Speaker 1: Here take my advice.
Speaker 2: You have to be very careful. If you call out
Speaker 2: to one of the dead. All of them can hear
Speaker 2: you down.
Speaker 3: Throw them down, down the living.
Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome back to the show. This is the
Speaker 4: third and final installment of Into the Further Sorry for
Speaker 4: the delay on this one. It is all Colby's fault. Colby,
Speaker 4: how are you?
Speaker 3: I am not at fault. I know that for a fact.
Speaker 4: It is all your fault.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, your people tried to get to my people.
Speaker 3: There's some delays, some miscommunications.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's gonna be a couple of weeks in between
Speaker 4: Into the Further two in this episode obviously, but I
Speaker 4: wanted to put a bow on it because I feel
Speaker 4: like I had something pretty cool going with the first
Speaker 4: two episodes. You were part of the inspiration behind making
Speaker 4: the series, so it's only right that you are my
Speaker 4: guest for the evening.
Speaker 3: I didn't know I was so inspiring or I'm your muse.
Speaker 4: I guess, well, I guess. First off, tell me and
Speaker 4: the listeners about your sufferings with sleep paralysis.
Speaker 3: So we're not even going to like go to dinner.
Speaker 3: You just want to go right right into it.
Speaker 4: Zero four player, right well.
Speaker 3: That's probably a good idea because I don't know how
Speaker 3: long you want to go tonight, but we could talk
Speaker 3: about all sorts of things that kind of weave in
Speaker 3: with the sleep paralysis that you know, there's a lot
Speaker 3: of things that seem to happen around the same time
Speaker 3: in life they're linked with sleep paralysis.
Speaker 4: So, well, you warned me for the last few weeks
Speaker 4: because we've planned to do this episode several times, and
Speaker 4: you're like, just be prepared, will probably be divorced by
Speaker 4: the end of it. So I have absolutely no idea
Speaker 4: what you're gonna say tonight, and that's why I think
Speaker 4: zero four play is in order. Just let's hear what
Speaker 4: you have to say. How long have you known about
Speaker 4: sleep paralysis? Like have you had it since you were
Speaker 4: a kid? Did you know what it was at the time?
Speaker 3: Like what, Yeah, there's brief memories of pretty you know,
Speaker 3: early childhood, like past toddler maybe like four or five,
Speaker 3: where I mean, I've just always had a real problem
Speaker 3: sleeping my entire life, and I was scared to go
Speaker 3: to sleep, and I think maybe I was experiencing something
Speaker 3: like that back then. But my first distinct memory where
Speaker 3: I was just completely conscious through the whole process. Was
Speaker 3: when I was fifteen, maybe sixteen, I was a fresh
Speaker 3: in high school. I remember it, and oddly enough, my
Speaker 3: first occurrence was during the day. It wasn't at night.
Speaker 3: I For those of you who've played football or no
Speaker 3: people who have, you've probably you'll be familiar with two
Speaker 3: A days, which is something they do like a couple
Speaker 3: of weeks before school starts. The football team starts practicing
Speaker 3: and they'll go at like the ass crack of dawn
Speaker 3: and then again in the evening, and it's brutal. They
Speaker 3: kind of whips your ass into shape. So I was
Speaker 3: it was like the second or third day of it,
Speaker 3: and I was taking a nap between the two practice sessions,
Speaker 3: and I was in my bedroom alone. I shared a
Speaker 3: bedroom with my brother and he wasn't in there. But
Speaker 3: I woke up just one hundred percent awake, but I
Speaker 3: couldn't move, and I felt like I wasn't breathing, and
Speaker 3: then I just started panicking and there was like an
Speaker 3: intense shake, like a spasmene and it usually starts right
Speaker 3: here at the base of my skull and just goes
Speaker 3: through my whole body. And you the worst or the
Speaker 3: more you fight it, the worse it gets. And that
Speaker 3: was my first time ever, and I remember thinking, like,
Speaker 3: oh fuck, did I get hit? Because you know, it's
Speaker 3: full pads and everything during those practices, Did I get hit?
Speaker 3: And I like fucked up my neck? But I'm like
Speaker 3: paralyzed now. And it was delayed. I mean, so this
Speaker 3: this was going on long enough for me to like theorize.
Speaker 4: At the time, you weren't familiar with the concept.
Speaker 3: I had no fucking idea what it was not at all.
Speaker 3: And I probably learned when I was my first year
Speaker 3: out of high school or my second year. Pretty sure
Speaker 3: it was when I was in college and I started
Speaker 3: looking into all sorts of like esoteric shit, and you know,
Speaker 3: the internet back then, like we're talking two thousand and
Speaker 3: four ish, it was great for like, you know, just
Speaker 3: downloads of entire books and essays and stuff. There was
Speaker 3: no YouTube or anything like that. But I found an
Speaker 3: essay about it, and it was the first time that
Speaker 3: I realized, like, oh, I have this is normal. I'm
Speaker 3: not the only one. I told people about it, but
Speaker 3: no one seemed to know what it was. I told
Speaker 3: my mom about it. She didn't seem to know what
Speaker 3: it was. But it didn't really happen a lot from
Speaker 3: then until I was probably like a young adult eighteen nineteen.
Speaker 3: Then it started happening all the fucking time, like three
Speaker 3: four nights a month, and then since from like where
Speaker 3: I am today, it's kind of just like come in spurts.
Speaker 3: And in fact, the last time I had one when
Speaker 3: we were visiting your family, and it was an intense one.
Speaker 3: But we're kind of getting ahead of it because I've
Speaker 3: learned throughout the years to actually I live with it
Speaker 3: very comfortably. It doesn't it does not stress me out.
Speaker 4: Actually, ask you about that kind of towards the end,
Speaker 4: your advice on people who are suffering from this who want.
Speaker 3: Well, you you're not gonna like the advice I have.
Speaker 4: If you agree with, well's just save it.
Speaker 3: The gentleman that closed out your last episode, he was
Speaker 3: a religious fella.
Speaker 4: Well do you okay, let's let's let's save that for
Speaker 4: a minute. But do you think that there is because
Speaker 4: the endo the further series, I wanted to talk about
Speaker 4: some of the craziest paranormal experiences that I've had and
Speaker 4: uh that I heard other people have. But I do
Speaker 4: feel like in a lot of cases, sleep paralysis and
Speaker 4: paranormal activity can sometimes kind of run side by side.
Speaker 3: So do you feel like that, I mean, yeah, I mean,
Speaker 3: and I didn't. I only described my first one, and
Speaker 3: as time goes on, it starts to get more paranormal.
Speaker 3: I think the experience itself on its own is paranormal.
Speaker 3: And as you've talked about, and lots of people have
Speaker 3: have kind of researched into this, there's lots of similar
Speaker 3: sightings among people. And it's you know, the hat man,
Speaker 3: the old the old hag, shadow, there's a there's a
Speaker 3: guardian person, there's shadow people. I've had friends of mine
Speaker 3: tell me that they saw aliens experimenting on them.
Speaker 4: Yes, I have to.
Speaker 3: So it's all over the place. And I did have
Speaker 3: like shadow people vision. I used to feel like something
Speaker 3: was sitting on my chest holding my wrists when I
Speaker 3: couldn't move. More of a sensation than a presence, if
Speaker 3: that makes sense. Like invisible cease. I've seen like it's
Speaker 3: like a shimmer and it's like a bean. But it's
Speaker 3: not like I didn't see somebody wearing a hat.
Speaker 4: Well, what do you think about because you told me
Speaker 4: that when you were very little, your mom and your
Speaker 4: stepdad said that you would see things around the house.
Speaker 3: I saw a ghost when I was two to three,
Speaker 3: somewhere in that year, and it was my dad actually
Speaker 3: and my mom. They were probably pretty close to divorcing,
Speaker 3: but I think, because.
Speaker 4: So this is before they even split.
Speaker 3: Up, I think it was like it was in that timeframe.
Speaker 3: And long story short, my mom is pretty observant when
Speaker 3: it comes to some things, not when it comes to others.
Speaker 3: But she really had been around kids her entire life
Speaker 3: because her mom and my grandmother was like the daycare,
Speaker 3: the town nanny like. I don't know if she even
Speaker 3: went through the government, but we talked about this, I
Speaker 3: think in one of the blood ties or something about
Speaker 3: the babysitting thing grandma had. But anyway, so my mom
Speaker 3: grew up surrounded by kids, and she noticed that when
Speaker 3: she would hear me talking like a kid talking to itself,
Speaker 3: that it was different because I was having a conversation.
Speaker 3: I would say something pause, like somebody else's talking, So
Speaker 3: it was a conversation she was only hearing one end of.
Speaker 3: And she came into my bedroom and one of these
Speaker 3: occasions and said, were you talking to And I pointed
Speaker 3: over her shoulder and said, my friend. She said who,
Speaker 3: I said, my friend, he's standing right behind you. And
Speaker 3: my mom didn't get scared, but she asked questions. She
Speaker 3: asked what he looked like, and I described him. And
Speaker 3: it's a small ass town. We're talking like in the
Speaker 3: city limits or the town limits, maybe under four hundred
Speaker 3: and then the surrounding valley. It's just ranchers and shit.
Speaker 3: But it's small enough that everybody knows everybody. So I
Speaker 3: described the guy, and my mom talked to her mom
Speaker 3: and said, what did Homer Chastain look like? And that
Speaker 3: was I don't know if you want to edit the
Speaker 3: name out, but I doubt any Chastains out there are
Speaker 3: going to sue. But I had told my mom that
Speaker 3: he was bald, he had a beard, and he wore
Speaker 3: oshkosh because that.
Speaker 4: Your word for overall yeah's.
Speaker 3: And my mom told my grandma that and she said, yeah,
Speaker 3: he was bald, he had a beard, he always wore
Speaker 3: the same dirty best pair of overalls, or you know,
Speaker 3: he lived, he died in that house. So my dad
Speaker 3: believed it, my mom believed it. I don't have a
Speaker 3: memory of it. The only memory I have is being
Speaker 3: told about it. And so that's not something I remember.
Speaker 3: But there are some things that started happening when I
Speaker 3: was twelve, so we'll say like three years before that
Speaker 3: football practice incident of the first sleep proalysis. I remember,
Speaker 3: but I would wake up always downstairs. My bedroom was upstairs.
Speaker 3: This is an old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere,
Speaker 3: surrounded by old potato fields, and it was just fucking desolate.
Speaker 3: A few times I woke up outside, but mainly it
Speaker 3: was like there was this site entrance that led out
Speaker 3: to our deck where we had like a hot tub
Speaker 3: and where the barbecue and share was. No, That's what
Speaker 3: I thought at first, but then I thought I'm dreaming.
Speaker 3: But as I started to like have this happen constantly,
Speaker 3: I noticed that it's like three sixty vision, not in
Speaker 3: a body, You're just basically so your.
Speaker 4: Physical body wasn't outside or down. No, it was like it.
Speaker 3: And this has also happened to me when I've done mushrooms.
Speaker 3: This has happened to me. Also, I've left the house
Speaker 3: gone and walked around and talked to people, and then
Speaker 3: like my ex girlfriend said that, I never left the bed,
Speaker 3: and so I don't know if that was real, like.
Speaker 4: A remote viewing wilderness.
Speaker 3: So that I don't know about remote viewing. I think
Speaker 3: that's more controlled. But as we get into the sleep prolysis,
Speaker 3: as I started like working with it, I actually can
Speaker 3: just astro project.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like the kid from Insidious.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I see. I think those movies do it
Speaker 3: in injustice, and I think that gentlemen that ended your
Speaker 3: last episode did it in injustice. The reason people freak
Speaker 3: the fuck out when they're having a sleep paralysis is
Speaker 3: because they're told it's demonic. They're told there's something wrong
Speaker 3: with them. And I tell you right now, the things
Speaker 3: that guy was saying about you're being unfaithful, you're using drugs,
Speaker 3: you're hiding things. When this shit started happened to me,
Speaker 3: I was a fucking kid. I don't think any of
Speaker 3: that's true. I do think he had a point with
Speaker 3: generational shit. I think there's something to that. My brother
Speaker 3: also has this, and I didn't even know until he
Speaker 3: visited us, like what a couple of months.
Speaker 4: Ago and when we got married.
Speaker 3: So he was explaining it, and his sounds similar to
Speaker 3: mine but also dissimilar in ways. But anyway, yeah, I
Speaker 3: don't know where you want to go from there.
Speaker 4: But well, I mean I know you have a bone
Speaker 4: to pick about some of the things that I have
Speaker 4: either said or have included in the first two episodes.
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't have a bone to pick with it.
Speaker 3: I think it's it's just a different perspective to ad
Speaker 3: because I think that if even if you're a Christian,
Speaker 3: but even if you're not, that this isn't to me,
Speaker 3: And in my opinion, this isn't demonic necessarily. Can it be? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Does it have to be? It's just like anything else.
Speaker 3: There's elements to it that it's not just like black
Speaker 3: and white, like if you're experiencing sleep paralysis, your opening
Speaker 3: doorways for demons. I don't think it's just that cut
Speaker 3: and dry.
Speaker 4: Well, if you'll remember, in the second episode, I did
Speaker 4: include a snippet from him. I don't know. He sounded
Speaker 4: Irish or no, he sounded like he was like Scottish
Speaker 4: or Irish or something like that. And he was talking
Speaker 4: about how hallucinogens opened him up to seeing these and
Speaker 4: there's like a hierarchy of like entities that can come
Speaker 4: through and say what did you think about his summary?
Speaker 3: Well, as we get religious. To me, he didn't. But
Speaker 3: and I'm telling you right now. The further I got
Speaker 3: into this, I walk parallel with that guy in a
Speaker 3: way because the very first time I defeated my sleep
Speaker 3: paralysis and I actually fucking went through I had been
Speaker 3: doing doses of DMT and mushrooms. I wouldn't say frequently,
Speaker 3: but pretty consistently, like once or twice, maybe three times
Speaker 3: a month.
Speaker 4: And DMT three times a month.
