Speaker 1: And I always say this, if you with somebody and
that friendship is so important where you're struggling and you
can't stay off that person and you gotta come back
and you want you still want to be friends. If
you can't have blessed you someone to be friends, maybe
you need to rethink that relationship that you in. Okay,
either you need to be with a friend or you
need to find you somebody who is okay with that
type of friendship. Okay, because girl, get off of him.
He need to get off of you and you need
to get off of him. Hey, y'all, welcome back to
dear to see yuah, y'all happy springs.
Speaker 2: Don't know about the springs.
Speaker 3: The springs a spring.
Speaker 1: Baby, you know, the pink also have on like some
pink purple eyeshadow of the match y'all. But if you
watch it, if you watch on YouTube, look, y'all see
my pinky shadow. Y'all don't know I am a spring baby. Okay,
April twentieth, So March twentieth was the first day spring.
It's the what's guys that I think it's the twenty
first time like that. Look, okay, we're into spring now.
It's also today is also National Flower Day. Until my
sister bought me a very beautiful, very beautiful bouquet of flowers. Okay,
so if you ain't got no man, just get a sister. O. God, Look,
if you ain't got a man, get you a sister
or a friend that you know that's just gonna love
on you. So anyways, I feel good today because it's springtime.
I feel springy. I'm in my pink, I love my makeup.
You know that just makes a girl's day. So anyways,
we're jumping right into it. We have some subscription reminders. Okay,
we want you to follow dear to see a podcast
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you can get that notification, so you can leave a
five star review. Now one nine to baby five. Okay,
you're gonna leave a five star review and tell us
how you're liking the podcast. So far, we have look
cross the bridge of ten thousand subscribers, and we aren't
our way to twenty. Now technically we're close to ten
than we are the twenty. But hey, who's counting, right,
I'm bouncing, I'm counting. Stop playing with me, Okay, stop
playing with me. All right, when things kind of transition,
we're gonna be having some guests and all that kind
of stuff. Now, I know that's that's what y'all here
to see. Okay, that's what makes a podcast a podcast.
I mean, I am main character material because y'all here
to see me otis period. All right, Look, I am
main character material. But I do know that y'all want to,
you know, see some people from time to time, and
that's what we're going to do. You know, we started
off doing that. You know, I'm in DC. I'm gonna
be making a transition to atl y'all pray for me
because I'm going out there with a dollar a dream,
a dollar a dream. But I do know that there
are more people frolicking to be guests on my podcast
in Atlanta than there would be in DC, even though
I had a time in DC. Y'all will look, look,
I'm getting carried away. We'll talk about that. We'll talk
about that another time, Okay. One of my favorite segments
are the reviews. I love reading the reviews. Okay, so
our one says this is from I am Mariah. I
am Mariah t Yes. I'm Mariah t Yes. I don't know.
She said, Sis, you are universally loved. Listen, thank you,
thank you, you are universally loved. Your vulnerability and unapologic,
unapologetic storytelling and healing women around the world. We are
making we are making wiser choices in dating, saving us
from the shackles of unhealthy attachments. Okay, she said, thank you.
My sister and I watch you on YouTube together. It's
our ritual. Oh, she said, my sister and I watch
you on YouTube together. It's our ritual. Thank you sisters. Okay. Ps,
I think your collective Lady Squad should be named to
see a Tea Party. You know what, Mariah, that ain't
a half bad idea. I think your collective Lady Squad
should be named to see a Tea party. Since we
spill the tea and you pour back into I love this.
I love this. Okay, welcome to to see a tea party. Okay,
what do you think? It's beautiful? Give your take? Love
you me, naed five you on ig. I know that's what.
They gotta take a screenshot of this to see a
tea party? Okay, it's given. Winnie Williams Hot topics, Wendy Yeah, God,
bless Wendy. I hope, I hope she makes a comeback,
and God bless all the people that are around her. Okay, listen,
that's cute. I ain't gonna I ain't gonna hold you.
Welcome to to see a tea party. Yeah, that could
be cute. That's going to the top of the list. Mariah,
come to the front. I love it, and thank you
to you and your sister for watching and supporting. Okay,
so we were jumping into our first voicemail, dear to
see you. Okay, let's see what the girls are talking
about today. Okay, let me Oh, first of all, let
me slow down because I need to tell y'all what
it's what it's entitled. Okay, so this one is entitled
can you be friends with your ex when you're still family?
Can you be friends with your ex when you're still family? Okay,
let me say because maybe I'm confused already. I'm confused already.
Let's see. Let's see I'm confused already.
Speaker 2: Dear to see you my X of six years. We
broke up last May. He got a new girlfriend pretty
much immediately, and we tried to be friends after that. Unfortunately,
as expected, his girlfriend wasn't okay with those with that
they are a long distance. That added some extra pressure.
I would say there were similar lines, and at the
end of January I did have to kind of cut
him off, block him, remove myself from the situation. It
really became too much. We went no contact for thirty days.
We're now at the place where we do want to
talk and see if we can be friends. I'm very
integrating to his family. I'm his niece's godmother. I'm really
close with his mom, his sister, really everyone in their
inner circle I'm very close with. I really don't want
to have to give up being a godmother, but I
also don't want to step on the toes. I want
to be able to move on. I want us hopefully
to be able to be friends. I just want to
know how to navigate this, if this is even possible,
and how you would handle it.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Y'all may think I have a co
hot gri It ain't yell family. It ain't your family.
