Speaker 1: Made a decision.
Speaker 2: Pace sunny Sun yet on I had a vision.
Speaker 3: It's nice.
Speaker 1: What's up everybody, love you guys.
Speaker 2: I was just writing my thank you cards, thank you emails,
and I didn't send you one, Stephanie, because I send
you a text.
Speaker 3: No but not necessary girl.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I was. I was like, I don't
have to.
Speaker 4: I thought, I I'm sorry, thank you of course anyway
for the film memorial and I was just like, a
lot of them are our listeners, and they are so
sweet and so generous, and I love all you guys
that donated.
Speaker 1: We raised like close to three grand to.
Speaker 2: Help these poor animals and these families that need help
in a crisis.
Speaker 1: So it all went to good you know, good good cause.
So thank you guys.
Speaker 3: You know it's amazing that having a pet costs so
much money. And I was just thinking today because so
and I'll explain more about this later, but suffice it
to say that I had to go get my cartooned up.
And it doesn't it wasn't even requiring a service, right,
it was. I just I'm going to drive it to
northern California this weekend. Here's why you know what this
is a this is a topic I do want to
get into. So I'm taking Xander to the state competition
for speech and debate. As we remember Equalified. It's in
Union City, which is near Berkeley, so it's pretty far.
So it's five and a half hour, six hour drive,
and it's this weekend, this weekend coming up, so when
you're listening to the Friday Show this Friday, I will
be in the car driving with Xander on the road.
Speaker 1: Nice. So my one of my.
Speaker 3: Thoughts though, and I literally was just talking to John
about this today, was I'm a little bit scared to
take the electric car because I just.
Speaker 1: Think it's going to be patrinotized.
Speaker 3: You it just seems like maybe the electric car is
for local drives. And you know, the prius it doesn't
look like much, but it gets great gas MILEGIC gets
like fifty five miles per gallon, right because it's a hybrid.
So I'm going to get to northern California on a
tank of gas and get home on a tank of gas.
And a tank of gas in that car is like,
well normally it's like thirty dollars. It seems it seems
like it's probably worth it to take that car and
not worry about where to find a plug in?
Speaker 2: Right, well, knowing you and how you have your anxiety
with where am I going? Where am I going to park?
You know, you this one thing that you don't have
to worry about. You don't want to be worrying about
and thinking about Lynette nor Tesla and all those problems.
Speaker 3: And well also with the Mercedes when you went to
santamar Frey and you you were like okay, cause you
couldn't get your turn at the thing, so you were like,
fuck it, I'm just going to drive home. I probably
have enough. But then it started running out, well what
if that happens to me? And I'm on the five
and I got Xander and I'm like all right, Well,
so John is like, listen, there's a lot of plugins,
and it's on the app. There's plenty of places and
you can just plan ahead and go, I'm going to
stop here. But you know, there's that part of my
brain that's like, eh, but what if there's a people
in line?
Speaker 1: And it's like if that's what I had issue? Right?
Speaker 2: I went to your Ralphs that one night and there
was a line like eleven o'clock at night.
Speaker 3: There's always lines yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So then part of me is like, well, maybe because
I'm not going to be in like the Ralphson Ensino.
But the other part of me is like, well, but
what if that's the one that I need because I'm
starting to run out of charge and then there's a
big long line and we're sitting there for forty five
minutes and then it takes thirty five minutes to charge up.
Then I got to figure out getting it anyway. I
was like, why why don't I just take the PRIs Okay? Yeah,
So I'm like, I'm gonna take the Prius, but I'm
going to take it by my mechanic and make sure
that you know, like the tire light's been on for
a while, which we usually ignore because yes, the weather,
the weather affects it. You know, there is okay, but
and it doesn't even really need It's not even due
for an oil change. But I was like, let me
just have them check everything out because I'm going to
be driving. Well guess what my guy calls me like
after he's had the car for thirty minutes. Oh, first
of all, too, this is kind of funny. So John
tells me, here's the questions that my guy's name is
a Ram. He's been nicest, he's like family guy, mechanic.
He's been helping me with my cars for many many years.
He's super nice. So John's like, in the back seat,
the latch does doesn't work in the back, Like, you
can't get out of the car, but you can come
around to the outside and you can let somebody out.
So can you show that to him and see what
the problem is? So I go, okay. Also, apparently the
back latch doesn't work, and they think the automatic lot
something's wrong with it. It doesn't open when you and
he's like, okay, so show me. So we go to
the car. I get in the car to test it out.
I'm like, yep, sure enough, it won't open. So he
opens it from the outside. Then, of course the childlock
was switched, which anybody that's any of us moms would
have known, like, did you check? I didn't think to
I'm like, I'm dealing with an adult here. You'd think
he would have checked the childlock. That would be the
first thing you would check.
Speaker 1: No nobody thought of that.
Speaker 3: So my guy Arom just goes, oh, well, just flip
this up now try it. Yeah, it was fine. So
I'm like, okay, but no, Sadie did a little Sadie
drives this car. This is the car drives everywhere. Now,
of course there's a little accident in it. There. She
got a little she did something which she claims she
was not in the car when it happened, and she
doesn't have any idea how it happened. But okay, something
happened which is going to cost like seven hundred dollars
to fix, okay, because we have to replace the outside
bumper area. Okay. So I'm like good news, bad news
when I get home. Good news is the latch works fine,
it was the child. And then he's like, what's the
bad news, And I'm like, well, it's not a minor repair.
It's not like just just tap in the little piece
that's sticking out. It needs to be replaced. Okay. Right
then I get a call from my mechanic like thirty
minutes later, and he's like, here's the thing. Oh now,
your two front tires are literally missing rubber. Like the
way it's being driven, it's hitting curbs, it's like you're
scraped rubber off of the tires. They have to be replaced.
