Speaker 1: When your old career gives you lemons throwing some ice
mix in some vodka. Call it a podcast from the
Mac of All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by
Victor Chrysler Dods, Jupe Ram. It's Billified, the Bill Moran Podcast. Well,
hello and welcome. Thank you forgetting your pot on. Thanks
for on a friend. That's how we spread the word
about the pirate ship. I no, really don't tell you
when I'm recording this. That's the beauty of podcasts, right
because when I was on the radio, you knew if
you liked what we did, or any shows I was
part of, you knew when they started, you knew when
they ended. For the podcast, as long as there's consistency
and it's out when it needs to be out. This
is being recorded at twelve twenty three am on Wednesday,
February eighteenth. Why you ask, what is going on? I'm
having a crisis and I needed in here to talk
to you. No, it was one of these things where
as I've told many people, I'm in grad school for
mental health counseling, which was something that I'll say chose me.
I didn't necessarily choose it, just the opportunity was there,
and I'm not risk adverse as a human being. I'm
not realse and I think a lot of that has
to do with the traumas that I've had over life,
and it's taken me a lot. I will tell you
that these classes are are sometimes very very challenging to
me because you have to do a lot of self
reflection and nobody really wants to examine themselves. And that's
one of the things I want to talk about tonight,
because we live in such a paranoid state all the
time of different things. But to that end, I will
say that the self reflection stuff is important. And then
when I look back and I go, yeah, I like
things that would take my mind off my problems, much
like people who people get stressed out, and often I
would hear in my circles. I'm not saying it's in
every circle, but substitute whatever it is in there. What
a day, I need a drink, right and that why
because that helps us get away. And then there are
people who take that I need to drink too far
and they lose everything. But I think that the self
reflection stuff is very important and one of the things
I've realized about myself was you would overcompensate for your
inadequacies or trying to hide things by making people laugh
and doing outrageous things, or you love to do things
that many people would say are very risky. Why because
it was the closest thing to zen. Go one hundred
and thirty miles and to turn one and walk in
this glen and you're not thinking about anything else but
that moment right there, do one hundred and fifty miles
an hour down a drag strip for a quarter mile,
and you're not thinking of anything else, and it is
absolute elation and an unbelievable adrenaline rush. But for those moments,
you're not thinking of anything else but you the car,
and you just can't think of anything else. And it's
a very zen thing. And that's where meditation some people
look at a little cock eyed. It's supposed to be
that you just don't think of anything. You're supposed to
just sort of empty your brain and when something pops up,
you release it. If you can't do that, sometimes these
activities are great. Boxing is a great thing because in
that moment, all I'm thinking about is my opponent and
how I score points. It should be about how I
score points, not knock somebody out, necessarily get points from
head to waste. But those things are important, and I
think it's good for us to all take a moment
and sort of look at ourselves and understand that one
of the things that we all share. Because you often
hear like we're all one. Oh, it sure doesn't likely
we treat each other as all one, but okay, and
if that's the case, we do have a shared human experience.
And so no matter where you are in life or
the socioeconomic brackets or whatever, you got a commonality. And
we sometimes need to recognize that. What I wanted to
come in here and talk about at twelve now twenty
six in the morning as a sip a coptail is
but I had grad school. I didn't get in here today,
and I wanted to do this, and I thought, you
know what, I'm going to do it. And I know
that tomorrow I'm doing something with my son and I'll
still be able to get up and do it. And
I'm going to say this, and I hope everybody it
resonates with you. Stop saying you only live once. You
only die once, So live right? You only live once? Yes,
I understand that no, you only die once that we're
aware of, at least in this life. You only die once?
So what are you going to do? What are you
doing with your dash? Right? You hear that between the
year you were born in the year you exit, what
are you doing? So if you feel like you got
to say something, come in and say it and then
still go do the thing with your kid the next day.
You're stronger than you think you are. I have here's
something that was bothering me. And then people that I've
talked to you about this brought up examples where it
may be true. But I'm talking more on a micro
personal level, not a macro level, not a big celebrity
level as much, but it will bring up those examples
as well. It's when you hear someone say they I
don't know who they are, but they were in on
it from the beginning, whether it's you being excluded from
a group activity with your friends or it was a
job thing, they were in on it from the beginning.
And when people say that, they often say like they
crack the Da Vinci code, you know what I mean,
And the they it turns out to be like maybe
three co workers that didn't invite you to lunch or
you know, I don't know three cousins of yours that
didn't recognize you at Christmas time and they were in
on it together. And I think we love conspiracy because
if people plan to screw us over, at least it
makes sense random chaos. That's way scarier like when it's
just sort of random something we can't control. And I
mean I grew up in a home where it was said,
when nothing makes sense, something makes sense, almost an oxymoronic
statement and a sort of but the problem was dig deeper.