And here's the thing, right, here's a thing you are.
You dated him, y'all were together, and you said, y'all
broke up and he got a girlfriend basically immediately okay,
but you're close with all of his family. You're the
god daughter to one of his nieces. You don't want
to give up being a god daughter. But you are
very close with his mama and all of them. Okay,
let me tell you this. I think that the sometimes
the relationship ends up being a casualty of war, right,
it ends up just being something that's just lost in
the sauce, because that's the risk that you take when
you're dating someone. You don't get to inherit and keep
their family. Most times, if I was the new girlfriend,
I would feel like, what is this really about? Like
I don't really I wouldn't really want you around like that.
I really wouldn't. So my thing is, you don't have
to be around that man to be a godmother. What
they got to do anything? If you are the godmother
to his nieces and y'all have broken up, you can
still be a god mama without being nowhere near that family.
You can call her mother, he or she's mother, and
you can't go to the niece, right so she you
can call her mother. You can link up with her,
you can hang out with her, you can pick up
that baby. You can be a very present godmother without
having nothing to do with that man. Okay, him and
you and his mother are very close. Okay, y'all were
close when y'all had the relationship, and it's the family's
lost in grief as well. But you just have to
really move on. You're saying that y'all are in a
place where y'all want to talk. Now, See, this is
the thing. You are crossing the boundaries. You're crossing the lines.
You said that y'all win no contact. You had to
unfortunately let them go, and then this man moved on. Okay,
so he he's moved on already. You talking about something now,
y'all in a place where y'all want to talk. Why? Who? Why?
Why you wanna talk to him? Why are you in
a place where y'all want to talk? And my thing is,
you're not connected with this man. And I didn't hear
you say you had children with him, so I'm just
gonna assume that you don't because you only mentioned that
God baby, so you don't have any kids with this man.
Why why do y'all Why y'all in a place now
that y'all need to connect, which means that y'all being
kind of connected prior to because how would you know
that he wanted to connect? Huh, how do he know
that you want to connect it? How do we know?
How do you know that he wants to connect? Because
y'all being kind of connected and talking. Girl, get out
that man, Get off of him. Okay, you don't need
to be friends with him. You don't need to connect.
You don't need to get in a place where y'all
need to do anything. Okay, the girlfriend wasn't comfortable with
y'all being friends or whatever the case may be. And
that's just what it is. He moved on. Let him
have the day that he decided on. He decided to
move on, and unfortunately you now couldn't be his friend.
I always say this, if you with somebody and that
friendship is so important where you're struggling and you can't
stay off that person and you gotta come back and
you want you still want to be friends. If you
can't have less, we still want to be friends, maybe
you need to rethink that relationship that you in. Okay,
Either you need to be with a friend or you
need to find you somebody who is okay with that
type of friendship. Okay, Because girl, get off of him.
He need to get off of you, and you need
to get off of him. The mama, you'll get over it.
You can still be an active god parent, but the mama,
you gonna get over that. Baby. You know, none of
these people are making y'all that the sun rising said, baby,
you you're gonna be just fine. You're gonna be just fine.
And I'm saying this will love. It sounds like you're
still a little caught up. You sound like you have
a little bit of feelings still, and that's okay because
sometimes that's just how it is. It sounds like you
still have a little bit of feelings there. And this
is not a good idea for you. This is not
a good idea because you don't have children with this man.
You have to release him, release him to that. No
friendship is needed. No friend y'all be holding on by
that pony's hill. No friendship is needed here. You don't
need to still be close with the mama. Unfortunately, you
don't need to still be a lot and y'all don't
want to admit it, but a lot of y'all be
using them families to still kind of have steak with
them men and be around them. Let's talk about it,
because look, we're spilling the tea. Okay, a lot of
y'all be trying to use the family and y'all relationships
that you got with the cousins, the mama, Tomam, I'm
real close to the mama. How do I get over
this when now I've been so infused in their family.
Y'all be holding on to them family relationships so you
can still be close to that man. That's what's really
the tea. Because the man moved on and he kind
of quite forgot about you, but you want to still
be stuck to that family so you can still kind
of be there and be around. Now. I'm not saying
that's you or not. I cannot confirm or deny, but
what I can say, Okay, what I can say is
that is giving you holding on a little bit, tal
my son. We we're to the point that we want
to talk now why he's moved on. He's moved on.
Let that man be with his new relationship and he's
moved on. If the mama call you see this is
the thing too, Why don't try a weigh the pros
and the cons and the probability of things. I'm big
on probability. If you have three hundred and sixty five
days out the year, how many times would you have
a holiday around that family? And how many times would
that man mama's call you? How many many? How many
times would that man mama call you? That should help
you decide what you're gonna do. The probability that you're
gonna have this flourishing relationship with his mama. Just because
you close with his mama don't mean that the mama
is still gonna want to try to keep the relationship.
The mama could be talking to the new girl. The
mama could A lot of this stuff is just because
it's prison that way. A lot of times she's close
to you because you're close to her son. Let's talk
about it. Baby, If you went away, she may not
be that connected. You was really close with his mama,
then you was really close with those cousins and aunties
and baby baby. Then people forget about people every day.
