WEBVTT 1 00:00:04.799 --> 00:00:09.279 Hi, I'm your host, Doctor Lorie, and welcome to Universally Unique, 2 00:00:09.480 --> 00:00:13.880 Exploring the neurodiverse world of the extraordinary. This podcast foster's 3 00:00:13.919 --> 00:00:20.160 curiosity and understanding about neurodiversity while empowering individuals with tools 4 00:00:20.160 --> 00:00:24.879 for acceptance and inclusion in classrooms, the workplace, and communities. 5 00:00:25.239 --> 00:00:29.679 Featuring shared stories of neurodiverse life experiences, it sheds light 6 00:00:29.839 --> 00:00:34.240 on navigating the world not designed for diversity. Universally Unique 7 00:00:34.399 --> 00:00:43.119 starts now. Hi, I'm doctor Lorie. My guest today is Mary. 8 00:00:43.159 --> 00:00:43.560 Slowly. 9 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:48.280 Mary is going to share her journey with her adult son. 10 00:00:49.520 --> 00:00:54.119 After we take three box breaths. When we do the 11 00:00:54.159 --> 00:00:57.560 box breaths, I will count to us. We'll take three 12 00:00:57.600 --> 00:01:00.119 breaths in. Excuse me, We'll take four breaths in and 13 00:01:00.600 --> 00:01:05.439 we'll hold for four. Well, exhale for four, we'll hold 14 00:01:05.480 --> 00:01:07.480 for four. We'll take another breath and we'll do three 15 00:01:07.719 --> 00:01:12.840 three rounds of that. So, starting now, breathe in two 16 00:01:13.519 --> 00:01:23.680 three four, hold two three four, breathe out two three four, 17 00:01:24.400 --> 00:01:33.480 hold two three four. Breathe in two three four, hold 18 00:01:34.079 --> 00:01:43.480 two three four. Breathe out two three four, hold two 19 00:01:44.079 --> 00:01:54.439 three four. Breathe in two three four, hold two three four, 20 00:01:54.840 --> 00:02:03.000 breathe out two three four, hold two three four, and 21 00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:08.199 finished with a nice sigh three brass. 22 00:02:08.240 --> 00:02:08.680 That's all. 23 00:02:08.960 --> 00:02:11.080 That's that should be all it takes to kind of 24 00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:17.479 get your nervous system reset. So just a little information 25 00:02:17.919 --> 00:02:21.479 about Mary. Part of Mary's story made sound a little 26 00:02:21.520 --> 00:02:24.439 familiar to some of you who have listened to the 27 00:02:24.479 --> 00:02:30.400 previous podcast, because I interviewed Mary's daughter Kelly Hall in 28 00:02:30.439 --> 00:02:34.080 our last episode, and she does actually mention her brother, 29 00:02:34.280 --> 00:02:37.000 and I suspect that Mary may mentioned her grandson just 30 00:02:37.039 --> 00:02:41.759 a little bit. So everyone, somehow is all intertwined. For 31 00:02:41.800 --> 00:02:44.120 those of you who have been listening to the podcast 32 00:02:44.599 --> 00:02:46.680 for a while, you have probably figured out that every 33 00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:49.080 person that I have brought on is somehow connected to 34 00:02:49.120 --> 00:02:53.319 me in some way or connected to someone that I 35 00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:56.400 that I know. So, Mary, why don't you tell us 36 00:02:56.439 --> 00:03:01.800 a bit about the journey that you've been on with Travis, 37 00:03:01.840 --> 00:03:05.840 Like when you noticed that things were not going quite 38 00:03:05.879 --> 00:03:10.120 as expected. He's what the third of your children, correct, 39 00:03:10.639 --> 00:03:13.680 So you had a couple of children that were developing 40 00:03:13.719 --> 00:03:19.000 as expected, So you may have spotted things a little 41 00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:21.039 faster than if he had been here first born. But 42 00:03:21.479 --> 00:03:23.759 so tell us a bit about him okay. 43 00:03:23.800 --> 00:03:24.039 Well. 44 00:03:24.840 --> 00:03:27.240 At the time Travis was born, we lived in rural 45 00:03:27.520 --> 00:03:32.599 South Dakota, and again I had two children. Previous one 46 00:03:32.639 --> 00:03:35.120 was termed the next one was Kelly. As a matter 47 00:03:35.120 --> 00:03:37.439 of fact, that she was about four to five weeks 48 00:03:37.479 --> 00:03:41.400 early and only weighed four pounds. Everything with her seemed 49 00:03:41.439 --> 00:03:41.960 to be okay. 50 00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:42.879 She was just little. 