Speaker 1: Previously on oops All Bards, andrak and Clarice, having defeated
the mimic masquerading as a dining table in the first
class dining car, enter the kitchen and find an unconscious
person in a porter's uniform, hogtied with the words bad
guy written on his forehead. Worry that this imposter porter
might rouse soon, Andrew hits him over the head with
the butt of a sword, ensuring that the porter will
remain unconscious. Bell and Keilonian have emerged into the coach
dining car and begin to talk to the passengers. They
help a man with a mild coffee burn on his lap,
and then Clarice and Andrik join them, intending to and
in some cases interrogating others in the car. Clarice interviews
a confused group of kenku as Kelonian works to earn
the trust of all of the passengers present. Bell turns
her attention to a group of merchants who may or
may not be smuggling illegal Oligarchy era artifacts across the country. Eventually,
Clarice joins the interrogation, but ultimately realizes that the merchants,
while opportunistic, are not part of the malvo conspiracy. Meanwhile,
Critasio and Gideon are growing impatient. In the first class car,
they have a heart to heart in which Gideon explains
that Critasio can always return to singing, but he's needed
now as a fighter. And then the pair scoops up
Angel the chicken and leaves to find the rest of
their party. In the kitchen, they get distracted by the
smell of brownies baking in the oven, and Critasio learns
the hard way that molten sugar can do quite a
bit of damage going down. But it's not like he's
going to sing anytime soon.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: You wanted monsters all slain by their betters, but you
ain't seen nothing like arts and letters. Look who has
answered the cry of distress? Oops, it's all bards. Oh
what a mess. You think we're a joke, But in
truth we're all in. We fight like we learned it
in books, because we did. We all survived college with charisma. Impressive. Oops,
it's all bards, and yes it's excessive. If you're still confused,
we'll explain to you. Thus, there's nobody left, So that's
why they call us. We'll fight or we'll otherwise role
for successes. Oops, it's All Bards. We hope that addresses
all that you have to know to enjoy listening to
our all Bard party sent off on a mission.
Speaker 4: How'll it goes?
Speaker 1: Well, We're sure you can guess.
Speaker 4: Oops, it's all bars.
Speaker 5: Oh, Andre Harrol.
Speaker 6: Hold, you're a Bell Tsunamio flatwe Hot.
Speaker 7: Colonial Stumps, Saluver College.
Speaker 8: Clari sour Cloud's Palmage Hall.
Speaker 9: Cretaceo thunder Thigh Sluver College.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Oops All Bards, the actual play podcast that
does what it says on the box. I'm your host
and game master, Jillian Ashley Blair IVY. But if you
call me anything other than Jill, please rest assured that yes,
I am registered to vote Bards. Please introduce yourselves.
Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Tatesen Hadas and I play Critasio thunder Thigh.
Speaker 1: Hi.
Speaker 8: I'm Anne Coleman and I play Clarice sour Cloud.
Speaker 6: Hello Ashley Banks playing Bell Scenamio.
Speaker 5: Hi, I'm Ross Curry and I play Andrik Harrowhold.
Speaker 7: This is Bob Kellyan, I play Keonian Stumps, and I'm
Nate Runkle aka nay I, producer of this show and
serial abuser of Generative AI.
Speaker 1: So before we get started, let's review. It happened in
episode eight. At the start of the episode, the party
was split Clarice and Andrik and Bell and Keilonian had
paired off, leaving Critaesia with Gideon Andreck and Clarice. You
were a few cars behind Bell and Keilonian, having just
killed the mimic, but not without Clarice taking quite a
bit of damage. After that, you and the kitchen car,
where you saw that the porter Bell hog tied unconscious,
had the words bad guy written on his forehead. You
rated the kitchen and found some magical grapes that healed
Clarise a bit, and Andrik you conked the porter over
the head just to make sure he'd stay down for
good measure. Bell and Keilonian, you had made it to
the coach dining car and you were trying to assess
whether anyone in it had injuries from when the train stopped,
but you only wound up helping an elderly half elf
who may have been a bit of an exhibitionist I
some mild burns on his lap. Keilonian, you addressed all
the passengers about the porter situation, and you rolled high
enough on your persuasion that you seemed to get everybody
on your side. Clarice and Andrik joined Bell and Keylonian
and Clarice talked to you a few Kenku who only
seemed to speak in song lyrics, for which I remained
very sorry. Bell wounded up talking to a trio of
merchants who seemed kind of suss. But after talking to
them for a while and bringing Clarie in to interrogate
them further, you realized they were acting weird because they
were smuggling some collectibles of questionable taste from the Malvaux Era,
not because they had anything to do with the Malvaux
plot or whatever else was happening on the train. And
then we finally got back to Critasio. I'm sorry Tash,
who was still in the first class dining car taking
care of Uncle Gideon. The two of you had a
little heart to heart conversation where Gideon kind of nagged
you about your fighting skills before reminding you that many
great artists had first gone to war. Eventually, the two
of you got restless and you set out to find others,
but not without grabbing a snack in the kitchen car,
which is how Critasio you were reminded that you probably
shouldn't eat big good straight out of the oven, and
you wound up taking a little damage from eating a
too hot brownie. Gideon in the meanwhile, waited for the
brownie to cool and actually got some healing from it.
After snack time, there was nothing left to do for
you but rejoin your friends. Okay, the party is fainally
back together. So you see the table of the three
merchants that are kind of huddled together having a conversation.
You see the elderly half elf sitting there with his
pants halfway down and some ice on his lap. You
see the two ken ku who are having a conversation
by singing song lyrics to each other in the voices
of the original artists. And you see the rest of
your party.
Speaker 4: All right, I'm just gonna lumber over to them, a
what's going on?
Speaker 9: We saw a guy tied up with bad guy written
on his forehead, which I mean, thank you for the
heads up, and a mimic without a tongue.
Speaker 4: All right, so first question, where's the rest of the tongue?
Speaker 8: Lari's points to the floor.
Speaker 9: Okay, you know, I don't know what I was expecting,
but so are we keeping it or do we want
to throw it out the window or in the trash?
Speaker 4: Like, I'm sorry, why is there a tongue on the floor?
Speaker 8: Laris just looks at Bell like you want you want
to keep it?
Speaker 6: No, it's gonna start stop twitching at some point or another.
Speaker 10: Also, it's gonna get slime all over my stuff, So yeah,
trash can Well.
Speaker 4: I am pretty hungry and I do eat a lot
of raw meat. I don't know it's a mimic tongue though,
I mean it's not. It's not an animal.
Speaker 9: All right, you know, I'm gonna keep the mimic tongue.
We'll wash it and maybe save it for later.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, all right, a add a mimic tongue to
your inventory and I will figure out exactly what that
means later.
Speaker 4: Uh yeah, What's what's been going on here? Guys? Do
we learn anything about the about the fake porters?
Speaker 1: So far?
Speaker 6: We know that they are really really bad at pretending
to do their jobs.
Speaker 5: Perhaps we should finish our sweep and make sure the
rest of the train is secure.
Speaker 7: Sounds like a good plan walking down the train.
Speaker 4: All right, So noney, you've learned anything, All right, let's.
Speaker 1: Go all right, everybody assuming you're moving on to the
next car. Everybody's going to rule your acrobatics check.
Speaker 6: Twenty six.
Speaker 11: Uh, Kilonian rolled a six.
Speaker 1: All right, Kilonian is going to take me remind myself
of damage one D four plus two thunder damage and
everybody else is pasted.
Speaker 6: Jill, just for the record, Yes, I have a plus
ten to acrobatics.
Speaker 1: Then yeah, then you basically just don't want because it's
a DC ten too.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's it occurred to me that that's how math works.
Speaker 1: Yes, cool, all right, Kiloonion. How hurd are you?
Speaker 11: Oh, I'm fine, Okay. How many points nineteen out of
thirty three? Oh it was a three total.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're still.
Speaker 11: Kilonian is very he's very happy to see Angel.
Speaker 7: Yes, oh, Angel, glad to see you're doing well.
Speaker 11: Let's stick together for the next leg.
Speaker 1: Of this this little trip, and Angel is going to
kind of once you get into the next car, do
a little hop up off of Cretatio's shoulder and onto yours.
And then do you want Angel to stay on your
shoulder or do you want Angel to go? Do you
have the portable hatch still attached to you or was
that still in the car?
Speaker 11: No, I would say that's still in the car.
Speaker 1: So now Angel is just going to ride on your
shoulder or the top of your head, or wherever else
you feel like you would like her to be.
Speaker 11: Cool.
Speaker 12: Oopsol boards will return after these brief messages.
Speaker 1: You have now entered one of two coach cars. There
are scattered passengers. Even though there were there were a
lot of people at the train station, not all of
the people you saw at the train station were getting
on board the this particular car. So there are also
plenty of empty seats, but you see you see about
ten people in this car. Feel free to poke around,
talk to people, roll any checks that you need to see,
if there's any information that you want to see, or
if there's anything in particular that you're looking at. I
will tell you that in the coach cars there are
like the open racks for luggage above the seats, so
you can also take a look and see if there's
anything in those luggage racks that you feel like investigating.
Speaker 5: Yeah, how from the sudden stop, how do the passengers
in this car seem to be in terms of like
genial crack their heads? Anyone dazed? Are they fine? What's
the general?
Speaker 1: Maybe I will tell you without rolling any check that
when you come in you hear a few children crying,
and that you see some adults who again seem pretty dazed.
In terms of visible damage, you see an elderly teefling
who looks pretty banged up, but it's hard to tell
as you're walking into the car whether that is damaged
from the train or whether that is damaged from life.
Speaker 6: That's so real.
Speaker 5: So what you're saying, is there about forty.
Speaker 1: I said elderly teeflings are not elderly at forty.
Speaker 5: And has any of the lug is does the luggage
seem to be like where it is or has any
like fallen down or people like putting it back in place?
Speaker 1: Nothing has fallen down, but it's because there's there's a
rail that would kind of keep things from tumbling over.
But it's not closed like an overhead bin in an airplane.
It's more like the guardrail, like when you're on an
Amtrak train that kind of you have to hoist things
up over and it keeps things from sliding out, unless
unless the train truly derailed, things are probably not going
to move. But it does seem like everything is kind
of crowded all of the bags are kind of crowded
towards the front, so they're not necessarily over the seats
that of the of the people that own those belongings.
Speaker 5: I'm going to go to the elderly teeth fling. How
are you? I know that was a sudden jolt. You
do you need some assistance? Should I fetch a porter
for you?
Speaker 1: Hello? Ahi?
Speaker 5: Ah Hi, I'm gonna hold up three fingers. How many
fingers am I holding up?
Speaker 13: Ah?
Speaker 1: Next to the elderly tiefling, there is a goblin who
is dressed as a nurse. And the goblin is just
going to say to you.
Speaker 13: He doesn't really understand much anymore these days.
Speaker 5: Is Is he hurt from the stopped?
Speaker 8: It's hard to tell.