There's something else going on, and you hear it all
the time. Follow the money, you know. I was just
talking to somebody earlier tonight about ozembic and the GLP ones, right,
and they're being pushed everywhere. Why Well, probably because somebody's
making a lot of money off of it. That would
be the underlying thing. But what it also does is
I haven't heard a whole lot of people talking about
body positivity as much because a lot of the people
who talked about positive body positivity they got ozebic and
they lost a lot of weight. Okay, there's nothing wrong
with that, that's fine, But we love a conspiracy, So
even there. Now, there are conspiracies that people have talked
about for years. I'm going to bring up two celebrity ones,
one ray J and Kim Kardashian the sex tape. Ray
J has said for twenty years that the Kardashians were
in on it, that Chris Kardashian, the mom, arranged the
whole thing. The leaked tape wasn't leaked, it was released
by her. Could that be true? His story hasn't changed,
and people are starting to go, oh, yeah, well what happens?
Ray J sort of became this guy that I don't know, man,
you filmed yourself and blah blah blah, and Kim went
on to build an empire. Maybe that would have happened anyway.
I don't know. But it's one of those things where
they weren't in on it the whole time. Well why
does that? Why do we say that? Because if something
really hurts, like even in the ray J situation, there
has to be villain. Another great example was like what
happened in the Super Bowl many years ago when Janet
Jackson's tit popped out and it was why is his
name escaping me? Justin Timberlake, who had ripped off the shirt, right,
But the one who kind of paid the price and
hung on all this was Janet. I think she was
disinvited from the Grabbies that year, I mean over a
boob and Justin had nothing happened to him, but he
never stood up and said anything or even tried to
help out, So it you could go, well, they were
in on it the whole time. Maybe I don't know,
but certainly hindsight, what is this saying hindsight's twenty twenty.
Those are extreme big cases where yes, it seems to
make sense decades later, right. I think now for many people,
Justin Timberlake's a bad guy. After the brittan a documentary
came out and whatever was said that. But I think
if it's just you and me and just random people,
when we feel like it's either just a random thing
that just kind of coincidentally happened, or we want to
say it was intent over an accident, right, that makes better.
You know, betrayal over coincidence. You betrayed me, it was
just a coincidence that you didn't call me that night. Whatever,
uh plot somebody plotted it over. You're just incompetent and
you couldn't do your job. Randomness of just anything, I
think for most human beings feels very unsafe. So think
about this. A relationship ends, there's usually a villain, right,
And I think if you talk to divorce attorneys, and
this is probably very true, but like somebody in the
marriage was out a year ago, like they kind of knew,
so they were in on it the whole time. Because
it feels better than to say, well, maybe I had
a hand in this, right not getting hired somewhere they
were in on it the whole time, or I didn't
get the promotion. Sometimes there's reasons why. Sometimes there's not
being left out socially feels terrible, right, workplace shifts not
always great. They planned it instead of maybe it just
didn't work out this time. And I think we want
to control things, but twisted control is still control, right,
so we can know that, hey, at least then there's
a reason why this happened. And the only reason I
say that is when I heard this story and and
kind of the chain reaction of people trying to find
out were people really in on this? Whatever this happens
to be filling your own But for the example that
I'm talking about, I go boy, you're burning a lot
of calor is on something that just doesn't matter, but
yet it matters to you. And again, it can't be randomness,
can't be chaos. It's got to be something that makes sense, right,
And I often't say, and I've been saying this a
lot lately, when an argument dissolves into name calling, I'll say,
it used to be. It feels like it used to
be the intellectual eject button that was when you were
out of shit to say so now boom. And you know,
when we're wrong it hurts, Or when we're wrong, it hurts, right,
but even having to admit we were wrong sometimes for
our own ego it hurts. Or admitting we misjudged a situation,
it hurts. Admitting that we weren't chosen for something sucks. Man,
that sucks, and our ego goes, Nope, it's a setup.
Motherfucker's digging. But I think conspiracy in those situations protects
identity and again take it down to like a personal
level in some way, right, it keeps us feeling victimized
but righteous. And that's what usually happens. And we can
all think of people we know that it's always something
that's happening in their life where they are the victim,
but it's a but they're the righteous victim. You know,
they're blameless in a situation. And it's a seductive feeling
to have that. I believe it's a really seductive feeling
because it makes us not have to take accountability, which
I often say is a word that makes you feel
like you're in trouble. I think when people said you
got to take accountability instead of stepping back and going,
I'm going to own right, and then a big thing
we hear you gotta own your shit, you gotta yeah,
you kind of do. And the phrase they were in
on it almost always shows up when someone feels embarrassed,
or when someone feels rejected, or when someone feels exposed,
or someone feels small. You weren't small, you were targeted.
It feels so much better. You had a target on
your back. Man, you knew they were coming for you,
that person right, or they weren't in on it all
the time. This couldn't have been just one person. Other
people had to know that this was going to happen.
