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Speaker 1: When your old career gives you lemons throwing some ice

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mix in some vodka. Call it a podcast from the

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Mac of All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by

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Victor Chrysler Dods, Jupe Ram. It's Billified, the Bill Moran Podcast. Well,

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hello and welcome. Thank you forgetting your pot on. Thanks

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for on a friend. That's how we spread the word

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about the pirate ship. I no, really don't tell you

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when I'm recording this. That's the beauty of podcasts, right

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because when I was on the radio, you knew if

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you liked what we did, or any shows I was

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part of, you knew when they started, you knew when

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they ended. For the podcast, as long as there's consistency

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and it's out when it needs to be out. This

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is being recorded at twelve twenty three am on Wednesday,

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February eighteenth. Why you ask, what is going on? I'm

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having a crisis and I needed in here to talk

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to you. No, it was one of these things where

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as I've told many people, I'm in grad school for

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mental health counseling, which was something that I'll say chose me.

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I didn't necessarily choose it, just the opportunity was there,

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and I'm not risk adverse as a human being. I'm

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not realse and I think a lot of that has

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to do with the traumas that I've had over life,

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and it's taken me a lot. I will tell you

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that these classes are are sometimes very very challenging to

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me because you have to do a lot of self

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reflection and nobody really wants to examine themselves. And that's

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one of the things I want to talk about tonight,

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because we live in such a paranoid state all the

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time of different things. But to that end, I will

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say that the self reflection stuff is important. And then

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when I look back and I go, yeah, I like

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things that would take my mind off my problems, much

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like people who people get stressed out, and often I

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would hear in my circles. I'm not saying it's in

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every circle, but substitute whatever it is in there. What

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a day, I need a drink, right and that why

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because that helps us get away. And then there are

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people who take that I need to drink too far

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and they lose everything. But I think that the self

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reflection stuff is very important and one of the things

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I've realized about myself was you would overcompensate for your

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inadequacies or trying to hide things by making people laugh

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and doing outrageous things, or you love to do things

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that many people would say are very risky. Why because

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it was the closest thing to zen. Go one hundred

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and thirty miles and to turn one and walk in

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this glen and you're not thinking about anything else but

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that moment right there, do one hundred and fifty miles

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an hour down a drag strip for a quarter mile,

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and you're not thinking of anything else, and it is

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absolute elation and an unbelievable adrenaline rush. But for those moments,

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you're not thinking of anything else but you the car,

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and you just can't think of anything else. And it's

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a very zen thing. And that's where meditation some people

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look at a little cock eyed. It's supposed to be

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that you just don't think of anything. You're supposed to

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just sort of empty your brain and when something pops up,

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you release it. If you can't do that, sometimes these

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activities are great. Boxing is a great thing because in

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that moment, all I'm thinking about is my opponent and

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how I score points. It should be about how I

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score points, not knock somebody out, necessarily get points from

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head to waste. But those things are important, and I

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think it's good for us to all take a moment

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and sort of look at ourselves and understand that one

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of the things that we all share. Because you often

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hear like we're all one. Oh, it sure doesn't likely

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we treat each other as all one, but okay, and

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if that's the case, we do have a shared human experience.

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And so no matter where you are in life or

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the socioeconomic brackets or whatever, you got a commonality. And

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we sometimes need to recognize that. What I wanted to

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come in here and talk about at twelve now twenty

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six in the morning as a sip a coptail is

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but I had grad school. I didn't get in here today,

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and I wanted to do this, and I thought, you

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know what, I'm going to do it. And I know

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that tomorrow I'm doing something with my son and I'll

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still be able to get up and do it. And

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I'm going to say this, and I hope everybody it

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resonates with you. Stop saying you only live once. You

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only die once, So live right? You only live once? Yes,

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I understand that no, you only die once that we're

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aware of, at least in this life. You only die once?

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So what are you going to do? What are you

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doing with your dash? Right? You hear that between the

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year you were born in the year you exit, what

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are you doing? So if you feel like you got

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to say something, come in and say it and then

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still go do the thing with your kid the next day.

