Speaker 1: This is section twenty five of The Gilded Age. This
Speaker 1: LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age,
Speaker 1: A Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and C. D. Warner,
Speaker 1: Chapter twenty five. Washington sent grand good news to Colonel
Speaker 1: Sellers that night. To Louise, he wrote, it is beautiful
Speaker 1: to hear him talk when his heart is full of
Speaker 1: thankfulness for some manifestation of the divine favor. You shall
Speaker 1: know him some day, my Louise, and knowing him, you
Speaker 1: will honor him as I do. Harry wrote, I pulled
Speaker 1: it through, Colonel, but it was a tough job. There
Speaker 1: is no question about that. There was not a friend
Speaker 1: to the measure in the House Committee when I began,
Speaker 1: and not a friend in the Senate Committee except Old
Speaker 1: Dill himself, But they were all fixed for a majority
Speaker 1: report when I hauled off my forces. Everybody here says,
Speaker 1: you can't get a thing like this through Congress without
Speaker 1: buying committees for straight out cash on delivery. But I
Speaker 1: think I've taught them a thing or two, if I
Speaker 1: could only make them believe it. When I tell the
Speaker 1: old Residenters that this thing went through without buying a
Speaker 1: vote or making a promise. They say that's rather too thin.
Speaker 1: And when I say thin or not thin, it's a
Speaker 1: fact anyway, they say, come now, but do you really
Speaker 1: believe that? And when I say I don't believe anything
Speaker 1: about it, I know it, they smile and say, well,
Speaker 1: you are pretty innocent or pretty blind, one or the other.
Speaker 1: There's no getting round that. Why they really do believe
Speaker 1: that votes have been bought? They do, indeed, but let
Speaker 1: them keep on thinking. So I have found out that
Speaker 1: if a man knows how to talk to women, and
Speaker 1: has a little gift in the way of argument with men,
Speaker 1: he can afford to play for an appropriation against a
Speaker 1: money bag and give the money bag odds in the game.
Speaker 1: We've raked in two hundred thousand dollars of Uncle Sam's money.
Speaker 1: Say what they will, and there is more. So this
Speaker 1: came from when we wanted, and I rather fancy I
Speaker 1: am the person that can go in and occupy it too.
Speaker 1: If I do say it myself, that shouldn't. Perhaps I'll
Speaker 1: be with you within a week. Scare up all the
Speaker 1: men you can and put them to work at once.
Speaker 1: When I get there, I propose to make things hum
Speaker 1: The great news lifted sellers into the clouds. He went
Speaker 1: to work on the instant. He flew hither and thither,
Speaker 1: making contracts, engaging men, and steeping his soul in the
Speaker 1: ecstasies of business. He was the happiest man in Missouri,
Speaker 1: and Louise was the happiest woman. For presently came a
Speaker 1: letter from Washington which said, rejoice with me, for the
Speaker 1: long agony is over. We have waited patiently and faithfully
Speaker 1: all these years, and now at last the reward is
Speaker 1: at hand. A man is to pay our family forty
Speaker 1: thousand dollars for the Tennessee land. It is but a
Speaker 1: little sum compared to what we could get by waiting.
Speaker 1: But I do so long to say, see the day
Speaker 1: when I can call you my own that I have
Speaker 1: said to myself, better take this and enjoy life in
Speaker 1: a humble way, than wear out our best days in
Speaker 1: this miserable separation. Besides, I can put this money into
Speaker 1: operations here that will increase it a hundredfold, yes, a thousandfold,
Speaker 1: in a few months. The air is full of such chances,
Speaker 1: and I know our family would consent in a moment
Speaker 1: that I should put in their shares with mine. Without
Speaker 1: a doubt, we shall be worth half a million dollars
Speaker 1: in a year from this time. I put it at
Speaker 1: the very lowest figure, because it is always best to
Speaker 1: be on the safe side. Half a million at the
Speaker 1: very lowest calculation. And then your father will give his
Speaker 1: consent and we can marry at last. Oh, that will
Speaker 1: be a glorious day. Tell our friends the good news.