Speaker 5: Are you okay?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 1: I'm I'm fine.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we're moving again. I just want to assure you
I think it's fine. Perhaps, Uh does your your charge
here need a sandwich? Anything?
Speaker 1: To Alexis is his name?
Speaker 13: Alexei's the cherished He's he's we have our bag of snacks.
Speaker 1: Most of his food is in liquid for him these days.
Speaker 13: He's I mean, he banged his head on the seat
in front of him when the train stopped, but Honestly,
it's so hard to tell what actually hurts him these days.
Speaker 5: What's the vibe of the nurse.
Speaker 1: Very like surprisingly chill. It will me an insight check.
Speaker 4: Actually, also she said he was the cherished?
Speaker 1: Is that Alexi's the cherished? Was the tee flings?
Speaker 4: The cherish?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Tee flings often like they don't have first name, last name.
They have like a name and a signifier or a title.
Speaker 5: Okay, that's that's a twenty one. It was an eighteen
on the diaplus three.
Speaker 1: The goblin caretaker nurse person has probably been indulging in
some of Malexi's medicines, but.
Speaker 5: Having picked up nothing nefarious. And this guy isn't as
good a shape as he's going to be. I'm going
to keep moving on and surveying the rest of the
car and pasticums.
Speaker 1: All right, is there anybody else that you are looking for?
Does anybody?
Speaker 14: Kilonian is gonna say, all right, everybody, I gave this
speel in the last car, I'm going to give it
to you.
Speaker 11: You give it to you.
Speaker 14: Folks here, listen, we have a little bit of a
hiccup here. We got some folks who are impostors on
this train.
Speaker 11: But not to worry.
Speaker 7: We're on the case.
Speaker 14: We're gonna figure it out. We're gonna make sure things
are rolling along safely on this old train here, and
I'm gonna roll a.
Speaker 11: Persuasion check to see you. Yep, oh much, I've persuaded them.
Speaker 6: Oh.
Speaker 7: By the way, the porters are not so great right now.
Speaker 11: Some of them are impostors, we think.
Speaker 14: And so if a porter comes up and asks you
to do something or wants you to go somewhere, just
say no, keep away from him. Don't trust them at
this point until we know more.
Speaker 11: And I rolled in nine.
Speaker 1: With your nine.
Speaker 11: The whole car goes into a panic.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of there's a lot of hubbub, a
lot of a lot of murmuring. And you see a
dwarven man stand up on his ead and who are you?
Who are you that you're giving us this advice?
Speaker 8: Laris is gonna bring in her cop voice, which listeners
at home is a convenient resolution to the fact that
I have a cult. Right now, friend, we are the
security detail for a certain high level government official on
the train.
Speaker 1: The dwarf is going to like lean out to see
if if he can see Gideon, who is now on
the car with you and like, what's he doing here?
Speaker 8: Well, that is classifying and your curiosity makes you an
immediate person of interest. So I recommend you sit yourself down,
sir and wait, questioning if you would like to remain
above suspicion.
Speaker 1: It makes me suspicious to just be wondering what everybody
what's going on? Who are you folks?
Speaker 8: I don't think you heard me. Sit down.
Speaker 15: Belle's going to intervene, and she's going to be like, okay, okay,
everybody needs to just I think, take a deep breath
together in Halle.
Speaker 8: And exl Larise is going to roll in intimidation Jack
during that inhill, yes, said out Haillaris.
Speaker 1: Rolls an intimidation check at the same time Bell rolls
a performance check amazing.
Speaker 8: Twenty one. Okay, Claris only rolled a ten.
Speaker 6: So in next Holley lay.
Speaker 1: The dwarf, who had you know, pulled himself up to
his full height, which is not that much than Clarice,
glares at you and then he looks at Bell, takes
a deep breath, sits down, and as he sits you
can see that he's there with presumably his wife and
two children.
Speaker 8: How far away is clarice from this dwarf.
Speaker 1: Did you approach him when he stood up and started
asking questions?
Speaker 8: No, I stayed at whatever distance I was upon entering
the train car.
Speaker 1: Okay, so in that case you probably wouldn't see the kids.
You would probably see that there is somebody who's also
writing with him, another adult dwarf.
Speaker 8: I'm just gonna prepare to say something derisive like you
should be ashamed of him when I walk by.
Speaker 1: Okay, So everybody is still confused and a little upset
after Kilodeon failed to just inspire confidence. But Ashley has
at least got everybody to take a deep breath and
calm down. Or Bell Bell has taken has gotten everybody
to take a deep breath and come down.
Speaker 11: Oh thanks Bell.
Speaker 6: A literal angel walks among us.
Speaker 9: Speaking of witch, have any of you guys seen a porter,
you know, one of the fake porters heading to the
back of the trade or like ever, have any of
you guys seen a porter, trained staff conductor, anyone who's
supposed to work here.
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, did you say fake porter out loud? Just
quick question?
Speaker 16: Yeah we didn't, didn't Kilonian already say that the porters
were imposters? Yes, yeah, okay, yes we are inciting mass panic.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think when you but when you ask that question,
like the tension rises again.
Speaker 4: What we're looking at me? Weird?
Speaker 6: I am fighting a losing battle.
Speaker 1: Do you want to like walk down the car anybody?
And I can tell you who else you're seeing.
Speaker 10: I think Belle is going to walk down the car
and then just like go to each group and be
like in hell and exhale, like a flight attendant walking
people through a panic attack.
Speaker 8: Ok yes, basically, and while Belle is doing that, Clarice
is just doing an perception check to see if anybody
looks like they are off duty military personnel.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, as you're walking Clarie and bell are
walking down the train aisle. Now you will notice that
the the dwarf who's there with his wife, they are
also there with two children.
Speaker 8: Having seen the children, I will not layer down any
kind of insult.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 10: I do think Belle was occasionally like touching people's hands,
like like like you know, you see like a saint,
like just walking my people, bless you, bless would you
like me to kiss your baby?
Speaker 2: People are like, don't touch my baby?
Speaker 4: What's wrong with who are you.
Speaker 1: Also on the train, you see a young dragon born
mother with her two babies who are screaming. So you
I mentioned when you first entered onto this car you
could hear some children in distress. It was it was
these two babies.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go over.
Speaker 2: To the dragon born and just go like, hey, little buddies,
everything's okay. Then just lean in and give them a
big toothy smiles.
Speaker 1: So they're they're dragon born and your lizard folks, so
you are you have you have some reptilian appearances traits
in common, but you are not the same species. And
the babies are going to see your teeth like they
calm down a little bit as you are approached, and
then they see you smile with a big teeth.
Speaker 9: Go I'm gonna slowly back away there. Hey look, I mean,
I'm just trying to be nice.
Speaker 4: All right.
Speaker 1: The dragonborn mother is going to give you like a
look that shoots daggers because she like finally just started
to get the babies to calm down, and now they're
they're at eleven.
Speaker 6: Also the fact that he was like, I'm just trying
to be nice to some babies.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, this was directed at the babies, not to
the mom to the children.
Speaker 4: I'm like, hey, I'm just trying to be your friend.
Come on, why don't you understand this?
Speaker 1: Also on the train, you knew you notice a a
halfling carrying a loot, and then you are also going
to see all the way at the far end, so
towards the back of this car, you're going to see
a small goblin child and an elderly goblin woman. So
that's who's on this car.
Speaker 16: Okay, did anyone say anything about when we asked, has
anyone seen train staff or the porter?
Speaker 4: Is there anyone?
Speaker 1: I think everybody was so distressed by by Keilonian's failure
to inspire them that nobody has really answered much of anything.
There's just panic.
Speaker 6: Relatable.
Speaker 9: Uh yeah, I don't think we're getting anywhere with these folks.
Speaker 4: Why don't we just why don't we just keep going?
Speaker 2: Guys?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think Bell is going to.
Speaker 10: Deep breaths inex hal everybody down the car and then
when you get seen, and she'll just.
Speaker 6: Joll.
Speaker 10: Given that Bell is just so adept at moving between
the train cars, can she offer how to anybody else
crossing in theory.
Speaker 1: Yes, However, as you reach for the door. The door
actually flies open, and you see somebody who is dressed
as a porter coming toward you.
Speaker 6: Oh, okay, how quickly are they coming toward me?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 1: If you had been any closer to the door, it
would have smacked you in the face.
Speaker 6: Great.
Speaker 10: Can I please step to the side and put out
my arm to like, what's the clothes line?
Speaker 1: And yeah, So I'm going to have you roll this
with disadvantage because this is like an instinctive reaction to
you as this woman dresses a porter or possibly real
porter is flying, not literally, just moving very quickly through
that door and up the aisle. Okay, so you can roll.
It'll be a We'll just do a strength check for
you to see if you're arms stops her. Will We'll
call it in a post rang check, okay, to see
if your arm stops or if she just kind of
blows past your arm and keeps going.
Speaker 6: Okay, Okay, Well, the first role was a two, and
I have a plus one.
Speaker 10: So I think we can safely say I can't, I can,
I can creit failfish if you want no, that's.
Speaker 1: All right, that's all right. We'll say that I mean,
and I will I will tell you that she only
rolled five, So this is this is one of those
situations where just the all of the action was happening
so quickly that everybody's flailing. I will also say that
the rest of the party is probably still standing right
in the aisle. So at some point, Yeah, I do
think I smacked I just whacked her in the face. Yeah,
like I don't. I think that you probably kind of
like back of your hand against her sternum as she's
walking back, and she doesn't even flinch.
Speaker 6: That's fair.
Speaker 7: Yeah, oopsil bods will return after these brief messages.
Speaker 1: So what does everybody else do when they see this
woman moving very quickly up the aisle.
Speaker 8: As soon as Clarice sees a porter seeming person, she
casts true Strike. To identify the defenses.
Speaker 1: At work, I will tell you that there are no
magical defenses here. This is this person has pretty good
I mean basically above table, you're looking at a rogue,
So there are no there are no magical defenses. The
person is not wearing any armor. It is just somebody
who is going to potentially be able to outmove you
or outstab you. But they've they've blown their ability to
sneak attack anything because the way they're moving.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and at this point we're on at least I
am on porter high alert, so drawing my sword out
and holding it forward, not actually attacking, but I am
ready to go. Yeah, where are you going so fast?
Speaker 1: I was paged by the engineer.
Speaker 5: Worry not, things are quite fine up there.
Speaker 1: But they paged me.
Speaker 13: They told me to come.
Speaker 5: Funny, I didn't hear an announcement over the intercom.
Speaker 1: Oh we have we have our own.
Speaker 13: There's the intercom that broadcasts to the whole train, and
then they are the intercoms that just broadcast to the
staff in between the trains.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I assure you that everything is quite fine. We're
back moving. How about ten to the passengers?
Speaker 1: Sorry, Bob, were you was Kilo and going.
Speaker 14: To I was just gonna say, I'd like to roll
an insight check to see if I think that this
person's telling the truth.
Speaker 1: Rule it.
Speaker 11: Non natural twenty nice?