And I know, I really know that detaching and that
it can feel hurtful because sometimes these people really do
become a part of a part of your family. But
when you break up with a person that you've been
in a relationship with. You break up with the family too.
You may keep a cousin or sister, but you break
up with them too. You don't get to still be
cool with the mama. That's just the Hey, that's just
the truth about it. You don't get to still be
cool with the mama. It's inappropriate. You gotta move on.
You don't get to still be cool with they kids
that you raised from three, four, five years old. That's
why I be telling y'all, the people you choose to
love will change your trajectory, will change the trajectory of
your life. This is why I always say that the
people you choose to love will change the trajectory of
your life. And so with that, everybody want to be
in a relationship. Nobody want to break up. It's all bad.
So you gotta really take your time. Because this man
didn't waste no time, you said, almost immediately he got
into a new relationship. You gotta take that l. Siys,
nobody's willing to take the l. And also think about yourself.
Why would you want to still put yourself in a
predicament where you're not really healed. You still fate got
emotions for this man. You you kind of still connected
with the family. It's just it's not a good idea,
you know. And twenty twenty six, let's just go with
it's just not a good idea. Everybody want to get
so deep and we've lost track of like baseline logica.
It's just not a good idea, simple, simple man, it's
just baby. You can talk about the family, the heartbreak,
being close to them, how can you how can you
coexist with the At the end of the day, it's
just not a good idea that will save us so
much time that we just roll with. It's just not
a good idea.
Speaker 3: It ain't a good idea.
Speaker 1: Sis, don't be friends with this man. Don't try to
now we're in a place where we need to talk.
Don't baby lead it all alone. Let it go by
the wayside. And it's also gonna help you when you
move on with your with your new man. It's just
not worth its sweetheart, those are my thoughts. Take what
I said with a grain of salt. But at the
end of the day, it's just not a good idea.
And that's all you need. See, everybody wanna go deep,
That's all you need is that that's probably not a
good idea. Why why volunteer for suffering? Heartbreak? Potential, feelings
getting mixed, potential you y'all getting back together, potential the
girlfriend over there on Thanksgiving, Now you gotta meet her. Maybe,
go get a life, Go get a life, go do
something with yourself. You gotta let let the family go.
I'm sorry, but it is what it is. It was
what it was. When you are with a man and
you are dating him and y'all have built a life
together and are having a great relationship, and that relationship
comes to an end, you're breaking up with the mama,
the sister, the kids, the cousins, the nephews, Uncle Ray, Ray,
the neighbor, all of them, the dog, everybody. It is
what it is. It was what it was. And if
that person moves on, who are you to try to
still have a relationship with them? Talk about something. I'm
real close with the mama, who mama, not my mans.
I'm sorry, it is what it is. Who mama you're
still close with? Not my mans. It's time to move on.
Everybody body releasing one, two, three, release some baby. Everybody
gotta move on. And I don't care. I don't care.
You ain't got no kids with my men. You gone, baby.
I'm sorry, friend, I'm sorry if you don't have children
with my men. And y'all were once together, and y'all
break up. You not cool with his mama, his sister,
his cousin. You not coming to no cookouts. You're not
coming to a barbecue, a baby shower, his mama's sixty
fifth birthday party. You not my man. You don't have
children with him. It's done, it's over. Move on, and
I'm sorry. See that's the problem, everybody mixing up too much.
If y'all are over, it's over. If y'all are over,
it's over, simple man, cause you because it ting. I'm
close to his mama. Who's mama? Not my man's mama, huh,
not my man's. It is what it is, It was
what it was. Look sorry for your loss. What's going
on with my shirt? All right? Y'all was hanging out
a little bit? Look not my man. It's over. When
it's over, I hope you find another another man's family,
but she ain't gonna be a part of mine. You're
not gonna be coming to the cookout. You ain't got
no kids with him. Please? Anyways, I'm off that soapbox.
Let's see here. Let's see here. Call it what it
is not, my man, life is hard enough. Why did
think I wanna put put bring that to the doorstep?
Life is hard enough, baby, And you think you about
to be friends and COVID I don't have it. It's
already bad enough that these negroes are divorced, that these
negroes got kids and ex wives. And you call yourself
being a girlfriends to my man and you think you
still about to be cool with his family after I please, please,
please buy bye? Anyways? Okay, Voicemail number two dear to
see it? Okay, wait a minute, I'm gonna tell y'all
what it's entitled. Y'all know I'll be more moving too quick.
Y'all know him on my phone. I ain't got my
little setup how I used to. So let's see. Voicemail
number two is entitled dear to see him? How do
I move on? When he lives right next door? We
must be in the same family to that we're in
the same family. Everybody wanted nepotism, Okay, everybody want to
what's called ancest All right, girl, let's hear it, let's
hear it.
Speaker 2: Hi to see it.
Speaker 4: I'm twenty eight years old and I'm calling about a
relationship that just ended with the man who was thirty seven.
He's a really hard working man, and that's something I've
always admired about him. But no matter how much cared
about each other, we just couldn't seem to get it right.
We were constantly arguing. I got sick recently, and he
stayed away from me for about three weeks until I
was completely sentim free. During that time, he did show
up for me in his own way. He wants to
se the story for me and got whatever I needed,
But emotionally I still felt alone.