Speaker 3: Well, it were much. I mean, I've probably done DMT
Speaker 3: dozens of times. But as far as no, I don't
Speaker 3: condone it, and I also don't think that it's as
Speaker 3: evil as everybody else does. I do think the movement
Speaker 3: right now that's like a sequel to mk Ulter, a
Speaker 3: spin off of it with Joe Rogan and a lot
Speaker 3: I mean shit, Sam tripleis selling microdoses of chocolate bars
Speaker 3: called Brain Supreme, and the guy actually came on his
Speaker 3: show a few weeks ago and said that he's been
Speaker 3: communicating with a god Ai se So. But psychedelics have
Speaker 3: helped me immensely, and they've also let me know that
Speaker 3: I was done, and I would like to do them again.
Speaker 3: Given the right opportunity camping something like that, I would
Speaker 3: do it again. But I don't feel like I need it.
Speaker 3: Not that I needed it back then, but I definitely
Speaker 3: was able to let go of a lot of shit
Speaker 3: that I was holding onto, including the darkness that I
Speaker 3: experienced when I tried to embrace Christianity and the fear
Speaker 3: that it instilled in me. And I was crippled by
Speaker 3: that for years. And I think that being a Christian
Speaker 3: to some people is having a relationship with Christ. Other
Speaker 3: people are more dogmatic and fundamental about it, and they're
Speaker 3: probably more likely to think that this stuff is always demonic.
Speaker 3: The aliens are demons. It's either demons or Nephilim's that are,
Speaker 3: you know, the root cause of everything. And I mean
Speaker 3: there is like vlidity to a lot of that. And
Speaker 3: I think the Bible and a lot of older texts
Speaker 3: have an accurate, you know, representation of a lot of
Speaker 3: things that were going on.
Speaker 4: Well, I mean, this is a component to our relationship
Speaker 4: that makes us so interesting because you know how I
Speaker 4: feel about everything like that. But at the same time,
Speaker 4: I do still remain open minded for someone who would
Speaker 4: consider themselves to be a Christian.
Speaker 3: Well, like I said, it's a I think it's a
Speaker 3: big scale of what a Christian is.
Speaker 4: I don't even know if I like using that word because.
Speaker 3: There's nothing wrong with the word it's.
Speaker 4: But it's got such a stigma attached to well, and
Speaker 4: another thing because of people who are crazy. And just
Speaker 4: so you know, when I was doing the research for
Speaker 4: this into the further series, most of the people who
Speaker 4: had an interesting outlook and perspective happened to be Christian.
Speaker 4: It's not like I went necessarily looking just or Christian perspective.
Speaker 4: Like the Irish guy or whatever. He didn't sound religious
Speaker 4: at all to me. And I included that snippet in.
Speaker 3: There, But no, and I don't I never said that
Speaker 3: that was the only perspective that you offered up.
Speaker 4: But I'm happy to hear your side of things.
Speaker 3: Well, of course that's what you had me on.
Speaker 4: I would consider the word demon and the word entity synonymous.
Speaker 4: Does that make you feel better?
Speaker 3: Oh, I don't have a beef with However, you look
Speaker 3: at what.
Speaker 4: A demon is, do you feel that those two things
Speaker 4: can be synonymous? An entity, a dark entity, a demon?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 4: What what are you you? Like? Are you trying to
Speaker 4: say like there are no demons? Or you're saying like
Speaker 4: what are your thoughts?
Speaker 3: Uh? I also think we've got we touched on this
Speaker 3: a little bit in Blood Ties because we were talking.
Speaker 4: About like, did I ask you this already?
Speaker 3: Well, I just we were talking about demon possession. Oh
Speaker 3: and when your mind is opened up to something, something
Speaker 3: else has to step in. And I look at it
Speaker 3: like the secret societies, the old school clubs that eventually
Speaker 3: became the government and the intelligence agencies have been fucking
Speaker 3: around with some dark force. Christians want to go straight
Speaker 3: to demonic. Uh. You know, every sect is going to
Speaker 3: have their word for it, and I think it's a
Speaker 3: real thing. I don't believe any faith that claims to
Speaker 3: have like a monopoly on understanding what these dark forces are.
Speaker 3: I don't think the Bible alone can you know, offer
Speaker 3: up a thorough explanation. I think experiencing it is pretty
Speaker 3: much the only way to really know it. And if
Speaker 3: I had stuck with my Christian beliefs, I think that
Speaker 3: there's things that I've seen and that have happened to
Speaker 3: me that I would call demnic. But whatever the word
Speaker 3: you want to use for it, Yeah, I do definitely
Speaker 3: believe in something that can hijack and step in possess.
Speaker 3: Do you the CIA works with it? They use it
Speaker 3: in their monarch programming. Yes, they do the program to
Speaker 3: kill killers. I think there's a component of it in there.
Speaker 3: Some of them were just flat out created characters. Others
Speaker 3: of them were actually like steered into being what they
Speaker 3: were by whatever means. I mean, yes, we all know
Speaker 3: the stories. Anybody that's listened to your podcasts, Well, would you.
Speaker 4: Say that there either when you when you were doing DMT,
Speaker 4: you feel like you had a negative experience? Is dark?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I've had the best and the worst that
Speaker 3: my mind has to offer served me on a platter
Speaker 3: that when it's happening. This is what scares people about psychedelics.
Speaker 3: It's also what draws people to psychedelics. Some people are adventurers.
Speaker 3: Some people are like, that's not for me. I think
Speaker 3: I look at it like fucking I would never go
Speaker 3: bungee jumping or fucking skydiving. Fuck that I would.
Speaker 4: I would never.
Speaker 3: I would smoke DMT and feel like I would never
Speaker 3: do that. Well, I recommend doing what you feel comfortable doing.
Speaker 3: Don't eat mushrooms because you saw Joe Rugan doing it
Speaker 3: or because you heard somebody on a podcast talk about it.
Speaker 3: These things are powerful, These things shouldn't be fucked with
Speaker 3: they shouldn't be sold as candy bars on conspiracy podcasts.
Speaker 4: I thank you for clarifying. Well, I do not think
Speaker 4: there's something to be tribal with.
Speaker 3: I mean, you know this about me, and I don't
Speaker 3: know if I've talked about it on your show, but
Speaker 3: when I was going through all this shit, shortly after
Speaker 3: I wanted to make a fucking documentary about psychedelics.
Speaker 4: Well, why do you think, like in ancient cultures it
Speaker 4: was reserved only for the shaman because and not just
Speaker 4: the lay person, because they had to like be some
Speaker 4: type of upper echelon. Motherfuckerss understand how.
Speaker 3: To there is that, But there was also mushroom cults
Speaker 3: mushroom you could call them tribes.
Speaker 4: But like ancient cultures I'm talking about, I am too, okay.
Speaker 3: And there's the variation.
Speaker 4: Of the ayahuasca.
Speaker 3: Ayahuasca's got several variations of how it's been used to
Speaker 3: but just in general, the shaman on the hill having
Speaker 3: the visions, doing the trips, destroying their body through these
Speaker 3: fucking trips, through other realms, doing it to hill other people,
Speaker 3: that's one component of it. But there's also sacraments among
Speaker 3: the people. There was a fucking tribe in Siberia that
Speaker 3: would eat amanita mscaria mushrooms and then they would piss.
Speaker 3: So the high, the head up guy in the tribe
Speaker 3: would fucking eat it first. The guy below him would
Speaker 3: drink his piss. The guy below him would drink his piss,
Speaker 3: and so you would trip lesser and lesser. I mean,
Speaker 3: I always that one always stuck out to me, and
Speaker 3: you could drink rain there piss, and it's actually better
Speaker 3: to drink the piss of somebody that's eaten that mushroom
Speaker 3: because it's poisonous and like it's almost a filter when
Speaker 3: you're litt evan.
Speaker 4: You laughed at me for doing your in therapy?
Speaker 3: Did I say this, Jedi? Did I say that I
Speaker 3: did this? I'm intrigued by it.
Speaker 4: You know what, I'm try some shambabu off piss in
Speaker 4: a cup right now. You can try it.
Speaker 3: Well, you should eat an amanita muscara first.
Speaker 4: My iron is especially potent right now.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean I would say that to the Akadelics.
Speaker 3: For me, they worked out. I've seen people lose their
Speaker 3: minds on them also, so I don't say fuck around
Speaker 3: with them. Willy Nelly. I think that I mean, I read.
Speaker 4: So much about experience the first time, Well.
Speaker 3: This could fucking become its own episode.
Speaker 4: I just want you to say it because it was captivating.
Speaker 3: Well in me, it's basically to me when I was younger,
Speaker 3: and I would the experience was more fresh. I used
Speaker 3: to really want to tell people because it's something that
Speaker 3: gave me complete comfort. And I'm a hundred percent convinced
Speaker 3: that this is all whatever you want to call it.
Speaker 3: Some people call it a simulation, some people call it
Speaker 3: a spiritual experience, whether it's you came here to get saved. Sorry,
Speaker 3: I just I find it captivating that all a lot
Speaker 3: of Christians are all against the Satanic panic blood ritual stuff,
Speaker 3: you know, and the religion. The way most people celebrate
Speaker 3: it is you're worshiping a blood sacrifice. That is what
Speaker 3: the Christian faith is based on. It doesn't have to
Speaker 3: be that way. Catholicism in particular, they get all fucking
Speaker 3: pornographic with the goddamn crucifixion, Like that's what this is now.
Speaker 3: And I mean that I'm getting off track here, but
Speaker 3: I just think that to demonize psychedelics and having your
Speaker 3: own spiritual experience without having the middleman of the church.
Speaker 3: I have an issue with that, but I've also fuck.
Speaker 3: When I was doing all these drugs, I had a
Speaker 3: preacher in the town I was living reach out to
Speaker 3: me through a handwritten letter. I got it in the melon.
Speaker 3: He've heard that I was the leader of some psychedelic occult.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I've told you this.
Speaker 4: This is into the cult, into the further.
Speaker 3: Well, anyway, the point of this the point, No, it's
Speaker 3: a joke, but the but the point, I mean, it's
Speaker 3: not a joke that really happened. But the point is
Speaker 3: that guy was so open minded. He was a devout Christian.
Speaker 3: He told me he didn't believe in hell. He told
Speaker 3: me that the Bible was more like a guide book
Speaker 3: and that had been fucking translated so many times. And
Speaker 3: he understood about the Vatican. He understood all that stuff.
Speaker 3: And he was just like, I believe in love and forgiveness.
Speaker 3: I believe in the things Jesus taught. I read passages
Speaker 3: out of the Bible that I find help bring the
Speaker 3: message of love and light. And I told him all
Speaker 3: about my drug trips and he was just he was
Speaker 3: just listening for hours, and he didn't think I was
Speaker 3: fucking with anything demonic either.
Speaker 4: But you felt unconditional love the first time you did
Speaker 4: d MT.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't call it that was what would you?
Speaker 4: How would you describe it? That's what I want you
Speaker 4: to say.
Speaker 3: I would okay, So do you really want to take
Speaker 3: the episode this way?
Speaker 4: I just I have a point I'm trying to make,
Speaker 4: and I need you to describe it. First.
Speaker 3: Well, I know what people call unconditional love, and I
Speaker 3: just think that that carries a woo woo kind of
Speaker 3: there's a there's a stigma I guess attached to me. No,
Speaker 3: but I have it because.
Speaker 4: Experienced it in my life.
Speaker 3: I know what it is good because a lot of
Speaker 3: people never have. And I've had many experiences that I
Speaker 3: would call unconditional love. Me too, my son. Uh, it's
Speaker 3: just one of those experiences like if you're holding a
Speaker 3: newborn baby, that is yours. But that's not what I
Speaker 3: experienced on DMT. I experienced a trip through all of
Speaker 3: existence and it was just I was in a tunnel.
Speaker 3: I just got shot right out of my body. I
Speaker 3: got to see everything in this reality turn into like
Speaker 3: three d legos before just vaporizing, and then I was
Speaker 3: just and I just hit that DMT fucking hard, and
Speaker 3: I haven't been able to do it since. I don't
Speaker 3: think I'll ever be able to do this again because
Speaker 3: it's such an experience that you just hesitate. So when
Speaker 3: I said I've done it these dozens of times, I've
Speaker 3: only had breakthrough experiences like under five. But anyway, it's
Speaker 3: like a it's it's kind of mundane to describe it,
Speaker 3: but I ended up traveling through all these fucking you
Speaker 3: would call them hallucinations, I don't believe they are, and
Speaker 3: I don't know where I was going. I don't know
Speaker 3: if I was going into my own DNA. I don't
Speaker 3: know if I literally really left this plane. But that's
Speaker 3: what it feels like.
Speaker 4: Did you see entities, Yes, what did they say?
Speaker 3: Nothing? I was just watching them fucking work. But that's
Speaker 3: at the end of the trip. So when I go
Speaker 3: through this tunnel and the hallucine in your nations are crazy.
Speaker 3: It's like kaleidoscopic, mathematical, just that the most psychedelic visuals
Speaker 3: you could ever imagine, but also very coded, like I
Speaker 3: can see why people think this is a simulation. I
Speaker 3: can see the thing that Jonathan Jacob talk about, this
Speaker 3: guy who has this red laser pointer and they can
Speaker 3: see the code when they smoke DMT. And he's doing
Speaker 3: this with like hundreds of people. And for me, when
Speaker 3: I got through that tunnel, what people I think that
Speaker 3: have seen this and say it's unconditional left to me,
Speaker 3: it's like it's everything and nothing at the same time,
Speaker 3: everything that's ever existed is there. Everyone. You don't see them,
Speaker 3: but you feel it, and you know that this is home.
Speaker 3: All this, the place that I just was like fucking
Speaker 3: shot out of a cannon from, is the trip. And
Speaker 3: I know people are gonna say that's gnostic. I know
Speaker 3: people are gonna say that's like a simulation. I don't.
