WEBVTT

1
00:00:04.160 --> 00:00:12.000
<v Speaker 1>US Studio US. Welcome to the Stillness Journal. I'm Maya,

2
00:00:13.480 --> 00:00:16.800
<v Speaker 1>and today I want to talk about something we have

3
00:00:16.920 --> 00:00:22.839
<v Speaker 1>been taught to resist, the gift of letting yourself rest.

4
00:00:23.519 --> 00:00:27.239
<v Speaker 1>There is a kind of exhaustion that sleep does not fix.

5
00:00:29.359 --> 00:00:33.240
<v Speaker 1>The kind that comes from carrying more than is yours

6
00:00:33.320 --> 00:00:39.359
<v Speaker 1>to carry. The kind that builds in the chest, behind

7
00:00:39.439 --> 00:00:46.359
<v Speaker 1>the eyes, in the spaces between the shoulder blades. The

8
00:00:46.479 --> 00:00:49.359
<v Speaker 1>kind that has nothing to do with how much you

9
00:00:49.479 --> 00:00:53.920
<v Speaker 1>slept last night, and everything to do with how much

10
00:00:53.960 --> 00:01:00.200
<v Speaker 1>you have been holding without letting anyone see. That is

11
00:01:00.240 --> 00:01:03.479
<v Speaker 1>the kind of rest we are going to talk about today,

12
00:01:05.280 --> 00:01:10.120
<v Speaker 1>Not the rest of the body, the rest of the

13
00:01:10.239 --> 00:01:17.680
<v Speaker 1>soul sett linge. Let your body find the surface, be

14
00:01:17.719 --> 00:01:23.959
<v Speaker 1>in me, let it soften, Let your hands rest wherever

15
00:01:24.239 --> 00:01:28.920
<v Speaker 1>they want to rest, and let your eyes close or

16
00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:35.359
<v Speaker 1>soften or simply drift. There is nothing to do here,

17
00:01:36.439 --> 00:01:44.040
<v Speaker 1>nothing to perform, nothing to prove. Just this breath and

18
00:01:44.120 --> 00:01:48.920
<v Speaker 1>the next one and the one after that. When was

19
00:01:48.959 --> 00:01:53.879
<v Speaker 1>the last time you allowed yourself to truly rest? Not

20
00:01:54.040 --> 00:01:57.359
<v Speaker 1>the kind of rest where your body is still but

21
00:01:57.519 --> 00:02:01.760
<v Speaker 1>your mind is running through the list. Not the kind

22
00:02:01.799 --> 00:02:06.040
<v Speaker 1>of rest where you collapse into bed but wake up

23
00:02:06.319 --> 00:02:11.039
<v Speaker 1>feeling more tired than when you lay down. The kind

24
00:02:11.039 --> 00:02:15.199
<v Speaker 1>of rest were for a few minutes or a few hours,

25
00:02:16.199 --> 00:02:21.479
<v Speaker 1>you put down everything you have been caring. You stopped producing,

26
00:02:22.759 --> 00:02:28.039
<v Speaker 1>you stopped striving, you stopped earning your place in your

27
00:02:28.080 --> 00:02:31.879
<v Speaker 1>own life. For many of us, the answer is hard

28
00:02:31.879 --> 00:02:37.599
<v Speaker 1>to find. We have been taught that rest is something

29
00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:43.360
<v Speaker 1>we have to deserve, that it comes after we have

30
00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:52.800
<v Speaker 1>produced enough, accomplished enough, being enough, that it is the

31
00:02:52.840 --> 00:02:56.960
<v Speaker 1>reward at the end of a long list of shots,

32
00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:04.479
<v Speaker 1>and so we pushed through. We tell ourselves we will

33
00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:10.000
<v Speaker 1>rest when the work is done. We tell ourselves we

34
00:03:10.039 --> 00:03:13.599
<v Speaker 1>will rest when we have proven we can handle it.

35
00:03:15.919 --> 00:03:19.639
<v Speaker 1>We tell ourselves we will rest when we are no

36
00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:23.439
<v Speaker 1>longer needed. And by the time any of those conditions

37
00:03:23.560 --> 00:03:28.520
<v Speaker 1>are met, we have forgotten how But rest is not

38
00:03:28.599 --> 00:03:35.400
<v Speaker 1>a reward. Rest is a foundation. It is the soil

39
00:03:35.840 --> 00:03:41.960
<v Speaker 1>from which everything else grows. Without it, we do not

40
00:03:42.199 --> 00:03:48.400
<v Speaker 1>actually have anything to give. We are simply running on fumes,

