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<v Speaker 1>This is section twenty five of The Gilded Age. This

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<v Speaker 1>LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age,

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<v Speaker 1>A Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and C. D. Warner,

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<v Speaker 1>Chapter twenty five. Washington sent grand good news to Colonel

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<v Speaker 1>Sellers that night. To Louise, he wrote, it is beautiful

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<v Speaker 1>to hear him talk when his heart is full of

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<v Speaker 1>thankfulness for some manifestation of the divine favor. You shall

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<v Speaker 1>know him some day, my Louise, and knowing him, you

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<v Speaker 1>will honor him as I do. Harry wrote, I pulled

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<v Speaker 1>it through, Colonel, but it was a tough job. There

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<v Speaker 1>is no question about that. There was not a friend

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<v Speaker 1>to the measure in the House Committee when I began,

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<v Speaker 1>and not a friend in the Senate Committee except Old

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<v Speaker 1>Dill himself, But they were all fixed for a majority

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<v Speaker 1>report when I hauled off my forces. Everybody here says,

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<v Speaker 1>you can't get a thing like this through Congress without

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<v Speaker 1>buying committees for straight out cash on delivery. But I

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<v Speaker 1>think I've taught them a thing or two, if I

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<v Speaker 1>could only make them believe it. When I tell the

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<v Speaker 1>old Residenters that this thing went through without buying a

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<v Speaker 1>vote or making a promise. They say that's rather too thin.

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<v Speaker 1>And when I say thin or not thin, it's a

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<v Speaker 1>fact anyway, they say, come now, but do you really

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<v Speaker 1>believe that? And when I say I don't believe anything

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<v Speaker 1>about it, I know it, they smile and say, well,

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<v Speaker 1>you are pretty innocent or pretty blind, one or the other.

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<v Speaker 1>There's no getting round that. Why they really do believe

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<v Speaker 1>that votes have been bought? They do, indeed, but let

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<v Speaker 1>them keep on thinking. So I have found out that

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<v Speaker 1>if a man knows how to talk to women, and

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<v Speaker 1>has a little gift in the way of argument with men,

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<v Speaker 1>he can afford to play for an appropriation against a

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<v Speaker 1>money bag and give the money bag odds in the game.

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<v Speaker 1>We've raked in two hundred thousand dollars of Uncle Sam's money.

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<v Speaker 1>Say what they will, and there is more. So this

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<v Speaker 1>came from when we wanted, and I rather fancy I

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<v Speaker 1>am the person that can go in and occupy it too.

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<v Speaker 1>If I do say it myself, that shouldn't. Perhaps I'll

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<v Speaker 1>be with you within a week. Scare up all the

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<v Speaker 1>men you can and put them to work at once.

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<v Speaker 1>When I get there, I propose to make things hum

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<v Speaker 1>The great news lifted sellers into the clouds. He went

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<v Speaker 1>to work on the instant. He flew hither and thither,

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<v Speaker 1>making contracts, engaging men, and steeping his soul in the

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<v Speaker 1>ecstasies of business. He was the happiest man in Missouri,

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<v Speaker 1>and Louise was the happiest woman. For presently came a

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<v Speaker 1>letter from Washington which said, rejoice with me, for the

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<v Speaker 1>long agony is over. We have waited patiently and faithfully

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<v Speaker 1>all these years, and now at last the reward is

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<v Speaker 1>at hand. A man is to pay our family forty

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<v Speaker 1>thousand dollars for the Tennessee land. It is but a

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<v Speaker 1>little sum compared to what we could get by waiting.

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<v Speaker 1>But I do so long to say, see the day

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<v Speaker 1>when I can call you my own that I have

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<v Speaker 1>said to myself, better take this and enjoy life in

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<v Speaker 1>a humble way, than wear out our best days in

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<v Speaker 1>this miserable separation. Besides, I can put this money into

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<v Speaker 1>operations here that will increase it a hundredfold, yes, a thousandfold,

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<v Speaker 1>in a few months. The air is full of such chances,

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<v Speaker 1>and I know our family would consent in a moment

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<v Speaker 1>that I should put in their shares with mine. Without

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<v Speaker 1>a doubt, we shall be worth half a million dollars

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<v Speaker 1>in a year from this time. I put it at

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<v Speaker 1>the very lowest figure, because it is always best to

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<v Speaker 1>be on the safe side. Half a million at the

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<v Speaker 1>very lowest calculation. And then your father will give his

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<v Speaker 1>consent and we can marry at last. Oh, that will

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<v Speaker 1>be a glorious day. Tell our friends the good news.