Speaker 3: I can't break it down into simple terms. But this
Speaker 3: is the trip, and we're supposed to be here. We're
Speaker 3: supposed to be doing what we're doing. We're supposed to
Speaker 3: experience everything we're experiencing. It's all okay, the worst things imaginable,
Speaker 3: it's all okay. We're like probably coming back time and
Speaker 3: time again in different ways. But when you're there, it doesn't.
Speaker 3: You don't feel like a person, you don't really feel
Speaker 3: like anything, but you're just everything. People call it one
Speaker 3: love or one conditional love and yeah love, Sure, that
Speaker 3: was there. Everything was there. But when I got back
Speaker 3: and I saw the recreation and destruction of the universe
Speaker 3: when I was coming back to my body, and it
Speaker 3: was just visions that I could go on for several
Speaker 3: minutes describing. But it's hard to describe it. It's hard
Speaker 3: to remember it, and you almost like only remember it
Speaker 3: because you think about it a lot and tell the
Speaker 3: story to other people. Having a psychedelic experience is just
Speaker 3: impossible to imagine what it's like until you do it.
Speaker 3: But when I got back to my body, so I
Speaker 3: saw all this, and then I was just hovering above
Speaker 3: our level of existence, and I saw a guy sitting
Speaker 3: cross legged and a few people standing behind him talking,
Speaker 3: and the person sitting down said, holy fuck, and I
Speaker 3: realized that's me. As soon as I realized that was me,
Speaker 3: I was back to my body and the visuals were
Speaker 3: still really psychedelic, but they faded away rather quickly. I'd
Speaker 3: say within five minutes. I felt completely normal again. But
Speaker 3: I haven't looked at the world the same since, and
Speaker 3: I've tried to recreate it. I've hesitated trying to recreate it,
Speaker 3: and I don't think I ever need to recreate it.
Speaker 3: Having it once is enough and I think we'll probably
Speaker 3: have it again when we die.
Speaker 4: But do you think even though you had an overwhelmingly
Speaker 4: positive experience.
Speaker 3: With that, but it was the most intense experience of
Speaker 3: my life. I would say, when you do enough DMT,
Speaker 3: you lose the ability to be scared. If you do
Speaker 3: a little, it's terrifying. I always told people when we
Speaker 3: were like if it was someone's first time, and back
Speaker 3: when I was in a cult, but I would just say,
Speaker 3: if you want this experience to be like as big
Speaker 3: as possible, just go hard. What if you don't, I mean,
Speaker 3: it gets I've seen people they get scared because they
Speaker 3: stay here, but everything just gets crazy, like your most
Speaker 3: intense mushroom trip ever, and it comes on instantly.
Speaker 4: It's horrifying.
Speaker 3: It can be I've been scared shitless before.
Speaker 4: So the reason I asked you to describe it is
Speaker 4: because do you And if the answer is no, then
Speaker 4: so be it. But do you feel like doing something
Speaker 4: like that you could possibly bring back a hitchhiker?
Speaker 3: Yes, I do.
Speaker 4: Positive or a negative one.
Speaker 3: Any you know scale going from negative to positive to neutral. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I've seen it. I've seen it. Happen to people. I
Speaker 3: don't know if it was the psychedelics that did it.
Speaker 3: The fact is, you know all the fucking research that
Speaker 3: the CIA and everybody back in the fifties and sixties
Speaker 3: were doing on this stuff. This is really fucking new
Speaker 3: to this day. There's people that like our parents' age,
Speaker 3: that were alive when LSD came into mainstream culture. So
Speaker 3: and we all know where that stuff can go. We
Speaker 3: know the all the negative baggage of that fucking that revolution.
Speaker 3: And then you know, whether you believe and they split
Speaker 3: the atom or not, those two things happened. So you know,
Speaker 3: people say it was the universe's answer to the atom
Speaker 3: bomb was LSD, But then that became the atom bomb
Speaker 3: of the mind because it got into people that wanted
Speaker 3: to weaponize it and control us. But you could also use
Speaker 3: these things to open people's minds up to in ways
Speaker 3: they wouldn't they wouldn't have access to otherwise. And I'm
Speaker 3: also hearing people now start to say that they're going
Speaker 3: to give people psychedelic experiences using AI virtual reality, and
Speaker 3: I'm going this could be way more dangerous than the
Speaker 3: actual drugs, because who's pre programming those things like Peter
Speaker 3: Thiel's actes Elon.
Speaker 4: It's also like, what do they want to implant in there?
Speaker 3: The same shit that they put in the TV screen
Speaker 3: that they've been fucking shooting at us on a small
Speaker 3: scale for everybody's, all of our lives.
Speaker 4: Do you think that you brought back a hitchhiker? Oh,
Speaker 4: and maybe that's why your sleep paralysis has turned into
Speaker 4: something weird.
Speaker 3: Well, after I started messing around with psychedelics, I defeated
Speaker 3: my sleep paralysis. So if I brought back something, I
Speaker 3: mean when I was young, my you know, through fifteen
Speaker 3: through twenty one, those were my years of fear. I
Speaker 3: was still like in the grips of everything I looked
Speaker 3: into with Christianity, and I still am not against christ
Speaker 3: in any fashion.
Speaker 4: It just saddens me, and I don't want a tangent
Speaker 4: too far, but it saddens me that that was your experience,
Speaker 4: because I had such an overwhelmingly positive experience. Like you,
Speaker 4: you did this DMT or whatever, and you felt like
Speaker 4: it released you from fear and from bondage to Christianity,
Speaker 4: and I feel like it freed me. Sure, I just
Speaker 4: I think people sad that that's your experience.
Speaker 3: Well, people are freed by different things. See in my
Speaker 3: in my belief system, which is ever changing. I don't
Speaker 3: think that anybody's going to burn in hell for believing
Speaker 3: in the wrong system.
Speaker 4: I don't think hell is what anyone perceives it to be.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't, And what I'm arguing isn't what I
Speaker 3: think your perspective is. I just know that a large
Speaker 3: presence in modern day Christianity is overly Catholic and its
Speaker 3: attachment to propaganda, the Satanic panic stuff, which is real,
Speaker 3: but it's also a part of the program.
Speaker 4: I think the Vatican is ran by Satanists.
Speaker 3: Of course, that's there's no question.
Speaker 4: That I can't, I don't even want to, but bring
Speaker 4: those assholes up.
Speaker 3: Most religions are Catholic light there are exceptions, don't get
Speaker 3: me wrong. And like you and I have had this
Speaker 3: conversation before, and you know, you were pretty straightforward with
Speaker 3: asking me if I thought I could bring some hitchhikers back.
Speaker 3: But I've told you before the like speaking in tongues
Speaker 3: and shit. I think that that opens doorways just as much.
Speaker 3: I think that it's.
Speaker 4: An interesting conversation to have because I don't know if
Speaker 4: I've ever said that I think I have on podcasts
Speaker 4: before that that's the type of denomination I grew up.
Speaker 3: I heard you say that on a podcast.
Speaker 4: Before I knew you say good, I have said it.
Speaker 3: I didn't. I wasn't spilling the beans, Pentecastle.
Speaker 4: Pente Castle. We did my entire family. Sometimes. You know
Speaker 4: what's odd about it, though, and you know so. I
Speaker 4: don't like to split hairs or anything or say my
Speaker 4: family special, but when everyone would in my grandpa's church
Speaker 4: would start breaking out speaking in tongues. I never got
Speaker 4: the creeps when my family did it, but there was
Speaker 4: like random people that would come to the church and
Speaker 4: start doing it, and I would get like freaked out
Speaker 4: and like get chills and like feel weird and feel
Speaker 4: nasty when they did it.
Speaker 3: Well, let's think of it like this, the psychedelic thing
Speaker 3: we were talking about. There's doors that can be opened
Speaker 3: in many ways. Just like with psychedelics. You can bring
Speaker 3: back some dark shit. You can go to some dimensions
Speaker 3: that maybe you really don't belong in, and maybe all
Speaker 3: of them are dimensions you don't belong in, and maybe
Speaker 3: we shouldn't be eating them. I'm open to that too.
Speaker 3: I've done a lot of shit that I shouldn't have
Speaker 3: done to me. Psychedelics don't feel like they did any
Speaker 3: They did way more good than they did. But I
Speaker 3: know that's not always the case. And I never would
Speaker 3: like tell people like you just need to do mushrooms,
Speaker 3: bro I wouldn't broke in them because I think there's
Speaker 3: certain types of people that should have an experience. I
Speaker 3: think it would help a lot of people, but I
Speaker 3: also think a lot of people would probably snap.
Speaker 4: That's why you were the inspiration behind me starting this
Speaker 4: little mini series is because the type of conversation we're
Speaker 4: having right now, we have when we're not recording right
Speaker 4: and these type of conversations had got me to thinking
Speaker 4: that the phenomenon itself is fascinating. Sleep paralysis I don't
Speaker 4: think can be explained as a health problem, no, And
Speaker 4: it just got me looking into paranormal, spiritual and like
Speaker 4: psychedelic experiences that kind of merge into one with sleepers.
Speaker 4: It's just.
Speaker 3: Now it's a good folcal point.
Speaker 4: Thaking the different aspects you could look into about it.
Speaker 4: I mean, that's why you're my guest tonight is because
Speaker 4: not only have you experienced sleep paralysis, but you've experienced
Speaker 4: the before and after of like DMT and the effect
Speaker 4: it had on your sleep paralysis.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we could talk about that a little bit too,
Speaker 3: if you want, because I, you know, I said it
Speaker 3: was fifteen when I had my first experience. I ended
Speaker 3: up going to college. I studied film in Arizona, and
Speaker 3: it was like a shitty community college in Scottsdale, but
Speaker 3: they had a fucking film department and nursing department. There
Speaker 3: was like normal college level stuff. And then you like
Speaker 3: all these other people doing their pre wrecks, and I
Speaker 3: had a lot of I hadn't eaten psychedelics yet, but
Speaker 3: I was really expanding my mind in ways that I
Speaker 3: wasn't when I I was growing up. Of course, everybody
Speaker 3: gets out on their own and they tend to do that,
Speaker 3: but I started. I was smoking marijuana very heavily. And
Speaker 3: she probably thinks I'm a heavy smoker now, but she
Speaker 3: has no idea how much I used to smoke. And
Speaker 3: I was having some weirdass experiences. One night in particular,
Speaker 3: I fell asleep listening to music and it was like
Speaker 3: when I was a little kid at that farmhouse I
Speaker 3: was talking about. I was hovering over the speaker. This was,
Speaker 3: you know, early two thousands. We didn't have soundbars, but
Speaker 3: we had like surround sound and then the main two
Speaker 3: front speakers. And I was in the corner of the room,
Speaker 3: hovering above that and realized that I saw myself asleep
Speaker 3: on the couch. And as soon as I realized that
Speaker 3: was me, right back into my body woke up. Fine.
Speaker 3: Didn't have sleep paralysis on that occasion, but it was
Speaker 3: weird fuck. And I used to like get really stoned
Speaker 3: and listen to music and I would fucking kind of
Speaker 3: start to levitate, but it wasn't my body, but it
Speaker 3: would just be like maybe starting to kind of lift,
Speaker 3: but my body's still in bed. And I looked into
Speaker 3: a lot of shit, and I was still kind of
Speaker 3: like borderline trying to be a Christian at this point,
Speaker 3: and I took some World religion classes. I looked into
Speaker 3: all everything I could, and I really just wanted to
Speaker 3: believe that all Christianity needed to be was about love
Speaker 3: and forgiveness, like that guy would tell me later, And
Speaker 3: if it is for you, that's great, and if it's not,
Speaker 3: I don't judge you for any of it. But I
Speaker 3: just don't like when it comes with fear. And when
Speaker 3: I shed I say I shed like my the grip
Speaker 3: that Christianity had on me. It's more accurate to say
Speaker 3: that I shed my fear of eternal damnation, of needing
Speaker 3: to be saved, of being just peace is a shit
Speaker 3: from the day you're born, that need to like have
Speaker 3: this blood ritual to go to heaven or whatever. And
Speaker 3: I know that's cut and dry, but that is what
Speaker 3: a lot of people do believe. And if you're a
Speaker 3: Christian who doesn't believe in that, great I don't consider
Speaker 3: myself a Christian. I just think that there's a lot
Speaker 3: of interesting things in the books. Jesus seems like a
Speaker 3: pretty cool motherfucker. He to me more seems like a
Speaker 3: radical than like a prophet. And maybe a lot of
Speaker 3: that stuff did happen, and maybe it didn't. It doesn't
Speaker 3: really matter. The word that he spoke is what should
Speaker 3: be focused on. So anyway, Uh Now, I didn't do
Speaker 3: drugs until after college. Is as far as like psychedelics go.
Speaker 3: I was twenty two and I did mushrooms. Had a
Speaker 3: crazy experience. It sucked for the first hour I thought
Speaker 3: I was dying, and then when I got over that,
Speaker 3: it was one of the best experiences I ever had.
Speaker 3: It would be probably six months later that I ate
Speaker 3: mushrooms again. But in between those two times, I smoke
Speaker 3: DMT the first time and then I kind of just
Speaker 3: started like doing them on a regular basis. I did
Speaker 3: a lot of mescaline. I did a lot of shit
Speaker 3: I shouldn't have done. I mean, there's a lot of
Speaker 3: like in the black market, there's a lot of these
Speaker 3: research chemicals and stuff that they'll take like MDMA and
Speaker 3: tweak them all the kills and you'll get two CB
Speaker 3: or I mean there's a whole variety of two C whatever.
Speaker 3: And some of them are fucking just speed and you
Speaker 3: hallucinate and it's not fun. Some of them are great.
Speaker 3: You feel you fork. It feels kind of like molly.
Speaker 3: But that kind of shit I kind of regret doing.
Speaker 3: I had fun a few times, but I'm sure that
Speaker 3: I did brand damage at least a little bit. As
Speaker 3: far as like eating mushrooms and smoking DMT goes. I
Speaker 3: don't regret any of that. Mescaline's great. It's like you
Speaker 3: can just totally be with it. I hate LSD always did.
