1
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:08,519
Speaker 1: Hello, I'm welcomed stories all the time. Glad you are here.

2
00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:11,800
Let's get into it. I bought my first guitar at

3
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:14,560
a garor's sale in two thousand and six. I was

4
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,480
twelve years old and only bought the thing because the

5
00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:19,480
neighbor selling it had it marked for fifteen dollars. In

6
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,760
two thousand and six, songs like over my Head by

7
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,079
the Fray, Chasing Caused by Snow Patrol, and You and

8
00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:27,120
Me by Lifehouse, which all heavily featured acoustic guitars, played

9
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,760
on the radio constantly. I thought, if I learned how

10
00:00:29,839 --> 00:00:31,920
to play, maybe I could impress some of those girls

11
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,560
I'd recently developed an interest in. So I found a

12
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,159
few beginning guitar lessons on this insane new website called

13
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,960
you Tube. I also found a few instructional books at

14
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,880
the library. Within a couple of months, I could struggle

15
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,039
through over my Head, Chasing Cars and You and Me,

16
00:00:45,719 --> 00:00:48,880
And then I discovered The White Stripes. The White Stripes

17
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:51,280
if you somehow missed their flaming Calmer before it burned out,

18
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:53,439
were a husband and wife jo comprised of Jack and

19
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,560
Meg White. Over the course of eleven years, they released

20
00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,479
six albums that invariably harness, if not define, the sound

21
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,640
of two thousand thousands alternative rock. I learned that due

22
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,760
to his deep love of old school blues heroes, Jack

23
00:01:04,799 --> 00:01:07,879
White loved an love gear, an teak instruments, so I,

24
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,799
an impressionable young mine, became obsessed with old instruments in

25
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:14,079
gear as well. The only problem a kid in high

26
00:01:14,079 --> 00:01:16,400
school does not usually have hundreds of flexible dollars to

27
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,239
drop on a musty instrument. I found a couple of

28
00:01:19,239 --> 00:01:21,159
beat up old guitars from the ages of nineties of

29
00:01:21,159 --> 00:01:24,359
pawn shops, and may do with those. As I entered adulthood,

30
00:01:24,359 --> 00:01:26,640
I contented myself with the handful of guitars I already had,

31
00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,840
and started investing most of my time and money into

32
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,120
building a life with the love of my life, Stephanie Stamp.

33
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,159
Stephan I met in high school when she transferred during

34
00:01:34,159 --> 00:01:37,439
our junior year. We got married in twenty sixteen, bought

35
00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:40,079
a house in twenty seventeen, and supported one another through

36
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,680
the early days of our careers. She was a graphic

37
00:01:42,719 --> 00:01:45,280
designer for a publishing company that somehow hired her without

38
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,439
a degree. Maybe no self respecting degree holder would have

39
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:51,799
accepted the salary and benefits or a lacterof they gave her.

40
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,879
I became an electrician, but hoped of one day recording

41
00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:56,680
a demo in my spare time that would kickstart the

42
00:01:56,719 --> 00:02:00,599
career I really wanted. On an electrician's salary plus Stephanie's

43
00:02:00,599 --> 00:02:03,159
meager pay, I wasn't able to grow my instrument collection,

44
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,920
despite a consistent craving for something weathered, unbeaten, and stored.

45
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,919
In early twenty eighteen, Stephanie got pregnant. We trimmed our

46
00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:12,919
budget even further to save for the baby, but Stephanie

47
00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:15,120
still liked to pop into Albert's Anteeks every week or

48
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,840
two to have a look around. She occasionally picked up

49
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,759
a trinket that she would guiltily hide behind her back

50
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,960
whenever she came home. As she explained her rationale for

51
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,319
purchasing it, I would invariably kiss her on the cheek, lips,

52
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,000
or forehead and tell her something like, well, the baby

53
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,000
just paid his rent, so were flush at the moment,

54
00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,680
or don't worry. I put a line item in the

55
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,719
budget for hormone induced decisions. She was never a big

56
00:02:35,759 --> 00:02:38,560
fan of that second one. Sometimes I went with steph

57
00:02:38,599 --> 00:02:41,080
to Abbott's. Admittedly, when money felt tighter than usual and

58
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,280
I needed to rain her in a little bit, I

59
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,199
didn't make up the hormone and just decision thing out

60
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:47,120
of nowhere. But I did enjoy looking a round the

61
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,520
store too. Occasionally a stored instrument would find its way

62
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,039
on to a rock with a price tag for half

63
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,960
my paycheck dangling in the air between us. I would

64
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:59,120
always pretend to hegel with Benson now, but over the guitar, lapsteel, banjo, mandolin,

65
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,759
or whatever it was. Benson coroned the store with his wife, Dorry,

66
00:03:02,759 --> 00:03:06,520
who would always scold her husband if she overheard us. Thenceon, Albert,

67
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,000
you give that young man a bargain. He doesn't need

68
00:03:09,039 --> 00:03:10,520
to break the bank with a baby in the way.

69
00:03:11,039 --> 00:03:13,599
I'm going as low as I can, hear Dorry, this

70
00:03:13,719 --> 00:03:16,159
guy's just too cheap, Benson would reply, always with a

71
00:03:16,199 --> 00:03:19,520
twinkle in his eye. Once I responded with I'll trady

72
00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:21,840
the baby, Benny, my firstborn for that. Marten with the

73
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:25,000
cracked head stuck. That one got everyone but stiff laughing.

74
00:03:25,479 --> 00:03:27,639
The way she rolled her eyes and smirt was better

75
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,879
than a laugh, though Benson said stay here a minute

76
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,080
and disappeared into the office behind the front counter. Oh,

77
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,439
I know what he's getting that cruel man, said Dorry.

78
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,719
Thenson emerged a moment later carrying a time warn Slingle

79
00:03:39,759 --> 00:03:43,400
and Mabe parlor guitar sir CA nineteen thirty something, he said,

80
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,199
as he laid it across the counter in front of me.

81
00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:48,360
I said, it's beautiful, Benny. I mean it's beat up,

82
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,800
but that one him makes it better. Oh how much

83
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,360
ton I bet is in this wood? Do you hear him?

84
00:03:53,919 --> 00:03:56,199
Stiff gock to Dorry, who grinned and flapped a hand down.

85
00:03:56,199 --> 00:03:59,439
Would like pieshaw? I asked, when did you get this?

86
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,800
In then's Announcewer it just a few days ago? It

87
00:04:02,919 --> 00:04:06,599
was my father's victually he had it hidden up in attic. Oh,

88
00:04:06,639 --> 00:04:11,680
I'm sorry. Did he pass recently? I asked, Oh somewhat?

89
00:04:12,159 --> 00:04:15,599
What was it Dorry? A month ago? Now? Anyway, it

90
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,759
was a long time coming and he's better off now.

91
00:04:18,399 --> 00:04:20,000
Me and Dorry we went down to his house and

92
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,639
held in estate sale. That might seem sort of coal,

93
00:04:22,759 --> 00:04:24,160
I know, but it's what we know how to do.

94
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,480
It paid for the funeral. Anyway. I almost kept this

95
00:04:27,519 --> 00:04:30,279
guitar for myself. I didn't even know he had at

96
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,920
tucked away up there, but I tapped myself out of it.