Speaker 1: Nice? Okay, First of all, she is certainly telling the
truth about the existence of there being two intercom systems.
One is private, one is for the entire train.
Speaker 6: Yes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she is not, however, telling the truth about being
summoned to the engine. She knows she clearly knows enough
about the train and how it works to be able
to pass as a porter, or perhaps she even truly
is a porter, but she has not been summoned anywhere.
Speaker 14: Now, remember everyone, when I said before that you shouldn't
listen to the porters. This is an example of a
porter trying to deceive us.
Speaker 6: Thank you for demonstrating exactly.
Speaker 1: What I mean.
Speaker 2: And she please return to your seats and put the
tray tables in the upright position.
Speaker 1: She's I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just
doing my job.
Speaker 4: How long have you been at this job?
Speaker 13: Oh, I've been a porter on various trains across Udwa
for five years.
Speaker 5: Now check.
Speaker 8: While you're doing that inside check, Clarice is gonna just
full on attempt to grapple the leg reporter. And while
attempting that, just say who you serve?
Speaker 1: All right, let's get let's get andres inside check first
and then I'm dying you know how that.
Speaker 5: That's just a twelve.
Speaker 1: With a twelve. She seems like as I and as
I said to Kilonia, and it does seem like she
actually knows her way around the train. She might really
be a porter, like she might be telling the truth
about working on trains for the last five.
Speaker 5: Working on trains.
Speaker 1: Okay it yeah, all right, And we're gonna do your
athletics against her athletics or acrobatics, and I'm checking her stats. Yeah,
it's gonna be against her athletics.
Speaker 8: Also, I do have advantage on this, and I have
had to use it. Yes, but ten is my better role.
Speaker 1: She rules at thirteen, So she's just gonna kind of
like shake you off of her leg, if you'll excuse me.
Speaker 13: I really have to get to the engine to see
what the engineers are looking for.
Speaker 4: Are your your cobooker? Higgins has it covered?
Speaker 6: Higgins?
Speaker 2: Yeah? The porter Higgins, Hey Higgins, Higgins.
Speaker 1: Oh okay.
Speaker 13: I kind of get the feeling that they wanted me specifically,
though they actually said.
Speaker 1: My name, who do you serve? She looks down at you.
Speaker 2: Just like.
Speaker 13: A little bit of train corporation.
Speaker 1: Else, that's it.
Speaker 14: Listen, why don't you why don't are there some is
that like an empty seat row? So with no yeah,
with no one nearby, Keilonian' is gonna say, oh, why.
Speaker 11: Don't you take a seat down here?
Speaker 14: We've had an issue with many porters attacking us here
on this train, and so we're gonna have to ask
you to have a seat over here and just keep
to yourself for a little while.
Speaker 1: I'm afraid I'm much too busy to have a seat.
Speaker 13: I've got to go.
Speaker 1: And she just kind of tries to squeeze past all
of you in the I'm gonna body block her, yeah.
Speaker 8: Please, And and Clarice is gonna be like porters on
this train are actually working, all right.
Speaker 10: So Bell having tried and failed to close line her,
I feel like it's probably behind her, whereas the rest
of her can Bell just like grab something heavy and knock.
Speaker 6: Her over the head.
Speaker 1: Well, okay, so first we've got Cretatio tried to try
to bodyblock her. So Cretasio rolled me an intimidation check.
Speaker 10: I'm going to make the argument to Cretatio, being freaking
massive should maybe have advantage.
Speaker 1: I think that that's fair.
Speaker 6: She is trying to get past a total.
Speaker 4: And a te rex.
Speaker 2: Yes, I rolled it too, but I have a plus
nine for intimidation.
Speaker 1: So did you roll with advantage?
Speaker 4: Okay, that's an at and plus nine, which is twenty.
Speaker 1: So as Cretatio stands up to his full height, and
the porter also notices the Hobgoblin standing behind him with
sword drawn, and begins to realize that while the turtle
that she was seeing not been that particularly intimidating in
his words, is at least a rather large fellow. She
spins around and she sees Belle standing there. Belle is
holding something over her head, seemingly ready to strike. Belle,
what do you do in this moment?
Speaker 6: So Belle, I think while all this was going on,
was like picking up that we weren't getting anywhere, and
she was gonna stick with her story.
Speaker 10: So she was like, all right, well, knocking out the
other guy worked so and so I think she looked
around and she like found like a piece of luggage
that seemed pretty heavy, like probably like you know, your
like suitcase kind of glugget, and just sort of lifted
it up over her head and was just gonna like
whack her with it and is caught, uh in the
moment of like peak zenith reach of the luggage, and
it's just gonna kind of.
Speaker 17: Be like, m really working on my upper body strength
while like lowering it over her head and raising it
again and being like it's important on these long.
Speaker 6: Trips to hang on.
Speaker 1: I don't know what before this voice is.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 10: It's important on these long trips to like make sure
that you keep physically active so you don't get a
blood clot, right, So.
Speaker 6: You wanna you want to try?
Speaker 13: I don't think so.
Speaker 1: And she's going to look, oh see my shoe is untied.
Take get down on one knee, and as she does,
we are going to real for initiative because when she
comes back up, you see that she's holding a dadder
cool pool.
Speaker 12: Oopsul boards will return after these brief messages.
Speaker 1: All right, we're rolling for initiative. Belle, what did you
roll nineteen?
Speaker 8: Clarice twenty six?
Speaker 1: Oh boy, Keilonian nineteen, also nineteen. Let's have a roll
off between you and Belle?
Speaker 6: Oh okay, well I rolled a five plus five, so
I think that one's.
Speaker 11: Going to go to Keilowen seventeen.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I'm gonna put bell at eighteen andrikour oh boy,
and crittio.
Speaker 2: That is a crip fail.
Speaker 4: Baby.
Speaker 1: You don't have a you don't have a modifier on
your initiative.
Speaker 4: I yeah, I have a plus three.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you and Andrik now need to roll off.
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, should I just lose that since I had
the crit.
Speaker 1: Sure, yes, we'll just put We'll just put you next.
Speaker 5: Oh but I did two because I wrote.
Speaker 1: Oh you both rolled natural ones. Okay, all right, I
did just.
Speaker 5: Yeah, where was this role? I just rolled a natural
twenty on my roll eighteen. All right, we're go second
to last.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I need to roll for Gideon, all right,
And Gideon rolls a seventeen, which ties him with the Porter.
So we're going to do a roll off between Gideon
and the Porter, and the Porter goes first. All right,
So we are in initiative.
Speaker 13: The Porter is brandishing a knife and clarice, it is
your turn.
Speaker 8: Laris is going to cast suggestion, okay, and I'd like
the Porter to attempt a wisdom saving thrill.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's a sixth.
Speaker 8: They have failed, so I'm going to suggest a course
of activity to the Okay, and uh, the Porter, just
to clarify, is not immune to being charmed.
Speaker 18: No, right, So, having failed the safe, the Porter is
going to pursue the course of action I described to
the best of its ability, as long as I'm not
uh get telling it to you know, self immolate or something.
Speaker 8: And so my suggestive course of action is you should
lead us to the back car right now?
Speaker 4: What is the.
Speaker 1: Like I understood the description. If you'd like, yes, please.
Speaker 8: I suggest a course of activity limited to a sentence
or two and magically influence a creature I can see
within range that can here and understand me. Creatures that
can't be charped are immune to this effect. The suggestion
must be worded in such a manner as to make
the course of action itself sound reasonable. In other words,
asking the creature to stab itself, throw itself onto a spear,
immolate itself, or do something other obviously harmful act would
end the spell. The target must make a wisdom saving throw.
On a failed save, it pursues the course of action
I describe to the best of its ability. The suggested
course of action can continue for the entire duration, which
is up to eight hours. If the suggested activity can
be completed in a shorter time, the spell will end
when the subject finishes what it was asked to do.
I can also specify conditions that will trigger special activity
during that duration. But if I or any of my
onions damage the target, the stell would add, Okay, so
I have cast that, and I'm gonna say that the quorter,
you should lead us to the back car so that
none of these people get hurt, and everybody will hear
me say.
Speaker 1: That, and Okay, so the porter is going to just
look at Bell with like her head cocked because Belle
is currently standing between her and the door, so the
porter can't lead you anywhere unless Belle wants to move.
Speaker 8: And it's a free action, so I'm hoping Bell hurt.
Speaker 6: Belle's gonna just sort of get some done with my
workout and put the luggage back in the luggage over
head thing and slide.
Speaker 2: To the left.
Speaker 1: Okay, the porter is going. Yeah, so the porter is
going to open the door to the next car, and
everybody he's going to have to roll their acrobatics check,
which the porter fails. So the porter is going to
take six damage and everybody else, well, Bell, Bell, we've
established can automatically pass because of Bell's really high acrobatic score. Bell,
are you going to help anybody come across?
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, I've already rolled and I'm fine. I had
eleven plus three, so I'm good.
Speaker 10: I'm gonna help you on Ian because I did witness
him hurt himself last time.
Speaker 14: Okay, so I also rolled already and it was at thirteen,
but I didn't want to say it in the case.
Speaker 1: Okay, since all right, well you can. You can still
roll and see if you roll higher.
Speaker 11: Okay, I did seventeen.
Speaker 1: Okay, so not a not a natural twenty slightly higher,
but you just it's like the easiest passage that you've had.
Angel's very proud of you. She just kind of like
nuzzles into your neck a little bit.
Speaker 7: Thanks Angel, Thanks for the thanks for the assist.
Speaker 1: Bo great hey time Clarice.
Speaker 8: Asked with flying colors.
Speaker 1: Okay and Cretasia.
Speaker 4: Yet another crit fail.
Speaker 1: Oh boy? All right, one D four person one D
four plus two damage and I've bought. Let's got a
rule for Gideon.
Speaker 4: Be a total of three damage.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you can track that damage. Gideon passes only
by nature of having a very high acrobatics modifier, because
Gideon ruled well below a ten. But you are all
in the second coach car. This is the ninth car
of this ten car train. Do you have this porter
who is just walking straight up the aisle. I will
tell you if anybody wants to roll any sort of
check right now, you can do that as a free action.
As you're following the porter along the aisle, is what's
the general uh lay?
Speaker 5: Or like, how many people are in here? What's the
what can we very obviously see.
Speaker 1: There are a few more people in this car than
there were in the previous car, but it's still not full.
And you're seeing the same just like general era of
confusion and befuttlement at like the train stopping, there being
no announcement the train starting again. Some people seem like
maybe they whack their heads. You see somebody like a
little little shiner going on, but nobody, nobody is seriously
hurt and or or seriously upset.
Speaker 5: Any sign of another porter.
Speaker 1: How far have you walked?
Speaker 5: I mean just as we first get into, as you first.
Speaker 1: Get in, now there is no sign of another porter.
Speaker 8: Theresa is again, I'm gonna look for any potential off
duty military personnel.
Speaker 1: Rolled me an investigation check. That was fun. Seems like civilians,
all right, So you're you all just follow the porter through.
