Speaker 1: Made a decision O pace Sunny Sun on I Haddavision.
Speaker 2: Night. So what's up.
Speaker 1: It's our special Thursday show. We have a very special
guest in studio that took us a long time to
book because her people wouldn't get back to us, but
we finally got her. It's very We're very excited to
have her in studio.
Speaker 3: LB.
Speaker 2: Hello, Taylor Hello, We're so excited. So I dropped LB
off at college yesterday. We're recording on a Monday, and
then she came home with us. So I had asked her, like, hey,
come do the podcast. Yes, so you I won't pay
for college.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm here for financial reasons on me.
Speaker 1: So you got into your new place yesterday?
Speaker 3: I did. I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: You're excited.
Speaker 3: It's so nice. It's way nicer than I thought it
was gonna be. Not gonna lie really yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: So what were you expecting expectation versus reality?
Speaker 3: So, I mean, I wasn't expecting it to be not
nice because it's it's UCLA and it was a new building.
But like it's I can't describe it. It's like very fresh,
like you know when like something is like a house
is like almost newly renovated, like everything is like brand new.
That's what my apartment looks like. It's like very I
kept saying, it felt like when I was walking around
the hallways, like it felt like I was walking around
a hotel. Like it was like, oh, that's us so nice.
I was like, oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1: That's great. And you have a little kitchenette, like a
kitchen with a stove in we.
Speaker 3: I was surprised. We have a microwave, we have a fridge,
we have a stove, we have an oven, we have
a dishwasher.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's nice.
Speaker 3: We have a lot of stuff. It's like a nice kitchen.
There's a lot of cabinet space, which you were happy about.
And then we have like a little couch. There's a
little TV stand and one of my roommates got a TV,
so we're gonna put that there. And then we have
like a little dining table with a bunch of little stools,
and then it's so cute, a bunch of bunch of bedrooms,
some bathrooms. It's very nice, very nice.
Speaker 1: It's it's always nice when one of the one of
the people bring the TV for the common area, exactly
because we need a TV. You have to have a TV,
and it's always somebody that's like, oh I had this
last year, or this was from my bedroom, my broad
or whatever exactly.
Speaker 3: It's I could have brought mine. But it was nice
because we made a group chat, and like two days
after we made the group chat, one of my roommates
was like, hey, guys, so my dad actually works I
think for a paramount she said, And she was like,
we just have a bunch of just like brand new,
unused TVs or something. I don't actually know the full situation,
but she was somehow able to get a hold of
brand new TV for us.
Speaker 2: It is weird that they would work for as opposed
to like, that's.
Speaker 3: What I thought. But you know what if we got
a TV, we got a TV. So I'm like, yeah,
that's great. I'm super excited because, you.
Speaker 1: Know, you think about it and like when you're sharing
with a bunch of girls, who's bringing the pots and
pants or who's bringing the Madison cabinet or you know,
like you don't know, or who's bringing the towels for
the bathroom.
Speaker 3: It was definitely a little bit chaotic because there's eight
of us, so there's four bedrooms, so I only have
one actual like roommate who I adore. She's amazing, But
I'm living with seven other girls, and everyone was kind
of debating on like decoration and like some people decided
on who's going to bring what, but then everyone was
also kind of waiting to see what people were already,
like what people would bring once we moved in, because
seven out of eight of us moved in yesterday, so
it wasn't that spread out. So I think most people
were kind of waiting to see what was already brought,
and then from there we can assess what we still need.
Speaker 1: But are your roommates in? Are they from out of town?
Speaker 3: Actually barely any of them are. Everyone's from California. I
think six out of eight of us are from the valley.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I think one girl is from Long
Beach and the farthest girl is from.
Speaker 2: The Bay Area.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, that's nice. Yeah, so everybody can kind of
go home on the weekends exactly for the Bay Area girl,
but yeah, you can bring her home with you on
the weekends exactly.
Speaker 3: But yeah, everybody is super local, which is why it's
also funny. I don't think a lot of us are
staying there until later in the week. So like all
of us quote unquote moved in, but barely any of
us are actually sleeping there until later in the week.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So but everything great and it went smooth yesterday with
your mom. Yeah, totally embarrassed you at all.
Speaker 3: No, except for you know what, hugging em and I'm
just kidding. I'm just kidding. But yeah, it was super fun.
It was really nice because I obviously knew two of
my roommates already, but it was fun because I got
to meet two more of them and they were both
so sweet, and it was just like really fun getting
to meet everyone in person and see how everyone was decorating.
And I got to put all my stuff in my
room and get everything unpacked.
Speaker 1: That's nice.
Speaker 3: So it was. It was definitely very fun, and it
wasn't as chaotic as I thought it was going to be.
Like I thought it was going to be this whole
ordeal of having to put everything in a bunch of
cards and having to figure my way how to well
figure out how to program on my car and get
into my apartment and then everybody. But it went pretty smoothly.
Speaker 1: That's great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but not to make this about me, But we
were just laughing because I was kind of telling the
story a little bit from my perspective about how you
used to be the anxious one and then some it's
turned around, and how you were having to be like mom, relaxed,
like it's gonna be fine. And I was like, this
used to be you. You were the one who would
have been like what are we gonna do?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 2: I was gonna check us in and I was like, oh,
who are you gonna need it? You're gonna so you
need a pin number for this? But are they gonna program?