Speaker 3: I felt like a locked filine cabinet when mushrooms made
Speaker 3: me feel like I was in a meadow and I
Speaker 3: saw things that later on, when I was making a
Speaker 3: documentary about psychedelics, just I fucking stumbled the name k
Speaker 3: Ultra always been a conspiracy theory or yeah, conspiracy theory guy.
Speaker 3: So as soon as I saw that shit, I stopped
Speaker 3: the fucking project. I was in the middle of it.
Speaker 3: I had gotten like a dozen interviews from these doctors,
Speaker 3: these professors, these activists. Rick Doblin, for MAPS, was scheduled
Speaker 3: to have an interview with me, And now I know
Speaker 3: that guy's a piece of shit. Tight end with Joe
Speaker 3: Rogan and this new push of the mk ultra.
Speaker 4: Stuff in k Ultra slash DMT, well it's a.
Speaker 3: Part of it now. And then you're getting all these
Speaker 3: other elements of it, like the artificial intelligence virtual reality
Speaker 3: shit that they're starting to talk about merging the two together,
Speaker 3: which is what Terence McKinnon preached. And he was a
Speaker 3: CIA guy, just like Timothy Leary before him with LSD.
Speaker 3: And so it does concern me that you see a
Speaker 3: lot of the like I love it for it, there's
Speaker 3: a push for it and a push into some pretty
Speaker 3: unsavory territory when it could be a positive thing and
Speaker 3: I think it's very elementary to sell it on podcasts.
Speaker 4: Well, so, how did your experiences with hallucinogens affect your
Speaker 4: sleep paralysis?
Speaker 3: So kind of in tandem with like getting out of
Speaker 3: high school and going to college, starting to like expand
Speaker 3: my horizons, I decided to try to not be afraid
Speaker 3: when the sleep paralysis took hold, because back then it
Speaker 3: was pretty you know, regular, and like I described with
Speaker 3: my first experience, I would always lock up when I
Speaker 3: would be awake, and I would try to move my body,
Speaker 3: lock up and start seizing. I never knew if that
Speaker 3: was me my body doing that, or that was like
Speaker 3: you're having trouble re entering your body or whatever, the fuck.
Speaker 3: But I did get it verified twice now, once by you,
Speaker 3: and several years ago with my first like serious girlfriend.
Speaker 3: We were together for six years and when I was
Speaker 3: first dating her, we fell asleep on her dad's couch
Speaker 3: and I had it happen and she freaked out. She
Speaker 3: was like Colby, and I could see her shaking me,
Speaker 3: trying to wake me, and I couldn't do anything about it.
Speaker 3: And then I finally got out of it and pulled
Speaker 3: through it, and she was like, what the fuck was
Speaker 3: that And I said, that's sleep paralysis and she's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: you were like convulsing. I said, I know, I could
Speaker 3: see you the whole time. I just can't fucking move
Speaker 3: when it's going on. I don't know if my eyes
Speaker 3: are closed or open. She said they were closed, but
Speaker 3: I could see her. So I always never knew that either,
Speaker 3: like were my eyes closed or open? And with you,
Speaker 3: something similar happened, like I don't know, around the end
Speaker 3: of last year, after you'd been living here for a
Speaker 3: few months. Do you remember.
Speaker 4: You told me, well, go ahead and describe it.
Speaker 3: I don't remember exactly which one it was, because there
Speaker 3: was one night when I was like just sitting straight
Speaker 3: up and like throwing my arms up and stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and then there was another one where you've I had
Speaker 3: my back to you and I was convulsing like that. Yes,
Speaker 3: So I don't know, like what, well, you told me.
Speaker 4: In one episode you tried to take me with you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but this is not one of the times that
Speaker 3: you saw me having it. But so that's kind of
Speaker 3: getting ahead because now that I have control of the
Speaker 3: sleep paralysis, I can like play with it, and I
Speaker 3: know that these fucking guys that are more Christian think
Speaker 3: that's dangerous. But I'll tell you what's dangerous to me
Speaker 3: is when I fight it and I'm scared and I
Speaker 3: fucking have a seizure.
Speaker 4: Have you ever heard voices telling you to kill me?
Speaker 3: Or no? But John Lennon just like Butters, Oh my god. Uh.
Speaker 3: I So I know that something's up because there's things
Speaker 3: that happen even when I don't have sleep paralysis, where
Speaker 3: I'm starting to drift to sleep and I'm not quite asleep,
Speaker 3: not quite awake. I hear people having conversations talking about
Speaker 3: shit that I wouldn't be able to imagine, just like
Speaker 3: random people's names like I did. And sometimes there are
Speaker 3: voices I like think I recognize them. Sometimes it's like
Speaker 3: I don't know who the fuck that is. Sometimes it's
Speaker 3: not English, and it's just like weird babble.
Speaker 4: When you're drowsing off.
Speaker 3: Yes, and that thing sometimes during sleep paralysis is like
Speaker 3: screaming at me. And it's mainly when i'm fighting it,
Speaker 3: like then I'm doing the convulscene, Like I hear like
Speaker 3: screams and these people it's like the show Legion that
Speaker 3: we watched.
Speaker 4: I don't feel like this is torment.
Speaker 3: It can be, but I haven't had these bad experiences
Speaker 3: with it for years. It used to be tormented, Yeah
Speaker 3: it was, and now it's like something that happens. And
Speaker 3: when it does, sometimes I play with it and have
Speaker 3: fun and I start lucid dreaming. One thing I can
Speaker 3: do is start lucid dreaming on command. After I break
Speaker 3: through sleep paralysis, I know I'm not awake. I can
Speaker 3: do anything I want. And for some reason, I usually
Speaker 3: fly like I'll just start flying, like I'm a fucking
Speaker 3: little boy, and I'm so scared of heights and flying,
Speaker 3: but in that I could feel completely safe. But the
Speaker 3: first time that I ever had a lucid dream where
Speaker 3: I decided to fly, this is kind of funny. I
Speaker 3: work at a place where I have to move around
Speaker 3: shit with a forklift and I have to it's very mundane,
Speaker 3: and just move palettes and shit. And I was in
Speaker 3: the dream knowing it was a dream, and I was
Speaker 3: on my forklift at work and I was like, this
Speaker 3: is a dream, and I just turned the fucking forklift
Speaker 3: into like a I don't know, like a helicopter or something.
Speaker 3: It just floated and I went over downtown Ashland, where
Speaker 3: the town I work in and I like saw buildings
Speaker 3: I recognized, and it felt so fucking real, but I
Speaker 3: knew it was a dream. And so I've done that
Speaker 3: many times, and I've done other things. I've gone to
Speaker 3: concerts and shit like I want to see this band
Speaker 3: singing this song, and I'll go watch that.
Speaker 4: And you said one night. What freaks me out is
Speaker 4: because you said, one night you could hear me dreaming.
Speaker 3: Just my mind, I could hear your thoughts. It seemed
Speaker 3: like because I asked you what it's like to be
Speaker 3: inside your head and you said, well, I said, because
Speaker 3: last night I was slipping into sleep and it sounded
Speaker 3: like your voice, but it was just like several thoughts
Speaker 3: overlapping each other to the point where it was just
Speaker 3: like hard to keep track of and it was your voice.
Speaker 4: Well, that's an actual accurate description of what it's like
Speaker 4: to be in my mind. But so do you feel
Speaker 4: like when you're leaving your body in this way, like
Speaker 4: this is astral projecting?
Speaker 3: I think sometimes it is. I think sometimes I'm actually dreaming,
Speaker 3: and it's hard to tell the difference. But the first
Speaker 3: time this happened, and this is the time that I
Speaker 3: defeated the sleep paralysis I didn't site it at all.
Speaker 3: And it's also the most intense experiences I've ever had
Speaker 3: with it, kind of like the first time I smoked
Speaker 3: the MTAM I first left. Okay, so in a nutshell,
Speaker 3: that same ex girlfriend that I was telling you about.
Speaker 3: I was asleep in their guest room and it was
Speaker 3: right on the edge of a creek in the forest,
Speaker 3: like this guy's backyard was the forest. And we had
Speaker 3: been doing a lot of mushrooms, like you know, every
Speaker 3: few days we would go out, just do a little
Speaker 3: bit and then we would trip big. But this was
Speaker 3: like on a break, hadn't done in a while all.
Speaker 3: But I fell asleep and everything just turned real visual
Speaker 3: as I started to fall asleep, and I heard noises
Speaker 3: coming from outside, and I tried to wake up, and
Speaker 3: I had the paraly sensation, and I was very calm,
Speaker 3: and I just said, I don't need to move, I'm breathing.
Speaker 3: I know I'm breathing. I'm still alive. And I just
Speaker 3: kind of like calmly talked myself through it. And then
Speaker 3: that seizure feeling that usually is like when I fight it,
Speaker 3: it just started like shaking my whole body. And then
Speaker 3: I rose above my body. I rose right above my
Speaker 3: chest and I had that three sixty vision and I
Speaker 3: just started like hearing the spinning noise, just going whoa,
Speaker 3: and it just got faster and faster until I was
Speaker 3: a hum and I'm like thinking, this is intense, but
Speaker 3: I've made it this far. I'm not going to back
Speaker 3: out now. And then just everything just kind of lit up.
Speaker 3: And I was hovering in that bedroom and I went
Speaker 3: down the hallway, went through the kitchen doorway, and my
Speaker 3: girlfriend and her dad were sitting on the couch. But
Speaker 3: it wasn't them. It was like very similar people to them.
Speaker 3: Their hair was different and I kind of like just
Speaker 3: hovered around in front of them. They couldn't see me.
Speaker 3: They were watching TV and it was like Oprah, but
Speaker 3: it wasn't Oprah. It was like another Oprah that doesn't
Speaker 3: exist here, but it's just like an Oprah esque person.
Speaker 3: And they were like laughing and he like patted her
Speaker 3: on the leg and he really did that. That was
Speaker 3: something he did. But I mean it was like a
Speaker 3: variation of them. And this is before all the fucking
Speaker 3: Marvel shit. So when all that shit started getting big,
Speaker 3: I could actually explain this to people better, like I
Speaker 3: really feel like I was like a neighboring dimension that
Speaker 3: was real similar to ours, but also different in a
Speaker 3: lot of ways. It was the same house, but it
Speaker 3: really wasn't. Things were different, just minute details were off.
Speaker 3: And that time I floated right back to my body
Speaker 3: and I woke up just totally peacefully. And from then on,
Speaker 3: very few times do I fight it. Every once in
Speaker 3: a while, to this day, I will fight it. And
Speaker 3: the last time it happened was, like I said, it
Speaker 3: was at your family's house.
Speaker 4: What happened.
Speaker 3: I I haven't told you the details of this just
Speaker 3: because I don't want you to think I'm saying anything negative.
Speaker 4: About my team.
Speaker 3: Well, just this experience because it was freaky and I
Speaker 3: feel kind of weird talking about it really.
Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, okay.
Speaker 3: So just some vague backstory to not get too personal.
Speaker 3: Julia and two of her cousins that are sisters to
Speaker 3: each other and myself we're all talking one night and
Speaker 3: we were talking about some dark ass family history and
Speaker 3: like demonic stuff came up, and that night it didn't happen.
Speaker 4: I mean, we were traveled into the night.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then the next night we hadn't been talking
Speaker 3: about it, at all, but I was on a weird
Speaker 3: schedule because we were in the Eastern time zone three
Speaker 3: hour difference, and I just we're there for four days,
Speaker 3: so I decided to not sit so I would go
Speaker 3: to bed at like five and just watch shit. But
Speaker 3: on our last night there, I turned the TV off,
Speaker 3: thinking I should get some sleep before we get up
Speaker 3: to the head of the airport. And I was kind
Speaker 3: of in a loopy mood, you know how you feel
Speaker 3: when you're like traveling and like not sleeping in your
Speaker 3: own bed. And I was laying like with on my
Speaker 3: stomach with my arm up under my pillow, and I
Speaker 3: just felt like it normally does, drifting to sleep. And
Speaker 3: then all of a sudden, like there was a bolt,
Speaker 3: like a jolt through my entire body, and I kind
Speaker 3: of had my hand sticking out. It's like one of
Speaker 3: those headboards that's like a metal frame that you can
Speaker 3: like dangle your arm through. But there was a wall
Speaker 3: there and my hand was kind of between the wall
Speaker 3: and the handrail or the headboard rail, and something grabbed it,
Speaker 3: like and I couldn't move, and I felt heard it
Speaker 3: just it was like it just said demon and I
Speaker 3: thought it had me and I was like, this is
Speaker 3: fucking bad, like like we're not home, I'm gonna get up,
Speaker 3: like and I don't even know if it was really
Speaker 3: a demon, but I remember having these thoughts like this
Speaker 3: is this would be so fucked up if I let
Speaker 3: a demon possess me where we're visiting her family, my god,
Speaker 3: and there's like her cousins, they're like high school age
Speaker 3: or your second cousins. They're like asleep in the next rooms.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I can't get possessed by Like what
Speaker 3: if I make what if I make a scene?
Speaker 4: What if you go ronde fayo and shoot my whole family?
Speaker 3: I don't know, but I just fought it.
Speaker 4: Like it was touching me.
Speaker 3: It was grabbing my wrist and pulling, and I had
Speaker 3: that sleep paralysis sensation where like I was just fucking convulsive.
Speaker 3: Told me, I told told you I had sleep paralysis
Speaker 3: and it was bad. I didn't give you any details
Speaker 3: about it until now, But honey, beyond, I think it
Speaker 3: was something there because wherever I.
Speaker 4: Am, well it's in her house, is in the middle
Speaker 4: of nowhere, it's.
Speaker 3: In the middle of like Amish country. Yeah, so what's
Speaker 3: gone on there? Well, what fucking burial ground did your
Speaker 3: fucking cousin build her house on because I I don't know,
Speaker 3: Like I don't want to say, like, I have like
Speaker 3: a doorway that I can take with me wherever I go.