97
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,279
I'm not much of a player. Some young guy about

98
00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:39,079
your age, I guess bought it, but you know, it's

99
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:41,800
the strangest thing. He called us a few days later

100
00:04:41,959 --> 00:04:44,399
and asked if we'd give him a reefind. You know

101
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:47,879
we don't do that. All sales are final, but I

102
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,800
bent the rules a little bit because, to be honest,

103
00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:52,439
I regretted selling this thing. It's maybe not in the

104
00:04:52,439 --> 00:04:55,360
best shape. But listen to this. Thenson picked up the

105
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,680
Mabel and strummed a mystical sounding called that wrong, warm

106
00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,040
and woody from the sand Hall. The bee too in

107
00:05:00,079 --> 00:05:03,120
your slips all the time, Benson explained, makes it how

108
00:05:03,199 --> 00:05:05,920
to play along to my Johnny Cash records. Did you

109
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:07,560
bring this out just to tell me you won't sell it?

110
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:11,800
I groaned. Dory said, please take it, Julian, and he

111
00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:14,720
won't put the damn thing down since he got it. Immmheim,

112
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,319
Benson reply very flat. I saw, only for a brief

113
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:20,639
second a flash of something in Benson's face which I'd

114
00:05:20,639 --> 00:05:23,480
never seen before. He and his wife shared a fantastic

115
00:05:23,519 --> 00:05:26,639
and sarcastic sense of humor. Listening to them bicker was

116
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:29,160
half the entertainment at Albert's Antiques, but at Dorry's fairly

117
00:05:29,199 --> 00:05:31,959
innocious insinuation that he played his father's guitar too much.

118
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:35,920
Benson appeared, at least for a moment, irritated, wondering if

119
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,879
perhaps I had accidentally sired Benson's mood. I said, I

120
00:05:38,879 --> 00:05:42,079
am joking. Obviously, I would never dream of separating you

121
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:45,319
from something so sentimental. Of course I know that, Benson

122
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:48,439
replied now with a friendly groan. I just thought you'd

123
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:51,360
like to take a look, want to play it? I

124
00:05:51,399 --> 00:05:53,759
looked at steph who wore an obvious impatience that her

125
00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:57,360
pregnancy prevented me from ignoring. I said, next time, for sure.

126
00:05:58,079 --> 00:06:00,920
I think we've got to get going again before that

127
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,879
baby comes. Heaven knows, we won't see you much after

128
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:06,759
he does. Dorry set We assured them we would, and

129
00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:09,519
said good bye. We returned to Alberts and Takes a

130
00:06:09,519 --> 00:06:13,319
couple of weeks before Stephanie's jud date. Benson greeted us cheerily,

131
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,399
but Dorry wasn't there. She's off to day visiting her sister,

132
00:06:16,519 --> 00:06:20,160
he said, then laughed. She'll be sorry she wasn't here.

133
00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,040
I don't imagine you'll make it back before the big day. Right,

134
00:06:23,639 --> 00:06:27,720
looks like you're about to pop, Stephanie politely laughed, I am,

135
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,319
and I'm sorry she's not here too. We'll just have

136
00:06:30,399 --> 00:06:32,360
to surprise her with a visit from the baby after

137
00:06:32,399 --> 00:06:34,759
he's born. Do you have a name picked out yet,

138
00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:39,040
Denton asked, I said, not yet. It's hard to narrow

139
00:06:39,079 --> 00:06:42,600
them down. Oh sure, sure, Well, why don't you have

140
00:06:42,639 --> 00:06:46,360
a look round and Julian when you're ready to check out?

141
00:06:46,399 --> 00:06:49,319
There's something I want to talk to you about. Oh sure,

142
00:06:49,399 --> 00:06:52,160
I said, blindsided by a sudden heaviness in Benson's normally

143
00:06:52,199 --> 00:06:55,160
bouncy voice. He had always seemed to me like a

144
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,160
rocket rising above the exhaust of all the decade behind him.

145
00:06:58,439 --> 00:07:00,759
As he said something I want to talk to you about,

146
00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:02,639
his voice creeped in a way that made it suddenly

147
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:05,480
seem like the rocket might not escape the atmosphere. He

148
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,680
gave me a warm but pained smile and went into

149
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,959
the office behind the counter. Wonder what that's about, Stephanie

150
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,160
whispered as she waddled into the first dial. Probably nothing,

151
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:17,639
I guessed. I expected Benson to lay some fatherly advice

152
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,800
on me, or maybe share some old man wisdom about

153
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,839
maintaining a marriage during the tumultuous first months with a nebron.

154
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,279
But when Stephana returned to the counter, me empty handed

155
00:07:26,399 --> 00:07:28,360
and her with the collection of tiny pitch of frames

156
00:07:28,399 --> 00:07:31,279
for the baby's room, my heart skipped with excitement. I

157
00:07:31,319 --> 00:07:33,839
saw Benson's father's Mabel guitar prop against the stool he

158
00:07:33,879 --> 00:07:38,920
was sitting on. Remember this, he asked, do I? I

159
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:43,319
replied rhetorically, Remember how I wouldn't sell it. Don't tell

160
00:07:43,319 --> 00:07:46,079
me you've changed your mind. Benson picked up the guitar

161
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,639
and laid a flat in his lap. He ran his

162
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,160
thick fingers across the tarnish strings, before wrapping his hand

163
00:07:51,199 --> 00:07:53,480
around the neck and standing the guitar up on his knee.

164
00:07:53,879 --> 00:07:55,959
He gave it a once over, then looked at me again,

165
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,920
name your price. I didn't know how to respond. I've

166
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,480
you're standing there stupidly for a second, I said, Benny,

167
00:08:02,519 --> 00:08:06,600
I can't the sentimental value alone. Forget the sentimental value,

168
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:10,319
Benson replied, very serious, perhaps the most serious I have

169
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:13,319
ever seen him. I don't want it any more. It

170
00:08:13,399 --> 00:08:15,399
has It just reminds me too much of my father

171
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:21,079
in ways i'd rather not be reminded. Oh okay, I replied, Ahmed. Well, Bernie,

172
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,000
I know it's not nearly what it's worth, but the

173
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,720
most I could probably give you is I watched Stephan

174
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:28,879
his fiscarefully as I said two hundred, making it sound

175
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:32,799
like a question. Her expression held nothing but encouragement. Her

176
00:08:32,799 --> 00:08:35,000
eyes told me you've been waiting for this long enough.

177
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:39,519
Do it two hundred dollars, I said, more definitely, I

178
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,240
totally understand if you'd rather one hundred, Benson interrupted. I

179
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,919
pause with my mouth hanging open, before saying, Benny, no,

180
00:08:46,279 --> 00:08:49,039
that's not even a quarter of what it's worth. All right,

181
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:55,440
fine fifty, Benson replied, Wait hold on, Julian. Steph interrupted.

182
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:59,600
This time she touched my bicep tenderly. No, seriously, just

183
00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:03,039
a minute, I stammered. Benson cut me off again. He

184
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,000
keep talking and I'll drop it. Twenty five. A spark

185
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,320
of his signature twinkle flashed in his eyes, which made

186
00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:11,600
me feel slightly better. No, don't do that, I laughed.

