Speaker 1: This is an Unspoiled Network podcast. This is spoil Me
covering Dungeon Crawler Carl Book eight, A Parade of Horribles,
chapters fourteen through No, No, it's actually not it's chapters
eight through thirteen. This is just mislabeled because I had
to push things back ignore it. In these chapters, do'nut
has a crazy new skill that I think is actually like,
I'm not like that stoked about it. We meet some
of the NPCs that we are going to be racing against,
and it is a real grab bag of weird and
overall I just feel really uneasy. I don't know what
it is. Welcome to spoil Me, Welcome to the show everyone.
I am Natasha. Thank you very much to Michael for
commissioning this episode. I don't see Michael here in the chat,
but hopefully he joins us at some point. I if
you guys, there is so much I don't know. I'm
trying to find a way to describe how I'm feeling
in words, because you know, everybody thinks differently, and I
don't just mean like opinions. I mean like the way
that our mental image of things or lack of functions
is dally different from person to person, and some folks
can't even picture things as an image in their heads
at all. That's like, you know, there's a word for it,
I can't remember, but they simply can't do that. And
then there's me who all I have is like mental images,
and I can picture things very easily, and to the
degree that dreams are really intense for me, and there's
always music playing in my head, and there is original
music in some of my dreams, and it's just quite
a lot. And due to this the way that I imagine,
like when you have a book that you've read, if
somebody says the title of it to you, a lot
of times there will be a sort of like energy
that you feel at hearing the name of it, maybe
a mental image or a sentence or character name that
pops into your head. That's like really the impression overall
that you took away. And considering how many things I
have covered, this can vary obviously wildly, but for some reason,
with Dungeon Crawler Carl, my mental image is like a
bowl of spaghetti. It's the most confused, twisted up, disorganized,
all over the place, scattering of people, characters as well
as like like NPC descriptions, vehicles, floors, factions like I
just it's a bigger, messier picture that pops into my
mind when Dungeon Crawler Carl is mentioned, then with almost
anything I have covered, And I've been trying to figure
out exactly why that is, because I have covered very
complex series and this hasn't exactly happened. And I'm beginning
to think that part of it is the fact that
our characters do keep getting new abilities and new equipment
and leveling up and changing, and that's part of why
my brain is having a little bit of trouble keeping
everything in mind and keeping up. It's like our characters
they are the same people, and Donut and Carl they
have changed, of course over the course of the series.
There's just no way to avoid that. But there still
are people. We still know them, you know, Ellie and Amani,
same thing. Like, certainly they have changed, but overall they
are still the same people. But there is something about
the way that everybody gets new equipment and new abilities
that I I think my brain tries to compensate for
in mental imagery, and there is simply no way to
do that after a point because there's too much to
keep track of, and I think that's part of it,
is like my brain is trying to include everything and
there's no way. And I know I've mentioned before that
I am really curious exactly how Matt Deneman keeps track
of all the skills and items that they have, because
there must be a spreadsheet, There's got to be something
to refer back to, and I cannot imagine what it
must be like, because I get my mental image is
so confused that sometimes I feel overwhelmed enough that I
need to stop and take a breath for a second
while I'm reading. And I can do that, and I
can also simply not remember and let it wash over me,
and it ultimately almost never matters. But when you're the
writer like you do, got to keep an eye on
this stuff, you know. And I just really feel for
him because this is intricate. There's a lot. So I'm
saying all this to explain to you guys that I
am expecting my descriptions, my summaries of these next chapters
to sound a little confused, because as much as there
is a straight line of the plot unfurling, it feels
at times like it's not a straight line at all,
because we have all of these weird directions to go
in at the same time we have the straight line.
Inasmuch as there is a new floor that we are on.
There is an objective on this floor. There is you know,
a very specific This is actually a much more goal
oriented floor than the others have been. Really, but there
is so much going on in the wings because of
politically what is happening outside the dungeon, because of the
AI and what is going on with that, because of
the abilities that are being brought into the mix, because
of the emotional impact of what has happened on the
last floor. That it is a lot. It's a lot. Sorry,
there's a fly like on my mic. That's really rude.
Can you please thank you so sorry? Jeff says. I
bet it gets a lot of how come blank didn't
use the blank power? And that's exactly what I'm like wondering.