They can't be fixed and due to that, the alignment
is out.
Speaker 2: So wow, Lenny's I mean I know this because my
dad Will You used to always tell me accidents, most
accidents happen because of tires low low pressure or the
tread they're bald, That's how most accidents happen.
Speaker 1: So you gotta get that fixed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So we had to replace the front tires, we
had to do alignment, and he said that we didn't
even need the oil changed.
Speaker 1: He's like, you have enough.
Speaker 3: You can go like another nine hundred miles easily on
the oil you have, So do you want to not
do that since you have to do this other stuff?
Basically seven hundred dollars in car repairs for that, and
we didn't do the body work of course not now
right right, Listen, we saved money. I was like, you
saved me money on the lock. So but this is
what I was wondering, and this this is why I
thought of it when you said about the the dog fund.
You know, for people, it's it's always something right, and like, right,
I'm so grateful that I can pay for that, and honestly,
like we have to put it on our credit card.
It's not like I just have so much liquid funds,
but you know, what what do people do? And that's
what that fund is for. But what do people do
in their car when they're barely scraping by and they're
they have to fix their car?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's good.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, cars are expensive and you've got to like,
you know, take that in consideration.
Speaker 1: It's going to need upkeep and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean there's no like fun to go
help people that I don't know about that can help
people that don't have the money to get their cars
fixed to get to work so they can make the money.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a good valid question.
Speaker 3: Like if you if you need dental work, there's this
care thing, like there's a care credit card, which I
believe I want to say, please don't quote me on
this because I don't work for like a credit card company,
but I feel like it's a no interest kind of thing.
So if you're in a bad spot and you need
to get dental work done, you can chart. Like I
don't know, I don't want to say the wrong thing,
but there's stuff like that for dental work or and
maybe like maybe that's for medical stuff too, but not
for cars. You don't go in your mechanics office and
there's like a little pamphlet going like, hey, you can't
pay for your oil change.
Speaker 2: Here's a credit line, right right, that's true, that's true,
when maybe we should make line.
Speaker 3: I know, because when I was young, I didn't get
my car fixed.
Speaker 1: I just didn't need me a noise.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, well.
Speaker 1: It's still running. Yeah. I did the same thing. I
had a back window.
Speaker 2: That was out and I drove it around for I
don't even think.
Speaker 1: I don't know when I got it fixed.
Speaker 2: I had so many issues with my car and I
just kept if it kept going. I was like, all right,
I'm good, you know, right, Yeah, I didn't have the
money to get a car fixed.
Speaker 1: I barely had money to get a car, I know.
Speaker 3: And that's the thing, it's like, you you can barely
pay for the car. I had car payments on my
first car, my Mazda GLC banana yellow with the rust
through the floor of the car. My mom was not
going to help me at all. So that car had
all kinds of problems. I mean, it couldn't go above
like thirty miles per hour on the freeway, and I
was like, what are you gonna do, Like, I gotta
I gotta drive it. I don't have another car, Yeah,
couldn't win one on a game show. Well it was
a few years because I moved. It was at least
three years before I won that car on the show.
So I think I drove that car for at least
two or three years. I bought it.
Speaker 1: It already had almost one hundred thousand miles on.
Speaker 2: It, right, Yeah, saying I had two shit cars in
a row and never like, never took it in to
get the oil changed or anything like that, you know,
and I just kept driving it. Luckily, I had guy friends,
I think, like maybe Mike and Glenn helped me when
I needed shit, like if I'm tired, got was flat
or something. That's That's about it. Like I didn't have much.
I didn't have any help at all. I was just
on my own.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know people who drove cars with no oil
in it, you know, because we were all kind of
in the same boat. When I moved here. My friends
and I were all starving, eating ramen and you know,
eating our dinner from seven to eleven. Had a jar
of peanut butter in the house, a package of baloney,
some wonderfuread. Yes, absolutely, and happy to have it, you know, right,
and like, Okay, I'm really stoned, so I'm gonna have
two pieces of baloney a splurge.
Speaker 1: I got the MUNCHIESE really, hi, I had so that
was my my thing. Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Do you remember I used to take baloney and you'd
put it in a frying pan and you cook it.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 3: I had friends that did that, and then you'd put
it it on toast with some mayo and it was
just like really delicious.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: And I would have like cereal for dinner and like toast,
you know, if I was hungry, that was my thing.
Speaker 1: I would just have toast and cereal bowls and of cereal. Yeah.
And not the healthy cereal either, like Captain Crunch.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, well what do you You're on your own. You're
not going to be like buying yourself fiber one.
Speaker 1: Right, No high fullom cereal for me back then. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was at the grocery store today and I saw
fiber one and I was like, oh hell no, I'm
an adult. I could choose my own cereal. And it's
not that right.
Speaker 2: I can't have cereal anymore because I'm like lactose intolerant. Really, yeah,
I have to have like I have to take a
lac date pill if I'm going to have ice cream
or cereals. And now I don't really eat that anymore. Yeah,
I can't have yogurt. I have yogurt, my stomach I
get like in pain double over. Yeah, it's pretty bad.
Oh wow, it only just started in like the last
ten years. It's not like I've always had it. It's
like that's what happens when you get old.
Speaker 1: That's so interesting. I don't I don't think I have that. Not,
I mean not a lot of people.
Speaker 2: I talk to Wendy and she's eating a bowl of
cereal and ice cream. She was looking for a Rocky
Road ice cream. She's like, nobody has Rocky Road anymore.