Speaker 3: Ask me about that? Like six times in the car
you kept being like, okay, so you need the pin
number and the brewin card and I was like yes,
and you go, okay, so that means that you don't
have to program your brewing card because you have a pin.
I was like, no, I still need to program my
brewing card. There's gonna be an area for it, but
I also need a pin and she was like, so
what do you need.
Speaker 1: The pin for?
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh my god, please, it's just
I know what's happening, Like it's fine, I promise, I've
told you.
Speaker 1: So you just need your card to get into the building.
Speaker 2: Sonna be like, yeah, but no.
Speaker 3: So it's it's with Berkeley when I visited Berkeley. Oh god,
they have the place locked down. You need your Bruin,
your Brown card, you need your little Berkeley ID to
get into the building. You need your ID to use
the elevator to get up to your room, and then
you need your key card to get into your room.
Speaker 1: Mine.
Speaker 3: You don't need any of that to get into the
building or anything. I don't think. I mean, the doors
were open already, so we were just kind of going in,
but I need my Bruin card. It's it's literally like
a hotel. You put your card against the door and
then I put in a pin.
Speaker 2: Out open the door.
Speaker 1: Oh that's nice. Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's it's very it feels very secure. Yeah,
it's very nice.
Speaker 2: That's nice. So your bedroom itself is just a door.
Speaker 3: Yeah, my bedroom myself just open.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And do you feel like it's gonna be in
a jus meant to be in like such a small
space with a bunch of other people, And.
Speaker 3: I honestly don't think it's gonna be as big of
an adjustment, only because I'm used to going to summer
camp every year, and honestly, for like several weeks I
lived with one other girl, my best seat for when
we were both counselors, and it was really fun. I
actually really like having a roommate as long as they're
you know, cool. And the girl that I got put with,
they assigned not only did they assign the girls in
the apartment itself, but they also assigned all the bedrooms.
And I was so thankful because I got put with
not only one of the girls that I had already
met before, so she was one of the ones I
knew going into it, but she was the one that
was the most similar to me because they did it
by preference. She's literally like me, like we're the same person,
and she's so cool that they do so funny, very
easy going, very nice. It's like very chill. So I
think it's gonna be really fun. And I feel like
I have enough space. It's not like the tiniest room ever, right,
I had. I had enough space to unpack all my
pounds of clothes. Yeah, you know, there's that.
Speaker 2: There's that I was I was definitely more anxious about.
I was like, I know, you're gonna bring all this
stuff and all these shoes, and she was like, it's
gonna be fine. There's plenty of space.
Speaker 3: And they were still sitting there and you were like,
are you sure you don't need this? Are you sure
we're not going to bring a bunch of clothes back?
And I was like, just just let me do it,
don't worry. And it worked.
Speaker 1: It's nice.
Speaker 2: I did. I was getting I got more hands off.
I realized I was annoying her. You know, she didn't
want my help, like organizing her clothes. She was like,
leave it, yeah, I touch my clothes. I was like, okay, yeah,
I think we would.
Speaker 3: We would start on one bag and I'd be like, okay,
well I'm gonna do this bag, and then I'd turn
around and You're like emptying other stuff out of my
other bags and I'm like no, no, no, no, no, we're
gonna get to that.
Speaker 1: And like she tell you us a little bit like
that too. Really, yeah, she she needed to know where
her stuff was. Like I'd start to help unpack another
thing and she's like, no, no, no, no, I'm doing Let's just
do the socks and under her drier first, and we'll
get to that.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think that's where my own anxieties come incause
I think I'm like, Okay, I already know where everything
is in all of my bags, and if you take
something out, I'm not gonna know where it is, and
then I'll even forget about it. Or I was like,
let me just do one bag at a time, because
I have all I have all my pants and this
stuff in one bag, but then I have all my
decor and this stuff in another bag. Let me unpack
my clothes and then we'll worry about my my hangers
from my closet.
Speaker 2: You know, right right, this is cute. Alby has a
little decorating hack.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, yeah, I don't think it's like I don't
think it's like that unknown because you know who did
it was Lily. You know the posters in my room
that are those were done the same way.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, but I'm sure it's gonna be a hack
to me.
Speaker 3: Yeah. If if you ever want like little little posters
for your room or anything like that, if you just
go on anything like Google, Pinterest, whatever, and you find
stuff you can print, like cute posters from FedEx for
like eighty cents a piece. Oh yeah, so I printed
like thirty posters for like twenty something really, and they're
all like cute, they're good quality. You can stick them
up on your walls. They look nice. Oh and I
didn't have to spend forty bucks on Amazon for like, yeah,
ten things to put on my wall. I got a
bunch so well.
Speaker 2: They would have been more than that, because the ones
she was seeing that she liked on Amazon were like
ten dollars each.
Speaker 1: Oh wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that was like sets of like how does it.
Speaker 1: Print out like on poster paper or.
Speaker 3: It's like on thinner paper, but it's like it's still poster.