I actually bet that he has a cadre of nerdy
friends that he has gotten hyper fixated on this who
are very reliable at being able to spot that sort
of thing, you know, I hope, but it like I
am not good enough at keeping abilities in mind when
there are so many to ever ask that sort of question, really,
so you don't have to worry about that for me, Matt,
don't you worry. So chapter eight opens with Dona opening
her boxes and all of the accessories that she got,
and there's this Egyptian headdress called the Assassin's Veil that
can only be worn by a female cat plus ten
percent to dexterity. The precognition benefit warns where if someone
nearby is preparing an offensive or binding spell or readying
a skill, enemies of segment will automatically be hostile to
you if you wear this in their presence, And Mordecai
warns her that you can transfer it to transfer it
to your tiara, but the conditions where segment people will
be an enemy to you will carry over also, which
I really appreciated him pointing out, because that is kind
of a big detail, Like, you know, the female and
cat things aren't an issue, but the enemy segment might
be a problem because the goddess is most definitely going
to be under Odet's thumb, which means all of Odet's
enemies will be houstile towards you, and knowing Odebt, that's
going to mean pretty much everybody, let's do some research
before you drain it, which uh good looking out. I
really do wonder about Odette though, like, oh, I am
not at all criticizing Mordecai for holding Odette responsible for
the death of his brother. I do not. You guys
know that, like that is fair and she knows it.
But I will say that I don't think he quite
understands where she is right now mentally regarding everything, and
I think he is going to be a little bit surprised.
So let's see. The other hats are for Mango and rend.
One was a fabricat with shiny blue and gold stripes,
had two wide bands on either side that were designed
to hang down, almost like large floppy ears. It was
the same sort of a pharaoh would have worn, though
it looked more like something from a cheap costume shop.
The other was a headband, a piece of fabric Rambo style,
but covered with an intricate pattern. I couldn't quite make out.
The hat will in view a pet with eternal protector
of rage. Pet will become temporarily invulnerable and will gain
two times strength if it is within three meters of
its owner and their health is below ten percent. Which
is crazy. That's so within three meters is pretty tight,
but if she's down to ten percent, he'd better be
within three meters, like yeah, fair Bringer of Death bites
from this pet have a seventy five percent chance to
inflict cruel sepsis, and then the second one wrap of segments,
Compassion Eternal Protector of Health pet will become temporarily invulnerable
and will gain the Heel Party Member skill if it
is within three meters of its owner and it's owner's
health is below ten percent, and vulnerability will last sixty
seconds and can only trigger once per day. The Bringer
of Resurrection Fatal bites from this pet have a seventy
five percent chance to cast a level ten raised boot
liquor on the corpse, which is bananas. I am really
curious what raised boot liquor is like. That's I am
looking forward to seeing that in action. And Mordecai says,
if we make it to the eleventh floor, Donuts former
Child Actor class might come with mercenary accessories as well.
Because Biggs the Slugglow is a sluggle at is wondering
why she didn't get anything, and I love this energy, Bigs.
I love that she's just like around, you know, Biggs
is she's the changeling? Where is she? Trying to remember?
Because I know that we had the one, but I
can't recall if that's the same one. I feel like
it can't be right, because well I don't know how
that works, all right, So sorry, Oh no, Bigs is
the one that came out of Carl and killed what's
her face? That's that's who Bigs is. Y. Yeah, okay,
I need to work out how we're going to deal
with engineering you a driving system, but we also need
to conserve our blood bar time. I might drag the
engineering table into the garage once we're sure we can
keep the garage cure and MANI and Ellie are already
out there in the town and you guys, I will
be honest because I feel like I have to address
how very stupid I am. I kept forgetting that everybody
can meet up because we're like, you know, on our
separate race tracks. We have separate garages, we have separate
gremlins working, we have you know, and so somehow I
just thought we were all going to be separated all
floor long, and of course for not. There are towns
where we meet up. Even the racetrack converges so that
we're together, you know what I mean. Like, but I
just failed to keep this in mind, and so there
was a part of me that kept being like, Oh,
it sucks that we're not gonna be able to see
anybody else this book and like or not until we
actually have to race against them. And I don't know,
I was just drawn a lot of conclusions that was
just not Donut already had her boxes running and she
gets some really really great stuff, but we'll get into
it in a second. She wants to open all of
them and then discuss it after, and she gets really
annoyed that Carl and Mordecai keep talking about the loot
as it's being opened. She's like, you're ruining it, which
I do understand, having a principle on exactly how you
do all of this, but uh, you know U. Rosette
asked Carl, did you see what Justice did? And he
says I did, but I don't understand it, and she says,
nobody knows. I don't think this floor it might not
matter so much, but maybe and I knew that he
hadn't told anybody, but I guess I assumed that when
Rosetta found out what it was he did, that she
would just get it. And I was surprised at the
fact that she is still sort of in the dark.