Like really, She's like, yeah, I think they're phasing that out,
like it's old school. She couldn't find it. That's crazy.
I feel like I've seen it kind of recently, but
she could be right.
Speaker 1: Maybe in her neighborhood. Eyed around.
Speaker 3: You have like some different kind they have like moose tracks,
which is like a lot of stuff mixed into you know,
they'll just put other stuff in there now, Yeah, like
you don't need marshmallows, don't worry about it, just like
here's some fudge, here's a little chunk of brownie. Here's
some Maraschino cherries for no reason.
Speaker 2: Like and you're good steaking a Maraschino cherries. I've been
craving those lately because I went. I told you when
I went to Florida, I had a coke with grenadine
basically as a roy Rogers, right, And now it's like, I,
once in a while, I'm craving that to have a
coke with grenadide, and I'm like, I need some cherries.
Speaker 1: Like I gotta go buy some. It's funny you brought
that up.
Speaker 3: I do think they're supposed to be pretty bad for you,
so are they?
Speaker 1: I fine? Mashino cherries have like red dye number. I'm
sure they do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm sure grenadide isn't great either, And truthfully,
coke is not.
Speaker 1: That great for you either.
Speaker 2: But I do have it once in a while, a
little craving because I don't drink coffee anymore and that
gave me a stomach ache, so I have like tea
or coke and the afternoon get perked up.
Speaker 1: That's about it. That's it.
Speaker 3: Did you ever used to drink coffee? I don't feel
like I've ever known you to be a coffee person.
Speaker 2: I used to always drink coffee. Yeah, when the kids
were young, when they were growing up. Yeah, I had
coffee every morning with my protein bar that I got
in trouble with for eating. Remember Vinnie came to our
house and was like, no more of these protein bars.
Speaker 1: Why Vinnie, because of the sugar. Yeah, it's bad for you. No, no,
you gotta have like protein in the morning.
Speaker 2: You gotta have eggs. And She's kind of right, it
sat as satiates you. But it's like, I'm not looking
an egg for myself in the morning. And truly, eggs
give me a stomache tool. Sometimes I've to have bread
with it. I know some people that feel that way
about eggs. See.
Speaker 3: I can't imagine having Vinnie in my head, Like if
I'd ever had a visit from him with his no sugar,
no nothing, right, I would just hold it in my
head all the time. No carbs, no, no carbs, no grains,
no sugar.
Speaker 2: No no, I know, right, I know, no bread like no,
And then you had it.
Speaker 3: Adam just buying into it like hook wine and sinker,
like not even questioning it, just like nope. Then he
said it so the kids, No, nobody.
Speaker 2: Want the kids. Nobody's having it. Yeah, and that didn't
last very long. Yeah, I mean maybe yeah. I don't
want to get into it. We'll talk on Patreon.
Speaker 3: But if you have to sneak to have a bagel though,
you know, like.
Speaker 1: Which is what the kid did, I know, but.
Speaker 3: Like us Jews, you got to have a bagel. You know,
that's crazy talk. I know, gotta have a bagel with
a little shmear like I can't imagine just being like
no bagels.
Speaker 2: Ever, No, that's that's terrifying. I love bagels. I love
where do you get your bagels?
Speaker 3: Western? You know, it's I remember growing up. I know
we talk about growing up a lot, but there were
certain things that I associate with childhood with being special,
even though we were pretty poor growing up, but there
were certain things like to us, pizza. My kids are
like pizza like eye roll, you know, but to us
it was really special. That was like if we ordered
a pizza because my mom cooked all the time and
I didn't like most of the things that she made.
They were kind of fancy for me, yea. And I've
discussed the fact that my mom would make things like
meat loaf or things with onion, knowing I hated onions,
and it would just there would always be some kind
of a casserole or something that was like just disgusting
to me. So when we got pizza, we got pizza
and soda, and that was like the best night of.
Speaker 1: My life, you know. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then every once in a while we got pastrami
sandwiches or corn beef like cornbi for pastrami like Deli sandwiches,
and that was like, oh my god, I love this
is like my favorite thing ever. And now that I'm
an adult, I mean not just being an adult, but
like now that I'm older and trying to like watch
what I eat and stuff, it's like, oh, like, first
of all, it's red meat, which I try to stay
away from. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: Second of all, it's just so like greasy.
Speaker 3: It's like not good for you.
Speaker 1: Now you feel crappy. I agree. I used to love
pastrami sandwiches when I was young.
Speaker 2: Now it's like I never order it's too salty, and
you're yeah, when you after you eat it, you feel
like grease in your mouth and it's not not how
it used to be, but.
Speaker 3: Y, it still seems like such a treat to me,
do you know what I mean? Like there's still foods
that I want to eat because they remind me of like,
oh my god, that was so special, right you have
anything like that?
Speaker 1: I did?
Speaker 2: I remember when I when I was young, I would
go with I was probably like ten or twelve. I
would go with my dad and on Saturdays to run errands,
and he would go to the grocery store and he'd go, Okay,
what do you want We're going to watch the Love
Boat together tonight. What do you want to snack on?
And he would get any cheetos and orange soda and
that was like a big deal. And then we go
home and then he'd go swimming with me, and I
would like be underwaters thinking about the love Boat and
those cheetos even though he didn't eat it.
Speaker 1: I would just you know, eating my cheetos. I love.
But now it's like, look, I would never eat I don't.