Speaker 1: I wanted more.
Speaker 5: I wanted more.
Speaker 4: Attention, more reassurance. And I think that's where things just
started to shift when he finally came back around or
I realized that I was holding on to resentment because
I would have been there for him a little bit
more differently.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 4: Well, that resentment turned into more attention, more pushback between us,
and eventually he sat me down and told me he
couldn't be with me anymore. He said I was too
disrespectful and ungrateful. This happened just a week before our
one year anniversary. What makes this harder is that this
breakup wasn't explosive. It was calm, even laid with me
for about an hour and told me how perfect I was,
but that I was just too much drama. Then he
left and we haven't spoken since.
Speaker 2: The hardest part.
Speaker 4: Girl were neighbors, So moving on doesn't feel easy. So
I guess my question is how do I truly let
go and move forward when he's still so physically close.
Thank you so much, and thank you for all that
you do.
Speaker 1: Thank you for writing me in darling. Okay, so there
are so many layers, so many layers come in. Let
me tell you this. Let's start off with first things first.
First things first is that you said you were sick
for three weeks and this man stayed away from you
until the symptoms died down. That ain't your man. Let
me tell you this. If my man, if I was
sick for three weeks and my I had a man
that I was sleeping and opening my legs too. Okay,
I had a man out here that called that said
that he was in a relationship with me, Guess who
ain't staying away from you for three weeks. I don't
care if you get sick or not, y'all have the
low this is what love sister, y'all got the lowest
standing in the or you know how she said that
when he's whinning she recovered. That's when he started going
to the store and getting her all the things that
he needed. She needed, and he was thought from da
la dah dah, please please. When Covid was here, one
of the family was separated one house, the other one
was up till one was down, and one had the
mask going to please men out here risk getting Covid
to be with they girl, what you mean he stayed
away from you for three wee please cec CC. This
is stuff. This is stuff right here. So it is
I'm not surprised to hear that the relationship broke down
because Babby was broke anyway, How on God's green earth
that this man what was he doing texting you talk
about some how are you feeling? And you saying he's
a neighbor. We ain't got to that part, and you
saying he's a neighbor. Sometimes he stayed away from you
for three weeks, but then when you did went went
Why did he stay away from you? Because he couldn't
benefit from you because you were sick. Always watch how
a man treats you when he has nothing to benefit
from you. When you're sick. You're weak. When you're sick,
you're contagious. When you're sick, he's the one pouring into you,
and there's nothing that you really can do. When you're sick.
You can't hump and pump on him. Okay, when you're sick,
the badroom is normally closed. So watch how he treats
you when he has nothing to benefit from You're down,
you're not bubbly, you don't have a lot of personality, right,
you have a low energy. You're not the one feeding
the relationship. You're not catering to him, and he disappeared
for three weeks. Always watch how a man treats you
when you have Always watch how a man treats you
when he has nothing to benefit from you. Okay, at
this very moment, you were very sick. You said, for
three weeks, I'm assuming you were very sick. Could have
been a summa virus, could have been a flood, could
have been oh okay, it could have been something. All right,
three weeks you were down sick, and you said, this
man started coming around after giving you food, bringing you food,
asking how with you? No, ma'am, and this man lived
next door, please please please, he lives next door. Always, ladies,
always watch how a man treats you when he has
nothing to gain from you. Okay, this isn't about intimacy.
This isn't about how what you can do for him,
how you treat him, how you pour into him, how
you affirm him, how you boost his ego, how you
take care of him. It's not about you being nurturing
anything like that. At this point, you're sick, you're down
and out and you have nothing. He has nothing to
benefit from. And you try and tell me that this
man didn't come see you for three weeks and y'all
are neighbors. Please please no way, Jose, No way, Jose.
Moving right along? Okay, moving right along. How do you
fully move on when he's your neighbor? He was your
neighbor and he went three weeks without you? You you
you've got a good start, baby, You got the head start.
You talking about something? How do I fully move on
when he's your neighbor? When that, Lisa, take the complete
il Okay, roll out your lease, all right, do whatever
you have left on at least, and it's time to
slide one or the other. He gonna move or you
gonna move. Take the complete ill. Additionally, you gotta head
start because you've been three weeks without them. Also, let's
talk about him laying next to you for an hour
talking about some of you perfect, but you perfect, but
you too much drama. A man that's telling you that
you too much drama is a man that is probably
avoidant and really does not have the capacity or the
desire to take on your problems. Okay, you're discontent. A
lot of times a man will tell you that you
too much drama because they they don't actually want to
level up and they don't actually want to do better. Okay,
A lot of times a man will tell you that
you're the drama and that you're too much drama and
you're the problem. And he's try to arguing and fighting
because he actually doesn't want to evolve and he doesn't
want to step into a different level of maturity. So
instead of actually learning how to tend to your needs,
to stop being avoiding, to learn how to compromise, okay,
to learn how to concede even when he know he
may be right to learn how to let you have
a lesson to learn how to politely, teach you how
to exist in conflict. He'd rather tell you that he's
too much. Baby, you dodge the bullet, especially with year
with y'all one year anniversary coming up, please please it
honestly gave low impact, low impact. He laid for you
for for an hour. Let me tell you this. If
this man tells you that you're perfect but you just
not the one for him, please let that man leave
and stand on corporation and show him just how perfect
you are. Baby, level all the way up. If a
man tells you that you know you're just so perfect
and it's not you, it's me. You know you just
a little too much drama for me. You're perfect, but
you're too much drama. Show him that you're perfect. Show
him that you're perfect. Stand on corporation. Do not respond
to any text messages to any just checking on you,
to any Hey, how you doing? To any Hey? I
saw your mama in the store, I saw your mama
at church to day tell your mama. I said, Hi, Hey,
what was that restaurant that had the good Brussels sprouts
and broccolini? That we went to on Valentine's Day. You
stand on corporate and you don't respond and engage and
interact with any of that, and you show him just
how perfect you are. Okay, huh, session is over. Classes over, baby,
Please please girl, Please, You ain't got much to get over.