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You're stronger than you think you are. I have here's

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something that was bothering me. And then people that I've

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talked to you about this brought up examples where it

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may be true. But I'm talking more on a micro

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personal level, not a macro level, not a big celebrity

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level as much, but it will bring up those examples

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as well. It's when you hear someone say they I

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don't know who they are, but they were in on

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it from the beginning, whether it's you being excluded from

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a group activity with your friends or it was a

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job thing, they were in on it from the beginning.

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And when people say that, they often say like they

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crack the Da Vinci code, you know what I mean,

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And the they it turns out to be like maybe

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three co workers that didn't invite you to lunch or

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you know, I don't know three cousins of yours that

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didn't recognize you at Christmas time and they were in

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on it together. And I think we love conspiracy because

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if people plan to screw us over, at least it

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makes sense random chaos. That's way scarier like when it's

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just sort of random something we can't control. And I

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mean I grew up in a home where it was said,

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when nothing makes sense, something makes sense, almost an oxymoronic

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statement and a sort of but the problem was dig deeper.

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There's something else going on, and you hear it all

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the time. Follow the money, you know. I was just

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talking to somebody earlier tonight about ozembic and the GLP ones, right,

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and they're being pushed everywhere. Why Well, probably because somebody's

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making a lot of money off of it. That would

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be the underlying thing. But what it also does is

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I haven't heard a whole lot of people talking about

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body positivity as much because a lot of the people

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who talked about positive body positivity they got ozebic and

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they lost a lot of weight. Okay, there's nothing wrong

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with that, that's fine, But we love a conspiracy, So

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even there. Now, there are conspiracies that people have talked

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about for years. I'm going to bring up two celebrity ones,

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one ray J and Kim Kardashian the sex tape. Ray

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J has said for twenty years that the Kardashians were

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in on it, that Chris Kardashian, the mom, arranged the

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whole thing. The leaked tape wasn't leaked, it was released

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by her. Could that be true? His story hasn't changed,

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and people are starting to go, oh, yeah, well what happens?

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Ray J sort of became this guy that I don't know, man,

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you filmed yourself and blah blah blah, and Kim went

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on to build an empire. Maybe that would have happened anyway.

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I don't know. But it's one of those things where

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they weren't in on it the whole time. Well why

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does that? Why do we say that? Because if something

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really hurts, like even in the ray J situation, there

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has to be villain. Another great example was like what

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happened in the Super Bowl many years ago when Janet

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Jackson's tit popped out and it was why is his

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name escaping me? Justin Timberlake, who had ripped off the shirt, right,

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But the one who kind of paid the price and

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hung on all this was Janet. I think she was

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disinvited from the Grabbies that year, I mean over a

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boob and Justin had nothing happened to him, but he

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never stood up and said anything or even tried to

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help out, So it you could go, well, they were

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in on it the whole time. Maybe I don't know,

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but certainly hindsight, what is this saying hindsight's twenty twenty.

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Those are extreme big cases where yes, it seems to

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make sense decades later, right. I think now for many people,

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Justin Timberlake's a bad guy. After the brittan a documentary

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came out and whatever was said that. But I think

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if it's just you and me and just random people,

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when we feel like it's either just a random thing

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that just kind of coincidentally happened, or we want to

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say it was intent over an accident, right, that makes better.

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You know, betrayal over coincidence. You betrayed me, it was

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just a coincidence that you didn't call me that night. Whatever,

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uh plot somebody plotted it over. You're just incompetent and

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you couldn't do your job. Randomness of just anything, I

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think for most human beings feels very unsafe. So think

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about this. A relationship ends, there's usually a villain, right,

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And I think if you talk to divorce attorneys, and

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this is probably very true, but like somebody in the

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marriage was out a year ago, like they kind of knew,

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so they were in on it the whole time. Because

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it feels better than to say, well, maybe I had

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a hand in this, right not getting hired somewhere they