41
00:03:49.719 --> 00:03:58.759
<v Speaker 1>convincing ourselves that fumes are enough. They are not. They

42
00:03:59.080 --> 00:04:04.680
<v Speaker 1>never are, And the longer we run on them, the

43
00:04:04.719 --> 00:04:11.000
<v Speaker 1>more depleted we become, until one day we wake up

44
00:04:12.159 --> 00:04:17.839
<v Speaker 1>and do not recognize the person in the mirror, until

45
00:04:17.879 --> 00:04:23.079
<v Speaker 1>one day we realize we have been leaving from the

46
00:04:23.120 --> 00:04:28.879
<v Speaker 1>outside inn performing a version of ourselves that does not

47
00:04:29.160 --> 00:05:03.759
<v Speaker 1>match the truth inside. I want to invite you to

48
00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:09.519
<v Speaker 1>consider this worthy for rest were not something you had

49
00:05:09.560 --> 00:05:14.360
<v Speaker 1>to earn. What if it were something you were allowed

50
00:05:14.439 --> 00:05:21.160
<v Speaker 1>to take simply because you're alive. What if your words

51
00:05:21.319 --> 00:05:25.319
<v Speaker 1>were not measured by what you produce, but by the

52
00:05:25.399 --> 00:05:31.600
<v Speaker 1>fact that you exist. What if the deepest kind of

53
00:05:31.839 --> 00:05:38.639
<v Speaker 1>productivity were not the constant doing, but the willingness to

54
00:05:38.720 --> 00:05:44.079
<v Speaker 1>be still. These are not small questions in a world

55
00:05:44.279 --> 00:05:51.639
<v Speaker 1>that measures us by output, by followers, by accomplishments, by

56
00:05:51.680 --> 00:05:56.759
<v Speaker 1>the speed at which we respond to emails. The idea

57
00:05:56.959 --> 00:06:01.399
<v Speaker 1>that we are valuable simply by being here is a

58
00:06:01.519 --> 00:06:08.000
<v Speaker 1>radical one. It goes against everything the cuature tells us.

59
00:06:09.199 --> 00:06:12.160
<v Speaker 1>It goes against the way most of us were raised.

60
00:06:13.720 --> 00:06:17.959
<v Speaker 1>And yet when I sit with it, when I let

61
00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:22.399
<v Speaker 1>it land in my body, it feels like the most

62
00:06:22.600 --> 00:06:26.279
<v Speaker 1>true thing I have ever heard. You do not have

63
00:06:26.360 --> 00:06:31.120
<v Speaker 1>to produce to be worthy. You do not have to

64
00:06:31.399 --> 00:06:36.839
<v Speaker 1>accomplish to be enough. You do not have to keep

65
00:06:36.920 --> 00:06:43.079
<v Speaker 1>going to deserve care. You are worthy because you are here.

66
00:06:44.720 --> 00:06:50.199
<v Speaker 1>You are enough because you are breathing. You deserve care

67
00:06:50.519 --> 00:06:56.279
<v Speaker 1>because you are a person, and that is what people deserve.

68
00:07:29.160 --> 00:07:33.800
<v Speaker 1>The exhaustion that does not respond to sleep usually has

69
00:07:33.839 --> 00:07:38.040
<v Speaker 1>something to do with this. It has to do with

70
00:07:38.199 --> 00:07:44.000
<v Speaker 1>the belief that we have to keep proving ourselves. It

71
00:07:44.120 --> 00:07:48.439
<v Speaker 1>has to do with a constant, low grade performance. We

72
00:07:48.519 --> 00:07:55.079
<v Speaker 1>are running even when no one is watching. The body

73
00:07:55.279 --> 00:07:59.920
<v Speaker 1>keeps the score as the saying goes, and the body

74
00:08:00.120 --> 00:08:06.120
<v Speaker 1>is tired of performing. The body is tired of being

75
00:08:06.199 --> 00:08:13.160
<v Speaker 1>the vehicle for someone else's expectations, even when those expectations

76
00:08:13.360 --> 00:08:17.839
<v Speaker 1>live inside our own heads. So today I want us

77
00:08:18.160 --> 00:08:22.800
<v Speaker 1>to practice a different kind of rest, not the kind

78
00:08:23.000 --> 00:08:28.920
<v Speaker 1>that comes at the end of accomplishment, the kind that

79
00:08:29.040 --> 00:08:35.360
<v Speaker 1>lives inside the accomplishment, the kind that is allowed to

80
00:08:35.480 --> 00:08:41.399
<v Speaker 1>exist at the same time as the doing, The kind