187
00:09:12,159 --> 00:09:14,399
I couldn't help it. Here was the guitar of my

188
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,960
dreams basically being gifted to me, But I didn't feel

189
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:20,279
I could take it. It felt wrong, it felt dirty,

190
00:09:20,919 --> 00:09:23,039
it felt I'm not sure how to accurately describe it.

191
00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:26,960
Don't you have a son, I asked, shouldn't you pass

192
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,279
it down to him? I don't want him to have it,

193
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:33,480
Benson answered, almost robotically, then quickly amended this statement. I

194
00:09:33,759 --> 00:09:36,039
what I mean is he doesn't want it. He's not

195
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,879
a player like you. Fifty bucks in this little beauty

196
00:09:38,919 --> 00:09:42,840
is all yours. I can't, I said Julian staff Coot.

197
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,600
I looked at her, expecting her to understand why I

198
00:09:45,639 --> 00:09:47,759
refused to basically steal a family airlim from a kind

199
00:09:47,759 --> 00:09:50,519
old man, but she nodded toward the guitar and waved

200
00:09:50,519 --> 00:09:55,519
me forward. Dorry's all right with this, I asked, Benson said,

201
00:09:55,559 --> 00:09:57,360
Dorry would be angry at me for taking a dollar

202
00:09:57,399 --> 00:09:59,399
from you. I would just give it to you, but

203
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,759
I want you to I feel like it's yours. Don't

204
00:10:01,759 --> 00:10:03,679
you think of it as my daddy's guitar? All right,

205
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,919
it's yours to do with what you will, I understand,

206
00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:10,799
I said, pulling out my wallet. Benson said good, but

207
00:10:10,879 --> 00:10:13,840
his eyes grew heavy and dark. I almost backed out

208
00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:16,200
of the deal, afraid I was hurting him, but I

209
00:10:16,279 --> 00:10:19,080
knew he would only insist again and saved us both

210
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,799
the trouble. I may Stephanie hold the Mabel between her

211
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,440
legs and the drive home, her belly created a nice

212
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,080
rest for the neck. I left it in the passenger's

213
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:28,399
eat while I helped her out of the car and

214
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,279
into the house through the garage door. Once she settled

215
00:10:31,279 --> 00:10:34,120
into her chair with her dyark coke, dry bowl of cheeryos,

216
00:10:34,279 --> 00:10:36,320
and the TV remote, I brought the guitar inside and

217
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,320
took it to my back office slash Holmes Studio to

218
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,639
spend some time getting to know it. For a guitar

219
00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:43,200
from the nineteen thirties, the Mabel felt brake in my hands.

220
00:10:43,799 --> 00:10:47,279
Besides some understandable cosmetic were the body was in fantastic shape.

221
00:10:47,759 --> 00:10:50,080
The bridge lay flat, the neck was straight, and although

222
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:53,120
pretty oxidized, the frets were still even. The strings looked

223
00:10:53,159 --> 00:10:56,080
to be a decade old or possibly older. They were

224
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,279
also oxidized, but I wiped them down with a string

225
00:10:58,279 --> 00:11:01,399
refreshing solution to take care of that. The brass windings

226
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:04,000
all looked gray and the onlan's strings were almost black.

227
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,799
They sounded cool, though they played dull and quietly, which

228
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,279
I thought might fit a few of the songs I

229
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,000
had in the works. Plus, with the Baby on the Way,

230
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,320
I thought a quieter instrument might be nice to have around.

231
00:11:14,919 --> 00:11:17,200
Despite having extra strings in one of my drawers, I

232
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,080
opted to keep the originals on. Benson was right about

233
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,559
the tuning peg for the beet string. It slipped about

234
00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:25,000
a half step no matter what I did. I wondered

235
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,919
to myself, what would Jack White do with this thing?

236
00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:29,360
I thought of how out of Tunapple Blossom from the

237
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:32,360
White Stripe's second album sounds, and how honest the imperfect

238
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:36,080
guitar makes the song sound. Sure by ikey thumb, Jack's

239
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,360
guitars were pretty much in tune. But I hadn't reached

240
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,120
the ike thump point of my career yet, had I no?

241
00:11:41,399 --> 00:11:44,559
I was still in self titled album territory. I decided

242
00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:47,080
to improvise a bit, sometimes avoiding the flat string and

243
00:11:47,159 --> 00:11:50,120
other times seeing how I could incorporate it. My fingers

244
00:11:50,159 --> 00:11:52,360
repeatedly found this one cord shape I was not used

245
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,519
to using. It sounded terrible when I included the flat string,

246
00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:57,639
but the picking pat of my right hand habitually fell

247
00:11:57,679 --> 00:12:00,200
and kept bringing the wrong note into the fold. I

248
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:02,679
hope Stephanie couldn't hear me down the hall. I was

249
00:12:02,759 --> 00:12:05,120
driving myself and saying with the dissonant mess of a chord,

250
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:07,559
but I couldn't resist playing it. It felt like a

251
00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:12,240
secret door turn locking. What a melody A whole sum.

252
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,759
I worked out that the cording question was a bee

253
00:12:14,799 --> 00:12:18,080
augmented seventh chord. I know it sounds crazy, maybe some

254
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,320
of you musicians can relate, but it felt like the

255
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,039
guitar one to me to use that chord like the

256
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,039
instrument was expressing itself the way musician playing it usually would.

257
00:12:26,519 --> 00:12:28,039
But I could never have used a chord with their

258
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:32,360
flat be string. It just sounded awful. Experimenting, I waged

259
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,960
to dive into the bee string's tuning gear. I knew

260
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,799
it was a long tum fix, but for low the

261
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:40,000
string played mostly in pitch. When properly tuned and played

262
00:12:40,039 --> 00:12:42,480
openly with the chord, a trouble string provided a beautiful

263
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:45,399
after repeat of the root note. Finger picking patterm my

264
00:12:45,399 --> 00:12:47,919
fingers kept making me play. Now sounded pleasant and fancy

265
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,960
instead of ugly and dissonant. But it felt dishonest in

266
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,039
a way too. I'd experienced this before while working on

267
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,919
a melody or roof that sounded just a little bit

268
00:12:55,919 --> 00:12:58,759
too much like something else. I always found it best

269
00:12:58,759 --> 00:13:00,879
to walk away from the line between creative borrowing and

270
00:13:00,879 --> 00:13:03,840
plagiarism instead of trying to walk it. So, despite all

271
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,960
the time I'd spend with the be oldmented Seventh Court,

272
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,759
I tried to ditch it a gradlight peck and started

273
00:13:08,759 --> 00:13:11,799
strum in something new. But after I played about three bars,

274
00:13:11,799 --> 00:13:14,440
my arms suddenly would stiff. The pick drop from my

275
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:17,200
paralyzed fingers, and before it hit the floor, my hands

276
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,279
sprung into the perfect position to play that finger pick

277
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:20,759
to be Old Mint at seventh by know wol of

278
00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:23,720
my own thus poised, the muscles in my arms relaxed

279
00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:26,480
again to allow me to play. I jumped to my feet,

280
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:29,559
nearly dropping the mabel and panic. I caught it just

281
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,080
before it hit the ground. I immediately set it on

282
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:33,879
a wo man and closed my office door behind me.