51 00:03:43.039 --> 00:03:46.000 But Travis was a whole different story. He was born 52 00:03:46.039 --> 00:03:50.719 at twenty six weeks gestation and I was air ambulanced 53 00:03:50.840 --> 00:03:55.240 to the University of Minnesota Hospital in Minneapolis for him, 54 00:03:55.759 --> 00:03:57.840 where they did get labor stopped. 55 00:03:57.840 --> 00:03:59.680 However, I developed a. 56 00:03:59.599 --> 00:04:03.439 Fever and then they had to allow Travis to be 57 00:04:03.520 --> 00:04:07.639 born and he was born naturally and consequently suffered a 58 00:04:07.680 --> 00:04:10.319 brain bleed at the time, So right from the get 59 00:04:10.319 --> 00:04:11.879 go we knew this was not going to be your 60 00:04:11.919 --> 00:04:14.000 typical pregnancy and development. 61 00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:15.599 He was three. 62 00:04:15.400 --> 00:04:18.800 Months early, and he actually got out of the hospital 63 00:04:18.839 --> 00:04:23.759 on his due date, but he progressed slowly, and we 64 00:04:23.759 --> 00:04:27.240 were told that we could have a very seriously involved 65 00:04:28.279 --> 00:04:32.279 young man with all kinds of things, being wheelchair bound 66 00:04:32.720 --> 00:04:35.519 and all kinds of scary stuff that we weren't sure of. 67 00:04:35.720 --> 00:04:39.279 So as we brought him home, he was very small, 68 00:04:39.319 --> 00:04:43.759 but he came home at five pounds, and with an older. 69 00:04:43.480 --> 00:04:46.600 Travis is huge now, so it's hard to imagine him 70 00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:47.600 at five pounds. 71 00:04:47.879 --> 00:04:50.560 Yes, very hard to image him being that teeny tiny 72 00:04:51.079 --> 00:04:53.360 For those of you who can't visualize what at one 73 00:04:53.399 --> 00:04:55.120 pound fourteen ounce baby looks like. 74 00:04:55.319 --> 00:04:56.920 He fit on an eight and a half by eleven 75 00:04:56.920 --> 00:04:58.800 piece of paper. He fit on that. 76 00:05:00.160 --> 00:05:03.519 So anyway, I tried to do a lot of reading 77 00:05:03.560 --> 00:05:06.000 about what was expected with him. We knew that it 78 00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:08.000 would take a while for him to catch up. He 79 00:05:08.079 --> 00:05:11.120 had Kelly above, and then a year about approximate a 80 00:05:11.240 --> 00:05:14.399 year later, I had another baby, and he actually, even 81 00:05:14.439 --> 00:05:16.839 though he was a year younger, kind of developed at 82 00:05:16.839 --> 00:05:19.920 the same time on the same pattern as as his 83 00:05:20.040 --> 00:05:23.839 younger sister, Christie, and so it was easy to compare. 84 00:05:24.600 --> 00:05:27.000 He walked at about two when she walked at one. 85 00:05:27.639 --> 00:05:31.160 So some of the milestones that we had to look 86 00:05:31.199 --> 00:05:35.800 for we also had to develop as a baby. I 87 00:05:35.839 --> 00:05:40.920 had to put him through patterns of movement that brought 88 00:05:40.920 --> 00:05:43.279 the hands to the midline, you know, crunched him up, 89 00:05:43.600 --> 00:05:46.680 rolled him side to side I used to, and then 90 00:05:46.680 --> 00:05:50.079 once he got close to being able to walk, we 91 00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:52.959 noticed that he had that stretch reflex and he would 92 00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:55.639 always fall backwards and land, you know, flat on his back. 93 00:05:55.720 --> 00:05:58.759 So every time Travis had diaper change, we would take 94 00:05:58.839 --> 00:06:01.040 him and sit him down and stand him up and 95 00:06:01.079 --> 00:06:03.120 sit him down so that you know, would get him 96 00:06:03.120 --> 00:06:04.800 off balance and then sit him down so that he 97 00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:07.720 would learn to sit. And once he had mastered that, 98 00:06:07.879 --> 00:06:11.839 which he did, Travis walked And it was similar with 99 00:06:12.199 --> 00:06:14.759 all other kinds of milestones, like riding a bike. He 100 00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:17.000 was