81
00:08:41.919 --> 00:08:50.200
<v Speaker 1>that does not require permission from anyone, including yourself. Bring

82
00:08:50.240 --> 00:08:55.519
<v Speaker 1>your attention to your breath, not to change it, just

83
00:08:55.799 --> 00:09:03.919
<v Speaker 1>to notice it. Notice the air coming in, Notice the

84
00:09:04.000 --> 00:09:09.960
<v Speaker 1>warm air going out. Notice the small pause at the

85
00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:14.799
<v Speaker 1>top of the inhale and the small pause at the

86
00:09:14.840 --> 00:09:19.399
<v Speaker 1>bottom of the miha hal. Noticed that the breath has

87
00:09:19.480 --> 00:09:24.440
<v Speaker 1>been doing this work for you automatically since the moment

88
00:09:24.840 --> 00:09:29.039
<v Speaker 1>you were born. You did not have to learn it.

89
00:09:29.799 --> 00:09:35.080
<v Speaker 1>You did not have to earn it. The breath simply happens,

90
00:09:35.399 --> 00:09:39.720
<v Speaker 1>and in the same way. The body knows how to rest.

91
00:09:40.559 --> 00:09:46.120
<v Speaker 1>The body knows how to soften. The body knows how

92
00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:51.559
<v Speaker 1>to release. It has been doing these things your whole life.

93
00:09:53.120 --> 00:09:56.679
<v Speaker 1>The only thing that gets in the way is the

94
00:09:56.799 --> 00:10:02.519
<v Speaker 1>mind that says you do not deserve it, The mind

95
00:10:02.600 --> 00:10:07.559
<v Speaker 1>that says there is too much to do, The mind

96
00:10:07.600 --> 00:10:13.159
<v Speaker 1>that says you will rest later. The mind that says

97
00:10:13.759 --> 00:10:48.360
<v Speaker 1>later never comes. I want to offer you a reframe.

98
00:10:50.240 --> 00:10:57.039
<v Speaker 1>Rest is not the opposite of productivity. Rest is the

99
00:10:57.080 --> 00:11:05.320
<v Speaker 1>soil from which productivity grows. The most creative ideas, the

100
00:11:05.320 --> 00:11:12.240
<v Speaker 1>most generous ads, the most loving words. They almost never

101
00:11:12.360 --> 00:11:17.799
<v Speaker 1>come from a depleted place. They come from a place

102
00:11:18.120 --> 00:11:25.320
<v Speaker 1>that has been given time to refill. They come from

103
00:11:25.360 --> 00:11:30.200
<v Speaker 1>a place that has been allowed to be still long

104
00:11:30.320 --> 00:11:42.399
<v Speaker 1>enough that something new can rise up from underneath. This

105
00:11:42.639 --> 00:11:47.840
<v Speaker 1>is what the natural world knows. The trees do not

106
00:11:48.120 --> 00:11:54.480
<v Speaker 1>produce leaves all year long. They have a season of rest.

107
00:11:55.519 --> 00:12:01.679
<v Speaker 1>The fields do not grow without lying fallow. The rivers

108
00:12:01.759 --> 00:12:06.799
<v Speaker 1>do not run without being fed by springs and rains

109
00:12:07.240 --> 00:12:12.799
<v Speaker 1>and quiet places where the water can gather before it moves.

110
00:12:14.080 --> 00:12:19.000
<v Speaker 1>We are part of this same natural world, we are

111
00:12:19.080 --> 00:12:25.840
<v Speaker 1>not separate from it, and we too need our seasons

112
00:12:25.879 --> 00:12:33.639
<v Speaker 1>of rest. We two need our fallow times. We too

113
00:12:34.360 --> 00:12:41.240
<v Speaker 1>need the quiet places where the water can gather. So

114
00:12:41.279 --> 00:12:45.759
<v Speaker 1>I want to invite you to claim rest as a

115
00:12:45.759 --> 00:12:50.559
<v Speaker 1>part of your practice, not as a reward at the

116
00:12:50.720 --> 00:12:55.440
<v Speaker 1>end of the list, as a part of the list itself,

117
00:12:57.559 --> 00:13:01.799
<v Speaker 1>as something you schedule the way you schedule the other

118
00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:07.720
<v Speaker 1>things that matter, as something you defend, even from yourself.