As you are approaching the door to the freight car,
two more people dressed as porters who were sitting in
the two seats in the back but kind of like
up against the windows so they were and kind of
crouching down, so they were not visible as you first
entered the car and started walking, are going to stand
up and step shoulder to shoulder into.
Speaker 5: The aisle, So so blocking the porter who was escorting us.
Speaker 1: Blocking the porter who's escorting you.
Speaker 13: It's like I was just showing these nice people into
the cargo hold.
Speaker 1: And to the two porters. There's a man and a
woman standing shouldered shoulder. The uniform is a little a
little large on her and the man's uniform is a
little small on him.
Speaker 4: When no, did these porters just like God, just put
the uniform back.
Speaker 1: On the They were sitting on opposite sides of the aisle,
so if they were getting it on, it had been earlier,
not in that exact moment. It's possible. So so as
the porter who's leading you to the cargo holds, I'm
just trying to show these nice people to the cargo hold.
The male porter, presumed porter, is going to say, no,
I don't think that that's a very good idea. There
is restricted cargo back there, and the female porter next
to him just nods her head and goes mm hm.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 4: They definitely, they definitely nailed at that.
Speaker 5: Okay, I'm sorry that the engineers paged us and requested
that we make sure that there were no complications from
the unfortunate sudden stop.
Speaker 1: I didn't hear a page.
Speaker 5: It was a private page. There are two systems.
Speaker 1: I'm aware of the two systems on the train. I'm
standing right next to the staff one. I didn't hear
a page.
Speaker 5: No, no, no, it was a private page.
Speaker 1: There's no that. We have two systems. There's the system
the broadcast to the entire train, and there's the staff system.
I'm standing next to the staff intercom. I didn't hear anything.
Speaker 5: Oh, your previous time must have been on one of
the not updated deception check twenty one.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, maybe I hadn't heard about any upgrades to
this car, but okay.
Speaker 13: Still not really supposed to allow anybody back here.
Speaker 1: You're not porters.
Speaker 8: Laris is gonna try to in around the porter that
was leading us to get a little closer self check.
Okay seventeen.
Speaker 1: You managed to sneak around, so you're now basically between
the porter who you have suggested lead you into the
freight area of the train, and these two other porters
who are blocking the door.
Speaker 8: Uh, Clarice is gonna put on her good old voice.
Okay they yo, we can see that those are not
your uniforms. Move to the cargo hold, so none of
these innocent people get her.
Speaker 1: I'm afraid we can't do that. And those two porters
are also now going to brandish their daggers, so I
need to get them into initiative. All right. The only
person who's taken a turn so far as Clarice. So
this is this is where we're going to stand.
Speaker 8: And I just want to note for folks, the porter
number three is as long as nobody harms them, supposed
to still be trying.
Speaker 1: To get to the car. Yeah, but they're not supposed
to be like aggressively trying, right, They're just there.
Speaker 8: They want to follow the suggestion that is what they want.
If there is an opening for them to move past people,
they will do so, right, But.
Speaker 1: They're not going to turn. They're not going to turn violence.
Speaker 8: No, they're not going to No, nothing to risk their safety.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, So as the two porters draw their knives,
are there, as the two porters draw their daggers, you
know that you are also facing two additional hostile porters,
and it is porter the male porter or the male
presenting porter at least is not even aware that Clarice
is there, because Clarice was very, very stealthy, doesn't see
Clarice at his feet, sees behind Porter three that Belle
is standing there and is going to throw his dagger
at bell Rude. You're right there, babe, So that is
going to be sixteen to hit, doesn't hit, doesn't hit.
Speaker 6: No, my AC is seventeen, baby.
Speaker 13: Wow, you very high ac for a little dancer.
Speaker 6: It's because I'm hard to touch.
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, it's.
Speaker 4: Really more like evasions.
Speaker 1: You move so fast.
Speaker 6: It's okay with the College of Dance. I have un
armored defense. So it's my decks modified.
Speaker 1: Yes, got it all right. Well he's still got a
second dagger, and that is going to be eighteen to hit.
Speaker 6: Well, I guess he was prepared for me to move
this time.
Speaker 1: Yes, so that is going to now be one D
four plus three piercing down six points of damage. Oh
and now it is the other porter, the female Porter's turn. Belle,
when you were hit with a dagger, did you are
you still standing there or did you like step to
the side or anything.
Speaker 10: I mean, I think I've like sort of dodged a
little bit, but I didn't like step to the side.
Speaker 1: So you're still standing in the aisle. Yeah, okay, Porter,
this this fifth porter that you have met, the female
presenting porter who's wearing the uniform that is too big
with the name tag that says Axel, is going to
also throw a dagger at you. Great, yep, seventeen that
just hits. Okay, I hate this and that you're gonna
have to move soon, is what's going to happen. And
that is going to be to one D four plus
three so that is going to be five damage, okay.
And then second dagger thirteen does not hit. Nope, okay.
Oh did you add the.
Speaker 6: Proficiency bonus to the second dagger?
Speaker 1: Who not for the second one?
Speaker 6: Okay?
Speaker 1: No offhanded attack? Yeah yeah, so yeah, the second throw
for the first porter was just really high. Darn Yeah
it was. It was the eighteen so no, no, no,
it was the I was asking about the damage. Oh yeah, No,
I did not add for the damage. Wait did I
I did? Okay, So subtract three points from the damage
that you've taken and give yourself three points back. Fun
thing about actual play podcast, get to see some behind
the scenes where we try to refresh our memories of
the rules. Great and it is Kilonian's turn.
Speaker 14: Kilonian clears his throat and says, we are in danger,
and danger is dangerous.
Speaker 11: I will bless my friends.
Speaker 7: And okay he casts blessed with that Haiku.
Speaker 14: And everybody amazing, everybody, everybody in the party except Colonian
himself gets uh. Whenever you make an attack roll or
saving throw, you can roll a D four and add
that number.
Speaker 11: To the attack or saving throw. So I included Gideon
in that.
Speaker 8: Okay, I was just I was just gonna ask, yep,
is that a like one time us? Or is that
truly whenever we do it?
Speaker 14: It's it reads like whenever because it says whenever a
target makes saving.
Speaker 5: Quick quick rule thing. I believe it is a one
minute spell as long as he maintains.
Speaker 1: Contra Yes, right, any movement, no movement? Okay, bell, it
is your turn, all right.
Speaker 10: So I've been stabbed a few times now, Yeah, so
I would like to use my action to cast blade ward. Okay,
So I trace a sigil of warning in the air
until the end of my next turn. I have resistance
against bludgeoning, piercing and slashing, damage felt by weapon attacks.
Speaker 1: Okay, so that's that, and then you can move if
you need to.
Speaker 6: I could, but if I move, then other people are
gonna start getting stabbed.
Speaker 1: Right, And now that you've cast blade ward, you're safe
until the end of your next turn, right.
Speaker 6: So I think I'm gonna give Bartic inspiration.
Speaker 10: I'm gonna look over my shoulder at Quonian and be
like a little bit of stabbing.
Speaker 6: We've handled this before, we got this.
Speaker 7: Oh thank you, Bill.
Speaker 11: I feel very inspired.
Speaker 1: And that's that's it for me. That's one D six Yeah, yes, okay, great.
Speaker 12: Oops ol bods will be back right after these brief messages.
Speaker 1: It is the third porter's turn. She's the one who's
under suggest thanks to Clarice, and she's just.
Speaker 13: Going to go, guys, I just really need to let
these very nice people into the cargo hold.
Speaker 1: And that's her turn. And then we have Gideon. Gideon
is way in the back. Gideon can't do a whole
lot from where he's positioned, but Gideon can move a
whole lot. So Gideon, who as we've established, is always
itching for a fight, is going to dash up to
the front and he's going to notice that Clarisse is there,
so we're going to have Gideon and Clarise occupying the
same spot. So Gideon takes all of his movement. He
doesn't even need to dash. He manages to get all
the way up there, and he is going to try
to fight start a fight with the porters, and he's
going to first try an unarmed strike against Porter number four,
the man in the very tight uniform, and that is
going to be a crit fail. So that's Gideon's turn.
He I think, is so panicked about seeing Clarice so
close to danger that it was just a blind swing.
And actually we're at Andrik.
Speaker 5: Now just movement wise, like you know, because we're in
a narrow area, like yeah, then I actually get up
to the quarters four and five.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I mean it's those spaces are still five
feet Like you can occupy the same space as pretty much.
It might be a little hard to occupy the same
space as Kilonian unless he turned sideways. And it's a
little bit hard to occupy the same space as Critasio
because he's just huge.
Speaker 8: But you can.
Speaker 1: There's nobody seated on the aisle seat, so you can
kind of like gently sidestep briefly like take a foot
into the aisle seat and sneak around Cretasio as long
as Critasio is amenable to that.
Speaker 5: Sensing Cretatio's hesitation to join the fray, I would quickly
say too as I basically, uh do a quick like
put my foot up on one of the arm rests
on the seat to the right and kind of like
I'm gonna use that to kind of just like pivot
around Cretatio and turn it and say smile, what have
you to fear? Follow? And I'm gonna use my bonus
action I'm gonna do. Uh. This is basically they give
the help action to Critasio for whatever he's going to
do next, and I'm going to use the fay gift
of spite for you know, there's a hob goblin. There's
a hobgoblin train until the start of my next turn.
The first time Cretatio hits a target with an attack,
that target has the has disadvantage on its next attack roll.
Speaker 1: Is that just attacks against Critatia or is that.
Speaker 5: Nope, it has disadvantage on its next attack roll period.
Speaker 1: So is that again, which of the porters is that against?
Speaker 5: No? No, it's it's it's whomever it happens. It's whomever
Cretatio hits with an attack. Okay, we'll then have disadvantage
on their own attack role.
Speaker 1: Okay, does Cretasio have to hit them on the next
attack attempt or or can Critasio do something else? And
it might be two turns later.
Speaker 5: The next time Cretatio hits Okay, got it right.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, uh, thanks, Okay, So that's your bonus action.
Speaker 5: Movement, and I'm gonna get right up, you know, because
can I occupy I can't occupy the same space as
Porter three?
Speaker 1: Right, you can?
Speaker 5: I can? Okay?
Speaker 1: Porter three is a human. Porter three is not occupying
five feet of space by herself, okay.
Speaker 5: And Clarice is small enough that again, as I bounce
around Cretatio, run forward and just over Clarice. I'm just
taking a swing at quarter.
Speaker 1: Number four, okay, world hit.
Speaker 5: Oh that that's an easy hit eighteen plus. I don't
think it matters.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that hitsky.
Speaker 8: And then.
Speaker 5: So quarter number four is going to take four points
of slashing damage and needs to make a charisma saving.
Speaker 1: Throw charisma Okay, that is a twelve.
Speaker 5: No, the DC is thirteen on that. So, okay, quarter
number four is going to subtract a D four from
any attack roll or saving prow.
Speaker 1: And do they have to you Christmas check at every turn.