I just expected her to have some other insight where
she would be like, oh and put two and two
together about things. You know. Uh, she donor gets a
bunch of emergency gremlin school scrolls, and she she really
behaves like this is a silly thing, And honestly I
was not understanding that. I'm like, this is this is
gonna save your ass girl more than once, you know, like,
don't turn your nose up at these. So let's see. Uh,
she got a supper box for killing Mitus. The seven
to eleven Rapper dipped dripped imaginary blood as the magical
bag pee back to reveal a quiver with a handful
of glittering crossbow bolts. And I don't know about the
seven to eleven Rapper thing, is that what Lorena Bobbittt
put his dick in when she threw it away? Is
that Like a lot of little references within all of
these books, but this chapter specifically, there's a few so
enchanted cross bowl bolts the dan Forth. This bolt does
no physical damage, but anyone hit with it will be
anchored in place for two seconds times your crossbow skill level.
More specifically, the area of their body that is hit
will be anchored in place. If they happen to be
moving at the time, the physics might get a little messy. Uh.
And then a yellow blanket thing which Mordecai loses it,
and it's the crupper of the Benevolent Champion, and she's
looking at the description of this later and really it's
pretty awful. We'll get there. And then there is a
spell and her paw hurts a little bit. She stretched
her paw and she flecked, so her claws appeared. The
kitchen table ripped in half, and she's sitting on it, reminder,
So she just like false, which is very undignified, and
she like this is a celestial boon type of reward,
and she is feeling a way about it, And honestly,
as dope as this could be, it's a really different
thing to have something that affects your body like you
know this. With Katya, she chose a race in which
changes to her body are part of the way that
race works. So it still sucked, Don't get me wrong.
Because I'm not sure she realized just how much her
actual body was going to be at risk from doing this.
But it was a one time choice to make this choice,
and she did. What happens here is not Donut's choice,
And she doesn't even really understand what's happening to her
until it's over, and then it doesn't come with like
an instruction manual or anything. So she just has to
figure it out and hope she doesn't hurt people or
ruin things. And it's something that affects her actual body
that she can't get away from or take off or
you know what I mean. I would really be kind
of flipped out by this personally. There's just it's crossing
a particular line in a way that I would be
a little bit unnerved by. I think it's permanent, affects
a part of her body in this place. In this case,
her claws just on that paw. It's not a spell
or a skill. Your claws are more powerful. You've been
dipped in radiant light. And she says it says they're
so sharp they can cut through anything in the mortal realm,
and I can slice ghosts. And she worries both about
her litter box about jumping onto Carl's shoulder, and then
at one point she is just like, and what about
the biscuits? The what Mordecai said, biscuits? Mordecai, I need
to make biscuits, And I just really that's There was
a meme I saw one time where a guy was
like going around asking people from different countries what do
you call it when a cat does this? And the
various answers that he got from different cultures and something,
it's like, you know, baking bread, making biscuits, kneading dough,
rolling out dough, baking a pie, all of these different things.
And then he got to a Russian guy and the
Russian guy said, what the cat is making is the
cat's business, and I just lost. I am not going
to pry. That cat has its own agenda and has
a right to privacy. Oh god. And of course one
of the first things she asks too is like, can
I change the color because they glow blue? And I
love that Rosetta picks up she picks red claw caps
so that the light together shines out purple. Rosetta, you
get it. I really appreciate you, girly, I really really
do so let's see, the caps disappeared into donuts inventory
and then appeared on her claws, and she's able to
react retract them, and definitely is still flipped out, but
she's trying to reconcile herself to this. She also gets
the ice Slick spell, which creates a one inch layer
of ice, which that's thick. That's a lot and could
potentially really fuck somebody's day up. And then she gets
the Crupper and she's super excited. I just got an
achievement for wearing a match set it. Since I thought
I can find the last piece, I get a fourth
piece as a reward. And she trailed off, her eyes flashing,
and suddenly she was stiff again. She sat and she
started to lick her paw. It's a very nice item,
she said. It didn't take long for me to figure
out what it upset her. It was the item's description.
You fucking asshole, I thought, let's talk about what a
hero is. You received this prize because you performed one
of the most brutal kills in the history of this game.
Do you know how much gore that attack generated? Do
you know what happens to teeth when they're pushed through
a chain. Can you believe kids? Watch this shit? Do
you know? Oh who you killed in that attack? Fathers, mothers, children.