It's like, yeah, poster, it's like post quality. But okay,
they're like Chris but they look nice and like you
can frame them to if you want to.
Speaker 1: That's great.
Speaker 3: But they're really nice. They're good quality.
Speaker 1: Oh I love that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It was super easy. You can like put in your
order and then you pick it up like two hours later.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, yeah, oh my god. I might do that
for my house.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say. And luckily for me, we have
a FedEx, like right five minutes to drive from my house,
So yeah, super nice.
Speaker 1: That's great. Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 2: So how are you feeling about I mean, I know
how you're feeling, but you know, last week talked to
you were so happy that you got into UCLA, and
then you've had a good summer, and are you feeling like, Wow,
I'm so glad that I didn't go somewhere else.
Speaker 3: Yes, I think now more than ever, I feel very
grateful that I did community college first, even though for
a year and not two. I definitely think that was
the greatest decision I could have made. And that's coming
from someone who was miserable, like, oh my god, I
would never go back to last year. But despite all
of that, I think that doing community college was just
such a great decision because now I am here, and
like I did have to get through a lot of stuff,
but now I am going to UCLA and I'm in
a nice apartment and I'm I Still it doesn't I
don't want to say it doesn't feel like I'm a transfer,
because there's nothing wrong obviously with being a transfer, but
like it doesn't feel like I'm some sort of like
outsider that just like join the school. Like getting into
UCLA still felt like I got into UCLA, like if
I got in right out of high school, and I
was telling my mom this, but I was like, I
think going to community college for a year even made
it felt better getting Reid because I'd work through so
much more to get into the school that it was
just like an even more amazing feeling to get accepted
to the school and finally feel like everything is kind
of coming together a little bit. But I'm just so glad,
And I'm also glad that I didn't decide to just
go to college right outside of high school, like just
go to any college I got into, just because I
wanted the four year college experience right because like, obviously
I got into a couple schools. I got into you know,
you See Santa Cruz, which I hate saying, like, oh God,
like I didn't want to go to you See Santa
Cruz because there's also literally nothing wrong with Santa Cruz.
I just when I toured the school, I could tell
that the environment was so far from what i'd pictured
college to be, and it I obviously had always wanted
to go to a really big school, and I really
wanted to go to a school that was like in
a city, because I've always loved living in la and like,
I don't know, Santa Cruise is obviously not that at all,
and I have friends at Santa Cruz who love it,
like I have friends who rave about it and are
so happy there because they saw the campus and they
saw the school and they were like, oh, yeah, I'm
gonna like it here. But obviously me, it was like
I don't think it was my type of campus. However,
there were so many times where I contemplated going to
the school just because I wanted the four year college experience,
and I had never seen myself at community college, like
growing up, it had never even been an option for me,
Like I'd always had it locked in my brain that
I was going to college for four years and that
was like the only path. And obviously it kind of
sucked because I was a victim to kind of looking
at community college with that stigma that it has, where
it's like only the people that don't do well in
my school go to community college to kind of get
their shit back together. And I was like, well, no,
I worked my ass off in high school. I took
eight bajillion AP classes and I just I worked so
hard I got good grades. So I was like, it
sucks going to school with kids that proudly flaunted their
d's and their f's, knowing that they were going to
end up there. It kind of sucked. But then getting
to community college it was kind of refreshing because my
professors were awesome. They were literally some of the best
teachers I've had, Like, they were awesome, and there was
a lot of kids in my classes. There were obviously
a lot of kids that were just kind of there to,
you know, take classes, but there was also a lot
of kids that I ended up talking to that were like, oh, yeah,
I just didn't get into any colleges that I wanted
to go to, but I got great grades in high school.
You know, I'm I'm here for the exact same reasons.
Speaker 2: That you are.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh yeah, I was thinking about
it all wrong. And it also wasn't as much work
as I thought it was going to be, which was
also definitely a plus. I was willing to do the
work to get into UCLA, obviously, but it was nice
that I didn't feel like I was drowning in work
because I just my biggest worry is I didn't want
it to feel like high school, right. I didn't want
to feel like I was going through high school over again,
because I was so burnt out and I was so
done with high school. I was ready to just move on.
But regardless, I think community college was the best decision
I could have made because now I'm here. Yeah, I'm
in UCLA. I'm so excited. It's gonna be amazing.
Speaker 2: Should we take a quick break. Let's take a break.
We're back. Do you I was wondering while you were talking,
like you had a lot of it was hard. It
was a hard period of your life. You broke up
with your boyfriend. You know, you were you experienced a
lot of loss, You felt really devastated. It was hard
as a mom watching you go through that. Would you
say though that, like, do you have Are you grateful
at all for the fact that you got you worked
through something that felt impossible, and now do.
Speaker 1: You feel like, oh maybe stronger.
Speaker 2: I'm through something hard and now I know I could
meet adversity.