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were in on it the whole time, or I didn't

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get the promotion. Sometimes there's reasons why. Sometimes there's not

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being left out socially feels terrible, right, workplace shifts not

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always great. They planned it instead of maybe it just

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didn't work out this time. And I think we want

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to control things, but twisted control is still control, right,

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so we can know that, hey, at least then there's

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a reason why this happened. And the only reason I

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say that is when I heard this story and and

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kind of the chain reaction of people trying to find

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out were people really in on this? Whatever this happens

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to be filling your own But for the example that

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I'm talking about, I go boy, you're burning a lot

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of calor is on something that just doesn't matter, but

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yet it matters to you. And again, it can't be randomness,

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can't be chaos. It's got to be something that makes sense, right,

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And I often't say, and I've been saying this a

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lot lately, when an argument dissolves into name calling, I'll say,

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it used to be. It feels like it used to

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be the intellectual eject button that was when you were

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out of shit to say so now boom. And you know,

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when we're wrong it hurts, Or when we're wrong, it hurts, right,

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but even having to admit we were wrong sometimes for

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our own ego it hurts. Or admitting we misjudged a situation,

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it hurts. Admitting that we weren't chosen for something sucks. Man,

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that sucks, and our ego goes, Nope, it's a setup.

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Motherfucker's digging. But I think conspiracy in those situations protects

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identity and again take it down to like a personal

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level in some way, right, it keeps us feeling victimized

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but righteous. And that's what usually happens. And we can

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all think of people we know that it's always something

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that's happening in their life where they are the victim,

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but it's a but they're the righteous victim. You know,

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they're blameless in a situation. And it's a seductive feeling

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to have that. I believe it's a really seductive feeling

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because it makes us not have to take accountability, which

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I often say is a word that makes you feel

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like you're in trouble. I think when people said you

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got to take accountability instead of stepping back and going,

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I'm going to own right, and then a big thing

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we hear you gotta own your shit, you gotta yeah,

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you kind of do. And the phrase they were in

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on it almost always shows up when someone feels embarrassed,

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or when someone feels rejected, or when someone feels exposed,

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or someone feels small. You weren't small, you were targeted.

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It feels so much better. You had a target on

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your back. Man, you knew they were coming for you,

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that person right, or they weren't in on it all

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the time. This couldn't have been just one person. Other

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people had to know that this was going to happen.

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They had to know that that's thing, that's an armor,

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It protects you. I totally get it, and our modern

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culture fucking amplify, amplifies, excuse me, it was a drink,

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amplifies the shit out of this. I really do, because again,

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when you think about where a name calling used to

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be the intellectual eject button in an argument, Now it's

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like you won the room, right, You're like it becomes

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it's rewarding outrage. That's what the algorithm does when there's outrage,

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if more people are watching it. And any time there's outrage,

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there's usually a villain, right, somebody on the other side,

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a group, a person, a whatever, the man, it's always

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on the other side, and villains create a narrative. So

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it makes it easier then and more understandable, more digestible

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for us because we couldn't possibly And I think that

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the narrative of that creates belonging because the one thing

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we don't ever want to feel is isolated and alone.

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We like knowing what's to say. Misery loves company and

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when there's people going, oh yeah, absolutely, man, they were

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out to get you the whole time. Because being betrayed

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feels bad, being part of a group that knows the

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betrayal that feels like power. I've got my I've got

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my tribe, I've got my stuff. Hey, if you just

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look at the the world today, you know, I think

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we said this the other night. Uh. It used to

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be about like a sports team. If you say the

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Buffalo Bills suck, I'm a die hard Bills fan, you're

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you're that's that's personal. That's a personal attack. Well now

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it's it's like everything, no matter what team you're on, political,

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not political, whatever, When somebody does that, it feels like

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you're being attacked and that and that's the problem. And

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there are times where I think you got to kind

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of realize that you assume something might have been intentional

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that later turned out to be just life. Do you

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ever have that? And it's almost like a relief, right

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because you go, did they not call me? What did

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I do? Why am I? Why am I being left out?