Speaker 3: And we're actually watching a movie about this right now,
Speaker 3: where this little kid when he dreams he opened the door,
Speaker 3: he changes reality for those around him. It's a Flannagan movie,
Speaker 3: Mike Flanning it but we haven't finished it yet. But yeah,
Speaker 3: like insidious and stuff like. I could see why people
Speaker 3: just roll with this element of it because I don't
Speaker 3: think I'd be able to live there, like in the house.
Speaker 4: If in my cousin's house.
Speaker 3: This is where I was sleeping that night, I don't
Speaker 3: want to sleep there ever. Again, do you.
Speaker 4: Think it had something to do with what we were
Speaker 4: talking about the night before? Probably because we were dressing
Speaker 4: some real serious issues, Yes, and in my family, but
Speaker 4: about demons.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a bizarre experience. It was unique, and
Speaker 3: I'm not serious, Like, if we go visit your family again,
Speaker 3: I'll sleep there, but I might just take some fucking
Speaker 3: speed or something to stay awake.
Speaker 4: I always sleep on the couch. I've never felt comfortable
Speaker 4: sleeping in that bedroom alone. I've always wanted to sleep
Speaker 4: on the couch. That was the first trip I've ever
Speaker 4: been to her house where I've slept in that room.
Speaker 3: You moved on up bringing home a man hit the bed, But.
Speaker 4: I mean, so, so how long did that last?
Speaker 3: A while? Really? Well, I mean these are all it's
Speaker 3: like psychedelics and these these whatever fucking realms. These are
Speaker 3: that you can experience in sleep paralysis and like when
Speaker 3: you work with it and leave. And I'm not telling
Speaker 3: anybody to try this and to like surrender to your
Speaker 3: sleep paralysis if you're scared of it and you don't
Speaker 3: want to face it. But don't that be.
Speaker 4: Your advice though? To someone who's tear of.
Speaker 3: Having it, Well, the thing that makes it terrifying is
Speaker 3: fighting it.
Speaker 4: What if they're having like what you saw at my
Speaker 4: cousin's house every night, well, fuck it, surrendered to it.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm glad that I don't your advice.
Speaker 3: I mean this, boo, go live with your grandma. Hope
Speaker 3: it's better there, But you know, I don't. Maybe it
Speaker 3: was just like a combination of things. Maybe that was
Speaker 3: my interpretation of the experience, but it was like I
Speaker 3: never have the idea of like a demon.
Speaker 4: I'm telling you it's real in my family. Do you
Speaker 4: remember the stories of me growing up in my grandma's
Speaker 4: house and all the stuff we saw there?
Speaker 3: Of course, and my family has it too, like I'm going.
Speaker 3: Julia knows I'm going through something kind of personal with
Speaker 3: my own father, and he has a fucking curse in
Speaker 3: his lineage that he's succumbing to. It seems like and
Speaker 3: like it's got me wondering, am I gonna like I
Speaker 3: crack out at sixty something?
Speaker 4: Broke that away from you?
Speaker 3: Well? Also, my dad has never been a good sleeper,
Speaker 3: and I sleep very little four hours a night. I
Speaker 3: get my best sleep, like from six in the morning
Speaker 3: to however long I sleep in, But it's hard for me.
Speaker 4: It's time moved in that you've been getting good sleep.
Speaker 3: I've been getting better sleep, but I also don't sleep
Speaker 3: a lot. Like it'll go it'll be like maybe eight
Speaker 3: hours one night and then like three nights in a
Speaker 3: earl where I only gets three to four hours of sleep.
Speaker 3: And my dad's in the same way. And I always
Speaker 3: wondered because I heard some about some studies that said
Speaker 3: the brain damage that happens when you're not getting enough
Speaker 3: sleep is like a lot of the cause of dementia
Speaker 3: and Alzheimer's. And these are just theories, but I've heard
Speaker 3: enough people say it that it's got me concerns. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but I don't like, you know, I sleep in like
Speaker 3: two or three days a week where I have I
Speaker 3: can have opportunity to sleep in, and then the other
Speaker 3: like I just can't go to bed early. So if
Speaker 3: I go to bed late and have to get up early,
Speaker 3: those are nights where But anyway, yeah, I have slept better.
Speaker 3: The sleep paralysis has been less of a thing since
Speaker 3: you've been here. But I mean I could tell stories
Speaker 3: and stories about stuff I've done when I've had sleep paralysis,
Speaker 3: like things that I think I've seen, whether they're dreams,
Speaker 3: whether it's astral projection, psychedelic stories. But one in particular
Speaker 3: that Julia alluded to earlier, I was having these dreams
Speaker 3: for about a week. And I also had these dreams
Speaker 3: before you got here, and it was something about a portal,
Speaker 3: that there's a portal right here, and it's all I know.
Speaker 3: It's a week our well, like somewhere back here and
Speaker 3: like in our studio. But this is just I don't
Speaker 3: mean you to think I believe this is real.
Speaker 4: Okay, let's just say really saying in the studio are you.
Speaker 3: Saying don't know where it is. This is a recurring
Speaker 3: dream that I've had for years since I've lived in here.
Speaker 3: It's like in this house. Yes, it's like a David
Speaker 3: Lynch type dream. It's surreal. There's weird noises, things just
Speaker 3: aren't normal. And I always see a guy with a
Speaker 3: cowboy hat standing in front of the house, and then
Speaker 3: I see a woman like pushing a wagon, and she says,
Speaker 3: protect the portal, and they both look back here like
Speaker 3: from our front, like if you're standing where we park,
Speaker 3: like on the sidewalk behind the car. They're like looking
Speaker 3: back towards the backyard or this end of the house
Speaker 3: like this, she says that, and then they look. And
Speaker 3: then when you moved here, it started turning into somebody's coming.
Speaker 3: They're on their way, and we got to get the
Speaker 3: fuck out of here, and it's real currying. I told
Speaker 3: you if we did this podcast, I was gonna say
Speaker 3: some shit that may upset you. And you thought I
Speaker 3: was going to other places. I bet I did. Like
Speaker 3: I didn't want to scare you. But you wanted to
Speaker 3: have out. No, like in the dream, just like in the.
Speaker 4: Dream of the poor, we need to get the fuck out.
Speaker 3: This is the same atmosphere, and no, I have that feeling.
Speaker 3: I have this foreknowledge in the dream. I'm aware. I
Speaker 3: don't know how I know it. I don't know if
Speaker 3: I got a phone call, because the dream just starts
Speaker 3: right there, like you're here, oh cowboy. No, that's the
Speaker 3: other dream where there's a portal, but when you moved
Speaker 3: in the dream switched to. Every time I have that dream,
Speaker 3: it's the same feeling, the same atmosphere. I'm out in
Speaker 3: the front yard knowing they're on their way. I don't
Speaker 3: know who they are. They have guns, and we have
Speaker 3: to get the fuck out of here in the dream,
Speaker 3: and I always do. I always get us out of
Speaker 3: here in the dream.
Speaker 4: And I wake up, you better get us out.
Speaker 3: So then while this is happening, and sometimes there's like
Speaker 3: people that show up in the dream and I don't
Speaker 3: know who they are in this reality, but in that dream,
Speaker 3: I know them. I don't know how I know them. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and they're like, you know, they're helping, They're like, yeah,
Speaker 3: giving me tips on like they're you know just if
Speaker 3: it was a movie, they would be like side characters
Speaker 3: that show up. But anyway, I was having this dream
Speaker 3: once and then I like started experiencing a slight bit
Speaker 3: of sleep paralysis. And sometimes now it just goes straight
Speaker 3: from like yeah, you can't move and you're not freaking
Speaker 3: out about it, but then hovering above my body. And
Speaker 3: it's weird because you know how I said, there's the
Speaker 3: three sixty vision. Sometimes it's like you're still not quite
Speaker 3: this can from your body yet, and you're you're still
Speaker 3: like seeing.
Speaker 4: I don't know because I just have this shit. You
Speaker 4: you're talking to me like I fucking understand. I don't
Speaker 4: get the sentiment. I don't get the sentiment.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, not expecting you to understand.
Speaker 4: You can describe it to me. I can sympathize, but
Speaker 4: I don't have this shit.
Speaker 3: But in this scenario, I know that I'm leaving my body,
Speaker 3: but and I can see my own body and I
Speaker 3: can see you.
Speaker 4: And I like, is it me or is it a
Speaker 4: dream of me? Am I wearing my night clothes and
Speaker 4: this is.
Speaker 3: Exactly what we look like in bed, So I don't
Speaker 3: know if it's a dream. I don't know if it's
Speaker 3: what it is, like I feel like.
Speaker 4: It's wrong my body pillow, and like, well.
Speaker 3: This was before the body pillow. This was this is
Speaker 3: like I want to say, maybe last November, okay, And
Speaker 3: i'd been having those recurrane dreams that kind of shifted
Speaker 3: when you got here and I knew that I was
Speaker 3: floating away and I saw you and I didn't want
Speaker 3: to leave you there, and I brought you with me
Speaker 3: like you also left and we were like holding hands.
Speaker 3: It sounds like a fucking cheesy movie. And we like
Speaker 3: floated into the living room and we couldn't get past
Speaker 3: the doorway. And then I look over and Dexter's coming
Speaker 3: with us. My fucking retarded dog is like floating behind us,
Speaker 3: going like he does. I couldn't see your face or mine,
Speaker 3: but I could see Dexter's dumbass. And then I was like,
Speaker 3: everything's okay. We don't have.
Speaker 4: The house exactly.
Speaker 3: His soul is like bonded to us somehow because I
Speaker 3: was trying to but and then when I saw him,
Speaker 3: it like made me think, They're like, I don't know,
Speaker 3: this is just a drill. I don't we don't really
Speaker 3: got to leave. And then back in.
Speaker 4: My body, and you said I didn't want to leave
Speaker 4: off the couch too, because you were like, come on, yeah,
Speaker 4: it was like I don't forgot.
Speaker 3: I forgot about that, So you're scared. You start you
Speaker 3: started dangling down and like weighing yourself to the couch
Speaker 3: and you're like, I don't want to do this, and
Speaker 3: I was like, it's easy. It's like it's like Peter Panshit.
Speaker 4: That literally sounds like me.
Speaker 3: I know you would be scared.
Speaker 4: I would be.
Speaker 3: But anyway, that was just like a brief thing that happened.
Speaker 3: And like I said, these could be dreams.
Speaker 4: There could be a portal.
Speaker 3: I think dreams. I think dreams are portals. See. I
Speaker 3: think when it comes to like psychic abilities, the abilities
Speaker 3: to do this, whether it's a curse or something that
Speaker 3: you just that you have, we all had that at
Speaker 3: some point.
Speaker 4: But don't you feel like you are a little bit
Speaker 4: more susceptible than the average joke?
Speaker 3: I don't know, dude, because when I was a little kid.
Speaker 4: Even as a small child, you were seeing but on
Speaker 4: the other side of the veil or whatever.
Speaker 3: They say, Yeah, but I've not seen a ghost since
Speaker 3: I was that young, So maybe the door was opened
Speaker 3: back then, they.
Speaker 4: Would you consider to be like, Okay, you haven't seen
Speaker 4: the ghost of a dead person, but think of all
Speaker 4: the stuff you've seen in your dreams and all the
Speaker 4: like weird sleep paralysis, and they were doing this and
Speaker 4: that that's all paranormal.
Speaker 3: Oh for sure it is.
Speaker 4: That's why it doesn't have to be like the ghost
Speaker 4: of a dead part.
Speaker 3: But the reason I've always been drawn to the paranormal always,
Speaker 3: which is what led me into conspiracy, because they are
Speaker 3: so intertwined. Yes, is having experienced shit that I didn't
Speaker 3: think was normal because it wasn't. My brother started experiencing
Speaker 3: sleep paralysis as an adult. It sounds like maybe he
Speaker 3: said he had it younger. I don't remember, do you.
Speaker 4: He said, like a young adult.
Speaker 3: Well that's what I thought, And that's when it started
Speaker 3: getting really intense for me. But yeah, I don't. I
Speaker 3: think there's something up, in particular with the valley that
Speaker 3: I'm from, with my mom's family and my dad's family,
Speaker 3: there's a lot of darkness in both. There's a lot
Speaker 3: of weird shit. And then I visited your family and
Speaker 3: saw you guys have just as much and like.
Speaker 4: There's these experienced there's.
Speaker 3: These generational ties. Yes, I know, and there's doorways that
Speaker 3: I don't know. Like I said, I think that all
Speaker 3: of us have this but through floride and television, and
Speaker 3: like maybe us who still experience it in this reality,
Speaker 3: you know, maybe we have large holes in our head
Speaker 3: that don't get clogged so easily. But one of the
Speaker 3: things I always said about psychedelics was it's not adding
Speaker 3: anything to your experience. Your brain is constantly limiting your
Speaker 3: experience because if you saw reality as it is is,
Speaker 3: you wouldn't be able to function as a human. You
Speaker 3: wouldn't be able to make your kids lunch before school,
Speaker 3: you wouldn't be able to have a fucking alarm clock,
Speaker 3: you wouldn't be able to wipe your ass for real.
Speaker 3: It could be, but it also could be like the
Speaker 3: path that I don't believe in anymore that I once did,
Speaker 3: is that it could be utopia. I think the experiences
Speaker 3: are valuable sometimes, but I don't think it's the answer.
Speaker 3: I think it's a fucking tool, and you can really
Speaker 3: misused tools, so you can use tools to do great things.
Speaker 4: And I actually want to get your opinion on something,
Speaker 4: but it's gonna switch gears a little bit.
Speaker 3: Well, good, I feel like we've been on the same
Speaker 3: gear for a while. Anyway, what else is there to
Speaker 3: say as far as that goes, like did.
Speaker 4: You have anything you wanted to sum up from your
Speaker 4: experiences or I.
Speaker 3: Mean, like I said, there's like if you hit a
Speaker 3: question that like triggers some like a story, but there's lots.
Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like I gave a good analysis
Speaker 3: or over good overview of all the stuff that sticks
Speaker 3: out that's worth talking about because there's so many experiences.