Speaker 1: I want all to share it. And she did tell
Speaker 1: her father and mother, but they said, let it be
Speaker 1: kept still for the present. A careful father also told
Speaker 1: her to write Washington, and war earned him not to
Speaker 1: speculate with the money, but to wait a little and
Speaker 1: advise with one or two wise old heads. She did this,
Speaker 1: and she managed to keep the good news to herself,
Speaker 1: though it would seem that the most careless observer might
Speaker 1: have seen, by her springing step and her radiant countenance,
Speaker 1: that some fine piece of good fortune had descended upon her.
Speaker 1: Harry joined the Colonel at Stone's Landing, and that dead
Speaker 1: place sprang into sudden life. A swarm of men were
Speaker 1: hard at work, and a dull air was filled with
Speaker 1: a cheery music of labor. Harry had been constituted engineer
Speaker 1: in general, and he threw the full strength of his
Speaker 1: powers into his work. He moved among his hirelings like
Speaker 1: a king. Authority seemed to invest him with a new splendor.
Speaker 1: Colonel Sellers, as General Superintendent of a great public enterprise,
Speaker 1: was all that a mere human being could be and more.
Speaker 1: These two grandees went at their imposing improvement with the
Speaker 1: air of men who had been charged with the work
Speaker 1: of altering the foundations of the globe. They turned their
Speaker 1: first attention to straightening the river just above the landing,
Speaker 1: where it made a deep bend, and where the maps
Speaker 1: and plans showed that the process of straightening would not
Speaker 1: only shorten distance but increase the fall. They started a
Speaker 1: cut off canal across the peninsula formed by the bend,
Speaker 1: and such another tearing up of the earth and sloping
Speaker 1: around in the mud. As followed the order to the
Speaker 1: men had never been seen in that region before. There
Speaker 1: was such a panic among the turtles that at the
Speaker 1: end of six hours there was not one to be
Speaker 1: found within three miles of stones landing. They took the
Speaker 1: young and the aged, the decrepid and the sick upon
Speaker 1: their backs, and left for tide water in disorderly procession.
Speaker 1: The tadpoles following and the bullfrogs bringing up the rear.
Speaker 1: Saturday night came, but the men were obliged to wait
Speaker 1: because the appropriation had not come. Harry said he had
Speaker 1: written to hurry up the money and it would be
Speaker 1: along presently. So the work continued. On Monday. Stone's landing
Speaker 1: was making quite a stir in the vicinity by this time.
Speaker 1: Sellers threw a lot or two on the market as
Speaker 1: a feeler, and they sold well. He reclosed his family,
Speaker 1: laid in a good stock of provisions, and still had
Speaker 1: money left. He started a bank account in a small way,
Speaker 1: and mentioned the deposit casually to friends and to strangers too,
Speaker 1: to everybody in fact, but not as a new thing.
Speaker 1: On the contrary, as a matter of life long standing,
Speaker 1: he could not keep from buying trifles every day that
Speaker 1: were not wholly necessary. It was such a gaudy thing
Speaker 1: to get out his bank book and draw a check
Speaker 1: instead of using his old customary formula charge it. Harry
Speaker 1: sold a lot or two also, and had a dinner
Speaker 1: party or two at Hawkeye, and a general good time
Speaker 1: with the money. Both men held on pretty strenuously for
Speaker 1: the coming big prices. However, at the end of a
Speaker 1: month things were looking bad. Harry had besieged the New
Speaker 1: York headquarters of the Columbus River Slackwater Navigation Company with demands,
Speaker 1: then commands, and finally appeals, but to no purpose. The
Speaker 1: appropriation did not come. The letters were not even answered.
Speaker 1: The workmen were clamorous. Now the Colonel and Harry retired
Speaker 1: to consult. What's to be done, said the colonel, hanged,
Speaker 1: if I know, companies say anything? Not a word you
Speaker 1: telegraphed yesterday, Yes, and the day before too. No answer,
Speaker 1: none confound them. Then there was a long pause. Finally
Speaker 1: both spoke at once. I've got it. I've got it.
