:37.320 --> 00:13:39.360 And that's what I did when I realized it was 288 00:13:39.399 --> 00:13:41.759 like going into the spiral of anxiety that day, and 289 00:13:41.759 --> 00:13:43.960 I'm like, I need to just I need to come 290 00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:46.960 back to myself right now because I am letting and 291 00:13:47.240 --> 00:13:49.320 I don't know. Everyone has their ways of thinking of 292 00:13:49.360 --> 00:13:52.799 what this energy could be, like dark energy, evil energy, 293 00:13:52.840 --> 00:13:56.120 whatever it is, devilish energy, it's like it has me 294 00:13:56.200 --> 00:13:59.879 wrapped up in all of their limiting beliefs, in that negativity. 295 00:13:59.279 --> 00:13:59.960 And it's not true. 296 00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:04.080 That's true, that's not me. I didn't come here not worthy, 297 00:14:04.320 --> 00:14:06.759 And so I think it's so important that you do 298 00:14:07.200 --> 00:14:09.440 cultivate a relationship with yourself. But I will talk about 299 00:14:09.559 --> 00:14:11.240 something that you can journal on at the end of 300 00:14:11.240 --> 00:14:13.840 this episode. Actually, one last thing I will say about separation. 301 00:14:14.039 --> 00:14:16.039 This also could be looked at in the sense of 302 00:14:16.080 --> 00:14:18.639 being separated from others. I feel like when you're really 303 00:14:18.679 --> 00:14:22.240 isolated and you do everything for yourself and by yourself, 304 00:14:22.360 --> 00:14:24.320 maybe because you had to, but you know when you're 305 00:14:24.360 --> 00:14:26.039 in that state. And I know that because I've been 306 00:14:26.159 --> 00:14:28.120 like that all my life, and it's been really challenging 307 00:14:28.159 --> 00:14:31.759 for me to have healthy relationship. Not anymore, I've really 308 00:14:31.799 --> 00:14:35.200 worked on it, but in my past trust people, Trust 309 00:14:35.200 --> 00:14:36.639 that they're going to show up. 310 00:14:36.840 --> 00:14:37.799 All of that stuff. 311 00:14:39.399 --> 00:14:43.519 You can really become a stressed out individual and always 312 00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:45.559 feel like you're not doing enough because you actually don't 313 00:14:45.559 --> 00:14:48.080 even have healthy people around you to be like, hey, 314 00:14:48.120 --> 00:14:50.399 you are doing enough, or hey I can help you. 315 00:14:50.799 --> 00:14:51.399 Like you. 316 00:14:51.559 --> 00:14:55.639 Being connected with healthy people, of course, can really help 317 00:14:55.720 --> 00:14:58.879 you slow down and believe that you're doing enough. Like 318 00:14:59.120 --> 00:15:02.000 I even think of about my boyfriend, he is always 319 00:15:02.080 --> 00:15:05.600 just constantly like celebrating the small things that I kind 320 00:15:05.600 --> 00:15:07.000 of just like push away, and I'm just like, yeah, 321 00:15:07.000 --> 00:15:09.480 onto the next thing or whatever. Like even my friends too, 322 00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:11.840 Like people will come to me and like you have 323 00:15:12.000 --> 00:15:16.120 done so much for people, and your work is incredibly impactful, 324 00:15:16.240 --> 00:15:18.720 or your book or everything that you've done and all 325 00:15:18.759 --> 00:15:21.080 of these things. But I'm just so numb to it 326 00:15:21.159 --> 00:15:23.480 sometimes and I'm just so like used to just not 327 00:15:23.559 --> 00:15:26.480 really like Okay, onto the next thing, that I don't 328 00:15:26.519 --> 00:15:28.519 even see it. But when I have people, when I'm 329 00:15:28.519 --> 00:15:31.559 not separated from others, when I'm not separated from love, 330 00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:35.000 then I can actually see I am whole, I am 331 00:15:35.039 --> 00:15:37.559 good enough. I actually don't need to be doing so much. 332 00:15:37.639 --> 00:15:40.440 I am enough. That's what I'll say about separation. Next 333 00:15:40.440 --> 00:15:43.919 thing says is scarcity. Of course, when you are feeling 334 00:15:44.039 --> 00:15:46.120 like I'm not doing enough, I need to do more, 335 00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:49.919 that you're operating out of scarcity. You're operating out of 336 00:15:49.960 --> 00:15:53.039 a belief system that thinks I need to do more to. 337 00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:56.440 Be loved, to be valued, to. 338 00:15:56.600 --> 00:16:00.320 Even have more money. And on one hand, yeah, you 339 00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:02.759 need to do certain things to get money right, you 340 00:16:02.799 --> 00:16:06.240 need to do certain things to be valued in life. 341 00:16:06.360 --> 00:16:07.440 That's kind of how it is. 342 00:16:07.679 --> 00:16:10.039 And also you need to do things for others, so 343 00:16:10.080 --> 00:16:12.720 other people will also do things for you, but not 344 00:16:12.759 --> 00:16:15.240 in a toxic way. It's just a that's just kind 345 00:16:15.240 --> 00:16:17.440 of how things are, and that's totally fine. But I 346 00:16:17.480 --> 00:16:23.039 do think sometimes we are constantly being bombarded by things 347 00:16:23.039 --> 00:16:26.639 online and even in real life where it's just like 348 00:16:27.080 --> 00:16:28.840 you to work hard, you need to do more and 349 00:16:28.919 --> 00:16:32.279 it's still not going to be enough, and that belief 350 00:16:32.360 --> 00:16:35.120 system really can get in your head and push you 351 00:16:35.159 --> 00:16:38.639 to continuously keep doing more. But the truth really is 352 00:16:38.639 --> 00:16:42.320 is there actually is an abundance of love to be 353 00:16:42.440 --> 00:16:44.759 had and to be given, money to be had to 354 00:16:44.799 --> 00:16:48.519 be given, and resources and a lot of things. 355 00:16:48.559 --> 00:16:50.879 But we only see what. 356 00:16:50.759 --> 00:16:52.799 We are operating out of. So if you have that 357 00:16:52.840 --> 00:16:57.799 belief system of lack, I am in danger and there's 358 00:16:57.919 --> 00:17:01.480 not enough. You will only see see evidence to prove 359 00:17:01.559 --> 00:17:05.119 to yourself right about your belief system, and you will 360 00:17:05.160 --> 00:17:08.359 be in this perpetual negative feedback loop. And I've been there, 361 00:17:08.720 --> 00:17:11.519 and I'm not saying the world is all butterflies and roses. 362 00:17:12.119 --> 00:17:14.960 Definitely not right now and in today's world, and people 363 00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:18.119 need to wake up. People need to wake up, but 364 00:17:18.599 --> 00:17:20.519 you also need to wake up to the fact that 365 00:17:20.960 --> 00:17:24.799 there is a lot of good and when you do 366 00:17:24.920 --> 00:17:28.559 have that mindset, you can create more resources, more abundant, 367 00:17:28.960 --> 00:17:31.759 more healing in this world that can also help others 368 00:17:31.839 --> 00:17:32.319 as well. 369 00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:34.839 So that's all I'll say on the scarcity. 370 00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:37.519 But it definitely can be coming from the scarcity mindset 371 00:17:37.519 --> 00:17:39.799 when you're constantly feeling like you gotta do more and 372 00:17:39.839 --> 00:17:42.400 self improvement and not good enough. 373 00:17:42.200 --> 00:17:43.559 And YadA, YadA, YadA. 374 00:17:43.720 --> 00:17:46.559 Next is control. The thing is with control is this, 375 00:17:46.920 --> 00:17:49.160 we have a lot more control over the way we 376 00:17:49.240 --> 00:17:53.559 perceive things and our mindsets and are positive or negative 377 00:17:53.559 --> 00:17:57.119 mindsets about things and whether we're gonna continue forward, we're 378 00:17:57.119 --> 00:17:59.519 gonna have good beliefs and this that, But we don't 379 00:17:59.519 --> 00:18:02.119 necessarily always have control over the things that are happening, 380 00:18:02.400 --> 00:18:05.240 just how we are going to interact with these things. 381 00:18:05.720 --> 00:18:07.319 And I think. 382 00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:13.039 The illusion that really hits us sometimes from that dark energy. 383 00:18:13.039 --> 00:18:14.839 Maybe if you want to believe in that, is that 384 00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:18.119 we can control every outcome, and when we do that, 385 00:18:18.160 --> 00:18:19.599 we actually stress ourselves out even more. 386 00:18:19.599 --> 00:18:21.000 And I'm going to bring it back to that event. 387 00:18:21.559 --> 00:18:26.160 I couldn't control really how that day went. Okay, you 388 00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:29.599 know what, the weather was the weather, My hormones were 389 00:18:29.599 --> 00:18:33.119 my hormones, and there were other like small things that 390 00:18:33.240 --> 00:18:35.920 just were playing a role in that, and I could 391 00:18:36.000 --> 00:18:39.319 really go against that. But if I continue to fight 392 00:18:39.359 --> 00:18:41.640 against that, I would just be fighting myself and stressing 393 00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:44.839 myself out more. And the moment that I released some 394 00:18:44.920 --> 00:18:47.880 of that perfectionism, because that's really what that control feeds into. 395 00:18:48.480 --> 00:18:51.519 Once I released that, things opened up so beautifully for me. 396 00:18:51.640 --> 00:18:54.880 I felt so much lighter. And when I am not stressed, 397 00:18:54.920 --> 00:18:58.039 when I'm not feeling like I need to control things, 398 00:18:58.279 --> 00:19:01.720 things work out so much much better. I'm clear minded, 399 00:19:01.759 --> 00:19:05.160 so I think differently, I move differently, I act differently. 400 00:19:05.480 --> 00:19:08.440 During that day, not only did I go into that 401 00:19:08.559 --> 00:19:10.319