Speaker 3: It used to, like I said, it used to happen
Speaker 3: like several times a month. There's fucking spurts where it
Speaker 3: happens nightly and then I won't have it for six months.
Speaker 3: So it's just it's pretty unpredictable at this point.
Speaker 4: Do you feel like it corresponds with whether or not
Speaker 4: like you've been drinking or like eating?
Speaker 3: Not at all. No, I've tried to track all that stuff,
Speaker 3: and just like fasting, I used to do a lot
Speaker 3: of intermitt and fasting. I used to eat a lot
Speaker 3: cleaner than I e now. I used to drink less
Speaker 3: than I do now. I used to I've always pretty
Speaker 3: much smoked the pot, So maybe that's the problem. It's
Speaker 3: goddamn Mary Gianna. But I think certain things affect sleep
Speaker 3: in ways that we don't know. The best sleep I
Speaker 3: ever get and I don't experience sleep paralysis at all
Speaker 3: is if I go to Better for a few beers.
Speaker 4: Is that why you drink nightly?
Speaker 3: That's why I start drinking more is because I don't
Speaker 3: sleep very well.
Speaker 4: I think the answer to not having sleep paralysis is
Speaker 4: to poison body.
Speaker 3: It's not sleep paralysis that I'm afraid of. It's I
Speaker 3: can't sleep. I lay in bed, awake.
Speaker 4: Try a meal.
Speaker 3: I've put. I've had melatonin suppositories. They feel good going in.
Speaker 4: No body works makes this sleepy spray that you spray
Speaker 4: all along.
Speaker 3: All I needed is some bath and body works to
Speaker 3: get rid of sleep paralysis.
Speaker 4: It's like a lavender tea tree. I can rub it
Speaker 4: on your feet for you.
Speaker 3: Smell. You're gonna say taint. It feels the way you
Speaker 3: describe it. It sounds like it smelled delightful.
Speaker 4: It does, Oh my goodness, it puts me right to sleep.
Speaker 3: But like I said, I've worked through years of all
Speaker 3: of this. I've been telling you that I want to
Speaker 3: get back into running. When I exercise on a semi
Speaker 3: consistent basis. You know, jog a few days a week.
Speaker 3: I sleep a lot better. I sleep a lot better
Speaker 3: if I have a beer or two before bed. I've
Speaker 3: never tried any medications. I would never take a ban
Speaker 3: or anything like that. But and you know, there's lots
Speaker 3: of things I could do, and just wearing myself out
Speaker 3: sometimes makes it harder to sleep. I feel exhausted all
Speaker 3: day long, and then I come home from work feels tired,
Speaker 3: and then I lay awake in bed and I feel
Speaker 3: like I should be a fucking sleep but my eyes
Speaker 3: are just opened.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, so I do want to get your
Speaker 4: opinion on something that is going to take us on
Speaker 4: a little bit of a detour now. So was there
Speaker 4: anything you wanted to final thoughts on sleep paralysis before?
Speaker 4: I tangent?
Speaker 3: So we're moving completely away from sleep paralysis.
Speaker 4: It's about dreams and stuff like that.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, I mean, just to surmise, wrap up. I
Speaker 3: think I'm using that word correctly. Sleep paralysis just kind
Speaker 3: of like with the extreme DMT experiences. Sleep paralysis itself
Speaker 3: is a tunnel potentially, and it could lead to darkness underground.
Speaker 3: It can lead to you know, some inner city, place
Speaker 3: full of crackheads. It could lead to a meadow, it
Speaker 3: could lead nowhere. I mean, I think it's a lot
Speaker 3: of this ship is just a reflection of us, like
Speaker 3: who we are as a person, what work. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: mean I think we could be We could all be
Speaker 3: conduits to a certain degree of different elements of like
Speaker 3: different realities. I don't know how it all works. I
Speaker 3: know I've experienced many variations of some crazy ass shit.
Speaker 3: Like I said, even that one at your cousin's house
Speaker 3: was just like, fuck, that's new. This has been happening
Speaker 3: to me over half my life and I've never had
Speaker 3: that happen before. And I don't, Like I said, I
Speaker 3: don't know if it was geographically unique your family's experiences
Speaker 3: and the things we were talking about, but I felt
Speaker 3: like it was there, Like just was under there whatever
Speaker 3: that house is sitting on, and it's some weird land
Speaker 3: out there, it is probably got some fucking crazy ass history.
Speaker 3: Just like even we drove through where your grandparents are buried,
Speaker 3: and you could just look around and be like, there's
Speaker 3: a feeling is there was like children of the corn
Speaker 3: shit going on here probably like sixty to eighty years ago,
Speaker 3: this place just looked like a god named Stephen King
Speaker 3: novel that house.
Speaker 4: That we showed you next to the churches where we
Speaker 4: saw those demons in the house.
Speaker 3: There you go.
Speaker 4: But so you think like you're not saying the shadow
Speaker 4: people in the hag and stuff like that's just made
Speaker 4: up figments of people's imagination, are you because I don't think.
Speaker 3: Not necessarily at all. No.
Speaker 4: In fact, I think it's specific.
Speaker 3: Think about it like this, all the shit I've told
Speaker 3: you tonight, do I expect everybody to just like believe it?
Speaker 3: Do I care if they believe it. I'm not gonna
Speaker 3: pooh pooh anybody's experiences. If you saw a hag, if
Speaker 3: you saw a hat man, those are variations of something
Speaker 3: that a lot of people have seen. And so I
Speaker 3: think it's kind of like, why I don't you know,
Speaker 3: this is not really related. But I don't dismiss Bigfoot
Speaker 3: because of the people that I don't think have reasons
Speaker 3: to lie about experiencing things. I think that there's been
Speaker 3: enough people that saw the hat man, and I think
Speaker 3: people have seen these things before they even knew other
Speaker 3: people see these things. So it's kind of like DMT.
Speaker 3: There's similar entities that people see, and I've seen many
Speaker 3: of them, and they're real enough to have been experienced
Speaker 3: by multiple people. So there's some Yeah, I would say,
Speaker 3: the old Hag, the hat Man, the Guardian, the.
Speaker 4: Shadow of people. It's all real.
Speaker 3: Like I said, there's been shadow people in my psychedelic
Speaker 3: experiences and in dream that world between where I hear voices.
Speaker 3: I yeah, I think that's a huge element of slipping
Speaker 3: into a place where the physical and the spiritual are overlapping.
Speaker 3: And I do think that's what sleep paralysis is. Like
Speaker 3: that guy that had the Christian angle on it, he
Speaker 3: did say that. He also said the generational trauma thing.
Speaker 3: I think he's got a lot of right ideas about it.
Speaker 3: I just don't think it's solely demonic.
Speaker 4: Well, I will tell you I have lived in many houses,
Speaker 4: and I have experienced all kinds of crazy stuff, paranormal stuff.
Speaker 4: I've never had sleep paralysis. Thank god. I'm actually I
Speaker 4: sleep like a bear.
Speaker 3: I concur that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so when I'm asleep, i'm out. But I've never
Speaker 4: felt anything in this house.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's only dreams for me.
Speaker 4: In the dream like there might be a portal or something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what they said. The cowboy hat guy didn't sing.
Speaker 4: Me out because I've never felt anything in.
Speaker 3: This house, and maybe there's nothing.
Speaker 4: Here it I think it could be in the backyard.
Speaker 3: Well, to give you a little background, we live in
Speaker 3: the middle of a middleish smallish city, you know, eighty
Speaker 3: thousand people and we live in the like offshoot of downtown.
Speaker 3: But the property is an old farmhouse with a big
Speaker 3: ass backyard. In this house that we live in is
Speaker 3: like the old cottage that the slaves probably lived in
Speaker 3: Oregon was fucking having slaves up until like fucking twenty twenty.
Speaker 4: You could definitely tell that this was a slave house.
Speaker 3: I mean, I feel quite at home here. I get
Speaker 3: down cooking, cooking in the kitchen, I get get a
Speaker 3: little soul.
Speaker 4: Also because it has no air conditioning, barely any heat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can like put yourself into extreme hallucinatory states
Speaker 3: of mind just by standing in the kitchen in July. Yes,
Speaker 3: it's like it's like Joe Rogan, eat your heart out,
Speaker 3: hot yoga, cold plunge.
Speaker 4: Come to our en.
Speaker 3: Go turn on the sprinkler in my backyard to water
Speaker 3: the garden. That's your fucking cold plunge. Have you noticed
Speaker 3: lately all of Joe Rogan's guests come on and well,
Speaker 3: you don't listen, but they come on and they're like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I was in the middle of my daily routine. You know,
Speaker 3: I do do an hour in the sauna, a cold plunge.
Speaker 3: Oh well, it's not new. He's been pushing it for years.
Speaker 3: I need to slab a fucking raw elk liver. I
Speaker 3: shoot my boat in the backyard. Everybody's like trying to
Speaker 3: tell them they're that they're in his cold. It's hilarious.
Speaker 3: He's got to be getting bored. He's got to be
Speaker 3: of course, And you know, maybe some of them have
Speaker 3: tried to a couple times.
Speaker 4: I don't know, But you just be themselves.
Speaker 3: Your podcast doesn't get very big if you're not catering.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm happy with my numbers. You're happy with
Speaker 3: your numbers, I assume.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm happy that I make genuine connections with people
Speaker 4: that listen to mind.
Speaker 3: Well, dude, now that Joe Rogan's a Christian, I think
Speaker 3: you have a chance to get on there.
Speaker 4: You but was that it that's all you had on that?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I said, pursue if you have this phenomenon
Speaker 3: that takes place in your own life, pursue it with discretion,
Speaker 3: don't listen to anybody that doesn't feel right when they're
Speaker 3: giving you advice. Play around with it if you want to,
Speaker 3: fight it, if you want to. But I just think
Speaker 3: that there's something going on here that no belief system
Speaker 3: could could tackle and figure out.
Speaker 4: For definitely not modern medicine.
Speaker 3: No modern medicine's more laughable than the Christian thing. I'm serious, Like,
Speaker 3: this is not uh mental condition. I think that it
Speaker 3: might be like the remnants of some telepathy we all have.
Speaker 4: Well, on that note, I feel like when you're dreaming,
Speaker 4: you are going through some type of portal like experience.
Speaker 3: Consciously, there's no doubt about that, because you were somewhere
Speaker 3: else experiencing things that your physical body. You're obviously asleep,
Speaker 3: drooling on your pillow, but you're doing all sorts of
Speaker 3: crazy shit and dreams that feels so real a lot
Speaker 3: of the time.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I so, Okay, I guess it's time for an announcement.
Speaker 4: And this is intense for me. Why are you smiling?
Speaker 3: You're gonna tell everybody I have herpees.
Speaker 4: You have a scorching case of herpes.
Speaker 3: They call me the Cankerman. That's a reference to anybody
Speaker 3: who's a Mike Flanagan fan. He's the Cankerman, and he's
Speaker 3: cared to stay. He is always going to be with me.
Speaker 3: That to me is a metaphor for herpes. I'll always
Speaker 3: be with you. He calls him the Cankerman, and he's
Speaker 3: whispering into his ear. This is what's this movie called again?
Speaker 4: Before I wait?
Speaker 3: Yes, little kids got a cankerman possessing his dreams. And
Speaker 3: he sits on his chest and whispers in his ear, I'm.
Speaker 1: With you always.
Speaker 3: And then he starts scratching his inner thigh. No, he doesn't.
Speaker 3: It could be a metaphe anyway, I don't want to
Speaker 3: shoot on your announcement. I don't really have herpes.
Speaker 4: Hopefully it's actually our announcement.
Speaker 3: Well you're you're going to be the one to make it.
Speaker 3: It is our announcement.
Speaker 4: So we've done a pretty good job successfully concealing our
Speaker 4: announcement for the last six months. And I still I mean,
Speaker 4: it's hard for me to even say it, but baby
Speaker 4: Dennis will be here in two and a half months.
Speaker 3: Give or take and a half. You never know how
Speaker 3: these things finish cooking.
Speaker 4: Yeah, two and a half ish months I will be
Speaker 4: going on a maternity leave, little conspiracy baby.
Speaker 3: He's probably gonna suffer from sleep paralysis and ghost adventures.
Speaker 4: Well, he does have us for parents, so we'll see
Speaker 4: how he turns out. But it is a boy.
Speaker 3: By the way, I passed on my sleep paralysis. She
Speaker 3: passed on her love for Zach on ghost adventures.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I could have passed on my weird paranormal experiences.
Speaker 4: I mean everybody in my family has had just awful paranormal.
Speaker 3: Well, between the two of us, if he comes out
Speaker 3: just a normal, normal kid, if it'll be weird, right,
Speaker 3: Like I expect him to be a crazy little kid
Speaker 3: like I was and you too.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Well I was actually a really shy little kid.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you were.
Speaker 4: Later in life.
Speaker 3: Yeah. But just as far as like experiences, oh yeah,
Speaker 3: that stuff in our family's.
Speaker 4: Histories, definitely. I think even us coming together was destined
Speaker 4: in a way.
Speaker 3: Nick from Occult Rejects did a ritual and had us
Speaker 3: to talk about Laurel canyon On together, and.
Speaker 4: We fell in love.
Speaker 3: You fell in love.
Speaker 4: You loved me before I even knew who you were.
Speaker 3: I haven't been into married women since I was.
Speaker 1: In my twenties.
Speaker 4: You didn't know where I was married.
Speaker 3: Yes, I did. I knew you were married.
Speaker 4: When you heard my Laurel Canyon series.
Speaker 3: When you and I worked together on Nick Show about
Speaker 3: Laurel Canyon. I knew you were married at that point.
Speaker 4: You still have the hots for me, I don't care.
Speaker 3: Like I said, I married women used to do it
Speaker 3: for me. I got over that shit.
Speaker 4: But anyways, since I've been pregnant the last six months
Speaker 4: or six whatever.
Speaker 3: She every every night she has a different dream where
Speaker 3: I've I've either like chopped her arm off and thrown
Speaker 3: it in a river, or cheated on her, or she's
Speaker 3: having horrible things happened to her.