You've already been over a low you got already got
over a low impact man. He was low impacts, didn't
do nothing for you, didn't do anything for it. You're
gonna be just fine. Please. Anyways, moving right along, moving
right along. Our third Dear to See You is entitled
Let's see, Let's see dear to see you? Are we
dating or just pen pals? Hmm? If you're asking that,
you're probably a pin pal.
Speaker 3: Let's see dear to see You. I am thirty years old,
and I've been talking to this guy and it's been
going well. But for a while, the messages that would take,
you know, like several hours or a day or two
for each of us to respond because I think maybe
we weren't one hundred percent interested or something. And then
we finally went on a first date after like a
month of sending messages. And then after the first date,
I really enjoyed it, and so I was responding to
his messages a little bit sooner than I previously had,
but he maintained a similar like tempo of message responses
taking like you know, like I would only get like
one or two messages from him a day, or not
even in a day, it might be like the next
day or something. And then he wasn't asking me out
and again, and so I wasn't sure, like is he
not interested? And I just don't know, like how long
do I let the texting go on because I don't
want to feel like I'm just a penpal.
Speaker 5: But then I don't necessarily want to ask him out
on a second date. I mean, maybe I just should,
But how long do you let someone like just keep
texting you after a first date before you call it off?
Speaker 1: Okay, Oh, this is with all the love I have
in my heart, girl, if you don't pick your damn
head up and get some self esteem, grow you vibrating solo?
Please please, I am telling you if you don't, and
I mean this with all the love in my heart,
you're the type of woman that is so kidnappable. All
it take is a man to show you halfway a
little bit of attention, sweetheart, get into my secret girl's chack. Okay,
get into my secret girl's chat because you need a
boost of confidence and self esteem. You are very well
a penpal, my love this. You picked up the tempo
because you got eager because he took you out on
the first day, and then you start picking up the tempo.
And this nigga never picked up this man. She didn't
sound like a sister. This man never picked up the ten,
So why did you pick it up? You always let
the man lead the tempo. Baby, you want what he on?
If he going left, live left right, you go and left,
live left right. If that man is going left right,
left right, why you live live, live right? Why you
want his tempo? I'm on whatever you want, please, no, ma'am, no, no, no, no.
You went on one date and you were like, oh,
I really enjoyed it. Crumbs, bread crumbs, and you even said,
I mean, I don't know if I should just ask
him out on the other on another date. Girl. Let
me tell you this. I can take one unsubscriber. I
can take one person to unsubscribe. At this point, if
you ask that man on a date, unsubscribe, because I'm
out here I'm out here doing the Lord's work for nothing.
Please please don't write this man. How long should you
As long as he takes and when he comes back around,
you should be unavailable. Please, no way, no way, Jose,
you are saying that this man has been a pimpal
After all the messages, you finally went on the first
date with him, and you enjoyed it so much. Did
he enjoy it? Doesn't matter if you enjoyed it. Did
he enjoy it? Not enough to text you back in
the timely manner? Also texting as an adult, you said
you were thirty years old. I have a very good memory.
You said you were thirty years old. Baby. That man
need to pick up the phone. You can't get to
know somebody over text messaging. He needs to get picked
up the phone. He's not in youry, he's not interested.
Last week on our Zoom office hours again, come and
joined so that you can get into my secret girls chat,
so that you can get access to my zoom calls.
Last week we had a zoom call with my good
brethren Trey Tyrel eight on social media, and he said
that if a man, and he said he was a
reformed f boy six foot five educated handsome man said
that he was a reformed D one athlete and f boy,
and said that if a man is not calling you,
if a man is not reaching out to you, he
doesn't like you. He doesn't want you, he's not interested.
Why did your tempo pick up? You text me? I'll
text you. You don't text me. Maybe I will text,
maybe I won't. It depends on how I feel. Ya,
I gotta get some ego. Girl, you're vibrating too low speek.
Are you accepting crumbs? Why are you that stimulated by
such a low impact energy. He's done nothing, He's barely
reaching out to you. He took you on one date.
You better not ask this man out? Why are you
so enthralled with him? Women? Please, I think we don't
have to. I have to make space for this, this
this rhetoric here, Okay, I really want to make space
and take a pause to really talk about this. Ladies.
Your mind is a portal, Okay. Your body is a portal.