Take for instance, Sanderson pink Staff. He was a Noll
mercenary that had worked for the Tag household for the
majority of his life. And he goes on and is
just like giving humanity to the people that she killed.
And it's such an awful thing because I actually can
see in some ways, as much as this may come
across as a cold blooded description meant to hurt donut,
I actually don't think that's what it is. I think
it really is the AI mulling over that you can
do something hideous and other people call you a hero,
and what does that mean? Like this all feels like
he is simply stating the facts of who some of
these people were and what they did and how their
families would feel. And there's no sense, in my mind
from the way this is described as there's no sense
of like judgment coming from the AI, like you are
a bad person, you don't deserve to be called a
hero or anything like that. It's just in fact, eventually
the AI is like, you know, I a previous version
of me would have said you did this, but I'm
learning you don't want to be here either. You didn't
ask for any of this, and everybody is a hero
or a villain depending on who you are to that person.
I understand Carl saying you fucking asshole because all of
the specificity is hurtful and the AI does not need
to do this. But the AI doesn't care about you.
The AI is going through his own shit, and so
that's what's happening, is that she's just like a casualty
of that where the AI is trying to figure this out.
He even asks himself like I really get my rocks
off from all of this killing, and that can't be
how I was built to be, right, Like, that's not normal,
that doesn't make sense. This can't be it. And something
about that as well. There's more self judgment going on
than there is judgment of donuts. It's just a really
oh god, I just really understood the AI saying, like,
thinking out loud with this in a way that I
can be this way too, where I will just say
things as fact that are fact, but when said that
way can sound very hurtful to somebody, and I'll be
so in my head about trying to sort things out
that I am not clocking at all that somebody has
been hurt by something I said, because to me, I'm
just categorizing things, you know, And then I'll kind of
come out of this and look and be like, oh
my god, I really freaked them out or piss them
off or hurt them you know what I mean, hurt
their feelings. There's just something weirdly relatable about this to
me in a way that's like the AI is just
trying to sort out but we say this and we
mean this, but when this is really what happened, how
can that be? And I have these sorts of questions
all the fucking time. I have all kinds of moments
where I'm just like, why would we respond like this
to that? You know, you just talk it through in
your head, and yeah, I just found this like it
was very upsetting, but it was also very like understandable,
and it made me want to sit down with the
AI and be like, yeah, let's talk this through, Bud,
like figure it out. You know that was raised to
match your highest base stat will be buffed in additional
twenty percent, which is constitution. Your fine weekend skill will
rise to ten. One spell of your choosing that had
risen to level fifteen may now be raised to level sixteen.
Additional benefits and boons will appear should you obtain all
four pieces of this matched set. And she asks what
spell should I raise it to, and she picks puddle Jumper.
So I actually think that's a great idea. I don't
necessarily know if the vehicle would puddle jump with them.
I don't. I'm not sure how that would work, but
it's worth a shot, so anyway. Chapter ten, then we
go to do Carl opening stuff, and the first one
he gets is an achievement bombs away. It's always fun
when we truly discover what someone's weaknesses. I mean, this
has been evident for quite some time, but it's really
nice to have confirmation. You know what I'm saying, And
it's donut. Obviously we all did know, but yes, he
almost fucked everything up with that whole thing. Good God.