Speaker 1: What's yours? Said Harry. Give the boys thirty day orders
Speaker 1: on the company for the back pay. That's it, that's
Speaker 1: my own idea to a dot. But then, but then, yes,
Speaker 1: I know, said the colonel. I know. So they can't
Speaker 1: wait for the orders to go to New York and
Speaker 1: be cashed. But what's the reason they can't get them
Speaker 1: discounted in Hawkeye? Of course they can. That solves the difficulty.
Speaker 1: Everybody knows the appropriation's been made and the company's perfectly good.
Speaker 1: So the orders were given and the man appeased, though
Speaker 1: they grumbled a little at first. The orders went well
Speaker 1: enough for groceries and such things at a fair discount,
Speaker 1: and the work danced along gaily for a time. Two
Speaker 1: or three purchasers put up frame houses at the landing
Speaker 1: and moved in, And of course, a far sighted but
Speaker 1: easy going journeyman printer wandered along and started the Napoleon
Speaker 1: Weekly Telegraph and Literary Repository, a paper with a Latin
Speaker 1: motto from the Unabridged Dictionary and plenty of fat conversational
Speaker 1: tales and double leaded poetry, all for two dollars a year,
Speaker 1: strictly in advance. Of course, the merchants forwarded the orders
Speaker 1: at once to New York and never heard of them again.
Speaker 1: At the end of some weeks, Harry's orders were a
Speaker 1: drug in the market. Nobody would take them at any
Speaker 1: discount whatever. The second month closed with a riot. Sellars
Speaker 1: was absent at the time, and Harry began an active
Speaker 1: absence himself, with the mob at his heels. But being
Speaker 1: on horseback, he had the advantage. He did not tarry
Speaker 1: in Hawkeye, but went on, thus missing several appointments with creditors.
Speaker 1: He was far on his flight eastward and well out
Speaker 1: of danger. When the next morning dawned, he telegraphed the
Speaker 1: colonel to go down and quiet the laborers. He was
Speaker 1: bound east for money. Everything would be right in a week.
Speaker 1: Tell the men so, tell them to rely on him
Speaker 1: and not be afraid. Sellers found the mob quiet enough
Speaker 1: when he reached the landing. They had gutted the navigation office,
Speaker 1: then piled the beautiful engraved stock books and things in
Speaker 1: the middle of the floor and enjoyed the bonfire while
Speaker 1: it lasted. They had a liking for the colonel, but
Speaker 1: still they had some idea of hanging him as a
Speaker 1: sort of makeshift that might answer after a fashion, in
Speaker 1: place of more satisfactory game. But they made the mistake
Speaker 1: of waiting to hear what he had to say first.
Speaker 1: Within fifteen minutes, his tongue had done its work, and
Speaker 1: they were all rich men. He gave every one of
Speaker 1: them a lot in the suburbs of the city of
Speaker 1: Stones Landing, within a mile and a half of the
Speaker 1: future post office and railway station, and they promised to
Speaker 1: resume work as soon as Harry got east and started
Speaker 1: the money along. Now things were blooming and pleasant again,
Speaker 1: but the men had no money. And nothing to live on.
Speaker 1: The colonel divided with them the money he still had
Speaker 1: in bank, an act which had nothing surprising about it,
Speaker 1: because he was generally ready to divide whatever he had
Speaker 1: with anybody that wanted it. And it was owing to
Speaker 1: this very trait that his family spent their days in poverty,
Speaker 1: and at times were pinched with famine. When the men's
Speaker 1: minds had cooled and Sellers was gone, they hated themselves
Speaker 1: for letting him beguile them with fine speeches, but it
Speaker 1: was too late now. They agreed to hang him another time,
Speaker 1: such time as providence should appoint. End of Chapter twenty
Speaker 1: five