Your ears are the ones that we forget about. Your
ears is a portal. When you let a man call
you and talk to you and tell you all these
sweet nothings and have conversations with you and talk to
you day to day and fall asleep on the phone
with him and call you you go to work and call.
Your ears are a portal that go to your mind
and to your hearts. Your ears are also a portal.
So while it feels like it's just harmless, it's not.
Get these niggas off your phone. The more you listen
and the more you let them pour into your ears, okay,
the more you become soft, the more you become you,
you lose discernment because it just feels so good to
hear about their day. And let make sure you are
using tsa security okay, to the portals of the men
that's outside that gate of listening of your ears, okay,
matter of fact, make it global entry. Make sure scan
them eyeballs, okay, read them fingerprints. Stop letting these men
cross the portal threshold to your ears. What you listen
to really really matters, and it includes men that you
have in your ear. Get them off your phone. The
portals of the ears go to the mind and the heart. Period.
A man can talk you out of your pennies and
your sanity. A man can talk you out of your
pennies and your sanity. This is why you have to
be You have to have more security. Okay, you gotta
have a red rope around who is able to the
reason why you're like, oh my god, I had such
a great time on the first day. Maybe I'll should
ask them for a second one. Because you let that
man in your ear. And if you don't have tsa security,
a global entry, or who you let in your ear,
you will go and say, I'm telling you I've seen
it with my own two eyes. Stop letting these negroes
talk to you. Words are powerful, You vibrating low friend,
and our meaningess with so much love. This is not
to troll you, or to embarrass you or humiliate you.
This is so that you can wake up. You need
to get this man off of your phone, and you
need to get into My Secret Girl Chat so that
you can make sure that you I also got to
e an ebook. It's called From Situationship to It Girl.
If you download the book, it'll let you into four
free weeks of My Secret Girls Shadow. Okay, it's called
from Situationship to It Girl. Okay, it's gonna teach you
how to completely level up in thirty days. From Situationship
to It Girl, How to level up and change who
you all tract in thirty days. That's a complete title
of the book, baby, And when you buy the book, okay, Dre,
maybe we can put the link in there. I'll put
in a caption. When you buy the book, it's going
to give you four three weeks access to me, okay,
four three weeks to all of my zoom calls with
special guests. Last week we had Trey Tyrrell. The week
before that we had Braylen aka b Simone. Prior to
that we had from Nate with Love. We have special
guests on there every single week. All right, get your
tael into the girl's chat. If you never if you
never thought about it before, this is the time, all right.
You you you you too far from from the cross, baby,
You lost your way and it's okay, it's okay, but
you're too eager for this man and my and my
thing is gonna be what where's your compass and your baseline?
I just talked about this. A lot of us are
so emotionally fragile that all it takes is this and
you go and fill off the floor. All it takes
is a and you then fell out. Anyways, come on,
I'm rooting for you. I'm rooting for you, all right,
all right. Dear to see you, dear to see a
voicemail number three? Where are you girl? Okay? Dear to
see a Voicemail number three is entitled oh oh, here
it is. Voicemail number three is entitled dear to see
a Are we dating? Or just? Oh?
Speaker 5: Am?
Speaker 1: I a voice number three?
Speaker 5: Or no?
Speaker 1: I skip number two, I skip number two, Hold one,
Oh I think I'm done. Okay, wait a minute. Voicemail
number one was homegirl with the AX and the family.
Voicemail number two was our good sister that lived next
door to the AX and didn't come check on her
for three weeks. And Voicemail number three, look out, look,
I was gonna go. I had that gas in my tank.
I was ready to go on to the look Voicemail three,
four and five. Now y'all wrote me before and telling
me y'all need more than three voicemails. Huh, I was babby.
I was ready to go. Oh, I was trucking, trucking, trucking,
all right, we are the voice notes. Huh, I must
be charged up today because it's spring anyways. Anyways, look,
I lost track of time because to see it was
spilling the tea. Welcome to to see its tea time. Okay, listen, listen,
I was, I was, I was TTG ready to go.
Okay okay, now for our fragrance segment to see if
you smell good? Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. So today,
my dear friends, we are talking about this is Rule
Broke US League Premiere. Can y'all see pen y'all see,
get into it, get into it. This is League Premiere
by Rule Broker, Yeah, by Rue Broker. I ain't know
if it was l Lead Premiere was the brand or
was Rue Broker the brand? Okay, I think Rubroker is
the brand and the scent is called League Premiere. I
want to show y'all the top and how cute that is. Okay.
Also to the to the girls that are watching on YouTube,
if we having some lighting issues, look it's actually back
now for like today is too bright? The first episode
I filmed in the house, I felt like it was
the light was too low. Now I feel like it's
sue bright. Can we see can we see? Anyways? Okay,
we have Ruebroker Leak's Premiere. League Premiere by Rue broker,
and y'all can see this little top. It is so cute.
I just think it's like kind of snazzy, you know.
All right, let's talk about the notes. Let's talk about
the notes. The notes are okay, So let's say, Rue Broker,
let's say let's see h I love my life, y'all. Okay, So,
League Premier is an amber floral unisex sent from uh
u a E. That's like, yeah, u a y'all know
what I'm talking about. It's widely recognized as an affordable
alternative to the Mason Cravelli Hibiscus mahaja mahaja. Hibiscus mahaj.