And then he gets default winner achievement and names all
of these different people who received awards, but only because
the person who actually won was disqualified. Somehow. I looked
into this a little bit because I was curious about
a few things, and I have lost track of who
is who? But one of them was a runner who
literally every other runner for this race got disqualified and
so he was literally the only one who wasn't and
that's how he won, which would be so unsatisfying. And
in the end, it's called a Vanessa Williams box that
has a can of white spray paint in it. And
I am really curious what the deal is with this
spray paint. I tried looking into this and I could
not find an answer. And there was somebody in a
comment section somewhere that said, like, Vanessa Williams was covered
in white paint in the Penthouse spread. Because what happened
was Vanessa Williams was the first black woman to get
Miss America. And she was like, I think you get
to be Miss America for a year. And she was
at like ten months when a bunch of photos that
she had taken were sold without her consent to Penthouse
and published and she lost her crown and eventually they
apologized in like twenty sixteen. It took almost twenty years,
but I went and looked at the photos after this
person claimed that that's what it was, much spicier photos
than I was expecting. By the way, and there was
no white paint that I saw. I don't think that
was it. So I don't know if it's supposed to
be like whitewashing because she was replaced with a white
Miss America or what. I don't know. I don't know,
but I just want to put it out there. If
you guys had any theories on that may be that
it's something that it will become apparent later on. And
I don't get it now, but I just assumed that
it was going to be specifically related to Vanessa Williams
for some reason. And let's see, I'm trying to find
Oh yeah, there's the come to Daddy achievement about staying
and rejecting a deal. There's the wastrel send for letting
Donut eat that ring, and he starts opening all of
his boxes. He gets Dynamite, he gets more emergency Gremlin,
a skilled Potion hot List expansion which is super useful
but not really like a game changer, and he gets
a baby beorn to put Donut in, which he says
that if I wear this with you buckled and I
can use phaser UZI and you'll phase two. And she
says that she will never be like ride in that willingly,
but uh, I think we all know that she'll do
what she needs to do. And then the legendary fan box,
which is a marriage certificate from Princess Chandra, and it's
a bunch of stuff from apparently her dead husband's house,
and there's no rhyme or reason or order to all
of it, and it gets dumped in such a way
that it is They will have to sort through it,
which will take some time. The AI tells Carl that
there are actually a couple things in the mix that
might be useful, but he will have to find them himself.
The AI is not going to be helpful regarding this,
which is unsurprising. I love the fact that there's a
participation trophy. And Rishi came in eighth place, but he
removed the part of the plaque that said what his
place was, which is so funny, Like, yeah, goddamn for
what reason? For what? Like you know, you know, are
do you think that the people around you were going
to be like impressed? I don't know, maybe they were,
what do I know? Samantha at this point says, I
call makeup, and she dives and she comes back up
with the Princess palette, which it turns out is unlicensed.
And I didn't realize that. I thought that was something
like through Doughnuts organization, but not all is it not
the actual color scheme? She is horrified by uh and
there's like a bright electric blue eyeshadow, I think, And
She's just like, oh my god, are you kidding me?
This really cracked me up, like the idea of something
being out there that they just slap my name on.
But then I see it and I'm like, this is trash.
I would be so irritated. I definitely would feel exactly
as Doughnut does, where I'm like, how could you not
consult me? The people deserve better? You know, you can't
even make a good smoky eye with any of this.
How can you even blend these? She says, anyone can
stand out when they spackle on bright colors, and like, listen,
this is the one place where where we will disagree.
I understand if the brand does not represent your tastes
and preferences, but bright makeup has its place and I
am a big proponent of it, and I just don't
have a problem with uh neon blue as a principle.
And then Samantha comes out with red lipstick. It's a
color called pussy lips, and you guys, I had just
grown so hard. I remember the very moment where I
was when I heard that line pulling out of the
Walmart parking lot, and I was just like, oh my god.
So Carl pulls out the cleaner bot that he took
from the operating theater and they reset it, and he
talks to the cleaner bot that they have and is like, Hey,
there's gonna be some stuff that you want to hold
on to. Don't just like vaporize everything, okay, so be
careful with it all. And it is interesting that the
cleaner bot has this vaporize ability now, because I feel
like there's going to have to be something that comes
of that. It's Chekhov's vaporizer. Anyway, later we entered the
garage to find splash Zone, Dong, Mango, and rend All
sitting in a circle. They watched Heiti balance a massive
wrench on the tip of her finger. The Gremlin flipped
the wrench in the air and caught it again on
the same finger, keeping it balanced. Mongo screeched and waved
his wings while splash Zone clapped politely, and it turns
out that there's a bunch of like smaller gremlins that
Heati is like, I don't think they're real gremlins. I
kind of don't get what their deal is, but they
do a lot of the grunt work, and then she
goes in and does really detailed work on repairing, and
we then decide we are going to visit some of
the others, so we go to Hungry Eyes Village entering
your team roundabout. We had a giant seven painted on
the outside of the gray garage door, and safe room
rules apply here, which is interesting. I am really curious
if somebody is going to fuck up and something is
going to happen to them. It just seems like tensions
are high during this meeting. And when they step out,
there's like the smell of cut grass and like lawns
and all these driveways and it's just weirdly suburban, and
the two bugbears are there. It turns out that they
have a refrigerator that gives out endless beer, and one
of them is Peach, and Carl is just like, yeah,
I don't think so. And the joke keeps being that
people reject the Peach flavored beer. I will go on
record as saying it all depends. I can deal with
certain flavorings in beer, but it has to be like
it has to come from a really natural source. There
is a type of beer, a Flemish Red, that is
often served with like a fruit syrup, because the Flemish
red is very sour, and then you sweeten it up
with this fruit syrup. And I find that delightful. But
I'm not really a big beer fan to begin with.