283
00:13:33,919 --> 00:13:36,279
When I left, I could hear my heartbeat in my

284
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:39,080
naked ear. I heard Stephanie getting out of her chair

285
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,200
in the living room, probably to use the bathroom, as

286
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:44,080
she needed to frequently. I composed myself as best I

287
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,080
could before she came around the corner and saw me.

288
00:13:46,639 --> 00:13:52,039
How's the new guitar, she asked. I deflected new. It

289
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:56,080
actually pretty old. Steff fold her eyes. Ha ha, you

290
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,360
know what I mean. But it works okay, a little

291
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,360
asu with one of tuning gears. But I bet a

292
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,240
good Lothia can fix it. I said, I heard you

293
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:08,600
missing with that, said Stephanie, Oh no, you heard that. Sorry,

294
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,440
I thought I was playing quietly. You were, she said smily.

295
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,559
But we don't live in a mansion, not yet, I

296
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,480
half laughed. Just wait until I get this album done.

297
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,639
Then you'll have to pick which mansion you want to

298
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:25,039
Julian Steph interrupted, Sorry, it's just trigotopy. I attributed my

299
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,360
weird muscle spasm to playing that chord for too long.

300
00:14:28,039 --> 00:14:29,960
My fellow guitar players can attest to the way our

301
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,879
fingers can freeze if we spend too long playing in

302
00:14:31,879 --> 00:14:34,440
one shape or position. I'd never had to happen to

303
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:36,679
my whole arm before, let alone both arms at the

304
00:14:36,679 --> 00:14:39,919
same time. By how else could I explain it? The

305
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:43,399
guitar took over my body. I shoved the ridiculous idea away.

306
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,879
We don't live in a mansion. Stephanie's words poured at

307
00:14:46,879 --> 00:14:48,639
my mind as I tried to fall asleep that night.

308
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,279
I thought she loved our little ranch house, our little

309
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:54,159
starter home. Her earler complained about being able to hear

310
00:14:54,159 --> 00:14:55,679
me because we didn't live in a mansion. Was the

311
00:14:55,679 --> 00:14:59,120
first sign of dissatisfaction I'd ever heard from her. Well, honey,

312
00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:01,360
if you wanted to live a mansion, maybe you could

313
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,080
have given me a little more space to pursue a

314
00:15:03,159 --> 00:15:05,200
music career. That might have brought us some reel income

315
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,759
instead of the piddly salary and occasional commissions I get

316
00:15:07,759 --> 00:15:11,519
being an electrician and graphic design. Aren't there twelve year

317
00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:13,879
olds with our phones who can do that job? This

318
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,120
train of tholcock through my mind while I lay next

319
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:19,039
to Stephanie's extra warm body in our queen bed. We

320
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,159
really needed a king, but buying a bed cost at

321
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,240
least one thousand dollars any more. Maybe if Steph didn't

322
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,200
have a semi weekly and taking habit to feed, we

323
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,360
could have saved up for a bigger bed. But it

324
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,240
wouldn't matter. In a few weeks anyway, she would give

325
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,279
birth to our screaming baby, and then one of us

326
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,320
would probably be stuck with him. Half the night, freeing

327
00:15:35,399 --> 00:15:37,639
up the whole bed for the other. Oh, didn't that

328
00:15:37,679 --> 00:15:42,039
sound like joyful relief? Stephanie started snoring. I couldn't take it.

329
00:15:42,639 --> 00:15:44,679
I left the bed aggressively enough to make her stir.

330
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,279
I'm not sure if she actually woke up, but she

331
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,799
quit snoring and let her like drift into my vacant spot. Fine,

332
00:15:50,879 --> 00:15:53,080
I thought, if you are on the bed, you can

333
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:57,240
have it all yours, honey and joy. I slept the

334
00:15:57,279 --> 00:15:59,840
rest of the night in the couch. The next morning,

335
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,639
Stephanie wogged me with a gentle shake. I opened my

336
00:16:02,679 --> 00:16:06,159
eyes and said, huh, you fell asleep on the couch. Silly?

337
00:16:06,279 --> 00:16:10,480
Stephanie said, Oh, I realized she was already asleep when

338
00:16:10,519 --> 00:16:13,120
I came into the room last night. She doesn't even know.

339
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,679
I got in bed, rubbing my eyes, I said, I

340
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:18,679
tried to fall asleep in the bed, but how to finish?

341
00:16:19,159 --> 00:16:21,399
I thought for the reasons I'd abandoned how the night before,

342
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,720
and realized they were all pretty stupid. Her mansion comment

343
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,960
had obviously been a passing remark, not a criticism. She

344
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,639
loved our house, That's why she helped to take such

345
00:16:30,679 --> 00:16:32,919
good care of it, and the heat of her body,

346
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,440
of course, was just a side effect of her pregnancy.

347
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,799
Couldn't I give her a little grace while she was

348
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,840
growing our child inside her. My gripe about our small

349
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,519
bed might have been valid, but not the way I

350
00:16:42,519 --> 00:16:45,559
blamed Stephanie for it. Stephanie filled in the silence before

351
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,679
I had a chance to complete my thoughts, saying, I'm

352
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:50,159
so sorry. Did I keep you up? My body is

353
00:16:50,279 --> 00:16:52,480
like to her temperature reculation right now, and I was

354
00:16:52,519 --> 00:16:54,360
worried it might bother you, so I tried to move

355
00:16:54,399 --> 00:16:56,440
over as much as I sat up and kissed her cheek.

356
00:16:57,159 --> 00:16:59,840
She stopped blothering and smiled at me. No I saw,

357
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,879
I said. You wouldn't know it, I guess, but I

358
00:17:02,919 --> 00:17:04,960
got super frustrated with you last night for a bunch

359
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,799
of random reasons I'm realizing now are pretty dumb. He

360
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:10,680
came out of nowhere. I feel way better now, though

361
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:15,440
she ruffled my hair. A good night's sleep can do that. Actually,

362
00:17:15,559 --> 00:17:17,119
I don't know how you could have slept well on

363
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:20,640
that old thing. I'm going to start the coffee, thank you,

364
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,839
I said with love. Stephanie could not partake in coffee

365
00:17:23,839 --> 00:17:26,920
thanks to the pregnancy. It's a rule she followed faithfully,

366
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,920
even though coffee is the only thing she loves more

367
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,920
than me. Shortly, Steph brought me a steaming mug of

368
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:35,279
my favorite light rose brewed to perfection. After I changed

369
00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,599
and went to work, leaving the house quiet for Stephanie

370
00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:40,200
to work. She had been working from home on enough

371
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,640
since the onset of her morning sickness, and now so

372
00:17:42,759 --> 00:17:45,039
close to her dutate, she opted to work remotely all

373
00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:48,759
the time driving stairs, excess noise and co worker's microwave

374
00:17:48,799 --> 00:17:51,319
veget al made her uncomfortable or sick, so commuting to

375
00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:54,440
the office was anti productive anyway. As I drove from

376
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,599
job to job throughout the day, the lovely feelings for

377
00:17:56,599 --> 00:17:59,039
Steph that I recovered windle, partially due to constant day

378
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:01,799
dreaming about picking up that old Mabel again. We would

379
00:18:01,839 --> 00:18:04,920
that strange magnetic cord take me, I predicted. The muse,

380
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:06,799
which had taken me over the previous day, would not

381
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,440
let me move on untilight and covered the wholesalm. A

382
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:11,279
part of me felt a little afraid of the task

383
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,319
and a muse and the guitar itself in a bizarre way,

384
00:18:15,839 --> 00:18:17,880
A pang of anxiety about the instrument glowed in my

385
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,200
brain like a dashboard warning light. But as long as

386
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,440
I didn't look down, I wouldn't have to acknowledge it.