119
00:13:08.320 --> 00:13:12.240
<v Speaker 1>There is a story I love about a teacher who,

120
00:13:12.759 --> 00:13:17.279
<v Speaker 1>when asked what he did every day to keep himself whole,

121
00:13:18.080 --> 00:13:25.240
<v Speaker 1>said simply, I rest, not in the evenings, not on

122
00:13:25.279 --> 00:13:32.000
<v Speaker 1>the weekends, throughout the day, in small moments, I let

123
00:13:32.039 --> 00:13:37.799
<v Speaker 1>myself come back to myself. I let the doing pause,

124
00:13:39.559 --> 00:13:45.600
<v Speaker 1>I let the striving pause. I let the proving pause,

125
00:13:47.360 --> 00:13:53.679
<v Speaker 1>and in that pause, I remember who I am underneath

126
00:13:54.039 --> 00:13:57.480
<v Speaker 1>all of it. This is why we are practicing today,

127
00:13:59.279 --> 00:14:06.879
<v Speaker 1>noticing the pause, letting the pause be enough, letting the

128
00:14:06.960 --> 00:14:13.279
<v Speaker 1>pause refill the cup, and trusting that what is done

129
00:14:13.480 --> 00:14:21.159
<v Speaker 1>from the pause is better, kinder, more true than what

130
00:14:21.399 --> 00:14:24.559
<v Speaker 1>is done from the running. Notice what is happening in

131
00:14:24.600 --> 00:14:31.120
<v Speaker 1>your body right now. Notice the shoulders, notice the jaw,

132
00:14:33.080 --> 00:14:37.240
<v Speaker 1>Notice the small places you might be holding without knowing

133
00:14:37.320 --> 00:14:41.639
<v Speaker 1>you are holding. You do not have to do anything

134
00:14:41.720 --> 00:14:47.559
<v Speaker 1>with them, Just notice them, just allow them to be there,

135
00:14:49.240 --> 00:14:54.039
<v Speaker 1>and know that noticing is itself a kind of rest.

136
00:14:55.039 --> 00:14:59.519
<v Speaker 1>It is the mind stopping it's chasing, and the body

137
00:15:00.039 --> 00:15:48.320
<v Speaker 1>being allowed to be. One of the things I have

138
00:15:48.519 --> 00:15:51.960
<v Speaker 1>noticed in my own life and in the lives of

139
00:15:52.080 --> 00:15:57.720
<v Speaker 1>people I love, is that we often mistake exhaustion for importance.

140
00:15:58.840 --> 00:16:03.360
<v Speaker 1>We feel busy, so we feel needed. We feel tired

141
00:16:03.919 --> 00:16:09.440
<v Speaker 1>so we feel significant. We feel overwhelmed so we feel

142
00:16:09.480 --> 00:16:14.759
<v Speaker 1>like we are doing something that matters. And the culture

143
00:16:15.159 --> 00:16:23.720
<v Speaker 1>reinforces this. The culture celebrates the busy, The culture rewards

144
00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:30.759
<v Speaker 1>the depleted. The culture treats rest as something only the

145
00:16:30.879 --> 00:16:37.240
<v Speaker 1>lazy or the unsuccessful can afford. But this is a lie,

146
00:16:37.639 --> 00:16:46.159
<v Speaker 1>a gentle, well intentioned lie, but a lie. Nonetheless, the

147
00:16:46.200 --> 00:16:50.879
<v Speaker 1>truth is that the people who change the world are

148
00:16:50.919 --> 00:16:56.600
<v Speaker 1>almost never the ones running on fumes. They are the

149
00:16:56.679 --> 00:17:02.440
<v Speaker 1>ones who knew how to come back to themselves. They

150
00:17:02.519 --> 00:17:07.559
<v Speaker 1>are the ones who knew how to refeel. They are

151
00:17:07.599 --> 00:17:12.960
<v Speaker 1>the ones who could see clearly because they had given

152
00:17:13.039 --> 00:17:17.359
<v Speaker 1>themselves the gift of stillness. You do not have to

153
00:17:17.480 --> 00:17:22.240
<v Speaker 1>change the world. You just have to live your life.

154
00:17:23.039 --> 00:17:26.640
<v Speaker 1>And to live your life well, you need to be

155
00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:33.279
<v Speaker 1>in it. You need to be present for it. You

156
00:17:33.400 --> 00:17:38.200
<v Speaker 1>need to be rested enough that you can actually receive

157
00:17:38.559 --> 00:17:42.599
<v Speaker 1>the moment you are in instead of running through it

158
00:17:43.240 --> 00:17:48.279
<v Speaker 1>toward the next one. So take this as a permission

159
00:17:48.359 --> 00:17:55.720
<v Speaker 1>slip if you need one. Rest is allowed, rest is required.