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<v Speaker 1>I want all to share it. And she did tell

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<v Speaker 1>her father and mother, but they said, let it be

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<v Speaker 1>kept still for the present. A careful father also told

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<v Speaker 1>her to write Washington, and war earned him not to

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<v Speaker 1>speculate with the money, but to wait a little and

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<v Speaker 1>advise with one or two wise old heads. She did this,

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<v Speaker 1>and she managed to keep the good news to herself,

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<v Speaker 1>though it would seem that the most careless observer might

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<v Speaker 1>have seen, by her springing step and her radiant countenance,

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<v Speaker 1>that some fine piece of good fortune had descended upon her.

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<v Speaker 1>Harry joined the Colonel at Stone's Landing, and that dead

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<v Speaker 1>place sprang into sudden life. A swarm of men were

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<v Speaker 1>hard at work, and a dull air was filled with

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<v Speaker 1>a cheery music of labor. Harry had been constituted engineer

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<v Speaker 1>in general, and he threw the full strength of his

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<v Speaker 1>powers into his work. He moved among his hirelings like

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<v Speaker 1>a king. Authority seemed to invest him with a new splendor.

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<v Speaker 1>Colonel Sellers, as General Superintendent of a great public enterprise,

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<v Speaker 1>was all that a mere human being could be and more.

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<v Speaker 1>These two grandees went at their imposing improvement with the

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<v Speaker 1>air of men who had been charged with the work

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<v Speaker 1>of altering the foundations of the globe. They turned their

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<v Speaker 1>first attention to straightening the river just above the landing,

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<v Speaker 1>where it made a deep bend, and where the maps

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<v Speaker 1>and plans showed that the process of straightening would not

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<v Speaker 1>only shorten distance but increase the fall. They started a

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<v Speaker 1>cut off canal across the peninsula formed by the bend,

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<v Speaker 1>and such another tearing up of the earth and sloping

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<v Speaker 1>around in the mud. As followed the order to the

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<v Speaker 1>men had never been seen in that region before. There

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<v Speaker 1>was such a panic among the turtles that at the

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<v Speaker 1>end of six hours there was not one to be

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<v Speaker 1>found within three miles of stones landing. They took the

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<v Speaker 1>young and the aged, the decrepid and the sick upon

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<v Speaker 1>their backs, and left for tide water in disorderly procession.

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<v Speaker 1>The tadpoles following and the bullfrogs bringing up the rear.

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<v Speaker 1>Saturday night came, but the men were obliged to wait

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<v Speaker 1>because the appropriation had not come. Harry said he had

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<v Speaker 1>written to hurry up the money and it would be

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<v Speaker 1>along presently. So the work continued. On Monday. Stone's landing

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<v Speaker 1>was making quite a stir in the vicinity by this time.

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<v Speaker 1>Sellers threw a lot or two on the market as

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<v Speaker 1>a feeler, and they sold well. He reclosed his family,

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<v Speaker 1>laid in a good stock of provisions, and still had

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<v Speaker 1>money left. He started a bank account in a small way,

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<v Speaker 1>and mentioned the deposit casually to friends and to strangers too,

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<v Speaker 1>to everybody in fact, but not as a new thing.

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<v Speaker 1>On the contrary, as a matter of life long standing,

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<v Speaker 1>he could not keep from buying trifles every day that

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<v Speaker 1>were not wholly necessary. It was such a gaudy thing

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<v Speaker 1>to get out his bank book and draw a check

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<v Speaker 1>instead of using his old customary formula charge it. Harry

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<v Speaker 1>sold a lot or two also, and had a dinner

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<v Speaker 1>party or two at Hawkeye, and a general good time

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<v Speaker 1>with the money. Both men held on pretty strenuously for

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<v Speaker 1>the coming big prices. However, at the end of a

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<v Speaker 1>month things were looking bad. Harry had besieged the New

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<v Speaker 1>York headquarters of the Columbus River Slackwater Navigation Company with demands,

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<v Speaker 1>then commands, and finally appeals, but to no purpose. The

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<v Speaker 1>appropriation did not come. The letters were not even answered.