387
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,839
I could just keep driving like everything was fine. Towards

388
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,839
the end of the day, Steph began spamming me with

389
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,319
texts about how exhausting her day had been, how frustrating

390
00:18:30,319 --> 00:18:32,839
her boss was. She told me in four different ways

391
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,160
how tired she was. She heavily implied she wanted a massage,

392
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,559
and was sure to include the disclaimer, don't expect any

393
00:18:38,599 --> 00:18:41,559
quipro ko e caveman, not trying to be mean, just

394
00:18:41,599 --> 00:18:44,720
don't have it in me. Really, as if I didn't

395
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,359
give her free massages all the time, what kind of

396
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,839
monster did she think? I was sorry? What kind of caveman?

397
00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:53,720
And I'm sorry, but if she thought her boss was frustrating,

398
00:18:53,759 --> 00:18:55,000
she should have met the widow who made it a

399
00:18:55,039 --> 00:18:56,920
weird point to tell me her husband did so well

400
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,519
she never had to work a day in her life,

401
00:18:58,599 --> 00:19:00,200
and then proceeded to yell at me every time time

402
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,400
one of my tools rose above the decibels from her TV,

403
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,839
Or how about the house I went into with force

404
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,480
at kids who were too and well for school? But

405
00:19:06,519 --> 00:19:08,799
apparently just find a hand over my shoulder and swipe

406
00:19:08,839 --> 00:19:12,039
the occasional stray screw from me. No, she couldn't imagine

407
00:19:12,039 --> 00:19:14,720
what real frustration felt like. And at the end of

408
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,240
the day, what did she have waiting for her? I

409
00:19:17,319 --> 00:19:20,079
must saw it in probably whatever obnoxious reality show she

410
00:19:20,079 --> 00:19:22,599
felt like watching, with whatever bland meal she could stomach.

411
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,839
And how about me? Oh yeah, I'd be giving her

412
00:19:25,839 --> 00:19:29,839
that massage. No, could pro Quael Caveman. I'm feeling my brain,

413
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,880
my unchallenged creative brain, render into a slim misto as

414
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,119
I sat on the couch, being there and being most

415
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,680
importantly quiet. Couldn't have anybody playing an old guitar that

416
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,400
didn't really keep a tune, could we? No? That would

417
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:45,039
be frustrating. Oh how awful? I realized I might not

418
00:19:45,079 --> 00:19:47,039
get another chance to play at guitar that day, because

419
00:19:47,079 --> 00:19:49,119
as soon as stuff decided it was her bedtime, it

420
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,799
would be quite time for me too, Unless I just

421
00:19:51,839 --> 00:19:54,880
said no. If she was really so tired, what would

422
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:57,200
she do get up and take the guitar from me?

423
00:19:57,799 --> 00:20:00,599
As I recount these thoughts to you, I feel guilty, creepy,

424
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,039
and weak. But this is where my mind went that

425
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:07,759
day I remember clearly, and unfortunately there is more. I

426
00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:09,799
realized Lefford have been much simpler with that Steph in

427
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,319
it at all. The woman was eight months pregnant of

428
00:20:12,319 --> 00:20:14,920
my baby. But if I'd registered eight short months earlier,

429
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,480
that I could have at the studio and the album

430
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,599
and the honest shot a real career making music. If

431
00:20:18,599 --> 00:20:20,799
I just left her behind to figure out her own life,

432
00:20:20,839 --> 00:20:23,240
I could have had it all. I still could. I

433
00:20:23,279 --> 00:20:27,680
surmised there was just one big obstacle, well too technically,

434
00:20:28,319 --> 00:20:30,279
but one was so small and defenseless and at that

435
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:34,039
point faceless, it wouldn't take much to I reached for

436
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:37,119
my water, and, quite distracted, grabbed my coffee mug instead.

437
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,920
I realized before actually sipping from the anti mug what

438
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,160
it was, but not before the cup was under my nose,

439
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,559
filling it with the rich scent of my favorite light rost.

440
00:20:45,279 --> 00:20:48,119
I remembered how Steph had brooded perfectly that morning. Even

441
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,799
though she could not drink a drop herself, she did

442
00:20:50,799 --> 00:20:53,640
that for me. She did so much for me, and

443
00:20:53,759 --> 00:20:56,200
all she wanted after a hard day was a quick massage,

444
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:57,960
and I bet she would give me a bit of

445
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,559
time to play the guitar if I told her I

446
00:20:59,599 --> 00:21:02,039
needed it, maybe that could be her quid pro quo.

447
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,240
I asked her when I got home if it would

448
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,759
be all right for me to duck into my office

449
00:21:05,759 --> 00:21:07,759
to relax a bit before we settled into the catch.

450
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,000
She said yes, that she felt like taking a nap. Anyway,

451
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,720
she said, if I was going to play the old guitar,

452
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:15,440
to just keep the door closed and try not to

453
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:19,079
get too loud. Sure, honey, I thought, haman try not

454
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:22,799
bang too loud. But that wasn't fair, wasn't she giving

455
00:21:22,839 --> 00:21:25,759
me exactly what I had asked for. In my office

456
00:21:25,839 --> 00:21:27,599
with that batt of Mabel in my hands, the muse

457
00:21:27,599 --> 00:21:30,440
took over me again. I felt it take control, but

458
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,599
it led me nowhere. Stephanie napped until I started getting

459
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:37,279
ready for bed. What time is it, she asked, emerging

460
00:21:37,319 --> 00:21:39,880
with her blue shirt wrinkled and her virtual meeting ready.

461
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:43,160
Her droo to housel mess just about ten, I told her.

462
00:21:43,839 --> 00:21:46,759
She said, ha, well, I guess I'll probably be up

463
00:21:46,759 --> 00:21:49,559
for a while. Well, any chance she want to stay

464
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,400
up and keep me company? Oh? I hesitated to answer.