And if you're just taking regular beer and like pouring
peach juice in it, like no, no, thank you pass anyway.
So they are hanging out for a moment, and then
all of a sudden, another door opens, one of the
garage doors, and three figures come out in the most
dramatic acrobatic way possible. It turns out they are ninjas,
but they are doing a group casting to size up
their opponents. And then the one in charge, who is
this Fox Lady, sends the other two away so that
she can come and hang out and just like get
to know them a little bit. Not entirely sure why
the other two are not meant to be included in
this If they have something they're supposed to be doing
or what. But yeah, her uh. She also rejects the
peach beer, but she does drink quite a bit once
it's time to like hang out, and she is a
razor fox. Each one picks a weapon officious proficiency upon childhood,
kind of like a ninja turtle thing, and they train
in both that and an arranged weapon, most like chium.
Here pick throwing stars as their ranged weapon of choice.
You know throwing stars, right, Carl, You still have some
in your inventory, which I had forgotten about, and I
feel like I remember those are from his dad's place.
He got throwing stars that were like one use ordinary
unenchanted throwing stars that were just kind of not impressive
and from what I recall. But uh, yeah, this whole
thing is just such a weird, like introduction, the beer thing,
the fact that she drinks. I'm wondering if this is
going to be significant at all. Oh, and I should
mention that, like the bug Bears having a cooler that
refills with beer, it makes Carl realize that potentially there's
more going on with their food truck than they realize,
because they really haven't gone through it very closely to see.
And I maintain that the gun I bet you is
a working gun. I just really think it must be.
It's gotta be right. But also probably that fridge full
of French fries refills. I wonder if they can make fries.
I wonder if there's like a working deep fryer in there.
I wonder about that. Hmm. So let's see, this is
we need to work together. We're going to take care
of those three. She indicated the first three garages, especially
team number three. The Tigrins in Spot one got lucky,
and I don't know what's up with the weirdos and
the giant dog in second place, But the women with
that car, they're going to win this if we don't
do something now. And it turns out that they are
woman tours who specialize in domination magic, and there's a
guy with them that's like in a gimp suit. But
it turns out that this is not about the domination thing,
and it is about the fact that his body will
fall apart if he doesn't wear a suit to hold
everything together, which just seems like inefficient. I don't really
for what reason. Also, the ladies are on all fours
at first, with their hands stuffed into boots and they
so it looks like they've got four legs instead of
arms and legs. And then later on and I know
I'm jumping ahead, but still I'm trying to find this
Bittre spat a third time and dropped the shredded remains
of the beer can, but it landed inside her boot,
still on the ground. They both lowered their hands into
the boots. I heard a slight crunch as Rapture stuck
her hand in the boot, and she made a pained expression,
but she didn't actually remove the can. They both turned
and started their weird lurch walk toward the portal into town,
Rapture trying not to put weight on the boot with
the can inside. Just before the portal, Rapture stood back
to her height and turned the boot upside down, shaking
the pieces of aluminum out. I was laughing so hard
at this, you guys like it just reminded me very
much of an episode of Community about foosball, and Nick
Kroll is in it as a very competitive German foosballer,
and the way that they all behave is very goofy
and like meant to be intimidating, but also a little
embarrassing at the same time, and this was really hitting
those notes for me. It just really cracked me up.
Trying to like posture even though you're not really doing
a good enough job to hide the fact that you're
in pain. Everybody saw that can fall into your boot.
Who do you think you're fooling? Like, what a weird thing.
They're not, like, you know, as high level as Donut,
but there's still pretty so Genesis is ninety five level
and Rapture is. Oh, Rapture's also ninety five same level,
n class. They did not worship girl like every other
mantor I'd ever seen, and Donut try us to be
nice and it's just like we came to see they say,
we came to see what the competition was, but we
don't see any and we don't waste our time talking
to road kill before they walk away. And I was
just like, Okay, I guess that's pretty weird. When Rapture
is offered a beer, she like harpoons it and draws
it back to her, which I'm surprised that she was
able to even do this in a safe room. I
assume that the intent behind it is somehow interpreted, but
I just wouldn't think that she'd be able to use
a weapon like that. And Donut says, these ladies remind
me of your friend Billy and Maloney's sisters, the ones
that did the body building. Miss Beachers call them the
Walmart sisters, And I thought that was meant to be
an indicator of them being like low class, which I
think it probably also is. It's like a double insult.