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How come they don't talk to me anyway? Uh? You know?

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Or it's as simple as this sports bad call, right,

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bad call? Then it becomes it's a lead conspiracy. They

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want this team to win. It's the year that they

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want that. You know, they don't want us in there.

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They don't they don't want that. How many times have

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we heard for example, probably the most popular sport in

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this country, National Football League. Right, all of a sudden,

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it's like, we have conspiracies to where the colors of

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the super Bowl poster are going to be. Those are

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the teams that will be in the super Bowl. Even

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when it doesn't come, we go. Well, they were close,

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they were close, but you know what, they knew we

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were onto their conspiracy, so they changed it. I can't

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I can't get behind them. But all right, even here,

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like if a podcast booking falls through, you can't take

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it personal. Well, they were doing it all along. Yeah,

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they went on someony else's podcast. They just they don't

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even you know, like somebody calls you up at the

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last minute says, listen, I need to change the plans.

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My kid got sick or I have some kind of

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personal thing going on that I wasn't aware of. Can

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I give you a rain check? And then it's automatically

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it must be they don't like me, they don't do

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It's like, come on, man, nobody has that much time.

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Nobody has that much time. Sometimes nobody's in on it.

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Sometimes we're just uncomfortable, and that's the bigger thing. So

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are these other things where we could look at it,

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and it's sort of interesting over the ray A thing,

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especially now that somebody's built a billion dollar empire and

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some other guy is kind of like floundering. Sure, maybe

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they weren't in on it. Maybe there was a leak

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thing and they thought, well, if we do this, if

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we do it right, we could really want something. I

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don't know. It seems like a lot of forethought of

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something that could or couldn't happen. If it didn't happen,

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we probably wouldn't hear that. But it did happen, meaning

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that they built a billion dollar empire. I'm just saying,

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sometimes nobody's in on it, you know, and sometimes we're

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just uncomfortable and we don't want to be and it

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doesn't make sense to us because we don't like randomness

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and we don't like chaos. You know. Sometimes it's not

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a conspiracy, it's just poor communication and an overworked HR department.

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I don't fucking know. You know, if three people don't

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text you back, that's not a cabal, that's Tuesday. You

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can live in a world where everyone's plotting, or you

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can live in a world where sometimes things just happen,

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and if you're walking around saying that, just think about

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that's what I mean again. I get it. Janet Jackson thing,

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the Ray j the sex tape. Maybe certainly seems like

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some people did better than others in those situations. Maybe

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that there was some kind of thing like, hey, we're

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gonna try this and if it goes sideways, you're gonna

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hang on it. But you can live in a world

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where everyone's plotting, or you can live in a world

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where sometimes things just happen. One of those worlds makes

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you guarded. The other one, in my opinion, makes you free,

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so you can live any way you want. But when

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I heard this and it happened to be with people

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that I know, they were in on it all along.

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They were in on it all along, Yeah, because what

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happened didn't jive with you, didn't jive with your life,

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didn't jive with the way you wanted to be treated,

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the way you thought you should be respected, and so

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therefore they had to be in on it. Or you

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can just live free and realize sometimes things just happen

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and they don't work out your choice. Thanks for hanging

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in there for a short little podcast. It's now about

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twelve forty five in the morning. I hope it makes sense.

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I really do, because boy, when I heard this, it

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bothered me because I know the people involved, and you

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go the other thing. I'll tell I'll tell you this.

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When you hear that word, when you hear that word

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or that phrase, they were in on it the whole time.

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Sometimes I'm telling you, look for the pattern, look at

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the person that's saying it, and realize that. And sometimes

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it is just randomness or a shitty situation that went wrong,

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or poor communication along the way. But let's not all

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victimize ourselves, even if it feels better in the moment.

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In the long run, you kind of knows a land

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of opportuna tea for me is just a curse of

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tell that child didn't make a steel. But I don't

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have to wait. You gotta need a looking for cattle

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that would Tennessee. Please sh