determined to ride a bike, but balance is not 101 00:06:17.079 --> 00:06:20.399 one of his strong suits because he was diagnosed with 102 00:06:20.439 --> 00:06:24.079 spastic diplegia. So he could walk, he could he walked 103 00:06:24.079 --> 00:06:25.680 on his toes. We had to get you know, the 104 00:06:25.720 --> 00:06:27.519 AFOs and all that kind of stuff. But he was 105 00:06:27.519 --> 00:06:29.600 determined to ride a bike. So put him on a 106 00:06:29.600 --> 00:06:31.120 bike and he learned how to ride a bike going 107 00:06:31.160 --> 00:06:33.519 down a hill in one of our yards where there 108 00:06:33.560 --> 00:06:36.639 was grass. But he kept up until he was determined 109 00:06:36.759 --> 00:06:38.759 to learn how to ride a bicycle, and he did. 110 00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:42.600 And right now as an adult, he has an e 111 00:06:42.680 --> 00:06:46.519 bike which he can ride or HiT's motorized and he 112 00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:49.680 can get to work on it. So because of his 113 00:06:49.720 --> 00:06:51.680 disabilities and you know, all the things he had going 114 00:06:51.759 --> 00:06:54.160 wrong with him. We never assumed that he wasn't going 115 00:06:54.160 --> 00:06:57.160 to be able to do anything. We worked on trying 116 00:06:57.199 --> 00:06:59.720 to help him do the things he needed to do. 117 00:07:00.920 --> 00:07:03.600 To that end, when we were in South Dakota, doctor Odo, 118 00:07:03.639 --> 00:07:08.800 it was hard to get the kind of interventions and 119 00:07:08.959 --> 00:07:13.720 cooperation among all of his speech therapists, occupational therapists, physical therapist, 120 00:07:13.759 --> 00:07:19.000 and doctor. His doctor first put him on Riddlin because 121 00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:21.079 he was so hyperactive. He was all over the place 122 00:07:21.639 --> 00:07:26.199 and that made him anxious and fearful. So they took 123 00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:30.160 him off that, and although Travis did not exhibit seizures, 124 00:07:30.160 --> 00:07:33.120 he was put on the medicine Integratol was what they 125 00:07:33.160 --> 00:07:36.879 found worked and that allowed him to settle in and 126 00:07:37.959 --> 00:07:41.879 improve on some other areas. But because he was disjointed, 127 00:07:42.040 --> 00:07:45.680 we had him admitted to Cripple Children's Hospital and School 128 00:07:46.319 --> 00:07:47.199 in Sioux Falls. 129 00:07:47.839 --> 00:07:48.160 Okay. 130 00:07:48.639 --> 00:07:50.959 It's the hardest thing I ever had to do, is 131 00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:54.439 to take my four year old little guy and put 132 00:07:54.519 --> 00:07:58.199 him in that facility and leave him there. And I 133 00:07:58.240 --> 00:08:00.439 could not visit him for three months. And I remember 134 00:08:00.480 --> 00:08:03.600 sitting in the parking lot looking and it's my heart 135 00:08:03.639 --> 00:08:06.319 coming out of my chest. Oh my god, Yeah, I 136 00:08:06.480 --> 00:08:08.839 can't see him for three weeks. He going to understand 137 00:08:08.879 --> 00:08:10.800 where's mom? You know, because he followed me around. When 138 00:08:10.800 --> 00:08:12.439 I stopped walking, he used to bump into. 139 00:08:12.279 --> 00:08:15.560 Me, so it's very hard to do that. 140 00:08:15.759 --> 00:08:18.399 But the one thing that did come out of that 141 00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:22.839 that was a benefit was that there was a coordinated effort. 142 00:08:23.079 --> 00:08:25.000 I think he had a team of twenty five people 143 00:08:26.519 --> 00:08:30.240 him from you know, start to finish, and they were 144 00:08:30.279 --> 00:08:33.639 able to find out how Travis learned, you know, what 145 00:08:33.759 --> 00:08:35.440 was going to make him be able to learn things. 146 00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:39.799 And they had a behavioral psychiatrist come from Minneapolis to 147 00:08:39.879 --> 00:08:42.720 watch him, and it was determined that was a lot 148 00:08:42.759 --> 00:08:44.799 of time before we knew all about Asberger's and all 149 00:08:44.799 --> 00:08:45.480 these other. 