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<v Speaker 1>The workmen were clamorous. Now the Colonel and Harry retired

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<v Speaker 1>to consult. What's to be done, said the colonel, hanged,

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<v Speaker 1>if I know, companies say anything? Not a word you

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<v Speaker 1>telegraphed yesterday, Yes, and the day before too. No answer,

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<v Speaker 1>none confound them. Then there was a long pause. Finally

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<v Speaker 1>both spoke at once. I've got it. I've got it.

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<v Speaker 1>What's yours? Said Harry. Give the boys thirty day orders

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<v Speaker 1>on the company for the back pay. That's it, that's

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<v Speaker 1>my own idea to a dot. But then, but then, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>I know, said the colonel. I know. So they can't

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<v Speaker 1>wait for the orders to go to New York and

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<v Speaker 1>be cashed. But what's the reason they can't get them

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<v Speaker 1>discounted in Hawkeye? Of course they can. That solves the difficulty.

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<v Speaker 1>Everybody knows the appropriation's been made and the company's perfectly good.

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<v Speaker 1>So the orders were given and the man appeased, though

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<v Speaker 1>they grumbled a little at first. The orders went well

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<v Speaker 1>enough for groceries and such things at a fair discount,

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<v Speaker 1>and the work danced along gaily for a time. Two

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<v Speaker 1>or three purchasers put up frame houses at the landing

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<v Speaker 1>and moved in, And of course, a far sighted but

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<v Speaker 1>easy going journeyman printer wandered along and started the Napoleon

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<v Speaker 1>Weekly Telegraph and Literary Repository, a paper with a Latin

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<v Speaker 1>motto from the Unabridged Dictionary and plenty of fat conversational

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<v Speaker 1>tales and double leaded poetry, all for two dollars a year,

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<v Speaker 1>strictly in advance. Of course, the merchants forwarded the orders

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<v Speaker 1>at once to New York and never heard of them again.

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<v Speaker 1>At the end of some weeks, Harry's orders were a

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<v Speaker 1>drug in the market. Nobody would take them at any

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<v Speaker 1>discount whatever. The second month closed with a riot. Sellars

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<v Speaker 1>was absent at the time, and Harry began an active

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<v Speaker 1>absence himself, with the mob at his heels. But being

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<v Speaker 1>on horseback, he had the advantage. He did not tarry

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<v Speaker 1>in Hawkeye, but went on, thus missing several appointments with creditors.

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<v Speaker 1>He was far on his flight eastward and well out

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<v Speaker 1>of danger. When the next morning dawned, he telegraphed the

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<v Speaker 1>colonel to go down and quiet the laborers. He was

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<v Speaker 1>bound east for money. Everything would be right in a week.

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<v Speaker 1>Tell the men so, tell them to rely on him

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<v Speaker 1>and not be afraid. Sellers found the mob quiet enough

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<v Speaker 1>when he reached the landing. They had gutted the navigation office,

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<v Speaker 1>then piled the beautiful engraved stock books and things in

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<v Speaker 1>the middle of the floor and enjoyed the bonfire while

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<v Speaker 1>it lasted. They had a liking for the colonel, but

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<v Speaker 1>still they had some idea of hanging him as a

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<v Speaker 1>sort of makeshift that might answer after a fashion, in

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<v Speaker 1>place of more satisfactory game. But they made the mistake

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<v Speaker 1>of waiting to hear what he had to say first.

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<v Speaker 1>Within fifteen minutes, his tongue had done its work, and

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<v Speaker 1>they were all rich men. He gave every one of

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<v Speaker 1>them a lot in the suburbs of the city of

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<v Speaker 1>Stones Landing, within a mile and a half of the

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<v Speaker 1>future post office and railway station, and they promised to

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<v Speaker 1>resume work as soon as Harry got east and started

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<v Speaker 1>the money along. Now things were blooming and pleasant again,

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<v Speaker 1>but the men had no money. And nothing to live on.

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<v Speaker 1>The colonel divided with them the money he still had

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<v Speaker 1>in bank, an act which had nothing surprising about it,

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<v Speaker 1>because he was generally ready to divide whatever he had

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<v Speaker 1>with anybody that wanted it. And it was owing to

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<v Speaker 1>this very trait that his family spent their days in poverty,

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<v Speaker 1>and at times were pinched with famine. When the men's

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<v Speaker 1>minds had cooled and Sellers was gone, they hated themselves

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<v Speaker 1>for letting him beguile them with fine speeches, but it

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<v Speaker 1>was too late now. They agreed to hang him another time,

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<v Speaker 1>such time as providence should appoint. End of Chapter twenty

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<v Speaker 1>five