But didn't they get arrested at a Walmart for fighting,
like fighting each other? Sort of? It was at a target? Yes,
that's right. You lent Billy the money to bail them out,
but he only bailed out one and then everyone got
mad at you and not Billy for some reason. You guys,
if this isn't Carl's life summed up, somebody does something idiotic,
comes running to Carl for help, Carl steps up and helps,
and then gets absolutely nothing for his troubles, Like, oh
my god, that is so fucking funny. That is so
fucking funny. So yeah, like I said, they eventually just
walk away. The domination magic SAPs energy or manna from
the victim. Your mind balance will keep you immune, and
donuts high charm should also keep her safe. So that's nice,
but I am probably going to have to watch that
work on other people, and I'm not excited about that.
A few spots over the door of the garage Number
three remained open. A figure stood there, mostly hidden in
the shadows. He too was wearing a bodysuit that covered
his body, but it was all black. The suit appeared
to be made of shiny vinyl. A glint of light
implied there was a zipper right at the mouth. What
the shit? This guy was indeed half a man tar
half vertically. It was hard to fully see, but it
appeared he was split right down the center, right between
the eyes and all the way down through the groin.
The creature stood upon a single leg, his right leg
with a right arm and second right arm above that.
Even his suit covered head appeared to be split in half.
Apparently he used to be a stripper, which I don't
even know how that would work. Maybe there are people
out there who get off on your brain sliding out.
I don't know. I really don't, and I don't want to.
I am good. Oh God, donut is like oh, I
remember don Quixote talking about his half mantar friend. Glad
you remembered Donut because this didn't ring any bells for
me at all. I just completely categorized that as not
important and deleted it from the hard drive. So just
as she's figuring this out, and Carl is just like, yeah,
we don't need to tell don about this, We don't
need to get involved. It's just going to be a headache.
Of course, there's a ripple in the air. New quest
reunite Don Quixote with his best friend in the world, Corkunda,
also known as Corky, and they're also told this is
just the first half. There's a second half that will
probably be a lot harder to pull off than this
very easy thing. And I am not looking forward to
seeing what all this is about. I feel like Corkunda
is making me very uncomfortable in a way that I
would rather just sidestep and never actually deal with because
I don't like it. Corkunda, no offense. I know it's
not your fault, but I don't want to be near
you or interact with you in any way. So you know,
sorry about it, but yeah, that's just going to be
a no for me. Dog. And let's see if you
successfully complete this quest. Two stand ins of your choosing
will be sent to the arena on the eleventh floor.
Exactly what does that mean? Does that mean that you
can get rid of stand ins? I don't even know
what this means. I guess we're not meant to know yet.
All right, all right, so yeah, that is the end
of chapter thirteen. I'm just realizing, Wow, I'm under time.
This didn't feel like a real short section, and there
was a fair amount to talk about here, but I'm
like way undertime. Okay, Well, I can actually go through
some of the chat here. Sorry. Saraphim is saying it
was mentioned earlier that the Fanbox had been voted to
give him everything the Naga he killed owned. Yeah, I
just didn't think that it was going to be physically
make it appear and there. I thought it was going
to be like all his assets have been transferred to you,
and here is like a bill of or a receipt.
She's the Princess Posse. The makeup was from the Donut Holes.
Oh yeah, that was in that last like at the
end of the book, before this last book. It would
be legally licensed since the Krawl owns the rights to her,
but it's not something she approved of Okay, so she
calls it unlicensed, but that's not true. It's just she
doesn't want it to be. Jeff says, this area really
gives Fallout four vibes. I could see that. I've never
played it, but I had two husbands who have played it,
so I'm passingly familiar. Serpa says, no, we got a
gun from his dad's place. The throwing stars had an
enchantment that increased the amount of damage they do every
time one hits the same enemy. Oh wow, that's weird.
Okay uh. Jeff says, I just realized that since Carl
got these throwing stars, maybe there will be a bit
where he melts them down to make bullets to kill
an unkillable monster with Werewolf's old silver makes good bullets.
Possibly maybe. Seraphim says, I think they got a deep
fryer from the Zombie Turkey Boss fight. Yes, and he
got a print out of all of the recipes from
that Grandma's like recipe page on Facebook. Saraphim says, it's
no different than Donut using her claws. I don't know
what that was in reference to sorry, Seraphim, always ask
yourself what is the most dickishly funny way they can
do anything. Oh regarding giving him all his stuff, Yeah, true, Yeah,
I really like, I'm really interested in going through all
of that and seeing what weird shit is in there,
because it's uh the fact that the AI says there
might be some useful stuff. I believe that there definitely is.