Speaker 3: Yes, I one hundred percent think so. And I know
that like five minutes ago, I said I'd never do
it again, which I probably wouldn't. However, I am very
grateful that that all kind of happened to me because
in like, in those moments at that time. It was
so hard to have kind of a good perspective on
anything because I'd never I don't want to go very
like grim, but I'd never been that low in my
entire life. It felt like everything was just going wrong
for me. I got rejected from everywhere that I wanted
to go. And on top of that, it wasn't even
that I got rejected, but a ton of my friends
got into places that they were excited about, and so
it was not only was I surround, not only was
I dealing with rejection, but I was also obviously dealing
with a little bit of jealousy and like having a
hard time that obviously, and this is not anything on her,
this was just me. But one of my best friends
got into every single you see. And I was with
her when she opened Berkeley, and it was obviously so
hard because on one hand, I was so happy for
her because she's also literally one of the hardest workers
I know, like she is so smart and absolutely deserved it.
But I was like, on the other hand, I was like,
I'm smart too, Like, yes, I worked hard too, and
I didn't I didn't get in anywhere that I wanted
to go, so and then of course on top of that,
when I was trying to enjoy my summer, I did
get broken up with so that was obviously tripled what
I was already feeling and dragged me down even worse.
But I feel like now that I've kind of made
it to the other side of it, and now that
I feel very happy and satisfied with where I am
right now, And like, even when I have days where
I still feel like off about my breakup or whatever,
it's so much better because I still feel very happy overall,
and I feel like I have so much to look
forward to, And so I feel like now that I've
kind of made it to the other side of just
like that hit of real despair, I feel like if
anything were to, you know, happen again where I hit
a low or something, I feel like it'll be a
lot easier to have a better perspective, right better outlook,
because I know that regardless of how shitty I'm feeling,
it will one hundred percent get better. Like, yes, absolutely,
I mean, poor kid.
Speaker 1: All the things you went through. My heart broke along
with your mom's heart when you were going through this. Yeah,
it was tough to hear, it really was, and it
hit it was. It was it hits you when you're
a mom. You know, you feel for especially knowing you
since you were little, you know, and all the things,
and you're still like you had all these ap classes,
great grades, like it just didn't make sense. It just
really didn't make sense.
Speaker 3: But I felt bad too, because like it wasn't just
me that this happened too. It was definitely like I
had a couple friends as well that did not get
into places that they wanted to go, and they had
just the same stats and grades and whatever as me,
if not better. So it was like hard because I
I did feel very like alone in it, and I
would try so hard to tell myself, like you are
not going through this by yourself. But you know, it's
obviously like.
Speaker 1: When you when you're in the middle of you're in
the middle of it, and you're like.
Speaker 2: I go question, I mean, I did the best I
could to help you, and so did Dad, But when
you were at your lowest point, I wonder if you
could help us help moms out there that's kids are
going through stuff that's tough. You know. I'm sure I
didn't always say the right thing, and a lot of
times Dad and I tried to say, and you and
I talked about this literally yesterday. How we we would say, like,
I promise you things are going to be different like
next year, and you would say to me like it doesn't, Matt,
like I can't. This is going to be the longest
year of my life. And we'd be like, it's gonna
go by fast, and then you're gonna be You're gonna
do your applications. Is there anything parents can say to
the Is there anything I could have done? I know
that you know you feel helpless, Yeah, parent watching your kid,
and as a parent, you also think it's not fair.
But we think it's not fair, like we were always
trying to figure out why, but what can parents do?
Like or what could I have done better? Or what
did I do right? Or whatever? Can you help my
parents out there?
Speaker 3: I mean, I think you did mostly everything right. I
don't think that there was very many times where I
felt like you said the wrong thing. I think sometimes
I felt a little bit like I don't know how
to I don't know how to say this, but I
feel like sometimes it was hard to hear like, oh,
like everybody, this has happened, so many people have gone
through this like blah blah blah blah blah. And I
don't even know why that is, but I think it
was just like made me feel like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, but it's happening.
Speaker 3: It's happening to me, and like they're not feeling this
right now, like you know, it's just like it's a
very hard thing to I don't know because.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I know what you're saying.
Speaker 3: It's it's just hard because I sometimes felt like, not
even you specifically, but I felt like other people kind
of were trying to be more like, oh, like it
will be fine, rather than like, no, I get what
you're feeling right now. Like I feel like I kind
of more wanted people to be like, dude, it feels
like shit, like yeah, like you're I don't want to
say you're right. But sometimes I'd be down on myself
and I'd be like I don't even know why, like
I'm this like upset about this, Like people have so
many worse issues than getting broken up with and not
getting into college, you know. Like sometimes I and I
feel like I wanted sometimes even just like with my friends,
like I just wanted to hear like, oh, like, don't
even worry like you're gonna be fine, like time heals all,
like it's gonna be okay, because again it does feel like, yeah,
I know it. I think what I didn't want to
hear is stuff that I already knew. I knew I
was gonna be fine eventually, but I think it was
just hard because I was like, well, why don't I
feel fine right now?
Speaker 1: I think it goes Stephanie like being moms. It's that
it This is this is pure proof that when when
your kid is feeling like, the one thing you want
to do when your kid is feeling down or whatever
is uh, sympathize and say like, well, I know how
that might be. That's gotta be hard, or you know,
like I that sounds very hard, you know that kind
of thing like how we used to say how we
would talk to our kids, like kind of say like
I get it, or this happened to me when I
was your eighte whatever, instead of like it's gonna be fine,
You're gonna see every or everybody else is going through
the same, like kids don't want to hear that, Like
I don't think that.