Speaker 5: It's until the end of my next turn, so that
it's not a rerull situation. It's just for one round
from now, Okay, my turn.
Speaker 19: All right, cretatio, you're up, All right, I don't I
want to do this because if I like barrel forward,
I'm just gonna knock.
Speaker 4: All of these people down.
Speaker 2: You really put the three smallest people directly in front
of me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, so you can. You can plan your action
and hold it, and then what you can do is
using talking as a free action, communicate to all of
them what your plan is, so that on their next turn,
perhaps they step out of the way.
Speaker 4: Okay, but that is up to you.
Speaker 1: You also might like you've got spells that you can
use too.
Speaker 16: Yeah, I'm gonna ready an action to just charge headfirst
towards the door. I mean, in a with the with
the idea of just like slamming into both of these porters,
and I'm just gonna.
Speaker 2: Say, all right, guys, move out of the way, and
then just like ready that for the next turn.
Speaker 1: Okay, just reim me a perform Roman's check to make
sure that they hear you. And we're going to say
that this rule is with advantage because you are very
loud and you are in a pretty enclos space. Yeah.
So it's up to Belle and Andrek and Clarice and
Gideon whether they want to listen to you.
Speaker 6: But but they definitely heard you.
Speaker 1: Definitely heard you. Okay, cool, all right, any movement that
you're taking any bonus action or you're just hanging out here.
Speaker 16: And waiting, No, I think I'll just stay there and
just kind of hunker down and get ready to charge
head first forward.
Speaker 4: Okay, the thunder thigh way.
Speaker 10: Anybody flashing back to toy story, use your head what
I'm thinking of?
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, Claris, it's your turn.
Speaker 8: Laris is uh feeling helped by the presence of Uncle Gideon.
Speaker 1: Okay, and so she's just.
Speaker 8: Gonna draw her rapier, Okay, attempt to poke the female porter.
Speaker 1: All right, So that is the porter whose name tag
says Axel.
Speaker 8: Rolled a hit and I have blessed on me, Yes
you do, so I can add a is it a
D six two cent or D.
Speaker 1: Four I think it thinks the d D four.
Speaker 2: That is.
Speaker 1: A fifteen to hit fifteen hits great.
Speaker 8: I am going to deal three damage plus because Gideon
is right next to me. I'm going to use my
sneak attack ability okay, which I can use ones per turn.
So I have dealt six damage with my rapier. Is
that in addition to the three or you're just it
is in addition? It's six six total, okay? And having
done that, I'm gonna tuck and roll uh to under
the seat that is on the opposite side of okogdions.
Speaker 1: Okay, So next up it is Porter number five's turn.
So Porter number five did not appreciate that. But you
have now tucked and rolled, and she is not able
to immediately retaliate against you. But Andrik is right there,
so Porter number five is just going to take is
going to step over to Andrik and is going to
try to slash at him with her dagger. That is
going to be thirteen to hit dust hits just hits,
all right, And that's one D four plus three for
piercing damage. How yes, and then she's got two weapon
fighting so that is going.
Speaker 6: To be.
Speaker 1: Fourteen to hit.
Speaker 5: Yeah, hits yeah, and.
Speaker 1: Another three points. Okay, okay, and then she's going to
actually take after slashing at you, take a step back.
So she's once again standing right next to quarter number four.
Speaker 5: Do I get an opportunity attack as she steps back?
Speaker 1: She's a rogue, so I don't think that you do.
Let me double not if she doesn't disengage. Yeah, she
can disengagengage, but she used her for the second, so
then yes, you get you get an opportunity attack.
Speaker 5: Let's go. No, that's seven ahead, that does not hit.
Speaker 1: All right, it is porter number four's turn, and Porter
number four is going to do the same thing. Just
step out, slash at andrik step back.
Speaker 5: Remember that quarter number four has to subtract a D
four from meritacles.
Speaker 1: So yes, Porter number four is going to step forward
and try to slash at you. And that is a
fifteen but minus four is a or minus four minus
a D.
Speaker 5: Four minus a D four roll a D four and
subtract ten.
Speaker 1: Well it's minus four, so that's an eleven miss. And
understanding that something is not quite right with his aim,
he is going to disengage and step back. So that
is Porter number four's turn. Now it is Keilonean's turn.
Speaker 14: So Keelonian is going to do two things. First, he's
going to use a bonus action. He's going to turn
to Angel and say, Chicken, youuma, Angel, You'm a good friend, Angel.
Speaker 7: Keep you safe if you in need, and cast sanctuary.
Speaker 14: And so any creature that tries to attack Angel will
have to make a wisdom saving throw or the attack.
If it fails, the attack will be directed on someone else.
And so that's one and then the other one is
just just want to check on the people who are
in this car, like what what is happening to? Are
they freaking out?
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, they're pretty in nerve by the fact that
there is like active fighting happening in the aisles here.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, I forgot there were passengers here.
Speaker 1: There are passengers here. There are more passengers in this
car than there were in the last car.
Speaker 11: Since I can also do a camp.
Speaker 14: With a bonus action, I'm going to press diggitate some
little fireworks in the air and.
Speaker 7: Say everyone please get under your seats to be safe.
Speaker 1: That so sanctuary was your action, and then this is
your bonus action. Is the cantrip the.
Speaker 14: Other way around, the bonus action is sanctuary and okay.
You can also cast a got it okay, a cantrip
as an action. So this is my action is to
press to digitate and say, everybody get under your seats
to keep safe, okay, And do you want me to
roll like a persuasion or anything like that. Yes, thirteen, I.
Speaker 1: Would say, given that everybody is well aware that there
is something not great happening in the aisle, everyone is
going to duck under their seats except for me. Get
this pulled up. Everyone is going to hop under their seats,
except for a group of six dragon born teenagers who
are toward the front of the car so near where
you're standing, who just look at you and roll their
eyes and go back to like whatever it is that
teenagers are doing on a train.
Speaker 6: Honestly valid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they see you, I mean kilone, and we've established
as a non traditional student, so you're a little bit
older than your standard college students, so they look at
you and they're just like, what is this old guy
like freaking out about. They're completely oblivious to everything else
that's happening on the train, and they've ignored you. Everybody
else is now crouched, not necessarily like they can't really
fit under their seats, but they're in the like the
foot space between the seat and the back of the
seat in front of them.
Speaker 7: Quit dragon, burning your feet and get under your seats.
Speaker 1: They look at you and roll their eyes.
Speaker 4: If there was one way to.
Speaker 2: Not get through to a group of like teenagers, that
was not it exactly, and that's it.
Speaker 1: Okay, great belle, now it is your turn.
Speaker 6: Okay.
Speaker 20: Bell is gonna sort of huff and puff, puff out
her cheeks and pad a little bit because she did
all that blade warding and then nobody stabbed her and
it was very unconsiderate of them.
Speaker 6: So I think she's going to.
Speaker 10: Because I don't want to hurt anybody else, I'm going
to cast toll the dead.
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't want to hurt anybody else. I'm just
gonna cast all the dead.
Speaker 6: It's targeted.
Speaker 1: Yes, Oh, you mean you don't want to hurt anybody
else in your party, Not that you don't want to
hurt anybody else.
Speaker 6: I don't want to hurt any of the passengers.
Speaker 1: Passengers, got it right, Like I have a lot of.
Speaker 6: Area of affect things.
Speaker 1: Yes, but there's people on this train.
Speaker 6: Yes, So I'm gonna cast hold the dead because it's bell.
It's more of a the bells of heaven are ringing
and making you think about your sins.
Speaker 1: Okay, And I'm gonna do it on.
Speaker 10: Which was the one that took damage recently, Number five?
I think yes, So I'm gonna do it on quarter five.
Speaker 1: Okay. Is there a saving throw there or they.
Speaker 6: Do a wisdom saving throw.
Speaker 1: DC fourteen DC fourteen plus zero on wisdom. So that's
a nine.
Speaker 6: Great, and it has taken damage, So that's gonna be
one D twelve.
Speaker 1: One D twelve.
Speaker 6: Oh, I'm sorry, it increases by one die so two
D twelve because.
Speaker 21: I am level five, okay, so that's gonna be two
D twelve twelve damage twelve damage.
Speaker 1: That porter, the female porter is not looking in great.
Speaker 10: Yeah, think about your wife, think about your choices, your
ding dong.
Speaker 1: That was a little bell joke for you.
Speaker 4: I got out.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I can explain it more if anybody didn't get it.
Speaker 4: I love it.
Speaker 1: And Porter number three is still under Clarice's suggestion spell,
and it's just going to be like maybe if we
would just let them into the.
Speaker 13: Cargo hole, they wouldn't be trying to hurt us.
Speaker 1: And that's her turn.
Speaker 2: Oopsil bods will return after these brief messages.
Speaker 1: And now it is Gideon's turn. All right. Gideon, seeing
that that particular order is looking rough, is going to
step up to her and is once again attacking with
his fists because that's that is the weapon that he
knows best, which is funny for somebody who's supposed to
be in charge of like the military, and that is
also a crit fail Gideon is. Gideon's not doing so
well tonight, so he he takes this swing at her,
and he swings so hard that he actually spins himself
around and stops just shy of tripping over Clarice. Oh wait, no,
Clarice is under the stool that are under the seat.
So he's going to as he spins around, he's going
to stop, just shy of like actually punching himself in
the face.
Speaker 11: This guy is the Minister of war.
Speaker 1: Did you say that out loud?
Speaker 8: Um?
Speaker 1: Sure, he's He's just gonna turn around you to be
like we have been at peace for thirty years.
Speaker 6: I'm a little rusty.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm not complaining, all right, Oh Belle, you didn't
take any movement, and just a reminder of you, yes.
Speaker 6: Sorry, yeah, we just ended my turn with that. Yeah,
both of us, just yeah, that was that.
Speaker 1: So did you remembering the cretatio.
Speaker 4: I want to.
Speaker 6: Take a little, a little side step.
Speaker 1: Okay, so we'll just we'll just say that. As Gideon
is almost punching himself in the face, Belle is taking
a little side step, remembering that that Cretasio had asked
her to do that.
Speaker 5: And now it is Andreik's turn, having taken a couple
hits from it was number four that hit me, right,
I believe so yeah, So, having taken a couple of
diggers slashes from them, Andrew gets out now on the
two hands with the long sword is blessed.
Speaker 1: Still up, I believe so great.
Speaker 5: That's going to be a seventeen to hit it hit
hits uh and they take nine points of slashing damage okay,
and oh yeah, and make another charisma saving frow. Okay,
twelve they fail, So guess what, go back to subtracting
a D four from your attack rolls on number four okay,
got it, and saving FROs and quickly I'm gonna use
my movement to not I don't want to get out
of their range, but I'm gonna pull another because I
remember Critasias saying that they're about to charge. I'm getting
out of Critatio's way and letting them clean up.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're just gonna kind of step to this
this side after you swing it correct. Okay, things are
getting very crowded around there, but that's fine. Like, none
of you except for Critasio and Killing are that big.