Speaker 2: I mean, once in a while, little bag of cheetos
are fine, like at a picnic or something, but I
don't buy it or orange soda. No way. But yeah,
that was a big deal. And my mom did did cook,
but she was not a very good cook. And her
dishes always had a weird smell to it because she
would wash them and she would never put him in
the dishwasher, which is why I'm kind of traumatized. And
you know, I have to have like the dishwasher at
like steam and get every hot because my mom would
just like rinse under the sink with cold water and
a little soap and then she just pile them on
the sink.
Speaker 1: And it's just like I just never I wanted the
paper plates. I never wanted. And she'd make spaghetti every Sunday, and.
Speaker 2: Sometimes she would she would call it spaghetti a laach,
which had anchilovies in the sauce, and.
Speaker 1: When I was young, I was like, no sake.
Speaker 2: Oh. And she would make meatballs, which I don't like
ground meat. I don't know, maybe it's because of that.
And I don't like spaghetti with marinara sauce. I like
it with like butter or other sauce, like lemon whatever.
And she would make yeah, and I for that night.
I would never eat her food. I would just make
myself a salami sandwich, call it a day, like gross.
Speaker 3: I would make a hot dog. I'm trying to think
the foods that yeah, that my mom would say, Okay,
well good, make yourself something like a peanut butter and
jelly sandwich or a hot dog.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, yeah, that's the way to go.
Speaker 3: I did not like ground meat, although I did like
raw hamburger meat, which back then my mom would let
me have it. Really, I ate really weird stuff when
I was a kid. Ough, I hate ground meat.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: That's why I don't like hamburgers. I mean, once in
a while I have, like a gore mate. If somebody's
barbecuing hamburgers, fine, but like in and out, no, thank you.
Speaker 1: No Donald's hamburgers. No No, I like a filet of
fish from McDonald.
Speaker 3: I just trained myself to like certain things from a
younger age, like because I stopped eating red meat a
long time ago. And I'm not saying like I would
never ever, it's not it's different. It's not like being
a vegetarian. It's just that I don't eat red meat.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: But the point is, like, if if I ate a
slice of pepperoni pizza, I wouldn't be like, oh my god,
I've broken it. But I'm just saying I try to.
So I make turkey burgers, and I really like I
prefer the taste of a turkey burger so much more, yeah,
than like a beef hamburger.
Speaker 2: Yeah, any ground meat at all. Like, And also when
I would go when I mean still day, sometimes I
don't get chicken because it kind of chicken kind of
sks me out sometimes. Really it's certain like if we go, yeah,
like I don't like chicken tacos. I like steak carnitas tacos. Yeah,
not ground beef tacos.
Speaker 1: Interesting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know why like chicken sks me out.
Maybe because I.
Speaker 1: Saw my mom make it all the time.
Speaker 2: At the skin and she would never like clean it properly,
so she'd cook it and you'd see like the hair
sticking out of it.
Speaker 1: It's the feathers.
Speaker 3: Like I know, Mom traumatized me, and it's traumatizing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Lennetta eat and she would barbecue the chicken sometimes
and it would be raw on the inside and burnt
to a crispbody outside.
Speaker 1: She was not so yeah, he was like, you're not
gonna eat the chicken. I'm barbecue for your birthday for
your friends. Tell all the pamas.
Speaker 3: She's chill, eat it, Give it the pam Like, now,
I don't want barbecue chicken for my birthday. Well, let
me ask you a question, you know what. Let's okay,
I'm gonna keep this question in my mind, but let's
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you know if you see that also until we sent
you Okay, here's what I wanted to ask you. Do
you think it's possible that your mom was already suffering
from mental health issues like way earlier but you only
started recognizing it as what it was later, or do
you think that it got worse later?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I always, I was always.
Speaker 2: My mom was very Yes, I think she did have
mental illness early on, and we just chalked it up
to she's just kookie and she's got a lot of
energy because she taught karate, she taught self defense. She
had a black belt and five martial arts. So I
think that when she was older and she had my brothers,
when she was young and then had me like ten,
you know, eight years later, she started really she would
have you know, she would embarrass me in front of
my friends, and she would do all these quirky things
like put my friends to work when they came over,
you know for a party or something. And she would
you know, go to the gym and just be like,
I belong in this gym. I just to walk in
and nobody stops me. I just to walk into the gym. Yeah,
she would do that, and my friend Carlos worked at
that gym, and he was like, she was.
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, Carlos is my nephew. Like la la la la.
Speaker 2: She just walks right in and nobody really like bothered her.
And then she goes to movies and just walk right in.
It's with the crowd. I don't know, like she's done
it a couple of times. So yes, I think she.
Speaker 1: Did have a lot of that.
Speaker 2: And when my dad finally left, he stayed because I
was young, and he stayed for me because she was
very aggressive. She would grab them, pull my hair, she
would squeeze her fingernails into my arms, and you know,
she would you know, smack me around basically and so
my dad was like my comfort and stayed even though
they slept in different rooms, and they, you know, I
hated each other and argue all the time.
Speaker 1: And then when.
Speaker 2: I was like working and was out of the house,
they got divorced. And I think that after the divorce,
she really declined. She she was she was living alone,
and then she started talking to Jesus and seeing Jesus
on the wall and then checking herself into a hotel
and ordering dinner for two and the other dinner was
for Jesus, Like that really happened.
Speaker 1: So yeah, but it did.
Speaker 2: That stuff like hallucinating and talking about Jesus didn't come
till after the worce. And when I was in my
early twenties is when that started. And that's when I
would have to check on her all the time and
blah blah blah. But yeah, I definitely think she had
And that's when you like called the pet team. Yes, yeh,
the psychiatric evaluation team would have to come out. And
I did that like two or three times. It was
so traumatizing. The first time I did it, and she
fought with the police. They wouldn't she wouldn't go with them,
so the police came and she's in the back bedroom
screaming and yelling at them and like punching, like broke
the cops watch, you know, like punching them. They had
to restrain her. And then I was like, I can't
do that again. And we had to do it again.