Speaker 2: But on the other hand, I remember telling her, telling
you like it's okay, like because she also wouldn't cry
in front of me. She's very tough. So I remember
being like, you can cry like this this sucks, like
you're allowed to be mad and sad and thinking it's
not fair and cry. But it was almost like she
wouldn't cry or feel be upset unless not that we
were fighting about it, but unless I was, like, unless
she got really frustrated strated.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's weird because there were I cry,
like really randomly, Like sometimes I'll be like not even
that upset, but I'll be like frustrated, Like when I
would get in arguments with my ex boyfriend. We wouldn't
even be arguing over that much, but I would just
break down in tears trying to like figure out how
to say what I wanted to say. Whereas like I
feel like in other times where I'm genuinely like feeling
super sad, sometimes it's more of just like.
Speaker 1: A uh huh, yeah, you know, so the tears usually
come from frustration.
Speaker 3: It's yeah, I feel like the tears more come from frustration.
But there was many times where I would just cribe
by myself.
Speaker 2: So but and then I would find out because the
problem is it's so incestuous. Are like the moms, especially
with the oldest, but with you be both because they're twins,
but where I'm friends with the mom. And then I
got a mom calling me saying my daughter told me
she talked to Elbe and Elbe was like so so sad,
and they talked in the middle of the night and
she's depressed. And I'd be like, oh, okay, well, I
guess I'm not supposed to know, but you know what
I mean. So it's like, I know that you're feeling
even lower than you were let on, but you won't
talk to me about it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I think it's just difficult when
you don't really know how to like describe two.
Speaker 1: As you're way of coping.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what the feeling is, like, I don't know. It was.
It was hard because there's only so much and there's
only so much you can say to somebody too that's
feeling like that, Like I have a friend right now
that's kind of going through what I was going through,
and it's hard being on the other end because all
I want to do is just say like I have
been there, Like I kept telling them. I was like
I wish you could have seen me last year. I
wish you could have been going through this when last year,
because you would have felt so much less alone in
this because I was like, you haven't seen me like that,
because he told me, he was like, but you seem
like fine, like you seem like you're doing great, And
I'm like, that's because this all happened to me over
a year ago. I was suffering for months. But then
you don't want to say that because you don't want
them to think that they're gonna be suffering for months.
So it's like it's hard because being on the other
end of it too, it's hard because you there's really
not much you can say because if somebody's feeling like that,
like there's no magic cure to it, there's there's really nothing.
And it sucks because everybody was right like time you
just you gotta you gotta let it do its thing. Yeah,
And I hated hearing that. I hated it when I
was feeling upset. I hated hearing that because it was
just so like dauntingly yeah, like it was gonna last
so long. But I think like to to kind of
combat it, I would always just try to give myself
stuff to like look forward to, like, I would always
make sure I made sure that I had at least
one fun thing that I could look forward to. Like
when I first got broken up with in August, obviously
devastated for weeks, wouldn't leave my room, barely could eat.
My friends would take me out to lunch, and I
would start crying, like literally bawling in the middle of
my friends. Arianna, she is the best. She took me
to CPK, and I felt horrible because out of nowhere,
I was eating my kids mac and cheese and I
just start sobbing into my food and there's nothing she
can do. And I just felt so bad because I
don't know. But at that time, I'd already had a
trip planned to go visit my friend in Berkeley for
her birthday. So I was like, Okay, you know what,
I have like a couple weeks. I just got to
get through the next couple of weeks and then I'm
going to be in Berkeley with all my best ies.
We're gonna be partying, we're gonna be having a good
time like I have some I have a weekend to
take my mind off of it. And then I came
back and then I'd be like, Okay, now me and
my me and my two besties from work, we have
a We're going to a house show like the at
the beginning of October, and obviously Berkeley was at like
the end of September. So it's like, Okay, now I
just have to get through these next couple of weeks
and I get to go to this really fun concert
and put on a cute outfit and I get to
buy my outfit and whatever, and like I think, like
I even though I'm doing so much better now, I
still kind of do that. I'm still like, Okay, what's
the next thing that I'm gonna like have on my
on my list of fun things to do? And I
feel like, obviously, after getting into UCLA, I don't need
to do that as much because I have all of
college ahead of me and I know that I'm going
to have so much fun and oh great. But I
think that kind of made it better because it made
it feel like less time. Right.
Speaker 2: You know, I have a question too. You know, you've
always had a really upbeat personality, like You've always been
an optimist like me. I've always said to Dad, like
you and I have that thing like you're always able
to look at the bright side, but this just you
just couldn't, Like there was a down. And it was
really scary as a parent because I was like, what
happened to her personality? Like, you know, because in my
mind I was like, Okay, going to community college isn't
the worst, Like my kids living a fairly charmed life,
and it's the absolute worst thing that's ever happened to
hers having to go to community college for a year yea.
So it was hard to see her that taken down,
to see that like not able to see any positives
because basically I was like, fuck, I went to community college.