150 00:08:45.279 --> 00:08:47.120 Things, which I think got a little of that going 151 00:08:47.159 --> 00:08:47.440 on too. 152 00:08:47.519 --> 00:08:52.440 Yeah, definitely that Travis did not learn from observation and 153 00:08:52.480 --> 00:08:55.480 seeing other things. He could not read other people's emotions. 154 00:08:55.679 --> 00:09:00.080 He could not gauge, you know, their level of irritation 155 00:09:00.279 --> 00:09:03.399 or anything else. And he said that we had to 156 00:09:03.440 --> 00:09:06.519 teach Travis behavior in this situation. 157 00:09:06.679 --> 00:09:07.480 This is what you do. 158 00:09:07.799 --> 00:09:10.080 These are the kinds of questions you could ask, you know, 159 00:09:10.519 --> 00:09:13.759 And that helped him navigate a little bit more so 160 00:09:13.799 --> 00:09:16.960 that he became a questions guy, and that's all he 161 00:09:17.000 --> 00:09:19.039 wanted to do was ask people questions. And he would 162 00:09:19.039 --> 00:09:21.759 perseverate on things that he knew the answer to, but 163 00:09:21.840 --> 00:09:24.039 wanted just to hear people say, what happens if I 164 00:09:24.039 --> 00:09:26.759 put my finger in the lights? You know the lights? 165 00:09:26.919 --> 00:09:28.879 He knew what would happen. What happened if I put 166 00:09:28.879 --> 00:09:30.720 my finger in the fan. He liked to see that 167 00:09:30.799 --> 00:09:31.480 big reaction. 168 00:09:32.200 --> 00:09:34.240 But you know, that's the way he learned. 169 00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:37.519 So he was only there from June of one year 170 00:09:37.759 --> 00:09:40.200 to like May of the next, and then we moved 171 00:09:40.240 --> 00:09:43.639 to Connecticut, but we had the foundation for him to 172 00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:49.080 enter kindergarten and get the services and the kind of approaches. 173 00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:49.279 That he needed. 174 00:09:49.440 --> 00:09:53.399 So that was, you know, from then on our mantra 175 00:09:53.879 --> 00:09:57.960 with four kids then and then now five was Travis 176 00:09:57.960 --> 00:10:01.200 had very special needs, but that didn't entitle him to 177 00:10:01.240 --> 00:10:05.080 special privileges. We made sure that he was treated just 178 00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:07.080 like any other child. He had things that he needed 179 00:10:07.080 --> 00:10:10.320 to do around the house. He my husband had him out. 180 00:10:10.159 --> 00:10:10.600 In the yard. 181 00:10:10.960 --> 00:10:13.720 Travis knows how to write, you know, a zero turn lawnmower. 182 00:10:14.039 --> 00:10:17.000 He knows how to operate a log splitter. You know, 183 00:10:17.240 --> 00:10:19.240 he can do all kinds of things and help and 184 00:10:19.320 --> 00:10:22.360 understand how to carry and move things, you know, just 185 00:10:22.399 --> 00:10:25.360 because you're special needs, you know, which is the term 186 00:10:25.399 --> 00:10:29.039 at the time, he didn't get excused from things. 187 00:10:29.080 --> 00:10:30.480 You know, he still had to pick up his stuff, 188 00:10:30.480 --> 00:10:31.519 put his stuff in the laundry. 189 00:10:31.519 --> 00:10:34.440 He knows how to do laundry. And now because of that, 190 00:10:34.600 --> 00:10:37.039 not putting him in a box and restricting what he 191 00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:40.759 was able to do, Travis lives independently. He has a 192 00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:44.799 job where he's you know, works almost full time, and 193 00:10:44.879 --> 00:10:47.519 he has he gets himself to working back either by 194 00:10:47.519 --> 00:10:51.039 writing public transportation or his e bike and from it. 195 00:10:51.080 --> 00:10:53.159 When we brought him home being told that we might 196 00:10:53.200 --> 00:10:57.200 have a wheelchair bound child that wasn't going to be 197 00:10:57.240 --> 00:10:59.480 able to do anything and require twenty four to seven care, 198 00:11:01.080 --> 00:11:03.039 you know, it's amazing. And by the way, he did 199 00:11:03.080 --> 00:11:05.679 potty trade. By the time he was three and a half, 200 00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:06.879 he was potty trade. 