I had my older brother Dean take care of but
it was like I'm not I can't be a part
of that again. And then she did put in a
hospital for like a fourteen day hold, and then they'd
give her medication and then she wouldn't take it. She
just wouldn't take it. After she came home, like the
medication helped. I think she needed to be on medication. Yeah,
probably her whole life. And then it was like, oh, well,
that's probably why my brother has schizophrenia. She probably has
the gene, you know, which is scary because it's it's hereditary,
you know, and I think about you know, I was
thinking about my kids, and then I think about my
nieces and nephews, like you just you never know. But yeah,
it was That's that's basically how it went with her.
She need medication early on, and I knew it. I
knew she was nuts, kind of kooky And.
Speaker 3: It's interesting though, because when you're younger, it's when you
look back and you go at what age And I'm
asking the question for myself too, like at what age
did you go like, oh, this isn't The way I'm
being raised is not normal because mine was always such
a gray area too, Like my mom was, you know,
very mean, and I would notice that other people's moms
were not really like that, and that people's other people's
moms seemed maybe more consistent or they weren't really scared
of their moms. But you know, you just convince yourself like, well,
I must just be difficult, and my mom would tell
me I was difficult and too needy and too much
I know. But when you're when you're young, you just
go okay, I guess yees.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: You grow up with that and you think it's kind
of normal until you start seeing other parents and like
that's not you know. And i'd watch TV too, like
I see like how moms are on TV, and I.
Speaker 1: Mean I can't, I mean, I can.
Speaker 2: As far back as I can remember, my friends were
always afraid of my mom, and then as they got older,
they would make, you know, not make fun of her,
but like, you know, hey, Helen, Paradise, and she'd call
and be like, let me talk up to Lynette.
Speaker 1: Put Lynette on the phone.
Speaker 2: And I was not the borner yesterday, but she'd always said,
put the Lynette on the phone. You're like, okay, Helen,
she's not here, you know. And so I had to
deal with that, and you know, and then.
Speaker 1: And then she just got worse and worse.
Speaker 2: And then I finally had to get a nurse to
come and like give her medication. She didn't want to
do that, but I somehow talked her into it. And
then she passed away in her seventies, laid down to
take a nap on the way to the gym that
she didn't belong to.
Speaker 3: So she would still be going to the gym at
the end. Yeah, and to the gym that she didn't
have a membership too.
Speaker 2: Well, it was jack O Laine Jim, Oh my gosh
for that, Yeah, and she had a membership.
Speaker 1: Then then it turned into twenty four hour Fitness.
Speaker 2: And that's when my friend Carlos worked there, and he
was like, yeah, yeah, she go Carlos is my nephew,
and he'd go, yeah, she's my friend's mom. She's whatever,
and they let her do it. But then I think
eventually she couldn't. Maybe I bought her a membership so that,
you know, she wouldn't get troubled when she they wouldn't
hassle her.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So yeah, and then you know, it just got worse
and worse, you know, and even she, I mean, she
would kind of take when the nurse was there, she
would take the medications, but then she'd argue with the
nurse and the nurse would call me, I tried, she
won't take it, blah blah blah. And you know, shortly
after that she died.
Speaker 3: Did your dad help it all with that? Or when
he when they got divorced, did he like, was he
like a dealer in Vegas?
Speaker 1: Like I'm out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, his name was Paul, and he's like that's between y'all. Yeah, yeah,
he was like, I mean, he understood my you know,
my uh trauma from her and like, you know, check
in on me and stuff. But then I got older
and I was out of the house, and I was
just kind of taking care of her and giving her
money and checking on her all the time. And then
you know, and my dad was old too. My dad
was like living alone and heart condition and stuff like that.
So yeah, he didn't there was no help. Now, my
brother kind of helped during those times, but no, he
didn't pay for doctor's appointments or anything. I did all
that when I was, you know, working at ABC or
carc Warner one of those.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I was like she was my burden and you know,
and then you know, she died and it's like I
miss her. But then it was like kind of a relief,
you know, it was like she's not suffering anymore, because
I felt she was suffer like she I told you
the story which I found her. I was calling her
and she wasn't answering, and I went over there and
I found her on the floor in the bathroom. And
to this day, I don't know what happened. She was
on the floor and she was like Linette Delynette that
she said she's been.
Speaker 1: There for a few days. There was ants all over her.
She couldn't get up.
Speaker 2: Her arms were purple, black and blue, from her neck,
from her shoulders she dislocated. One of the shoulders was dislocated.
And I was like, what happened? And she was like
there was a twister that she kept saying a twister, twister, twister,
I'm like an earthquake. She'd no, no, I don't. She
probably blacked out. I don't know how she got all
those bruises on her arm. There was no sign of
somebody entering the house at all. She just blacked out,
I guess. And the doctor said that her sodium level,
her sodium levels were very, very high, and that she
could have blacked out. But again, like how does she
get a dislocated shoulder? And why are both arms black
and like purple? They were really bad. She was in
the hospital for a couple of days. Yeah, was she
in pain when you found her?
Speaker 3: Was she she was?
Speaker 1: She was not at you know, in pain.
Speaker 2: She was just kind of like lifeless, a little bit
like she like she was tired, Like she wasn't loud
like her normal self. She was just kind of talking quietly.