I didn't even want to go to college. Yeah, so
I'm wondering. My question is not like why was that
so bad? But my question is like did you ever
question yourself of like am I suddenly a person with
a different person? Were you like why can't I find
did you do think of yourself as an optimist and
that you were able to see the bright side? And
were you worried about yourself? Like uh oh am I
like do I have depression? Now?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: Am I a depressed? Okay? Yeah, I elaborate.
Speaker 3: I think it was definitely like tough because I do
consider myself very much an optimist. I feel like even
even when I feel like shit, and I don't mean
that last year, I mean before that, any other smaller situations,
I feel like I always accidentally am like but like
you saw that this, like it's still gonna be fine.
So I feel like it was scary to myself because
I was like, wow, like I cannot see anything good.
Like it was like it was tough because I was like, yeah,
community colleges in the worst, but then what if I
get rejected from all these colleges again, like instead of
because I tend to catastrophize, And it just felt like
that on like steroids, Like it felt like somebody like
I'd feel like I'd like all all of my all
of my bad scenarios that could happen just completely outweighed
anything good. Like I couldn't even see myself getting into UCLA.
I was desperate too, that was like my main goal.
But I was walking around Community College, trudge into my
class with my arapods in and I was like, I
probably won't get Like I don't know if I'm gonna
get into UCLA, Like what if I'm here another year like,
I don't know anyone here, like I because I didn't
really have any friends right at my community college. It
was all like people from my high school that I'm
either acquainted with or people I don't like, right, So
I was like I would literally go to class, sit
in my class for an hour and a half, come home. Yeah,
And so it was just hard to like, it was hard.
Speaker 2: Went through tough time to at work kind of for
a while too.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there was a obviously I feel like we've
talked about it on here before, but obviously there was
a lot of drama that went down at work. And obviously,
when you're in community college and you barely have any
classes as it is, the drama at work consumes like
your entire life. And I lost some friends over fucking nothing,
like yeah, for a misunderstanding that obviously ended up getting
solved in Now we're all friends again and it's chill.
But it was just hard because I was like, damn,
I barely have anything going on at school, which I
was like, I wish I had more stuff going on
at school. Had I gotten the opportunity, I probably would
have taken war in person classes. But I didn't even
have an option, like some of the classes I had
to take were only offered online or at the same
time as my other class, So I was like, I
barely have anything going on at school. I don't really
have a schedule in my life. I'm to come to
kind of get away from that. I'm at work every
every second that I can be at work. But then
you get really burned out from work, even though you
see everyone, and I'm like, like whatever, and then all
the drama goes down at work and I'm like, I
have literally nothing going on in my life except for
drama and waiting for college decisions to come back, you.
Speaker 2: Know, And then you were kind of dreading the college decisions,
like you don't want to talk questions.
Speaker 1: About should we take it? Let's should we take a break? Yeah,
I got yeah, I got questions. Yeah, So sorry, my
kids are doing the community college thing in two different cities.
And did you have how did you you did it
in one year? Yes, but you knew which classes you needed.
Speaker 3: Yes. So my mom literally forced me to talk to counselors.
Thank God, Please for anyone listening, please make sure if
you were in community college, talk to as many counselors
as you can because some of them won't give you
all the information you need, and then you got to
go to another counselor for them to give you all
the information you need. And obviously, again I feel like
I've talked about it on here before, how I just
got totally like, couldn't TAG, couldn't do TAP because I
was not.
Speaker 2: So TAG is the Transfer Alliance Guarantee.
Speaker 3: Right, Transferred Mission guarantee, Yeah, yeah, and then TAP is
APP is Transfer Alliance Program. Basically it's like TAP is
specifically for UCLA and it's not guaranteed, but it's like
priority admission. And then TAG is like your guaranteed admission
to one of the UC's that's part of the program.
I didn't get to do either of those. Long story short,
just because I I was not told all the correct
steps that I needed to take.
Speaker 2: But oh and by the way, if Natalia was trying
to do it in a year, the time to TAG
is by the end of this month.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay.
Speaker 1: She's been talking to counselors about it good, correct, and
they brought up the TAG and so she's trying she
was trying to make sure that she has I don't
know if she's gonna try and do it in one year.
Speaker 3: But yeah, my thing is I felt very thankful because
at first, when I started, I thought that having taken
all those APS didn't do anything for me. I thought
that it didn't matter, But it definitely did a lot
of my APS, I want to say, like nine of
them gave me a like five or so credits each
to transfer over, like they were all transferable classes. So
I already knocked out a bunch of my credits from
my AP classes. And then from that, my counselors kind
of gave me. They were like, Okay, you need these
classes to get into this school, but then this school,
like they'll do it by major. They'll tell you exactly
what you need, like depending on your major, they'll tell
you what classes you're required to have already taken. They'll
tell you classes that they recommend you take, classes that,
of course, like can be replaced by an AP class.
Like for my major, I had to have passed a
statistics class, which I passed my AP stats so that counted.
I needed a psychology course and I took a p
psych in high school as well, so that also covered that.
And then with the remaining classes, they were like, you
don't need this one to transfer, but you need these
two to transfer, and then these two other classes will
look good to transfer.