160
00:17:57.160 --> 00:18:01.960
<v Speaker 1>Rest is the way you come back to yourself. And

161
00:18:02.079 --> 00:18:06.960
<v Speaker 1>the self that comes back after rest is the self

162
00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:13.039
<v Speaker 1>that can do anything. The self that comes back after

163
00:18:13.160 --> 00:18:17.559
<v Speaker 1>rest is the self that knows what matters and what

164
00:18:17.799 --> 00:18:23.960
<v Speaker 1>does not. The self that comes back after rest is

165
00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:57.640
<v Speaker 1>the self that the world needs. Let us sit here

166
00:18:57.960 --> 00:19:03.599
<v Speaker 1>a little longer. Let the practice settle into the body,

167
00:19:05.640 --> 00:19:12.480
<v Speaker 1>Let the breath continue its quiet work. Let the shoulders

168
00:19:12.640 --> 00:19:20.920
<v Speaker 1>soften a little more, Let the jaw release, Let the

169
00:19:21.000 --> 00:19:27.240
<v Speaker 1>eyes be soft behind the lids. Let the whole being

170
00:19:27.599 --> 00:19:35.400
<v Speaker 1>remember what it feels like to not be running. There

171
00:19:35.480 --> 00:19:41.440
<v Speaker 1>is nothing to do, nothing to fix, nothing to figure out.

172
00:19:42.799 --> 00:19:50.440
<v Speaker 1>Just this breath, just this body, just this moment, just

173
00:19:50.559 --> 00:19:56.519
<v Speaker 1>you being here, in all your tiredness and all your beauty.

174
00:19:58.039 --> 00:20:05.720
<v Speaker 1>That is enough, That has always been enough. The world

175
00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:11.400
<v Speaker 1>will wake, the list will wait, the proving will wait.

176
00:20:13.640 --> 00:21:03.640
<v Speaker 1>Right now, you are allowed to just be when you

177
00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:10.599
<v Speaker 1>are ready, Gently bring your attention back, wiggle your fingers,

178
00:21:12.160 --> 00:21:16.799
<v Speaker 1>feel the surface beneath you, take a sip of water

179
00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:21.599
<v Speaker 1>if you have it, and as you move back into

180
00:21:21.640 --> 00:21:27.640
<v Speaker 1>your day, carry this with you. The permission to rest

181
00:21:28.039 --> 00:21:32.480
<v Speaker 1>does not expire when you stand up. It does not

182
00:21:32.839 --> 00:21:39.440
<v Speaker 1>end when the meditation ends. It is yours always to

183
00:21:39.559 --> 00:21:44.200
<v Speaker 1>claim again whenever you need. You are allowed to rest,

184
00:21:44.720 --> 00:21:50.119
<v Speaker 1>not later, not when the work is done. Now, in

185
00:21:50.200 --> 00:21:54.359
<v Speaker 1>the middle of the doing, in the middle of the meeting,

186
00:21:55.599 --> 00:22:01.000
<v Speaker 1>in the middle of the ordinary, unglamorous, beautiful moments of

187
00:22:01.119 --> 00:22:07.279
<v Speaker 1>your life, you are allowed to take a breath. You

188
00:22:07.359 --> 00:22:12.200
<v Speaker 1>are allowed to close your eyes for thirty seconds. You

189
00:22:12.279 --> 00:22:16.359
<v Speaker 1>are allowed to put the phone down. You are allowed

190
00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:20.960
<v Speaker 1>to step away. You are allowed to be a person

191
00:22:22.200 --> 00:22:26.839
<v Speaker 1>with a body that needs care instead of a machine

192
00:22:27.319 --> 00:22:32.599
<v Speaker 1>that needs to keep producing. Thank you for being here.

193
00:22:33.759 --> 00:22:38.799
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for choosing, even for these few minutes, to

194
00:22:38.880 --> 00:22:45.079
<v Speaker 1>put everything down. Thank you for letting yourself be still.

195
00:22:47.400 --> 00:22:52.160
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for letting yourself be held by your own breath,

196
00:22:53.480 --> 00:22:59.559
<v Speaker 1>by your own presence, by the quiet that is always

197
00:22:59.680 --> 00:23:06.640
<v Speaker 1>available when you stop to listen for it until next time.

198
00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:12.319
<v Speaker 1>Be gentle with yourself. Rest is not a reward you

199
00:23:12.440 --> 00:23:16.680
<v Speaker 1>have to earn. It is the foundation you are allowed

200
00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:21.559
<v Speaker 1>to build your life on. Take it it is yours.

201
00:23:21.880 --> 00:23:27.079
<v Speaker 1>No must stay, no must stay now, must stay. No

202
00:23:27.319 --> 00:23:29.640
<v Speaker 1>must stay now, must stay