Y'all know what I'm talking about. That is the infamous
fragrance that's going all around the arenet. Now this listen,
pronunciation police will be blocked. Okay, but we all know
the fragrance that we talked about by Mason Craveli. Okay,
I think it's called Hibiscus mahaj. Anyways, this is supposed
to be uh uh friendly, budget friendly version to it.
I'm gonna tell you this baby was nothing but budget
friendly about it. What was budget friendly about it?
Speaker 5: Huh?
Speaker 1: Well? Maybe I mean this was like two three hundred dollars. Hello, Hello,
what's going on here? Okay? Anyways, it is characterized by
prominent hibiscus and rose opening a heart of leather and vanilla. Y'all,
I love leather and a unique peppermint, cinnamon and musk bass.
I haven't heard peppermint and cinnamon in a fragrance in
a very long time, if at all? Hmm? Okay. The
top notes are hibiscus and rose. The hard notes are leather, casses,
black currants. I actually love black currants, and vanilla. And
then our bass notes are peppermint, cinnamon, and musk. It's
in the amber floral oriental floral family, and it opens
up with a vibrant, slightly tarred and tea like floral
blast of hibiscus and rows, before suddenly into a warm,
slightly animal animal lick leather and creamy vanilla core. The
base adds a refreshing, cooling hint of mint mixed with
warms hands. I am curious, I am curious. Let me
put this down, baby, I am curious. I am curious.
Let's see. Let's see if it if it, if it
smells like it? Like it' red? Okay, let's see. Let
me do a little Let me do a little some
in the air first, can be mean, let's see, ah,
will y'all kneels be blocking y'all spray m let me
see something, let me see something. Ha. So I'm going
to lunch right after this, y'all. F y, I I
feel like sometimes so sidey. No, I'm deterring here, I'm
deterring here, detouring here. Why can't I talk to that
detoorn here? But I feel like a lot of times
everything on the internet could just hold space, and I
just feel like sometimes time relevance just matter. It's like
I won't try to feel like y'all here with me
and y'all living with me anyway. Today it's a Saturday,
I am. It is two point fifteen pm that I'm
filming right now, and we are. I'm going to lunch
with a friend right after this, so I'm gonna spray
she's also my fragrance friend. I'm going to spray it
and see if she says something, okay, my friend Mouman. Y'all,
y'all seen her on the podcast before. She's an incredible singer,
she's an artist, she's a voice over artist. She's very stylish.
She's a woman of God. Okay, you huh. So I
smell the peppermint, which I'm shook it. Smell the peppermint.
I don't know about cinnamon now. Hmm. Okay, this is
my last pray. Oh. I said that I was gonna. Oh, okay, okay, okay,
I gotta I gotta upgrade an update. You know, this
could be this could give a cough serp mentholly sent
but it's not. Huh Okay, okay, I'm okay with this.
I like the hibiscuits, I like the rose. I want
to wear it a little more. But I remember from
last week, y'all remember this, when I told y'all that
I was going to try to give a update on
the last fragrance that I wore. I didn't forget. I
believe now. If I'm wrong on the fragrance, don't, don't
crucify me. I believe last week was Gritty's Duceesa in
the velvet. Let me let me just get it said,
hold on, this is my shit. I could do this,
hold on cause it wasn't far. Okay, So last week
was gritty Duceesa. Okay, last week was du gritty Duchessa,
which I'm holding right now. It's very velvety and just
has a lot of weight on it. I told y'all
that last week, are right gritty Duchessa. I wore it out.
We went to Eddie Vee's for a happy hour. The
girl said I smelled divine. So I'm gonna report back
on Rude Broker. Rube Broker's League premiere next week because
I'm going somewhere today and let's see if the girls
say something. Okay, deal, deal, Anyways, it's wearing on me.
It's wearing on me. Let me see what the people say. Okay,
we'll see what the people say. Okay, We're once to
our Red Flag report. Onto our red Flag report, y'all.
My heart almost dropped because I had to check to
see if the camera was on. I hope this mic
is on. I My heart just dropped because I, you know,
the ADHD and me I knew I had clicked that
camera on. But the light is red, so hopefully all
is well. Hopefully all is well. Okay, now, red Flag Report,
our standards high are am I dyslexic? Dyslexic? This is
actually not upon you know, I think we're all trying
to start to figure out that some people are a
little bit ner divergence aka on the spectrum and autistic. Baby.
The way that I be skipping over words and reading
stuff backwards needs to be studied. Okay, red flag report?
Are high standards a problem or are people just triggered?
A new debate is going viral after an article from
Essence highlighted backlash towards Young Miami and her dating preferences.
During a recent interview, she shared that she wants a
man who is a provider god Field, fearing someone who
leads in, someone who at least and someone with at
least one hundred million. That's when the Internet reacted heavily
when many people criticizing her standards as unrealistic or out
of touch. Young Miami responded by questioning why people were
so upset about what she wants for her own life.
And that's where the red flag conversation begins, because this
isn't just about money. It's about how people respond when someone,
especially a woman, says a high standard, Hello, he lives.
We live in a culture where women are told to
raise their standards when they accept less, but when they
do raise them, they're told they're asking for too much.