Speaker 2: And then at the last minute it was like, oh,
and by the way, if you want to get into
San Diego State.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. Yeah, they had all the CSUS have
like the Golden four, and they were like, oh, yeah,
you need to take an oral communications class, which I
didn't realize.
Speaker 1: Until what's the Golden four.
Speaker 3: It's like english Man, Yeah, I don't actually know what
it is. Off the critical thinking, critical thinking. It's weird.
It's a weird set of classes. Thankfully, I'd already had
three out of four of them covered. But I was
already starting my college applications, like it was that time.
It was like October or something.
Speaker 2: Well into it.
Speaker 3: I was way into it, and they were like, oh, yeah,
by the way, you need to take this class. So
I was like, oh, well, now I got to add
another class onto.
Speaker 2: I took it.
Speaker 3: I think I took it during the winter. I took
a communications course during the winter.
Speaker 2: But I freaking Google. I was googling. She didn't wasn't
aware of it. I was googling what do you need
what something? And it said Golden four and I was like,
what's that? So I called Robin because her kid went
to San Diego State, and I was like, have you
heard of this thing? And she was like, yeah, I
do think he needed to take a communications class. And
was like, LB asked the counselor. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So then she was like, oh, yeah, by the way,
you totally I asked the counselor. I was like, by
the way, what's the golden for? And she was like, oh, yeah,
you do need that. And then she like looks through
my stuff and she's like, oh, yeah, you're missing this class.
You can take it during year. And I was like,
oh my god, another one, Like.
Speaker 1: I gotta tell my kids about the Golden flour.
Speaker 3: If they haven't looked up, well, they won't apply to CSUS. Yeah,
it's only for only for cal states.
Speaker 2: Okay she wanted to get into Okay, let me ask
you this though, so so yeah, so Natalia, they just
need to regularly meet with the counselor.
Speaker 1: She has, which is great. And the thing that kind
of scared me though, is you said, if the one
counsel's not giving you the information, you need to go
to a net. Well, how do you know if the one.
Speaker 2: Counts, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Hopefully she has a good counts or.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think.
Speaker 3: Also on top of that, it was hard because I'd
only done it in a year, so I only had
like two months to figure out all of these deadlines,
Whereas if Natalia is doing it in two years, she
has a whole year and a couple months to figure
out all the deadlines. Which that's the amount of time
it took a lot of my like friends that also
did community I have a couple of people that community
college for two years, and they had enough meetings with
counselors and enough time and enough preparation to do it.
Whereas I feel like I started college applications like two months.
Speaker 1: After a school started.
Speaker 3: School started, Like I graduated high school, had my summer,
started school, and two months later I'm applying to college again.
Speaker 1: Because when's the deadline for the So for.
Speaker 3: UCS, the deadline is November thirtieth. For CSUS it's November first,
And that's all the schools I was applying to, basically
because it was kind of just California or nothing at
that point, right, so I obviously knew when like the
actual application deadlines were, but I didn't know when. I
didn't even know the TAG was a separate application until
I was trying to apply in November and they were like,
oh yeah, you missed that deadline two months ago, girl,
And I was like.
Speaker 2: What, like, I feel like talk while she was sad,
while she was seemingly depressed and joyless, It's kept coming yes,
like oh my god. Then she comes home one day
and says, yeah, I can't guess what. I can't do
the TAP program, which her heart was set in UCLA.
Why not because apparently none of my classes are honors classes.
So it was like we talked about that at the
last time she was on the show. She was so
upset about that one. Then we find out she missed
the tag deadline. So we're just like, oh god, now
you're just in limbo city. It was what do you
think was the moment where you started to like feel better.
Speaker 3: I think there was quite a few moments.
Speaker 4: Sorry, I want Kaylin in the air on oh yeah,
it's gonna get at quick, all right, just for a
few minutes, like blowing right on my head.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: I think there was quite a few moments that I
started to feel better. But I think it was pretty gradual.
I want to say, I don't even think there was.
I mean, obviously, getting into UCLA was like a game changer,
like because I finally didn't feel like I was waiting
on anything, Like waiting on college decisions was the worst
part of the process, just because I was like, I've
done everything I can, I've put so much work into this.
I felt good about my essays, like I have straight
a's in community college, which I submitted, So I was
just like, it's all about waiting and it was so tedious,
And I think getting into UCLA was kind of a
game changer because I was like, well, even if I
feel like terrible about other things, now I can say
I have UCLA and I know that I'm going to
make a ton of new friends, which I already have,
and it's your life. It was so nice that I
knew that I was going to have a change to
like my life. And I don't even mean like I
don't know. It was just after getting out of high school,
I felt like I'd had the same routine that I
was so tired of, so burnt out of, which was
going to school every single day, and I hated high school.