465
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,240
I had another full day of work lioming, and besides,

466
00:21:55,519 --> 00:21:58,319
wasn't even sure how long I could stay awake. Wait,

467
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,960
Steph said, rubbing her face at the palm of one hand. Sorry,

468
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,599
that's not fair of me to ask. I'll heat something

469
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,480
up and watch one of my shoes. She stepped forward

470
00:22:07,519 --> 00:22:09,240
on her to be toast to kiss my cheek and sad,

471
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:12,319
I'll be fine. Good night. I woke up in the

472
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,160
middle of the night. My bleary vision reported a raise

473
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,480
form next to me in bed, so I assumed Stephanie

474
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,960
had joined me and closed my eyes again. I tried

475
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,519
to fall back asleep, but I heard faint conversation coming

476
00:22:22,519 --> 00:22:25,720
from somewhere in the house. Then, still muffled by the walls,

477
00:22:25,759 --> 00:22:28,880
I heard pumping music. This time. I prokeed myself up

478
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,440
on my elbows. As I opened my eyes and looked

479
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,759
closer at the shape next to me. It looked like

480
00:22:32,799 --> 00:22:35,240
Steph was laying under her blankets, But then did she

481
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:37,640
leave the TV on when she came to bed. I

482
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,039
reached across and tenderly touched the form beside me to

483
00:22:40,039 --> 00:22:41,880
see if it was actually my wife. But when my

484
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,599
hand should have touched soft flesh, I felt something hard

485
00:22:44,599 --> 00:22:47,519
and cold. Still only half awake, I pulled back the

486
00:22:47,519 --> 00:22:49,720
blankets and found not Stephanie but the old mable laying

487
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:52,400
in the bed next to me. Violently disturbed, I pushed

488
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:55,400
the guitarway it caught out off the bit strings, ringing

489
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,279
out in an eternal bellow of prudist I then crawled

490
00:22:58,319 --> 00:23:00,400
over the mattress off of the bed and wrapped my

491
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,119
hands around the mabel's neck, intending to swing the tormenting

492
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:05,039
instrument over my head and smash it on the floor.

493
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,640
When I tried to lift the guitar, it resisted with

494
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:11,799
impossible way. This incongruity stoked my anger. I pressed my

495
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,039
knee against the guitar's body and braced to snap the

496
00:23:14,079 --> 00:23:17,200
thing in half. Instead, the strangled whimper halted my rage

497
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,240
and made me look down at what lay between my hands.

498
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,359
The neck I held was crushing in my fingers was

499
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,240
not the guitar's but my wife's, and my knee was

500
00:23:25,279 --> 00:23:27,160
not on the body of the guitar, but rather pressing

501
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,279
into Stephanie's upper spine. Another second and I would have

502
00:23:30,319 --> 00:23:33,000
snapped her head back, killing both her and the baby.

503
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:35,400
I yelled, tumbling off of Stephanie and rolling her over

504
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,640
at the same time. I didn't think my weight had

505
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,960
been on her belly. Oh, but hers definitely had, and

506
00:23:41,079 --> 00:23:44,279
the fall had she landed belly first or rolled over

507
00:23:44,319 --> 00:23:48,880
while trying to recover Stephanie. I cried, Stephanie, I'm so sorry.

508
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,880
Do you think he's okay? Do you think the baby's

509
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,640
all right? Stephanie looked up at me with fearful eyes.

510
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,400
She raised her hand and I grabbed it, but she

511
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,960
pulled it away. I let it go, assuming she was

512
00:24:00,039 --> 00:24:02,119
afraid of me and not wanting to frighten her anymore.

513
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,480
But she raised one finger of the hand she pulled

514
00:24:04,519 --> 00:24:07,240
away and put it to her lips. Her eyes turned

515
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,000
from me to the open bedroom door. Now, instead of

516
00:24:10,039 --> 00:24:12,279
muffled talk and loud beats, I heard a gentler type

517
00:24:12,279 --> 00:24:16,119
of music, anarchistic guitar playing solo down the hall. I

518
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:18,039
still might have believed it was coming from the TV,

519
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,160
except the timber of the guitar was too specific and

520
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,799
the song too familiar. It was impossibly the very bee

521
00:24:23,799 --> 00:24:26,519
augmented seventh chord picked exactly the way I'd been stuck

522
00:24:26,559 --> 00:24:29,480
doing since they brought the Maybell home an Era. Still,

523
00:24:29,559 --> 00:24:31,680
each high octave was slightly flat, just like in the

524
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,680
Maybell with the dimes stuck in the tuning gear. Stay here,

525
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,440
I told Stephanie. If I yelled, locked the door and

526
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,519
call the police. White eyed and mute, Stephanie nodded. I

527
00:24:41,559 --> 00:24:44,440
crept into the hallway, hands numb, feet tingling, skin crawly.

528
00:24:45,079 --> 00:24:47,720
The haunting music continued to be played, and standing in

529
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:49,960
the hall, I could confirm it was coming from my office,

530
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:51,960
where the old guitar should have been hanging silently in

531
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:55,079
the wall. The pattern ringing through the walls sounded SOBANSI

532
00:24:55,319 --> 00:24:57,119
so upbeat, But in the dead of night, when no

533
00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:59,319
one else should have been inside the house, it sounded

534
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:02,599
disjointed and orienting. I felt like I was in somebody

535
00:25:02,599 --> 00:25:05,960
else's house, sneaking toward another man's office. That woman I

536
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,920
had left behind in the floor, the one whose neck

537
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,599
I had almost snapped. She was another man's wife. You

538
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,680
may guess, as I did, that those feelings were a

539
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:16,240
protected side effect of my terror. But unfortunately there was

540
00:25:16,279 --> 00:25:18,799
another explanation for them, which I discovered when siding past

541
00:25:18,799 --> 00:25:22,519
the bathroom. The bathroom door was open. A nightlight glowed

542
00:25:22,519 --> 00:25:24,960
from the outlet next to the sink. I could see

543
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,759
the mirror above the sink from the hallway and as

544
00:25:26,759 --> 00:25:28,839
I moved into its reflection, I saw a man I

545
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,799
did not recognize. A mummy of a man stared back

546
00:25:31,839 --> 00:25:34,359
at me from the mirror. Benson outBut is someone I

547
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,880
would describe as an old man. But if Benson was old,

548
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,720
the man I saw in my reflection was ancient. His

549
00:25:39,759 --> 00:25:42,920
eyebrows curls and long strands above his yellowed, squinting eyes.

550
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,759
His only other hair wrapped around the side and back

551
00:25:45,799 --> 00:25:48,000
of his head. He had a big nose and small

552
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,559
mouth pinched in a tight grimace, which did not correspond

553
00:25:50,599 --> 00:25:54,039
with my own trembling jaw. The man's scrawny body was unclothed,

554
00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:56,160
his skin hanging often loose clumps from the backs of

555
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,119
his arms and the sides of his round belly. Thankfully,

556
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,880
the counter covered him from the waist down. Behind the

557
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,319
next door down the hall, those haunting notes continued to play,

558
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,559
ringing with characteristic distance. My eyes were locked in the

559
00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:09,279
eyes in the mirror, and when my lip potted to

560
00:26:09,279 --> 00:26:11,359
sat down a trembling breath, the lips in the mirror

561
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:14,160
potted in a toothless grin. I tore from the bathroom,

562
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,480
rejecting stealth as I ran the last few steps in

563
00:26:16,519 --> 00:26:19,519
my office. I threw open the door, turned on the light,

564
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,599
and found everything in perfect order. The mabel rested in

565
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,359
the wall, strings dead and still, but I knew what

566
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:29,119
I had heard. I lifted it off as hanger. This time,

567
00:26:29,319 --> 00:26:31,680
no additional weight prevented me from swinging it overhead and

568
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:34,640
smashing it on the ground. The carpet absorbed too much

569
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,640
of the first blow, so I slammed the broad back

570
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,240
of the guitar against the corner of my desk. The

571
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:42,759
brittle wood splintered and the strings resonated loudly. Then I

572
00:26:42,799 --> 00:26:45,400
swung the flimsy remnants of the antique instrument down again.