201 00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:09.279 So what can I say? 202 00:11:09.720 --> 00:11:14.080 Yeah, no, and I mean he is independent by all 203 00:11:14.200 --> 00:11:19.720 definitions of the word he is. I think probably part 204 00:11:19.799 --> 00:11:23.519 of the reason why he was so successful and why 205 00:11:23.600 --> 00:11:25.720 he was so persistent with things like learning how to 206 00:11:25.799 --> 00:11:28.799 ride the bike is he is also potentially one of 207 00:11:28.840 --> 00:11:31.840 the most stubborn individuals I've ever met. I mean, I 208 00:11:31.879 --> 00:11:35.679 adore him, but if he has his mindset on something, 209 00:11:36.480 --> 00:11:41.080 it's very difficult to convince him that what he thinks 210 00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:45.960 or what he wants is not the best option. You know, 211 00:11:46.080 --> 00:11:48.679 if he decides that he's you know, I don't know, 212 00:11:48.759 --> 00:11:52.639 I want to buy this item, and somebody says, well, 213 00:11:52.639 --> 00:11:55.320 you know, maybe that item isn't really the best thing 214 00:11:55.519 --> 00:11:58.039 for you, he's still going to buy it. 215 00:11:59.679 --> 00:12:00.000 Yeah. 216 00:12:00.080 --> 00:12:03.120 He saves his money, you know, a little bit, not much. 217 00:12:04.039 --> 00:12:06.240 He tries to manage his budget. That's one of his 218 00:12:06.279 --> 00:12:09.679 biggest challenges is math and you know, numbers, and again, 219 00:12:09.919 --> 00:12:13.320 like you say, those he sees the latest gidget gadget, 220 00:12:13.519 --> 00:12:16.240 have that? Or one of his siblings gets the latest 221 00:12:16.240 --> 00:12:18.399 gidget gadget, he thinks he's got to have it too 222 00:12:18.799 --> 00:12:20.840 because they got a w why can't I have it? 223 00:12:20.960 --> 00:12:24.480 And yeah, that's that can be a problem. We had 224 00:12:24.519 --> 00:12:26.600 a I won't say a tough time, but it was 225 00:12:27.039 --> 00:12:31.519 eventually a successful argument about putting his bike away in 226 00:12:31.519 --> 00:12:34.799 the winter and not being able to ride it and 227 00:12:34.960 --> 00:12:37.519 using public transportation all the time, and even has workers 228 00:12:37.519 --> 00:12:39.200 that will come get him in snowstorms so that he 229 00:12:39.240 --> 00:12:40.720 doesn't have to try to get to the bus because 230 00:12:40.799 --> 00:12:43.679 again his balance isn't the best walking on ice. But 231 00:12:44.120 --> 00:12:45.960 that was that was a struggle for a while because 232 00:12:45.960 --> 00:12:47.360 he thought, you know, he doesn't want us to take 233 00:12:47.360 --> 00:12:50.840 his independence away. However, you know, getting him to understand 234 00:12:50.960 --> 00:12:53.519 that this is not about independence, it's about safety. And 235 00:12:53.559 --> 00:12:55.159 I think we've got that. 236 00:12:55.840 --> 00:13:00.960 No, it's I have noticed that bike has spent away 237 00:13:01.360 --> 00:13:05.919 until the weather gets gets I think the other challenge 238 00:13:05.960 --> 00:13:09.519 sometimes is he does not have good vision. It's that 239 00:13:09.559 --> 00:13:13.039 the left it's the left eye that's really bad. So 240 00:13:13.200 --> 00:13:16.240 sometimes when I see him driving around on his bike, 241 00:13:16.360 --> 00:13:19.759 I'm also holding my breath because I don't know how 242 00:13:19.840 --> 00:13:24.600 much he's seeing on his left hand side. And he's 243 00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:27.000 very good about wearing a vest, so he wears his 244 00:13:27.360 --> 00:13:31.240 bright vest so people, you know, don't miss him. But 245 00:13:31.559 --> 00:13:36.000 sometimes I'm like, wow that, I think that was a 246 00:13:36.080 --> 00:13:37.279 dangerous maneuver there. 