Speaker 4: Well, actually, I was.
Speaker 3: Gonna sorry to jump in there and take it.
Speaker 4: Oh, I was gonna say, I've never dreamed until I
Speaker 4: was pregnant at all.
Speaker 3: Ever.
Speaker 4: No, I mean I had dreams when I was a
Speaker 4: little kid, but in my adult years, I don't dream.
Speaker 4: I would just black out a sleep and wake up.
Speaker 4: The first time that I got pregnant, I knew something
Speaker 4: was up because I started having extremely vivid dreams. I've
Speaker 4: heard others and I found out I was pregnant.
Speaker 3: I've heard other women say that their dreams get a
Speaker 3: certain quality to them, and for you, it was just
Speaker 3: the fact that they were there at all. But yeah,
Speaker 3: that that that element changes because you're pregnant.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and this is kind of PTSD for me. But
Speaker 4: I knew something was wrong with the first pregnancy because
Speaker 4: I stopped dreaming all of a sudden.
Speaker 3: So if she goes one night without a dream, I
Speaker 3: have to take her to the year.
Speaker 4: No, But the last couple months, or actually since I've
Speaker 4: been pregnant, I've been just having this realization that my
Speaker 4: body is a portal in and of itself right now
Speaker 4: creating life.
Speaker 3: Women are portals, no doubt, and even trans of women
Speaker 3: are portals.
Speaker 4: No, they're not. The dreams I've been having have are
Speaker 4: like otherworldly, almost like where our baby is telling me
Speaker 4: that he's always been with you, and like weird.
Speaker 3: I was on a boat, yeah, fighting the sea.
Speaker 4: And it could be a metaphor for something though, because
Speaker 4: this is how the dream went.
Speaker 3: Maybe he's talking about the ocean of sleep paralysis.
Speaker 4: He's a boat in the middle of the ocean at night,
Speaker 4: and there was a million stars in the sky and
Speaker 4: the water was rough, and you were alone on the
Speaker 4: boat and you were standing at the front of the
Speaker 4: boat and you were looking up at the stars and
Speaker 4: the waves were like crashing all around, and he said
Speaker 4: that he's always been with you.
Speaker 3: Well, I appreciate that, son. You make me look like
Speaker 3: a badass. I'm on a boat.
Speaker 4: Alone in the crashing waves.
Speaker 3: And I was doing Lieutenant Dan, you will not sink
Speaker 3: this ship.
Speaker 4: Do you think it's odd?
Speaker 3: Though?
Speaker 4: No one that I'm dreaming at all. Two, that I'm
Speaker 4: having like spiritual revelations in my dreams from our baby.
Speaker 3: I mean that shit, to me is not weird at all.
Speaker 4: Saying that's why I feel like dreaming. And this wholesly
Speaker 4: paralysis thing is such a paranormal, supernatural experience because even
Speaker 4: being pregnant, these dreams are if I could even describe
Speaker 4: these dreams, it's like your worst fears and your highest
Speaker 4: hopes mixed together and like futuristic, and.
Speaker 3: It sounds like a psychedelic experience.
Speaker 4: It feels like one. And then I watched this video
Speaker 4: the other day. It said, if you're this far along
Speaker 4: in your pregnancy, it's just in again, big pharma or whatever.
Speaker 4: They just try to write it off as some medical
Speaker 4: You know, there's nothing pregnant.
Speaker 3: Take this pill right away.
Speaker 4: Well, it just said, if you're this far along in pregnancy,
Speaker 4: you may start to notice that your dreams are becoming
Speaker 4: extremely vivid or you're having horrible night tears. There's nothing
Speaker 4: to worry about. This is a perfectly normal part of pregnant.
Speaker 3: And it's like, especially if you are carrying a Antichrist.
Speaker 4: But don't you think, like that's just like their way
Speaker 4: of like writing it off, like, oh, there's nothing special
Speaker 4: about what's happening to you right now.
Speaker 3: It's just well, the medical industry does that with everything.
Speaker 4: It's for me.
Speaker 3: We have a pill for that, we have a name
Speaker 3: for that condition. Especially modern day psychiatry psychology, they're so
Speaker 3: arrogant in the way they look at the paranormal and dreaming.
Speaker 3: That's why parapsychology, I think is better. I prefer you
Speaker 3: over fucking Freud because these things aren't just poo pooh.
Speaker 3: They're not just like, oh, your brain's trying to make
Speaker 3: sense of I've heard this kind of shit. Your brain's
Speaker 3: just trying to make sense of the day, and it's
Speaker 3: like running through the remnants of thoughts that are just
Speaker 3: like in the back. It's like, how the fuck do
Speaker 3: you know that that sounds like some gay ass shit
Speaker 3: you just made up on like a book report day,
Speaker 3: and you didn't read the book, and then people believed it.
Speaker 3: We all want to fuck our mom too.
Speaker 4: Just what they say.
Speaker 3: That's what Freud says. His whole model is based on
Speaker 3: this weird sexual malfunction we all have. Because this guy
Speaker 3: wanted to fuck his mom, so we projected that onto
Speaker 3: all of humanity.
Speaker 4: He sounds like the guy from the Children of God colors.
Speaker 3: Well, if you look at Freud, he's tied to all
Speaker 3: that shit. And then there's like Kinsey, the fucking pedophile
Speaker 3: guy who was trying to revolutionize sex. Like I used
Speaker 3: to think that guy was badass until I found out
Speaker 3: everything about him, Like I thought it was sexual revolution
Speaker 3: like exploring sexuality, but no exploring sexuality to him meant
Speaker 3: no limits like Children of God.
Speaker 4: Well, I just think that this entire experience for me
Speaker 4: has been magical, And maybe it's just because I'm a
Speaker 4: first time like we had this second time reading, but.
Speaker 3: We had this conversation earlier because a family member of
Speaker 3: hers is going through this with their spouse and she's
Speaker 3: a first time mom and he isn't so excited. But
Speaker 3: she is, and he's saying it's because I've already gone
Speaker 3: through this, and like I said, you know, I have
Speaker 3: a son already. This is I can't imagine it being
Speaker 3: any less magical each time it happens. I don't get that.
Speaker 4: I don't get it either, but you would be the
Speaker 4: one to tell me, because this.
Speaker 3: Well, you and I are together, So that's a good
Speaker 3: starting point that I didn't have the first time around.
Speaker 3: And it's more magical to me this time around in
Speaker 3: a lot of ways because I experienced a lot more
Speaker 3: of it. There's a level of intimacy between you and
Speaker 3: I that I didn't have with my other son's mom,
Speaker 3: So right off the bat, like it's a more unique
Speaker 3: experience altogether.
Speaker 4: And I said this on the Occult Rejects podcast like
Speaker 4: a couple of weeks ago, but I do feel like
Speaker 4: our baby has always been with us.
Speaker 3: So you did you announced this on another show?
Speaker 4: No, I said in pregnancy, I feel like it's weird because.
Speaker 3: Well, take if you want to like think about it
Speaker 3: that way, physiologically, your eggs have always been with you,
Speaker 3: so that right there.
Speaker 4: They were with me in my mom's roomb.
Speaker 3: Right, and so then the male adds his little jism
Speaker 3: sauce to the mix, and then the conception like where
Speaker 3: you've seen those they're not recent recent, but they're fairly
Speaker 3: recent relatively, but they're like they show the spark of
Speaker 3: life when the sperm cell breaks through the It's like
Speaker 3: they even showed it in the coust talking. So it's
Speaker 3: been around at least since John Travolta was skinny and
Speaker 3: not as gay as he is now. He's always been gay,
Speaker 3: I know, but he just stopped hiding it so well.
Speaker 3: He was so cool in Lacou's talking.
Speaker 4: Dude.
Speaker 5: Yeah, anyway, it's a spark of why so, but yeah,
Speaker 5: what do you think, like when you say they're always
Speaker 5: with us, do you mean as the mom or both parents?
Speaker 4: I feel like both because when I got pregnant the
Speaker 4: first time, everything everything about me on a cellular level
Speaker 4: changed and I knew immediately that this was something that
Speaker 4: I was supposed to do. And then I lost that
Speaker 4: pregnancy and it was devastating to me, and my ex
Speaker 4: husband did not He was not excited that I was
Speaker 4: pregnant and did not ever want to try to he
Speaker 4: basically that's what ended us, is that he did not
Speaker 4: want children and he was relieved that it didn't come
Speaker 4: to fruition, and I you emailed me in the middle
Speaker 4: of us deciding that we were over.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I wanted to talk about Hunter and Stomp
Speaker 3: and making snuff films.
Speaker 4: Yeah. But I mean it just felt like weird, serendipitous
Speaker 4: timing because I had always had the hots for you.
Speaker 4: I was leaving my husband and you were single, and
Speaker 4: the rest of this just happened to be. I mean,
Speaker 4: the fact that we were interested in the same conspiracy topics,
Speaker 4: that we had worked together, that we knew that we
Speaker 4: were friends, that you you literally didn't talk to me
Speaker 4: for months, and then out of nowhere, just sent me
Speaker 4: a random email, like a couple of weeks after Zachary
Speaker 4: and I had decided to split. The first pregnancy was
Speaker 4: almost kind of like a spiritual experience to set me
Speaker 4: up for what was to come.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I mean, having a kid with somebody who
Speaker 3: doesn't want to do that with you, how cool would
Speaker 3: that be?
Speaker 4: I was not happy about it, but I wanted the baby.
Speaker 3: And even if you and I like start hating each
Speaker 3: other and go our separate ways, we'll both will be
Speaker 3: stoked about our baby. And I don't want everybody to
Speaker 3: think that she's got her bags packed, But if you
Speaker 3: had to live with me, you would understand that it's
Speaker 3: probably a matter of time before she either kicks the
Speaker 3: shit out of me or leaves.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 4: According to your expert advice, you say that you know
Speaker 4: our relationship is strong because we do have quarrels.
Speaker 3: Oh for sure. Like, if you want to get personal
Speaker 3: and talk about that a little bit, you and your
Speaker 3: ex never fought because you guys never talked. You lived
Speaker 3: in your own separate wings of the manner, and when
Speaker 3: you're intermingling with somebody on a daily basis, like I
Speaker 3: have this situation where two days out of the work week,
Speaker 3: I'm home with my son and I work the swing shift,
Speaker 3: and we see each other so often and talk so
Speaker 3: often that when we do fight, it's the rare occasion.
Speaker 3: But you know we've thrown down because we're both passionate,
Speaker 3: we're both fucking stubborn, and we're not so quick to
Speaker 3: be willing to see it the other person's way. But
Speaker 3: you didn't have that even the opportunity to hit that
Speaker 3: level with your ex because we.
Speaker 4: Were completely indifferent towards each other.
Speaker 3: Your roommates that sometimes pinched each other's nipples, so have fun.
Speaker 3: I've had fuck buddies too, I just didn't live with them.
Speaker 4: Did you marry one and stay with them seven years?
Speaker 3: Well, the concept of the fuck buddies kind of you
Speaker 3: avoid all that other shit.
Speaker 4: I do have to say, though, having experienced pregnancy loss
Speaker 4: and you can, you know, throw in your two cents.
Speaker 4: It's horrifying for me to announce this. I almost feel guilty.
Speaker 3: I know that you've got some shell shock from your
Speaker 3: first experience, but you know, and we did wait up
Speaker 3: till like twenty weeks before we told anybody outside of family,
Speaker 3: And I mean, I think that's playing it pretty safe.
Speaker 3: If you're looking at SATIS miscarriages, a lot of women
Speaker 3: miscarry in the first couple of weeks and don't even
Speaker 3: know they were ever pregnant. They thought they had like
Speaker 3: a weird cramp or something. And you experienced something horrendous
Speaker 3: and it.
Speaker 4: Was almost in your death experience.
Speaker 3: Just for you getting through those first six to twelve
Speaker 3: weeks where there is that window of likely things like
Speaker 3: that happening, I'll tell you experiencing it just vicariously through you.
Speaker 3: It was yeah, and you've made it over the hump.
Speaker 3: I mean you're into the third trimester now. I personally
Speaker 3: don't think there's any risk involved telling people. I don't
Speaker 3: think it's going to change the outcome of anything that
Speaker 3: wasn't going to happen already. I'm cool with it. I mean,
Speaker 3: we kind of discussed it before we started recording, and
Speaker 3: it was your idea. But I also, I mean, Julia
Speaker 3: is not gaining a lot of weight, so maybe you've noticed,
Speaker 3: maybe you haven't.
Speaker 4: My nose is swollen.
Speaker 3: I mean, I told you my.
Speaker 4: Face looks a little swollen.
Speaker 3: I think my mom has the similar judgment as you,
Speaker 3: as is she actually gives Candas Owns the time of day,
Speaker 3: and my mom was watching Candace. She since moved on.
Speaker 3: But every time, and I think it's happened twice since
Speaker 3: my mom's been watching her, my mom would say, I
Speaker 3: think Kndas is pregnant, and then like two weeks later
Speaker 3: she would announce it.
Speaker 4: Well, if there's any of the listeners out there who
Speaker 4: are Patreon subscribers who have noticed my last couple months
Speaker 4: of videos, maybe somebody has been like, I wonder if
Speaker 4: she's gotten fat.
Speaker 3: Or I've been making sure she's eating good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's hungry all the time.
Speaker 3: Well that means if he eats as much as his
Speaker 3: fucking brother's starting to. Yeah, it's all he wants to do.
Speaker 4: But I mean, I feel like I'm so proud of
Speaker 4: us that I'm happy to announce.
Speaker 3: Well I thought you were You were like hesitant, is
Speaker 3: what I thought you meant.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: No, I'm saying, despite my reservations, because of what has
Speaker 4: happened in the past, I am proud of us for
Speaker 4: how far we've come.
Speaker 3: Well, I didn't do much. I gave you the yogurt. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and you processed it quite nicely.
Speaker 4: This is all, like I said, I feel like very
Speaker 4: much destined.