So we're gonna say that if Critasio is still planning
on doing this, Critasio, your path is clear and it
is your turn.
Speaker 16: All right, I'm gonna barrel head first towards these two
porters and try to just knock them both.
Speaker 4: Through the door.
Speaker 1: Okay, the door swings out into the car, so you're
not gonna be able to knock them through the door.
Knock them into the door.
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, yeah, so what do you think strength?
Speaker 1: Uh No, it's gonna be unarmed. Strike with your head,
and I'm gonna give you advantage on this because you
are moving at full speed and we're just gonna ignore
the fact that the train is also moving. It would
probably maybe make this a little bit harder to do.
We're just you're large enough, you're stable on your feet,
and you are going to charts and head first with advantage.
Speaker 2: Okay, uh huh, that is a twenty four total.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that hits.
Speaker 2: All right. And then how do you want to do damage?
Speaker 1: Since I am trying to hit two of them, So
because we're thinking basically you're functioning like a bowling ball,
they're standing right next to each other, basically shoulder to shoulder, Elder,
there's a little height discrepancy, so I would say the
damage that you roll for your unarmed strike is going
to apply to both of them evenly.
Speaker 5: Okay, cool, So.
Speaker 1: What's the damage on this three damage each? Okay? And
then you hit them hard enough that they are going
to go flying into the door behind them. So as
Cretatio hits them and they take their three points of
damage from that forward hit, they also go flying into
the door behind them, and from impact with the door,
they are each going to take an additional point of damage,
which is a little anticlimactic for that beautiful team effort,
but that is that is what the dice say. And
they're both looking rough. But number five, the female porter
and the oversized uniform, is really looking beat up. Okay,
and we're back to the top of the order with oh,
was there anything else you wanted to do with action?
Speaker 21: All right?
Speaker 1: All right, so we're back to the top of the
order and it is Clarice's turn.
Speaker 8: Larise, much like a cat, enjoys being under the seat
and lashing out from below, and is going to use
a little bit of a swap crawl to remain like
to to sort of edge around the seat under the
next one.
Speaker 22: So I'm closer but still cat like. Okay, and uh,
I want you to imagine that Clarice sort of pops
her little head out and one hand the hand holding
the rape year and uses its five foot range to
just sort of swat at their ankles.
Speaker 8: The mirrred.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're hitting. You're going for Porter number five, Yes, okay,
rolled ahead.
Speaker 8: That is a twenty three. Oh that hits and it's
gonna deal. Let me roll my piercing damage first seven
piercing damage plus sneak attack is gonna add.
Speaker 1: I can tell you you don't even need to worry
about your sneak attack. Porter number five is down, okay,
just crumbles in a heap.
Speaker 8: Like an tendon has been taken out.
Speaker 1: Yes, I was gonna say the Achilles tendon being taken
out was the last blow. There is enough blood loss
from that that Porter number five.
Speaker 8: Is dead and Laris is gonna scoop back under.
Speaker 1: All right, well it was Porter number five's turn next,
but she is dead and it is Porter number four's turn.
And Porter number four is very shocked to see his
compatriot collapsing, like knowing that that she was hurt, but
just basically collapsing out of nowhere. And because of that confusion,
I'm going to say that he's going to have disadvantage
on his next strike, which then he also has this
this D four that he's going to have to subtract
to it. So he's just going to kind of step
toward Gideon and slash out at Gideon, and that is
going to be that is not going to hit That
was an and he's going to very quickly. Actually, no,
he's going to try and hit Gideon again with his
offhand attack and that is a thirteen and that does
not hit Gideon because Gideon's AC is sixteen. So now
you've got Porter number four up against Gideon and Porter
number four, well, no, because CLARICEVI moved. Yes, okay, so
Porter number four is now flanked by Gideon and Andrick
and is going to have disadvantage on saving throws and
it is Keilonian's turn.
Speaker 11: Belle, you're pretty hurt, right, Yeah.
Speaker 10: I got it stabbed a few times and it was
like not an experience I would recommend.
Speaker 11: How are you doing?
Speaker 5: Andrick looking like he's experienced some pain?
Speaker 11: All right, Bell, I'm going to start with you. Andrew.
I'll come to you next if I get to it.
If we get another round.
Speaker 7: Bell, you look real hurt, I will give you some
help now.
Speaker 11: Abra kadabra.
Speaker 1: Count amazing. So for our listeners, that was Bob's commitment
to a five seven five haiku format, counted out on
his fingers as Kilonian was casting that spell. How much
do you heal her for.
Speaker 7: Ten?
Speaker 1: Awesome?
Speaker 14: Thank you, And since that was also a bonus action,
Kilonian is going to also shoot some more sparks into
the air with press to digitation and say good.
Speaker 11: Job getting under the seats everybody.
Speaker 1: You see a couple of people like raise their thumbs
up behind the seats, but yeah, nothing nothing else happens,
and the teenagers are still just completely ignoring you. Did
you have to move to heal beel? Did you have
to move to heal bel.
Speaker 11: Are you no, it's a distance thing.
Speaker 1: Okay, It is now Bell's turn. Great, okay, So five
is down, five is five is dead, Three is right
next to you, but three is still under the spell
from Clarice right. Four is hostile and is flanked by
Andrik and Gideon.
Speaker 8: Cool.
Speaker 4: Can I.
Speaker 6: Can I get in there?
Speaker 1: I just yeah, So supporter is like fully flanked and
you get advantage on your attack.
Speaker 10: Great, So yeah, I'm gonna go over there and I'm
gonna take out my my chak room okay, which I.
Speaker 6: Imagine Bell just has like hanging on her belt at
all times.
Speaker 1: Yes, and I'm going to attack, so okay.
Speaker 10: First role is a twenty six very much hits, very
much hits all right, So that's gonna be.
Speaker 6: Eight damage.
Speaker 10: And then looking pretty hurt bonus action attacking with the
other hand.
Speaker 6: First roles in nineteen hits.
Speaker 10: Second role as a twenty one hits, and then that's
gonna be just one D six straight. Okay, so that's
gonna be four more damage.
Speaker 1: This porter is barely on his feet.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 12: Oopsoul bods will return after these brief messages.
Speaker 1: It is Porter three's turn. Porter three's do you have
to do? You have to hurt my friends.
Speaker 13: I'm trying to take you to the cargo area.
Speaker 6: Only until they stop stopping us.
Speaker 13: Well, one of them is already dead, so she's stopped.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm uh huh okay, uh cool.
Speaker 10: I mean, if your friend wants to stop trying to
stop us, then we can stop stopping him.
Speaker 1: And she's just gonna look at Porter number four and
be like, don't you think it's enough? It's enough, isn't it?
Don't just let me take them into the cargo hold,
and Porter number four just looks blankly at her. And
now it is Gideon's turn. Gideon sees how fragile this
guy is looking, knows that he's got advantage because he's
flanked on three sides, and please God, let's not roll
another natural one with Gideon. Oh, that's a NAT twenty
plus his modifier, which doesn't even matter, and that is
going to be double damage, you think more plus? This
guy three is seven? Yeah, Porter number for is collapses
and that a punch. It was a punch.
Speaker 2: Okay, so he might feasibly not be like dead dead, right, No.
Speaker 1: He's dead dead, he's dead. He's dead.
Speaker 2: We're going to keep killing everybody.
Speaker 1: Well, I will remind you that Porter number three is
still unharmed and under Clarice's spell.
Speaker 2: Okay, cool, but yeah.
Speaker 1: So Porter number four falls back, smacks his head on
the arm rest of the seat behind him, and collapses.
I will say that Porter number four is now kind
of diagonally across the aisle and will need to be
moved before you can get past him. Those of you
who are still behind him or you know, stepped over
while this is all happening, the passengers on the car
who have been crouched behind their seats could still hear
everything that was happening, and they heard that like absolutely
spine tingling sound of head meeting metal as Porter number
four collapsed. And the ones who can see Kilonian who's
still standing there, are just going to look at Keilonian
for assurance.
Speaker 11: Uh, Keilonian is going to.
Speaker 14: Do a performance check and try to say a highkup
that will calm them down.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's do it.
Speaker 11: Don't worry.
Speaker 14: All use, everything will be okay, Kelonian.
Speaker 1: Says, And once again you just get like even shakier
thumbs up, like emerging from behind the seats. But nobody
is making any effort to return to their seats.
Speaker 14: You are out of initiative, despite my hesitant counting that
was a twenty one performance check.
Speaker 1: So okay, yes, yeah, so yeah, So everybody's just like
cool thumbs up, staying behind, like staying on the floor.
Nobody's returning to their seats. But you're out of initiative,
So I assume everybody is just planning on moving along
that way.
Speaker 14: I would, if allowed, I would take a pause to
do a healer's kit on Andrik. Yeah, and also on
myself if possible.
Speaker 1: I think that that's probably very smart and if anybody else.
Speaker 8: Wants that, yeah, okay, oopsul bods will be back off
to this brief ad break.
Speaker 1: You've vanquished the fourth quarter. The third porter is now
totally ready to take you into the cargo car. But
I believe that Keilonian wanted to do some healing.
Speaker 11: Ah yes, takes out his healer's kit and.
Speaker 14: Goes over to Andrik andreck, buddy, let me patch you
up here, your little bruise there?
Speaker 1: How much are you heal him? For?
Speaker 7: Ten?
Speaker 2: Ten?
Speaker 1: And great?
Speaker 16: I am at twenty five out of thirty three, so
eight points of damage.
Speaker 2: If anyone can help me with that, or maybe that's
honestly nothing that bad.
Speaker 7: Again, Oh, I can help you out, buddy, don't you
kers right now?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 7: For our next jams and jams and jams.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Higgins guy got a couple of licks.
Speaker 11: In all right.
Speaker 7: Uh, that's that'll be twelve twelve points for you.
Speaker 1: So you're back to full health?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Great?
Speaker 1: And you did you need to heal yourself? Also?
Speaker 11: I did healed myself for how much? Was that eleven?
Speaker 1: Great? So everybody's in pretty good shape. Now, yes, I
should check Gideon's stats just to make sure, but I
think Gideon's in pretty good shape too. Yeah, Gideon's in
full health, so we're good. So after healing everybody, Porter
number three is did you did you still want to
see the cargo car?
Speaker 19: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, let's let's let's go.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're going to start. She leads the way first,
and she fails that acrobatics check, which is going to
be relevant for all of you when she turns hostile
in a moment. Let mean I should I should remember
the damage here at this point, but it is one
D four plus two, so she is going to take
five damage. I know that bell automatically passes.
Speaker 6: You know it, and this time I'm going to give
uh yeah, so I'll help you won'tian again?
Speaker 17: Oh?
Speaker 11: Thank you? Once?
Speaker 14: Once again I rolled before we uh said this, but
this time I rolled a nine so that would be helpful.
Speaker 1: Hey yeah, so roll roll again? You got help?
Speaker 11: Is so bad that time I.
Speaker 7: Rolled an eight, So you tried your darnedest bell.
Speaker 2: But I just was hard.