By the end wasn't even the school itself. I just
I couldn't do it. I hated high school, didn't like
some of my classes. I would have drama in my
friend group, like I was. Half the reason why I
went to school was my boyfriend. Literally half the time,
he'd be like, I don't want to go. I'm not
going to school today, and I'd be like, oh God,
my day is gonna suck, like because you know, yeah,
that's totally dramatic. By the way. I not every single
day was bad in high school. I just I didn't
like high school. I was so brown out. Like junior year,
I was done. I was like, I was so done
going to classes every day, like I can't. And then
I had work on the weekends. And again in the beginning,
I loved my job, but you know, you start to
get a little tired of it once you're there for
a couple of years. And I got rejected and it
was like, oh, lucky you. You're going to be going
to community college five minutes away from your high school
with all these kids from your high school, and now
you're going to go to school and you're going to
go to work, and that's all You're going to have
in your life for another year. And I was like,
oh my god, like it's going to be the same thing.
And now I don't have a boyfriend. So I was like, which,
he gets to go to college and have a great
time with all these people and he gets to forget
about it, and I was like, dang, Like sucks for me.
So I think getting into UCLA, I was like, oh
my god, it doesn't matter how sad I am over
anything else. I'm going to get to live in an
apartment and I don't care about having a roommate. I'm
totally happy to have a roommate. Especially the roommates that
I have now I've lucked out with them. They're amazing.
So I'm like, I get to have built in friends
in my apartments or my dorm or whatever I get
because I didn't know at the time. I get to
go to a completely different school. I'm gonna it's a
great freaking school. On top of my amazing school, I
get to tell just.
Speaker 1: Westwood like all that stuff.
Speaker 3: Everything, my whole life is going to be totally different,
which I think. As much as I think change scares
me a bit and definitely gives me anxiety, I think
This was like the time where I was like, I'm
so ready, I'm so ready for a change. And then
obviously I had the greatest summer ever. I had so
much fun. I made like an entirely new friend group.
I cut off things with my ex pretty much. It
was mutual, but that was going on. I was going
on for a while, Lord knows why. I don't know
why I did that. But you know, that ended, and
I thought I was going to be depressed again because
I was like, oh god, I haven't. I haven't not.
I haven't gone without speaking to him for more than
like a month since we broke up, and it's been
mostly us talking every day. Still, don't do that, guys,
I fear listen, don't do that. Do not do that.
But I thought I was gonna be so sad, But
then I totally wasn't, and I had a great summer,
made all these amazing friends. I think being distracted was
like a good part of it, because I've been telling
people it's not good to distract yourself early on, but
I think because it's good to, you know, sit in
your feelings for a bit, as much as it sucks,
and you gotta say the feelings because it's always going
to hit you at some point, so I think being
hit with it for months beforehand, I was like, Okay,
now I can start distracting myself. I've sat in my feelings.
I've I've felt all the emotions. Now I'm good to
just kind of. I mean, I feel like I'm.
Speaker 1: Grown leaps and bounds out of this experience. Yeah, and
my God, like all the hard work and it's paid off.
Now you're going to use CLA. You're just gonna have
the best time. Alb, You're a success story. You really are,
and I think every parent should listen to this episode,
especially that has kids going off to college. Yeah, this
is really because the heartbreak you went through, the heartbreak
your mom had to watch you go through, it was
just tough. But now, like, look at you. I mean,
I'm freaking proud of you.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think this is crazy because this is the
first time that I've seen myself and I genuinely feel
like a completely different person than I was a year.
Like I feel like I always like a year will
go by and I'll be like I still feel like
I'm pretty similar to how I was like the year before,
But now I kind of like look at myself, and
I'm like, holy shit, I'm a completely different person in
like the best way possibly, yes, like in an amazing way. Yeah,
And I I'm very happy, and i think, like, biggest
thing to take away do community college. Please do it?
Speaker 2: Do it?
Speaker 1: Okay, you won't regret it. That makes me happy to hear.
Speaker 2: Funny thing is too that like the girl that was
helping us bring her stuff up to the apartment. It's
so crazy how many people did that path Like, yeah,
that girl went to she went to community college. Yeah yeah,
see yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh. And another thing to add one of my roommates
she dropped out of Berkeley because she hated Berkeley and
she did community college for a year and now she's
with me, and she was wow, so excited about her decision.
So I'm just like it's very eye opening. Like I
could have gone in too freaking Berkeley for who knows
and gone and still hated it yeah, and been like, well,
now I'm going to do community college for a year
anyways and end up here. So I think like the
biggest like takeaway for me was like it sucked and
it was not how I It sucks because it wasn't
where I saw myself, but like, I think it's important
to you know, assess all your options and just know,
like I feel great now that I'm CLA. I'm super
excited for the next two three years. If I spread
it out to three years, it's super cool because now
all my friends are jealous because they're like, oh, are
you graduating year before me? And I'm like, yeah, yeah,
I am.
Speaker 2: That's true unless she wants to make lots longer and
she can double major.
Speaker 1: If she Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2: I'm a serious student.
Speaker 3: Now I have lots of options.
Speaker 1: Totally. The world is your oyster.
Speaker 3: But I'm ready. I'm ready to rushi a sorority.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there we go.
Speaker 2: So now we're going to talk. We're going to end
this episode and we're going to talk with about Adrian
drinking and Helen right.
Speaker 3: Somewhat time. Hey, hey, hey, all right, well thank you?
Speaker 1: All right, your parent now, don't have it up.
Speaker 3: I say that ain't goes Will