573
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,960
This time the carpet could not prevent it from splintering apart.

574
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:52,279
The bridge broke off. The strings made an awful greeting

575
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:54,640
sound as they rubbed against one another in a disorderly

576
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:57,440
twist of metal and ward. The next snapped away from

577
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,000
the jagged remains of the body. I set the head

578
00:27:00,079 --> 00:27:01,880
stuck against the floor, put my foot in the back

579
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:03,720
of it, and leveraged the neck until the head stock

580
00:27:03,759 --> 00:27:06,319
snaped behind the top of the fret board. The fretboard

581
00:27:06,319 --> 00:27:08,599
itself popped off in two chunks, one of which flapped

582
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,359
upward and hit me in the cheek. I squinted against

583
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,480
the impact, and when I opened my eyes, I was

584
00:27:13,559 --> 00:27:16,200
laying in bed again. I looked around the dark bedroom,

585
00:27:16,279 --> 00:27:18,000
checking the space on the bed beside me by lifting

586
00:27:18,039 --> 00:27:21,839
up the covers. It was empty. I listened and heard faint,

587
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,960
muffled dialog mixed with subtle music, but not a single guitar. Quietly,

588
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,599
I left the bedroom and went to my office. I

589
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:31,279
saw myself in my reflection as I passed the bathroom mirror.

590
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,000
In my office, the Mabel hung still and silad on

591
00:27:34,039 --> 00:27:36,880
the wall. I removed it, slipped it into a soft case,

592
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,319
and carried it out of the room. Chilian Steph asked

593
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:42,759
dazily as I walked through the living room getar case

594
00:27:42,799 --> 00:27:45,359
in hand, waking her from a hazy half sleep. The

595
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,160
TV glow flashlight crossed her face, making us squeeze her

596
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,680
eyes shut before she could fully take me in. I'll

597
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,240
be right back, I said, just gonna put this in

598
00:27:53,279 --> 00:27:57,880
the car for tomorrow. Nah, She asked, what time is it.

599
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:01,519
I said, I don't know. I'll explain later, but I've

600
00:28:01,519 --> 00:28:03,599
got to get this thing out of the house in

601
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,720
the morning. I'm taking it back to Albert's, and if

602
00:28:05,759 --> 00:28:07,599
Benny won't take it back, I'll beat him over the

603
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,079
head with it. True to my word, I drove to

604
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:11,960
Albert's with the Mabel in my trunk. The next morning,

605
00:28:12,599 --> 00:28:14,240
I called and sick to work, so I wouldn't have

606
00:28:14,279 --> 00:28:15,720
to wait until the end of the day to get

607
00:28:15,799 --> 00:28:18,160
rid of it. The doubo rang as I walked into

608
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,640
the shop. I hoped to see Dorry at the counter.

609
00:28:21,279 --> 00:28:23,200
I thought if I could return the guitar through her,

610
00:28:23,279 --> 00:28:25,240
I might be able to avoid getting too detailed about

611
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,240
my reasoning. I concocted a believable fight between Steph and

612
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:31,039
I over space, during which I hypothetically admitted to having

613
00:28:31,079 --> 00:28:34,000
too many instruments and agreed to downsize. I would tell

614
00:28:34,039 --> 00:28:36,039
Dorry I didn't want Benny's dad's guitar to be a

615
00:28:36,039 --> 00:28:38,240
sore pointer twins deaf and I, because it would spoil

616
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,559
the joy of playing it. The basic fact that the

617
00:28:40,599 --> 00:28:42,799
guitar could bring me no draw trap with the true story,

618
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,279
at least, however, Benny himself sat at the counter that morning,

619
00:28:46,319 --> 00:28:48,279
thick reading glasses on the edge of his nose and

620
00:28:48,319 --> 00:28:51,559
a good old fashioned newspaper between his hands. He looked

621
00:28:51,599 --> 00:28:53,559
up when he heard the bell, saw me and smiled.

622
00:28:54,079 --> 00:28:55,839
Then he saw the guitar case in my hand, and

623
00:28:55,880 --> 00:29:00,000
his smile instantly faded. Oh, he said, folding the newspaper

624
00:29:00,079 --> 00:29:02,599
and setting it on the counter. He forced a portion

625
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:05,519
of his welcoming smile back on having some trouble with

626
00:29:05,559 --> 00:29:08,160
the guitar? Are you? Is it that mean old be string?

627
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:12,079
I tell you the tuner on that bad boy's shot too, Annie,

628
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,680
I interrupted, I have to ask you to take this back.

629
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:19,160
Well now, he said, cooling. You're a good customer, and

630
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,720
I consider you a friend, Julian, but the rules apply

631
00:29:21,839 --> 00:29:25,279
to everybody. I can't make an exception for you. I'd

632
00:29:25,279 --> 00:29:27,599
have to do it for everybody. What do you mean,

633
00:29:28,279 --> 00:29:32,559
I asked, All sales are final, no returns or exchanges.

634
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,799
Come on, Benny, this wasn't a business transaction, was it,

635
00:29:36,599 --> 00:29:40,400
was it, Bennie asked back, looking hurt. Now, of course,

636
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:44,880
I thought, internally smacking myself. It was personal, very personal

637
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,640
to him. We're not talking about some vas, he sold me.

638
00:29:48,279 --> 00:29:51,359
We're talking about a family errum. Look, Benny, I said,

639
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,400
I don't want the money back. I just want to

640
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:56,759
give this back so you can find I was going

641
00:29:56,799 --> 00:29:59,400
to say another home for it, but despise that possibility

642
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,000
so much. I can changed it to something else to

643
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,400
do with it. I really enjoy getting to play it,

644
00:30:03,519 --> 00:30:05,279
but I just don't have the space for it right now.

645
00:30:05,799 --> 00:30:07,440
It's just not the right time with the baby. And

646
00:30:08,079 --> 00:30:09,960
Benny's eyes widened and he looked up at me with

647
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,240
his neck bent slightly, like he was trying to examine

648
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:15,200
something under the swoop of my hair. His eyes, I saw,

649
00:30:15,319 --> 00:30:19,359
were a little wet. Stephanie, he said, breathfully, how's Stephanie

650
00:30:19,359 --> 00:30:22,799
and the baby? Are they all right? Sure she's fine,

651
00:30:22,799 --> 00:30:26,000
I answered. Benson closed his eyes with relief, squeezing a

652
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,279
small tear from the corner of the left one. He

653
00:30:28,319 --> 00:30:30,839
parted his lips slightly before he opened his eyes and said,

654
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,920
I'll take it back. I'll thank you seriously. It means

655
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:36,279
so much that you offered it to me in the

656
00:30:36,319 --> 00:30:38,920
first place, and I really did. How much did you

657
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:43,079
pay for it? He cut in off. Fifty bucks, I

658
00:30:43,119 --> 00:30:45,759
said him burst. He opened the till and handed me

659
00:30:45,759 --> 00:30:49,319
a crisp fifty. I unzipped the guitar, castened as ceremoniously

660
00:30:49,319 --> 00:30:52,359
as I could, handed the guitar over the counter, they're

661
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:56,359
really okay, Benson asked. He wasn't looking at me, but

662
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:58,400
holding the guitar in his lap and studying it with

663
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:01,200
distant vision. I thought I understood why he was asking,

664
00:31:01,279 --> 00:31:03,559
but didn't dare bring up the malevolent influence of the guitar.