Speaker 3: And I mean, like I said, you know, when I
Speaker 3: went to that place that some people call gay, unconditional
Speaker 3: love or straight. You know, I'm sorry to poo poo
Speaker 3: on the hippie terms, but yeah, it's all destined. It's
Speaker 3: all destined to happen in fucking multiple variations of separate ways.
Speaker 3: There's a fucking universe right next to us where you miscarried.
Speaker 3: There's a universe right next to us where we have twins.
Speaker 3: Then there's universes that you get further down and you
Speaker 3: and I never ever met I mean, it's like literally
Speaker 3: every possibility. I've seen this on DMT. I was on
Speaker 3: a riverbank.
Speaker 4: I took it because when I first moved here, I
Speaker 4: had deja vu a lot.
Speaker 3: I have dejev vous all the time. In fact, the
Speaker 3: other day I didn't even tell you. We're sitting in
Speaker 3: there with my son and you said something to me,
Speaker 3: and I was holding him, and the way he was
Speaker 3: looking at me, and the way you were looking at me,
Speaker 3: and the like angle of the sunlight coming through the blinds,
Speaker 3: it was just all like this moment has been experienced
Speaker 3: and like everybody knows who experiences deja vu, and I
Speaker 3: think it's pretty normal while it's happening, there's no fucking.
Speaker 4: Doubt so that we've done this before.
Speaker 3: Well, that moment, I've experienced it before.
Speaker 4: I know, But I'm saying when I moved here, I
Speaker 4: just kept having it like every other day. It was
Speaker 4: like I've done this before. I've been here before, I've
Speaker 4: lived here before.
Speaker 3: So you're either on the right path or the wrong
Speaker 3: one that you keep taking.
Speaker 4: I would say the right one, because it's gotten us
Speaker 4: a little conspiracy.
Speaker 3: We're naming him Bill Cooper Dennis.
Speaker 4: Oh God, can you imagine.
Speaker 3: Naval intelligence runs in the family.
Speaker 4: But I am trying to work hard to stock up
Speaker 4: on content so that when I do go on maternity
Speaker 4: leave it shouldn't be noticed. They'll still be plenty of
Speaker 4: shows for you to enjoy for the I don't I
Speaker 4: don't know how long I'll be out for at least
Speaker 4: a month or so.
Speaker 3: And when she puts up for a surprise episode, the
Speaker 3: theme sunk to Blue. Oh fuck, you know that the
Speaker 3: kid's been born? Done, done done. Sorry everybody who doesn't
Speaker 3: have kids, you have no idea what that means. In fact,
Speaker 3: this dude, Chris Promarine dut rantcast, he's like, you know
Speaker 3: what Blue is? I said no, and he goes, you
Speaker 3: don't have kids? And now I know what he means.
Speaker 3: It's huge. It's a hit. It's BBC meets Disney. What
Speaker 3: could go wrong there?
Speaker 4: I think it's trash.
Speaker 3: She does, but my son loves it and he's probably
Speaker 3: going to be trans because of it. Good Night, everybody.
Speaker 4: Do you feel like we've summed up everything? Do you
Speaker 4: feel like we've left anything else that you wanted to
Speaker 4: touch on?
Speaker 3: I know you, babe, it's your show. I mean, if
Speaker 3: I could tell you whatever you want to hear. I
Speaker 3: think we talked about quite a fucking lot. I think
Speaker 3: we've been recording for almost three hours. Well, no, I'm
Speaker 3: just two and a half. I don't know when do
Speaker 3: we start nine? I don't remember we would going at
Speaker 3: least two.
Speaker 4: I was just gonna say you were the inspiration behind
Speaker 4: starting this series. And I know you don't always.
Speaker 3: Show you love my soul and my heart since booys.
Speaker 4: I know you don't always agree with like the Christian
Speaker 4: perspective on things.
Speaker 3: I don't always agree with to anything perspective on things,
Speaker 3: and I don't need to and I'm not trying to
Speaker 3: invalidate anybody's beliefs, but not agreed you. One of the
Speaker 3: things that Julie and I talked about before we decided
Speaker 3: to meet in person was like, if this happens, I
Speaker 3: have two things. I am co parenting with a kid,
Speaker 3: and you got to be cool with that whole situation.
Speaker 3: And you also got to be cool with the fact
Speaker 3: that I know you're a Christian and you know I'm not,
Speaker 3: and neither one of us needs to try to talk
Speaker 3: the other one out of that, and we haven't. We've
Speaker 3: offered each other pros cons why we feel the way
Speaker 3: we do just all sorts of stuff, and it's never
Speaker 3: been an issue except for one night when you got
Speaker 3: really drunk and ganged up on me with my Christian friend.
Speaker 4: That might happen again sometime.
Speaker 3: Who knows, well, you ain't drinking anytime soon, Mama, No,
Speaker 3: I might just.
Speaker 4: Pound six years after we get done with this.
Speaker 3: You don't know that well, you're gonna make that boy
Speaker 3: just like his daddy.
Speaker 4: So with that being said, thank you so much for
Speaker 4: joining me to put a ribbon on into the further
Speaker 4: part three.
Speaker 3: If she don't hear from us in the meantime, that
Speaker 3: portal swallowed us.
Speaker 4: Well. I was actually going to say, the reason I
Speaker 4: don't want to drag this series on too long is
Speaker 4: because I've never experienced it, and I definitely never would
Speaker 4: want to. And I get creeped out talking about this
Speaker 4: kind of stuff. You've revealed some stuff tonight that has
Speaker 4: upset me horribly in my fragule.
Speaker 3: I fucking warned you, and you thought I was going
Speaker 3: to be talking shit about your your Bible. You thought
Speaker 3: I was going to like be a dick, and I
Speaker 3: was just thinking, you know, the stuff that happened to
Speaker 3: your cousin. Well, no, this all ties in to the
Speaker 3: stuff that happened to your cousin's house.
Speaker 4: Ever shared that with me before this very moment, though,
Speaker 4: I told you.
Speaker 3: I told you that I had a bizarre sleep paralysis experience.
Speaker 3: I told you what I.
Speaker 4: Thought when you said that. No, like that time we
Speaker 4: were on our way to my doctor's appointment and you
Speaker 4: said that you rolled into a portal and that you
Speaker 4: went on a magical mystery tour with the walrus Man,
Speaker 4: and like, what, Yeah, you told me that.
Speaker 3: I don't recall this conversation.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what you told me. That's what I thought
Speaker 4: when you say.
Speaker 3: Okay, seriously, we're on our way to your appointment, and
Speaker 3: I said what.
Speaker 4: We were on our way to my doctor's appointment, and
Speaker 4: you looked at me and you said I got no
Speaker 4: sleep last night. And I said why and you said
Speaker 4: because I had sleep paralysis, and you said I was
Speaker 4: so tired that I was like fuck it. I just
Speaker 4: went with it. And I rolled into a portal and
Speaker 4: it was like and you described all this stuff to me.
Speaker 3: I don't remember that, but.
Speaker 4: Oh it was the other you that told me all this.
Speaker 3: I've been monarched in all my travels. No, I just did.
Speaker 4: Like I said, That's what I was thinking though when
Speaker 4: you said I had sleep paralysis at your cousin's not
Speaker 4: that your hand was being held by the devil himself.
Speaker 3: Well, like I said, it is my goal to not
Speaker 3: freak you out. But we were having this conversation for
Speaker 3: your Lovely podcast, I felt like all that stuff.
Speaker 4: If we should close out with the prayer, I'm gonna
Speaker 4: terrify of that.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go get a beer. Julia is gonna say
Speaker 3: the Lord's prayer. Hopefully it's a new Testament.
Speaker 4: But anyways, thanks for joining me though, Babe, I really
Speaker 4: appreciate it.
Speaker 3: Now I lay me down to sleep. Hush, little baby,
Speaker 3: don't say what you gotta close out with that? Now
Speaker 3: what you dstand man?
Speaker 4: You have to you have to do the one that
Speaker 4: you sing, what one to put your son to sleep?
Speaker 3: No, that's for us. It's from an old brother. We're
Speaker 3: at though.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it has some very interesting lyrics that you
Speaker 4: changed up.
Speaker 3: Have you heard me singing it?
Speaker 4: Shut the fuck up?
Speaker 1: Be quiet?
Speaker 3: Well, there does around with his name. Yeah, you can
Speaker 3: say anything in the right cadence tell her about Well,
Speaker 3: let's get in there.
Speaker 4: Now, go to sleep, little baby.
Speaker 3: He's gonna get kicked out of school.
Speaker 4: Let the fuck up. Be quiet.
Speaker 3: No, go to sleep, little wiet It works, It works.
Speaker 4: Would you like to plug anything before we wrap up
Speaker 4: the show. You've been working on a lot of cool
Speaker 4: stuff lately.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna plug a melatonin capsule into my buttthole so
Speaker 3: that I don't have to sleep Prouls just tonight. Uh,
Speaker 3: I guess conspiracy playtime is what she's referring to. And yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, we always try to stay away from politics,
Speaker 3: but lately we've been diving down into like Donald Trump's
Speaker 3: past with all the stuff that pisses off Trump supporters.
Speaker 3: We've been diving into the technocracy angle of this new
Speaker 3: trojan horse in the fucking current administration. Had some good guests.
Speaker 3: It's it's, you know, you kind of just swivel through
Speaker 3: all this stuff. And even though we're getting political, it's
Speaker 3: not that we're into politics, it's we're in into all
Speaker 3: the weird fucking shit being ushered in through politics. So
Speaker 3: check that out if that's something that might tickle your fancy,
Speaker 3: and do.
Speaker 4: It soon, Because much like myself, Colby likes to use
Speaker 4: music on his podcast. And the ships keep getting taken
Speaker 4: off Spotify.
Speaker 3: If you if you if you do dig Conspiracy Playtime
Speaker 3: and you want to listen to it, you could always
Speaker 3: go to Conspiracy Playtime dot com. Every fucking episode is
Speaker 3: up some on some platforms. So if you're Spotify or
Speaker 3: and Apple podcast listener and they cut our shit for
Speaker 3: copyright and you notice, like, huh, I went from episode
Speaker 3: ten to thirty two, the chances are that they cut
Speaker 3: a lot of stuff out. I get a new notice
Speaker 3: every day that they're removing episodes. But anyway, Conspiracyplaytime dot
Speaker 3: com will give you a YouTube link. YouTube has dropped
Speaker 3: a lot of our shit, so sometimes we'll take you
Speaker 3: to Rumble through a redirect.
Speaker 4: But what if someone wants to be a guest on
Speaker 4: your show?
Speaker 3: Get in line, motherfucker email. Yeah. Sure, you could do
Speaker 3: Conspiracy Playtime at gmail dot com. Or you could just
Speaker 3: reach out to Julia and she could wake me up
Speaker 3: from one of my dreams and tell you tell me
Speaker 3: that you want to come on.
Speaker 4: I just don't think you've ever pulled to that before.
Speaker 3: Oh sure I have?
Speaker 4: Are you sure?
Speaker 3: Probably? Why not?
Speaker 4: Because I do have people reach out to me trying
Speaker 4: to get to you sometimes.
Speaker 3: Well that's the first I'm hearing of it.
Speaker 4: Anyways, if you want to come on Cosmic Peach podcast
Speaker 4: or you want me to be a guest on your show,
Speaker 4: you can email me at ghost dot Peach at outlook
Speaker 4: dot com.
Speaker 3: And if you want s you will literally go on
Speaker 3: anybody's show. I mean, she's been on Tinfoil Hat twice.
Speaker 4: For fuck's sake, I'll go on anybody's show.
Speaker 3: I was kidding. Sorry, Sam keep slinging that fucking devil
Speaker 3: chocolate buddy.
Speaker 4: But yeah, So if you want to get on Conspiracy Playtime,
Speaker 4: email check out the website if it's not available on Spotify,
Speaker 4: and maybe we'll do another mini series together in the future.
Speaker 3: Well, we are actually going to be doing an interesting
Speaker 3: collab with JJ Vance and this gal that lives in
Speaker 3: our area who fucking showed some shit to me about
Speaker 3: this little valley that we live in that's been infiltrated
Speaker 3: by weird psychedelic cults who are funded by scientologists. That
Speaker 3: shit is right up JJ's alley, and I think Julia
Speaker 3: is going to sit in on that. Keep your eyes
Speaker 3: peeled for that. By the time this comes out, we
Speaker 3: probably wouldn't even have recorded it. Yet, but I'm excited
Speaker 3: about that. JJ's awesome. This new gal that I've been
Speaker 3: talking to quite a bit about some crazy fucking conspiracy
Speaker 3: shit that she knows about has experienced herself. But that'll
Speaker 3: be one to look forward to also.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that'll probably be an upcoming.
Speaker 3: Up as well. Last time I talked to her, she's
Speaker 3: fucking got outlines and sending me articles and videos that
Speaker 3: I need to get in on the watching.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
Speaker 3: I always it goes along with like the twin Flame
Speaker 3: cult that you.
Speaker 4: Could, well, it reminds me of that. But I was
Speaker 4: gonna say I always look forward to working with JJ
Speaker 4: as well, because he's a great researcher.
Speaker 3: And this girl really wants to be Julia's friend.
Speaker 4: I'm like a cat because I'm like a cat. I'm
Speaker 4: great with podcasts, but in the real world, I'm like.
Speaker 3: She became friends with me to get to you, and like,
Speaker 3: I'm getting all the fucking I'm reaping all the rewards
Speaker 3: because she's fuck. She all the ship you talk about,
Speaker 3: She's lived through it, She's seeing all of it.
Speaker 4: Babe. I am a I am a hairless Persian cat
Speaker 4: that likes to crawl up in a hole and just
Speaker 4: especially pregnant.
Speaker 3: I want to you're mister Jigglesworth right, No, no, we don't,
Speaker 3: not on our kit te.
Speaker 4: So with that being said, everyone, thanks so much for listening.
Speaker 4: I hope you enjoyed this third and final installment of
Speaker 4: Into the Further and I will catch you on the
Speaker 4: next one, The Further