So the question is if someone's dating a If someone's
dating standards triggers a strong reaction from others, is the
red flag the standard itself or is it a sign
that people are uncomfortable with someone asking for what they
truly want. And on the flip side, when standards are
rooted heavily in money and status, is that empowerment or
could that be dependency in disguise? Let me say this,
you can't talk giraffe to a turtle. You can't talk
giraft to a turtle. Anybody that have an issue with
Young Miami talking about something she want a man with
one hundred meal for a woman that's also a high earner.
You see, this is actually good because the people that
have a problem with it, y'all just move out the way.
Little bank, move out the way, little bank. Let big
bank take a little bank, move out the way. You
ain't got it, You ain't got a big dog, No
no reason to be mad. You ain't got it. You
ain't got it. How y'all asking them? How y'all mad
at a woman with money that want a man with money?
Maybe she got a hundred meal? Also, why is it
that we keep forgetting that. Men that have one hundred
meal are men that are disciplined. Our men that are
successful are men that know an ROI are men that
know how to invest. Our men that know how to
flip something. Our men that know how to turn. Baby,
make a dollar out of fifteen cent? What you're mad for?
And also if you ain't got it, if you ain't
in your no, no, no reason to puff your chest out. Baby,
You can't talk draft to a turtle. If I want
a man that's making six figures and you ain't got it,
no problem. But why are you mad at me? I
never understood that. I'm never It's always the ones that
don't have that's mad at the ones that's asking. Okay,
do you know how many men that I've met that
said that they don't like women that wear long nails,
They don't like women that wear makeup and that wear
wigs and weaves, they don't like women that are kurby
like me. They don't I've met. I've met a lot
of men that say a lot of things. Baby, Why
would I be mad at you for what you want?
Speaker 5: Say less?
Speaker 1: I'm somebody's favorite, babe, I'm somebody's complete type. A man
just told me that the other day. Okay, if he
had to write out his type, it would say to
see a sierra of a race. I fo why I'm
mad at you? If she want a man that make
a hundred meal, that got a hundred meal? What you
mad for? Go make some money, baby, little bank?
Speaker 3: Why y'all mad?
Speaker 1: Never understood it? Never understood it. Now the question was,
is that more an issue of her standard? I don't
think that that's an issue of her standard. Is that
the issue of the standard or the people? It's absolutely
the people, because a woman that has it should absolutely
require that somebody else has it. And I'm gonna tell
you this, and y'all can say what y'all want. The women,
I gotta watch my mouth cause y'all be putting these
clips about me online and then I go viral and
then it be a whole thing. Okay, However, this my shit,
I can say what I want, right. The women that
don't require the men to have what they have. Oh,
this is gonna sound so bad. I don't know if
I should say this. Okay, the women that don't require
for men to have the money that they have. You
oftentimes see these men and very servant like positions. You
see them being house husbands, you see them doing a
lot of the cooking, you see them taking care of
them kids. You see them being in a very servants
kind of role. No'w before y'all get y'all pennies in
a bunch. I absolutely believe a man should serve his woman.
I absolutely believe a man should be submissive to his woman.
I absolutely believe a man should cook and clean. Okay,
I absolutely believe it. But it is a big thing
when a man is not a high earner and he's
not the same kind of earner that the woman is.
Particularly when a woman is a very high earner and
she dates a man that is not a high earner,
you oftentimes find that these men make up for it
in just being super sweet, playing date nights, being thoughtful,
running a bath, you know, taking care of the kids,
cooking for them, all those kind of things, because they
gotta make up the difference. I said what I said,
I know what I know, and that's all I know. Okay,
that really be it. A lot of women that are
high earners, which I actually get it, because they don't
need the They don't need the money, so they want
to be loved properly. And there's this myth that if
a man is a high earner, he's going to lack
the capacity to want to love you. And I'm here
to tell you that you can get both. So here's
the thing. Women that earn higher and they don't require
that a man be also a high earner. These men
end up slipping into servants, submissive submissive positions to make
up the difference in the income. And then the women
don't really mind because they're making the money and they
would rather be They would rather be treated properly than
go date a man that has the money that's gonna
treat them poorly. And I'm here to tell you that
I've getting both. I've gotten both, and both is out there.
You can get a man that is a high earner
and it's gonna treat you well. And I don't care
what nobody say. It's true. I've lived it. I've lived it.
I've only dated men that are higher earner and they
all treated me well. I wasn't getting dogged out, I
wasn't getting smacked around. Talk too crazy, please, So that
is just a myth, and I get it like you
got these rappers and athletes and celebrities and stuff like
that that's in the media for having all these moneys
and being dog dogging these girls out. But I'm gonna
tell you this, I've dated very wealthy men that I
was the apple of their eye, complete adoration, loving, patient, kind, compromising, giving,
generous empathy, sympathy, okay, please treating me very well and
we're high earners. I don't know where y'all got that from,
but take your time and you can get both. And
that's all I'm gonna say on that. All right, all right,
let the church say amen, baby got it. Anyways, y'all,
that was it for today. I'm on my way to lunch,
lunch and brunch my friend probably in the lobby way
on me. Anyways, y'all, this was so good. Thank y'all
for joining another episode of Dear to See It. Don't
forget to hit that notification, but then don't forget to
like and subscribe, don't forget to go on nowhere to
Spotify and Apple so you can listen to it wherever
you are and I'll see you next time. By now,