665
00:31:04,039 --> 00:31:07,279
Lest I learned he was just making conversation. Yes, Stephanie

666
00:31:07,319 --> 00:31:08,880
had a bit of a weird night, but I think

667
00:31:09,079 --> 00:31:12,359
weird in what way? Benson asked a notch above curiously.

668
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,759
I told him about stuff's late nap and up to

669
00:31:14,799 --> 00:31:17,599
an old TV binge. This seemed to appease him, and

670
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:19,839
I made one final apology about the guitar before bidding

671
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:21,480
him farewell with the lie that I needed to get

672
00:31:21,519 --> 00:31:24,359
to work. Thenson turned a guitar over and propped it

673
00:31:24,359 --> 00:31:26,720
on his knee. I heard him tune up the bee

674
00:31:26,759 --> 00:31:29,319
string to match the other's pitchers. I walked away. I

675
00:31:29,359 --> 00:31:31,559
watched him over my shoulder as I went, and yes,

676
00:31:31,799 --> 00:31:33,720
Old Benny took a coin from the till and wasted

677
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,319
it into the tuning gear. By this time I was

678
00:31:36,359 --> 00:31:38,720
directly in front of the door. I put my hand

679
00:31:38,759 --> 00:31:40,640
on the pushbar just as Benson began to pluck at

680
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:43,279
a bee of men at seventh the bee augmented seventh

681
00:31:43,319 --> 00:31:45,839
card that I had stumbled on. He was picking the

682
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:50,039
exact same pattern I had. I froze. Benson stopped playing.

683
00:31:50,599 --> 00:31:54,279
What is that? I asked, turning around. Oh, just the

684
00:31:54,279 --> 00:31:56,240
beginning of an old palm my father used to play

685
00:31:56,240 --> 00:32:00,519
long ago, Benson replied, Benson, be straight with me. I've

686
00:32:00,559 --> 00:32:02,359
had that guitar in my house for two days and

687
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:05,359
two nights. They've been two of the strangest of my life,

688
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:08,359
and I doubt you're surprised to hear that. Is it dangerous?

689
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:11,519
Whatever's in there? Growing angrier? What could it have done

690
00:32:11,519 --> 00:32:14,160
to my family? Ha? What did you send home with me?

691
00:32:14,839 --> 00:32:17,440
Benson refused to look at me. He gently slid the

692
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,279
guitar back on to his legs, holding it like a

693
00:32:19,359 --> 00:32:22,079
lapse steel. He studied the dull patches and crucks in

694
00:32:22,119 --> 00:32:24,640
the finish for a few quiet seconds, then finally said,

695
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:26,839
it's hard to believe it's really him, but I think

696
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,400
it's my father that haunts this whole thing. Could you

697
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,160
believe it your own dad, or at least a part

698
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,680
of him trapped in this thin wood? I saw him,

699
00:32:34,759 --> 00:32:37,680
I said, I saw him in the mirror. It was

700
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:39,240
a dream, but I have a feeling it might have

701
00:32:39,279 --> 00:32:42,720
also been more than that. Benson said, I'm sorry, Julian,

702
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:46,160
truly I am. I took the easy way out myself

703
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:48,799
and put your wife and do Stephanie know she knows

704
00:32:48,799 --> 00:32:50,599
I've been a bit of a jerk the last couple days.

705
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:53,519
But that's about it, I said, In hindsight, I think

706
00:32:53,519 --> 00:32:55,079
I did a pretty good job of hiding the dark

707
00:32:55,119 --> 00:32:59,720
thoughts from her. You're strong, Benson replied, that's good. You'll

708
00:32:59,759 --> 00:33:03,960
be a good father, Julian. I mean that better then well,

709
00:33:04,119 --> 00:33:07,440
better than any I've ever known, including myself, that's for sure.

710
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,400
Still angry, I said, I hope so, and turned to

711
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,079
leave again. But then a realization hit me, as if

712
00:33:13,079 --> 00:33:14,680
I had walked into the door and started read just

713
00:33:14,759 --> 00:33:18,440
as hard. I once more turn around. Benson was looking

714
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,480
at me as if expecting a question. I asked next,

715
00:33:21,119 --> 00:33:24,759
he already looked guilty, ashamed, and anxious. Thenny I asked,

716
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:28,039
where is Dory really? They ducked Dory Albert's body out

717
00:33:28,039 --> 00:33:30,599
from a hole under Benson's shed. He had bashed a

718
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:32,599
scallon with a sony stare or speak of the day

719
00:33:32,599 --> 00:33:36,440
before selling me. The Mabel journalists crafting curiosity pieces dug

720
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:40,200
into Benson's past. Their discoverers made local news, then national.

721
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,279
The reason the story made big headlines was Benson's father,

722
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,839
Elijah Albert. If not for the news coverage, I never

723
00:33:46,839 --> 00:33:49,160
would have learned Benson's father had brutally mounted his mother

724
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,640
and apparently screamed at his sentencing hearing. I broke her

725
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,079
the way all bad women should be broken. She got

726
00:33:54,079 --> 00:33:55,599
what was coming to her, and I'd give it to

727
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:59,319
her again, Stephanie. And as baby boy Rory Devil's Weeks

728
00:33:59,359 --> 00:34:01,400
was born. The same somebody broke into the out of

729
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,480
business Albert Antiaks and stole dozens of valuable items, which

730
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:07,279
included a nineteen thirty slinger and Mabel parlor guitar with

731
00:34:07,319 --> 00:34:09,960
a loose B string tune. As if this writing, the

732
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,360
criminal or criminals responsible have not been identified or apprehended.

733
00:34:14,079 --> 00:34:16,719
I've searched online, but the burglars are either biding their

734
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,840
time until the heat wear is off, or they offloaded

735
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:21,679
their take through more private channels. Every time I see

736
00:34:21,679 --> 00:34:23,719
a new story about a husband or boy friend murdering

737
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,360
their wife, girlfriend, or entire family, I try to find

738
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,800
out if they played guitar, and if they did, whether

739
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,719
they might have recently purchased an antique Mabel. I haven't

740
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:33,920
tracked the guitar down. I hope somebody said the sense

741
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:37,320
to destroy it. By now. I wish I had, although

742
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,880
I'm not entirely sure I would have been able. Perhaps

743
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:42,400
it's just setting in storage somewhere, molding and warping and

744
00:34:42,519 --> 00:34:45,480
rotting away. I hope it becomes useless before another person

745
00:34:45,519 --> 00:34:47,559
has a chance to pick it up. But if they do,

746
00:34:47,639 --> 00:34:49,840
I bet I know just what they'll play. I may

747
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:51,880
be hoping for too many things, but if I can

748
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,800
be allowed one more, I hope nobody else is a

749
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:57,360
run to hear that haunting some and that is the end.

750
00:34:57,920 --> 00:34:59,599
Thank you for listening, and I will see you in

751
00:34:59,599 --> 00:35:08,159
the next one. One