They had to know that that's thing, that's an armor,
It protects you. I totally get it, and our modern
culture fucking amplify, amplifies, excuse me, it was a drink,
amplifies the shit out of this. I really do, because again,
when you think about where a name calling used to
be the intellectual eject button in an argument, Now it's
like you won the room, right, You're like it becomes
it's rewarding outrage. That's what the algorithm does when there's outrage,
if more people are watching it. And any time there's outrage,
there's usually a villain, right, somebody on the other side,
a group, a person, a whatever, the man, it's always
on the other side, and villains create a narrative. So
it makes it easier then and more understandable, more digestible
for us because we couldn't possibly And I think that
the narrative of that creates belonging because the one thing
we don't ever want to feel is isolated and alone.
We like knowing what's to say. Misery loves company and
when there's people going, oh yeah, absolutely, man, they were
out to get you the whole time. Because being betrayed
feels bad, being part of a group that knows the
betrayal that feels like power. I've got my I've got
my tribe, I've got my stuff. Hey, if you just
look at the the world today, you know, I think
we said this the other night. Uh. It used to
be about like a sports team. If you say the
Buffalo Bills suck, I'm a die hard Bills fan, you're
you're that's that's personal. That's a personal attack. Well now
it's it's like everything, no matter what team you're on, political,
not political, whatever, When somebody does that, it feels like
you're being attacked and that and that's the problem. And
there are times where I think you got to kind
of realize that you assume something might have been intentional
that later turned out to be just life. Do you
ever have that? And it's almost like a relief, right
because you go, did they not call me? What did
I do? Why am I? Why am I being left out?
How come they don't talk to me anyway? Uh? You know?
Or it's as simple as this sports bad call, right,
bad call? Then it becomes it's a lead conspiracy. They
want this team to win. It's the year that they
want that. You know, they don't want us in there.
They don't they don't want that. How many times have
we heard for example, probably the most popular sport in
this country, National Football League. Right, all of a sudden,
it's like, we have conspiracies to where the colors of
the super Bowl poster are going to be. Those are
the teams that will be in the super Bowl. Even
when it doesn't come, we go. Well, they were close,
they were close, but you know what, they knew we
were onto their conspiracy, so they changed it. I can't
I can't get behind them. But all right, even here,
like if a podcast booking falls through, you can't take
it personal. Well, they were doing it all along. Yeah,
they went on someony else's podcast. They just they don't
even you know, like somebody calls you up at the
last minute says, listen, I need to change the plans.
My kid got sick or I have some kind of
personal thing going on that I wasn't aware of. Can
I give you a rain check? And then it's automatically
it must be they don't like me, they don't do
It's like, come on, man, nobody has that much time.
Nobody has that much time. Sometimes nobody's in on it.
Sometimes we're just uncomfortable, and that's the bigger thing. So
are these other things where we could look at it,
and it's sort of interesting over the ray A thing,
especially now that somebody's built a billion dollar empire and
some other guy is kind of like floundering. Sure, maybe
they weren't in on it. Maybe there was a leak
thing and they thought, well, if we do this, if
we do it right, we could really want something. I
don't know. It seems like a lot of forethought of
something that could or couldn't happen. If it didn't happen,
we probably wouldn't hear that. But it did happen, meaning
that they built a billion dollar empire. I'm just saying,
sometimes nobody's in on it, you know, and sometimes we're
just uncomfortable and we don't want to be and it
doesn't make sense to us because we don't like randomness
and we don't like chaos. You know. Sometimes it's not
a conspiracy, it's just poor communication and an overworked HR department.
I don't fucking know. You know, if three people don't
text you back, that's not a cabal, that's Tuesday. You
can live in a world where everyone's plotting, or you
can live in a world where sometimes things just happen,
and if you're walking around saying that, just think about
that's what I mean again. I get it. Janet Jackson thing,
the Ray j the sex tape. Maybe certainly seems like
some people did better than others in those situations. Maybe
that there was some kind of thing like, hey, we're
gonna try this and if it goes sideways, you're gonna
hang on it. But you can live in a world
where everyone's plotting, or you can live in a world
where sometimes things just happen. One of those worlds makes
you guarded. The other one, in my opinion, makes you free,
so you can live any way you want. But when
I heard this and it happened to be with people
that I know, they were in on it all along.
They were in on it all along, Yeah, because what
happened didn't jive with you, didn't jive with your life,
didn't jive with the way you wanted to be treated,
the way you thought you should be respected, and so
therefore they had to be in on it. Or you
can just live free and realize sometimes things just happen
and they don't work out your choice. Thanks for hanging
in there for a short little podcast. It's now about
twelve forty five in the morning. I hope it makes sense.
I really do, because boy, when I heard this, it
bothered me because I know the people involved, and you
go the other thing. I'll tell I'll tell you this.
When you hear that word, when you hear that word
or that phrase, they were in on it the whole time.
Sometimes I'm telling you, look for the pattern, look at
the person that's saying it, and realize that. And sometimes
it is just randomness or a shitty situation that went wrong,
or poor communication along the way. But let's not all
victimize ourselves, even if it feels better in the moment.
In the long run, you kind of knows a land
of opportuna tea for me is just a curse of
tell that child didn't make a steel. But I don't
have to wait. You gotta need a looking for cattle
that would Tennessee. Please sh