She's probably in a lot of pain. But immediately I
had the ambulance come get her and take her and yeah,
and they had to like fix her shoulder, They had
to pop her so he shoulder back in and yeah,
she had to wear a brace and stuff. Yeah, so
I was taking care of her, like that's what I
was dealing with And there were times where I would
call and she doesn't answer, and call them she doesn't answer,
and then she would then when she did answer, she
would say all these weird things, like, you know, they're
the people are after Dean, the people are going to
get the Dean. And then we got to do something
about it, and like, no, thing's fine, there's nothing wrong
with Dean.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: She just got really really started hallucinating and saying all
these crazy things. But she wasn't like that when I
was growing up. She was she had she was manic, definitely.
She had some bipolar probably and she was manic hypomanic
where she was up all the time and happy all
the time. Like she wasn't a depressed person. She was
always over the top, a lot of energy. I gotta
go worked out, I gotta do that.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: She was always on the go, driving her white Mercedes convertible,
you know, in between two lanes, like straddling the lanes so.
Speaker 3: You never saw her on the other side. And the crashes.
She never was like depressed set No, I don't know,
I don't remember. She would never be in her bed.
She would exercise first thing in the morning, in the
living room, put her music on.
Speaker 1: Oh what's going on? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Wow, it's funny because like my uh, I was gonna
say my real father, my my bio dad, Stanley. You know,
he was definitely manic depressive, but I don't remember mania
from him. I remember he is also like fucked up
on pills, but I mostly remember him being depressed.
Speaker 1: Oh really.
Speaker 3: And that was a burden too, because it was constantly
just like, oh God, nothing's working out, like you know,
everybody's against me, Like the business is so hard, all
these people are trying to steal my money like everybody was.
Speaker 2: He was.
Speaker 3: And it wasn't even paranoia either. It was then my
stepfather was paranoid. I mean it was. It was a lot. Yeah,
my stepfather was very antisocial. I don't know if he
had mental illness. He had like for some personality stuff
going on though, right right right, And he was also
all yeah, just very like thought a lot of people
were against him. Was constantly taking people to court. He
loved to take people to small claims court.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, did he ever call you or ask you for things?
Speaker 3: Your stepdad, my stepfather, No, he and my mom are
still together, like right, he got everything. He needed from
my mom. But my but Stanley was always calling me
for stuff when we were speaking, and I only remember
one time that my mom would help me, and it
was when I was trying to find a place for
him to go, because it was that time that I
told you that was super traumatic, where I thought he
was going to try to commit suicide and I I
had a welfare check and I had the fire department
came to his house and that whole story that I've
told a million times. But after that, we had him
put on a seventy two hour hold, and then I
was going to try to find him somewhere to live
because I was like, he can't take care of himself,
he won't clean this place, he doesn't pay his rent,
like you know, he needs to be somewhere. And then
I was going to go looking at places and it
was super depressing, and I do remember asking my mom
for help because in my mind, I'm like, he was
your husband, Like it's not my faulty, you know what
I mean, Like it's it's unfair that she could like
wash her hands of it, and that I was kind
of stuck with this guy and nobody else in your
family could help or any anybody. My immediate siblings, my
brother and sister were not related to him, right, And
he had kids from his other marriages who I didn't know,
so wow, you know what. I he didn't talk to
them or anything. He wasn't in touch with them. So
the first one was a guy who was much older
than me, because my mom was a wife number three,
so his first wife, he married her when he was
really young, and they had son. I've never met him,
and he's much older, and he lived in New York
and he was very broke all the time, like very complaining,
like I don't have any money. A couple of times
I talked to him on the phone and he was
all like a total victim. Then he was married again
and he had two boys, and one of them, remember
ended up being the Blue Man of Portland. Oh remember
that Patreon where I discovered that he was, like he
was like a homeless, crazy guy living in Portland who
would paint his whole body blue.
Speaker 1: Right, okay for that.
Speaker 3: And then the other brother is a little more together,
and I have talked to him and he actually helped
me a little bit when Stanley died. But I was
not I didn't know them well at all, Like I
couldn't ask them for help, and they never checked in
or did anything for him.
Speaker 1: As far as I know, that's great.
Speaker 3: And the last kid that came after me was sixteen
years younger than me, and he's he was not helpful.
Let's just say that he was not in any position
to help me, right.
Speaker 1: Wow, out of all those kids, right, So I was
on my own. I asked my mom.
Speaker 3: My mom was like, I don't really want to have
anything to do with this, but I'll spend one day
going with you to some places. It was hard for her.
And then basically I went and picked him up from
the hospital. I was going to try to take him
to a and I did get him into a place.
My mom did not help me after that got him
into the place, and then my mom was like, I'm
out of this is I'm not helping any like, who
does he have insurance? Or how did they let him
help place on his SSI? You know what, I just
remembered something. I don't want to be unfair. My stepfather
did try to My stepfather went and visited him. This
is I have a vague recollection of this happening. I
think my stepfather went to see him. Could it have
been in the hospital. I don't really remember, but because okay,
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It's like it's the texture of it is so soft.
Speaker 1: And they have robes. I want to get a robe.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. Nice. Okay.
Speaker 3: I was going to tell you, Oh my god, what
was I going to tell you? Your stepfather, Yes, went
to my stepfather, yes, he Oh my god, what was
I going to tell you? It's about It was.
Speaker 1: About your young assembly. The younger one.
Speaker 3: No, it wasn't about him. It was it was about
my stepfather. I am literally the worst. It was about
him being trying to help out my father. Oh, you
found a place for him. I found the for him.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And then.
Speaker 3: I just remember, oh, well I was I went to
take him home from the hospital. I think I was
going to tell you this and I was going to
bring him to his place, but he had and I've
told you this too before that he had met a
guy at the mental hospital and he was like, this
guy Tony and I are going to be roommates. He's
going to sleep on my couch. I got it all
worked out. It's a genius plant stuff. Wait to get
a load of this. This guy Tony, he's great guy.