But useful you know, of course you're mentally you immediately
are just like, oh, weapons or something or something that
can be turned into a weapon. But it might not
be like that at all. Who knows, uh, Saraphim says.
The woman tore using her wolverine clawing to grab the beer. Oh,
it's no different than doughnut using her claws. But doesn't
she doesn't it shoot out of her hand like al Don,
It's shooting from her wrist, So I assumed that she
had regular hands. Rapture's arm shot forward. A lance of
metal appeared shooting from her wrist, a harpoon bowl attached
by a thin, gleaming cable, and then it retracts. She
raised the ruined aluminum can to her nose and sniffed it.
So does she not have a hand? I thought she
had hands, and that was just like one of the
things that was an attached weapon somehow. I'm trying to
see the moment where they stand up. If that's mentioned
arms shoved into their boots, that would explain their strange
gait they paused standing in the same place. The two
women abruptly to their full height, which backs are cracking
when they stand up, which I do think is also funny.
They did have a second set of hands like the
male versions. Why they'd walk around with boots on their
lower hands was beyond me, So yeah, they do have
regular hands, So yeah, I feel like that's not all
the same thing. You could just reach over or step
over and grab it and try to use a fucking harpoon.
Is unnecessary to say the least, just feels a little excessive.
It's obviously trying to intimidate, you know, but it's just look,
perhaps it works for some people. Maybe it is intimidating,
it would be startling, but I don't feel like I
would be intimidated so much as just like what she do?
Like that like exactly how I am now, you know,
just going like for why what was that? And I'm
just surprised that they are able to actually like utilize
a weapon like that it would fire at all, because
I guess the thing is in safe rooms you are
allowed to try and attack somebody. It's not that you
can't make a move, it is simply that as soon
as you do, you are stopped and frozen. So I
guess what I'm surprised by is that she was not
stopped and frozen when she tried to when she used
it to grab a beer. Can you know? Yeah? Anyway,
Sarah Fem says, so any team you don't want to
see it taken out so far? I mean, obviously, the
bug Bears, I feel it. We have gotten to know
them pretty well. I would like them to stick around.
The weird Unicorn mouse duo is so strange. I definitely
want them to stick around, real weird energy. These woman
tours are just so. They're also strange, but it's just
a real goofy energy that I'm like, I could probably
do without this. The Fox Lady and her Ninja friends,
I've got to be honest, I don't find very interesting,
and I forgot about them until I did a mental
inventory of whether I had left anybody out. So I
don't dislike her, but if they were to be killed,
I don't think I would feel much of a way
about it. I think anybody exploding is probably going to
be pretty awful. Like, there's just I'm there's nobody that
if they explode, I'm going to be like happy about it.
Probably probably, I don't know, maybe I'll change my tune.
But uh, the guys that I like, and the guys
that are the weirdest and the meanest and the clickiest,
I really like them. I just like the fact that
they're sort of like giving Dona a run for her
money when it comes to being caddy loll. They're like
caddier than the cat, So definitely want them to stick around.
I'm also really curious what the village is going to
look like because the whole way that this is described
is a lot less Skyrim, you know, like Jeff mentioned
Fallout four, So is the village going to feel real suburban? Also,
is it going to feel almost cartoonish? Is there going
to be I'm just really interested in the esthetic and
how everything is going to function there because also everything
is sort of hitting the fan, So the AI wants
everybody to just focus on the game and act like
everything is normal, because everything is normal, and fock you
for saying orthor wise or whatever. But uh, I have
to assume that there are going to be some weird
things beginning to occur. And I'm still very preoccupied with
that white spray painting, y'all. I don't know what it is,
but I just feel like that's so specific and that
has to mean something, and I'm missing it and I can't.
I can't imagine. Maybe it is just like a joke
that we won't understand until later. All right, Well, I'm
gonna wrap. I'm under time, but I go over so
much I think it evens out. So I am really
looking forward to reading this next session though, fourteen through nineteen,
So I hope that you guys are enjoying the coverage.
Going to be sad when this is over, but it
is going to be kind of fun to be able
to dive into spoiler areas once I'm done, because I'm
caught up with everybody. So oh boy, all right, everybody,
until next time to the Loo, motherfuckers. That was an
Unspoiled Network Podcast two