247 00:13:37.679 --> 00:13:40.759 Yes, And we feel I feel the same way. I 248 00:13:40.759 --> 00:13:42.440 know he's on his bike. I'll call him on you know, 249 00:13:42.519 --> 00:13:44.799 weather days, and the other day when he had all 250 00:13:44.799 --> 00:13:46.519 those the rain storms earlier this. 251 00:13:46.399 --> 00:13:47.679 Week he used the bus. 252 00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:51.480 But you know, I guess in some ways it's similar 253 00:13:51.480 --> 00:13:55.200 to how we feel when our our you know, diverse 254 00:13:55.440 --> 00:13:58.720 not neurodiverse kids are driving all over the place, you know, 255 00:13:58.879 --> 00:14:03.639 we worry. And you know, he's changed his route. He 256 00:14:03.799 --> 00:14:07.919 was going through more of the busy traffic patterns to 257 00:14:07.919 --> 00:14:10.000 go to you know, a back road now to get 258 00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:12.799 to work, which I encouraged him to do because I 259 00:14:12.840 --> 00:14:14.559 wasn't happy with him going through some of those big 260 00:14:14.600 --> 00:14:17.320 intersections down by the shopping areas. 261 00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:21.120 So that is what it is. It's a worry. 262 00:14:21.480 --> 00:14:23.960 He has had one accident with it, but it was 263 00:14:24.000 --> 00:14:27.240 not his fault. Somebody opened a door and he went 264 00:14:27.279 --> 00:14:30.320 slamming into it. The person did not see him, and 265 00:14:30.360 --> 00:14:32.960 as a result, he did learn a lesson. It can 266 00:14:33.039 --> 00:14:35.120 happen that quick, Travis, and it doesn't have to be 267 00:14:35.600 --> 00:14:36.320 something you did. 268 00:14:36.360 --> 00:14:38.240 Look, this is what it is about driving, and this 269 00:14:38.320 --> 00:14:39.039 is why we worry. 270 00:14:39.120 --> 00:14:44.559 So yeah, unfortunately he was not seriously seriously injured. You know, 271 00:14:44.759 --> 00:14:49.799 he is the model of When I was a master's student, 272 00:14:49.960 --> 00:14:54.120 like a thousand years ago, one of the articles that 273 00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:56.799 we read was an article that was on the dignity 274 00:14:56.840 --> 00:14:58.679 of risk and I can't remember whether that was the 275 00:14:58.720 --> 00:15:01.080 exact title or not. I don't rememb who the author was, 276 00:15:01.480 --> 00:15:07.039 but the whole idea was that individuals who had disabilities 277 00:15:07.679 --> 00:15:11.600 needed to have opportunities to take certain risks in order 278 00:15:11.639 --> 00:15:15.200 to become as independent as possible. That might be, you know, 279 00:15:15.360 --> 00:15:20.919 cutting something with a sharp knife, or running a log splitter, 280 00:15:21.159 --> 00:15:25.639 or riding a bike. And if you don't allow folks 281 00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:31.440 the opportunity whether if it's appropriate for them to engage 282 00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:33.240 in those things, then they don't live up to their 283 00:15:33.279 --> 00:15:36.360 full potential. And I think the approach that you and 284 00:15:36.399 --> 00:15:40.519 your family took was that he was given chances and 285 00:15:40.639 --> 00:15:43.960 opportunities to try out some stuff that I'm sure lots 286 00:15:44.000 --> 00:15:45.600 of folks are holding their breath the first time you 287 00:15:45.720 --> 00:15:47.840 ran that log splitter. I'm holding my breath and I 288 00:15:47.879 --> 00:15:51.639 didn't even see the log splitter. And I'm sure he's 289 00:15:51.639 --> 00:15:54.919 phenomenal at it, and I know he's phenomenal at his job. 290 00:15:55.120 --> 00:15:57.600 And the kind of work that he does also comes 291 00:15:57.639 --> 00:15:59.320 with a certain amount of danger if you're not paying 292 00:15:59.320 --> 00:16:02.799 attention to what you're doing. But one of the good 293 00:16:02.840 --> 00:16:06.240 things about him is that when he's decided that he's 294 00:16:06.279 --> 00:16:10.039 bought into whatever the approach is, he will follow it 295 00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:13.519 to the exact level that you asked him to do. 296 00:16:13.559 --> 00:16:13.679 It. 297 00:16:13.679 --> 00:16:16.120 So if there's five steps and these are the five 298 00:16:16.159 --> 00:16:18.480 steps to run this machine at work, he will do 299 00:16:18.519 --> 00:16:20.960 those five steps. And if he sees somebody not doing 300 00:16:21.000 --> 00:16:24.200 those five steps and doing something unsafe, he is very 301 00:16:24.240 --> 00:16:26.399 in tune with that was a really bad idea and 302 00:16:26.919 --> 00:16:30.879 potentially rather vocal about it. I think as well, he 303 00:16:30.919 --> 00:16:32.039 should be the safety guy. 304 00:16:33.080 --> 00:16:33.480 He could be. 305 00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:36.720 You know that the risk taking is something that There 306 00:16:36.720 --> 00:16:39.039 are other areas that happened with him. 307 00:16:39.399 --> 00:16:41.039 One of them was in high school. 