He's going to sleep on my couch. He's going to
pay the rent or split the rent with me. No, no,
Tony's going to sleep in my bed and I'm going
to sleep on my couch and he's going to pay
more of the rent. And I was like, yeah, that's
not a good idea.
Speaker 1: This is a guy you.
Speaker 3: Just met at a fucking mental hospital.
Speaker 1: Right, Oh my god, No, Like, how do you talk
him at him?
Speaker 2: Did you were you able to talk him out of it,
or just didn't work out.
Speaker 3: I think the guy flaked on him or something. I
think I was just like, I don't know, like you're
gonna have to, I guess figure it out. But somehow,
my step Oh, I know what I was going to
tell you, the lore. The lore is it. And I
told you this before too, But my stepfather and my
biological father were best friends, BFFs.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 3: Uh then my I guess my father no, because my
mom was already married.
Speaker 1: So those two were best friends. And then, uh, you know.
Speaker 3: He was a friend of the family, my stepfather, and
he lived in our back house. And I told you
all that. So when my mom when they got divorced,
and then my mom hooked up with you know, the friend,
the best friend, those two were like enemies for a
long time because Stan was like, you fucked my wife,
Like you know what I mean, Like that's like even
though those two were in love and are like still
together whatever, you know, seventy years later, fine, it all
worked out for them. But for Stan, I mean many
many years later. I'm talking about when I was a
full adult. He every time I was with him, he'd
still complain. Oh, ah, that guy you know came in there,
and oh my god, he would just complain about my mom.
And so neither of those two wanted to help me
out much, is what I'm saying, right right, right, gil
My stepfather did not want to have much to do
with Stan, but he did. I do remember that he did,
like go see him, and I kind of think in
a way, maybe for himself, but I felt at the
time like it was to help me too, you take
some of the pressure off.
Speaker 1: But it didn't work. It didn't work. No, you don't
talk to them at all.
Speaker 3: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: Your your mom and your stepdad and they live close by.
Speaker 1: That's insane.
Speaker 3: Not since Elbie was two. I think it was right
around the time that she turned two, because the year
she turned one was when I got into the fight
with them over Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: Remember that.
Speaker 3: And then I made up, like I apologized, even though
I didn't owe anybody in apology, just to keep the peace,
and then we tried to have a relationship. And I
do remember that when Elbie turned two, my mom had
bought me, bought her something like a little bike or
something like a little like a like a tricycle kind
of thing, and I'm pretty sure that was like the
last time I saw her, because then they were you
know this, they were like messing with my brother and
we just got into this thing where I was like,
I cannot have this in my life. And my mom
was basically like, well, this is just how it's going
to be. So I don't know what to tell you.
And I literally haven't talked to them since. And she's
crazy twenty one.
Speaker 2: It's crazy. She has grand children, like doesn't even want
to like see them or anything. That's insane to me.
That's really sad.
Speaker 1: She's never met my brother's kids either. That is incredible.
That's like hacking. Wow, it says a lot about her. Yeah, terrible.
Speaker 3: My nephew, Beckett, is fifteen and his younger sister is
you know, four years younger than that, Like she's twelve, yeah,
I mean or turning twelve? Actually who today? O happy birthday? Yeah,
So I mean a little crazy.
Speaker 2: Well let me ask you, do you This is like
something that I've been thinking about lately, and I actually
was talking to my friend Melyssa about it. But like
she's going my friend is going through this, you know,
taking care of her father in law who's in and
out of the hospital because everybody else is working and
she's got the time to do it.
Speaker 1: She's, you know, stay home mom.
Speaker 3: And you know, we were talking like what what.
Speaker 2: I don't want my kids to have to worry about
me when I'm old or they have to check on
me or whatever. It's like, you know, I want to
like make sure, you know what I mean, Like how
do you you got a plan for it? Like, I
don't want the burden to be on them like it
was on me. You know, it's tough, and I know
it's part of life. You know, your parents get older
and you have to deal with it. But as far
as like getting me to a hospital or checking on
me or you know what I mean or whatever, I don't.
Hopefully I'm fine and I'm moving around, but you know,
never know.
Speaker 3: You know, well, you're going to be in the over
fifty five community. Yeah Suzanne, Wait, no, not with su
with who wants you to live there? Oh no, what's
her name?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah?
Speaker 3: Sorry? I was like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, totally.
Speaker 2: She she wants me to move to Palm Springs in
the retirement community where she lives. And she's constantly setting
me like houses and stuff like.
Speaker 1: No, I am not moving to Palm Springs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then she's like just complaining this weekend about
all the coach. I'm going to see her on Sunday
we have a brunch together a couple other girls. But yeah,
I ain't moving to Palm Springs.
Speaker 1: No, thank you.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean I do think, like, you know,
got a plan for the future. And uh, it's because
it's tough, you know, when you know, I'm glad that
they have each other to lean on, but you know,
I think about that. I've been looking at houses by
the way, and oh and I went and stopped Bruce.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, say ye for Friday. Should I talk
about it now?
Speaker 3: Uh? I pick one of those and tell us about it?
I think, all right, I'll save Bruce for Friday.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So went out looking and you know, I get listings
like twice a week of it's very slim chickens right
now because of the war and everything, I think, and
nobody wants to sell or you know, it's just there's
just not much inventory in an area that I'm looking,
so I don't know. And then Suzanne bought a house
in Santa Clarita and my girlfriend, Yeah, she's moving in May.
Speaker 1: She's moving out there.