Speaker 1: Damage.
Speaker 4: I meanwhile got the most useless net.
Speaker 5: Twenty you.
Speaker 1: Wheel across, Yeah, is really impressive, all right? Killing? And
how much smuch did you take?
Speaker 14: I took three damage? Okay, Angel, I hope you'll be
more proud of me next time.
Speaker 1: Andrek, how'd you do?
Speaker 5: Sixteen?
Speaker 6: You passed?
Speaker 1: Clarice ony four you passed, all right? And Gideon passes
because of Gideon's been rolling terribly and I'm not using
different dice for everybody, so it's not like I can
say I need to I need to get rid of
one set of dice. But anyway, Gideon passes by nature
of having a really high acrobatics MODIFIERLUS. The second you
step on to train three, you need to rule for
initiative again because porter number three turns around and goes.
I'm so what and draws a dagger. Okay, Clarice, non
natural twenty natural twenty Kilonian.
Speaker 5: A A.
Speaker 11: What a natural twenty for a total of twenty? Because
I have zero issition?
Speaker 1: Okay, because it's a natural twenty, I'm just gonna automatically
put you up ahead.
Speaker 11: Of the Pacifist goes first.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what could possibly go wrong? Andrek Ashley or Bell
nine nine and Cretatio.
Speaker 4: Nine as well.
Speaker 1: All right, so the two of you need to roll off.
That is a fourteen Bell eight eight okay. And then
I'm gonna roll for Porter number three, and I'm gonna
rule for Gideon. Porter number three World to twelve. Gideon
rolled an eleven. Okay, So Keilonian, what do you want
to do?
Speaker 11: Okay?
Speaker 14: So Keilonian, seeing that this porter has now decided to
turn against us, it's gonna step into action and is
going to point at a spot twenty feet away from
where behind where the porter is.
Speaker 1: It's like right up against the back door.
Speaker 14: Yeah, okay, to catch in order to catch the porter
in a twenty foot sphere without affecting anybody else, any
of our allies. And he's going to do an old
classic sleep.
Speaker 1: Okay, I love it.
Speaker 7: You can tell the haikus that I prepared ahead of
time from the ones.
Speaker 11: That I do on the spot. He's going to say.
Speaker 14: A point of order for disorderly porters, slumbers in order, amazing, and.
Speaker 11: He's going to cast sleep.
Speaker 1: Okay, So this is going to be.
Speaker 14: Okay, this will affect thirty two hit points and so
and it is in the twenty foot area. So I
think anything anywhere behind the porter, I think is going
to be affected by this. Sure, okay, and so yeah,
thirty thirty two points.
Speaker 1: Okay, to fall asleep. Porter falls asleep right in the
center of the aisle. But you don't you don't hear
like you don't hear anything else to indicate that, like
any any other entities that you are not aware of
on the train have fallen asleep. None of your party
is asleep, got it? Any movement or bonus actions?
Speaker 10: Nope?
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 23: Clarice Laris is going to investigate the car, and because
of where she is, she is.
Speaker 8: Investigating empty space but also looking curiously well at a
sort of you can move.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you could also probably tie up this porter.
Speaker 4: I obviously cannot.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure that Clarice is the best one to tie.
She's got very short not quite as short as you proportionally,
but she's still got very short arms.
Speaker 6: Well, we'll take care of it when we get there, okay.
Speaker 1: And actually, like we're out of initiative because the only
hostile person that you are at least are aware of
is now unconscious. So you can do whatever you want.
But let's let's have Clarice has already started. So Clarice,
what would you like to do?
Speaker 8: Chris is going to climb around the people, climbing around Andreik,
Gideon and Clorian, okay, until she's even with Belle. And
she's gonna look at that creep. Okay, go an oar
kid a check all right, grill up for me. That
is a seventeen.
Speaker 1: With a seventeen, you can tell that this is a
non magical crate.
Speaker 8: All right. She's gonna inspect its closure mechanism.
Speaker 1: It is nailed shut.
Speaker 8: Okay. Having seen that, she is going to ask if
anybody has a crowbar?
Speaker 1: Does anybody have a crow bar?
Speaker 4: I can get us a crow bar?
Speaker 7: Oh I could actually, Oh yeah, actually I also have
that ability.
Speaker 5: Let me think.
Speaker 16: All right, so my my bit for all of my spells,
I haven't done it yet, but like, I'm gonna sing
a song in an obnoxious operatic cover voice of it,
but it has to be vaguely about the object.
Speaker 2: I can't think of any songs that reference a.
Speaker 8: Crowbar hammer would do if you had a hammer?
Speaker 2: Okay, I can do that.
Speaker 4: Stop, have a time.
Speaker 1: We're going to go from Maxfell silver hammer. But this
is even better.
Speaker 16: And a hammer appears just like right on top of
the crate, so you can grab it and contest a
pure on a surface.
Speaker 8: Great seeing that hammer. Theresa is also going to look
at Cretaceo and be like, I'm pretty sure you're stronger
than me. Do you wanna.
Speaker 4: Do everything myself?
Speaker 5: All right?
Speaker 16: I grabbed the hammer and yeah, use the claw end
to kind of pry out the nails.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're doing this with your short arms.
Speaker 2: Yes, supposedly that should be an okay, well, just do.
Speaker 1: A strength check for me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that is a fifteen.
Speaker 1: With a fifteen, you're able to pry it open. So
as you take the front of the crate off, because
it's a it's a tall crate. So as you take
the front off, you see the most ungodly collection of
mannequins and porcelain dolls that you have ever seen?
Speaker 2: Hey, do we want to maybe put the lid back
on this crate?
Speaker 1: I will say, you know that there is no magic
in this crate from.
Speaker 4: Yeah, does it look like I care?
Speaker 1: As soon as you see it, you all just go, ah,
put it back there. We know it's not magic. They
are not going to be any magical Ventrailoquiste is following
you around.
Speaker 5: Does anything in the cargo hold seem to look like
the crate that I saw on the platform as we
were heading out.
Speaker 1: Yes, all three of the crates are identical, and they
all have the words caution, do not drop print and
printed on them. So there is You've now eliminated one
crate and you just have to figure out whether either
of the other two or what you saw outside.
Speaker 4: All right, I guess I'll uh, well, so are we
out of initiative?
Speaker 1: You're out of initiative because the only the only hostile
entity in the room that you are aware of was
Porter number three, who is asleep for the next minute.
So you don't like, you don't have a ton of time, okay,
and somebody at some point probably needs to tie her up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was gonna say since we're out of initiative,
then we don't have to wait for somebody to like
it be their turn.
Speaker 10: Yeah, so Bell, Well, just she's already done the belt thing,
so she's just gonna go straight for it.
Speaker 8: And then I think she.
Speaker 10: Still has the sharpie from yeah Kitchen. I think she
signed the autographs with that.
Speaker 1: Ye yeah.
Speaker 6: And she's also going to write bad guy on this one.
Speaker 1: Okay, love it. So yes, you took the belt off
of her pants, because there's a belt that's like part
of the porter uniform hog tire with a belt, hands
and feet together, right, bad guy on her forehead and
she's lying on her side with hands and feet bound, asleep,
snoring just a little bit.
Speaker 16: All right, Yeah, let's keep moving forward. Then there's a
big old wardrobe in this car.
Speaker 1: There sure is. Yeah, there's a very large arm wire
on one of the walls. It would be as you're
it would be on your right as you're walking towards
the back of the train.
Speaker 16: All right, I'm gonna lumber over to that big thing
and check it out, see if there's anything sketchy in there.
Speaker 1: Roll an investigation check.
Speaker 2: That's not gonna be good.
Speaker 5: That is a.
Speaker 8: That is a.
Speaker 2: It's an armor, all right, probably some clothes in there,
nothing to see.
Speaker 1: You didn't even bother to try to open it. You
just looked at it like, Yep, that that is.
Speaker 2: That's a closet. I would assume with this with a
six that would be the end character thing to do.
Speaker 1: Is yep, closet.
Speaker 4: Nailed it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, anybody else of any ideas.
Speaker 8: Claris will do a history check out the armor to
see what era it's from.
Speaker 1: Okay, a role for it.
Speaker 8: That was A nine.
Speaker 1: You've seen a thousand armors like this in the past.
There's nothing distinctive about it.
Speaker 8: Okay. Clarice is also going to investigate its closure mechanism.
Speaker 1: Okay, I love it. We're already in cap voice.
Speaker 4: Go for it.
Speaker 8: It's something about the word investigata say it. I'm just there. Ten.
Is there anything you can tell me about the lock,
like is it a built in lock or is it
external lock?
Speaker 1: It's a built in.
Speaker 4: Lock, like like needs like a keyhole.
Speaker 8: Yeah, okay, Clarice is gonna just uh to strike it.
Speaker 1: Okay, so yep, yeah. If you don't have it or no,
it's it's it's a Spallas cantri. If you don't have
to roll for that, right, you just get this it is.
It is a non magical armor with a non magical lock.
Speaker 8: Okay, uh coo oops.
Speaker 12: Sole Boards will be back right after these brief messages.
Speaker 1: Anybody anybody else want to do anything.
Speaker 5: Seeing that Cretato has uh inspected and closed one of
the crates, I'm gonna go find try and find one
of the other crates that may or may not be
the one that I saw on the platform. Okay, So
I guess it's kind of like going past Clarice messing
with the armoir looking around for crates. I assume I
see the two crates that are at the Yeah, yeah, it's.
Speaker 1: Not like it's it's I would say, it's not like
the brightest flit space. It's not that there are no
windows and it's dark outside anyway, so there's not any
light coming in from the outside, but there are there
is light. There are sources of light inside this.
Speaker 5: When I get to a crate, whichever one I see
first that resembles the one I saw on the platform,
other than the one that Cretasia was.
Speaker 1: At, very identical.
Speaker 5: Okay, whichever one I see first, like probably it would
be the one to the left. As I'm looking, as
I'm scanning the room, is it does it have because
I haven't seen what Crotatia did is does it have?
Is it nailed shut? Does it have a class? What
is the how is it done?
Speaker 1: It's it's also nailed shut, all right?
Speaker 5: Is it? Is it possible to with either a dagger
or my long sword kind of try and like wedget open?
Speaker 1: I would say, no, it's it's pretty well sealed, all right.
Speaker 5: Does it have a hand Does it have handles on
either side?
Speaker 1: It's pushed up into a corner so you can't see
all sides of it, but there is like a rope
handle on one side.
Speaker 5: I want to just get a feel for, like how
heavy is it? So if I can just kind of
try and do a pull off the rope handle just
to get a feel for like what.
Speaker 1: Yeah, go for it? Do you strength check.
Speaker 2: Twelve with a twelve?
Speaker 1: It's heavy enough that, like you, there's some mass, some
significant mass to it, like you, you cannot pay get
up maybe more than like a quarter of.
Speaker 5: An inch on that edge, thunder thigh bring the hammer here?
Speaker 4: Yeah, stop over, Yeah, I'll try to open up the crate.