308 00:16:41.679 --> 00:16:44.120 There's some sports of course he couldn't do, but he 309 00:16:44.159 --> 00:16:48.080 did do cross country and track, and that was something 310 00:16:48.120 --> 00:16:50.799 he was able to run the full races, you know 311 00:16:50.879 --> 00:16:55.240 that he entered into and his first race in cross country, 312 00:16:55.279 --> 00:16:57.360 he took off so fast and because he's you know, 313 00:16:57.679 --> 00:17:00.960 he's top heavy, his little spindly legs wouldn't carry him. 314 00:17:00.960 --> 00:17:04.319 He fell flat in his face and I was like, oh, 315 00:17:04.640 --> 00:17:07.680 Travis got up and he went and he finished. So 316 00:17:07.960 --> 00:17:09.359 you know, he that was a that was a. 317 00:17:09.400 --> 00:17:12.400 Risk for him, but he did it all three years, sophomore, junior, 318 00:17:12.440 --> 00:17:16.359 senior year. And then the other thing was is then 319 00:17:16.400 --> 00:17:18.960 when he's his first independent living in a group type 320 00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:22.640 of situation with a roommate, there were people taking supervising, 321 00:17:22.759 --> 00:17:25.400 Oh you can't, you can't cook, Travis, you can't know. 322 00:17:25.640 --> 00:17:27.440 We don't want you using the stove. And he's like, well, 323 00:17:28.119 --> 00:17:29.119 I can use the stove. 324 00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:29.519 You know. 325 00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:31.440 He knew how to make mac and cheese. He knew 326 00:17:31.440 --> 00:17:33.240 how to fry himself an egg, make a grilled cheese. 327 00:17:33.519 --> 00:17:35.319 You know, he was a Paul that he they would 328 00:17:35.400 --> 00:17:36.759 weren't going to let him cook. 329 00:17:38.759 --> 00:17:40.640 So you know, there's there's stuff you know, yeah, you 330 00:17:40.720 --> 00:17:42.839 might burn yourself, you know, you just make sure you don't, 331 00:17:42.920 --> 00:17:44.079 you know, burn up the kitchen. 332 00:17:44.119 --> 00:17:46.000 But he never got close to anything like that. 333 00:17:46.599 --> 00:17:48.119 But again, those are the risks that you have to 334 00:17:48.160 --> 00:17:50.000 let him take in some ways so that they can 335 00:17:50.440 --> 00:17:50.920 they can. 336 00:17:50.799 --> 00:17:55.759 Be and and he and he has thrived with those 337 00:17:55.799 --> 00:17:59.240 things and he is he is. He's kind of built 338 00:17:59.279 --> 00:18:02.519 a bit like a try angle. That's part is definitely 339 00:18:02.559 --> 00:18:05.039 a lot. And he's got the he doesn't have those 340 00:18:05.279 --> 00:18:09.160 skinny little legs which he which he uses, I believe 341 00:18:09.240 --> 00:18:14.160 to his best advantage because he's a special olympian and 342 00:18:14.200 --> 00:18:16.200 he does powerlifting. 343 00:18:16.839 --> 00:18:17.279 He does. 344 00:18:18.880 --> 00:18:22.200 I was sure that that was it maybe the category. 345 00:18:22.599 --> 00:18:24.839 And he does the discuss. 346 00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:26.720 Well, he used he does the shot put. 347 00:18:27.160 --> 00:18:31.640 He just shot put. Okay, ye shot So he you know, 348 00:18:31.720 --> 00:18:34.720 he uses all of that upper body strength to his 349 00:18:35.319 --> 00:18:37.799 to his advantage. And he's very proud of himself when 350 00:18:38.440 --> 00:18:41.640 when he's gone to to the games and and come 351 00:18:41.720 --> 00:18:45.480 back with with metals, which he usually does. I believe 352 00:18:45.559 --> 00:18:51.359 he usually clears the field there, but he does. Yeah, 353 00:18:51.400 --> 00:18:56.920 he's he's he's quite the quite the athlete. So, h 354 00:18:57.559 --> 00:19:00.400 You've shared quite a few things and and I'm kind 355 00:19:00.440 --> 00:19:03.000 of anticipating maybe what your answer is, but I'm going 356 00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:06.599 to ask you, what are you most proud of that 357 00:19:06.640 --> 00:19:09.640 he's that he's done, or that he has maybe the 358 00:19:09.640 --> 00:19:11.039 potential to be doing in the future. 