Speaker 2: Wow, And yeah, yeah, it's like a it's a two
bedroom and her boyfriend has like four kids. They're all adults,
but they all are living there, all working and living
in their own places. But they lived close by where
they are now, and they would come over for dinners
a bunch of nights a week.
Speaker 1: And now they're probably not going to go all the
way out.
Speaker 2: To Santa Clarita because for those of you that don't know,
it's pretty far.
Speaker 3: Well I never do.
Speaker 1: And that's where my brother and sister in law live. Right,
it's like a forty five minute drive. Thanks scaling traffic, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: Well Thanksgiving there's like hole, not much traffic, but like
during the week. Then I'm mutch in the valley the
other night and they're talking to about she she lives
in they bought a house in Santa Clarita.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Nia, Well I know that's all they talked about
the first season, Nia and Daniel Dan.
Speaker 2: Yes, and she's like, she mentioned it took her two
hours to get home, Like, oh great, I don't know.
I don't know, but there's a lot of more inventory
out there, so.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: So are you considering that.
Speaker 1: I get a little bit. What about like just renting
again until like the prices go back down to the boat.
Speaker 2: No, I think I think that the plan is to
buy something. And luckily, I mean, I can keep renting here.
I don't have to move. They said, I can stay
as long as I need to. Yeah, okay, I don't
have to. Yeah, I didn't sign another lease. I told
them I was looking for houses. So they're like, stay
as long as you want, you know, let us know.
So that's good, so I can take my time. But yeah,
when on Friday, looked at like four houses on Saturday
and no, nothing, like two of them are right by
a free like right up against the freeway, like you
hear the freeway in the bedroom.
Speaker 3: Oh no, and that's also just not good for your lungs.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, but I don't know.
Speaker 2: We're going to keep looking, keep checking, and it's kind
of fun. It's kind of you know, I'm sending Wendy
listings and then she's sending me stuff back, and we're looking.
But it's like, you know, it doesn't have some of
them don't have the enough bedrooms that I need. It's
just it's kind of tough. Yeah, right now, And my
realtor said, yeah, it's not. Not a lot is happening
right now in the market, but he's hoping it's going
to pick up soon. So we'll keep you posted on that.
Speaker 3: All right, Well, Friday, i'll tell you about Xander's accepted
students stay at Chapman, and you can tell me about Bruce,
and then we'll talk about some.
Speaker 1: Stuff like what we're watching, et cetera.
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, people should watch Yeah and The False Prophet
on Netflix because we're going to talk about it on Friday.
Speaker 3: Yes, and if you watched I don't know, did you
watch Love on the Spectrum because I watched.
Speaker 1: All of that, watch the shit out of it. We
can love.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we can talk a little bit about that, and
also just for anybody that wants like a full discussion
of it, Cecily and I did that on Rose Pricks
and that's coming out today, No tomorrow, the day you're
listening to this, and then the next day is like
part two.
Speaker 1: But we can talk about it too. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, let's say hello to all of our friends,
like Katie's rolling on E and Christi gets the Strap
and Stephanie's a stinker Rinker and Sandra it's not easy
being green and Aaron who it is? No, dirty Sanchez,
dirty Sanchez. Oh Leslie with the coughing.
Speaker 1: I know. We need Aaron Landis to come back so
we can so we can say who it is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and Alicia the City They Yeah, Mon and Kelly,
Geez your aunt yep? And and Pey what and Gabby
and Missy did you see them at Bruce?
Speaker 2: I did, but they were scalping tickets for some other
show the night.
Speaker 1: That sounds like scalping tickets to some other concert. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And Katerina check your moller and Valerie hits it out
of the park and Polly, we love your pancakes. Rita
rocks the Bassiette with Elizabeth Williamson's kids, Nikki call your girls,
and Dick is follicking and uh, we got a couple
of new business shout outs. Well, we have Jen and
Ari with their podcast Three Gray Three Gray Cubes. It's
about aging, estrogen, rage, all the stuff. It's funny. They're
very edgy and cool and it's radical honesty. Check check
them out. Three Gray Pubes. Also, I forgot who this is,
but it doesn't matter. Her business is Spoonful. Oh, her
name's Natasha. She's our listener and her business is Spoonful
of Memories dot life. This seems really cool. This is
a website that turns your family recipes into a printed cookbook.
So it's a great gift for anyone that loves to cook.
Think about it, guys, Mother's days coming up. Spoonful of
Memories dot life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's awesome. I know.
Speaker 3: Also, our girl, Kayleie Pettis, she's the therapist located in Seattle,
but she can see you anywhere in Washington State. Go
check out Emerald Bloomtherapy dot com. Our friend who has
a column on Medium dot com is Unbecoming Stories. Go
to Medium and just check out. Can you guys just
trust me on this please? Family Skeptical. It's a podcast
about raising kids without religeing. So if you want to
do stuff when not like be dogmatic, check out a
podcast to help support you. Also, if you're in Palm
Springs or Palm Desert and you you know before you're
going to visit Lynette at her over fifty five retirement place,
check out Willman Freedom Palm Springs, Warm Palm Desert. Also
Basic Becky just Basicbecky dot com. Go check out her website,
check out all the fun designs and use the code
FCOL for a discount.
Speaker 1: I love Becky.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and uh, Adam Lerner. Adam's got a car. He
can get you any kind of car. He can help
you figure out what the best deal is. If you
already know the car you want, he'll help you find
the best deal on it. Whatever. Just text him. Just
go to Adam's got a Car and check him out. Yeah,
all right, nice. We love you guys so much. You're
a parent, now, don't f it up.
Speaker 1: May Ingle