Speaker 1: All right? Strength check.
Speaker 4: That is a fifteen as well.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, you get it open, and what you see
when you open it is at first it seems like
it's empty, but you know that there was something in
it because of its mass, and you noticed that it
begins to kind of shimmer a little bit in the light.
Would you both roll a perception check.
Speaker 4: As a fourteen?
Speaker 5: Okay, Andrik, that's a natural one for a seven total.
Speaker 1: Andrek put your hand inside of this crate please, okay,
welcome to a gelatinous cube.
Speaker 4: Squish? So does it pull him directly in?
Speaker 1: I get how it's you, and I think in order
to be engulfed, it has to actually move toward you. Yeah. You,
It is not going to immediately pull you into it,
but it will behoove you to get your hand out
of there as quickly as you can. And that's going
to be a yeah.
Speaker 5: What as Andrew looks in kind of uh puzzled a bit,
just kind of like reaches down in feels the squish
of something not quite right, and you will immediately retract
his hands.
Speaker 1: Fill me in deexaireity saving through You got it?
Speaker 5: Twenty one?
Speaker 1: You are able to pull your hand out.
Speaker 13: That's good?
Speaker 1: Yes, you all so it looks like you don't take
any damage on your Yeah, you don't take any damage
on a successful roll. All right, you've got a gelatinous cube.
Speaker 5: Can I Can I tell you as I retracted my hand,
can I tell that like that's something like what I
think of is just gel like tried to stick to
my hand.
Speaker 1: You kind of shake it off and it will fall
to the floor, and when it's not part of the cube,
it's more or less inert.
Speaker 24: Like.
Speaker 1: Eventually, gelatinous cubes can move, and now you've taken it
out of the crate so it can move, so it
will reabsorb the gel that you shook off of your hand.
But while it's just that little a bound of gel
on the floor, you're fine. I mean roll initiative for
the gelatinous cube, and that's a six. So it's gonna
be a while before you have to worry about it.
But you are back an initiative.
Speaker 6: Are we using the same initiative from We're using the
same initiative?
Speaker 1: Okay, so we're going to We're gonna pick up with Clarice,
and here we go.
Speaker 8: Clarice is not particularly interested in engaging with the gelatinous cube,
having gotten her butt handed to her by a mimic earlier,
and so she is just gonna sort of make her
way down sort of near where.
Speaker 5: It is, but like.
Speaker 8: Climb over some luggage and stuff and just go to
the other crate.
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you want to do with that other crate?
Speaker 8: I'm gonna borrow the hammer. Okay, inexplicably attempt a strength
check to just see what else is in these crates.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, romy just as straight up strength check.
Speaker 8: Amazing, even though I have a negative one modifier. That
was a sixteen.
Speaker 1: Okay, you managed to pry the front of the crate open.
Somehow it doesn't fall right on you. And do you
see that inside of the crate is a it's a
large cage. It's empty currently, but that's what it is.
Speaker 6: I don't like that.
Speaker 8: Yeah, Pis is going to just announce everybody. Did your
latinous cubes stay in cages?
Speaker 1: Was that a thing?
Speaker 4: I don't believe?
Speaker 6: So? Well, we don't don't they don't they squish through them.
Speaker 8: We got an empty cage, so we may have company.
Speaker 6: I was going to raise her hand mm hmm ye,
I mean I can't call on you.
Speaker 4: As the d mbody usually call on.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, we are no longer in class spell.
Speaker 6: I'm trying to be po white, Okay. Anyway, My question was,
is the cage like empty like it's lock is program
or is it empty like it's a fancy cage that's
being shipped somewhere.
Speaker 8: Clarice is going to inspect, Yeah, to an investigation.
Speaker 16: I don't know about you, but I'm definitely alarmed by
either of those possibilities.
Speaker 6: Yeah, people buy bird cages.
Speaker 4: Does this look like a bird cage?
Speaker 6: I don't know, ask her.
Speaker 8: Clarice's answer is I don't know because I rolled a six.
Speaker 2: Yeah it is.
Speaker 1: It's a it is a large cage.
Speaker 11: A question. Yes, the gelatinous cube that was in a crate,
it was in a crate. Okay.
Speaker 10: Bell is going to sort of huff like I can't
believe I have to do everything myself and go over
and join Clorice and take a look at they.
Speaker 1: We're in initiative and you can't do that yet. Oh right, yeah,
my bad. Yeah, so speaking was a freeaction, but you
can't go join Clorice yet. Andreik, it's your turn.
Speaker 5: But nothing is being hostile towards like after I get
my hand out. Nothing's being hostile A well.
Speaker 1: I mean there is a gelatinous cube and they can
move slowly, but surely.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm I'm going to try and just once I
pull my hand back, I'm just trying to step back
away from there and kind of like trying to reset
my vision. Like I've heard that there's an empty cage.
There's something squishy here. I don't know that. I know
it's a gelatinous cube. So I'm just kind of gonna
take a step back and just try to like figure
out what is going on with these two crates and
if there's a connection.
Speaker 1: Between roll and insight check inside.
Speaker 5: Nope, crit fail.
Speaker 1: There is a crate with a bunch of clear gel
in it, and there is a crate with a cage
in it. Porter number three is unconscious, So it is
now Gideon's turn. Gideon is way towards the back of
the train.
Speaker 2: But the adult in the room please do something.
Speaker 8: Gideon has on Gideon's rolls.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Gideon's not not having a great day, but Gideon
has a lot of movement. So Gideon is going to
walk up to like the space kind of between the
crate and the gelatinous cube. And it's going to go.
Speaker 25: Did anybody notice that this cage is just slightly smaller
than the other crate that has the gel stuff in it?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Just me, Okay, does that mean something to you?
Speaker 1: Getting is not generally like the most perceptive in terms
of people's emotions or in terms of you know, like
he's a lifelong bachelor, and part of the reason is
he's never he's never been able to keep a partner
because he doesn't notice like when they change their hair
by a new outfit. So he's not perceptive in those ways.
But he's very perceptive in moments like this where there
is conflict, and so he's going to just do a
perception check and he's going to fail it. So he's
not particularly perceptive in this moment either.
Speaker 14: That was going did anybody He's like, did anybody notice
this thing about the cage?
Speaker 11: Because I didn't.
Speaker 1: He notices it, but he can't put it together, like
he's he's trying to like figure out the geometry of it,
but there's it's dark, the train is moving. He had
to like step over this unconscious woman. There's he has
pointed it out, and I will say, if anybody else
wants to roll checks related to those two objects as
their relationship to each other. You now have advantage because
Gideon has pointed this out. But Gideon himself, the wheels
are spinning. Nothing is happening yet. And with that, that
was that was a free action. We've got movement, we've
got we've got that check. He's gonna look at Cretacea.
Speaker 13: And be like, I think you probably ought to like
close that thing.
Speaker 1: Back in, pointing to the cube. So, Cretatio, you can't
do anything about this yet because it's not your turn.
Actually it's your turn next. So yeah, okay, so if
you if you want to, you can as your action,
you can close the gelatinous cube back in.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll put the cube back in.
Speaker 16: Well, yeah, I'll close the crate and then I guess
I'll like pick up the bed nails try to hammer
them back in.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's do a performance check to see if you
can figure out how to how to make that work.
And we're going to call it a DC fourteen.
Speaker 2: Okay, that is a crip fail.
Speaker 1: As you slide the door back into place and are
trying to figure out how to use these bent nails,
you feel resistance against the door and notice that, like
there's a little bit of ooze leaking out the sides.
So you're holding you're holding this door in place, but
it's not going to hold for very long.
Speaker 2: Okay, I guess I'll just say, Andrik helped me close
this thing.
Speaker 1: Okay, so Andrew can't You can't do that yet, But
Andreck do you do you at least acknowledge him?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 1: Okay, Well that's your turn.
Speaker 10: Okay, Bell will go over huff a little bit, like
I have to do everything myself, and can I what
check would I have to do to put together what
Gideon could not put together?
Speaker 1: It was it was a perception check for him, because
that's like his thing. I think for you, it's gonna
be just like a straight up wisdom check.
Speaker 6: Okay, wisdom's better than I told you. Yeah, at plus zero,
let's see how it goes. That's a NAT one.
Speaker 4: Baby.
Speaker 1: You are also caught in this wheel spinning situation. But
I will give you actually, no, I'm giving you advantage
on those because Gideon had already called out that two.
So you can you can roll again?
Speaker 6: Amazing. Sixteen.
Speaker 13: Okay, so that's sixteen.
Speaker 1: What you figure out is that you know from andreck
being able to put his hand into the gel that
the gel is like permia from the outside. The cage
being pretty much the size of the crate minus the
actual outer dimensions of the crate means that the cage
is slightly smaller than the cube. So the cage can
be descended into the cube. Perhaps is a torture device. Oh,
I don't like that. No, So the thing about gelatinous
cubes is that you can get out of the cube
as long as there's nothing blocking you from getting out
of the cube. M Otherwise the cube slowly like it's acid. Yeah.
So whatever the intention, whatever is intended to go into
that cage, there is at least a possibility that it
is then going to be submerged in the ooze.
Speaker 4: Mm.
Speaker 6: Bell is going to make a very displeased sound, unlike
the sound that I made.
Speaker 1: Ah, okay, well.
Speaker 7: Ah, and then she will she will.
Speaker 6: Have in haul a little bit more and then and
then she's gonna go eh.
Speaker 10: And then she's pantomiming the cage lifting up, going to
queue and dropping down very slowly.
Speaker 6: While she does that, she will go eh.
Speaker 5: E is I'll ask the storm collar now clocking what
Bella is saying, we're.
Speaker 1: Gonna have everybody roll a wisdom check to see if
anybody clocks what Belle is saying. A storm color, really natural,
amazing storm collar. Storm collar not only clocks what Belle
is saying, and he says, I think that's for me,
And that's where we're going to stop for this episode.
Join us in two weeks for a very special episode
of the Barbecue, and then two weeks after that for
oops all Bard's episode ten ten Can you believe it?
As always, I've been your host, Gillian Ashley Blair Ivy
and on behalf of everyone here at oops all Bard's.
Thanks for listening. We'll see you again soon.
Speaker 24: Oops all Bards is created, GMed, and directed by Jillian
Ashley Blair Ivy. This episode was produced, edited, and sound
designed by Nate Runkle. Oops All Bards stars Ashley Banks
as Belsernamio and Coleman as Chlarice Sauerkloud, Ross Curry as
Andrew Carrow, hold Tage Sinha Das as Cretaceo thunder Thigh,
and Bob Killian as Colonian Stumps. The Oops All Bard's
theme song is by Bob Killian with additional lyrics by
Jillian Ashley Blair Ivy. Oops all Bards is executive produced
by the porch Room. We are part of the porch
Room Network on Spreaker Prime. For more information, visit oopsalbards
dot com. Thanks and be sure to rate, review and
subscribe to Oops all Bards on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or
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Speaker 3: Oops' salbars oh, another quality podcast from the porch Room.