359 00:19:12.240 --> 00:19:15.839 I think my husband and I talked about it. 360 00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:19.240 I think we're proud of the things that he's able 361 00:19:19.279 --> 00:19:20.079 to do independently. 362 00:19:20.119 --> 00:19:22.839 But the fact that this kid from where we, like 363 00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:24.880 I said, where he started. 364 00:19:25.599 --> 00:19:29.799 Lives independently, can take care of himself, and can hold 365 00:19:29.799 --> 00:19:33.599 down a job. That's very proud of the fact that 366 00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:35.759 he's able to do that. I mean, he's able to 367 00:19:36.440 --> 00:19:39.799 do all of those things. And I think of had 368 00:19:39.839 --> 00:19:42.519 we done things differently or tried to be too protective 369 00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:45.279 or like you say that not giving him the chance 370 00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:49.240 to try things that you know, could be a little whatever, 371 00:19:50.519 --> 00:19:52.720 that he's able to do those things. And he's a 372 00:19:52.720 --> 00:19:55.559 productive member of society. I mean, you know, he really is, 373 00:19:55.640 --> 00:19:59.559 and I think that's we're pretty proud of the accomplished 374 00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:02.160 you know, in that area. But he's he's been a 375 00:20:02.160 --> 00:20:03.839 big part of that, you know, because like you said, 376 00:20:03.839 --> 00:20:07.680 that attitude that I want to do that, you know, 377 00:20:07.880 --> 00:20:11.720 I'm going to that you know here. You know, he's 378 00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:15.279 he does need he does get some supervision in terms of, 379 00:20:15.319 --> 00:20:17.599 you know, like making sure he can get to his 380 00:20:17.640 --> 00:20:20.160 groceries and this and that, but he doesn't want anybody 381 00:20:20.200 --> 00:20:21.880 around all the time, even at work. He's got a 382 00:20:21.960 --> 00:20:24.480 job coach, and he really objects. He doesn't want to 383 00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:26.599 feel different. He doesn't want to stand out that way. 384 00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:29.759 He wants to just be Travis and not have somebody 385 00:20:30.519 --> 00:20:32.960 watching them all the time, you know. And we've you know, 386 00:20:33.000 --> 00:20:36.240 scaled back a little bit on the job coach, but 387 00:20:36.279 --> 00:20:38.480 he would just soon not have one because he doesn't 388 00:20:38.519 --> 00:20:42.519 know he needs one. But I told, you know, I'm 389 00:20:42.599 --> 00:20:46.119 just very grateful to the company for hiring him in 390 00:20:46.119 --> 00:20:48.799 the first place. And I think they found out that 391 00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:52.160 that wasn't a bad decision, especially when he they kept 392 00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:53.880 had to tell him to take breaks because he was 393 00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:55.240 just going to work the whole day and not even 394 00:20:55.240 --> 00:20:57.400 take one, maybe not even he. 395 00:20:57.400 --> 00:21:01.359 Was just going to go yeah, and he I mean, 396 00:21:01.359 --> 00:21:09.359 he works competitively. He is an employee of this factory, 397 00:21:09.920 --> 00:21:11.960 and he just he has somebody checking on him just 398 00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:15.359 a little bit. And I think there's been some changes. 399 00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:17.799 And I think that the person who's checking in on 400 00:21:17.880 --> 00:21:19.680 him is somebody that he's known for a long time, 401 00:21:19.759 --> 00:21:22.000